Yuletide
Christmas 2015
Christmas morning dawned cool and cloudy. She woke him up early, untangling herself from the warm blankets they spent all night wrapped in, to stand on the bed and jump up and down on it to get his attention. He feigned sleep for a few more minutes, mock protesting her early wake up call the way she protested his.
"Come on Nicky, it's Christmas!" she whined for him, landing on her knees making the mattress sink in.
"Five more minutes?" he challenged her, peeking out from the blankets he had drawn up, showing only his eyes.
"But presents!" she pouted falling forward on top of him, nearly elbowing him in the side.
That pout, her hair all tangled up around her, the way she looked at him through his secure spot under the covers was all too much. She was too adorable. Feeling playful, matching her mood on this holiday morning, he sat forward, abandoning the covers and reaching for her instead, pulling her tight into his embrace, tickling, surprising her, making her shriek in delight. Her soul and presence in his life was the best gift, especially considering what she had endured almost one year ago, that terrible attack and coma that rocked her world and challenged everything she thought she knew about her life and her own stamina. Real presents could wait. This moment with her was all that mattered.
Her laughter and subsequent attempts to escape his hold only made him smile at how playful they were. He drew her closer, tighter into his embrace so he could tickle her more and just be physically closer to her, to feel the rush of energy they had while being silly this way, to savor the affections they shared. He loved her spirit, how the coma had not robbed her of her innocence and ability to have fun. She threw her head back, laughing hysterically when his fingers dug into her sides, pinching his way up her ribs. When he buried his face in her neck, peppering tickly kisses there, she shrieked the loudest and almost fell out of his arms.
Satisfied with making her laugh, he stopped tickling and let her catch her breath. Her giggles continued as she squirmed to get comfortable still resting in his arms.
"Gotcha," he teased, smoothing her hair back.
"That's mean," she pouted but only for a second before giggles got a hold of her again. She loved their time like this and after being trapped in that hospital for months, this playful moment was exactly what she wanted and needed.
"You started it," he reminded her, tapping her nose playfully.
"It's Christmas," she reminded him "don't you want presents?"
"Oh, is that today?" he feigned not knowing.
"Yes!" she declared, squirming to get out of his embrace "please can we go get presents now?"
"I suppose," he said not really wanting to leave the bed and the warmth that encapsulated him with her in his arms.
"Finally!" she announced, relieved as she scrambled to sit up and abandon the bed. She waited for him to grumble and get out of bed before she took his hand and led him downstairs to the living room where more fun awaited.
That fun included tearing into all their presents they had purchased and made for each other with excitement and vigor. Hence how the floor became scattered with papers and wrappings of the carnage of their destructive rampage. He had taken his time opening he gifts from her because watching her react to her gifts from him was much more entertaining. She lit up as bright as the decorated tree in front of them. He managed to surprise her with every gift and each reveal led to her leaning over the couch to kiss him. The last wrapped item she tore in to was squishy and made her make a face of confusion. Beneath the silver paper was a fuzzy blanket throw for the bed or the couch or whichever place she decided to call it home.
"I love it!" she exclaimed lifting it and unfolding it to see how big it was. She wrapped it around her like a cape, snuggling into its warmth.
"It's so soft," she declared, running her hand over the material as it enveloped her tiny frame "feel it."
She lifted the fabric up to his cheek and grazed it delicately. It was soft and warm just like her.
"I know how much you love blankets and after that crappy one in the hospital, I figured you could use a new one," he explained his reasoning for buying it.
"It's wonderful, thank you," she sighed as she leaned back against the couch with it draped around her. She only stayed there for a minute before maneuvering her way into his lap and snuggling him with the blanket, warming them both up.
"I love Christmas," she declared as if it was not already obvious.
"Me too," he agreed thinking only of his holidays with her over the last few years as being the best he could remember since he was a kid. He didn't have the heart to tell her how, for just a fraction of a second, he thought he would never have another holiday with her after the attack first happened. The less she knew of his fears that night, the better. Unfortunately, she had a way of reading his emotions, or was already thinking about her coma because she said, "I love Christmas more this time, I know how fast things can change and I never want to take that time for granted again."
"I know sweetness," he soothed with a kiss to her forehead "I know it's bugging you, thinking about all the what ifs, but you're here, we're here, try not to let it get you down today okay?" If you're hurting, we don't have to go to the Russell's party."
"We have to go," she insisted now, lifting her head from his chest "it's tradition and it's so much fun!"
Her mood switching from fun to reflective and melancholy back to fun was likely going to be a frequent occurrence today and going forward in the future. Nevertheless, he would savor the fun and soothe her sadness as best he could.
They wasted the morning and half of the afternoon away by cleaning up the boxes and paper, sorting their gifts, having breakfast, watching holiday movies, and playing with Sam and the toys they bought for him for Christmas. She disappeared upstairs to get ready for the party set for this evening. When she came back down, she was dressed and had done her hair, making it wavy but not completely curly like she had a few years ago. Since the coma, she struggled to maintain that infamous hairstyle, opting for a few waves but keeping it primarily straight with the flat iron. She picked out a pleated black skirt, black tights, heels that were taller than her usual pair, a warm fuzzy grey sweater and earrings and other jewelry to match. She had done her makeup extra too; there was more sparkle to her cheeks and a glimmering colorful tint to her eyes. They packed up their dishes they had made for the potluck style dinner, secured Sam in the kitchen and made the trip to the Russell's lavish home.
The exterior of the Russell's home was lit with white lights and fake evergreen and pine trees on the porch. The windows had multicolored lights as did the trim of the porch. They could see a tree from the window and it too was adorned with lights and ornaments. Thought it was a mild fifty degrees, she still shivered as they stood on the porch after ringing the doorbell. When Russell opened the door, he greeted them with a cheerful "Hey guys, Merry Christmas" and ushered them inside. Half their co-workers were already there, getting drinks, chatting, sharing snacks, gathering around the fireplace and the tree in the cozy living room. Julie adored this tradition, grateful for Russell carrying on this party as he had done in Seattle. It made her feel like she had a home for years when she didn't. Sharing it now with Nick and the rest of their friends made it much more magical and special.
She fit right in, hugging Sara and Morgan, laughing at the reindeer antlers Hodges donned for the occasion. Katie, Russell's granddaughter ran right for Julie, calling for her, jumping into her awaiting arms with joy and hugging her.
"Aunt Julie guess what I got for Christmas?" the little girl gushed happily.
"A hippopotamus?" Julie guessed.
"No," Katie giggled "guess again!"
"A dinosaur?" Julie tried again making a funny face of concentration.
"No," Katie said shaking her head, delighted at their game.
"A shark?" Julie tried again, playfully pinching the little girls side making her squeal delighted.
"No," she giggled squirming in Julie's arms.
"I give up," Julie said in mock defeat "what did you get sweetheart?"
"A bunch of new dolls, and Legos, and a new dress and some beads to make bracelets and a new game for the Wii and slippers with doggies on them and a horse pillow that's this big!"
Katie stretched her arms out as far as they could to describe her toys while Julie gushed in surprise over every neat thing the child had.
"Well you know what, I think I saw some presents under the tree with your name on it from me and Uncle Nicky." Julie told Katie who beamed and squirmed excitedly until Julie lowered her to the ground. Katie took Julie's hand and dragged her over to the tree, flinging herself onto the floor and picking through the wrapped boxes for ones addressed to her. Julie helped her sort her pile and watched her open each one.
"What do you say to Aunt Julie and Uncle Nicky?" Maya asked her daughter when she finished tearing into her gifts.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Katie gushed, hugging Julie then Nick, gushing to everyone about the extra presents she had.
"You guys are too sweet," Maya said privately to Nick as they watched Katie and Julie play.
"We love you guys," Nick said, "and she was so excited to shop for Katie, we went out after one of her check ups back in November when she was feeling kind of down and it completely cheered her up."
"How has she been?" Maya asked, "dad says she's pretty much back to normal, but sometimes I don't always think he's telling the whole truth."
"She really has been doing great," Nick explained "her memory is as sharp as ever, she's got all her energy, as you can see."
They watched Julie scoop Katie up and settle her in her lap to play with her toys by the tree, the pair snuggling close, whispering whatever silly secrets they shared, giggling, it melted his heart.
"Aunt Julie, will you come with us to Seattle again?" Katie asked.
"Soon honey," Julie assured her "Nicky and I will both get pretty busy at work but as soon as we get a vacation, we will come and see you."
Katie seemed satisfied with that answer as she snuggled up to Julie, laying her head on her shoulder, tired from all the days excitement even though it was only four in the afternoon. Dinner would be served soon and then they could tear into the amazing desserts that awaited them on the fold out table in the kitchen. Julie was distracted, watching the TV where a holiday movie was playing, and she felt Katie reach up and touch a spot on her neck.
"Aunt Julie what happened?" the child inquired, taping on her neck again.
Julie realized Katie was referring to a scar from her attack months ago. She didn't know how to respond at first, hoping to brush it off but the child was just as curious as her grandpa and would know if she was lying.
"Well honey, that happened a few months ago," she began to explain "I got hurt at work doing something and it's just taking longer to go away, that's all."
"Was it the bad man from Seattle?" Katie asked in a hushed tone, to Julie's horror.
"How do you know about that? Did your mommy tell you?" Julie asked.
"I heard her talking to grandpa about it," Katie confessed "they said you were stuck and couldn't wake up, but then you did, are you okay now?"
"Yes," Julie admitted "I am okay now, I promise."
She covered her hand over her heart as a show of promise to the sensitive child.
"Good," Katie said happily, snuggling closer to Julie.
Julie was spared any more awkward conversation by Barbara announcing dinner was ready. Maya took Katie to get her a plate of food, leaving Julie to reconnect with Nick. She was still shaken by Katie's questions but brushed it off as she followed the line that wrapped around the kitchen, island counters and folding table which were all loaded with dishes of food; ham and turkey, vegetarian lasagna, green bean casserole, the cheesy potatoes she and Nick made, bread rolls, a veggie tray, and fruit salad. After everyone sat down to eat, Russell stood up from his seat at the head of the table and raised his glass.
"Barbara and I would like to thank you all for coming and spending this wonderful day with us," he began " and for helping us prepare this amazing dinner, for all your hard work at the lab this past year and all the years we've been together, when I look back at how the year started, I had no idea how much we would all go through together as a team and a family."
He focused on Julie now who felt her face flush with all the attention on her, something she did not always enjoy, especially on a day that was supposed to be about family.
"Almost losing Jules was too much to bear," Russell continued "but her strength and resilience since waking up in May has been astounding, her recovery is a miracle, it's the miracle that makes me believe that we can endure anything life throws at us, and I want to dedicate this toast to her and to our family, how much stronger we have all become since her recovery."
He raised his glass as did everyone else at the table. She felt tears burn in her eyes, this unexpected attention making her feel unworthy of it. She looked at Nick, her source of comfort in situations like this and reached for his hand. He sensed her distress at all the attention and let her lean on him as she accepted the toast.
"Sorry to put you on the spot kiddo," Russell apologized as he sat back down.
"It's okay," Julie said wiping her eyes carefully so as not to mess up the sparkly eye shadow she opted for this afternoon "I really appreciate it, and I love you all, thank you for believing in me even when it seemed like, like"
But she couldn't bring herself to say the words, especially with little Katie watching her closely.
"We know," Barbara soothed, reaching across her chair to pat Julie's hand.
With the toast over, they could all focus on their meal. Julie's appetite was lacking now after getting emotional. Nevertheless, she picked carefully at the food on her plate, savoring the heartiness of the meal and how lucky she was to be here right now to enjoy it. The real treat she was anxious to get was dessert. When the meal was finished and the dessert table opened up at last, she took a plate and gathered as many sweet treats as she could, returning to Nick at the table. She brought back chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies with frosting and sprinkles, brownies, mini cheesecake pieces with a cherry and drizzled with cherry sauce on top. It was all the things she loved, sugar, sweetness, junk food. She sat with him, taking her usual perch in his lap, breaking off pieces of the cookies and sharing them with him, one bite at a time, giggling quietly together over their closeness and playful little picnic.
Full of their meal, she leaned against him, tired but happy. He rested his hand on her knee, squeezing it gently, the thin material of her black tights the only thing separating his hand from her bare skin. The continued pressure of his hand there made her snuggle against him more, as close as she could physically get to him. They watched their friends meander at the party, some dancing, some watching the holiday movies playing on a loop on the TV. This was her favorite part of the holiday, the quiet time after when everyone was full and sleepy. Of course, Katie was the most energetic one now, bouncing over to Nick and Julie asking her to play again which she obliged, sliding out of Nick's lap to join Katie back in the living room with her toys.
When the sun finally set and the rooms became dark, lit only by the lights strung around the walls and the biggest light source coming from the tree, did the party start to wind down. People saying heartfelt goodbyes, making plans to hang out in the next week or so and be back at the Russell's house for a big New Years Eve party. Nick searched for Julie, figuring she must be tired by now, finding her asleep on the couch, curled up with Katie at her side, arms wrapped around the little girl, cradling her in a gently embrace, their tiny frames illuminated by the glow of the lights, surrounded by soft pillows and a single blanket draped loosely over them. It was too precious, he felt his heart ache, thinking for a moment that this could be her with their own child had they decided to start a family.
"They are too cute," Maya said, having gone searching for Katie and finding her this way.
"Don't I know it," Nick praised of how close the pair were and how sweet they both looked right now "she gets tired pretty quick now since the coma, but it doesn't really hurt her to get some extra sleep."
"I hate to separate them," Maya said sadly "but we really should get Katie to bed proper upstairs."
"No worries," Nick said, "I'll get mine; you get yours."
They maneuvered strategically together to separate the girls. Katie being so young did not even wake when her mother scooped her up. Julie, however, sensed the separation of warmth from her leaving her side and protested, reaching out for her.
"Easy sugar plum," Nick teased Julie, kissing her temple gently "Katie needs to get to bed now, and so do you."
"Not tired," she protested "it's still Christmas."
"I know," Nick soothed her "but the party's over."
She ignored him, continuing to doze, curling up, clinging to one of the pillows now, her high heels left abandoned in a pile at the side of the couch. The lights only enhanced the sparkles on her cheeks, making it appear as if she was glowing, just like one of the delicate ornaments that adorned the tree. Russell was right, she was a miracle, for all of them, but extra special for Nick because she chose him, she fell in love with him. She was the one making his chest ache with adoration right now. Having spent so many holidays alone or just with the company of the team, which was still nice, he always felt like he was missing out on something, not having someone to share the holiday with, someone like her. But here she was, illuminating his world. Better still, they re-learned how to connect after her coma, it was like starting over in a relationship that felt new but was actually already established. Now he understood what a miracle truly was. They saw so few positive outcomes in their jobs, that recognizing true joy sort of faded from his mind, until her life force reawakened that joy. And here they were, soft, sweet, tender, warm, together, lucky, oh so very lucky to be here.