CHAPTER 25

(EVA)

Three days later…

I open my eyes and look towards the sleeping figure beside me, then I look at my finger. I can't believe that this really is my life now, a beautiful home but still close to my gran and mum, but also a world away from the life I had in my pokey flat on Primrose Hill. I think about Gideon proposing and then I cringe at how I had shit all over it when I wanted to talk about the letter from Nathan. But Gideon had been so understanding, so accepting and then Maisie had totally blown me away when she asked Gideon if she could call him dad. I sometimes have to tell myself this isn't all a dream, that this really is my life now, this is actually real and happening and that I'm not going to wake up shortly and find out none of it has really happened.

This makes me all the more determined to use the visiting order to go and see Nathan and finally be done with him. I think about all that has happened in such a relatively short amount of time since I met Gideon, how he has been reunited with his mum, is now having a better relationship with his dad and is getting to know his half brothers and sister.

Gideon called his mum and dad and told them he had asked me to marry him and his mum was so happy for us, she cried and squealed with happiness down the phone. He had also spoken to his half siblings and they had all congratulated him, even Ricky who is gradually coming around and releasing all his fears and insecurities. Christopher and Ireland were delighted about the news, they and Gideon have quickly become quite close, and I know they often exchange texts and have video chats. His dad was also pleased when Gideon told him, Geoff's reaction was more reserved but he too said he was pleased for us. I glance at the alarm clock at the side of me and sigh, it's Monday morning again and time to start getting up and getting Maisie ready for school, and yet now I don't feel the sense of numbing despair anymore that I used to feel when I woke up every morning. I realise now that I was just sleepwalking through life up to the point I met Gideon. I had just shut down and wasn't living I was just existing and the only reason I carried on existing was Maisie.

I look at Gideon once more and my heart fills with such love it almost overwhelms me, he is taking me to the prison today and is going to wait for me while I go in and see Nathan and then we are going to go to work. I love him so much and I can be such a bitch at times, my mind goes back to the almighty row we had on Saturday morning when I had gone to Tesco to do the shopping. I had checked my bank balance on my phone app before I went in as I have had so much time off recently and I needed to make sure I had enough money to cover everything I needed to get. I was shocked to discover my current account had £25,000 more in it than should be there and a new account in my name was also visible on the app with £25,000 in it. I had stopped and just stared not knowing what to do, so I had gone and done what I always seem to do and this was go into default bitch mode. My mind goes back to my reaction that morning…

Right then... I pull out my shopping list, Gideon had written down what we needed and I also need a few bits.

"Do you want me to come in with you to help?" Gideon asks from his place in the driving seat, he knows I like to shop alone. I have my routine and I know what I am doing and I like to just get on with it and get out. Maisie is at mums playing with Dec and we will fetch her when we are done.

I shake my head, "I'll be fine, we don't need too much but if I need a hand I'll text you" I say and Gideon nods.

I lean across the seat and press a small kiss to his lips and then get out of the car, as I pull out a trolley I quickly call up my banking app on my phone, the last thing I need is getting to the checkout and not having enough money to pay.

As it opens I stare in disbelief at what I am seeing, my current account which normally hovers precariously near empty most of the time is showing I have £25,063.61 in it, now that is £25,000 more than should be in there and my head whips around to look at the car in the car park. This is Gideon's doing, I had mentioned how worried I was after taking so much time off and he told me not to worry about it. I scroll down to find the transaction button to verify this fact and I am shocked to discover a second account on the app. I stare at it in horror, this shows the amount of £25,000. I nearly drop my phone, he has just handed over a total of £50,000 what the fuck is he playing at?

I turn around and march back to the car and bang on the window, Gideon jumps and winds it down.

"What's up?" he asks, surprise at seeing me back so soon turning to concern at my expression.

"What the fuck is this?" I ask thrusting my phone at him.

Gideon smiles, "You were worried about making ends meet so I thought I'd help you out" he says simply.

I know I can't really say anything as he thought he was doing a nice thing and he made it clear he was going to make a contribution towards things when we were at the flat but £25,000, that is just insane! It makes me feel cheap.

"Ok, but what the hell is this?" I add pointing at the new account.

Gideon does look a little worried about this one, "I wanted you to feel secure Eva, that's all. When I marry you we will open a joint bank account for everyday essentials and household bills. I will keep my own accounts as well and I wanted you to keep your independence by having some money of your own, that's all" he says.

I laugh, "Oh the irony, money of my own, which you have provided!" I sneer.

Gideon looks shocked, and I immediately feel bad for my ungrateful outburst but it is clear he isn't looking at how this seems.

"I was only trying to help" he states again and I hear the hurt tone in his voice. It makes me feel bad but I can't seem to get out of bitch mode.

"Well fucking don't, I won't be a kept woman. Maisie and I have gotten by just fine up to now" I spit at him and I turn and walk away. As I do so guilt consumes me and I feel really bad about what I just said. My guilt gets worse as I walk around Tesco trying to figure out how to make this right.

I wander past the deli counter and see my mum, I pause wondering if I should tell her and then decide against it. She would just tell me to be thankful and stop being so proud and ungrateful. I give her a quick wave as she looks up and she sees me and waves back with a smile.

I move to a quiet corner and call the other person I know who will be totally honest with me, and tell me if I am, as I now suspect over reacting about this. I call my gran; she always manages to make things seem clearer.

"Gran" I almost sob when she answers.

"Eva? What is it hun, what's happened?" she asks the concern evident in her tone.

I quickly outline what Gideon has done and how conflicted I feel about it and to my surprise she just laughs.

"Oh Eva" she says when I have finished.

"What?" I ask a little defensively.

"That poor man was doing something nice for you! You know full well that he is wealthy, you knew that when you got with him. He has just bought a house outright, he runs his own company, well his family's company but he is the one in charge. For god's sake, all he wants to do is take care of you and Maisie. He loves you Eva, so let him. I know you have always had to be the one who took charge, you had to take care of yourself and Maisie, and you grew up far too quickly because of that bastard you got with, he never did anything for either of you. I know you are independent, far too independent at times sweetheart, but don't be stubborn – you said you wanted to start driving lessons and go to the community college to get your GCSE's and maybe some other qualifications after that. That all costs money and as far as I can see Gideon has just made sure you can realise those ambitions, by making sure you have a ready supply of cash to pay for it, that's all. He's not trying to buy you, he's just giving you the resources to make your life better. Look at it like this Eva, wouldn't it be more demeaning if he had held on to the money and paid for you to do these things himself?" she stops speaking to let that sink in and I realise how ungrateful I sounded.

"But I don't want to be a kept woman" I argue as stubbornness takes over once more.

My gran laughs again, "Eva, Gideon wouldn't dare do anything like that, has he told you that you have to give up your job? No he hasn't. If he was trying to make you a kept woman he would have demanded you gave up your job and he wouldn't be encouraging your independence the way he is – and he certainly wouldn't have put a total of £50,000 in your name for you to use as you see fit. He wants you to flourish Eva, he doesn't want to stifle you. He wants you to reach your full potential, the potential that Nathan fucking Barker tried to take from you and nearly succeeded. If anyone tried to control and keep you, he did, he tried to control and stifle you and you damn well know it. Gideon knows he has the resources to help you realise your ambitions and he is using them. I know this all sounds scary as those sums of money are what you could only dream of, but he obviously has it and out of the goodness of his heart he has shared it with you". As I think about what Gran has said I realise in a rush just how unreasonable I am being.

"Thanks gran" I say gratefully.

"Anytime" she replies.

I finish my shopping and push the full trolley back to the car. Part of me is wondering if he is still going to be parked out there after the way I spoke to him. I am more than a little bit relieved when I see the car. Gideon sees me approaching and climbs out, watching me carefully. I let go of the trolley and throw myself into his arms.

"I'm so sorry" I say, as I feel his arms tighten around me.

"I'm sorry too Angel, I should have talked it over with you before I did it, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I was going to tell you about the savings account but you found it before I got chance. I don't want you ever to have to worry about money for anything again. I tried to not go too over the top as I didn't want to overwhelm you" he says.

I nod, "I know, I realise that now and I'm sorry I was a bitch about it" I say.

"While we are at it, I have also set up a savings account for Maisie, it's in my name at present but it's a high interest account for her and I'm just named as her trustee" he says watching my reaction carefully, probably wondering if I am going to yell at him again.

I smile and hug him again, "I really don't deserve you" I mutter as I bury my face in his chest. I feel him relax when he realises I'm not angry about this and realistically how could I be? He wants to be Maisie's dad so he is doing what any dad would do and provide for her.

"Don't talk stupid Eva" he says, he lifts my chin up with his finger and looks directly into my eyes, his gorgeous blue eyes glinting in the sunlight, "You have to start realising we are a team now, it's not just you and Maisie against the world, I am here at your side and that is where I am going to stay" he says…

I am brought back to the here and now by Gideon waking up, and he opens those beautiful blue eyes and looks up at me and smiles.

"Good morning beautiful" he rasps.

"Good morning" I reply and I lean down and place a small kiss to his lips, his arms go around me and he pulls me down and rolls us so he is lying on top of me. I can feel his arousal pressed against me.

I pat his arms, "We don't really have time for this, I have to get Maisie ready for school" I whisper.

"We will make time, but we'll also make it quick" he replies. His voice is muffled as he nuzzles against my neck and peppers it with kisses and I don't have the willpower to argue with him so obediently I part my legs and he settles himself between them. His hands move over my body and mine roam over his, before we know where we are we are both naked. I am gasping for him and he is pushing himself inside me. He reaches down and touches me and I shiver with desire, then quite suddenly he reaches for my hand and pushes it down between us. My fingers touch where we are joined and I feel him thrust into me.

"Feel that Angel" he whispers and I nod, "You and me joined together, body and soul" he mutters and with that he quickens his pace as this was always only meant to be a quickie. He continues to touch me and I feel myself building. He smiles as he feels it too and his pace increases even more.

"Oh god Gideon" I moan as I feel the building of my orgasm. I wrap my legs around him and pull him even deeper and he moves and lifts my hips up and pushes my legs wider so he can get even deeper inside, that slight change in angle pushes me over the edge and I feel myself come around him.

"Oh god!" I gasp and after a couple more thrusts Gideon stills and he holds himself deeply inside me and lets out a long groan. I feel the scorching heat of him as he comes in long deep pulses inside me, then he gathers me up into his arms.

"Angel" he whispers as he buries his head in my neck and holds on to me as if I am a life raft.

oooOOOooo

"Ready?" I turn towards Gideon as I watch Maisie disappear inside into school and I nod. I don't want to go to the prison but then on the other hand I am looking forward to it as it is my chance to finally get Nathan out of my life.

I am armed with plenty of ammunition to throw at him if he tries to cause trouble. Including a story which Maisie wrote in her book and a picture she drew, which I found. I haven't said anything to Gideon about either but I will show them to him once I have let Nathan see them. I was shocked at what Maisie had written, partly as she is only four years old but then it occurred to me she is super clever, if she is reading at the level of an 8 year old then it only goes without saying that her writing would be just as advanced.

The book is a notebook which Gideon had bought her to write down all her thoughts, ideas and anything she wanted in, so I did feel a bit bad when I found it and started reading it as in some ways I felt I was invading her privacy. But it also gave me an insight into what she was thinking. I am aware that by showing this to Nathan he will probably dismiss it as fake as he has no idea of the levels of intelligence Maisie has reached and so I also have the documentation from the assessment in my bag to throw at him. To make him see just how little he knows about his child.

"If you don't want to do this it's fine" Gideon says and I focus my attention on him.

"What?" I ask in confusion and then I realise what I must have looked like, lost in my thoughts.

I shake my head, "No, I was just planning on how I am going to handle this and what I am going to say" I say.

Gideon grips my hand, "As long as you're sure" he replies.

I nod decisively "Yes, I am. I have to do this, come on let's go and get it over with" I say.

"Eva!" I pause and turn at the shout and walking quickly towards me are three mums whose children are in Maisie's class.

"Yes?" I ask a little defensively. I know of them, but have never been on friendly talking terms with them other than to just say hello in passing.

One of the three women looks at the others and steps forward. "Listen, I don't normally like to interfere in anyone else's business, but we all know what you went through with Maisie's dad, and we think you should know that your so called friend has been in contact with Maisie's dad and has been telling him things about you and your new partner" she pauses and nods towards Gideon.

Before I can respond she continues "Not only that we know that she is still planning on trying to come between you both" she pauses again and gestures towards Gideon to emphasise her words.

"You are?" I ask as I look at the woman.

"Karen, Ryan's mum" she says and she turns towards the other two women, "this is Helen and Beth" she adds.

"I'm Sophie's mum" the one called Beth says.

"And I'm Leah's mum" the other says, my eyebrows rise at this.

"Leah, as in Leah Barnes?" I ask warily.

The woman nods, Gideon is watching and not saying a word. "Leah's mum is Meg's cousin" I explain and Gideon nods and turns to the woman.

"So, why suddenly are you so interested in making Eva aware of a situation which we already knew about?" he asks. I know what he is saying, he wants to know if they are just stirring for the sake of it.

Helen and Beth exchange looks but before they can reply Karen speaks.

"Because we all know what Megan is like, she is trouble with a capital T and it is obvious she is jealous as hell of the fact you have got your life together and are doing well and she wants to try and sabotage it. She tried to do the same with me and my partner. She tried to seduce him, he turned her down and she started a campaign of lies to try and split us up, that is how I became friends with Helen, she told me what Megan was like" she says.

I nod "Thank you for telling me, but as Gideon says we already know what she is capable of and are on our guard with her. I have been her friend since we both came here as kids so I know exactly what she is like and capable of" I say bitterly.

Karen smiles at me, "Well, just be careful. You don't deserve it and she seems to be getting almost obsessed with you, it's weird some of the things she has been saying" she says kindly.

"Like what?" I ask.

Karen shoots a look at Helen and she steps in to speak, "She has been saying how did you manage to land someone like him, and that she would be able to take him from you in a heartbeat. When it became obvious, she couldn't and your new partner wasn't interested and made that clear she said she is going to try and set up something to cause problems between you two. I have no idea what she is planning but considering the fact she showed up at Karen's house when she was out and her partner was there and she went to the bedroom got naked and took photos of her clothes on the floor of the bedroom. She took selfies of herself on the bed and she made sure she left some of her underwear for Karen to find… personally I think she is unhinged" she says.

I look at Gideon who is shaking his head and he wraps his arm around me tightly. "Well, she won't have the opportunity to get into our home" he says confidently, "Thank you for telling us all this" he adds.

I nod, "Yeah thanks" I say.

Helen reaches out and touches my arm, "I know it sounds like we are stirring and trying to cause trouble but we are not, if anyone deserves to be happy it's you Eva and we don't want Meg to mess that up for you" she says.

We thank them once more and move towards Gideon's car, once we are inside Gideon turns to face me, "Are they just stirring?" he asks.

I shrug, "I don't know, probably but everyone knows exactly what Meg is like and I do know what Karen said was true - about what happened with Megan and Tony, that's Karen's bloke. What Karen didn't say was that Meg stayed in the bedroom and when Tony walked in there she was sprawled on the bed. He went ballistic and told her to get out and when she went she caused a right scene making out he had fucked her and then chucked her out, it nearly split them up" I say.

Gideon shakes his head, "That girl needs to concentrate on her own life instead of trying to destroy everyone else's" he says.

I nod, "Do you think she really has spoken to Nathan?" I ask, wondering if she is the reason Nathan knows and if so how much he knows and if what she has told him is accurate.

"It wouldn't surprise me" Gideon says as he pulls away from the kerb.

After a fairly uneventful drive we arrive at the prison and I stare up at the dark forbidding structure, there are cameras everywhere. We had to stop at the gate and now as I climb out of the car Gideon pulls me into his arms and holds me.

"Be careful" he says, he presses an earnest kiss to my lips and I give him a brave smile.

"I'll be fine" I say, but I'm not sure if I am trying to convince Gideon or myself of that.

After going through all the security checks and searches all the visitors are led into a small corridor and then through into a large room. I see Nathan immediately lounging in a cheap plastic chair as he sees me he smiles and stands up. Almost immediately a guard calls out his name and tells him to sit down. Which after a brief hesitation he does. His smile disappearing under a scowl. I suppress a snort of laughter; Nathan never likes being told what to do.

I lift my head and walk up to him and sit down in front of him at the small table.

"Evie how are you sweetheart?" he says.

I wave my left hand, "I'm fine. What do you want Nathan?" I ask. I deliberately place my hands on the table so he can see my ring, his eyes zero in on it and they widen.

"What the fuck is that?" he asks pointing at my hand as his eyes flash with jealousy and anger.

"That is my engagement ring, I'm getting married" I say bluntly.

"Over my dead fucking body" Nathan retorts his eyes flashing with anger.

I smirk at him, "Ok if you insist, only let me know where they bury you so I can dance on your fucking grave" I hiss.

This seems to take him back "I heard you were seeing someone, someone from work" he says. I know he is fishing for information but I'm not going to make it easy for him.

"It's none of your business who I am or am not seeing and who I am or am not going to marry" I say.

"It fucking is, you're my girl" he says sulkily.

I laugh and then lean forward, "Let me make this clear to you. I am not your girl I stopped being your girl after you raped me. I stopped being your girl the day you dragged me across the kitchen by my hair and tried to kill me. I stopped being your girl the day you came back when you were briefly on parole off your head on drugs and in full view of a CCTV camera beat me up. I stopped being your girl when your daughter said she liked my new partner because he didn't scare her like daddy does. Do you want me to go on Nathan? Because I can give you plenty more reasons as to why I am not your fucking girl. I hate you, I despise you, I loathe you with a passion and the only reason I am here is to tell you that we don't want you. We don't need you and you are to stop contacting me because I am not your girl and if you dropped dead right now I would fucking cheer".

Nathan is staring at me, "No man is playing daddy to my daughter" he hisses.

It's my turn to smirk now, "My partner and I have repeatedly told Maisie you are her dad, and that will never change" I say then I shrug, before I add "unfortunately".

Nathan looks happier on hearing this so then I hit him with what Maisie said.

"But do you know what Nathan? Maisie was adamant, she wants to call my new partner daddy, you know what she said to him when he tried to tell her he wasn't her dad? She told him that she knew you were her dad as you had helped make her but that he behaved like a real daddy. So she wanted him to be her daddy and not you. We tried Nath we really did, we said but you were her dad but she wasn't having any of it. She didn't say the words but the sentiment was clear by what she did say and that was that you are just the fucking sperm donor. I'll tell you again just so it registers for you she said you helped make her but my partner was who she considers to be her real daddy. So you blew it with Maisie, that little girl hates you too and it's not my doing. You have done it all yourself by your actions" I say.

Nathan stares at me and I pull out the notebook and after holding it up to show the guard, I push it towards Nathan.

"What's this?" he asks.

"Maisie's diary for want of a better word. She writes stuff in it, stuff that she thinks".

He picks it up and opens it and sees the picture Maisie has drawn of me and Gideon with her at our new house she has written mummy above my head, me above hers and then above Gideon's she wrote Gideon which she has then crossed out and written daddy. He swallows and turns the page.

"She hasn't written this" he says dismissively, "She's only 5 fucking years old!" he splutters.

I roll my eyes, "She's four actually Nathan. Four, you don't even know how old she is, unbelievable" I say as I pull out the paperwork and push it towards him.

"What's this?" he asks.

"Maisie did write it because Maisie is clever. Really clever. We are talking gifted, prodigy, genius sort of clever. She is four years old but reading and writing to the level of an eight-year-old. My partner sits with her every night and listens to her read, and asks her questions about what she is reading. He bought her that notebook so she can write down her thoughts and feelings and anything else she wants. He spends time with her, he talks to her, plays games with her and reads to her. When was the last time you spent quality time with Maisie? Actually when was the last time you were in a room with her and she wasn't running out of it because you were scaring her to death? You know nothing about Maisie, not even her age but she is clever Nathan and not just book clever she's smart. She's got the sum of you! She knows you exactly for what you are, and that is a fucking waste of space" I say.

I watch as Nathan reads the paperwork, for a moment I think I see pride in his eyes as he reads just how impressive she is and then he picks up Maisie's diary once more. I watch him as he reads and swallows hard as he does so. I think it is dawning on him just what a remarkable little girl his daughter is.

"Maisie wrote this?" he asks after a moment and I nod.

"By herself" I say proudly.

"Who the fuck is Gideon?" he asks his eyes hardening and his anger clearly rising.

I smile, "My fiancé, the man I am going to marry. The man who Maisie asked if she could call him daddy" I say making sure I stick the knife in a bit more.

Nathan shuts the book with a slam and pushes it back towards me.

"I'm still her dad" he huffs.

I shake my head, "Not for much longer, Gideon is applying to adopt Maisie and it's all pretty straight forward, thanks to you being a complete fucking waste of space" I say.

Nathan leaps to his feet, "No he's fucking not" he yells.

Guards come over and pull him back down and whisper a warning in his ear.

I smile, "Yes he fucking is, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it". I am enjoying this and I am determined I am going to make him feel even worse than he does already.

"I have rights, I'm her dad" he says and he slams his fist down on the table which earns him another warning from the guard.

I shake my head and smile serenely at him. "No, actually you don't. As I say you have made it really easy for us because you are a complete waste of space. You see it's like this Nathan, do you remember the day I booked the appointment to register Maisie's birth and you promised me faithfully to be there? But instead you decided to go and get high with your mates and didn't show up, is it coming back to you? Well because you didn't bother to show up, I could not put your name on her birth certificate, because that's the law Nathan. You weren't there so you couldn't be named officially as her dad. So you have no rights whatsoever. You are nothing to her than a single sperm who out swam all the others. It will be all straightforward because you have no say at all" I say.

"I'll fight it, I'll get my rights" he says, and he slams his fist on the table once more which produces yet another warning from the guard.

I grin at him and lean towards him, "Go ahead and try! I'd love to see it! I'm sure the court would love to hear all about how Maisie was placed on the at risk register because of you and was nearly taken away from me because of you. How she learnt to recognise the signs of when you were going to go off on one so she could run next-door to hide. I'm sure all that would be taken into consideration Nathan. They would get Del's witness testimony, of all the times Maisie ran to him terrified of you. They will get all the social services records and the police records – you know when you tried to kill me and they will ask Maisie her opinion of you" I say picking her diary up once more and waving it at him. I have no idea if they will or not but I want him to realise just how he has no hope in any of this.

"I think what you have read in her diary should be enough for starters, and then what was it she said to Gideon?" I pause for dramatic emphasis while I pretend to remember.

"Oh yes… daddy – that's you, helped mummy to make me but you are my real daddy because you love me and you act like a daddy should be, like how daddy's are in the story books I read at school… he didn't, he never acted like a real daddy so I don't think I want to call him daddy anymore, that is what she said Nathan - word for word. Gideon was trying to make sure she knew that you would always be her real dad and she doesn't want you, she wants him".

I pause and open the notebook and turn a couple of pages and read what Maisie has written, "I love my new daddy, he loves my mummy. He doesn't scare me, or hurt my mummy and I am happy, he makes me feel safe and not scared not like old daddy, he scared me. I don't like old daddy, old daddy helped to make me but new daddy is my real daddy and I love my new daddy". I stop speaking and close the book and put it along with the papers into my bag. I look at Nathan and I'm surprised to see he looks upset about what he has just heard, but I really don't care.

"You only have yourself to blame Nathan, now fucking leave us alone and never contact me again" I say and with that I stand and go to leave.

"Evie wait" Nathan says, he reaches for me and I move out of his reach. "Please Evie, don't give up on me, I'll change" he whines.

I snort loudly and shake my head, "I'll change, it'll be different, I love you. I've heard it all before Nathan! Verbal diarrhoea, nothing more. I don't believe you because nothing changes with you I have accepted it and I say no more. You've blown it, we don't want or need you, you have been no father and failed spectacularly as a partner too. I hate you; I despise you for what you did to me, in fact I wish you would do us all a favour and just die". I know that is harsh but it is how I really feel about this man. He stares at me in shock at what I have just said.

"I know I fucked up, I won't hit you again Evie" he begs after a moment.

I shake my head, "It's not just the violence Nathan. You didn't just hit me, you kicked, punched and threatened me with a knife. You repeatedly raped me, I'm not entirely sure whether or not my daughter was conceived by rape, now after hearing that do you seriously think I want you anywhere near me or Maisie?" I pause and look at him questioningly.

"It wasn't rape you were my girlfriend" he spits and I shake my head.

"No means no Nathan and you holding me down and forcing yourself into me while I screamed no. Not to mention get off, it hurts. Leave me alone, I don't want to and please stop. This is the definition of fucking rape! You did that many, many times. Too fucking many but no more".

I watch as he stares in shock at me and shakes his head.

"I…I…I" he stammers.

"Because of you Maisie was nearly taken away completely, that was because you are a violent, abusive, drug addicted rapist and I hate you completely for the hell you put us through" I say coldly.

"But" he argues but I can see the bravado and anger has now gone and all I see in his eyes is fear.

"But nothing Nathan, I hate you, get the fuck out of my life," I say.

"Please, you're my life" he pleads.

I snort again, "Well tough, get a new one like I have" I say.

"My family have disowned me, you're all I have" he says and for the first time I think I see realisation and regret in his eyes. It's dawning on him on what ramifications his actions are having on him and that is all he is concerned about.

I smile again, "I know, Kelv told me and so did Gaz. But let me just correct you there, yes your family have disowned you but no you don't have me. I want nothing to do with you either" I say.

"But if you leave me I will be all alone" he says.

"Firstly not if, I have left. I have gone Nathan I have left you. I left you the day you tried to kill me and now I am with someone else. I am happy and I am getting married, so yes you are all alone but that's not my problem. You should have thought about that before you raped me and tried to kill me. Before you got high, before you traumatised my daughter. You are scum in fact you are less than scum. To call you scum is an insult to scum. We are over! I'm going now, I am going and you will never see me again I am going to get on with my life and I suggest you do the same, goodbye Nathan" I say and with that I stand up to leave.

"Evie don't do this, please I'm begging you… please Evie don't do this, look at me I'm begging you" he pleads.

I laugh humourlessly, and my patience is now at breaking point, "You are begging me? Are you really?! Do you mean you are begging me like I begged you, to stop raping me? Kicking me? Punching me? How I begged you and pleaded for my life when I thought you were going to kill me after you slashed me and then put a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me. You are really not getting this are you? You are clearly much thicker than I gave you credit for, what part of you are dead to me are you not understanding? For the final time I hate you. We are over. We are finished, no more. You are dead to me now. Maisie doesn't want you; you are on your own so get over it, goodbye" I say coldly.

Nathan sits his mouth hanging open as realisation finally hits him. As I see the desolation in his eyes I simply turn and walk away.

"EVIE!" I don't look back and carry on walking ignoring the single final shout of my name.