22 – Hope – May 23, 2023

"So clearly you're wrong about that because there's no way he could have defeated ten guards and rescued his brother while still collecting the relic!" Aspen said emphatically.

"I think you're full of it," Steve said, smiling.

"I think you didn't watch the last episode carefully enough." Aspen crossed her arms and looked out the window. The spring air was still a little cool, but the sun shining into the car made the interior warm. They were driving up to the Avengers facility for a long overdue visit with Natasha. It felt good to argue about something as inane as the last episode of a show they'd been watching. They'd become...normal, if such a thing could be said about two former superheroes.

"I think you shouldn't have stayed up past midnight reading fan theories."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Aspen smiled to herself. She felt Steve take her hand, twining their fingers together. Everything had been perfect-or at least as perfect as it could get all things considered-between Steve and Aspen. Two years had gone by since she'd returned to stay with Steve, and they had only grown stronger since. They were never going to be a normal couple, but they'd achieved as close to normal as they could. Steve was still holding his grief sessions because no one was over the Snap. Aspen had been traveling more to repair the damage caused during the Snap with her powers, and she had started several fundraisers to help victims. They did what they could and even if it was never enough, they were moving on the best they could. Aspen and Steve had gone to visit Tony a few times, and the two men had started making their own reparations even if things were still a little tense. Clint was calling less and less, and Aspen was worried about him. He'd visited for Christmas the year before, spending a few days with Aspen and Steve before leaving again. It was a difficult time of the year for all of them, but it had been better together.

"I'm worried about Nat," Aspen said after a pause in conversation. "She's just holed up at the facility by herself most of the time. It's not good for her."

Steve sighed. "I know. I'm not sure we can say anything to convince her to change that. She's taken over since the Snap. It's how she copes."

"I know… I just worry."

Steve squeezed her hand. "Well, we'll try to cheer her up when we get there. It's hard to feel down when you're around."

"You're sweet." She couldn't help the grin that spread over her face. Being around Steve had always been a balm to her. She was always happiest at his side, and they had spent more time than ever together in the last couple years. They'd even broached the topic of trying to have another child, but somehow Aspen couldn't bring herself to think of bringing another baby into the world when Mara should have been there. They left it at a maybe for the future with a promise to each other that neither would press it.

Aspen let out a gasp as they started crossing the Hudson River, rolling down her window and practically hanging her head out.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Steve asked, tugging on her hand.

"Look!" Aspen said. "There's a pod of whales down there!"

Sure enough, she saw several tailfins sink below the surface of the water and before giant heads emerged, blowholes spraying water. "Wow, that's amazing. I've never seen a whale before."

"Water's cleaner without all the ships," Steve said. They fell silent after that. It was nice to see nature returning to places humans had taken over, but the reason for it reminded them of everything they had lost.

Now, when they visited the old Avengers facility upstate, Aspen didn't feel a pang of regret for her previous home. Brooklyn had become home, and they were thinking of buying a house in a nice neighborhood. There was nothing wrong with the one bedroom apartment they currently resided in, but it felt like a step in the right direction.

Aspen looked over at Steve, smiling at the contented look on his face. Despite their world being turned upside down, they had come out all right in the end. They'd fallen into their new routine, and Aspen felt like she was finally living the life she'd never thought she would have. Domestic life. She thought it would be boring. She'd escaped working an 8-5 office job though she didn't get paid at all for what she was doing, which was completely fine. She and Steve had enough saved to get by, and neither of them wanted pay for what they were doing. There was something safe about routine, and Aspen loved taking turns cooking, she loved doing inane things like vacuuming and dusting. She loved binging Netflix shows and playing board games on the weekends with Steve. She found she only barely missed the thrill of being an Avenger. Every once in awhile she would get an itch to go do something as Lady America, but she contented herself with helping repair damage around the area.

The world was hanging on without a team of superheroes to keep it safe. She wasn't sure if anyone still had faith in heroes anyway.

The Avengers facility looked deserted from the outside. It was a far cry from what it had been years ago, and Aspen found it lonely. She still remembered a time when it had been bustling with life. Now, it seemed that nothing was bustling with life. City streets still bore signs of the Snap, constant reminders of the people who had disappeared that day five years before. Sometimes Aspen couldn't quite believe it had been that long ago. She still remembered that moment in time like it was yesterday. Whenever she thought about it, about standing helpless as Thanos had snapped his fingers, all six stones in the infinity gauntlet lighting up, her knees grew weak and she began to tremble uncontrollably. Then her memories turned to her family and finding their ashes, three neat little piles, the only thing left of her daughter, her mother, and her aunt.

"Hey, you okay?" Steve asked, jolting out of her thoughts. She hadn't realized she'd been gazing off into the distance, miles away.

"Yeah," she said, giving him a quick smile. "Fine."

They found Natasha inside looking somber over a sandwich. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and her hair was a mixture of blonde and red where the dye hadn't yet faded. She looked like she was about to cry, which was something Aspen had rarely seen. Nat didn't cry. Not in front of people at least. A pair of ballet flats lay on one of the chairs around the table. It was something from her past that hearkened back to the Red Room and her days as an assassin. She hadn't danced much when they'd all been living together as a team, and Aspen wondered why she'd started dancing again now.

"You know, I'd offer to cook you dinner but you seem pretty miserable already," Steve said. Natasha wiped away her tears, smiling weakly up at Steve and Aspen.

"He's not giving himself enough credit," Aspen said. "He makes a killer butter on toasted white bread." Steve threw her an annoyed look, but she knew he wasn't really annoyed. She smirked at him. Neither of them were brilliant cooks, to be honest, but they'd made a pact to start putting more effort into their meals rather than always doing what was quick and easy.

"How are you, Nat?" Aspen asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

"Clearly just fine," Natasha said, smiling through her tears.

"We saw a pod of whales when we were coming up the bridge," Steve said. It had brightened Aspen's day, and she could tell he was trying to brighten Nat's day, too.

"In the Hudson?" she asked, surprised.

"There's fewer ships, cleaner water."

"You know, if you're about to tell me to look on the bright side. Um...I'm about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich," Natasha said, tilting her head to the side and giving Steve a teasing smile.

"Sorry. Force of habit." Steve took his jacket off and sat down next to Aspen. "You know, I keep telling people they should move on and...grow. Some do. But not us," he said, meeting Natasha's eyes.

"If I move on, who does this?" Natasha asked. Aspen felt a twinge of guilt for not doing more to help. For her, trying to move on meant separating herself from the Avengers. They weren't really a team anymore. She knew Rhodey was off on missions, and Rocket, Nebula, and Captain Marvel were out in the universe helping other planets that had suffered the same fate as Earth. But Natasha was the one staying in contact with everyone, keeping up to date on everything.

"Maybe it doesn't need to be done," Steve told her gently.

Natasha's eyes went distant. "I used to have nothing," she told them. "And then I got this. This job...this family. And I was...I was better because of it. And even though...they're gone...I'm still trying to be better."

Aspen reached a hand across the table to squeeze hers, and Natasha gave her a sad smile. "You're the best of us taking over like this, keeping everything in order. But you need to take care of yourself, too."

"I, uh, heard about Clint," Natasha said, sitting back in her chair and trying to keep her face calm. Aspen could tell how upset she was about Clint's absence. About what he was doing to cope. Aspen felt guilty for not stopping him. He'd gone back to a life he'd sworn to never return to, and she had just enabled him.

"Where is he?" she asked. Nat had heard about Clint, not from him. What's he done now? might have been a better question.

"Mexico. Took out a gang. Left a lot of bodies." She said the words clinically, but Aspen could tell her voice was about to break. Her best friend was hurting, and Aspen knew Natasha would give anything to be out there tracking him down, helping him.

"I-" Aspen was interrupted by a voice on a recorded message that popped up showing the front gate of the facility. "Who's that?" she asked.

"Ant-Man?" the man was saying. "I know you know that. I need to talk to you guys."

They exchanged glances, and Aspen's heartbeat sped up. "Wasn't Scott Lang one of those who disappeared?" she asked. But there he was, standing right at the front doors to the facility. How on earth was that possible?

…

"So you're basically saying we can go back?" Aspen asked. Scott had just finished explaining a complicated theory about quantum physics that Aspen had surprisingly followed with relative ease. Her days studying science in college and years spent around Tony and Bruce were coming back to her. "We can go back in time and change what happened." Her voice trembled. "Theoretically, we could bring everyone back?" Scott had explained that he had been trapped in a place called the Quantum Realm for the five years since the Snap. To him, it had felt like five hours. Somehow, he'd been brought back and now he was telling them there might be a way to go back and change what had happened.

"There might be a way. Who do we talk to about this?"

They needed a way to channel the Quantum Realm. To channel time. Essentially, Scott was proposing they build a time machine. Aspen had sat down several minutes ago, her feet no longer capable of holding her upright. Did she dare hope? Did she dare even put thought to it? Was there a chance they could bring Mara back? And everyone else? She'd put her faith in false hope before, but she couldn't help the hope burning inside of her at Scott's words. There might be a way.

"Tony," Steve said after a pause. "If anyone would know, it's Tony."

"Would he help?" Nat asked, glancing at Steve.

"I don't know." Steve looked at Aspen, his eyes thoughtful.

"Not if it puts his family at risk," Aspen said.

"Would it though?" Steve asked. "I wouldn't ask him to go back in time if that was even a possibility. But he could help build it."

"It's worth a try," Natasha said. "We have to at least try."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Aspen asked. "Let's go ask him." She met Steve's eyes and saw a similar hope there-and a similar caution. Usually when something sounded too good to be true, it was.

"Do you really think this is possible?" Aspen asked him as Natasha went to change and Scott went to raid the fridge for something more substantial than Nat's uneaten sandwich.

"It's something more than we had before," he said. "But if it doesn't work…"

"Then there's nothing lost," Aspen finished his thought. "We've already lost Mara. We can't lose her again. But we can do everything within our power to try to get her back."

…

Steve drove them farther upstate to where Tony's cabin was. Aspen wished it were just a normal visit. Whatever Tony's reaction, there was bound to be some tension. Steve's arms were tense as they gripped the wheel, and she put a hand on his leg, trying to reassure him.

Scott had chatted almost incessantly in the back seat for the first twenty minutes of the drive but had finally picked up on the tension and quieted down. Aspen appreciated his cheery optimism, but she was too nervous to start up a conversation.

"You have a daughter, right?" she asked him, suddenly remembering what little she knew of him. "Is she…?"

"She's fine," Scott said. "Grown up now."

"That must have been such a shock."

"Yeah, it was. I wish I could have been there for those five years, but all things considered, we're pretty lucky. Hope...my girlfriend...she wasn't as lucky."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, hopefully we can get her back. And everyone else," Scott said optimistically.

When they reached the cabin, Aspen was tapping her foot incessantly against the floor of the car. She was so worried Tony would say it wasn't possible, so worried it would be over before it even began. They didn't have to wait long. Tony was walking with Morgan back to the cabin when they pulled up. He looked up at the familiar black Audi. When he saw not just Aspen getting out but Steve, Natasha, and Scott, he gave a resigned sigh before inviting them up onto the porch for a drink.

"Aspen!" Morgan threw herself at Aspen, and Aspen picked her up, hugging her tightly. "You're getting so big!" Morgan had celebrated her fifth birthday, and Aspen had sent her a stuffed alpaca. Morgan was shy around the others and rejoined Tony who shooed her into the house so they could talk.

"You remember Scott?" Steve said as way of introduction between Tony and Scott.

"I remember him quite vividly," Tony said. "Like that one time he shrank down really small and wreaked havoc on my suit? Fun times."

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that," Scott said, giving Tony an apologetic smile.

"Water under the bridge. What brings you all here?" Tony asked, taking a seat. Pepper brought out a pitcher of iced tea and some glasses, smiling at Aspen and the others before returning to the house. Aspen didn't miss the furrow of worry on her brow. This was clearly a business visit.

"We might have a way to get everyone back," Steve told Tony. "A way to reverse what happened." He turned to Scott who explained his theory of the Quantum Realm and how they might be able to harness that chaos and control it.

"Now, we know what it sounds like," Scott said when he was done explaining. Tony had been quiet throughout the whole story, which was unusual for him. Aspen was watching his face, twisting her fingers nervously in her lap as she waited for his response.

"Tony," Steve said, "after everything you've seen, is anything really impossible?"

Aspen had thought nothing was impossible until they'd been beaten by Thanos. She just had to hope this crazy theory wasn't impossible. Scott was here for a reason and, against all odds, he might have a solution.

"Quantum fluctuation messes with the Planck Scale, which then triggers the Deutsch Proposition. Can we agree on that?" Tony asked.

"We might if we knew what the hell that meant," Aspen said a little more snippily than she'd meant. Tony refilled Steve's glass, giving Aspen a look.

"In Layman's terms, it means you're not coming home."

"I did," Scott protested.

Aspen's heart sank just a little, but Tony wasn't outright saying it wouldn't work.

"No, you accidentally survived. It's a billion to one cosmic fluke. And now you wanna pull of a… What do you call it?"

"A time heist?" Scott suggested. When he said it that way, it sounded like a joke, and Aspen deflated a little.

"Yeah, a time heist. Of course, why didn't we think of this before? Oh, because it's laughable? Because it's a pipedream?" Tony was getting warmed up, but Aspen cut him off.

"If there's even the smallest chance we can fix this, are we really going to ignore it?" she asked. Tony looked at her, and she saw both resolution and sympathy in his eyes. "If there's even the smallest chance I can bring her back, shouldn't I at least try?"

"The Stones are in the past," Scott said. "We can go back and get them."

"We can snap our own fingers. We can bring everyone back," Natasha added. It sounded so easy when she said it like that, but was anything ever that easy? There were consequences for playing god, so what price would they have to pay if they snapped their fingers?

"Or screw it up worse than he already has, right?" Tony said.

"I don't believe we would," Steve told him. Did he really know that though? Did any of them? Tony was the smartest person Aspen knew, and he wasn't telling them it would work. He wasn't really telling them it wouldn't work though either.

"Gotta say, sometimes I miss that giddy optimism. However, high hopes won't help if there's no logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist. I believe the most likely outcome would be our collective demise."

The only thing worse than failing to bring everyone back would be to fail at bringing them back and die trying. Or worse, kill off all the survivors of the Snap.

"Not if we strictly follow the rules of time travel. That means no talking to our past selves, no betting on sporting events-" Scott started.

Tony gave him a sharp look. "I'm gonna stop you right there, Scott. Are you seriously telling me that your plan to save the universe is based on Back to the Future?"

"No," Scott said, looking embarrassed.

"Good. You had me worried there. 'Cause that'd be horse shit. That's not how quantum physics works."

"Tony...we have to take a stand," Natasha said, looking determined.

"We did take a stand," he said. "And yet, here we are."

It hurt, but it was the honest truth. If they stood again, would they fall just as far? Lose just as much? "The day we quit taking a stand is the day we accept defeat," Aspen said.

"You've already lost so much. Are you willing to lose more?" Tony asked her, his tone hard but gentle.

"I know you've got a lot on the line," Scott said, turning Tony's attention back to him. "You've got a wife, a daughter. But I lost someone very important to me. A lot of people did." His voice grew more determined. "And now, now we have a chance to bring her back. To bring everyone back. And you're telling me that you won't even…"

"That's right, Scott. I won't even. I've got a kid." He turned back to Aspen. "I can't risk her."

Morgan came running up to Tony, who picked her up. "Mommy told me to come and save you," she said, giving Scott, Steve, and Natasha a scrutinizing look.

"Good job. I'm saved," Tony said. He turned back to them. "I wish you'd come here to ask me something else. Anything else. Honestly, I...I missed you guys, it was…" He couldn't seem to get the words out, but Aspen understood what he meant.

"Tony, I get it," Steve spoke up. "And I'm happy for you, I really am," he said, nodding toward Morgan. "But this is a second chance." His eyes were pleading. If things had gone differently, they might be here so that Mara and Morgan could have a play date, not so they could discuss making a time machine to travel back and defeat Thanos.

"I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can't roll the dice again." He turned to Aspen. "I'm sorry." She should be mad, but she understood. Would she risk Mara if she were in his shoes? "If you don't talk shop, you can stay for lunch," he said.

He went into the house and, after a pause, Scott and Natasha got up to join him. "We'll be in in a minute," Steve told them. He turned to Aspen when they were alone. Aspen hadn't realized she'd started crying until she turned to Steve and found him blurry. He took her hand.

"This doesn't mean we can't try," he told her. "It just means he won't help."

"And who's going to invent a time machine without him?" Aspen asked, letting out a humorless laugh. "Us?"

"Maybe. What about your abilities?"

"Because they've been so useful in the past." She didn't mean to sound so sarcastic, but she was feeling hopeless again. "I wouldn't know where to start. Even if I studied quantum physics, even if I used my abilities to become an expert, it doesn't mean I could put it all together into something cohesive. Scott knows a lot about the Quantum Realm, but he's not sure of how to harness that power and control it. I would need some other knowledge, but I don't know what."

"It's okay. We'll figure out something else," Steve told her.

"Tony was right, you are giddily optimistic. But thank you. That's what I needed to hear." She smiled, wiping away her tears before standing. They walked hand in hand inside where Morgan insisted Aspen sit next to her at the table. It was a tight fit but, true to their word, they didn't broach the subject again, and it was a pleasant enough lunch.

When they left, Tony pulled Aspen aside for a moment. "Pen, I'm sorry. I know what this means to you. If I thought it would work and you'd all come back safe and sound, I'd consider it. But risking Morgan and risking all of you when there's no telling if it would actually work…"

"I understand," Aspen told him. "Really. You're not saying you won't help because you don't want me to get Mara back, you're saying you don't want to risk Morgan. I don't either." But was she still willing to go behind Tony's back if they found a way? Only if they were sure, she told herself. Only if they knew Morgan would be safe.

"He's scared," Natasha said after Aspen had rejoined them at the car.

"He's not wrong," Steve said, glancing back at the house. "He's got a lot he could lose."

"Yeah, but I mean, what are we gonna do?" Scott asked. "We need him. What, are we gonna stop?"

"No, I wanna do it right," Steve said after a moment. "We're gonna need a really big brain."

"Bigger than his?" Scott asked indignantly, pointing at Tony's house.

Steve and Aspen glanced at each other and said the name in unison. "Bruce Banner."