A/N: who am i to deny myself the opportunity to fail at poetry once again?
From Domina Temporis: Twas the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, in 221B
There was deep trouble brewing for my dear friend and me;
The slipper was hung by the fireplace with care,
And Holmes was a chimney puffing smoke in the air;
Mrs. Hudson was nestled at her sister's away;
While we holed up in Baker Street awaiting our prey;
And Holmes in his dressing gown, and I with my gun,
Stayed up with resolve to see this thing done,
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
I looked to the window and was stopped with a hand,
When Holmes bid to wait and spoke no reprimand.
A sound from downstairs had us both set on edge,
I returned to my chair and remembered my pledge,
When what to my wondering ears did I hear,
But a quick tread of footsteps now starting to near,
With almost no sound so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment the danger was thick.
More rapid than either of us thought he should be,
Holmes put out the light, we would wait and see:
"Now, blast him! now, curse him! how hateful and vexing!
On, upward! on, forward! Vengeful and perplexing!
To the top of the stair! to the end of the hall!
I'll have him! I'll have him! For once and for all!"
As shocked as we were to hear such a thing,
When that door opened, I forgot everything;
So up seventeen steps that old man had come
Cursing Holmes all the way; no plain London bum—
And then, in a twinkling, he saw us inside
The mirth he had in those jolly eyes died.
As I dropped low my gun, and was staring in shock,
St. Nicholas broke this long silence to mock.
"You were tough as a child," he said with a wry look,
"Never happy with toys, nor a kit or a book;
Not a thing that I brought from my shop would suffice,
But Sherlock Holmes, I confess, you were always Nice."
His eyes—how they twinkled! And yet not so merry!
His frown was ferocious, his whole face contrary!
"So Sherlock Holmes I am here- you should best listen,"
Despite his great frown, his eyes started to glisten;
"You have done so much good for the entire world,
Have stood up against the countless evils unfurled;
I have long failed to give the correct gift to you
"So now," then he laughed, "I've discovered what to do."
He threw his arms out wide, gesturing to himself,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and he tossed something out
To me and I caught it, not sure what was about;
Holmes spoke not a word, but his eyebrows climbed high,
And St. Nicholas grinned before winking his eye,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He snuck back down the stairs on the balls of his toes;
He left us in silence much too stunned to speak,
Holmes was without comment, not a word of critique.
But I heard from the street, ere the reindeer took flight—
"Happy Christmas young Holmes, and to all a good night!"