Cloud and Aeris made their way to the shady Inn. On their way there they noticed a man mumbling to himself.

"Nope, I just can't make up my mind." Seemingly detecting that someone was behind him, he whizzed around on the spot. "Here, you take this," he said, handing some sort of card to Cloud. "You won't be able to get in without it."

It was a Member's Card for the Inn. This chance encounter was quite astonishing. It had completely slipped Cloud's mind that they might need some kind of card to gain entry.

"Hey!" said the urbane-looking man in the black business suit that stood outside the Inn's entrance. "Is that a Member's Card I see shining in your hot little hand?"

Cloud flashed him the card.

"Please, come in."

There was a crowd forming outside. A swarm of men gathered around Aeris, some ducking low to the ground to try and peek up her dress. Cloud watched her as she nervously tried to dodge them but none of them seemed to be able to take no for an answer.

"Let's go!" exclaimed Cloud, eager to release Aeris from her tormenters.

They stepped through into the Honey Bee Inn and into a circular lobby with doors on each of the walls. A pretty girl sashayed over to them wearing a honeybee costume and a face full of make-up.

"Poo, I uh, mean, Sir… Hurry…"

Poo? Thought Cloud. Charming.

They needed a room, but they weren't sure which ones were occupied and which ones were empty. Cloud sauntered up to the door on the upper right, and read the plaque at the top which read 'The Lovers Room'. He put his ear against the door first and heard that it was occupied. Then he looked inside via the key-hole.

"…Woo…ow!"

He heard someone gasping for breath and saw an elderly man dressed up in a suit, huffing and wheezing. What the heck was he up to, Cloud wondered? After a bit of adjustment, he managed to see a little bit more of the room, this time focusing on an old woman. They were rather hot and sweaty and that was when Cloud decided he'd seen enough.

This time he checked out 'The Queen's Room' and saw something very weird going on in there. Bright flashes of light lit up the room, almost blinding him. A few men were sat around the room staring at another, rather round man, dressed up in some sort of lavish royal outfit.

"…The wind's calm now…" a familiar-sounding voice said. "It's the curse of the resurrected Satan… Our beloved Queen does not awaken…"

The lavishly dressed man that Cloud realised was President Shinra got up and started pacing.

"The time is ripe…"

Cloud saw another man, dead ahead of him, dressed in an immaculately tailored suit. He was laughing heartily.

"A legend has been passed on through generations…"

He could hear two Shinra soldiers in full garb whispering to each other. It was barely audible.

"Hey, shouldn't we stop him soon? We have a luncheon with President Shinra…"

"You tell him…"

"I can't tell him.."

"Come on! Oh, well…"

"… the sought after Promised Land…" the voice carried on.

"I'm so disgusted with the President," one of the Shinra soldiers whispered. "It's like this every time we have a business trip to Midgar."

"… One with blue eyes…"

"We come all the way to Midgar, just for this…"

"… And a great white sword on his back…"

"What're you complaining about? You're just holding the lights. I've gotta wear this heavy armour!" one of them huffed.

"… Will not lead to the Promised Land…"

"I know, I know… but it's all part of the job."

"Oh yeah, did you hear? The President's wife found out about this little hobby of his."

"Ha, ha… No way, that's the first I've heard of it."

"Oh, looks like he's done. Man, I'm glad!"

"Geez!" one of the Shinra soldiers yelled suddenly. "Mr. President! I mean, Your Majesty… Ohhh, I'm sorry. Please remove the ancient curse!"

Cloud withdrew his face from the keyhole and shook his head. So that's what the President got up to in his spare time…

Cloud decided to check out the door on the north wall this time whilst Aeris waited in the lobby and found that it was unlocked. When he walked in he saw three girls dressed up in honeybee costumes admiring themselves in front of a vanity mirror. One appeared to be quite agitated and kept sighing as she looked at herself.

"Ohhh, I just can't seem to lose weight."

She briskly turned around and gasped.

"Sir! You can't come in here."

She pulled a disgusted face, not taking her eyes off him.

"Yuk… a pervert…" she mumbled to herself.

He left the room sharpish and looked into the room on the lower left side of the lobby instead. This room was called 'The Group Room'. He didn't bother to look inside, but it sounded empty so he decided to go for it, while Aeris chose to occupy the room on the upper left.

"Looks like it's unoccupied," Cloud said.

He called the girl in the honeybee costume over and told her that he'd take the room.

"All right," she said. "Now all we have to do is enter the room. You're not going to have a change of heart, are you?"

"Don't make me repeat myself," Cloud replied coldly.

"Oh, don't be angry with me…" she whimpered, her honeybee costume shaking.

She unlocked the door and motioned for him to enter. He walked inside. The girl followed him and closed the door behind her.

"Shall we begin?" she said, walking over to a hot tub filled with steaming hot water. Oh, he could actually get used to this.

"I guess since you chose this room," the girl began, "that would mean you… hate being lonely?"

"I'm always alone," Cloud replied.

"All right, all right," the girl moaned. "Come on, everyone's waiting."

Everyone? Who was everyone? His question was soon answered when he heard the door squeak open and saw about a dozen men run into the room. They were big and muscled, slicked up with oil and lotions and shiny gelled hair. They were also wearing tight spandex costumes, each one a different colour. Cloud gulped and tried to find a good excuse to take his leave, but his brain went dead.

They gathered around Cloud, looking him up and down.

"Wassup!" one of them excitedly exclaimed.

"Oh man…" Cloud grumbled.

Looks like I'm always going to be facing crises all my life…

"Don't be so embarrassed!" the muscled man said. "Loosen up, bubby! Let's wash off all our sweat and dirt together!"

Cloud tried to back away, but he was cornered. They started to advance on him, all of them, all at the same time. How could he get out of this particular crisis? Dammit!

"Bubby! You're the intimate type, huh!"

He guessed he had no choice but to go along with this. He stripped down to his boxer shorts and joined them in the hot tub. He felt like a tinned-sardine. A very embarrassed tinned-sardine. His face was burning up and his heart was hammering. Every time one of the men brushed a hand over him he flinched and tensed his body up. He thought back to his time in SOLDIER and couldn't remember anything as bad as this. This was, quite possibly, the worst crisis he'd ever had to endure.

The man introduced himself as Mukki.

"Isn't bathing great…?" Mukki said to Cloud. "It soothes your heart. How is it, bubby!? Feels good, huh?"

"It hurts," Cloud truthfully replied. "Too stuffy in here…"

"You'll get used to it. Try counting to ten."

"Ten… Nine…"

"Hey bubby, how old are you?"

"Eight… Twenty one…"

"You're less than half my age. I'm so jealous."

Mukka seemed to ponder for a moment or two.

"So how 'bout it…? Do you wanna join my 'Young bubby's' group?"

"Seven… six… maybe in another life."

Mukka sighed. "Well, if that's how you feel… too bad. We have a trip planned at a cabin out in the country."

"Five… four… three… two… one… all right, that's ten. I'm getting' out."

"Why don't you stick around and play a bit?" Mukka let out a sigh. "Daddy's so lonely…"

Cloud didn't care. He got out, quickly dried off and popped his clothes back on. To his alarm, they all decided to get out too, as if they were dead set on following him around like puppies.

"Bubby!" Mukki wailed. "This is important to me. Here's a memento of our time together!"

He handed him a pair of silky bikini briefs. Cloud let out a little nervous laugh as he fiddled with them nervously.

"Hope we meet again!" Mukki cried joyously as if sharing a hot tub with Cloud was the most fulfilling part of his life.

When he was alone in the room, Cloud took a good look at the bikini briefs. They were bright purple and extremely shiny.

"This is SOME underwear… I'm supposed to wear this…?" He scrutinized the briefs a little more. "Well, if it's to save Tifa… I guess there's no way around."

He thought back to the room in the north part of the lobby, the one where the women were applying make-up to themselves in the vanity mirrors. If he was really serious about this then a bit of make-up would certainly make him look like a woman.

"If I were to dress up like a woman… then I've got to really prepare carefully," he said to himself as he stood in the room. "Seems like I could put make-up on here."

He cleared his throat and gulped, then said something to one of the women that he never expected to say in a million years.

"I have a favour to ask of you. Can you put make-up on me too?"

She complied, albeit hesitantly at first, and looking at him like he'd just asked her to chop his head off, and plastered his face with all sorts of powders and creams. His face felt weird and heavy. His lips were tingling. The girl told him that this was because it was a special kind of lipstick that made lips plumper. He just hoped it wasn't a permanent effect!

"…Oh my…" the girl said to him as she gawped at him. Looking at himself in the mirror, he nearly recoiled in shock. His cheeks were rosy and his lips shiny and huge. His eyelids were now purple and his eyelashes were coated in thick black mascara. He should have felt grateful; he did indeed look like a woman.

He met up with Aeris outside, and they made their way to the clothes shop to change. Cloud nervously paced the shop. Was he really going to do this? Yes. For Tifa. His childhood friend.

"Aren't you going to change?" Aeris prompted him.

"Okay… I'm ready."

He entered the dressing room, placing the dress on the hanger on the wall. He pulled the bikini briefs out of his pocket and inspected them. He gulped.

Just think of it as a mission. Someone has to do the dirty work. And this time, there's a good reward. I get to save Tifa.

Wasting little time, Cloud stripped, pulled off his boxer shorts and slipped the bikini briefs on. They sure were tight! He could barely move! He paced the dressing room and could only walk in little dainty steps.

Well, at least they make me walk like a woman…

He pulled on the dress. It was easier this time. He knew how it worked. He sprayed some Sexy Cologne on and instantly regretted doing so in a cramped dressing room. The stuff was so cloyingly sweet it made his head spin, his nose sting and his throat close up. How did girls wear this stuff?!

The wig was itchy, but when he looked in the mirror he found that all essence of his manliness was gone, and that was his goal. The tiara! He'd almost forgotten about that. He whipped it out and placed it on top of his head. A few cute ringlets cascaded over it. He hated to admit it, but he looked incredibly pretty.

He shuffled out of the changing room, feeling like all eyes were on him.

"Hmm, not bad," said the dressmaker. "This may be a new business for me."

"Yeah, you're right," his daughter piped up. "Should we try it?" She turned to Cloud and Aeris. "Thanks for showing us something new. My father's got his motivation back now, so the dress is on the house."

Aeris turned to Cloud.

"Walk more nicely like… this." She swayed her hips and lifted her head high, swinging her arms extravagantly. "Miss Cloud." She tittered excitedly to herself.

"What do you mean 'nicely'?"

She sighed and paced across the room, demonstrating again, the exact art of walking like a girl. He followed suit and felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him when everyone started giggling.

"Oh you're so cute, Miss Cloud."

She turned to the dressmaker's daughter.

"Aaah, I want one. Do you have one that'll look good on me too?"

"How's this?" she replied, pointing to a shimmering navy coloured dress on the rail.

"How about that one?" the dressmaker said, motioning towards a silky black number.

"Father, what are you talking about? This one's much better."

"No, what are you saying? This one."

Aeris ignored both of them. A dress had already caught her eye. She walked over and plucked it from the rail.

"…I want THIS one," she said defiantly. She was clutching a strapless ruby red dress that sparkled in the artificial light.

Both father and daughter looked at each other and wrinkled their noses.

"Huh?" they said in unison.

"I'm going to change," Aeris said as she hopped into the dressing room. "No peeking!"

When she came out, Cloud was speechless. She looked beautiful. While she was in there, she'd taken out the plait in her hair and wore a simple ponytail. Cloud could not believe how much cuter she actually looked.

"So?" she asked, brushing a piece of hair out of her face. "How do I look?"

Cloud just smiled sheepishly, unable to mutter a single word.

"Oh, you're no fun!" Aeris snapped.

They thanked the girl and her father and made their way to Don Corneo's Mansion, where the real mission now awaited them…

To be continued…