Do I have a cool, secret-agent vibe or am I being a manipulative piece of shit? Sean wonders when Claire asks them to stay for dinner. He insists that they can't, that it's too much trouble, that they just showed up out of nowhere—but this was his plan all along. He knew Claire would ask. He knows Claire will insist. And so he and Daniel stay for dinner.

As Sean volunteers to set the table, he's torn between two motivations.

One, he legit feels like he was a dick when they stayed here back in 2016. He was a fugitive from the law, and Claire and Stephen risked a lot by taking him and Daniel in. They probably literally saved Daniel's life when he got sick, and then they went on to raise him after Sean went to jail. That's big, and Sean never told them thank you, not really. And if Claire had a lot of rules so the cops wouldn't come beating down the door, then she probably wasn't the controlling monster Sean thought she was when he was sixteen.

And, two, he knows that if he plays the good, polite grandson, he can get Claire to open up. Sean is only 80% sure Mom stayed in Arizona in this timeline, and, while he remembers her phone number and could just call her, he would rather not have to explain that to Daniel. Claire and Stephen might know something that would confirm Mom's whereabouts. But there's also Mom's room upstairs.

The room isn't much, but Daniel literally knows nothing about Mom. He used to keep a box labeled Mom Stuff under his bed that he thought Sean didn't know about, so maybe if Daniel could see her room, see her stuff, it might mean something to him.

Maybe Daniel would appreciate it. Thank Sean for bringing him here. Then Sean would be close to his brother again.

Still, Sean feels greasy as he pretends not to know where the plates are or exactly how Claire wants the place settings.

After he shreds lettuce and cheese for a salad, he asks what else he can do, and Claire tells him that he's a very helpful young man, but she can handle dinner without him. "Why don't you sit on the couch with your brother and grandfather? I think he's showing Daniel an old photo album from his firefighter days."

"Sure," Sean says, wondering if he maybe overdid the helpfulness, and for a moment he leans on the back of the couch, listening to his brother laugh at Stephen's stories. It's cool to see the two of them bonding, and Sean wonders if this is what they did in that other life.

It's weird, Sean realizes, as he looks around the living room. In that other timeline, this is where Daniel is growing up. This house has five years of his brother's life that Sean missed because he was in prison.

When they came here that December after Dad died, they were desperate. They were cold and sick and hungry. But the week they spent here . . . it was good. But also cruel. Because Sean got used to being warm. And fed. And not having to be the adult. And, just for a moment, he let himself believe that he could live here. That maybe Grandma and Grandpa could adopt him and make the cop not be dead or the gas station asshole not be "assaulted" and he could finish growing up.

But . . . that was never going to happen.

Sean Diaz never gets to be a normal kid.

He doesn't want anyone to ask why his eyes are pink—Daniel probably suspects he's on drugs or something already—so he walks over to the glass door, studies the back yard. He thinks he's keeping himself together until he looks into the neighbor's yard and sees Chris's treehouse.

Chris was this awkward, little dork running around in a make-shift superhero costume when they met. Sean hasn't actually seen Chris since that December five years ago, but in the other life, Chris is Daniel's best friend. Like, half of Daniel's stories are actually Chris stories. Daniel wouldn't have been able to handle everything without his friendship with Chris.

And Sean can't get the look of Chris's dad Charles out of his head.

He looked bad. Real bad. Like never-got-over-the-loss-of-his-wife bad.

And that tattoo on his arm sure looks like the type you get when someone dies.

And it sure looked like there were two names underneath it.

# # #

Dinner is lasagna with garlic bread and a salad. It is amazing how Claire just had the ingredients to make this lying around. Like, Dad cooks, sure, but it is usually an event. Most of the time they survive on takeout or frozen pizzas.

Claire keeps insisting that Sean and Daniel refill their plates until Sean feels like his stomach is swelling. Stephen is a never-ending story machine. And it's striking just how nice both of them are.

It's not that they were mean when Sean met them while on the run, but things were . . . tense, at times. Was it Sean himself? Like, as much as he didn't want the responsibility, it sucked to be stripped of his independence so suddenly, and he was a shithead about it. Or was it because Claire and Stephen were much more stressed out about breaking the law than they let on?

But without all that baggage, they're so happy to have their grandsons here. They were pretty cool when Sean was little. He remembers being real excited to see his grammy and pop-pop. It's sad that Claire and Stephen missed most of Sean's life. And all of Daniel's.

Suddenly, Sean's phone vibrates. It's his father: Did you make it to Claire and Stephens?

"I need to excuse myself," Sean says, holding up the phone. "It's Dad." He walks around the corner to sit at the bottom of the stairs, and he can still pick out bits of Stephen, Claire, and Daniel's conversation. Sean texts back: Yeah dad we made it.

Daniel doing good with his grandparents?

Yeah hes taking a real liking to Stephen. Everything is good. Can I ask you a quick question? Why did you not keep in touch with them?

Son that is not a quick question

Haha I know but you can give me the short answer its cool

The phone screen shows that Dad is typing for a long time. Your mom didn't get along with her parents. I didn't either. They didn't like me. It was hard to keep in touch even when your mom was here. They are good people but some of the things they believe I didn't want to expose you to.

Do you mean the Christianity and the low key racism?

Have they said something to you or Daniel?

Haha no but I remember you telling me not to call Claire abuelita and there is kind of a vibe that me and Daniel are two of the GOOD Mexicans.

I am holding back many of my words right now

Don't worry about it they are mostly cool. I get how white people are I have white friends at school. Also I dunno if you know this but im half white

Well I am surprised but I love you anyway hijo

Haha love you too pops

As Sean slides the phone back into his jeans pocket and steps back into the dining room, he catches Daniel posing with his grandparents for a selfie.

And that makes Sean smile.

It's good to see this moody, possibly-depressed teenager act like his goofy kid brother again. But it's also weird, how much they look like a happy family, which is what they are in that other life. While Sean and their mother bristled at Claire, Daniel never did.

It's Sean who pushed things. It's Sean who called Lyla and brought the cops to the door. It's Sean who ran away. Like his mom.

Maybe Sean should have left Daniel here in that other life. Made a break for the border, drawn all the heat and left Daniel out of it. Maybe Daniel would just have a better life without him.

Max said he's playing with forces he doesn't understand. Even Sarah said he can't put things back the way they were.

"Hey, Sean," Daniel says, spying him in the doorway. "Come over here. Let's get a picture with Grandma and Grandpa."

"Okay, enano," Sean says. "Sure."

# # #

After dinner, Stephen takes Daniel upstairs to show him the model trains, but Sean insists on helping Claire with the dishes. She gushes with appreciation about it. "Your father must have done one heck of a job raising you," she says.

"Well, I can't imagine how bad life would be without him," Sean says. He sets a plate in the dish rack to dry then picks up another to scrub.

"It must have been hard for him raising two boys alone," Claire says, drying the dish with a towel before setting it in a cabinet.

"So . . ." Sean starts carefully, "I know you don't want to talk about my mom, but if I remember right, her room is upstairs. I think it would be nice if you showed it to Daniel."

"Sean, it's just a room now. It's full of junk."

"Daniel doesn't remember our mom," Sean says. "It might help him feel, I dunno, like he has some understanding."

"I told you I don't want to talk about this."

"I know," Sean says, drying his hands on a towel. He leans on the counter. "But you can. I know my mom abandoned you too. And if anyone can understand how much it hurts to get abandoned by Karen Reynolds, it's me."

"It isn't just that I lost my daughter," Claire says "It's what she did to you and your brother, too. I don't blame Esteban for not keeping us in your lives. But I blame your mother. By her leaving, she took our grandsons from us too. And I do not understand how she could leave you like that. As a mother, I don't get it. It makes me so angry at her."

"I'm not trying to start an argument. I get it. But what does that anger get you? I have spent most of my life being angry with her. And even if I think that she left because she needed to, I still don't . . . I don't know if she gets how much it hurt me. It still hurts that she left," Sean says, and his voice cracks because he did not realize this pain was still there. He and his mom talked. They reconciled. He even thought he understood her choices. But it doesn't change the fact that he was an eight-year-old kid who woke up one morning, and his mama was gone forever. It's a scar that maybe can't fully heal. "I understand sometimes people need to put themselves first, but I guess that doesn't change that it hurts for the people who get put second."

Claire doesn't say anything, but she puts her arms around him. And he doesn't say anything either, is just grateful for the hug from his grandmother. "Anyway, just think about it. Okay?" he says.

"Okay," she says. "But I have to ask you a serious question, Sean. How do you know your mother wants to see you?"

"I just know," he says, trying to hide his grin. Except . . . he doesn't know, does he?

In that other life, it took their Dad dying for Mom to reach out to them. And even then, she just sent a letter asking Claire and Stephen to look out for him and his brother. It took his brother getting abducted by a cult and Sean being left for dead for Karen to actually show up and reconnect with them. She said she wanted to reach out before . . . but she didn't. It took fucking extreme circumstances for her to choose to come back into their lives.

What if Claire is right? What if Mom doesn't want to see them?

What will that do to Daniel?

And, Sean wonders, what will it do to him?