Six days later, it was Sunday at dusk. Shinji had been sitting by the side of the crater lake when Misato parked her car nearby and walked up to Shinji.

"Did Kaworu come back yet?" asked Misato.

Shinji sighed. "No, and he hasn't responded to my texts or calls either. I don't know what I'll do without him. He told me I was 'worthy of his grace'. He's the only person who's ever told me they loved me."

Misato took a deep breath. "Shinji, I just spent all morning and most of last week driving penguins back to every frickin' zoo in Japan, so forgive me if I don't have the patience to hear, once again, about how you don't think anyone loves you. Lots of people love you!"

Shinji was pessimistic. "Really?"

"Don't believe me? I'll, um, I'll make a petition about whether or not you're loved, and get everyone to sign it. Would that make you happy?"

Shinji's face lightened up. "O- Okay!"

Misato gestured vaguely and made a face, then spoke. "Alright, I'll do it. First thing tomorrow, I'll drive around and get everyone's signatures."

Shinji's smiled and chuckled a little, and his eyes watered. "You don't have to do that, Miss Misato."

"Shinji, I... wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." She waited for a possible pushback from Shinji.

Shinji nodded. "Thank you, Miss Misato, I really appreciate it."

Crap, kid called my bluff, thought Misato as she was driving home with Shinji. Fuckin' kid doesn't get sarcasm. Fuckin' motherfuckin'-

Misato sniffed the air. She wrinkled her nose.

I could've sworn I cleaned out all the penguin shit...

The next morning, Misato walked up to Gendo's desk in the NERV Command Center.

"Katsuragi," said Gendo, "are all of the penguins returned to their zoos?"

"Basically," said Misato. "I mean, mostly, and I got Pen Pen back, but there are still some that are stuck in the, what're we calling it, the-"

"The Penguin Instrumentality Project," said Gendo.

"Yes, that's it. So we'll have to continue the drone monitoring of the shoreline to see if any penguins suddenly appear on shore."

"Hmm." Gendo folded his hands in front of his face. "Very well. Keep monitoring the situation."

"Oh, by the way, Commander," said Misato. "So Shinji's been feeling kinda down in the dumps since Kaworu stopped meeting him or even responding to his texts, and so, I told him I would get people to sign this petition saying that he is, indeed, loved."

"Katsuragi, you know you have better things to do with your time than this."

"Are you ordering me to stop, sir? Because, if you are, then I guess I have no choice but to-"

"No, no, no. If you agreed to this, then you're bound by your word to do it."

Right, my word, she thought. *That* thing. "So, Commander, I was wondering if you'd sign my petition?"

"Why should I?"

"Well... In life, it's important that we never take each other for granted. I mean, even with my relationship with Pen Pen, I feel that-"

"Will signing the petition end this conversation?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Gendo signed the petition.

"Great, thank you, Commander."

After getting signatures from Gendo and Fuyutsuki, next on her list was Shigeru, Maya, and Makoto. She walked into their work area.

"Hey, guys," said Misato. "So, Shinji is feeling pretty glum, and so I decided to make this petition that says that Shinji is, indeed, loved, and I'm trying to get signatures. Would you guys mind signing it?"

"Sure, I'll sign it," said Makoto.

Misato handed Makoto the petition.

"Hey, Misato," said Shigeru, "didn't you like, bang him or something?"

Misato face turned red. She turned and glared at Shigeru. "No, I did not."

"But didn't you, like, grope him or something? I'm just trying to piece together what I've heard from-"

"Listen, smartass," said Misato, "if you say another word about this, I'm going to pluck off each of your testicles and shove them down your throat!"

There was silence.

Misato smiled. "It would mean a lot to Shinji, though, if you could sign this petition."

"Fine, whatever," said Shigeru.

Misato took the petition from Makoto and handed it to Shigeru, who signed it. "Maya, would you like to sign the petition?"

Maya smiled weakly. "Could I, um, speak to you in private?" said Maya.

"Okay," said Misato. They walked out of earshot from the work area.

"Um, there's no easy, um, way to ask this," said Maya, looking off to the side.

Oh, crap, thought Misato. How do I deal with this? I can't just lie to her about French-kissing Shinji.

Maya took a deep breath. "Forgive me if you find it an improper question, but... doesDrAkagilikewomen?!"

Misato breathed a sigh of relief while staring out over Maya's head. She looked down at Maya. "I'm afraid I don't know that, Ibuki, but, um, I am visiting her next, and I can try to broach the subject. You should know, though, that a workplace relationship would be considered 'highly improper' by the top-"

Maya glared at Misato. "I know all about what you did with Shinji, so don't give me that 'highly improper' bullhockey. Do we have an understanding?"

Misato laughed nervously. "Hahaha, you don't have to ask twice, Ibuki. I'll broach the subject with Dr. Akagi and let you know later today."

Maya smiled. "Great! Now, let me see your petition..."

After getting a signature from Maya, then taking a detour to get a signature from Rei, Misato headed to Ritsuko's office in the research area of NERV. She peaked through the window on the door, and saw Ritsuko sitting at her desk. Misato knocked on her door, and was let in by Ritsuko.

"Hi, Misato. How are things?" asked Ritsuko.

"Oh, stressful. I could really use a drink right now."

Ritsuko chuckled. "About the only alcohol we have here is the ethanol in that lab-" She pointed toward her lab across the hall, which had an open door. Misato exited Ritsuko's office and entered the lab, picked up a small squirt bottle of pure ethanol, and unscrewed the cap.

"Oh, no, Misato," said Ritsuko, exiting her office. "That's for-"

Misato poured ethanol into her mouth and swallowed it painfully. She frowned and walked back toward Ritsuko's office. "That'll make your bull run," she said.

She re-entered Ritsuko's office, followed by Ritsuko. They sat down.

"Anyway," said Misato, "I have this petition I'm sending around. Shinji is feeling kinda blue, and I decided to make a petition that states that he is, indeed, loved."

"What a great idea," said Ritsuko, smiling. "I'd be happy to sign it."

Misato handed her the petition.

"Oh, looks like you spilled some ethanol on it," said Ritsuko. Some of the ink had gotten blurred, and some pages were stuck together. Ritsuko peeled the pages apart from each other.

"Still legible," said Misato. "Oh, there is a sensitive subject I must bring up. There's, um, a woman I know who feels strong romantic feelings toward you."

Ritsuko leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Really? What do you know about this woman?"

"Uh, well, she works here, she's really good at her job, she's bashful, uh, a little younger than you, I think..."

Ritsuko smiled and looked directly into Misato's eyes. "Perhaps this woman should follow her heart." She got up out of her chair.

"Well, the heart can sometimes be an ass."

Ritsuko approached Misato's chair. "Perhaps you should stand up."

"Oh, okay," said Misato as she stood up, and faced Ritsuko.

"So... would my secret admirer happen to be free tonight around 7?"

"Uh, well..."

Ritsuko brushed her hand up the outside of Misato's arm.

"Oh! No, I'm not your secret admirer," said Misato. "It's someone else."

Ritsuko's eyes widened. "Oh, oh crap. This is awkward. God, I need a drink. You didn't happen to finish all of that ethanol, did you?"

"Mostly," said Misato, "but don't worry, it's about to come back up."

After Misato vomited into Ritsuko's wastebasket, then explained to a pleased Ritsuko that Maya was her secret admirer, Misato left NERV and headed to the address of Shinji's Second Impact teacher. Misato parked next to the curb and stepped out of her car. By now, most of the clouds had dispersed, and it was a sunny afternoon.

Shit, it's hot, thought Misato, glancing up at the sun. My car's going to smell pretty fragrant when I get back.

Misato walked up the steps to the teacher's front door, then rang the bell. She waited half a minute. I wonder if anyone's ho-

The Second Impact teacher answered the door. "Hello. Can I help you?"

"Hello! So, I'm the guardian for Ikari Shinji, and you're his teacher. Now, Shinji's feeling kinda upset right now, so I was wondering if you could sign a petition that states that he is, indeed, loved?"

The Second Impact teacher stepped outside, and grimaced at the heat. "You know how, some mornings, you step outside, and go, 'Fuck, it's hot!' And other days, it's even hotter, and you go, 'Fuck! Fuck! Oh fuck.' while you're walking to your car. Well, this-" The Second Impact teacher pointed at the sky. "-is a 5-'fuck' day."

"It is indeed. Anyway, sir, could you sign my petition?"

"Okay. Put me down for one of each."

"Uh, okay... but you'll have to sign here."

The Second Impact Teacher signed her petition. "You don't happen to have samples with you, do you? I could really go for some of the cool mint flavor."

"Sorry, sir, but thank you for signing."

"I'm going to get them in the mail, right?"

"Uh, huh," Misato said as she walked away. "Thanks, and have a nice day!"

Misato's next stop was the NERV Guest House where Asuka was staying. Misato knocked on her room.

"Hello, Miss Misato."

"Hey, Asuka. I'm just stopping by because, well, Shinji is kinda down in the dumps right now, ever since Kaworu stopped seeing him or responding to his calls or texts-"

"Huh."

"-and so I decided to have people sign this petition that states that people do, in fact, love him." Misato showed the list of signatures to Asuka, who looked, but maintained the same stone-faced demeanor she had when she opened the door. "Would you be willing to sign your name?"

"I don't want to give Idiot Shinji the idea that I like him."

"Now, hold on. This isn't about anything as strong as 'liking' anyone, it's just about love. And anyway, you can just put down 'A. Langley Sohryu', and if he asks, I'll tell him it's a relative."

Asuka signed her name. "It's okay that he thinks that I like him, even if it's not true."

Misato nodded, then saw in Asuka's hotel room the last person she expected to see:

Kaworu.

Misato stood there, stunned, as Kaworu non-chalantly made his way to the door. Asuka raised her eyebrows when she noticed Kaworu was approaching.

"Hello, Miss Misato," said Kaworu. "How is Shinji?"

"He's... doing fine. But he misses you. Why didn't you respond to his calls or texts?"

Kaworu took a deep breath. "I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"I'm afraid that Shinji will be upset that I haven't contacted him in so long. With each passing day, I become more afraid, because I'm worried Shinji will be more upset."

"Why are you in Asuka's room?"

"Besides Shinji, Asuka is the closest friend I have, and she's been a good friend." Asuka looked to the side, bashfully. Kaworu continued. "We've had many long conversations."

"Would you be willing to see Shinji now?"

Kaworu stepped back and shook his head.

Misato paused. She brought a finger to her eye and wiped away a tear. "Well, Kaworu, I can't make you leave. Perhaps you could at least give your signature to this petition? It's a petition stating that Shinji is, you know, loved."

Misato stopped at Touji's and Kensuke's apartments in Tokyo-4 to get signatures, and it was late at night when Misato finally returned home, thoroughly exhausted. She plopped down at her dining table, then looked over at the door to Pen Pen's cubbyhole. Guess there's one more signature I could get right now, she thought.

She walked over, kneeled down, and knocked on Pen Pen's door. Pen Pen emerged.

"Hey, Pen Pen. I was wondering if you could, maybe, scribble on one of these lines here?" She presented the petition to Pen Pen.

Pen Pen extended his claws and grabbed the petition. He glanced over it. He walked into his cubby with it. Then, with Misato still watching, he ripped it to pieces with his beak and ate it.

"No, Pen Pen! Bad penguin! Very bad penguin!" Misato paused. "Is this because I put you in that Eva?"

Pen Pen pointed his flipper upward, then retracted all but one of his claws.

"Hey! That's very rude, and I know you know that! Hey, don't walk away when I'm-"

The door to Pen Pen's cubbyhole closed.

Just then, Shinji walked out of his room. "Is there a problem, Miss Misato?"

"No, everything's fine. I'll see you in the morning."

The next day at dusk, Shinji sat by the crater lake. He stared peacefully at the lake, waiting for Misato to return from her second attempt at gathering signatures for her petition.

"I'm sorry," a voice said behind him.

"Kaworu!" said Shinji. He jumped up and ran to hug Kaworu.

"I'm sorry, Shinji, for-"

"You don't have to explain, it's all right."

"I'm s-"

"You don't have to explain, Kaworu. I'm just so glad you're back."

They hugged, with only the breeze interrupting their silence.

...

Misato drove up near the crater lake, and saw Shinji and Kaworu hugging.

"Well, fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck." She glanced at the filled-out petition on the passenger side seat, and then looked back at Shinji and Kaworu. She smiled.

...

As Misato walked up to the side of the crater lake, Shinji and Kaworu were still hugging.

"I thought you were dead, Kaworu," said Shinji. "I thought that fate required that you be crushed."

"It only required that I be held."