Sorry for the wait! I've been so busy and also sick with glandular fever :(
Thank you to the people who have left comments reminding me that they are continuing to enjoy this story (there are too many of you to name, sorry! But I truly appreciate each and every one and they always make me smile and inspire me to keep writing). Sorry if you are frustrated with the route I've taken – but I've come to the realisation that I cannot please everyone (I mean, I could write a conflict-free story, but it would be very boring!).
Regardless, I am glad that I am making people feel something with my writing and, as always, I hope that you enjoy this chapter :)
In light of the requests of RoseforDimitri and Guest – I have added in a bit more of Abe and Janine's reactions.
RPOV
"Lissa..." I choked out, my hand falling to rest over my chest. "I don't have words."
She gave me a glowing smile, spinning in a slow twirl in her gorgeous, flowing dress. It hung delicately from her slender frame as she finished her twirl. She looked every bit the regal queen she was, one who would go down in history for her contribution to our world.
"We made a promise," she reminded me gently as my eyes started to well up. "No more tears."
I gave a small smile, shoving back the lump in my throat.
"No more tears," I agreed, returning her smile.
Our last night together had been filled with tears and laughs, but when I had tried to gift her my Nazar, Lissa had become hysterical. After talking her down and insisting that I wanted her to have a piece of me, just in case, I made her promise me that there would be no tears for me on her wedding day.
There was a knock at the door and I clapped, pushing back further my sudden onslaught of emotion.
"That must be your bridesmaids!" I called as I rushed to the door to find Sydney, Jill and Mia.
I laughed as their squeals turned into a collective gasp at the sight of Lissa.
"You look beautiful!" Jill exclaimed, rushing forward to embrace her sister.
I was so pleased that Lissa and Jill had gotten over the awkwardness and become closer over the years. It meant so much to me that, despite everything she had been through, Lissa had a family again.
The girls chatted excitedly and Mia pulled out a bottle of champagne and poured it into flutes. I sat back, watching them exchange excited stories and compliments and felt a smile spread across my face.
There was so much love in this room.
After our very strict limit of one glass of champagne each, the wedding planner was ushering us out of the suite and into the limo. After a short ride, we arrived at the church.
"You ready?" I asked Lissa, squeezing her hand in mine.
"As I'll ever be," she said with a nervous laugh.
I gave her a small smile and helped her out of the limo before grabbing my bouquet from the wedding planner. She looked slightly dishevelled from the stress of it all and I held back a laugh. Lissa, as I had always predicted, had been a demanding bride. She had every expectation that this day would go off without a single problem.
"Helen!" Lissa shrieked suddenly. "The clip in my veil is loose again!"
She gave me a panicked look and I gave her an apologetic smile as she scuttled off towards Lissa. I chuckled under my breath and joined my place in the queue behind the other bridesmaids before turning to watch the magic unfold.
Lissa stood, looking stunningly regal, as a team of stylists worked carefully around her, painstakingly arranging her dress and repining her veil carefully into her delicate updo.
"Helen!" Lissa suddenly shrieked again, causing her to flinch ever so slightly. "Is Christian at the alter yet?" she asked. Her voice rose about ten octaves into a shrill call of the absolutely panicked when Helen didn't reply straight away. "He hasn't stood me up has he?" she asked, fanning her face quickly.
"Um," she threw the bridesmaids a panicked look. "I believe he's there."
"You believe he's there?" Lissa asked incredulously and I watched with amusement as Helen shrunk back. I always found it amusing that people found Lissa so intimidating when in reality she wouldn't hurt a fly.
"Adrian texted," Sydney jumped in, saving the poor woman from a potentially career-ending blowout. "Christian's at the alter waiting."
Lissa let out an audible sigh of relief. "So everything's on track?" she asked.
"Yes, your majesty," Helen promised, shooting Sydney a grateful look. "Everything's going without a hitch."
I waited patiently as the bridesmaids made their way down the aisle before me. As the maid of honour, I would be the last out before Lissa.
My heart leapt at the knowledge that Dimitri would be standing at the other end of the aisle. I couldn't wait to see him again, but I was also incredibly nervous what his reaction would be. After so many days of not even seeing my husband, I had no idea what he was thinking.
What if he never forgave me?
That reality was entirely possible and I felt the waves of dread and anxiety come crashing over me as my breathing kicked up a notch. What would I do if he never forgave me?
I was pulled out of my hopeless spiral when Helen suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Rose!" she hissed, "You're going to miss your cue."
I nodded, pulling myself out of my Dimitri induced panic as I purposefully rounded the corner, timing myself carefully to the music as Helen had ruthlessly drilled into us during rehearsals.
As I walked down the aisle to the melody of the piano march my eyes went straight to Dimitri. He stood there, watching me closely with his guardian mask firmly in place. It felt like it had been years since I'd seen him last and I resisted the urge to run up to him and hold him close; to kiss him and clutch his body close to mine.
I wasn't afraid to die, I realised with shocking clarity.
But I was terrified of dying before I ever had a chance to make things right with Dimitri. I was terrified of the realisation that no matter how nobly I might die and no matter how many lives I might save... I was a coward for the way I treated him.
I stumbled slightly as this realisation hit me, as the fear that Dimitri and I may never have the chance to make things right vibrated through my body. I watched as Dimitri stepped forward out of instinct, reaching for my arm. I longed for the contact, but I had already righted myself and he stepped back, with nothing more than a brief nod in my direction.
As I took my place alongside Mia, Sydney and Jill, I made a vow to myself that I would talk to him before I left. Whether he wanted to or not, he would hear how much I loved him. I couldn't leave without him knowing that.
I tore my gaze away from my husband as the familiar chords of the wedding march chimed through the church. There was the collective shuffle as everyone stood, followed by a nearly audible gasp as Lissa came into view.
She was a vision.
I looked over to find Christian grinning so widely I was worried his face might split in half, his eyes watering as he stared at his bride. My smile widened as my heart filled with happiness. I was overcome with joy and relief at the realisation that, no matter what happened to me, Lissa would be okay.
She was so loved.
As Lissa and Christian made their vows to one another, I couldn't stop my gaze from flitting back to Dimitri. I was surprised to find him watching me with shining eyes. As my gaze met his, I expected him to look away, to train his face back into that impenetrable mask. But he didn't. He held my gaze as Christian and Lissa made their promises to one another. As I looked into the familiar dark eyes of my husband, a single tear slipped out.
I quickly brushed it away before turning my attention back to Lissa and Christian.
I schooled my expression to one of joy as they were announced husband and wife and kissed each other tenderly. I applauded, cheering them on as the crowd erupted around us.
I focused on my best friend, rushing forward to congratulate them both.
"Congratulations, Sparky," I grinned, pulling him into a tight hug.
"Thanks, Rose," he said, his smile diminishing somewhat. "Are you ok–"
"Liss looks stunning, doesn't she?" I asked, cutting him off. The last thing I wanted was either one of them worrying about me on their day.
He smiled, looking at me with a strange expression before his eyes glanced over to his new wife.
"Yeah," he said, a slow grin once again overcoming his features. "Yeah, she does."
What followed was a flurry of joy and excitement as we headed to the back of the church to sign the marriage certificates. Both Dimitri and myself were witnesses, but I worked hard to keep my focus on Christian and Lissa. Every so often, our gazes would meet. In those brief, electric moments a thousand messages seemed to dart between us, desperate to make their way out before our eyes were forced back to our friends.
I stood, watching Dimitri as he sat at a table across the dance floor. Adrian was talking to him animatedly, but he seemed distracted. His eyes would glance around the room every so often.
Is he looking for me?
A tall, dark figure stepped into my line of vision and for a moment I was completely irrationally hopeful that it was Dimitri. As if he was able to materialise in front of me from his spot on the opposite side of the floor.
"You okay, kid?" Baba asked me as I pulled my gaze away from Dimitri to meet his familiar dark eyes.
I nodded my head, giving him a reassuring smile.
"Dance with your old man?" he asked, offering his hand out towards me.
"Do you think you can keep up?" I asked, in a weak attempt at a joke that ended up completely falling flat.
He gave a small smile, trying to go with my attempt at lightening the mood, but his heart wasn't in it.
I placed my hand in his as he led me to the centre of the floor and began moving us around in awkward circles.
"Have you spoken to your mother again?" he asked me, pulling me into an uncoordinated attempt at a twirl.
"I had another chat with her on the phone yesterday," I reassured him. "There was a lot less yelling than the first time."
He let out a humourless chuckle.
"She just loves you," he reassured me. "We both do. We just want you to be safe."
"I know," I said, squeezing his hand. "I promise I'll be safe. But this is something that I have to do, baba. I hate hurting the people I love, but it's just so clear to me. This is the way to save our future."
He gave a small smile, squeezing my hand in return. There was a minute of silence as the music floated around us. I caught a glimpse of Dimitri as we spun on the dance floor. Adrian was still talking to him, but his eyes were on me, his dark gaze watching me intently with an unreadable expression.
I wanted so badly to talk to him. To hold him and promise everything would be alright. I'd had enough space. I couldn't stand another second of it.
"Well kid, we never stood a chance did we?" Baba asked, pulling me back to the present. I looked at him quizzically before he continued on. "You've inherited your mother's skills and bravery and my devil-may-care attitude and recklessness." He shook his head, his eyes far off into the distance. Both of us had given up the pretence of dancing as we stood in the centre of the dance floor.
"I'm sorry, baba," I whispered, desperate for him to say something.
He had been furious, like my mom, when the news broke. I'd received long lectures from them both. As much as they both tried to hide behind fury, I could tell that they were both just scared.
I was too.
"There's nothing to apologise for, kid," he said eventually, moving his gaze back to mine. "You're exactly the kind of daughter I dreamed of having. And while I wish you wouldn't be so ready to risk your life... I've never been prouder, Rose."
The relief washed through me instantaneously. I hadn't realised just how much I needed to hear those words.
I pulled him into a hug, burying my face in his shoulder to hide the tears.
"And you can rest assured," he continued, squeezing me tightly against him, "that I've offered a lot of talented people a big salary increase to be available to me this week. I promise I will have every single guardian at my disposal posted as close to you as possible and ready to intervene at the first sign of danger. Okay?"
I laughed, pulling back. "Baba, Hans already has men doing that. Have you cleared it with him?"
He looked at me with a mischievous gleam in his eye. "He may have called it a blatant waste of guardian resources and 'completely unnecessary'." He raised our hands up to make inverted commas and gave me a wolfish grin. "I may or may not be planning to ignore him."
I smiled, shaking my head at him incredulously.
"You're insane, Old Man."
"Nah, kid," he said, all hint of humour disappearing from his face. "I just love you."
I nodded, leaning in to gently kiss his cheek.
"I love you," I whispered, smiling at him gently. "I promise, I'll be home soon. I've got far too much hell to raise to be going anywhere anytime soon."
He grinned, pulling me close for one last embrace.
I sat, staring at my martini glass gloomily. I'd been so close to Dimitri throughout the entire dinner. We had both chatted in the group conversation, and Dimitri's eyes continued to meet mine. I was determined to pull him to the side right after we'd finished, but he had conveniently disappeared right before dessert.
Jill and Sydney chatted excitedly around me and I tried my best to try to join in on the conversation; to smile and laugh and look engaged at the right times.
Even I knew my attempts were woeful.
I took another long drink from my glass, promising that that would be the end of my drinking for tonight. The last thing I needed tomorrow was a hangover.
"Incoming," Sydney suddenly whispered and I looked up, confused. She indicated with her eyes behind me and I turned quickly. My heart leapt in my chest at the sight of my husband, walking purposely towards me.
He came to a stop before me and we froze, locked in each other's gazes for a long moment.
"Can we talk?" He asked eventually and my heart leapt into my throat.
He wants to talk.
Was this bad? Was he going to tell me he could never forgive me?
I wasn't sure if I was ready to find out.
Don't be a coward, Rose. I scolded myself.
"Of course," I said, quickly getting to my feet to follow him as he gestured with his head towards the courtyard.
I stumbled after him, my legs turning to a strange consistency beneath me as every possible different outcome ran through my head.
I made it through the threshold as Dimitri took a seat on a bench overlooking the courtyard. Without taking his gaze off the view in front of him, he patted the seat next to him.
I sat quickly, both eager to and absolutely dreading hearing him speak.
"I'm so sorry, Dimitri," I started when he remained silent for a long, excruciating moment. "If nothing else, you have to know how much I love you and how sorry I am."
He nodded, his gaze still firmly fixed on the courtyard in front of us.
"I've had a lot of time to myself lately," he started. I held my breath, the world coming to a halt around me. "I sat there, remembering my vows to you. How I vowed to hold on to my love for you and never forget how much we've overcome together." I let out a shaky sigh of relief before he continued. "But I also remembered your vows to me. You promised to be my partner. You promised to respect my wishes and consider my feelings. You broke that vow, Rose."
My heart squeezed tightly and the hole in my chest seemed to rip apart at the seams.
I squared my shoulders, pushing back the tears and focusing on the man in front of me. Own your mistakes and get the hell onto fixing them.
"I know I betrayed you," I said. Despite my resolve, my voice was shaking slightly. I cleared my throat. "I'm so sorry that I told you like that, Dimitri. I really am. I won't apologise for my plan, because I know in my heart that it's right. But I swear if you..." I paused, taking a shaky breath as I forced myself to get through the next sentence. "If you can find it in you to forgive me... to let me try to make this up to you, I will spend the rest of my life making it right. I should never have broken it to you like that. You didn't deserve it. I was a coward, and I'm so sorry."
Dimitri was silent for a long moment. The only sound I could hear was the loud thumping of my heartbeat in my ears. I wanted so badly to reach out, to hold his hand and pull him close, but I didn't want to rush him.
"I understand why you feel you have to do this..." he said eventually, "I really do. As much as I despise the idea, it really could work. I'll never agree with the way you went about it, but I know in your heart you didn't do it to hurt me. I know you're sorry," I nodded eagerly, watching carefully for his next words. I let out a loud sob as he added, "I love you, Roza."
Tears of relief started flowing down my cheeks as he turned to face me and his hand found mine.
"But you need to promise me that something like this will never happen again." He said as we sat, hand in hand.
"I promise, Dimitri," I said, gripping his hand tightly in mine as if it were my lifeline. "I swear it."
"Okay, Rose," he said, nodding as he studied me for a long moment. I couldn't place his expression. He looked almost hesitant. As if he were really unsure what to say next.
"Is there something else?" I asked tentatively, pulling our joint hands up to brush the crease that had formed between his brows.
"If you do this..." he sighed, pulling both of my hands into his and turning to face me completely. "If you go through with this and you want us to have any shot on the other side, you also need to promise me something else..."
"Anything, Dimitri," I promised, squeezing his hands tightly. "Ask and it's yours."
He took a deep breath.
"I need you to leave Lissa."
I sat, unable to form words for what felt like an eternity. Of all the things Dimitri could have asked me for, this was not an option I had considered.
"W-what?" I stammered eventually, staring at him expectantly for an explanation.
"I'm your husband," he said slowly, his dark eyes piercing mine, "and I'm asking you to pick me."
"I have picked you, Dimitri," I insisted. Could he not see how important he was to me? I'd left Lissa once already in my, in hindsight admittedly borderline suicidal, determination to save his soul. I'd risked everything. "You're the love of my life. You're my husband."
"But Lissa will always come first," he said back gently, he wasn't angry, but there was an urgency to him. "I can't keep living like this," he continued, "I can't be worried to death of losing you every single day. Whether it was Victor Dashkov, or Spirit bleeding into you, or her status as the last Dragomir or the Queen - there's always something. I'm not saying it's her fault, but her friendship has put you in constant danger. I'm asking you to put yourself first for once... To put me and our relationship first."
There was a long moment of heavy silence as his words sunk in.
"Are you asking me to run away with you?" I asked finally.
He shook his head. "We don't have to run away, Rose. We can become Court guardians or school guardians. Hell, we could even go back to St Vladimir's and teach. Just... please," he pleaded, his eyes piercing mine. "I can't take this anymore."
I stared at him for a long moment. I promised him anything... but could I give him this?
"Dimitri..." I said gently, "she's my best friend... my family."
He gave a sad smile, one that almost broke my heart in two.
"And I'm your husband," he reminded me. "We're family too. We're supposed to be partners. I've spent years sacrificing my feelings because I know how important this is to you..." he sighed, reaching up our joint hands to brush my cheek, "but I'm tired. I'm tired of being afraid of losing you. If you're really going to do this, then there needs to be some end in sight for me. You need to promise me that things are going to change."
I took a deep breath as Dimitri leant forward, resting his forehead against mine.
"I love you," he whispered and I broke, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face into his chest as heavy sobs ripped through me.
Eventually, I pulled back, placing my hands on either side of his face as I gazed deeply into his eyes.
"I promise," I whispered. "When the mission is done, I'll hand in my resignation."
He nodded, his face overcome with joy for a brief moment before it suddenly crumpled.
"Hey," I whispered, cradling his face gently. "Don't be sad... please. I can't bear for you to be sad."
I stood, holding my hand out to him. He stared at me questioningly and I smiled.
"Dance with me, comrade?" I asked.
We were outside, but with the door open we could hear the music from the dance floor.
He nodded, pushing himself to his feet as he pulled me close, both arms encircling my waist. We stood like that for a long moment; swaying slowly to the beat as I rested my head against his chest and let the tears flow freely.
The opening chords of a new song started and I squeezed myself tighter against him as the lyrics floated around us.
I swear to God when I come home
I'm gonna hold you so close
I swear to God when I come home
I'll never let go
Like a river, I flow
To the ocean, I know
You pull me close, guiding me home...
I felt Dimitri stiffen and pull me closer as the lyrics continued around us.
"Don't die, Rose," he whispered into my hair, his voice breaking. "Please... just... come home."
I nodded, my face rubbing up and down against his jacket and shirt. I'd probably ruined them both with my makeup and running mascara.
"I'll move heaven and earth to get back to you," I promised.
He held me even tighter against him until it became difficult for me to move. But I didn't care.
We were both too afraid to let go.
"You ready, Roza?" Dimitri asked, his arm snaking around my waist.
I nodded, watching as Lissa and Christian retreated to their honeymoon suite for the night. Lissa had become quite distraught as she said her goodbyes for the night. But I promised to see her before I left tomorrow, and insisted that she go and enjoy her wedding night.
"I'm ready," I said, leaning into his side. "There's just one thing I need to do before we go."
Dimitri looked at me quizzically but I just smiled, squeezing his hand and promising that I'd be right back.
I quickly scanned the room before seeing the signature messy hair I was looking for.
"Hey," I said as I approached and he turned to face me.
"Hey," he replied back, gesturing for me to take the seat opposite him. "Off tomorrow, I hear," he said, raising his glass to me in salute.
I nodded, my eyes downcast.
"I'm sorry, Adrian," I whispered eventually. "I'm sorry I've made a bad habit out of not being honest with you. I love you, and I never want to hurt you again. I can only imagine what you must think of me after everything I've put you through. I've treated you so terribly, and you deserve better." There was a shift in the room between us. We both knew we were no longer talking about the present, but how I had ended things all those years ago; how I'd never been brave enough to be honest with him about my feelings. "I know you have no reason to, but I hope you'll accept my apology and that one day, I can earn your friendship back again."
He was silent for a long moment, studying me closely.
"It was a shitty thing to do, Rose," he said eventually. "You can't be scared to tell the truth to those who you care about, no matter how hard it is."
"I know," I admitted. I felt the last of the weight lifting off my chest as I accepted this about myself. It wasn't who I wanted to be. "I promise, I'm working on it."
He nodded, standing and pulling me into a tight hug.
"Be safe, Little Dhampir," he whispered against my hair.
Okay – so I know a majority of you weren't happy with Rose... What do you think of this resolution? I aimed to address that ever-persistent issue in their relationship that their duty would always come before their commitment to one another. Hang in tight for what I've got planned next!
Song – 'Falling like the stars' cover by Cole Norton (blown away by this rendition if you haven't heard it)