24 – THE MILA TREE BURNS

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The Third Timeline

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Halfway to Ferox, we meet with Emmeryn and her guards on the road as they travel back to Ylisse. Despite the urgency of our situation, I am happy to see the joy in Chrom at the reunion. As he talks with Emmeryn and Lissa, I leave him to spend time with his family and find Olivia and Henry.

They are sitting at a little campfire with Jasper and Lilly and Henry is staring moodily into the fire.

"He just woke up," Olivia whispers to me.

Henry looks up and glares at the two of us.

"It's not our fault you made your sleeping potion too strong," I tell him.

"I was out for twenty-four hours!"

"And we missed you," Olivia says, taking his hand and cuddling up to him.

"Horseshit. You were happy to be rid of me," he says. But he puts his arm around Olivia tenderly nonetheless.

"Not at all," I say. "We mourned the absence of your sunny disposition."

"Did you come over here specifically to mock me?" he asks me.

"I came to spend time with my family," I reply.

Henry's angry expression softens a bit. "I'll allow it."

We talk and laugh about trivial things for a while until Chrom walks over and sits down with us.

"I come bearing bad news," he says.

"Lovely," Henry says.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Before Emmeryn left Ferox a couple days ago a wyvern rider came from Valm. Validar was seen near the border of Chon'sin and Valm. And the next day they found the Mila Tree on fire."

"Oh gods," I breathe. "The Mila Tree is where the last crystal was."

"The messenger was not aware of this fact and I didn't inform her of it. Her concern was that Validar will come for the ruler of Valm like he did the king of Chon'sin. Valm is an ally of Plegia and they cannot break that alliance by killing Validar. They say he calls himself the leader of Plegia now. They ask that we do something to stop him, as his rise to power is our fault," Chrom says.

"He won't be after the king of Valm. He'll be coming here next, as soon as possible. And if he has been able to move so quickly I imagine he has a wyvern of his own."

"I will ask the Valmese rider Cherche and Sumia to patrol the skies around us."

I nod. "You must stay by Emmeryn's side. I assume she has the Fire Emblem with her."

"She does."

"Is there a way to destroy it?" Olivia asks.

"I wish we could. It's brought us nothing but grief so far," Chrom answers. "But no one has ever been able to destroy it before."

"No one has ever wielded the combined power of Gray and I's evil dragon magic," Henry says.

"That is true," Chrom admits.

It takes hours of argument to convince Emmeryn to allow it, but as darkness falls, Chrom, Olivia, Henry and I leave the camp a safe distance behind, the Fire Emblem in our hands.

"You two are going to want to stand back," Henry says to them.

Olivia and Chrom back away a few paces and watch us.

"No, you are not going to want to be within an eighth of a mile from us," he says.

Olivia comes over and grabs Henry, pulling him down for a long kiss. "Be careful," she says. "If you hurt yourself trying to blast this stupid thing apart, I will kill you."

"Thank you. I wouldn't want to suffer from my injuries," he answers.

Chrom sets the Fire Emblem hesitantly on the grass and looks at me. "Please be careful too."

"I will."

Chrom and Olivia leave us anxiously and Henry and I stand over the Fire Emblem, examining it.

It is the size of a large shield, with five hollows on it to hold the crystals. Emmeryn's crystal is in the center, glowing faintly in the darkness.

"You think we can melt it?" I ask.

Henry kneels down and sends a tentative pulse of magic at the Emblem. It deflects without leaving so much as a scratch. "We can try, but it holds a strong magic of its own." He glances over at me. "You haven't used your fire since Plegia have you?"

"No. I've been keeping it subdued."

He gives me a crooked smile. "Well then, I'm sure this will go swimmingly."

"Let's hope so."

Ever since Olivia put forth the idea of destroying it, I have been unable to deny the rationality of such a thing. My mind tells me it is our best way of buying time, if not stopping Validar entirely. I am not confident we can protect the Fire Emblem from him, for the past Gray failed to do so and Validar has only seemed to grow in power in this lifetime.

And yet, it was with the Fire Emblem's power that the man Gray reset the cycle of time to create mine. Without it, he would have failed to stop Grima and would have been powerless to try again. If I destroy it, I am destroying that eleventh hour wish that if I fail, maybe another Gray won't.

I stare at the Fire Emblem for a moment, considering the consequences of our plan, then anger rises up in my heart, flaring to life my energy.

Fuck past Gray, fuck any future Gray. I will end this cycle. My lifetime will be the last. And I'm not going to fail like he did.

I close my eyes and draw my magic into a blaze. The core of power twists with me with both fire and dark magic, like an animal in a cage, clawing to be let free.

I take a deep breath and hold out my hand. The moment I pull my magic to my fingertips I know it will take all of my willpower to control it. I can feel it rearing up inside me, sending flares of red light through my mind.

Henry and I shout our spells and send blasts of magic into the Emblem. For a moment, I let the fire course through me then I open my eyes to see if it has had an effect. The Fire Emblem is unbroken beneath us.

I drop to my knees and place my hands on the metal, pushing all the fire from my body out through my palms. My skin sears and the magic burns through my body.

"Gray!" Chrom shouts.

"STAY BACK!" Henry yells. He drops down and places his hands on the Fire Emblem like me, growling with the strain of magic.

The dark magic is starting to overcome my fire and my mind is incoherent with blinding light and pain. I feel a strange wall of magic resisting me, coming from the Emblem itself. My dragon magic roars up of its own accord, smashing through the barrier.

A crack splits through the haze in my mind and I feel my body thrown violently into the air. I hit the ground hard and the force of it clears my head. My magic withers inside of me and simmers like a fever in my body.

I feel arms around my body and lips pressing against my forehead. "Gray! Gray, open your eyes."

Pain stabs through my chest and I try to gasp air into my lungs. My eyes focus on Chrom's face in the moonlight and his eyes pull me back to reality.

"Her ribs are broken!" Chrom shouts over his shoulder. "Get Lissa! She can heal them!"

I rest in Chrom's arms until I see Lissa appear next to us, staff in hand. She whispers a spell and I feel my bones knitting back together. When she is done, I slump against Chrom, my body numb. "Did… did we do it?"

"I'm not sure," he says. "My priority was you, not the Emblem." He kisses my cheek and then my lips. "You're going to be alright now. You're healed."

I smile up at him and then the numbness wears off abruptly and pain kicks the air from my lungs, wrenching my stomach.

I push out of Chrom's arms and fall on my hands and knees, choking and heaving. My empty stomach revolts against me and I dry heave agonizingly. Suddenly, the ache of my sick body grows dim in the face of a sharp pain in my abdomen. I lie down on my back and put my hands on my stomach, gasping.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere else?" Chrom asks.

My eyes are closed shut but I feel a tentative pulse of bright magic flowing through my body.

"She's not hurt! I don't know what's wrong," Lissa says.

Tears stream down my face and my body shudders in pain.

"She's bleeding!" Lissa says.

"Where? She wasn't bleeding a moment ago," Chrom asks.

I open my eyes and see Lissa shove Chrom away. "Go away," she says.

"No!"

"Leave, Chrom! Now!"

He walks away reluctantly and I ask Lissa, "What is it?"

"You've got blood on your thighs. I'm sorry, but I need to see what's going on," she says.

She tugs the hem of my dress up. I feel her hand press against my abdomen, her palm cold against my burning skin. I feel her magic again, searching for a wound to heal.

"You're not wounded," Lissa says. "I can't feel any-" She stops abruptly and swears.

"What is it?" I ask.

Lissa pulls me up to sit leaning against her. Her magic has eased the pain but my body still feels sick.

"What's wrong with me?" I whisper, wiping the tears from my eyes. I glance down and see the blood staining my dress and pants.

"You strained yourself too hard and that's why you're bleeding. It's not from an injury, it's from your… it's from your womb. It could just be normal blood, but it could be... I have no way to know for sure, but is there any chance you could be with child?" she says.

Her words make me freeze with dread. "What?"

Lissa puts her arms around me and pulls my head to rest on her shoulder as I start to cry again. She rubs my back in soothing circles and says, "Sshh. You're going to be alright. You're not hurt."

"Liss… I can't be- I can't-"

"I've felt this kind of energy before in pregnant women," she says. "But you don't have to tell anyone until you're sure. I don't know for certain either. It's just a hunch. It's way too early to tell."

I hold onto her tightly. "I can't…" I repeat in shock. "No, it…"

"Is it out of the realm of possibility?" she asks. "Not to be indelicate, but if you and Chrom…"

"I'd taken precautions, but… well, it's never impossible, is it?"

I let go of Lissa and see that she is smiling. "You are going to be my sister someday," she says. "If you truly are with child, I will take care of you. You know that, right? You have a family now. Emm, and me and Chrom, we all love you."

The word family strikes remembrance through my distracted mind. "Is Henry okay? Is he hurt?"

"He's alive. I will go check on him and heal up his scrapes. Lie here for a moment. I will be back."

She moves away and I fall back on the grass, staring up at the moonlight in a daze.

Chrom returns to my side and kneels down beside me. "Am I allowed back?" he asks.

I smile slightly. "Yes."

"What did Lissa say to you?"

"She wanted to talk about womanly problems without her older brother hovering over us," I answer.

I reach my hand out and Chrom pulls me up, cradling me in his arms. I hold onto him, resting my head against his chest. I cannot even begin to sort through the sea of emotions in my spirit, so I focus on the sound of his heartbeat and try to stay calm.

"Are you hurt? Are you going to be alright?" he asks.

"I will be fine," I tell him.

He tips my face up to look at him and stares at me with his eyes wide with worry and love. "Are you lying to me?" he asks.

"No. Trust me," I say. I slip my hand behind his head and pull him down to my lips. I kiss him deeply and lingeringly, afraid to stop and have to return to my thoughts. Chrom cups my cheek in his hands and kisses me back, his worry slipping away into passion and tenderness.

"Um… guys?" Lissa says.

Chrom stops kissing me reluctantly, glaring over at her. "Can I have a moment?" he asks.

"Trust me, there is nothing I would like more than to not see you snogging Gray but she is my patient and you are in my way."

I look past her to see Henry and Olivia walking over. Her arm is around his waist and he is leaning wearily on her, but he appears unharmed. He collapses down next to me and nods at me.

"Still alive, huh?"

"We did it?" I ask.

"Seems so. The Emblem is still in one piece but it's surface is melted and it doesn't hold any magic anymore," he says. "The crystal is still intact but it doesn't seem to hold magic anymore either."

"I didn't think you were going to do be able to do anything to it! You actually managed to break it?" Lissa asks.

"Fucking thing sure as hell managed to break us," he growls at her.

"Henry," Olivia whispers.

He looks at Lissa and sighs. "I understand your doubts, princess. But I'm the most powerful mage on this continent and I could break a whole castle's worth of stone and metal with one finger. Your silly relic didn't stand a chance."

"Also I helped," I offer.

"You did your best," Henry says dismissively but he gives me a half-smile.

"Look, I'm not really sure who either of you are," Lissa says to Olivia and Henry, "but can you scram? I need to tend to Gray."

"She looks fine," Henry says.

"She's ill," Lissa replies sharply.

"I'm sure I have a potion that could help."

Lissa's manner softens. "You make potions? That could be useful. What ingredients do you have? Could you teach me to make an elixir?"

"Liss," I say, "don't listen to him. He only makes hex potions."

"Damn useful ones," he says.

"I wouldn't call them useful," Chrom says.

Henry raises an eyebrow at him. "Oh I believe the potion I've been putting in your tea every night to stop your snoring has been extremely useful to us."

"What?" Chrom looks at Olivia. "He's been poisoning me?"

"Chrom, don't be mad at him. I asked him to," she says.

"Damn you all," he grumbles. He gets to his feet and picks me up. "Lissa, do you need to look after Gray right this moment or can I take her to get some rest for a bit?"

Lissa looks at me questioningly and I nod.

"You helped me with the pain," I tell her. "I will be fine for a while."

She frowns but lets Chrom carry me back to the camp. In the privacy of a tent, he sets me gently on the blankets.

"You think destroying the Emblem will stop Validar?" he asks.

"It will at least slow him down. I hope Emmeryn will forgive me someday. I'm pretty certain I have committed treason against Ylisse twice now."

"She trusts me and I trust you."

Chrom lies down beside me and takes me in his arms, kissing me. He stops abruptly and says, "I shouldn't- I don't want to hurt you."

"Please," I murmur, "just kiss me for a while. I have much on my mind and your love is the only thing keeping me sane right now."

He kisses me slowly, careful to not press his body too close to mine. I lose myself in the feeling of being close to him, of his hands in my hair and his lips warm against mine.

After a few minutes, he pulls back and stares at me. "You're crying," he says, brushing the tears from my cheek. "What's wrong?"

I try to force back the tears but they keep coming. I hide my face against his neck and say, "There are too many things wrong right now to even fathom."

"Tell me one of them then," he says.

"I'm worried we won't be able to protect Emmeryn. We might have destroyed the Emblem but Validar won't know that yet. Every time I think we are one step ahead of him, he proves us wrong. He's a force of nature and I'm so afraid even Henry and I and you and all of us cannot stop him."

"We will find a way, I promise. Is that all that is on your mind?"

"I'm worried about you too."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know. But it is my nature to worry. I fear losing you now more than ever. I fear losing so much. Being alone in this world was easier. Now I have a family, I have friends, I have a man who loves me and who I love so much the idea of death is finally starting to terrify me."

"It should terrify you. You have caused me so much grief because up till now you haven't been terrified of it."

"But being able to throw my life away was the whole of my bravery, even if it was selfish and cruel of me. Without that, I'm weak, I'm a coward, and worst of all, I'm irrational. I can't see things clearly."

He kisses my head. "I think you will see things more clearly now."

"You don't understand."

"What don't I understand?" he asks.

I struggle to find the words for a moment, then say, "All I've done with my love is cause pain. There's more than dark magic in me. There's something truly awful, created for an awful purpose. I have to kill that magic inside me, and I have to kill Validar as well. But now… I don't know how to destroy the darkness inside me without destroying something very precious."

"What do you mean?"

The stress causes another wave of sickness to hit me. I pull free of Chrom's arms and cough, choking down the anxious chaos in my stomach and flinching as it sends currents of pain through my body.

"Gray, please, please tell me what is wrong. Something has changed. I know it."

I curl up and hide my face in my hands.

"Gray…"

My mind tells me to lie, to keep this dawning possibility to myself and spare him the anguish I am feeling over it, even if his gentle voice is pulling at me to be honest.

Chrom moves my hands from my face and stares at me earnestly. "Please, tell me. It is too late for secrets. We have been through too much for you to try and protect me now by keeping things from me."

"We've made a terrible mistake," I tell him. "I've made a terrible mistake. I should never have risked this. I should never have let this happen. I can never forgive myself for my recklessness, for thinking I would be invincible."

"What mistake?"

"I'm…" As soon as I go to speak the words, my willpower returns to me, drowning out my anxiety and emotions. I absolutely cannot tell Chrom. Not only do I not know for certain, but telling him now, before the fight is over will only cause him to be as terrified as I am.

And worse still, even if I survive this fight, what kind of child am I capable of creating? One with my dark magic? Would it be more merciful to not have the child, to spare it the corruption in my blood, to keep it from being used for evil purposes the way Validar intends to use me? Until I have answers, I cannot put this weight on Chrom's shoulders. He has been pushed so far throughout every step of this ordeal. More fear, more worry and he might start to crumble.

"What mistake?" he repeats.

"I thought I could outwit Validar. Now I might be just playing into his hands. The thought is tearing me up so much with fear I feel ill," I answer, which is not entirely a lie.

"Is stress really what is doing this to your body?"

"I'm afraid it is my magic too. Ever since our fight with Validar, this horrible dark magic has been raging inside me. It's Grima's magic, his blood. It's not meant for a human. It's trying to claw itself free from me."

Chrom swears quietly and takes me in his arms again. "No one should have to go through this," he whispers.

"I shouldn't have made you. I should have convinced you to keep your distance. Drawing you close while knowing it was dangerous is the most selfish decision I have ever made."

"Nothing in the world could have kept me from you."