Percy was standing on top of the water tower with Nico, Leo, and Frank. They were spray painting something green on the side of the water tower while Annabeth and Hazel sat looking out over Point Place.

"From up here, Point Place looks like Paris," Hazel said in awe to Annabeth.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You think that looks like Paris? Gods, no wonder you think Frank is attractive."

Hazel playfully nudged Annabeth's shoulder.

"I'm attractive," Frank muttered.

Nico shoved Frank's shoulder. "Come on, man, shut up and keep painting."

Leo hopped off the box he was standing on and excitedly pointed up at their painting. "It's done!" He laughed in delight as the boys took a step back to look at their handiwork while the girls turned their heads to see.

"Gentlemen, we have finally done it. A pot leaf on the water tower," Percy said with pride.

Frank wiped a tear from his eye. "This is the proudest moment of my life."

Nico was silent as he looked the leaf over. Something was off about it… "It doesn't look like a pot leaf," he murmured. When the rest of them looked to him in confusion, he gestured towards the painting and added, "It looks like a hand giving the finger."

"Well," Leo said with a roll of his eyes, "it doesn't have to look perfect, Nico! It's art!"

Shoving Leo hard, Nico pointed upwards. "Get up there and make it better."

"Fine!" Leo shouted. He climbed up onto the railing of the tower to get a better angle.

Below him, he heard Nico giving him helpful advice and orders. He was reaching up to make part of the leaf wider, per Nico's orders, when he felt himself shift backwards. There was a moment of exhilarating weightlessness before gravity took ahold of him and he went plummeting down.

Hazel and Annabeth jumped to their feet the second Leo went flying past them. "Ohmygods, Leo!" Hazel shouted.

Leo landed in some bushes with a loud crash. The first thing he was aware of was Nico shouting down to him. "Yeah?" Leo called out.

"How's it look from down there?" Nico hollered.

Looking up, Leo thought for a second before replying, "It looks like it's giving me the finger."

(***)

The gang walked into Percy's living room; Leo was holding his arm close to his chest. Hazel was insisting that they go to the hospital but Leo was terrified of his parents finding out.

He flicked his wrist in an attempt to show that he was fine when a searing pain scorched its way up his arm. "Ow! Oh!" he screamed.

"Okay, my dad's got some basic medical training," Percy said. "I'm gonna go wake him up and maybe he can… fix Leo."

Nico shook his head. "Paul's gonna kill us."

"Well," Percy said with a shrug, "it's Leo's fault for falling off the water tower."

Percy made it up the stairs and to his parent's bedroom. He heard a song playing softly from a radio in the room. With a quirked eyebrow, Percy opened the door, only to find his parents in the midst of a passionate round of sex. Slamming the door closed, Percy bolted back down the stairs and stood before his friends looking haggard and terrified.

"Everybody in the car," Percy ordered.

Leo scrunched up his nose in confusion. "Where's your dad?"

Percy grabbed Leo by the shoulders and shook him. "Shut up. Don't you dare talk about my father."

(***)

They made it to the hospital and Leo got taken back relatively quickly due to there being so few people in the emergency room at that hour. Percy was sitting in a chair while Nico lounged on the bed, forcing Leo to sit on the edge of his own hospital bed. Hazel, Frank, and Annabeth were standing around waiting.

Leo was on the phone with his mother trying to explain why he was in the hospital. "No, Mama, there was no way it could have been avoided… ¡Si! ¡Uh, si! La vaca me pateo cuando le di la vuelta. I'm not lying! Okay, alright. Love you, too, Mama." He hung up the phone before turning to his friends. "She totally bought that."

Annabeth made her way over to Percy who was acting very squirrelly. "Seaweed Brain, you all right?"

Percy jumped in his seat. "They were sleeping!" he said quickly.

Before she could talk herself out of it, Hazel made her way over to Leo. "Hey, how're you feeling?"

Leo sniffed as he held up his injured arm. "I'm in a lot of pain."

"Oh, gods, I'm so sorry," Hazel cooed.

Percy rolled his eyes before standing up from his seat. "Alright, alright, that's it. I'm going home; so, whoever wants a ride, let's go."

Nico hopped off the bed when Leo stopped him. "Hey, sorry about tonight, eses."

"Sorry, why?" Nico said with a laugh. "We got to watch you fall, man! I had a blast."

Hazel punched Nico in the arm and gave him a look of disbelief to which Nico responded with a shrug and a smirk.

Annabeth rolled her eyes before waving at Leo. "See ya."

The three of them left, leaving Frank and Hazel with the injured Valdez. Hazel crossed her arms and shook her head. "Nico is such a jerk. This was all his fault."

Leo blinked at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Who said the pot leaf wasn't good enough?" Hazel asked.

Thinking for a second, Leo answered, "Nico."

"Mhmm. And who said you should lean out further?" Hazel continued.

"Nico," Leo answered again.

Hazel gestured to the door that Nico had just left through. "So, who made you fall out of the water tower?"

Leo held up his hands. "No, no, no, no, wait, Hazel, that's crazy. Nico's like my best friend."

"No, no, no, Brian Piccalo and Gayle Sayers were best friends," Hazel argued.

"The Brian Song," Leo said, getting distracted. "I love that movie."

"See, Leo, Gayle held Brian's hand and cried," Hazel pointed out. "And gave him sips of cool water in his hospital bed. So, where are you now?"

Leo glanced around him. "I'm in a hospital bed."

"And where is Nico?"

Sitting up in his seat, Leo's brow furrowed. "Well, he isn't giving me sips of cool water, that's for sure."

(***)

The Jacksons were sitting in their kitchen eating dinner. Paul was complaining, "Well, we've got vandals in this town. I was driving home and I saw the water tower giving me the finger."

Calypso turned to look at a pale Percy. "Vandals, you say? Hmm, where were you last night, Percy?"

"Oh, can it, Calypso," Sally said. "Percy, you look pale. Let me see your eyes. Look at me." Percy glanced up and all he could see was his mother naked. "Do you have a fever?"

Percy turned to find Paul naked, as well.

"I know what you need," Paul said. "Right after breakfast, I want you to mow the lawn. Fresh air will do you good."

Sally wiped at something out from between her breasts, much to Percy's horror. "Percy, is something bothering you."

Percy looked back and forth between them. "God, make it stop!" He jumped up and left the room as quickly as he could.

(***)

Percy replayed walking in on Paul and Sally in his mind. He woke up with a scream. Looking over at his clock and sees that it says it's ten minutes past four in the morning. Throughout the night, Percy continued to wake up every ten minutes until his radio finally signalled for him to get up. He threw his blanket over his head and groaned loudly.

(***)

Paul and Sally were sitting at the kitchen table. Sally was reading a pamphlet titled 'Is Johnny High?'.

She pointed to the pamphlet. "Well, ok, now, so far Percy is nine out of ten. He's got, he's got bloodshot eyes, mood swings, irregular appetite, odd sleeping patterns, oh, Paul! Our Johnny is high!"

Rolling his eyes, Paul replied, "Sal, that's nonsense. He's not on drugs, he's just weird."

Percy came stumbling down the stairs with his jacket half on and dropped his books. He stared at his books for a second before bending over to pick them up.

"Morning, hungry?" Sally asked as she points to the pamphlet for Paul to see.

Paul rolled his eyes again as Percy replied, "I overslept and I'm late for school… it's… um, bye."

He left the house and Paul's eyes widened. "That kid's on dope."

Sally nodded. "I'll say. It's Sunday."

(***)

The gang was sitting in the Jackson's basement watching television.

Reyna shook her head at the television. "These after school specials are ridiculous. I mean, who thinks it takes only one beer to turn a cheerleader into a whore?"

"You know, Reyna, this show contains an important message," Piper argued. "That very thing happened to a good friend of mine."

With a snort, Reyna shook her head again.

"Man, that is one drunk, slutty cheerleader," Nico said with disinterest as Will sat down in front of him.

Annabeth's eyes widened. " There go her pom-poms."

Percy jumped up and turned off the television. "Alright, that is enough. Everywhere I look now it's sex, sex, sex! Well, it's disgusting and I for one will not have it in my basement."

"Are you okay, Percy?' Annabeth asked with concern.

With a huff, Percy answered, "Oh,well, excuse me, Annabeth, for having a little moral fiber." He sat down as Hazel stood up.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go check on Leo," Hazel said as she dusted off her purple skirt.

Nico playfully tugged a strand of Will's hair. "Oh, yeah, how's he doing?"

Hazel crossed her arms and glared at him. "Yeah, like you care. Why don't you just apologize?"

Staring at his stepsister in shocked confusion, Nico replied, "Apologize for what?"

"Well, if you don't know, then obviously you're a big, fat jerk," Hazel said before storming out of the room.

Nico looked to Will and Percy with a bewilderment and found them staring back at him. "Okay, she's nuts."

Will nodded. "I know, what was that?"

(***)

Percy stood in the kitchen watching toast pop up out of the toaster when his step-sister walked in. She tapped him on the shoulder and Percy jumped a foot in the air.

"Get off my mom," Percy shouted. When his sister gave him a weird look he quickly said, "What?"

Calypso squinted at him. "What is it with you? You've been extra loser-y lately."

Percy swallowed thickly. "I saw Mom and Dad having sex."

In shock, Calypso wraps her brother up in a comforting hug. She patted his back soothingly as she cooed, "Oh, you poor thing! It's alright, it's okay. Oh, baby's fine."

"Oh, Calypso," Percy cried, "it was horrible and I can't get the image out of my mind! I mean, it was mom and dad, but they were… they were like a pair of wildebeests on a National Geographic special."

He clung to his sister as he imagined what that National Geographic special would look like.

(***)

A plant shook in the Jackson's living room as an announcer spoke.

"Deep in the unexplored psyche of a confused young man in the wilderness called Wild New York," the announcer explained as Percy popped out from behind the plant. "After several days of tracking, we've finally located the den of the wily Paul. Here we see 'Suburbus sexmaniacus' tracking his prey through the living room."

Paul was mixing a drink at the Jackson's bar while Sally applied make-up on the couch.

"Observe," the announcer said, "as the male indicates his interest in mating by making loud, aggressive noises." Paul turned on the blender and mixed it's contents together. "The female's attractive double-knit pantsuit and scarlet lips signal her readiness." Sally applied lipstick and closed her compact. "This display is not lost on the male."

Paul stood up, holding two glasses and approached Sally. He handed her a glass, they clinked glasses and began to drink. Then they turned to each other and began to make out.

(***)

Back in the Jackson's kitchen, Calypso was holding Percy's hand and talking to him. "Percy, I am so sorry. But you have to understand that Mom and Dad are in love. They have urges and needs, just like us."

Percy shook his head quickly from side to side. "No urges. No needs."

Calypso backed away from her brother, giving him some space. "I learned in psychology class that what you went through is traumatic. But don't worry, many people have had this same experience."

"Really? And they turned out all right?" Percy asked hopefully.

She nodded, then stopped and gave him a nervous look. "Well, some of them turned out to be serial killers, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence." With a wave of her hand, she added, "But, whatever."

Percy stared at his sister and nodded his head slowly. "You know the sad thing is I think you're actually trying to be nice."

"Yeah," Calypso said as she rubbed her arm. "It's not my strong suit. Sorry."

With a small smile, Percy asked, "So, I'll be alright?"

Calypso stared at him for a second. "No."

(***)

Annabeth and Percy were sitting in the car when Annabeth yawned and stretched her arms out. She rubbed his head while the song 'The Things We Do for Love' played on the radio.

"Wise Girl, I'm really not in the mood," Percy moped.

"Oh, come on," Annabeth joked, "I'm just trying to get a little action here."

Percy shook his head. "Annabeth, I just can't."

Annabeth smirked. "Come on, all the other guys are doing it." This got no response from Percy, so she tried a different approach. "What's going on? Are you mad at me or something?"

He looked at her for a long moment before answering. "I just… Annabeth, I saw my parents having sex."

Jumping back in shock, Annabeth shouted, "Oh, gods, ew!"

Percy just nodded his head in despairing acceptance.

Annabeth stared at him as if seeing him for the first time. "And you liked it, right?"

"Oh, gods, no!" Percy exclaimed. He noticed Annabeth's smile and shoved her. "That's sick. That was sick."

With a laugh, Annabeth said, "I'm kidding, Seaweed Brain, I'm kidding."

"Haha," Percy said mockingly. "Very funny."

Annabeth explained, "Alright, look, I'm gonna tell you something I've never told anybody else, okay? When I was twelve, I saw my parents doing it."

Surprised, Percy asked, "How did you get over it?"

"Well," Annabeth said after a moment, "at first I was like, completely freaked out. But then eventually the pain receded, and I was able to live again."

Percy shook his head. "I don't see this receding. I mean, I walked in on my parents and they were right in the middle."

"That's nothing," Annabeth said with a wave of her hand. "I caught my parents outside, in broad daylight, on the hammock. Where I used to read Daedalus' schematics and stuff."

"Wow, that is so much worse than mine," Percy admitted.

Annabeth thought for a second as she looked far away. "I can still remember little bits of naked skin peeking through the holes of the hammock." Percy laid a hand on her arm and asked if she was okay but Annabeth didn't hear him. "And later, they came inside, and they had this checkerboard pattern all over their arms and legs. And Dad laughed and said they fell asleep on the hammock. But I knew it was a lie. I knew what he did to my mom." She clamped a hand over her mouth.

Thinking about Annabeth's traumatic experience made Percy feel even worse. "You wanna just go home?"

Holding herself close, Annabeth nodded her head.

(***)

Leo was sitting between Hazel and Annabeth in the basement with Percy standing behind them and Nico sitting in his usual chair. Will was sitting on the arm of the couch closest to Nico.

"Oh, hey, look, Hazel, it's my friends," Leo said. "Percy, Annabeth, and Will. Yep, that's all my friends."

Nico didn't even bother turning his head. "Leo, if you have something to say to me. Why don't you just say it?"

"No, ohhhh, no," Leo said. He walked behind the chair Nico was sitting in and pointed to the back of his head. "I think you have something to say to me. And I'm gonna be right here when you're ready."

Nico kept watching television even when Will elbowed him in the side.

Percy raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Alright, this is stupid. Neeks, just apologize."

"Jackson, it's not my fault," Nico stated calmly.

Annabeth shifted in her seat to face Nico. "He thinks it is, though."

"It is," Leo insisted. "You made me fall off the water tower."

Finally, Nico turned in his seat to look at Leo with a cool gaze. "How? Did I push you? Did I make the railing slippery?"

"Well, no… but… no..." Leo answered hesitantly.

"Then how is it my fault?" Nico asked as he raised his eyebrows.

There was a pause before Leo responded. "Because, you didn't like my artwork." He looked to Hazel for reassurance and she gave him a thumbs up. "And you don't respect me, and you laugh at me, and you're inconsiderate of my feelings."

"Leo, no offense, but you sound like a chick," Nico said which earned him a smack on the arm from Will.

"Oh, yeah? Well," Leo stammered before he thought about what he was saying. He paused and then laughed. "Man, I do."

Nico stood up and approached Leo. He clapped him on the shoulder. "Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence and I hit my forehead on that tree branch? And I fell into your yard and your dog Festus bit me on the ass twice?"

Leo nodded as he smiled at the memory. "Yeah, you bled and you cried."

"I bled, I didn't cry," Nico grumbled.

With a smirk, Leo said, "Yeah, you did. You cried like a baby."

"And you laughed, man!" Nico laughed. "A lot. While I was bleeding. You see my point?"

Leo smiled. "Yeah, it's funny when friends get hurt."

Nico nodded slowly as he pursed his lips. "Close enough." He patted Leo on the back. "Sorry, man."

Leo smacked Nico on the arm and they both laughed while Hazel threw her hands up in the air. "Gods above, you're both idiots."

(***)

Percy was sitting in a chair by the kitchen table while his parents talked to him and Calypso stood nearby listening in.

"Honey," Sally started, "your father and I have noticed that you've been acting very strangely lately. Is there something you want to tell us?

Paul crossed his arms. "Are you on dope?"

Sally waved her hands nervously. "Because, because, we can help get you clean. There is counseling, hospitalization."

Percy furrowed his brow and he laughed. "Mom, Dad, I'm not on drugs."

Almost collapsing with relief, Sally said, "Oh, thank the gods! You have no idea how worried we were."

"Well, then what the hell's wrong with you?" Paul demanded to know.

Percy started to answer before he realized how awkward that conversation would be. Instead he gulped and answered with the only thing he could think of. "I'm on drugs."

Putting down the magazine she'd been reading, Calypso sighed. "Of for goodness sake. He saw you guys doing it. There, I helped!" With that, she turned and skipped out of the room.

Sally watched Calypso go before slowly turning to face her son. "Oh, sweetie, were your father and I having intercourse?"

"MOM!"

Paul's face went red as Sally said, "Well, no wonder you've been acting so weird. Paul, say something. Make him feel better."

"It's more fun than it looks?" Paul tried only to get a smack to the chest from his wife. "What? Well, what do you want me to say?"

Percy shook his head and held up a hand to stop them from making it even more uncomfortable. "No, no, you know what? You guys do it, and I'm okay with that. So, thanks?"

"Sure thing. Just knock next time, Perce," Paul said. With a nod, Percy left the room leaving Sally and Paul alone in the kitchen. "Damn, that was funny," Paul said it with a laugh.

Sally huffed. "Well, I don't know how funny it is, I mean, what if that had been you walking in on your parents?" There was a pause as Paul looked uncomfortable. "And your mother was a dancer, I imagine that would have been quite something."

"Quit it, Sally," Paul warned.

She tried to hug him but he moved away from her. He backed away when she tried again which just led to her chasing him around the kitchen, much to his dismay.