The day had finally arrived when we would be moving to a bigger place. Well, actually to a house and not an apartment. It was bittersweet leaving our first home, where we had so many memories (good and bad), but we were craving the extra space, especially with two more family members on the way. George, Paul, Ringo and Mal were helping us move (John and Cynthia were on holiday in Switzerland). Our new home was located at 24 Chapel Street, Belgravia: a five-storey townhouse in an affluent area of London. As soon as we pulled up out the front, something was jogged in my memory. I had a feeling I had seen this house before. I deduced that I'd perhaps seen it in a photograph in the future.
The house contained five bedrooms, a massive upgrade from the two we previously had to make do with. And another important change was that now everyone had actual beds instead of just a mattress on the floor. Divvying up the bedrooms was a surprisingly quick decision. Brian got his own bedroom, of course, and the rest of us paired up. Kylie and I paired up in a split second, and Adam and Ben were quick to claim each other as roommates. Ethel and Jenny naturally chose one another, which left Peter and Jack in the remaining room. The basement contained the garage, a bedroom and a living area; a space I assumed was designed for household staff. Brian allocated this level to Kylie and me so that we would have more space when our babies came and, I presume, to keep crying babies away from other members of the household in the middle of the night. The entry level contained the kitchen and dining room. The first level contained a sitting room and Brian's office. The second level contained two bedrooms, the front one belonging to Brian and the rear one Ethel and Jenny. The top floor was boy land – the front bedroom claimed by Adam and Ben.
Kylie and I were fine to keep the bed we were previously sleeping in, which was once Ethel's. Brian purchased six new single beds for the others. It took all of that Saturday to get settled in and unpacked. It was strange having so much space and not living on top of each other although, now, we literally were living on top of each other on different levels of the house. No one would let Kylie or me carry anything heavy, so we were left with light menial tasks such as rearranging cushions on couches and finding cupboard space for towels and sheets. At one moment, the two of us were decorating the aforementioned sitting room on the first floor. Brian was in his office on the same floor. We could hear a conversation happening in there.
"I should be able to fit it in next Thursday," I could hear Brian saying. "Paul and Jane will be on holiday but the other boys will come I'm sure."
"I'll have to clear it with Mo," Ringo responded. "Would you mind being best man?"
"Of course I'll do it, Ringo."
I glanced at Kylie to see what her reaction was going to be. Of course, I knew this was coming any day now. As the history books go, Ringo and Maureen get married in February 1965.
"Are they getting married?" she whispered to me.
"Yes," I responded.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, did I need to? You and Ringo aren't involved anymore."
"I'd still like to know."
"I didn't know if it was still going to happen. I don't know how much of history we've changed just by being here."
"What're you two talking about?" Ringo stuck his head in curiously.
"Nothing," snapped Kylie as she went about fluffing cushions. Ringo gave me a quizzical look but I just shook my head at him.
A few of us went back to the old apartment to do some final cleaning. I was vacuuming and mopping the bathroom when I made a discovery. As I cleaned behind the toilet, I found a condom wrapper. Thoughts rushed through my mind. Who had used it? Certainly not Ben and I, that's for sure. I suppose Kylie and Adam could have, but if it was recent why would they bother when she was already pregnant? The likeliest possibility was the act that had happened in this very room. I couldn't recall whether George had used one or not, but if he did that would explain why there was a wrapper in the bathroom. The thought then crossed my mind that perhaps we had successfully used one. That would rule out George as a possibility of being the father of my child.
I exited the bathroom in a daze, wondering what the find could mean. Kylie was wiping the windows that looked out onto the balcony. She suddenly whipped around with her hands resting on her hips, spray bottle in one hand and cloth in the other.
"Why now? That's all I'd like to know," she exclaimed, seemingly thinking out loud.
"What are you talking about?" I asked incredulously.
"Why are they getting married now? Isn't there too much going on?"
So, she was still hung up on the news that Ringo had proposed to Maureen.
"They've been together for ages and they're starting a family so what do you expect?"
Well, it seems that I had let slip a fact that was unknown to Kylie for she soon spat, "What?"
I echoed the word back to her, questioning her.
"Starting a family? Is she pregnant?"
"Oh. Uh, yes, I believe so. Well their son is born in September so I guess she must've just found out."
This seemed like a blow to Kylie. I thought she was over Ringo but maybe she wasn't.
"Huh, and why didn't he propose to me?" she asked airily. "I mean, I was pregnant before she was."
"Maybe because you and Ringo aren't together. And maybe because we don't know whether Ringo is the father of your baby."
This failed to placate her. I didn't know what she wanted me to say.
"It's just a bit too close to home," she sighed, turning back to the window.
•••
Later that night, we were mostly settled into the new house. There were still a few things to unpack and put away but everyone's beds were made and everyone's space was defined. We sat down in the new dining room for our first family meal at 24 Chapel Street.
"I'm just glad we've all got bedrooms now," Adam declared with a mouthful of food, "No offence, guys."
"I agree, it's much nicer to have some personal space," Jenny concurred.
"Especially when our family is about to grow by two," added Ethel with a warm smile directed at Kylie and me. Across the table, George winked at me. He, Ringo and Paul stayed for tea. Of course, my heart fluttered. I couldn't help it; it was an involuntary reaction that happened every time George did something cute like that.
"Can I just say," I found myself interjecting, "That we really appreciate the support everyone has shown us. It would have been just as easy for you guys to kick us out or be disapproving of us, or even lock us up, given that this is 1965 and we are unwed teen mothers. But the fact that we are still here, with a support group and an entire floor of the house just for us, is such a blessing."
I don't know where it came from. I guess I was just overwhelmed and in disbelief that we had not been shunned by our family.
"Absolutely," Kylie beside me agreed.
"Well, of course we're supporting you," Brian responded, "We are a family, through good and bad times, and it's not entirely your fault that this has happened. I know it is frowned upon in this society but it is different when it is happening under your own roof. And don't forget, there are others at this table who are involved in this as well."
As lovely as his sentiment was, bringing up the potential fathers was slightly awkward. I could see Ben shifting uncomfortably in the silence. George smiled slightly to himself. As far as I knew, Ben, Adam, Jack, Brian and Paul were the only ones here who were unaware of George's involvement in the situation. I was afraid for a moment that someone was going to let slip when Brian continued talking.
"On that note, Ringo has an exciting announcement to make," he said, and all eyes swiveled to Ringo, who choked on the roast lamb he had been shoveling.
"Oh, uh, yes," he fumbled, swallowing his mouthful and wiping gravy from his chin as he stood up, "I've asked Mo to marry me, and she said yes."
"That's amazing!" Jenny gushed.
"Congratulations," Paul responded, clapping Ringo on the back.
"Yes, we will be getting married next week," added Ringo.
Beside me, Kylie 'coughed' loudly, a cough that sounded like the word "shotgun".
"Kylie!" I warned.
Peter let out a whistle of surprise.
"Is it really?" Ethel asked Ringo, but he just furrowed his brows.
"Can confirm," I answered, raising my fork.
It was clear that not all of us knew what the word meant. Jenny looked confused.
"I don't understand," she said, looking around at us.
"It's a knobstick wedding," Ethel told her, inducing a gasp in response. I hadn't heard that term before.
"Wait, how do you know?" Ringo asked. "We haven't told anyone yet."
All heads automatically swiveled to me. At first I was abashed but, used to the accusations by now, proudly answered: "I knew it was coming up. I've been waiting to see if it still happens. It appears so."
"And so you told Kylie?" Ringo asked in an accusatory tone.
"It just slipped out. I should have told her anyway; she has a right to know."
"Why does she?"
"Because it could have been me!" Kylie suddenly yelled. "I didn't see you procuring a ring when I found out I was pregnant!"
"Well, am I the father? Hmm? Exactly, you don't know. I know that Mo is pregnant with my baby."
And then Kylie did something that shocked me. She turned her angry gaze from Ringo to George.
"George, if you were in Ringo's position, what would you do?" she asked him.
I stiffened. George looked taken aback at having the question sprung on him. He looked around at us all in bewilderment. Was this deliberate of Kylie? What was she trying to achieve here? There were some at the table (most importantly, Ben) who were unaware that George in fact wasin Ringo's position.
"I, uh, I guess I would do what was right. Especially if the other guy didn't want to be involved."
His answer didn't shock me; it was just not the one I was hoping for. George had as good as asked me to move in with him before. We briefly joined eyes across the table and a wave of feelings washed over me. George then looked up at Ringo. Ringo, arms crossed, gave George an incredulous look and said, "Go on, then."
At that moment, multiple people interjected and some stood up. There was a chorus of scraping chairs, "that's enough Ringo", "stop it", and an "anyone for dessert?" from Jenny. I was touched that they all immediately stepped in to protect my secret.
"Sorry, Jen, but I think I'll just go home," Ringo said, scowling at the table in general as he stormed out.
"I'm going to head out too," said George, a little kinder than Ringo, "The roast was divine as usual."
He gave Jenny a quick peck on the cheek as he followed Ringo out.
The rest of us were left, some sitting and some standing, in an awkward silence. Then my anger grew. I aggressively stood up, shot daggers with my eyes at Kylie, took my plate and dumped it in the kitchen. I ran downstairs to the bedroom I now shared with Kylie. How could she do that to me? I get that she was angry with Ringo, but she didn't need to take it out on me. I refused to go back upstairs for the rest of the night – instead I had a shower and got into bed.
I was curled up, lying there with the lights on doing nothing, when someone came into the room. I saw it was Peter, coming to have a talk with me.
"What the actual fuck?" I exclaimed, finally having someone to vent my frustrations to.
"I don't know," he sighed.
"Was she tryingto reveal my secret? Or was she trying to get George and I together?"
"I think she was just angry and hurt."
"Why did she have to take it out on me? I was sticking up for her. And Ringo went along with it!"
"I can't say why Ringo did that. Maybe he's jealous that you and George still have a good relationship when he and Kylie don't."
Peter amazed me with the things he knew sometimes. His intuition and ability to gauge what people were feeling was a gift. He turned and then Kylie came up behind him. Peter grinned at me with raised eyebrows then went back upstairs.
Kylie came into the room looking somewhat apologetic. I just rolled over and ignored her.
"You can't ignore me, we share a bed," she said.
"You can sleep somewhere else," I retorted, not looking at her.
"Come on," she pled. "I'm sorry."
"Why the hell did you do that?"
I was looking at her now, a scowl etched on my face.
"It's not fair. Why do I get all the shit?"
"What shit? No one says anything."
"You know that everyone's thinking it. I have three possible fathers and you only have two, as far as everyone knows."
"Well, actually, I think you'll find that most of them do know about George and me."
"Yeah, I was confused about that display out there. Who's in the loop?"
"Everyone except Ben, Adam and Brian. And Jack, I guess, but he doesn't need to know."
"You know if he's the last to find out he'll be even more hurt," she said, flopping down on the bed next to me.
"I couldn't give a rat's arse how hurt he'll be."
"Come on, we both know that's not true."
"I'm really at the end of my tether, Kylie. He's fucked me around long enough."
There was a long silence where we just laid there. Eventually I asked the question I did not know the answer to.
"Do you ship me with Ben or George?" I asked.
"What type of question is that?" she queried incredulously.
"Well I know the others' stance on it. Yours, however, is unclear. You've shown favour for both parties."
"What, did you get everyone to vote on it?"
"I did, actually. Most were in favour of Ben. I had one George vote."
"You know this is extremely awkward for me, right? Given we are discussing whether you should be with my uncle or not."
"You can't tell me you see him as your uncle and not a friend."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to say who you think I should be with – George or Ben."
"You shouldbe with whoever the father of you baby is, but since we don't know that… I mean, there are pros and cons of each. It's hard to pick, because you and George have such incredible chemistry and he adores you. On the other hand, it's clear as day that your heart lies with Ben."
It wasn't a definitive answer, but she was right. While George and I were great friends and he was ready to do anything for me, Ben was the one I really wanted.
"We've got to stop doing this to each other," I huffed. "We are supposed to be each other's rocks. We are in the same boat and the same bed. We can't keep fighting and tearing each other down. What you did tonight was not cool."
"I know, I'm sorry. I agree."