Shades of Purple
Chapter 24- Welcome Committee
The flight to the Milky Way was long and outright dull. The hyperdrive was not faulty, but it was notably old. Instead of shortening the trip to half an hour, it slowed down the speed to half an hour.
In the meantime, Tenn ate some kwanpies she purchased from a Trip2Go mart. They weren't that good, but for some reason, she still ate them. Maybe it had to do with the main ingredient's addictive qualities, making it hard to quit the habit. Taking another bite of the snack in her hand, she started searching through the radio channels to see what was going on in Irken space.
"... the heated battle over control of Vort still goes on, and it doesn't seem like any faction will emerge victorious just yet…"
It seemed the war was still the main focus. Sighing, Tenn almost went back to her napping when she heard something particular.
"The forces sent to Vort are giving the hell of a fight. But many believe the lizards would have been wiped out already if half the Armada wasn't occupied in searching for Lady Tenn." So the Empire already knows she's missing, and Purple sent half of the Armada to look for her. Wonderful.
"Come on, wouldn't you comb the galaxy for your wife? I wouldn't want to be in Tallest Purple's shoes in that sense; he must be sick with worry over what the lizards might do to her."
Wait. What? What the 'Sobrekt might do to her'? What do they have to do with…?
Tenn quickly logged into the Empire's databases and took a look at the announcements; whenever the Tallest or Control Brains gave an order, it's put up in there seconds later.
To all active Irken soldiers and Invaders.
Code Byzantium. This is not a drill.
Lady Tenn has gone missing, and we believe she's been taken hostage by the Sobrekt. She was last seen aboard the Massive while it was traveling near the Ahtrak system, which is close to Sobrekt controlled space. The Armada will be sent to scourge all nearby planetary systems for any trace of her whereabouts. If you have information regarding the possible location of Lady Tenn, you must report it to us immediately. Do not attempt to retrieve her without informing us first. Failure to comply and endangering Lady Tenn's well-being will result in charges of treason.
Glory to the Irken Empire.
Almighty Tallest Red and Almighty Tallest Purple.
...What? Kidnapped? Is this a joke? He thought the Sobrekt abducted her? Couldn't it occur to him that she left out of her own free will to get away from HIM? It can't be, he's not that dumb…!
No. Purple's not dumb. Absent-minded, maybe, but not outright dumb. He's not going to say to the crowds that his wife abandoned him, it would smear his beloved 'public image.' He probably thought of the kidnapping to have a justification for her absence. Yeah, it also gave him a viable excuse to occupy half of the Irken Armada's ships and resources to find her. The Control Brains might not have allowed it if it didn't involve the Sobrekt.
Damn it. This also meant that Purple must be pissed right now, which is more of a reason to get as far away from Irken controlled space as soon as possible.
Warning. Proximity alert. Planet Saturn.
Finally! The ship came out of hyperspace. Up ahead, there was a giant planet, even larger than Earth.
Tenn spotted lots of giant domes spread out across the planet's surface, all interconnected through long tunnels of sorts. She recognized the structures: they were life-supporting domes used to populate worlds which otherwise would be uninhabitable. The interior of the domes provided its inhabitants had oxygen and freshwater. Since Saturn had been moved to Earth's orbit, it could give the planet sunlight and UV rays.
She drove her ship towards the nearest dome but had to stop before the giant metal doors, right next to a sort of tollhouse. Inside it was a hyooman in a spacesuit, or 'astronaut' suit, as she'd heard.
"What is your business here, lady?" He said, sounding disinterested.
Tenn rolled her eyes. "What do you think, genius? I want to go in."
"Block number and designated area."
"What?"
"Visitor or resident?"
"I wish to live here."
"In that case, you must go to dome 02 over there," the space-hyooman pointed to a far smaller dome nearby. "There, you will go through the paperwork required to live here. Now move, other people are waiting!" Tenn murmured under her breath, but did as told and flew her ship towards the dome.
There were lots of alien ships she recognized in the parking lot. Guess the races conquered by the Empire wouldn't miss a chance to have a better life somewhere the Irken Armada would never come to willingly. Once she found a space, she left her voot runner and headed inside. As she expected, the office was full of aliens, both familiar and unknown species, all seated throughout the room in chairs, waiting for their turn.
However, all of them stared at her as soon as she crossed the doors. Tenn didn't waver as she felt the hostile looks all over her. She glanced around, trying to figure out what to do next. The former Invader saw a Plookesian grabbing a ticket from a nearby machine and find a seat. She headed towards the device and pulled a ticket. Turn 293,148. Tenn glanced at the monitor showing the current turn: 293,064.
Shit.
-IZ-
"Number 293,148, you are solicited in module 5."
Finally! Tenn jumped from her seat and headed towards the door with the number five, stepping into a gray, dirty office. And in the desk sat a fat man who smelled like he hadn't bathed in days. She felt a shiver down her spine. She hated dirty things, and untidy species even more.
"Are you going to sit down?" HE asked, rather rudely.
"I'm fine over here," Tenn said flatly. There's no way she was going to approach that… thing. Thankfully, the hyooman didn't seem to care.
"Name, species, and reason for wanting to settle down in Saturn."
"I think it's pretty obvious I'm an Irken, hyooman." Tenn retorted. How did he not recognize her species when Zim lives here? "My name is Tenn, and I want a roof to sleep under."
"Aha." The hyooman typed on his computer, taking a big gulp of a brown drink. "Your petition will be sent for revision and approval. You may wait in the lounge. Next!"
Tenn walked out of the office and took a deep breath of fresh, clean air. Puaj! How can hyoomans live in such nasty conditions? Must be a mammal thing. She's never seen avian or reptilian species neglect their hygiene. If that man were Irken, he'd already been sent to planet Dirt as punishment for getting everything dirty with his presence.
The lounge reminded her a bit of the cafeteria in the Massive, except this one was in deplorable conditions. For Irk's sake, not even the Insecta were this dirty, and they are overgrown roaches!
Speaking of Insecta, Tenn was surprised to find one in there, battling with a snack dispenser machine. There were a few other aliens in a line behind him, but none of them dared tell him to move.
Tenn went to take a seat in the cleanest table she could find. Once again, she felt lots of eyes on top of her, glaring at her. Her lekku twitched as she heard the whispers. They seemed to be wondering what an Irken was doing all the way here and if the Empire had sent another Invader. Please, this planet's already the property of the Irken Empire, as Zim had claimed it alongside Earth. He might be defective and not a real Invader, but he's an Irken nonetheless.
"Well, look who it is."
Tenn twitched her lekku. That voice… She turned around and saw a strange, glowing blue alien. She found it familiar, but at the same time, she couldn't wrap her finger around it.
"It's been a while, Tenn." The alien spat.
"Right…" Tenn said awkwardly. "And you are…?"
The alien scoffed. "What? Forgotten me already? I'd expect an Invader to recall the people they used to get through the planet's weaknesses."
Tenn blinked twice. Yeah, she had conquered a few planets when she was an Invader (damn you, Purple), but she didn't remember any world with this type of creature. "What was your species again? I don't remember-" she was cut off as the alien lunged forward, pinning her to the ground.
"How dare you?" He hissed. "Do you find it amusing to pretend you don't know me when you used me as a pawn to bring my homeworld down?! Then again, what else could be expected from an Irken?!" The crowds around them voiced their agreement.
Tenn kicked the alien off with an angry snarl. "You better watch your words, whatever you are. You said it yourself, I'm an Irken Invader and member of the Irken Elite, so getting me pissed is a terrible idea."
Another scoff, though this one sounded more hurt and frustrated than anything. "The Conqueror of Meekrob? Right! If you can't even remember the Empire's 'greatest achievement' up to date, how come you even made it through primary school or whatever you call it."
Meekrob. The name rang a bell, but her head hurt when she tried to remember. She had heard about the planet's conquest. It was the main topic talk before the war with the Sobrekt started.
"That's enough, the both of you!" a hyooman in a black suit approached, holding a sort of laser gun. "You better behave unless you want to be kicked out!"
The Meekrob conceded, but he never removed his angry gaze off her as they separated. Tenn returned the glare and went back to her seat.
After hours of waiting, Tenn's case was finally approved. Not only that, but she was given a residence in one of the fancier domes, courtesy of Gazlene. She casually came across her case file and decided to 'lend her a hand.' She couldn't help but worry that Zim would rat her out if he found out, though, so she sent Gaz-demon a mail asking her to keep her presence a secret.
The inside of the dome was reminiscent of Zimtopia back on Earth, except the sky consisted of holographic panels in the dome's ceiling, complete with day-and-night cycle according to the brochure she was given. The houses here consisted of fancy departments and homes; it must be the expensive one meant for rich people. There were a few parks and small wildlife to give the place some more natural feeling.
Tenn saw lots of hyoomans, but also some foreign residents such as Vortians, Fa'er, Kraeh, Insecta, Hobos, amongst others. She noticed some tension between the different species, but most of them were civil about it, and a few even had become friends. Odd, she figured that the hyoomans, being the retrograde species they were, would be hostile to aliens, who until then had been regarded as nothing more than fiction.
Tenn was assigned a penthouse similar to her apartment back on Irk, with a wide balcony and a small terrace. Its décor was mostly blue, black, and gray. She made a mental note to redecorate.
"Hey." Tenn jumped when she hear Gaz's voice from her couch. There she was, eating some pizza. Her squeedly-spooch churned at the sight of the overly greasy hyooman dish. Ew, how could she even think of eating it the last time?
"What are you doing here?" she inquired after getting over the fright.
"Well, as you've probably been told, I happened to see your petition to live here, and I had to see what you were up to," Gaz said. "So let me guess: either you and your husband had a big fight, and you left him, or you left without him knowing it to take time for yourself."
Tenn blinked in surprise. "The second one."
"What happened?"
The Invader plopped down unto the opposite couch and told her everything. From Lena's offer to aid her escape, how she got Purple to lower his guard, and how she ran away with Lena and Jack's help. Tenn omitted the... 'passionate night,' though. She might like the Gaz-demon, but Tenn still didn't feel comfortable in touching that topic.
"I bet he must be pissed right now."
"He is. He's already sent half the Armada to look for me under the pretense that the Sobrekt abducted me," Tenn sighed. "In other words, I'm a fugitive."
"I know. Your husband called Zim not long ago, telling him to inform if he ever saw you on Earth or anywhere near it." Tenn raised her lekku in alarm. Damn it. Her one trump card was that Purple wouldn't consider Earth as a hiding spot. "Don't worry. He doesn't know you're here. At least, not yet." Gaz frowned. "But you're going to need a disguise if you want to make sure it stays that way."
"Why? Zim doesn't live here, does he?"
"No, but you're the only Irken in Saturn. And believe me, news travel fast. Now that the other aliens have seen you, word will spread out quickly. And when Zim hears about it, he'll send someone to investigate."
"Any suggestions, then?"
Gaz shrugged. "Well, I got some of Zim's old disguises. He doesn't need them anymore, so he won't even notice they're gone."
"Disguises?" Tenn remembered Zim's little showcase when they came to pick Mor up. His 'camouflage' consisted of. Mere wig and contact lenses: the only reason he wasn't discovered back then was because hyoomans were very dumb. She frowned. "Come on, now that Zim's revealed himself, I don't think hyoomans are that dumb to get fooled by the same disguise again, are they?" She chuckled, but Gaz merely raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"
"You wish."
"It's that, or being found and sent back to your 'beloved husband.'"
….
-IZ-
Tenn looked at herself in the mirror, utterly disgusted. Black, long-haired wig with a pink ribbon on top, itchy contact lenses with blue irises, and one of Gaz's favorite clothes: a black blouse and navy blue pants. The leather material the latter were made of was quite uncomfortable, though. Oh, well, at least it was a skirt.
"I feel fat."
"Don't be a drama queen; you'll get used to it," Gaz said.
"Are you sure Zim won't recognize me if he sees me?"
Gaz chuckled. "Chill out. Even if he recognizes you as an Irken, he can't deduce who you are unless he can see your eye color and lekku, as far as I know. As for your scent," she placed a pink round dial on the table. "This will do."
"What's that?" Tenn asked curiously as she examined the cuál. She pressed the squirting top on top of it, and it released a sprinkle of strong, overly sweet liquid. Tenn gagged and put it back down.
"It's perfume. It will mask your smell enough to confuse Zim should you ever encounter him."
Tenn covered her mouth with a hand, clutching her abdomen as her squeedly-spooch squirmed. The smell was nauseating. "I'm going to throw up-!"
Gaz pointed to a door on the corridor. "In there. Just make sure you use the toilet."
Tenn didn't need to be told twice. She ran into the bodily evacuation room and slammed the door shut behind her just in time to throw up into the toilet. Her throat hurt a bit, and the acid taste of her vomit lingered in her tongue. She sipped water from a bottled capsule in her PAK.
A few minutes later, she walked back into the living room. "Damn it..."
"So what will you do now? I mean, you're being trailed the most powerful empire in the universe, right?"
"I don't know. Guess I will stick around for some time until I figure out what to do."
Gaz stood up. "Well, if you ever get bored, give me a call." In the way out, she smirked. "It's been a while since I had a worthy videogames opponent."
Well, looks like things are going smoothly for Tenn, at least for the time being. I wonder how long it'll remain that way.
True fans of science fiction will notice the references I made to a particular movie. A cookie for whoever can guess!