Disclaimer: I don't own ML.
Thanks to The Dimensional Reader, Shiranai Atsune, DragoonSensei, The Keeper of Worlds and yellow 14 for your reviews :)
"That was a rough one today," Ladybug says when she, Chat Noir, and Rena Rouge are sprawled in a circle on a rooftop after their post-akuma evening catch-up, on their backs with their heads up against each other.
"Yeah," Rena Rouge says. "A kissing zombie? And here I thought Chloé was trying to be better rather than ruining birthday gifts and getting our teacher akumatised. She went to Marinette's party, for god's sake, and she hates Marinette."
"Maybe she just relapsed?" Chat Noir says. "I know it can be hard to move past stuff that's so…well, force of habit. And she's had a bit of a rough family life."
"That's still no excuse," Ladybug says. "A friend of mine has also had a rough family life and he's one of the sweetest people I know. But…maybe Chloé does need support. Not coddling, but just enough support to keep her on the right track."
"Maybe Adrien?" Chat Noir says. "I've heard they were good friends."
"Especially not Adrien," Rena Rouge says immediately.
"From what I've heard, he broke off their friendship to force her to change," Ladybug agrees. "If he gives her an inch, she could take a mile and then decide not to change at all."
"He'd essentially be rewarding her for bad behaviour," Rena Rouge says.
"I know, I know…" Chat Noir sighs. "Just…I see a lot of myself in her, is all. My home life is rough too. I think the last time my father looked in my direction was, uh…huh. Actually, I can't remember."
"That's sad," Rena Rouge says. "Ladybug, can we adopt him? Pretty please?"
"Not that I wouldn't be bi cat mothers with you if given the chance, but I think people would notice," Ladybug says with a little laugh.
"Oh, please let me be adopted by gorgeous bi mums who could kick my arse," Chat Noir pleads.
"I'm technically pan but seconded," Rena Rouge says immediately. "Motion passed. Sucks to be Nino, but he knows that Ladybug's at the top of my freebie list."
"Freebie list?" Chat Noir says.
"You've never heard of a freebie list?" Ladybug says.
"Oh, you poor, sheltered child," Rena Rouge says. "The heart of every healthy relationship is honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities."
"If you just quoted Friends at me, I will actually take your Miraculous back and give it to someone else," Ladybug says.
"Do that and you'll drop to number two on my freebie list."
"I think I can live with that."
"It'd be nice if someone would tell me what a freebie list is," Chat Noir says.
"It's a list of five celebrities that you're allowed to sleep with if you, for some reason, managed to have the chance," Ladybug says. "And it's not considered cheating – they're "freebies"."
"…That's a thing?"
"Probably not," Rena Rouge says cheerfully. "It's probably just a joke. But Nino's agreed that I'm perfectly fine to do Ladybug so long as he gets to do Chat Noir."
Chat Noir splutters, and Ladybug's forced to cover her mouth to muffle the giggles that suddenly wrack her body, although that doesn't help since Chat Noir and Rena Rouge can probably still feel her laughter through where their heads are all in contact.
"Who's at the top of your list, guys?" Rena Rouge says. "Come on, I shared mine and Nino's with you, so you have to do the same!"
"I didn't agree to this!" Ladybug says.
"Does Ladybug count as a celebrity?" Chat Noir says in a slightly high-pitched voice.
"Nope," Rena Rouge says. "You guys don't count for each other. Come on, out with it!"
"Oh, fine," Ladybug huffs. "The celebrity at the top of my list is…Clara Nightingale. She was my bi awakening."
"Oooh, really?" Rena Rouge says. "Can't say you've got bad taste! Who's yours, alley cat?"
"I don't know!" Chat Noir says. "I haven't exactly given this much thought!"
"Fine, fine," Rena Rouge says. "Like the merciful fox I am, I'll let you think about it. But I do expect an answer next time."
"How generous of you," Chat Noir says dryly. No one says anything after that, instead basking in the silence of the Parisian night, with the sounds of the city almost a backdrop to their little superhero bubble on the rooftop.
"Sorry I got caught by the zombies as Alya, by the way," Rena Rouge eventually says. "Wish I could've gotten away to transform."
"Hey, don't beat yourself up," Chat Noir says. "I got smooched as well."
"Yeah, sacrificing yourself for Ladybug so she could beat on Zombizou," Rena Rouge grumbles. "Not 'cause you were careless."
"It's only your second akuma as Rena, and you weren't even transformed," Ladybug says. "Chat and I made so many mistakes when we first started."
"Speak fur yourself," Chat Noir says. "I'm purrfect."
Ladybug and Rena Rouge groan at the night sky.
"Don't make me pull out all the embarrassing stories I've got of you from when we were rookies," Ladybug says. "Like that time when we were facing El Mago and you –"
"Okay, okay!" Chat Noir hastens to say. "You've made your point, milady, brutal as you are."
Rena Rouge snickers. "God, I still can't believe I actually get to hear your banter like this."
"It's really not that great," Ladybug says. "When you've heard one cat pun, you've heard them all."
"Meowch," Chat Noir says. "You wound me, bugaboo."
"Tragic," Ladybug deadpans. There's a sigh and then Rena Rouge's presence disappears as she pushes herself to sit up. A moment later, the soft sound of flute music fills the night air.
"A serenade? So I can woo my lady?" Chat Noir says. "You shouldn't have!"
"You wish," Ladybug says, even though her traitorous heart skips a beat at the thought of Chat Noir wooing her. Not that he knows she's Marinette, so she can't exactly come out and say that oops, she's changed her mind, she'd very much like for him to pursue her. Or purrsue, as he'd say.
Goddammit, now he's even got her punning.
For a few moments, there's silence while Ladybug and Chat Noir listen to Rena Rouge's song, which is just so tantalisingly familiar – what is it? When the realisation hits Ladybug, she bolts upright and turns to narrow her eyes at Rena Rouge.
"Are you playing the Mario theme song?" Ladybug says. Rena Rouge smiles as innocently as she can while still playing her flute.
"Oh my god," Chat Noir cackles as he shoots up too. "Ladybug, you can't call me a dork anymore. I've never played Mario on my baton before!"
"I'm sure you would if you could," Ladybug mutters.
Rena Rouge plays a little longer before lowering her flute and allowing the last few notes to fade into the night air. Then she groans and pushes herself to her feet.
"As fun as it's been hanging out with you two," she says, "I gotta get back home before I have to start bribing Nora for looking after Ella and Etta."
"If you ever can't make it to a battle or a patrol, don't force yourself," Ladybug says as Chat Noir stands up and offers her his hand, and she accepts it with warm cheeks. "Your support's really appreciated, but we know you've got responsibilities of your own."
"And you two don't?" Rena Rouge says.
"Of course we do," Chat Noir says, then winks. "But not everyone can be as ameowzing as me and my lady."
"What he means is that Paris has always been our responsibility," Ladybug says, elbowing him for his pun. "Not that we don't appreciate your help."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Rena Rouge says. "I'm the wing-woman for Ladynoir."
"Stop calling us that!" Ladybug huffs, while Chat Noir shoots Rena Rouge a shit-eating grin. Rena Rouge smirks and salutes back.
"You know, we should totally have a group chat or something," she says. "In case we need to get in touch for this kind of thing, since we can't call each other when we're not transformed."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure giving out our numbers or getting a second phone is a recipe for disaster," Ladybug says. Rena Rouge rolls her eyes.
"Who do you take me for, LB?" she says. "I was thinking of a group chat app where you can sign up with an email or something. Just make up an email specifically for that, no phone number required."
"It would make things easier," Chat Noir says. "Like if we need to tell Rena to stay out of the fight or join in, rather than trying to signal her and praying that others don't see like when Lila was akumatised. And especially if one of us is stuck as a civilian, so we're not cussing our partner in our head."
"Yeah, I had a few explosive thoughts when you were late to Riposte," Ladybug admits.
"I knew you'd bow to my superior intellect," Chat Noir says with a smug grin.
"Is he like this every time he's right about something?" Rena Rouge says with a raised eyebrow.
"Yep," Ladybug says. "Why do you think I never let him be right?"
"This is bullying, and I won't stand for it," Chat Noir huffs. In response, Ladybug leans over to flick his bell and then desperately prays that he can't see the way her cheeks undoubtedly flush as they grow warm.
"I'll work on getting it set up, okay, guys?" Rena Rouge says. "Just make up a burner email and give them to me next time and I'll work my magic." She squeals and claps her hands. "I get to be in a group chat with Ladybug! Oh, I've got so many memes to share!"
"This isn't for fun," Ladybug says, although she does have to admit that the thought of being able to chat with Chat Noir and Rena Rouge as Ladybug while outside the mask is quite appealing. And if it means cutting down on miscommunications, well, it couldn't hurt to try it.
"Sure, sure," Rena Rouge says. "Peace out, guys!" Then she's bounding over to the next rooftop and racing through Paris, the orange of her suit soon melding with the orange of the streetlights.
"We should get going as well," Ladybug says.
"Wait…Ladybug?" Chat Noir says in a small voice before Ladybug can throw her yo-yo. When she turns, it's to the uncharacteristic sight of Chat Noir with his fake ears flat on his head and his eyes trained on the rooftop beneath their feet.
"Kitty? What's wrong?" Ladybug reties her yo-yo and places a hand on Chat Noir's shoulder.
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just…if you don't have to be anywhere…do you think we could talk?"
"Of course!" Ladybug says and immediately pulls Chat Noir to sit back down with her. "You know I'm always here to listen, Chat. You're my partner and my best friend."
Chat Noir's attempt at a smile is wobbly, but it's still a smile. "You know that girl? Marinette? The one I'm friends with?"
"Did something happen with her?" Ladybug says as her heart jolts in her chest. Had she somehow upset Chat Noir? What could she have done?
"No, no," Chat Noir says. "It's just…I know you said it was okay for us to be friends. But…I want more, Ladybug. I think – no, I know I'm in love with her."
"Does she know?" Ladybug prays that Chat Noir doesn't notice the strange lilt in her voice. Thankfully, he seems to miss it.
"Yeah," he says. "We've told each other. And I said I'd wait for her to be okay with it, but that's not why I'm stressing."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Why are you asking me that?" Chat Noir says. "You're the one who's all about secret identities!" He winces. "Shit. Sorry, that came out really rude –"
"No, no, I get what you meant," Ladybug says quickly. "You're fine, Chat. Why do you think I'd have a problem?"
"Because being friends with her is one thing," Chat Noir says. "But being with her? What if that's crossing the line, since she's a civilian and I'm a superhero?"
Ladybug sighs. She looks down at the rooftop for a moment, gathering her thoughts, before she once more meets Chat Noir's gaze. "I think so long as you're careful, it'll work," she says. "Sure, it means that you can't just whisk her from her balcony and take her for a stroll through Paris, but…Hawkmoth's taken so much from us, you know? He's taken our innocence. He's taken our normal lives. And I don't regret being Ladybug for a single second, but…we can't let Hawkmoth make us afraid to live our lives. That means that he's winning."
"I never thought I'd say this, but I almost wish she wanted to be with my civilian self," Chat Noir says. "Just for the simplicity, you know? But she loves Chat Noir, so I couldn't just go up to her as a civilian because our identities have to remain a secret."
"It's tough," Ladybug agrees. God, what would Chat Noir think if he knew he was talking to Marinette right now? "But I don't think you should have to sacrifice your happiness. That's…something I've been learning."
"Does that mean we can finally tell each other who we are?" Chat Noir says with an innocent little smile. God help Ladybug, she's so weak for that smile.
"Keep dreaming, kitty," she says and nudges him. "It's not time for you to take the clown suit off just yet."
Chat Noir huffs at her clown comment. "There's also…" He falls silent and bites his lip. "There's also another person. A boy. And I like him as well. But I love Marinette, and I want to be with her, but I don't want to mess with her –"
"I think this is a conversation you should have with Marinette," Ladybug says quickly. Chat Noir has the same problem as her? Jesus, what even is this world? "But for the record, it's totally okay to have feelings for more than one person."
"Really?" Chat Noir's eyes are wide. "I'm not…cheating on Marinette by liking this other boy too?"
"I had a good talk with a new friend the other day," Ladybug says. "She told me about polyamory – you know, being with more than one person at a time. I'm not saying that's what you should or shouldn't do…more just letting you know that you don't have to kill yourself over trying to pick one person. That talk was a weight off my shoulders, let me tell you. And even if you're not polyamorous, it's still valid to have feelings for more than one person, so long as you're honest and open."
"Wait, you're in love with two people as well?" Chat Noir stuffs his fist into his mouth to muffle his laughter, though he utterly fails and is rewarded with a glare and twitching lips from Ladybug. "My god, we really are soulmates, bugaboo."
"Oh, shut up," Ladybug says. "Just be completely open and honest with Marinette and you'll be fine, whatever you decide. That's what this friend told me. And…I kind of get where she's coming from? It's not so much my partner being with someone else that upsets me when I think about cheating, more the sneaking and lying and breach of trust."
"You should start charging for this," Chat Noir grins. "People would kill to come and get advice from Ladybug."
"Go, kitty." Ladybug points out at the sea of lights that makes up Paris at nighttime.
"I see how it is," Chat Noir declares as he jumps to his feet and helps her up. But then he sobers. "Thanks, Ladybug. Knowing that you've got my back like this…"
"Of course," Ladybug grins. "What are partners for?"
Chat Noir grins back at her. "I think I'll talk to Marinette and pick just her for now and see how we go. If I end up really liking this other boy then we can talk again, but…I just want to keep things simple."
"That's probably best," Ladybug agrees, blatantly ignoring the way her heart flutters and leaps at the knowledge that Chat Noir's choosing her and is going to talk to her soon. "One relationship is enough work, especially a new one. Good luck with Marinette!"
"Thanks, LB!" Chat Noir calls after her as she tosses her yo-yo and swings away. Ladybug waves back over her shoulder.
Her route home takes her past Le Grand Paris, its windows lit up against the darkness, but there's also a light shining on a balcony that illuminates a yellow figure on a white seat who's staring down at their hands. Ladybug pauses on the edge of the roof she's standing on, ready to leap off again, and she realises that the yellow figure is…Chloé.
God help me, but…