Author's Note:
Hello? Anybody out there? **Sigh** I really flaked out on my promise to get this story finished, and I really am sorry about that. It's been a few years, and I'm sure I've lost readers….but I am back and ready to finally finish this thing… I guess a part of me didn't want this story to end. It's pretty special to me, even though it's sad. I hope you guys are still out there. Also, it's been 11 years to this day (Feb 2, 2009 – Feb 2, 2020), that I began writing this story. Yup…I'm that bad at updating.
After I finish/publish the last couple chapters of this (this chapter and the next one), I will also be posting an alternate ending to this story. This is mostly for one of my dear friends…I promised her one a long time ago, and I'm going to live up to that too. But just note, that how this story truly ends is what's written here (this chapter and the next/final chapter).
Anyways… here's the next chapter. Hope you (anyone who still reads this) like it… It's pretty darn long, but it just needed to be. Thanks.
Chapter 23: Ships of Heaven
~ Flashback ~
March 16, 1992
Heather smiled tiredly in the rocking chair that was held in she and Randall's new six-day-old daughter's nursery. Randall had just taken Lilly from her, ever so gently as to not wake her, and looked upon her with such wonder. "She's so beautiful," whispered Heather.
"I can't get over it," he replied quietly.
Standing carefully, since she was still sore from giving birth, Heather went over to stand next to her family. "I think I'm going to go to bed, hun. I can't keep my eyes open much longer…"
"Well, you deserve a good night's sleep," he said before kissing her. "I'll stay with Lilly for a while… Make sure she stays asleep."
"Thank you, Randy." Taking another look at her daughter, Heather leaned down and kissed her forehead. "We love you, Lilly. Goodnight."
Randall's heart swelled with love and pride as he watched his wife exit the nursery. Then he looked back at his little angel. "Oh, Lilly," he spoke while taking a seat on the rocking chair. "My sweet little Lilly. You have no idea how happy we are to have you." Gently, he ran his thumb over her cheek, smiling as the corner of her mouth twitched slightly. "We didn't think we'd ever get this lucky, but we did…we finally did."
Suddenly, Lilly gradually opened her eyes, letting out a soft, little grunt. Randall couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm probably talking too much… but, I have to admit, I'm a sucker for those eyes. You have your mother's eyes. Both of you are the most important people in my life, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to prove that to you. In fact, I promise to try and protect you from anything… I'll do absolutely anything to keep you happy."
When Randall lightly traced his thumb over Lilly's hand, she wrapped her tiny fingers around it. Tears brimmed his eyes at the joyous feeling. "Absolutely anything…" he whispered
~~ End Flashback~~
August 8, 2010
5:32 p.m
The dim light from the setting sun was all that shone through the window of Lilly's hospital room. Randall cried quietly to himself as the memories of bringing Lilly home after she was born replayed in his mind. His eyes turned from the window back to his daughter, and his heart ached terribly. "Lilly…" he began. "I…I don't know what to do… I keep hoping for some sort of sign. I-I don't think I could…" His voice failed him as he choked back a hard sob. "I don't think I could l-let you go… You're my baby girl…"
At that moment, Heather quietly walked back into the room; not wanting to disturb Randall. "Randy…" she spoke just above a whisper.
He turned just as fresh tears rolled down his face. "Hey…" he choked out.
With a sad smile, she took a seat next to him. "You should get some rest, Randy. You didn't sleep much last night."
"How can I? I feel…I feel like I'm drowning. What are we supposed to do?"
"I think," she started calmly, "that both of us should get some sleep. We can't do anything until we get some sort of rest at least."
Randall shook his head. "I'm supposed to be the strong one…"
"You have been. We both need to be right now. Please, Randy… I could really use some rest and I need to be with you too."
Giving out a long, defeated sigh, Randall slowly stood up, giving one more glance at Lilly. "It's so hard to leave her."
Heather smiled sadly. "She's not going anywhere." She then laced her fingers with his. "We need to sleep at some point."
This time, he nodded in agreement. "Yeah…I know you're right."
"Thank you." After her husband finally started walking towards the door with her, Heather turned around to place a gentle kiss on top of her daughter's head. "We love you, sweetie…" Then, together, the couple went out into the waiting room.
Once Randall sat down on the waiting room couch, he realized exactly how tired he was. "I love you, Heather," he quietly spoke as she leaned into him as they both got comfortable.
"I love you, too. So much." After reaching up for a kiss, she leaned back down against his body. Sleep very quickly took over the second they both closed their eyes…
Oliver's House
5:48 p.m.
Oliver had been lying in his bed all evening, hoping to get some sort of rest after not being able to sleep well the past few nights. Yet, he had no such luck. With the lights out, window cracked open, and meditation music softly playing in the background, he had hoped he'd be able to fall asleep. Joannie had suggested these sleep techniques to him, but he was still wide awake.
Tears slipped from his eyes as he glanced over at his desk… A framed photo of he, Lilly, and Miley together stared back at him. It was from tenth grade… happier times….he just wanted it all back. Tears continued to flow as he rolled over to bury his face into his pillow. He hated being in constant pain all the time. He wanted Miley back and to have everything with Lilly be normal again. Lilly wouldn't be in a coma if Miley were still alive…
A cool breeze blew through his window, resulting in him pulling the covers further over his body. With the instant comfort it brought him, he felt fatigue finally settle over him. It was so sudden, but he welcomed the feeling. Then, just like that, Oliver fell into a deep slumber…
(-)
Ocean air and a warm campfire smell overtook Oliver and he happily opened his eyes at the sound of laughter off in the distance. He scanned his surroundings; finding Randall and Heather standing next to him. "Hey…" he spoke softly.
Randall, also smiling, looked down at Oliver. He didn't know how they all got to the beach, but it was a wonderful feeling. "Hey, sport," he responded as he stretched an arm across his wife's shoulders.
They all took a seat on beach chairs that surrounded the fire. Heather, too, smiled as she looked around. Randall, Oliver, Joannie, Robbie Ray, and Jackson were all with her. "What's going on?" she curiously asked.
"Beats me," Robbie Ray responded, "but it sure feels nice being out here."
Oliver nodded. "It sure does…"
Laughter was heard once again and Oliver's heart skipped a beat. He knew those laughs… "It can't be…" he whispered before turning in his seat.
Lilly continued to laugh as she happily spun around in Miley's arms. They were making their way towards their family and friends. After being put down, Lilly took Miley's hand in hers, leading them over to the group. "Guys!" she happily called out. "Miley's here!"
Robbie Ray's eyes misted over with tears as he sprung up from his seat. "M-Miley…" he rasped out.
Miley's eyes welled up with tears as well upon seeing her father. She lightly pulled Lilly's hand up to her lips; giving a soft kiss before letting go. Then, she ran across and met her dad half way for a fierce, and much needed, hug. "Daddy…" she happily cried out.
"My baby girl," he cried out, dropping to his knees with Miley still in his grasp. "My sweet Miley…"
Lilly stood back and watched with tears in her eyes at the happy reunion. Jackson had rushed over as well to join the hug. It was great to see them together…if only for a moment.
"Lilly…." Heather's gentle voice called out in disbelief.
Turning her eyes towards her parents, Lilly then made a mad dash over to them. "Mom," she cried as she wrapped her in a loving embrace. "I'm here, Mom."
"We've missed you so much," Randall added as he happily hugged Lilly as well. "What's all this about?" he asked after a comfortable moment of silence.
Lilly pulled back and looked from her mother to her father. "I wanted to talk to all of you," she answered with a hint of hesitancy.
Oliver – still in shock at seeing his two best friends – slowly made his way over with Joannie's hand laced with his. "Wh-What about?" he shakily asked.
Silence fell upon the group and now all eyes were on Lilly. Miley looked up at her father, giving him a gentle smile, and then walked over towards her girlfriend. "It's okay, Lilly," she spoke reassuringly while taking hold of the blonde's hand.
Lilly felt instant strength at Miley's gentle touch. "I…" she hesitated. "I need you guys to do something for me. I really need you to listen to what I have to say…"
A tear slid down Randall's face as he slowly nodded. The seriousness in his daughter's voice made his heart grow heavy. "Okay, Lilly…"
Miley's arms wrapped around Lilly from behind and, after feeling the brunette's chin rest against her head, she knew this was all the courage she needed to continue. "Thank you…" she whispered to Miley. "Mom, Dad….Oliver…. everyone…." She said as she looked around at her loved ones. "I love you all so much. You never stopped being there for me when I needed it the most. I'll never be able to thank you enough."
Heather's hand shook as it made its way up to her mouth. "L-Lilly…"
"Mom…" Lilly interrupted. "You and Dad working things out together was something I've wanted for a long, long time, and…I just wanted you guys to realize how lucky you were to have each other. Your love is so special…"
Both Heather and Randall smiled and locked eyes before returning their attention back to their daughter. "Kiddo, you don't need to worry about us… No matter what," replied Randall.
A single tear slid down Lilly's smiling face. "I love you both so much…" With that, Lilly released herself from Miley and practically dove into her parents waiting arms.
Heather started sobbing while she clung to her family. This all felt so real, and deep in her heart, she knew what all of this meant. "We love you, too… More than anything."
Turning her head to the side, Lilly found Oliver standing nearby…tears streaming down his face. "Come here," she whispered, extending an arm out for him to join.
Without any hesitation, Oliver darted into the embrace of his second family. He quickly buried his face into Lilly's hair. "Lilly, please…" he begged.
Lilly couldn't hold back her crying as she held onto all of them. "I-I'm finally happy again," she began. "If I ever were to wake up, I won't be me anymore." At this, she pulled back to look into each of their eyes. "God…" she choked up. "I know this is a lot to ask, but… please… please let me go. I'm not me without Miley…without any memory of her…I'd be nothing. I need to be with her…"
Randall felt his knees buckle slightly, but he still held Heather and Oliver tightly. "H-How can w-we let you go? I c-can't…"
"Dad…" pleaded Lilly. "I need to go… It's time…"
"N-No!" Oliver sobbed. "I-I still need you!"
Lilly quickly pulled back and grabbed Oliver into an embrace. "Oliver… I will always be with you. I…I'm never going to wake up… I need to be set free."
He shook his head. "I can't lose you, too…"
Miley, wiping a tear from her eye, walked over to her two best friends. "You'll never lose us, Oliver," she softly spoke. "You are made to do great things in this world, and we'll always be watching over you…" Miley looked up and smiled at everyone else around them. "All of you…"
"I-I've missed you both," Oliver shook out. "Lilly hasn't been the same without you…"
"And now I'm with her again," Lilly reasoned. "Here, with her, is all I've ever wanted."
Heather squeezed Randall's hand as they continued to cry. "Lilly, sweetheart," she began, kneeling in the sand as Lilly walked over. Soon enough, Randall joined them in the sand. "All we've wanted was to help find a way to make you happy again…but this…"
"This is it, Mom… I know asking you this is a little selfish, but I'll never be your Lilly again. I love Miley… I've been in peace being with her again."
Randall nodded, wiping his eyes with his shirt sleeve. "J-Just do one thing for us, Lilly," he spoke, getting a nod from her to continue. "Give us a sign…something, anything…to let us know this wasn't just a dream. We…we can't let you go unless we know…"
Heather looked at her husband with shocked, yet understanding eyes, and then back at Lilly. "C-Can you do that for us?"
Lilly gave a tearful smile and nod before diving back into their arms.
Oliver's eyes tightly closed as he watched. This really couldn't be goodbye…
Suddenly, a warm, friendly hand landed on his shoulder. He looked over to see Miley smiling at him. "How can I go on without either of you?" he whispered.
"You have Joannie…" Miley replied. "You two are going to have such a wonderful life together."
He couldn't help but smile at that. "Wh-What about them?" he asked, pointing over to the Truscott's.
"One day," she began, "they are going to help turn someone's life around for the better. They're going to need you, too, of course."
Soon enough, everyone was next to each other by the fire again. Randall still had his hold on Lilly as he locked eyes with Miley. "Th-This isn't how I imagined giving her away to you… Thank you for making her so happy…"
Miley reached out and took Lilly's offered hand; pulling her into her embrace once again. "I've always loved her…" she said with a smile.
Lilly looked from Miley and then to her parents again. Their eyes held nothing but heartache. "I'll always be with you…" she softly spoke to them.
"W-We know." Heather smiled through her tears.
"I love you so much, kiddo," Randall choked out.
Tears sprang to Lilly's eyes. "I love you both more than you'll ever know. You're the greatest parents I could have ever asked for… You don't need to rush this, but…you'll know when it's time."
They both nodded, holding tightly to one another. "Bye, Lilly…"
"Bye…" Lilly brokenly whispered.
Oliver darted over; tightly clinging to Lilly. "I-I'll miss you," he cried.
Both Miley and Lilly held him now. "I'll be in your heart, Ollie… Keep this in your mind and keep sleeping… I'm right here."
Then, to everyone's dismay, everything around them started to dim. Lilly and Miley were gone…
(-)
Heather jolted awake with tears streaming down her face; the feel of Lilly in her arms again fresh in her mind. It had all felt so real…
Randall quickly held onto his wife after he, too, woke up at the same time. He was confused and tried to wrap his mind around the dream he just had. Was it just a dream, though?
"R-Randy," she said through a deep, shaky breath. "I-I was holding Lilly…"
Randall's eyes shot open and he was quick to move so he could look into his wife's eyes. "Wait, you what?" he eagerly asked.
Wiping her eyes, she took in another deep breath to help calm her shaking body. "I…I had a dream that we were all at the beach, and…and…"
"Lilly asked us to let her go…" he softly finished.
Heather's eyes darted up in surprise. "Y-You had the dream too…"
That was when realization fully dawned on him. "It was real…" he whispered, trying to take it all in. Tears trickled out from his eyes at the memory of it. "I gave her away to Miley…"
Heather reached her hands up to cup her husband's face; wiping away his tears. "She really did come to us."
Surprising himself, he let out a small, rough laugh. "Y-Yeah, I really think she did…" Randall looked across the room at the clock on the waiting room wall. It was almost 9:30 p.m. "Heather…I, um…I'm still not sure what to do, but…maybe we should really discuss this. Maybe even have our parents come by to see Lilly…" His voice failed him, making it hard to continue.
She nodded, understanding what he was trying to say. "Y-Yes, I think….I think it's important…to have them come…"
Before she could finish her train of thought, Lilly's doctor rounded the corner, approaching them. The somber look on the man's face made their heart's freeze with fear. "Dr. Rosen…" Randall started, but was cut short.
"Mr. and Mrs. Truscott… Um, something happened with Lilly while you were resting. We're running some tests right now, but…it's not looking good… I'm sorry."
Tears sprung to their eyes; bodies shaking. "Wh-What happened?" Heather shakily asked.
"I'll let you know as soon as I can. Just…maybe think about having some family stop by," he hesitantly suggested. "Anyone you think might want to come by…"
Knowing that Dr. Rosen didn't sound optimistic shattered their already broken hearts. "Okay…" Randall whispered in disbelief while holding Heather tightly. They did ask Lilly to give them a sign…
After Dr. Rosen walked away, Heather let out a quivered sob. "I-I'm going to c-call my parents…" she said through tears.
Randall could only nod in response. He would call his parents as well, but first…there was someone else he felt should be there with them right now. He pressed 4 on his speed dial and waited a little while for an answer. "Oliver," he croaked out, "um…I think you need to be here…"
August 9, 2010
12:03 a.m.
Oliver sat in the waiting room next to the window. The world was dark and still, which fit his mood perfectly. He showed up at the hospital around an hour after Randall called him. The seriousness in his voice set off a panic attack and, after the very realistic dream he had about Lilly, he only knew that the worst was coming.
Both Heather and Randall looked destroyed, of course, but also…also like they knew this was coming. Letting out a sigh, Oliver stood up and walked over to them. They were still waiting to hear about Lilly and he figured now would be a good time to talk to them about his dream.
"Hey…" he began. "Um…can I talk to you guys about a dream I had before you called?"
Randall's head shot up. "Dream? What was it about?"
Seeing the eagerness on both of their faces slightly confused him. "It was about Lilly… We were all there. Miley was with her… Lilly was telling us to let her go…" At this, tears slid down Oliver's cheeks. The dream was still so fresh in his mind.
Heather slowly stood up along with Randall; their eyes locked on Oliver. "Sweetie…" she spoke softly. "We, uh…we had the same dream… We were all there."
Oliver's eyes widened. "What?"
Randall pulled the boy into a hug. "I gave her away to Miley…"
More tears fell. "Y-Yeah… Lilly told me th-that she'd always be with me…with all of us…"
Heather placed a gentle kiss on top of Oliver's head as she continued to quietly cry. "She will be…always," she whispered.
All three of them fell silent. The dream was, in fact, more than just that. Lilly really had come to them. This had to be the sign…
"Mr. Truscott…Mrs. Truscott…"
They all turned to find Dr. Rosen. Randall was sure his heart stopped at that moment. "Is she…?"
Dr. Rosen somberly shook his head. "Lilly…she, um…There's no longer any sign of brain activity. She used to have very minor activity, but… I really hate to tell you this," he struggled out, taking a deep breath. "The life support is literally the only thing keeping her breathing. It's not just for precautions anymore."
Oliver looked up with his tear-filled eyes at the people who he always thought of as his second parents. "Sh-She wants to go…" he whispered brokenly.
Heather squeezed his hand before looking back over at Dr. Rosen. "We…We just need some time…"
"I understand… Lilly should be settled back in by now if you want to be with her… Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."
"Th-Thank you," replied Randall before turning back to his loved ones. The lost, empty expressions on their faces was more than he could take. "L-Let's go be with her…" he rasped out while leading them in the direction of Lilly's room.
August 11, 2010
9:34 a.m.
The past couple of days were busy for the Truscott's and it all seemed to be a blur to both Heather and Randall. They each made phone calls to family and friends on Monday after they all got some more sleep during the night. To their comfort, everyone dropped whatever they were doing so they could make plans to get over to see and say goodbye to Lilly. Both sets of parents arrived instantly along with the Stewart's. It wasn't until the next day (Tuesday), that Ruby and Dolly arrived from Tennessee. All in all, they were very grateful to have so many loved ones with them during such a difficult time.
At that moment, after she and Randall had talked to Dr. Rosen about their decision, Heather sat with Lilly in her room. The lights were off and the window was cracked open. All of her emotions from the past two days were really starting to hit her hard, so she had excused herself from everyone to be alone for a moment. She knew they already lost Lilly, but to actually let her go…it was all too much to handle.
A soft knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. "Come in…" she rasped out.
Robbie Ray poked his head in. "Mind if I come in?"
Heather turned and gave him a small smile. "Of course…"
Robbie kept his sorrowed eyes on Lilly as he made his way over to Heather. He knew all too well the pain they were going through. "I know this is a dumb question, but…how are you holdin' up?"
"I'm not," she softly responded. "Robbie…" She now turned to fully face him. "…How do you go on every day? How are you so strong after losing Miley? I don't…I don't think I…"
Robbie squeezed her shoulder, smiling sadly. "Losing Miley…it still haunts me. I'm not gonna lie… That pain just ain't gonna go away. I just know that I have the rest of my family to be strong for. I haven't been alone in this and you need to know that you two ain't gonna be alone either."
Heather, too choked up to speak, stood up and pulled Robbie into a hug and finally let herself cry again.
A few seconds later, Randall opened the door and paused at the heartbreaking sight of his wife and best friend crying in each other's arms. He turned his head to signal the others to follow him into the room. "Heather…" he rasped out as he walked over to join the hug.
Oliver squeezed Joannie's hand, tears welling up, and stood next to Jackson against the wall. His eyes were fixed on Lilly. Even though his heart was breaking, he knew that Lilly was finally going to be happy again.
As the three adults pulled back from their hug, Randall tearfully looked over at the kids. "Robbie…" he began as he glanced around the room and then back to Robbie Ray. "I'm glad you want to be here in the room with us today…" He cleared his dry throat and tried to compose himself. "I…I'm sorry you had to be alone when Miley passed… I wish we could have been there with you, too. I know Lilly wanted to be…"
Tears slipped from Robbie's eyes. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else… I just don't want you two to feel bad about that day… What's important is that Miley wasn't alone…and you guys won't be either. We're all here for you," he finished as he gestured to Jackson, Oliver, and Joannie.
"I'm glad you're all here…our other family," Heather said as her voice cracked.
"And with you all here," Randall continued, "Heather and I want to renew our vows while we still have Lilly next to us. She helped us realize how precious and fragile love is, and…we owe this much to her. We'll have an official ceremony with everyone else another time. We just want to do this now before…" His voice failed him and he took a moment to control his emotions. "B-Before we say goodbye."
Oliver tearfully smiled. "Lilly would love that…"
Offering a small smile, Randall took both of Heather's hands into his; locking eyes with her. "Heather," he began while taking in a deep, shaky breath. "I know things haven't always been perfect, but our marriage has always the most important thing to me. Together, we had Lilly and made a beautiful family. All I wanted was to be the best husband and father that I could be and felt many a time that I hadn't lived up to that. Lilly really helped me realize how amazing love is and how easily you can lose it… I never want to lose you… I vow to be strong for you, and be there for you, whenever you need me. I vow to love you and show you every day for the rest of our lives how much you mean to me. I vow to make Lilly proud…"
Heather smiled through tears and squeezed Randall's hands. "Randall…being your wife and Lilly's mother is all I could have asked for in life. We've had a rocky road along the way, but not once did I want to give up on us. Lilly's faith in us really put life into perspective for me… I vow to be the wife you deserve to have… I vow to prove my love for you every single day… I vow to make Lilly proud…"
With tears now streaming down their faces, Randall and Heather leaned in for a kiss. After pulling back, they both leaned down to place a soft kiss on Lilly's forehead. "We love you," they whispered together.
Everyone in the room was now in tears as well at the display of love and loss. "That was beautiful," Robbie Ray shook out.
Randall wiped his eyes. "Th-Thank you…thank you for being here everyone…"
A few moments later, Dr. Rosen softly knocked on the door, peeking his head in. "Mr. and Mrs. Truscott… Have you still made your final decision?"
Randall hugged Heather tightly when she buried her face into his chest. "We…we're ready to say goodbye…"
Dr. Rosen sadly nodded as he fully entered the room; making his way towards Lilly. "You wish to have everyone here present?"
"Y-Yes…" Randall answered, trying to keep from crying.
"Wait!" Oliver rushed over to the bed and tearfully took Lilly's hand in his. He couldn't hold back his pain. "L-Lilly…" he whispered. "I-I won't let you down. I'm going to m-make you proud…G-Goodbye…I'll always love you…" Tears splashed down onto Lilly's hand as he pulled it up for a final kiss.
Randall reached for Oliver after he had backed away from Lilly. He and Heather held him close to them. Robbie Ray, Jackson and Joannie approached to stand next to them for comfort. Robbie's hand squeezed Randall's shoulder as they waited for the moment they were all dreading.
"Be free, sweetheart," Heather brokenly whispered.
Randall placed his chin atop his wife's head and let his emotions take over. Together, with their loved ones by their side, they watched with broken hearts as Dr. Rosen took off the life support… Lilly could finally be happy with Miley again, and that was all the comfort they needed to make it through.
Oliver bowed his head as tears fell. Lilly was gone…
(-)
"Don't cry for me, when I'm gone
Keep the faith and be strong
'Cause through it all I've been blessed
I faced my fears and I've passed the test
So when you look up in the sky on a sunny day
Imagine me drifting away…
I'll be sailing on the ships of heaven
When the tide rolls out for the last time
You'll find me sailing on the ships of heaven
Waiting for the day I come sailing back to you…"
~ 'Ships of Heaven' – Blackhawk
This was a hard chapter to write and I hope I did this justice after such a long wait. Please leave your thoughts… I'd love to hear from you all again.
One more chapter left… Thanks for the journey.