When Brian got home he unlocked the loft door, placed his mail on the island in the kitchen and looked at his home. His kitchen was furnished with top of the line stainless steel appliances that were placed amidst granite countertops and stone tile flooring. Moving his eyes toward the living area, he looked at the designer couch, the expensive paintings, and SUPER HD 4K TV; all of them shouted to the even the most casual observer that he had money to spend on nice things. His eyes naturally gravitated to the liquor cabinet, even though his mind knew it was bereft of liquor. He'd had a great day and he really wanted a drink to celebrate. Both Justin and Ted had offered to join him for a celebratory meal but he'd declined. He ate because he had to sustain his body, but it had never been an activity that he thought about. Well, he did think about it when it came to watching his intake, but when it came down to planning a nice meal or looking forward to eating out at a special restaurant, that had never been on his radar.

Justin had asked him what he wanted to do to celebrate and he stated that he had no idea. While most people celebrated with a meal or special treat, he realized that he celebrated by buying himself presents. When he was a child, his parents rarely gave him presents for his birthday or Christmas, using the excuse that there was no money. He understood even back then that meant that his parents used the money to buy booze and there was none left for him or his sister. He loved nice things; clothing, shoes, furniture, and cars. He looked forward to trying out a new club or shopping at the latest Prada collection show. Since he hadn't received these items as a child, he'd learned at an early age, that he would have to give them to himself. There were few real celebrations in his home; therefore he had had to develop his own brand of celebrating his life or accepting his failures. Of course, he often used to celebrate with booze, but that was no longer on the table.

As he worked through the program, he was beginning to understand more about his life. He'd been replacing his parent's affection with booze and objects. He hid his feelings in the bottle, just like his parents. His parents didn't express love or much less like for each other or their children. He'd been told many times that he should never have been born, that his mother should have aborted him. His drinking was beginning to make sense. He'd learned more at his parent's home than he realized. He used to celebrate by drinking and he hadn't thought about any other ways to mark the good things in his life.

When he was drinking, he didn't have to worry about what people thought about him. He didn't have to seek their approval. He was the "Stud of Liberty Avenue" and everyone wanted a chance to get in his bed. Of course, he didn't go to Woody's or Babylon anymore, so he'd lost that identity. People on the street didn't whisper about the backroom or his 9-inch cock and how sex with Brian Kinney was an honor. His life had been built around Babylon and tricking.

He had to rethink his life and how he wanted to live it. He had been given the green light regarding Gus, so he was not as worried about Lindsay and her reaction to his news, but Michael was a different matter. The more he thought about Michael, the more he accepted that if it weren't for Michael taking him home when he was too drunk or high to drive, he wouldn't have much in common with him. He owes Michael a lot, but could their relationship change to one where Michael taking care of Brian wasn't the primary glue that kept them together?

He yawned and decided that sleep was the primary important activity at this time. He got ready for bed, realizing that the pull from the empty liquor cabinet had been minimal. He hoped that would be the same tomorrow night when he got to Woody's or Babylon.

In the morning, he went to the diner for breakfast. Ted and Emmett were in the booth, but Michael had not arrived.

"Tonight's the night, ladies," Brian said as he slid into the booth.

"Oh, you are going to pop the question? Who's the lucky man?" Emmett teased.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Brian?" Ted asked, caution in his voice.

"It won't get easier and I miss my playground," Brian said.

"Anything I can do?" Ted asked. He understood the struggles Brian was facing. While he was not the "Stud" that Brian was, the bars were a big part of his life before he got clean.

"Keep Michael occupied. I'm going to go see him at lunch and tell him about my sobriety. I think he'll have a hard time believing this is what I want and I can see him trying to get me to drink or use tonight."

"Sure thing, Brian," Ted said. He took a sip of his coffee and stirred it a little.

"Of course, sweetie, Michael can be a little dense at times. Did I tell you how proud I am of you, Brian? What you're doing is so impressive," Emmett said as he took a bite of his pancakes. Emmett seemed to eat every carb on the menu and never gain an ounce. Brian watched with a mixture of envy and disgust as he poured what seemed like a pint of syrup on the remaining pancakes before taking another bite.

"Impressive is earning a Clio for an ad. This is just life," Brian said, dismissing the hard work and introspection that he'd done in the last month. He knew he'd never thought so much about his life prior to going to AA. Of course, he had never cared about his life until it almost wasn't there.

Michael came into the diner and slid next to Brian. He waved at Debbie, the waitress who was also his mom.

"Pancakes and bacon for me. I'll have some coffee too," Michael said, not even using a please or thank you.

"Please and thank you would go a long way, Michael," Debbie chastised her son.

Michael rolled his eyes and said, "Please."

Debbie huffed and left to put in his order.

"Brian, I'm so excited about tonight. I can't wait to go to Woody's and shoot some pool and then to Babylon. I bet Anita is eager to see you back. I'm sure her profits have gone way down since you stopped hitting Babylon."

Brian cringed when he heard Micahel's diatribe, but chose to ignore it for now. He wanted to have the conversation without all of Liberty Avenue hearing about his business. He finished his last bite of egg white omelet and said, "Gotta go, ladies. I have a meeting in less than half an hour." Brian picked up his bill, glanced cursorily at it and laid down a $20.00 bill. Ted wondered why he looked at the bill as he always paid with a $20.00 and Michael envied him that he had so much money all the time.

Brian went to Kinnetik and worked until lunchtime. He told Cynthia he'd be gone for a while but didn't tell her where he was going. This wasn't unusual so she didn't think anything about his leaving.

Brian walked down to Red Cape Comics and glanced at the people on the street. He typically didn't people watch, but today he was more aware. He attributed his people watching to his upcoming conversation. Last night as he was laying in bed, closing his eyes to let Morpheus take over, he thought about the masks that people wear every day and how others see them. He wondered if people would change their thoughts about him after tonight. He was still the "Stud of Liberty Avenue", but would be the stud without the booze and the drugs? Were the booze and the drugs part of his persona? He could still party hard at night and still make it to work the next day, despite the hangover.

Now he made it to work early and was very productive. He rarely worked late, but that might be due to the need to attend an AA meeting every night. He corrected himself as he continued to walk the sidewalk toward the comic shop. He was productive because he wasn't hungover when he got to work. He no longer needed 3 cups of coffee to jolt his system or to clear it of the toxins from the night before. He was able to work from the time he got to work until he needed to leave. He felt better, both physically and mentally since he stopped drinking and he found he slept better too. He realized that he liked the new Brian Kinney.

He walked into the shop and there was no one around. It was late for lunch, after 1:30, and anyone who would stop in during the typical lunch hour would be back at work. It was too early for the after school crowd as well. He'd timed his arrival for just this time so he and Michael would not be interrupted. Michael heard the familiar jingle of the door and came from the stockroom.

"Brian…. Everything okay? Not used to you dropping in the shop in the middle of the afternoon," Michael said as he walked back toward the storeroom. He walked to the mini-fridge and grabbed a Coke for himself and a bottle of water for Brian. After handing Brian the water, he popped the top of the Coke and sat behind the register on the tall bar stool.

"I came to talk to you," Brian said. He thought he had everything figured out before he walked in the store, but now he seemed to stumble over his thoughts.

"Brian, you're scaring me. Tell me what is going on."

"It's about tonight. I won't be drinking or doing any of Anita's drugs."

"I don't understand. I know you haven't been to the bars for a while, but you look fine. Has the doctor got you on some weird medicine? It's never stopped you before."

"No, Mikey. I'm not taking any medication and I'm fine. I just don't drink or do drugs anymore," Brian said. Telling Ted and Emmett had been much easier than this conversation. Telling Michael seemed like telling a child. He knew he would have to spell it all out for him.

"What do you mean you don't drink or do drugs? Since when? I've known you since we were 14 and ever since your junior year in high school, you've been drinking or popping something. What happened to you? Are you sick? Are you dying?" Michael rushed Brian from behind the counter and gave him a bear hug.

"No, I'm not sick and I'm not dying. In fact, it is just the opposite. Now that I'm not drinking or doing drugs, I feel like a new person," Brian said. He took a sip of his water, waiting for his words to sink into Mikey's brain.

"What? Repeat what you just said, Brian. I'm sure you did not say that you are no longer drinking or doing drugs," Michael said.

"Yep. You heard right. I haven't been going to the bars so I could stay away from the booze," Brian said. He watched Mikey try to process this information. It would have been funny if it had not been so serious. Mikey looked like a fish as he opened and closed his mouth multiple times.

"So what happened? I can't believe you just gave up booze and drugs. Did you get arrested? Is this some legal shit? If so, maybe Carl can help you out." It seemed that Michael was still in his rescue mode when it came to Brian's well-being. Even when Brian was telling him that he was fine and felt great, Michael felt he needed fixing as he was changing the way he normally did things.

"Mikey, no legal shit, No one is making me do this. I'm doing it all on my own. Well, Gus has something to do with it, but this is for me."

Michael nodded his head, but he didn't really understand. "So, are we still on for tonight? I can't wait to go to Babylon and Woody's and have a few beers as we shoot some pool and watch you pick up tricks," Michael said.

"Michael, What part of I won't be drinking did you not understand? I'll be dancing and picking up tricks, but there will be no drinking or visits to Anita."

Michael looked at Brian and nodded his head again. "Okay. Have it your way. I'll still be enjoying a few beers. What's Babylon without the beer?"

Brian did not have time to go into a discussion of sobriety nor did he really want to do that. He put down the Iron Man Pez dispenser that he'd been fidgeting with and left to return to Kinnetik.

When he returned, he saw Ted's door was open and he knocked on the door. Ted looked up and waved at him.

"What can I do for you, Bri?"

"I just talked to Michael or should I say talked at Michael. The man is as dense as a steel door. I told him I wouldn't be drinking or visiting Anita and his first words after that statement was that he couldn't wait to shoot some pool and share a few beers," Brian said as he ran his hand through his hair. He had enough product in it for nothing to be out of place after his move. He frowned deeply, the tiny crow's feet barely visible by the corner of his eye. "I have one persona, "Stud of Liberty Avenue" and Michael can't seem to wrap his head around that I might change."

"So what's your plan?" Ted asked. He was afraid that Michael would react like that and he wanted Brian to think ahead. Planning for contingencies was a great strategy for sobriety.

"My plan?" Brian asked as he moved to close the door and sit in one of Ted's blue office chairs. The chairs were a standard design, with no obvious amenities as Ted rarely had people in his office. Most of the meetings he had involved numerous people and were held in one of the three conference rooms in the building. Brian stared at the picture of the Sydney Opera house that Ted had hanging on the right side of his desk. Its placement allowing him to view the magnificent architecture and think about the amazing Operas that were performed in its walls.

Ted had been holding a file and he placed it on the desk. Looking at Brian, he said, " Yes, a plan. Based on your conversation with Michael, he apparently doesn't believe you when you told him that you are not going to drink or visit Anita. You have to be ready for him to push you to do those things."

"We just talked about the roles people play in our addiction and the first person I thought about was Michael. Michael's role is my caregiver, or the fancy term, Enabler. He thinks it is his responsibility to make sure that I get home from the bars intact and that he watches out for me. If I'm not drinking, I don't need him to do that."

Ted nodded his head. "I'd have to say I agree with you. Michael is always touting himself as your best friend, but it has always struck me wrong that a best friend would not intervene when their friend was literally getting wasted right in front of them. Obviously, a friend would intervene on any occasion when the person imbibed too much, but Michael encourages your behavior."

"Exactly. I was telling Justin, he's my sponsor, that Michael's role would disappear if I wasn't drinking. He wouldn't need to make excuses for my behavior since I would be totally aware of everything I did."

"That is great insight, Brian. Typically, when a person gets sober, they stop hanging out with the people that they used drugs or drank with. Since I don't see you ending your friendship with Michael, I ask you again, what is your plan?"

Brian rubbed his hand over his face several times and darted his eyes around Ted's office. In addition to the Sydney Opera House, there was a beautiful wall hanging of the New York Metropolitan Opera house on the other side of Ted's desk and behind his desk was a large abstract painting with yellows, blues, and green brush strokes. Brian had always liked that painting and he realized that he was more observant of art since he'd met Justin. Thinking of Justin, he smiled, knowing Justin would be proud of him right now as he was talking to people about his recovery. This was an important step and one he'd been avoiding.

"For now, I'm asking you and Emmett to watch him/ us. If he starts suggesting I should imbibe in either one, just distract him or get Emmett to pull me on the dance floor. I anticipate that I'll be so happy to be playing in my playground that I won't be doing much surveying around the bar."

"I can do that. I know Emmett is on board. For what it's worth, Brian, I'm sorry." Ted said. He picked up the cup of coffee that was on his desk and took a sip.

"Sorry's bullshit," Brian said, repeating his all too familiar mantra.

"Brian, whatever you want to believe, but in this instance, I am truly sorry that Michael isn't at your back. But I imagine that his response was not unexpected."

Brian nodded in agreement. "I've got a project to review before I have to leave tonight. I've taken enough time today to deal with Michael." Brian stood up and left the room.

Ted was pleased that Brian had come to him. He would do everything in his power to see that his friend's foray back into his favorite playground was a success.

TBC