chapter 25 - notes as always at the bottom! hope you enjoy!

Jason waited for someone to come.

He was certain that sooner or later one of those leaches she'd become mixed up with would rear their ugly head and try to take her from his home, but first hours passed, then days, then a week, and no one came. They just left her, and it was up to him to try and keep her going.

She hadn't spoken a word to him since that first night when he'd come back into the hallway to find her laid on the ground sobbing. He did the only thing he could think of, and laid down beside her. All he wanted to do was hold her but whatever had happened made it feel wrong to do so, like she wouldn't appreciate the gesture, so instead he reached out and held her hand so she'd know even as her eyes blurred with more bloodied tears that he was there. He told himself that he felt her squeeze his hand back, but the truth was she was limp to his touch. Like she hardly even registered it.

She cried for two days. The sobs had stopped but the tears didn't - it was as though a leak had sprung in her head and she didn't know how to fix it, so she let it flood instead. After a few hours on the floor he'd managed to lift her up and get her on a couch, but Lou fell into that same fetal position as before.

He wrapped a cover over her and left her there.

In a way he resented this, seeing her cry over him. He'd never seen her cry like this when they were together, not once. In their time Lou would usually just lose her temper, call him every pig under the sun, and storm off to go have a rant with Sookie over whatever dick move he'd pulled this time. Even when he broke her heart in Texas he watched as she pulled herself together only a few minutes later and ran off into the night with Northman by her side. Perhaps, he thought, the great big jackass had managed to do something worse than he ever had, hence the world crumbling down kind of reaction he was seeing now. That much he thought was very likely to be true, but in the same wave he readily acknowledged the real truth of it.

Lou loved Northman more.

It was cruel thinking this, but true none the less.

Those first days he never left her side. There was the temptation to ring Sookie, but he guessed had Lou wanted her involved in whatever was happening she'd have gone to her in the first place. Some help of any kind would have been appreciated but god knows he wasn't desperate enough to go and find one of those other vamps who she'd been running with.

No - Jason could handle this. He could look after her just fine.

After the tears stopped she still didn't speak. Admitedly she sat up from the fetal position and looked something close to with it again, but still, no words. On the third day he let it pass. On the fourth he was aggravated by it. By the fifth he had no fucking clue what to do.

"Y'can't just spend the rest of your life on my sofa, Lou." He was sat in front of her as he spoke, as he'd found the only way to get her attention was to be at the forefront of her line of sight. Otherwise she'd just carry on staring into space like some damn crazy person. "Y'need to get up. Y'need to eat."

"... Fine. I'll go." It was almost a shock to hear her speak after all this time, but it was the last thing he'd wanted to hear.

"Like hell I'm lettin' you leave. You ain't in no fit state to go nowhere, but I need you to work with me here. I can't help if y'don't." He all but pleaded.

"You're right," She replied. "You can't help, Jason."

And that put a stop to that conversation rather effectively.

He walked off into the kitchen to fetch another bottle of Tru Blood for her, determined if she wasn't going to get it together he was going to make sure she was fed. It was placed down in front of her, and after prompting her for several minutes Lou eventually nodded in acknowledgement that it was there. Nothing changed though. She just sat still and let it go bad like all the others, so this one also ended up being poured down the drain before it stunk out the house.

They repeated this process twice more before he finally came to the end of his tether.

He was willing to do anything just to try and snap her out of it.

"Hey!" He shouted from his porch in the middle of the night, into what looked to be empty forest around them. "I know you're out there!" He bellowed, when in fact he knew nothing of the sort. The truth was he hoped someone was out there. "I know ya'll keep tabs on her, so y'might wanna make yourself something close to useful and get your ass out here!"

He wasn't sure who he was hoping to be talking to. If Northman showed his face he might just follow through on his threat of blowing a hole into his chest, but honestly, if he thought he could do something to help he would let him.

He would let anyone.

Thankfully though, the one who landed very soundly in front of him was as close to a friendly face as he could have hoped for.

"Hello Mr. Stackhouse." Godric said softly.

Jason in turn smiled.

"Never thought I'd say it, but it's good to see you." He replied, extending his hand in a very human gesture. Godric smiled gratefully and took it in his own for a small shake. "... She's a god damn mess, Mr Godric. She won't eat, she won't sleep - hell I've had to barricade the windows in the day cause I can't even get her off the couch. I don't know what to do no-more."

"I know," Godric replied gently. "I followed Eric that first night to ensure things didn't get out of hand. I've stayed close since." Knowing that at least one of them truly cared enough to stick around made him thankful, but Jason was too distracted by how he'd managed to not burn alive in the day to focus on as much.

Bigger picture, he thought to himself.

"I don't think she's ready to see me." He added with a slightly somber tone.

"I don't think she's ever gonna be," Jason replied with a small shrug. "She- I've never seen her like this. Not even when she lost her Ma. Now I don't know if seeing one of you is gonna make her better or worse, but I'm 'bout willing to try anythin'."

Godric nodded.

"Well then," He started with a small an extremely forced smile. "If you would be kind enough to invite me in, I'll see what I can do."

Jason half chuckled, realising now that he'd never had so many vampires in his house in his entire god damn life as he'd had rock up in the past 2 weeks.

"Please, Mr Godric, do come in."

Folsom Prison Blues.

That was the song that Lou had stuck in her head on loop. Her Dad had always been a huge Johnny Cash fan, but that much went without saying. He was a red-neck after all. He'd make her and her sister listen to that track over and over again while they were growing up, so much so that the words were ingrained in her now.

She'd found if she just sat there singing the words to herself, her thoughts couldn't wander. They couldn't hurt her. Call it self-preservation, but she was quite content to ignore the world in favour of the lyrics of one bad song.

The only times her bubble would be broken were when Jason insisted on dragging her out of it, and my god did she resent him for it. Eat Lou. Speak Lou. Dance in a circle with a shoe on you head Lou. It was all just noise, coming from a desperate man who felt so much guilt for his own mistakes that he somehow thought if he could fix someone elses they would be forgiven. This much she was absoloutely certain of, because had he ever cared about her the way he so ardently professed to he would never have played a hand in ruining her in the first place.

Had she somewhere else to go she'd be gone, but she didn't. Truth be told she didn't particularly care either. Whether she rotted there or rotted in a pit of her own making it made no difference. Lou was going to sit, and she was going to sing to herself, and the rest of the world could go fuck itself.

She was on her 56th rendition when he came back again.

"Lou," He started meekly. "Godric's here to see you." But she'd already sensed he was there before Jason had said his name.

His presence felt like needles across her skin, and just like that he truly had her attention for the first time in days. Her glare snapped across the room, straight through him and to the boy-god who stood a little further behind.

"Get the fuck out." Lou all but snarled in his direction.

How dare he, she thought. How dare any of them show up here, now, when it was all too late.

"Y'know what, I think I'm just gonna leave ya'll to it." Jason responded quite awkwardly, before making himself very scarce and heading towards the back of the house. In doing so he left no buffer between her and Godric, who for some reason took it as a cue to move closer to her.

"I said, get the fuck out of here!" She belowed, standing now on weak legs. He did not respond. "Are you deaf?! Are you fucking warped in the head?!" The fire was burning like an inferno once again. It span hot and painful inside her gut, begging her to consume anything to feed it's flames. Godric still didn't speak, but continued taking steady steps.

She knew she couldn't take him - he was older, and stronger. She could most definitely throw a coffee table at his head though, and one sat primely in front of her. It felt light as a feather as she lifted it and threw it with all her strength across the room. He in turn did nothing but duck, letting it smash into the wall behind him.

"Leave!" She screamed. "You've had your fucking games, now leave! Just leave!" Before she could put sense to her actions she was across the room and pinning him against the nearest wall. Were she anyone else there was no doubt that he'd have returned in kind and had her flat on her back the second she'd dared raise a finger to him, but instead Godric stood solemenly and allowed her to force her hand around his throat and pretend that she was the one strong enough to hold him there.

Lou didn't realise she was crying again until a minute passed, and he reached forward to wipe a bloodied tear from her cheek. Her heaved breaths of anger then gradually turned into slow and heavy sobs, and as if on its own her fragile body crumpled weakly into his arms that awaited her gladly.

"I'm sorry," Godric murmured gently, his arms wrapping beneath her legs so he could carry her back to the spot on the sofa that was sure had molded to the shape of her body by then. "I'm so, so sorry Lou."

There was no end here. No conversation to be had that would bring her closure. She wanted to accuse him of being in on it - to tell him to his face that she was certain he'd been as much a part of this as he had, and that she loathed his very existence for it. The truth was though that in her heart she knew he hadn't been. Godric loved her just as much as he did Eric, in spite of the fact that their time together had been a smudge in the grand scheme of his life compared to that of his eldest progeny, it was enough she knew, for him to come forward and tell her the truth had he known it from the start. He would never have allowed her to find out in so callous or cruel a fashion had he known all along the hidden agenda.

So instead when he was there to hold her, she was glad to take the comfort and curl into his side where she could sob sadly until her body had nothing else to give.

"And what about Edgington?" Lou asked quietly, her hands trembling as they brought the now half empty bottle of Tru Blood to her lips again for another sip. Truth be told she wasn't hungry, but Godric being Godric had managed to corerce her into eating. Every mouthful felt like tar coating her throat as her body tried to reject the notion of functioning, but she had to do it. For him she had to.

Some time had passed now since he'd arrived. For hours they'd sat whilst she cried, but like always the tears eventually ran dry and her body worked long enough to pull itself together and sit upright. That was when the burning question had come to her lips.

"Dealt with," He responded in far too blase a manner. "He didn't have much fight left in him. You could almost say he went willingly."

Lou hadn't really asked for her. Had their foe come to Jason's door and asked to put a stake through her heart she probably would have thanked him for it, but her friends didn't deserve that fate. Jason and Sookie hadn't asked to be caught up in the mess that her existence had made. If Godric said it was dealt with she trusted him enough to believe as much without further questioning, so instead she nodded and took another sip.

An uncomfortable silence fell. Godric stared at her in a way that could only be described as desperate, and Lou in turn pretended he wasn't there.

"...What do you want, Lou?" He asked after a long while.

Lou turned to him with a furrowed brow, her expression alone enough to say that she was confused by the question.

"You can come with me, if you like. We can go somewhere far from here and start again if that's what will help." He offered. "Or I can help you make a home of your own... I can buy a house. We can make it yours, entirely as you would want it and you can continue your life as you did before." Watching him speak it was almost as though you could see the cogs in his head turning. Like the wheels were in motion and he was running with them in a desperate attempt to finally get somewhere good. 'Desperate' she soon realised was the operative word, because Godric soon reached forward to hold her hand as his sad eyes pleaded, "You can have whatever you want, but please Lou. Please tell me how I can help you. I need to help."

Godric, for the first time she was sure in many years, didn't know what to do. He wanted to make it better but he handn't the slightest clue how he could.

The unfortunate truth was that she didn't either.

"Do you remember how you felt when you lost Elizabeth?"She asked in return. Godric blinked but gave nothing away. The two hadn't talked about the human he'd once loved since the day he'd revealed what she was truly was, but he didn't need to question why she was brought up now. He understood entirely.

"I do." He replied softly. "I felt anger... Unlike any kind of anger I'd felt before. This wasn't just rage for the sake of wreckage but something so much worse." His eyes glazed a little as he spoke, as though he was no longer with her but lost in his own memories. "The anger was better though. Almost-"

"Easier." Lou interjected, knowing exactly the kind of emotion he was describing. The fire. Even thinking about it made it flare again from within. Neither of them needed to say it but as his eyes focused on her again, both of them thought of how the fury was so much better than the agonising pain it was laced with. At least when the world was burning you felt something, which was so much sweeter than falling into the echoing darkness that threatened to engulf you. She wanted to ask him more questions but the problem was Godric couldn't really understand. Yes, he knew loss, but hers was unlike his. He was torn apart by death, a heartbreaking but inevitable reality for all mortals.

Lou's heart had been torn apart by the knowledge that everything she'd loved was a lie. On top of her suffering were layers of betrayal, and confusion, and ultimately the burden of acceptance that it had meant nothing. What she'd been through had not been ineivtable, as there were no laws of the universe that dictacted this was coming to her eventually. Death played no part in it.

Maybe it would have been easier if Eric were dead. At least then her grief would be lessened by the thought of how impossibly she'd been loved and loved him in return. Now she didn't even have that to hold on to. He'd broken that along with everything else after he'd given her the world and the truth had snatched it away. Her grief was unexplainable, because the love she mourned was also the villain she loathed, but thinking this made a sense of spite rise within her. She could imagine him now, sat on his make-shift throne waiting for her sorrow to become so inexplicable that she'd find a way to convince herself she was able to forgive him before she went running back.

A part of her thought that was actually a nice idea; to pretend nothing had ever happened and fall back into his arms for the sake of feeling whole again. A greater part of her realised she'd sooner have a stake through her heart than give him the satisfaction. Whether or not she had the strength to stay away was another matter entirely, so the only logical conclusion came to her.

"I don't think you can make this better, Godric." She said after a long moment. "But if you want to help me, you can start by getting me as far away from him as possible."

Lou sat alone in the terminal. It was how she'd wanted it. All these bad rom-coms where people came running down from boarding the plane at the last moment weren't reality. She didn't want any crocodile tears from people who pretended to care whilst they waved her off in a moment of fake meloncholy.

No, she wanted to go alone.

Godric had been glad to hear she wanted to leave because Bon Temps was hardly the safest place for her to stay anyway. Everything else aside, the issue as to her being a breedmate was still at hand, and with Nan Flanagan running her mouth to anyone who'd listen about the pretty little thing she'd found in the south it wasn't safe for her to stick around. Her impending doom was a blessing actually. Having this explanation as to why she was leaving made it much easier than saying that staying on the same continent as Eric Northman made her whole body ache.

Jason took it well - surprisingly well actually. In hindsight he was probably just glad to see something close to human behaviour out of her again considering it was looking highly likely her only plan was to shrivel up and die on his sofa. He smiled, nodded and said he understood, even assured her he'd deal with Sookie so she didn't have to worry over goodbye's. There was a part of her that wanted to say goodbye herself - Sookie had already lost her once and wasn't given the decency of a knowing why then. The least she deserved was hearing the news from the source now.

But there was a greater part of Lou that just wanted to leave. To run without looking back.

Sook would understand, she told herself. She always did.

"Flight 309 for Edinburgh, now boarding." The voice came over the tanoid, sending a little bolt of recognition through her.

That was her flight.

Godric had tried to insist she'd go on a jet but she'd made it quite clear she didn't want that. The jets after all were Eric's, not his, and she didn't want a damned thing from him even if he didn't know about it. Commercial would do fine.

She threw her carry on over her shoulder that possessed everything she now owned; a few changes of clothes, a copy of 1984, and $5000. That much she'd also argued but after being so contentious about almost everything else, she decided to pick her battles and accept the money graciously from Godric. A little bit to help her get on her feet until she could find a job would help anyway.

Lou sighed one last time, and as she did fought back an onslaught of thoughts. There were of home, and her friends, of what she was, and Eric - oh god was there Eric. But before the last of her breath left her she watched in her minds eye as she pushed it all deep, deep inside a box, prior to closing the lid and placing it on a shelf where it sat alone and faded into darkness.

That was where it would all stay now. Locked inside a box, where it couldn't hurt her.

With that she put one foot in front of the other and did not look back.

what is up my dudes. this upload should have happened much sooner, but i won't lie i've really struggled with it. i've never been 100% happy with the transition from this part of the story into the next, but after realising that i'm never gonna be i thought fuck it and uploaded.

next up starts part III, which brings us into a whole new era of the story (did somebody say witches?). there's going to be a little set up but all i ask is you stick with it, and please know that despite his absense for a little while our favourite asshole viking will be back soon and spoiler alert but obvs it ain't all over for him and lou - there's so much yet to still happen and they're my fucking otp you guys, so just stick with it.

you have my love as always for your continued support - thank you xoxoxoxo

P.S. i've written a one-shot about godric & elizabeth's love story. it needs some heavy editting, but if you're interested please let me know and i'll find the motivation to get it uploaded!