A.N.: Part 2 of this chapter will be posted very soon! Either tonight or tomorrow, so make sure to look out for it! Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty- One, Barcelona, Part 1

Josh leaned back wearily against his seat as he surveyed the empty hospital lobby. He was exhausted physically and emotionally. His mind was inundated with various thoughts...he just wanted the night to end...to be back in his room, buried comfortably in his bed with no one to bother him...no life-changing decisions to make...no responsibilities, guilt, mistakes or drama to deal with...how nice that would be...

The same questions kept circling through his brain as he contemplated what his decision was going to be...should he end his relationship with Maya and bring back "the long game"? Did he even want to do that? What would that mean for their relationship going forward? Could they be just friends? How would Maya react? He knew how she would react. She would be devastated. And it would be extremely difficult for him to hurt her like that... After all, he loved her as his girlfriend...Even though he was doing a terrible job as her boyfriend, he couldn't imagine them not being together in that way...

Would she understand his decision if he was to break up with her as Shawn had suggested? On the other hand, how would Shawn react if he decided to keep dating Maya? Would he understand his decision? Ultimately, was he willing to defy Shawn's wishes even though it would mean he would probably no longer have Shawn's support? Exactly what was the right thing to do in this scenario? He had absolutely no clue...

Damn it! He thought in frustration as he felt his mind reeling from his thoughts and memories...

I like you, Josh. It's you I like.

I like you too. And I'd never want you not to be in my life. So, how about we try this?

Boyfriend and girlfriend right now!

No.

Boyfriend and girlfriend eventually! You're not saying no... You have to say something!

I'll play the long game. Live your life, I'll live my life, I know you're out there... and I'm out there, too.

That's your deal?

That's my deal. Someday?

Someday...

I'm going to make this short and simple enough for you to understand, Baby Matthews...I think you initially had the right idea when you wanted to wait to date her. I don't think you guys are ready now. I think you were smart enough to be concerned about the age difference between you two, and it's something that you need to think about now...

Truth time?
I'm gonna be by your side this whole weekend Josh. You don't have to hide anything from me. I love you. Ok?...

I need you to promise me Josh, that...that you'll do everything you can not to break my heart- because I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle that...

Oh my God, Josh thought solemnly as he buried his face in his hands in desperation. What the hell am I going to do?

"Josh?"

He glanced up at the sound of his name, and felt a sick feeling in his stomach almost immediately at the sight of her standing before him looking innocent...beautiful...hopeful... What the hell was he going to do?

"Hey," She muttered softly.

"Hi," He responded almost in a whisper.

"Um...you ok?" She asked him.

Josh hesitated for a moment before he responded. "Uh...I don't know..." He admitted honestly.

Maya gave him a soft smile before she sat down next to him and wrapped her arm securely around his back. She rested her head on his shoulder for a few seconds before gazing up at him.

"Shawn told me he didn't break us up..." She informed him. "But he said he spoke to you about what he thinks we should do and he's leaving it up to you to make a decision...He said I should give you some space until you decide...but I got...nervous...I couldn't wait any longer and he wouldn't give me any more details...just said I should wait to talk to you. Um, if you want me to scram, I'll scram...just lemme know."

Josh smiled nervously at her before he responded. "No, I don't want you to scram. We...uh...we have to talk so...I'm glad you're here, Maya..."

"Ok," Maya retorted. "So, what was Shawn talking about? What do you have to decide? What did he say?"

Josh sighed as he stared down at his lap for a moment before fixing his gaze on her.

"Oh, you took off your makeup..." He pointed out.

Maya grinned. "Yeah...not that it did any good since you had to tell Shawn the truth..." She shook her head at him in disapproval. "I probably look real ugly now, right?"

"You? Ugly? Have you seen yourself in a mirror, girl? That's impossible, Maya. You look the opposite of ugly...beautiful, I guess, is the word. Sorry, can't really think of any word fancier than that right now. It's been a long night," Josh stated with an amused grin.

"Well, I'm disappointed, Mr. I-started-college-early-smarty-pants Matthews," Maya teased him. "You got five seconds to come up with two more synonyms for beautiful. Ya ready?"

"Oh, that's gonna be so easy," Josh bragged.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep. Easy as pie."

Maya grinned. "Ok then. On the count of three...one, two, three! Go!"

"Uh...gorgeous!"

Maya giggled. "Ok, that's one!"

"Uhh..."

"Two more seconds!"

"Crap!"

"That's not a synonym for beautiful! Could be an antonym though!"

Josh burst out laughing.

"Time's up! You suck, Boing!" Maya teased him. "You only got one word. What happened to- 'this is gonna be so easy peasy like pie'?"

Josh chuckled. "Ok, so maybe I was a bit overconfident in my vocab recall abilities. I didn't realize how hard it would be to do it in five seconds!"

Maya slowly shook her head at him. "No idea how you got into NYU a year early...I think an FBI investigation needs to be done..."

Josh laughed. "Maybe. I don't really know either," He shrugged. "Perhaps it was my looks and my charm," He suggested playfully.

Maya giggled. "Certainly not your brains!" She stated.

"Nope. Who needs that to get into college?!" Josh retorted.

They both chuckled in immense amusement at their playful banter before an awkward silence descended over them. Josh knew that he needed to initiate the difficult conversation they were about to have, but his lips didn't want to move. He felt himself panicking internally as the silence between them continued.

"Josh, what did you want to talk about?" Maya finally asked him. "What did Shawn say to you?"

He couldn't remain silent any longer. He had to say something...

You're not saying no... You have to say something!

"Um...Maya...can I ask you a question?"

Maya looked up at him curiously. "Sure. You can ask me anything, Josh."

Josh took in a deep breath as he tried to calm his racing heart. "Um...you know when we were at the ski lodge and we first said we like each other...? I've been thinking about that..."

"Correction- you first told me that you liked me. I told you that I liked you way before that, Boing," Maya pointed out.

Josh smiled. "True," He nodded. "Anyway, when we made the deal to play the long game...remember that?"

"Are you seriously asking me if I remember the long game?" Maya responded passionately. "Of course, I do! How could I forget?!"

Josh grinned. "I know you remember. I just wanted to know what you really thought about what I said that day...you wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend right then, and I immediately said 'no.'"

"I still can't believe you said 'no' to an offer like that!" Maya retorted. "But then, I suggested we should date eventually, and you didn't say 'yes' but you didn't say 'no' either...so of course I took it as a 'yes.'"

Josh nodded. "It was meant to be a 'yes.' That's why I didn't say 'no.'"

"I figured," Maya responded with a bright smile.

"Remember what I also said about you living your life and I living my life but I'll be out there and I know you'll be out there too?" Josh asked her.

"Yeah," Maya nodded. "I thought that was bullshit. I'm sorry, but it was."

Josh burst out laughing. He hadn't expected such a blunt response from her.

"Sorry, but I figured since we've been doing this whole 'Truth-time' thing, we can tell each other the truth now...so yeah, I can like finally be honest about that. I really thought that was bs though, Boing. I mean, you liked me, I liked you, but then you were like, you will be out there, I'll be out there, we live our lives until someday...I figured you were probably gonna be dating other girls- cos why not? You were a hot lil thing. So that's why you said that...and I really started to doubt if we would ever get together someday...cos what would've happened if you fell in love with some other college witch? There was no way you were gonna break up with her and be like, 'Hey! someday is up! Let's get together, Maya! Kissy kissy, huggy huggy!'"

Josh laughed.

"I mean, I hoped that we would get together and it would all work out..." Maya continued. "But I really didn't know what was gonna happen obviously...So, that's why I finally got the courage to ask you- on your birthday- when we met up at Topanga's - about when you wanted the long game to end...cos at that point, I was kinda freaking out a bit, and I guess I just really wanted to know if you were serious about being with me or if you just said the whole long game thing cos you were trying to be nice to me..."

"I wasn't trying to be nice to you, Maya."

"I know," Maya retorted with a fond smile. "I know that now. You wouldn't lead me on, Josh. You're not that kind of guy. That's one of the things I love about you," She beamed at him.

Josh felt his heart pounding in fear as he gazed at her. "No, Maya. I would never lead you on..." He muttered. "Maya um..." He cleared his throat loudly. "I know I was the one who ended the long game when I asked you officially to be my girlfriend but...I've been thinking..."

"Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good..." Maya muttered nervously.

"So um...Shawn didn't break us up...but he wants us to go back to playing the long game...he said that he doesn't think we're ready or mature enough to be dating each other right now...so he thinks we should go back to being friends and waiting for someday...that's what he told me..."

Maya's eyes widened at him in shock. "You don't agree with that though...do you?" She asked him.

"I dunno," Josh muttered. "I mean, I've been screwing up so much with you Maya that I'm starting to think like he said that maybe...this isn't the right time for us to date...that maybe, we should wait a lil bit..."

"No!" Maya cried out passionately. "Josh, please don't listen to Shawn. He doesn't know us like we do. I broke up with you for like one night this past summer and you begged me to take you back. Did you forget?!"

"Josh- we love each other. How can we go back to playing the long game? That wouldn't make any sense. That's like when we were starting off. But now, we're way past that. I know Shawn thinks we rushed things, but it doesn't matter. Cos we're still past that stage. It'd be like going back in your grade. You're supposed to go forward, not back. You know?"

"He said you need to focus on high school, and I need to focus on college. You know, live our lives, and we can get together when you're 18 like we told him before that we were going to do..." Josh informed her.

"Give me a break! Josh, we're not the only couples in high school and college! It happens all the time!" Maya protested.

"How many of those relationships last though, Maya?"

"I don't know! But I know ours is going to last! I believe that Josh! I thought you believed that too!"

"I do believe in us Maya," Josh told her softly. "I'm just not sure if I believe in us...right now..." His voice trailed off as he thought of what he really wanted to say. "Maya, I love you and I don't want us to break up either but...I can't help but feel that maybe I had it right in the ski lodge all along...what I was thinking then was that we were at different stages- I had just started college and you had just started high school...we could be friends but then live our lives and then someday...if the timing was right..." Josh sighed. "Maybe that's what we should have done...maybe I rushed things...I rushed us..."

"Josh, please don't do this," Maya pleaded with tears in her eyes. "Please don't do this to us..."

"We can still be friends, Maya...we'll still be in each other's lives...nothing is really going to change...I'm not going to be dating anyone so you wouldn't have to worry about that."

"Are you kidding me right now Josh?! Friends?! You want to go back to just being friends?! Like, are you serious?!"

"Maya, please don't cry..."

"Of course, I'm going to cry Josh! What the hell do you expect me to do when you tell me you wanna break up and start being friends?! Thought I was gonna start jumping up and down in excitement?!" Maya yelled at him.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to take this outside. We have patients here," A nurse informed them as she gazed at them with a frown.

"Sorry," Josh immediately apologized before standing up. "Maya, let's go outside. Here, you can take my jacket."

"I don't want it," Maya muttered. She stood up, wiped away her tears and walked past him towards the exit. Josh followed her. They stood outside in front of the hospital in the frigid cold. Josh offered her his jacket again, but she shrugged him off. With her hands folded tightly on her chest, she stood quietly with her eyes closed, like she was praying. Josh stared at her for a moment before he spoke.

"Maya, I'm not trying to break up with you," He explained. "I just...I just wanted to let you know what I was thinking...how I've been feeling about what Shawn said...that's all...you know I've always been concerned about the age difference...it wasn't because we were three years apart necessarily, but because we were at different stages...I wanted to make sure you had your own experiences in high school...and that you had your own life..."

"I do have my own life, Josh!" Maya hissed. "My life doesn't revolve around you, believe it or not. I have friends, family, I have a hobby. It's not just about you Josh!"

"I know that," Josh muttered.

"So then, what's the problem?!" Maya asked him. "I have a life! So, what's the issue? Why are you still trying to break up Josh? What's the real reason? Huh? I'm too boring for you now? You wanna get together with some college chick who looks like Selena and go to Barcelona and have an adventure together?! Is that it?"

Josh felt like he had been doused in ice cold water as soon as she mentioned Barcelona.

"If that's the reason, you can be honest Josh. I'm not trying to tie you down. I'll happily get out of the way so you can go off and enjoy your life. I'll be just fine. Just don't expect me to be waiting for you in three years though. Because I can find someone too and have my own adventures. Two can play this game, Joshua Matthews. In fact, I think it's gonna be a lot more interesting than the long game, don't you think?" She stated sarcastically.

Josh sighed. "Maya, you're shivering...please take my jacket."

"No, I'm good. Keep it. So, you can give it to your next girl."

"I don't want anyone except for you, Maya. I wouldn't lie to you about that," He told her softly.

"Really?" Maya retorted in a skeptical tone. "Well then, you have a funny way of showing a girl you want her Joshua Matthews."

"I'm not breaking up with you," He repeated. "I wanted us to make a decision together based on what Shawn said. If you're not for it, then I'm not for it either...we can stay together...I'll get my act together...I'll do my best not to screw up anymore so we don't end up in a mess like this again where your Dad is trying to break us up...I'm sorry, Maya. This is all my fault...if I hadn't taken you to the nightclub none of this would be happening right now and we would both be in bed...so I'm really sorry."

"Josh... I don't want you to be with me if you don't want to," Maya muttered as more tears trailed down her cheeks. "So, if you really want to break up, it's fine. We can break up. It's gonna be hard but...I'll be ok...I'm always ok...I'll figure it out..."

"No Maya, that's not what I want," He stated as he approached her and tenderly placed his jacket around her shoulders. Maya didn't shrug him off this time. "I want you to be happy Maya. I want to be a better boyfriend...I'm not sure I'm good enough for you...I was thinking...maybe if we slowed things down, I could learn to be better...I would be better for you...someday..."

"We can slow things down Josh... I won't ask you to break any more rules...I'll try to follow all of Shawn's rules...I think we can do all of that without breaking up though, don't you think?" She asked him softly.

"Yeah, I think we can," Josh replied with a soft smile. "I think if we behave from now on, hopefully, everything will be fine."

"You're not a bad boyfriend Josh," Maya told him. "You keep saying that, and I'm not sure why you think that. If anything, I'm the one who keeps pushing us to break the rules. You've actually been trying to follow them...so please stop saying you're a bad boyfriend because you're not. You're not perfect, and that's ok. I don't want a perfect boyfriend. That'll be no fun!" She grinned at him.

Josh smiled and wrapped her in a tight embrace. They stayed in each other's arms for a few seconds before they disengaged.