Regina gave her hospital kid a kiss on the forehead and left him a note by his bed, on top of all of his gift swag. She'd come back over lunch to check on him, at least.
Then she walked back home.
She was exhausted and her whole body ached.
Regina crawled back into the genkan and waved to ANBU Cat, who nodded and then quietly left.
Naruto was still sleeping. He was in his adorable little sleeping hat and snoring up a storm.
She decided to take a shower before waking him up. He was the one that was clean.
After her shower, she admired the hot onsen longingly. She looked at the clock. 6:30. She had time.
The onsen felt good on her sore muscles, and she wriggled her way into her silky silky clothes. When she came back into the bedroom, Naruto was waking up.
"Hey there, monkey." She tickled his stomach and relished the peals of surprised laughter. He convulsed and then swung up to affix himself around her neck.
He really liked being up there, huh.
"Monkey, you need to get dressed. I can't take you to breakfast if you aren't dressed."
He was off like a shot, peeling off pajamas like a banana skin.
"Hey! Don't strip in front of people, you gotta do that in some sort of privacy." She called, "Anyone who wants to see you naked at the tender age of 8 does NOT have your best interests at heart."
She instantly regretted saying that, because of how children are.
But he seemed to take that at face value, and thankfully did not pepper her at breakfast about who would want to see him naked in public. She knew that was only a matter of time, though.
She watched as he stuffed himself full of eggs.
"Eat slower, you're not going to starve. You might choke." She was on her third cup of coffee now, but she'd need it for the long winter.
Plus, the Sandaime drank the office coffee almost as fast as anyone could make it. If she didn't get her caffeine fix in now, the likelihood that she'd get any at all nearly disappeared.
"Can we bring Sasuke some breakfast, too?" Naruto talked with his mouth full. Some egg fell out.
Sasuke probably wouldn't be awake, but she figured it couldn't hurt. He probably was hungry, and encouraging Naruto's thoughtful impulses was definitely Good Parenting. "Yes, but please don't talk with food in your mouth. If I'm a princess, you're a prince, and you need to have manners." She sipped the last of the sugary dregs and ordered the next one.
She had to meet with their teachers, a two hour long shodo class that Naruto would have to attend, and probably would be hearing back about that etiquette teacher.
Regina pushed down past traumatic thoughts. Going through finishing school had been a months-long nightmare.
What was irking her was the suspicion that all the teaching would amount to 'everything is the opposite now, because fuck you in particular'. It was just a feeling.
Naruto ordered Sasuke a massive breakfast of everything he didn't get to try, which seemed like overkill, but whatever. Regina ordered a bunch of coffees to be put in a tray and delivered to the nurses, because they were going through some shit and she liked it when medical professionals loved her.
Heroes, all of them.
They showed up, and Regina and her cafe helper carefully arranged the trays of hot coffee and tea at the nurses station. They disappeared so fast it almost gave her whiplash.
She thanked her helper and went down the hallway, where Naruto had immediately shot off. He was concerned that Sasuke's breakfast would go cold.
Sasuke was sitting up, looking confused and slightly apprehensive. Naruto was holding up chopsticks to his mouth.
"Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun's arms and hands work just fine. You don't need to feed him, though your love and concern are good." Regina swept Naruto away out of Sasuke's personal space and onto a comfy chair.
"Good morning, Sasuke-kun. Do you remember me?"
He took a moment to focus on her, big black doe eyes squinting.
"...Yes. I think so." His voice sounded hoarse.
"That's good." She readjusted the platter of food on his lap. "I hope you're hungry, Naruto insisted on bringing you breakfast."
He grunted softly, and looked down at it. She recovered a second pair of chopsticks she'd gotten for insurance purposes (children), and gave them to him.
"I took you to Tsunade-hime last night, if you remember that. How are you feeling today?"
He looked at her blankly.
"Bad, I'm guessing." She asserted. "That's ok. Tsunade-hime and Shizune-san said you would need to stay here for a week, and you need to sleep. But I'll be by every day as much as I can."
He looked at Naruto, asking a question with his eyes.
"Hey Naruto-kun?" She asked. She handed him some coins. "Could you go get Sasuke-kun a tea from the machine upstairs? It's a very important mission."
His eyes went wide the instant the word 'mission' dropped out of her mouth, and he ran off like a shot.
She shut the door behind him quietly.
"I'm sure this is a surprise. And none of it's great." she said quietly, sitting by Sasuke's bed. "Do you remember why you're in the hospital?"
He nodded, something catching in his throat. "Itachi…"
She let him talk, but reached out to put her hand on his back. He leaned into the warmth and touch.
"My family is dead, aren't they?" His voice cracked.
Christ, this was probably a job for someone who knew him better. Or someone that wasn't currently feeling the pull of the abyss because they were also forever separated from everyone they knew and loved.
That or it meant she and Sasuke would trauma-bond real hard.
"Yes, I believe so." She answered, watching him carefully. She hoped he wouldn't start hyperventilating. Tsunade had said that his tiny heart had been stressed quite a bit by that genjutsu, and she didn't want him to have some sort of attack.
"And Itachi?" He asked. Tears were rolling down his face and onto his blanket. She started rubbing her palm in circles between his shoulder blades.
"He left Konoha."
He sniffed up some of the snot that was running out of his nose.
"You're safe now." She promised, even though she couldn't personally guarantee it. Well actually, if this place continued to be shitty she would take Tsunade's advice and take these two babies on the road.
Maybe she and Shizune could start a family band. It sounded less stressful and dangerous, at least.
"You saved me." He said, wiping his snot and tears on his sleeve. Ew.
"I helped." She said simply. "Tsunade-hime cured you, the doctors and nurses took care of you, and Might Gai-san brought you all the way to her and back."
"What happens now?" Sasuke asked, looking around the room at all the flowers. She was glad they'd decorated. At least it was a visual reminder that he wasn't entirely alone.
She hummed. "Well, I asked for guardianship of you, because you didn't have one. You can live with me and Naruto-kun, if you want. I assume we'll need to take care of your family house at some point, but we can do that together."
Regina leaned closer and hugged him lightly. He gripped into her clothes tightly.
His breathing slowed.
"If you want or need anything, just tell me, ok?" She whispered into his hair. He nodded. "It's going to be hard. You know that. But you're not alone, and you'll be ok."
She kissed the top of his head, because it seemed like the thing to do. He didn't register it either way.
"Is there anything you want right now?" She asked, slowly pulling away. Naruto would be back soon, and didn't need to immediately hear all the gory details. Children were horrendously bad at keeping secrets.
"My clothes?" Sasuke sniffled. "And my dinosaur."
"It'll be done." Regina ruffled his fluffy hair. "A lot of your classmates gave me things to bring you- I don't know whether they'll make you feel better or worse. Unfortunately, other children don't understand what happened. So let me know what you want to do with that."
He nodded.
"I'll bring your things over my lunch break in a few hours- try to get some sleep. You're supposed to sleep as much as you can stand it, ok?"
Naruto barreled through the door like an enthusiastic battering ram, and chucked a can of tea at Sasuke's head.
Sasuke caught it.
"Please don't throw heavy cold cans of metal at people." She intoned. His manners were horrendous. "You can hand people things."
"I used hands!" Naruto jumped up and onto her torso, clinging. Once his legs were good and attached, he wriggled his hands in her face to make his point.
"I see." She looked at Sasuke. "I'm sure Naruto will be coming by to see you often- I hope you two get along well."
"Come on Naruto, you have to go to school."
"Why doesn't he have to come?" Naruto whined, and pointed. She carefully and gently lowered his rude little hand.
"He's sick." She said, ending the discussion. "We'll see when he can go back, but it's not today."
So they said their goodbyes, and she dropped Naruto off at school by eight thirty. Just as she was required to do.
'Okay so I was truly stupid for adopting two kids, but so far nothing is on fire and nobody died. I call that an unqualified success.'
Regina drug herself the half-block to the Hokage Tower with trepidation. Today had already been too exciting. She wasn't sure she was up for whatever these weirdos had to offer.
Three hours later, she was politely reminding a genin team that they shouldn't track blood in on the Hokage's carpet. She may or may not have accidentally used some mild killing intent.
Animals.
"They're just children." The Hokage said with amusement, watching them go. "It happens."
'It just happens that they bring a puddle of someone else's blood into your office?'
"This experience is not universal." She said dryly, watching one of the preteens helplessly grind the blood into the fabric to destroy the evidence.
The disembodied head they were holding (that she refused to look at) remained unbagged and continued to drip on the carpet.
'Thanks for that, I definitely won't have nightmares about this for the rest of my life.'
She let their ridiculous Jounin sensei talk with increasing nervousness about their mission and how they had brought in a head with a significant bounty.
Evidently he'd left the usual plastic wrap, or sealing scroll, or whatever this donkey farmer usually used to ferry decomposing body parts from place to place at home.
They wrapped up the meeting, and then the Hokage had her sit in on a few more debriefings before turning her loose.
"Is it cleared if I need to go in the Uchiha clan complex?" She asked, after snagging her jacket and purse. "I promised Sasuke-kun that I'd get him some things."
"It's not dangerous and you're the only adult with any vague reason to be there, so yes." The Sandaime took a puff of his afternoon 'lunch'. Dude smoked so so much. How he was alive was a medical mystery.
"Has it… been cleaned?" She asked. She tried not to wince.
He nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, I believe so. All the blood was cleaned up and the bodies were cremated."
"Cheery. Thank you, Hokage-sama." She bowed and left the room, before someone else could accost her with something disgusting or ask her to move something on a high shelf.
She had had no decision whatsoever in being tall, but she regretted it immensely.
The Uchiha complex was conveniently close to her new home. And the snake shack.
Regina watched a team of sad-looking Genin build the foundations for her castle, and resisted the urge to smile.
'Hey, at least it's a safe mission. What's that thing Grandma used to say? Oh, yes. Suffering builds character.'
She walked through the gate and stopped involuntarily. The difference was stark. It was like walking into a cold room. And just being there felt deeply unpleasant. Fear and apprehension were palpable in the air.
There were so many houses- it was about the size of the small town Regina had grown up in. It was all clustered together, with their own little businesses and small gardens.
Except it was enclosed by a fence and had used to house only one family.
It was fairly easy to identify the main house, which was apparently where Sasuke had lived.
It was eerie, walking through that space. Two weeks ago it had been bustling with people.
Now they were all dead, except for Sasuke and his brother, who may or may not have been a traitor.
That office meeting had been a hell of a trip.
She slid open the doors to the main house and stepped in, removing her shoes at the genkan. Even as she did it, she wondered who she was doing it for. It wasn't like anyone was watching.
It almost would have felt better if she had the feeling that someone was was just nothing. This place wasn't full of ghosts. It was cold and barren.
Whoever had cleaned up the blood had left everything else- there was a pot of tea on the counter.
She looked at that a long time. Cold tea, oversteeped, probably molding. This had been a family home. Now it was silent.
It made her feel vaguely queasy.
She walked from room to room, because she had no idea where the hell Sasuke's was.
She found his parents' by accident.
There was a chest of drawers with the same fan crest on it. Regina resisted the urge to look inside. That was private.
She very well might be the one to have to clean it out, but she'd be damned if she did it before even telling Sasuke about it. She didn't know what was precious to him to keep.
She couldn't help but look at the pictures, though. They'd been a beautiful family. Sasuke's father was a stern-looking man. Their mother looked gorgeous and serene.
Sasuke was smiling, snuggled up against another boy.
The boy who must have been Itachi had bags under his eyes for days, and looked far too serious.
Christ, he was young. Regina didn't know how old he was, but he just looked like a baby, too. She thought he'd have been older.
'Even the children here are killers. I'm in so far over my head.'
She turned away.
Eventually, she found Sasuke's room. She determined that by her excellent detective skills- it was the only room with babyish toys in it.
She identified the important dinosaur and put it into her purse. It was too big. Its head stuck out, like it was surveying the room with her.
Regina rifled the drawers, and came up with a large selection of clean clothes. Someone must have just done laundry before…
It didn't bear thinking about. Somehow the mundanity made it all the more horrible.
She left the room and house as quickly as possible, eager to be somewhere alive. It seemed to take far too long to find her way out. She didn't remember whether Japanese houses were always this confusing, or if this was a shinobi affectation.
She resented it because this place was creepy as hell. The hallway opened up to a small garden in the center. There was a koi pond and some greenery over white stones.
She stopped in her tracks on the wooden hallway floor.
'Those fish have to be hungry.'
She swallowed, hard, and pushed down the slow-burn fear she felt every moment that she stood in this place. She started opening doors, hoping to find a closet. In a home this lovely and well-maintained, the homeowner had probably had the sense to keep fish food near the fish pond. Her intuition was right. The fish food was in a canvas bag, on the lowest shelf of the nearest closet.
The lowest shelf.
'I bet this was Sasuke's chore.'
She tried, but she couldn't imagine him doing it. She had seen him crying, unconscious, clinging, distraught. She couldn't imagine a normal little boy cheerfully throwing too much food to the family fish.
When she threw it in, the particles only floated on the surface for bare seconds before fat fish vacuumed them up. Greedy mouths kept breeching the surface, demanding more. So she did, watching the food all disappear just as quickly the second time.
Regina had probably thrown out too much- but it felt slightly better than letting the things starve. She replaced the food, put on her shoes, and hustled out past the empty buildings.
When she got out of the gate, she let out a breath she didn't know how long she'd been holding. It was like it was a liminal space. A small town with no one in it didn't feel like a good place to linger, even if she hadn't known about the murders.
That happened less than a month ago.
Something creaked behind her- probably just a house settling. Or the wind blowing something.
Except there wasn't even a breeze.
Regina swallowed the fear that inspired and headed off towards the hospital. If someone or something was there, her lizard-brain told her that she didn't want them to see her flinch.
Sasuke was sleeping when she came around again-which was good. She didn't really have the time to linger. She put the dinosaur on his bed, and the clothes on the table.
She was back at the Tower in time to let in the Hokage's first afternoon appointment.