Original Publishing Date: 12-04-19
Author Note: Here it is! After three days and a lot of concentration to make up for the procrastination it took to get this bad boy written well, here is my extraordinarily overdue birthday gift for my extremely beloved kiddo, Bethany! Beth, I am incredibly proud of you, and you astound me every single day with how creative, kind, funny, and original you are. I am honored to be your adoptive mother. Ma adores you!
It was a cruel and unusual form of punishment to subject a man to going on a triple date that involved his mortal enemy. This fact was only worsened by the truth that there was not even a dating partner for either of them to balance out their rival's presence, but neither of them could bear to let down the two very special women in their lives to implored them to tag along with them and two other mutual friends.
"Oh my gosh, look at that absolute unit!" Maria gasped as she looked up at the much anticipated 'ride of the year' that had made its way all the way to the New York state fair, a roller coaster that was coined 'Bermuda's Vortex' that featured a 500 ft. drop and just over 8,000 feet of track, all of which was combined to sharp turns, multiple loops, and a section enclosed in a pitch-black tunnel. "Who's going to go on it with me?"
"Not me," Eliza said quickly, her face rosy and eyes wide as she gazed up at the towering attraction. "I don't do 'upside down.'"
"Besides, look at that line!" Angelica agreed, gesturing to the hoard of people teeming out of the designated roped area and expanding as far as they could see. "That's at least a three hour wait!"
"It matters not!" Lafayette chirped, grabbing Maria's hand and beginning to march toward the crowd. "We will wait all day if we must!"
"Slow your role there, Frenchie!" Angelica called after him, her hand securely holding her sister's as she hurried after the two adrenaline junkies. "I'm not interested in spending the day away from my girlfriend!"
Alexander watched all of them from a small distance, smiling to himself as they teased and called after each other. He always felt like a bit of outsider, even among his beloved friend group, but he didn't really mind. He'd spent his entire life learning how to get close, but not too close, and how to enjoy simply being around those he loved rather than intimately interlocking his identity within them. It would undoubtedly sound morbid and pessimistic to a more romantic person, but he'd learned at the tender age of ten that getting overly attacked to anyone only led to heartbreak and recovery that took long for his liking. This was the best for everyone, even if he didn't know if anybody else truly understood his reasoning.
"Come on, Hamilshit! You can do it! You can do it, little guy!" His serene thoughts were shattered by the ever-smug bastard known as Thomas Jefferson, who was walking backwards and bent down to insinuate he was talking to a child. "Come on!"
"Very original, Jefferbitch," Alexander scoffed in response. "Do you have any more 'witty insults' for me? Maybe you'll come up with something original while you're using that hat rack underneath your tangled-up mop of hair."
"You're just jealous mine looks better than yours on a bad day than yours ever will," Jefferson retorted. "Now get your skinny ass in gear, we don't run on island time."
"Wow, an actually witty joke! Good job!" Alex mocked in a patronizing tone that was similar to the one his enemy had originally spoken to him with. "But you can fuck right off, you racist twat."
"Boys, don't make me put you in time out!" Eliza called from over her shoulder with a frown.
"Yes Betsey!" Alex called in a much kinder voice, jogging to catch up but making sure to subtly shove Jefferson with his shoulder on his way past him.
That was how they'd been less than three hours ago. Now, they were up at the front of the line for Bermuda's Vortex, and Alexander was sure his eyes would fall out if had to roll them one more time. If Jefferson was insufferable when they were trailing after each other and waiting in shorter lines, he only grew worse over the course of them waiting for the most popular attraction by far, and the immigrant honestly had to commend himself for not outright punching the ass. Eliza, true to her word, was avoiding the attraction and had only been occasionally checking in from where she'd been playing all kinds of fair games (and absolutely conquering most them, even the rigged ones, to all of their delights), so she had not been able to mediate almost whatsoever between the two bitter rivals.
"Are you sure you'll meet the height requirement?" Jefferson sneered now, patronizingly ruffling his hair. "You're practically a child anyway."
"If they'll let a pile of horse shit on, they won't have anything to worry about with me," he shot back bitterly. "Now shut your ass up before I-"
"Before you what?" Jefferson demanded with a barked laugh. "Do it for me? Don't go biting off more than you can chew, little man!"
"Will you two shut up?!" Angelica snapped from behind them, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at them both with so much venom that it made them shrink back a little. "I can't take it anymore! You're both overgrown boys! I can't listen to another fucking word of it! If you don't have anything nice or productive to say to each other, don't say anything, for the love of God!"
Even if her execution was crude and made the parents on either of them shoot her Looks, it was effective in getting them to cease their squabbling. Almost as if she'd been cued, Eliza came back up to them all on the other side of rope, her arms open to take their bags and loose items as per usual. As she arranged the items, one of the coasters pulled back up and the riders unloaded.
"Are you sure you're alright down here?" Lafayette asked with a fond smile. "People have been cutting in all day; it would not be a big deal~"
"I don't have a death wish like the rest of you," she replied before giving him a gentle kiss. "You five have fun."
The gates swung open and the next twenty-two people began to load up. Thanks to the uneven number of their own party, one of the ride attendants turned back toward the crowd and called out into his megaphone, "Do we have any single riders?!"
"Hey! We have one right here!" One of the other attendants quipped, pointing to Eliza before gesturing for her to board.
She looked just as confused as Alexander felt, but then he glanced down and realized that she had, in fact, been standing in a lane specifically for single riders that they'd all missed thanks to the crowd overflowing. He was expecting her to excuse herself, but much to his and everyone else's shock, she hesitated only for a moment before nodding decisively and plopping their things in the designated area before scrambling beside her boyfriend.
"Whoa, Betsey!" Alex exclaimed, not without amusement. "You're taking on this beast after all?"
"I have to conquer my fears one day, right?" Eliza replied with a grin that was full of excitement and fear.
"Hell yes, ma amour!" Lafayette cheered, planting a clumsy kiss on her cheek and squeezing her hand tightly. "On ne vit qu'une fois!"
Alexander grinned back at them, but the positive feeling didn't last. With her aboard, the only other open spot was right next to Thomas, who looked about as disgusted as he felt. A variety of insults and taunts came to mind to throw his way, but Angelica's word echoed in mind, and he simply sank into the seat with a resigned huff. After all, this ride was only going to be about four minutes long, and then he could go right back to sneering at and ignoring the prissy Virginian.
"Finally warming up to me, I see." Jefferson smirked down at him as the ride attendants checked their restraints. "I knew you had in it in you to see reason~"
"I've seen reason all along, you southern-fried idiot," Alex spit back, unable to help himself yet again. "Maybe the ride will malfunction and you can finally be erased from this otherwise tolerable world."
Maybe he would've said something else, but the countdown at the top of the holding area began to beep its descent, so they mutually settled for making faces in opposite directions of each other. Even though he knew it was coming directly after the 'one', Alexander couldn't help but scream in a mixture of terror and delight as their machine took off, throwing him back into his seat so abruptly that it hurt. He yelled along with everyone in front and behind him as the ride began twisting, turning, looping, and making two of the four long climbs before speeding down with even more vigor than the initial takeoff. Even if his fight-or-flight response made him grip on tightly to the handlebars and shriek with all his worth, he was thrilled to be on such an incredibly intense ride to balance out having to sit next to someone he despised so much, and he was having a lot of fun regardless.
He was taking the anticipatory third ascent to catch his breath a bit when the loudly clacking chains began to rumble even more loudly, much more so that what sounded normal. He stole a glance at his carmate, whose eyebrows were creased as the wide grin across his face began to noticeably fade. They'd just made eye contact as they got to the very top of the peek, and they just as quickly were forced to look ahead as they begin a rapid descent that stopped so abruptly that they could hear metal screeching and gears popping as they were all pitched forward extremely sharply. Smoke filled the air rapidly thereafter along with screams, one of which included Thomas's.
That would've been funny in any other situation, but Alexander's collarbone and right shoulder felt completely, painfully numb. He instinctually went to move it, but the next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes again and biting back shrieks as excruciating pain ripped through the area into the rest of his body. There was absolutely no doubt about it; something was broken, and they were stuck. Behind him, he could hear Eliza hyperventilating and Gilbert softly talking in French to try and soothe her. He wondered if she had anything broken herself, but he was in no hurry to reignite the Hellish pain, even if he was concerned about his friends.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are so sorry for the delay, but we seem to be having technical malfunctions." The voice of the intercoms surrounding the ride was cheerful, a sharp contrast to how everybody aboard was feeling. "Please remain seated and in your seats until we are able to resolve this issue. We thank you for your patience and cooperation."
"WE NEED HELP!" A female voice shouted from somewhere before Alex. "MY SON! WE NEED HELP! HE'S HURT, DAMNIT!"
"We're all hurt!" An irritable man snapped from where behind him.
"MY SON ISN'T BREATHING!" The female voice sobbed. "HE ISN'T BREATHING, WE NEED HELP!"
Fear pulsed through Alexander, filling him up with a deep sense of dread and familiar horror that greeted him like an old friend. People screaming. Buildings and property destroyed. It was hard not to think of the hurricane that ravaged his island and stripped his island barren, and yet he forced himself to take deep breaths and calm down. There was no time for panic now, not yet. He was an adult, not a terrified teenager with an existing death wish. He had a career to live for and others who were far more in need than himself.
"You fucking idiot, did you not hear the announcement?!" Jefferson hissed sharply as Alexander began to fumble clumsily with his restraints. "Do you want your ass to get flattened on the concrete?!"
"If her son isn't breathing, somebody has to do something!" Alexander snapped back in a strong voice. "Somebody has to do something, you selfish prick!"
Getting the gears off was going to be no easy task without both of his hands and shoulders. He had only managed to tangle up one of the seatbelts on his left side when his hand was smacked sharply, causing him to snap his head up and glare at Jefferson with all the venom he could convey.
"Listen here, you motherfu-"
"I'm not going to have your death on my conscience, asshole! Sit your ass down!" Jefferson hissed back with the same amount of conviction.
Alexander certainly didn't want to obey, especially not coming from Jeffershit, but it was clear that the pair just behind the woman and her son had begun to undo themselves and help, so he reluctantly sank back into position. The minutes passed like molasses, every second feeling like torture now as he tried not to focus too heavily on the growing pain in his body. He watched crowds of people gathering nearby, staring up at the famous ride and undoubtedly talking amongst themselves, and he wondered if they could be feeling any of the fear that the riders did. Everybody was undoubtedly shocked, and as more time crawled by, the tension in the air and in the voices of those who were still talking only grew.
"This is fucking ridiculous," Alex finally said with a huff. "I'm sure you can at least agree with me on that."
As he looked over to his riding partner, he was admittedly surprised by the expression of pure pain on his face. Jefferson was not one to be easily affected by just about anything, so it was very odd to see him looking so colorless and with veins practically bulging from his face. More of out of instinct than actual concern (at least, that's what he told himself it was), the immigrant gently lowered his hand over the other man's, causing said man to jump and flinch as though he'd been popped in the face.
"What's your deal?" Alexander asked bluntly but not cruelly.
"My deal, Hamilcrap, is that we're stuck one on of the tallest rollercoasters in the world, and this hunk of junk could jumpstart at any moment and hurt us all even more!" Jefferson- Thomas- snapped, but his most prominent feeling was given away with his dilated pupils and frantic glances.
"You're hurt, too?" Alex asked a bit more carefully.
"…Yeah. I think I've got whiplash or something."
Alexander nodded silently. There was certainly a comment that could be made about how broken bones and someone not breathing were far worse than whiplash, no matter how severe, but he decided to keep it to himself for a change. Their fighting was not going to make this situation any better, and it wasn't worth the energy or the inevitable guilt that would come while kicking a man while he was down. The two of them sat in their own silence for several more minutes, long enough for the sun to have noticeably sank in the sky, before it was broken by the announcement that finally came from down below.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your assigned seats and refrain from leaning out of the vehicle. Bermuda Vortex is currently out of service, and your restraints will be lifted shortly. Help is on the way, so please, remain calm. We thank you for your patience and cooperation."
"Help on the way? What are they going to do, make us climb a ladder down?" Thomas scoffed, but it was not hard to tell that the thought was worse than their current situation in his mind.
"No, they have equipment for this, dumbass," Alex replied with no real contempt behind his words. "They're going to raise a big platform for us to climb on, and they'll escort us down and to the ambulances or whatever."
"Alex? Tommy?" Eliza's voice called out. "Are you two okay?"
"Not great, Betsey, but making it!" Alex called back with a tight smile despite not turning to face her.
"Y-yeah, same…" She managed, her own voice edged by pain. "Everything is going to be alright, you guys. We're all going to be fine."
As the metal restraints all began to lift up, a few people screamed, and a fresh sob erupted from someone. Another female voice that Alexander recognized easily- Maria- rang out directly thereafter. "She's right, everyone! We're all going to remain calm because…Because we're all going to sing!"
"Yeah right, lady!" The same heckling male voice retorted.
Alexander was about to fie something back in response to the jerk's audacity, but Thomas beat him to it, his own face tightening with something more than terror. "You bet your damn ass she's right! MAMA, JUST KILLED A MAN~"
"PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD!" Alex chimed in just as loudly, somewhat to spite the heckler, somewhat to encourage Maria, and a little bit to support Thomas's decent response. "PULLED MY TRIGGER NOW HE'S DEAD!"
Slowly, then all at once, the other nineteen decent people joined in the song, and it was not long before a full chorus of Queen appreciators and fans were signing at the tops of their lungs to combat the coldness nipping in the air as well as the complete horror of the situation they were all in together. Somebody pulled out a phone and began recording, and by the time they reached the climax of the song, somebody from below had the official recording of the tape blasting through the speakers. Alex even bounced a little in his seat as he stamped his feet and mimicked a microphone with his hand for Thomas, who responded with just as much energy. As the song faded and a new one began, everybody erupted into cheers, whistles and laughter, most of the coiled tension evaporated, and the Caribbean found himself leaning unconsciously into his rival as they relaxed back into their cart. By the time he realized what he was doing, he didn't bother to move in order to avoid binging more attention to it, and miraculously, Jefferson didn't say or do a thing about it, either.
The platform had finally arrived and was getting people down by the time the sun was well into setting, causing a fresh wave of cheers and sighs of relief. Thomas reached over and wordlessly undid Alexander's restraints, and when a fireman reached for the Virginian and said man hesitated, Alex used his good hand to give him a gentle, encouraging pat on the backside.
"We've done crazier shit today," he said kindly. "You can step two feet over onto the thing."
When it was his turn, Alexander stumbled over himself thanks to another sharp wave of pain, but Thomas was just as quick as he'd been with helping hands. As a matter of fact, Jefferson's hands didn't quite leave his sides until they were fully back on the ground and being received tearfully by their other friends, and even then, the two of them had no more cruel words or snide sneers for the remainder of the day, no matter how much pain or exhaustion or emotions they displayed shamelessly.
Perhaps, Alexander even allowed himself to consider once they were finally discharged from hospital and allowed to eat their ordered food, the trip had not been a complete disaster after all.