Committed

Time seemed to be going fast now.

Demyx's days were filled with music and healing; his nights were full of Ienzo. They tried to keep their engagement to themselves for a while, but given that the census that initiated it all was in the committee's hands, and that Radiant Garden was still a small town, word seemed to spread quickly.

But he didn't expect Ansem, of all people, to talk to him about it first. Ansem holed himself up in his work, so Demyx assumed he didn't get out much; but he was also the deposed king with a fondness for letter writing. And his pen pals loved to talk.

He was hauling laundry down from the roof when Ansem stopped him.

Ansem was looking better now. He'd gained some weight, which had softened his face, and his beard was better kept than it had been; signs he was slowly recovering. Demyx knew he and Ienzo spoke at length about these issues, but Ienzo never told him the details. Frankly, after seeing how upset it made Ienzo, Demyx did not want to hear them.

There he stood, a cup of tea clutched in both hands. "Might I have a word with you?" Ansem asked.

The man was going to be his father-in-law. He had to play nice. "Uh-sure."

Demyx followed Ansem back to his quarters, still lugging the laundry basket. The place was cleaner than it had once been, but still in general disorganized. Demyx set the basket down heavily on the carpeted floor. "Tea?" Ansem prompted. "I just made some."

"Okay. Thanks."

They sat side-by-side at the large mahogany table, which, even with its leaves dropped, was too big for two people. Ansem seemed to be thinking hard about something, but as Demyx pulled for some small talk, Ansem gently interrupted him. "So I've heard some news, concerning you and Ienzo. It seems congratulations are in order."

Demyx stared down at the tea. "Who told you that?"

Ansem chuckled and set down his tea. "When one works closely with the government, you hear a lot of things."

A warm wave of anxiety broke over him, and he swallowed. "We were… keeping it to ourselves. On the down low." He felt incredibly awkward.

"There's no need to be so embarrassed. I'm happy for you. Truly."

"Yeah?" Demyx raised an eyebrow.

"You make Ienzo so very happy. You must know that."

Demyx shook his head to clear the fog. "I figured you wouldn't be into it."

Ansem furrowed his brows. "Why ever not?"

"I don't know. Any number of reasons. That we're too young. Or that he's not ready for something like this. Or that it's me ." He traced a finger around the rim of his mug, tea still untouched.

Ansem smiled slowly. "You are young. But at this point, I believe that you should find whatever happiness you can, for as long as you can have it. You are both your own people, especially Ienzo, and I have to respect that. If he feels he is ready, then he is."

Demyx nodded, but his anxiety wasn't quite eased.

"I realize we have not been… close," Ansem said. "But even in my tertiary capacity in your life, I have seen you grow. From the day we met, until now… the Demyx you're so afraid of no longer exists. The fact that you choose to be better… it's enough."

He bit his lip. "Thank you."

"Is this what you want?"

The question threw him, and he looked up. "Of course I do. I just… I'm not sure what it really is. Or what it means. "

Ansem laughed. "I'm afraid I cannot offer you any advice in that regard. My great love was always my career, and this city. I'm sure you'll find your way."

Demyx nodded, and dropped his eyes. "Permanence is still… really weird to me," he admitted. "For my whole life, I've always been bouncing from world to world to world, not able to be a part of one. People kept going in and out of my life. I've had to be so selfish for so long. It's been a little hard to adjust."

"I can imagine."

"But it feels… good, you know." He took a sip of his tea and found it incredibly strong. He took out the diffuser and set it on the napkin Ansem had given him.

"I agree. Coming back into the realm of light-and dealing with all the challenges therein-has been quite a struggle. As I'm sure you're aware. We can be better, I feel. We can do good things for this world. Hence my journey back into the depths of bureaucracy. With the upcoming creation of the city council..." He shook his head.

"You really don't want to be reelected?"

Ansem laughed again, louder this time. "Frankly, my boy, I can't think of anything I'd rather do less. "

Demyx cracked a smile.

"There is one power I have left at my disposal though, should you want it." He seemed to gather himself. "I'd be honored to officiate for you. If you so choose."

He felt the blood rush to his face. "I'd have to talk to Ienzo about it. But I'm sure he'd love it."

Ansem patted his hand. The skin was dry, and very warm. "I look forward to getting to know you as my son."

"Wow," was all he could say. "Sorry, I don't mean that in like, a rude way. I'm not used to having family." Demyx could feel himself tearing up. "I have to, um. Bring that laundry down and meet Aerith for work. But I'll text you."

Ansem nodded. "Of course."

To Demyx's surprise, Ienzo was home. He was laying on the couch, curled under a wool blanket, dozing. Demyx'd never seen him nap before, and was tempted to check his temperature. He tried to set his keys down quietly, but the gentle creak of the floor under his feet was enough to make Ienzo stir. "Hey. Sorry," he said.

Ienzo rubbed at his eyes. "Quite alright."

"You feel okay?"

"I'm fine. Why is it you ask?"

"You never nap."

He rolled his eyes and sat up. "I was feeling tired after my studies. I took a page out of your book and decided to rest, heaven forbid. Magic wears me out so much more than I am used to."

"Believe me, I know." Demyx sat at his feet. "You'll get used to it."

"I'm sure I will." He pulled the blanket around himself. "Curious, though, how much more wear it is on the human body."

Demyx reached for the basket and started to fold what was in it. "Ansem talked to me," he said quickly.

"Whatever about?"

"He knows. He found out that we're getting married."

Ienzo cocked his head slightly. "That so? He did not bring it up the last time we had lunch. I wonder why."

"I think he was putting out feelers for me. But it was… it was actually kind of a nice conversation. He said…" Demyx took a quick breath. "He looks forward to having me as a son."

Ienzo softened. "That does sound very nice."

"There's something else." He kept his eyes on his laundry, folding wrinkled shirts. "He said he'd be glad to marry us. If we wanted him to be the one to do it."

Ienzo seemed to puzzle this for a moment. "We should do something about that, shouldn't we," he said.

A bubble of laughter escaped him. "I figured you'd have it all scripted in your head."

"That'd be characteristic of me. But surprisingly?" Ienzo shrugged. "I am open to the when and the how. I want to be with you. That is all."

Demyx took his hand and squeezed it. "I know. I don't need anything fancy. Or big. That sounds kind of embarrassing, actually."

Ienzo wrinkled his nose. "I agree. Well. According to the law-or the way it used to be, anyway-we'd only need an officiant and two witnesses. So perhaps we ask along Aeleus, Even, and Dilan, as well as Aerith and anyone else you might know. Keep it simple."

"That sounds good to me."

Ienzo leaned against him, and for a moment neither of them spoke. Demyx could tell he was starting to think, though, if the look in his eye meant anything. "I don't suppose you have any customs you might like to bring to it? It's impolite for me not to consider that as well."

"I'm honestly not really sure," Demyx admitted. "I was a kid when I lived there, and with the war, and everything, people weren't exactly... focused on getting hitched. The only thing I can really remember is the jewelry."

"Jewelry?"

"Rings. Well, just one each." He shrugged. "On the left hand. Apparently, there's a vein that goes to your heart. It's supposed to symbolize the bond the people have for each other."

Ienzo was silent for several minutes. Then, "I quite like that."

The pieces started to come together, not that there were many of them.

The others reacted with more indifference than Demyx expected; he'd thought they might get as irritated as they did when they first found out he was with Ienzo. Even seemed relatively pleased to receive the news. "You two could use a more tangible sense of stability. This seems to be it." Though Ienzo admitted later that the man confronted him about it, claiming-what else-that they were too young.

They would keep it simple; the traditional, old words would be good enough. If they had anything more intricate to say, they could do so in private; he didn't need everyone to see everything about their relationship. Bit by bit, in his spare hours, he let himself compose, trying to give shape and sound to how he was feeling, and what it meant to him. This would be his gift.

Originally, Ienzo intended for this small ceremony to take place in the castle's nondenominational chapel, but when they went down to tidy it up, they found it was more damaged than anticipated from the Heartless's reign. Most of the stained glass was shattered, and the Heartless emblem was overbearing. For a moment, as they stood there, Ienzo's expression was unreadable; then he held up one flaming palm. "Shall we do the honors?" he asked.

Demyx drew his Keyblade. "Right there with you."

They ended up making an even bigger mess than was there originally, but Ienzo was nonplussed. "It's worth its weight in catharsis," he said pleasantly. "Nobody can blame us. It's for the good of our recovery, after all."

Demyx bought the rings himself. The vendor at the market was chatty. These bands had once been used as armor, but now that there wasn't such a need for armor she was trying to sell them as accessories, and nobody was biting. It was the patina, she insisted, which burned the silver in beautiful blues and golds. She offered to polish them for him, but he took them as is (and for much less than they were worth).

Some things were better with their flaws.

He didn't let Ienzo see them, didn't even let him try it on, despite Ienzo's concern that it might not fit. Demyx mentioned they were self-sizing and to please be patient.

The day they were married, it rained.

It wasn't so much a day they sought with intention, but the earliest point they could round everyone up. They ended up in-where else-the library, because so much of their story was here, and it had the nicest light.

Truthfully, Demyx wasn't nervous. Ienzo was the only thing he was really sure of; he had no regrets or concerns. He wore his nicest, cleanest clothes. They joined their friends and family and even as Ansem spoke, Demyx could not take his eyes off Ienzo. He listened to the music of the rain as they were bound for life, an embroidered cloth tied around their joined hands to symbolize that unbreakable bond.

With a kiss, it was over. They were both passed from hug to hug-even Dilan gave Demyx a warm handshake-and then they were left to their own devices, Ienzo in his lap in one of the armchairs.

"I thought I would feel different," Ienzo admitted. He traced Demyx's hand, the new ring that was there.

"Really? Why?"

"I'm not sure. This seems like one of those occasions that is so often considered an achievement. But so many things that were important in stories are… not less important, but less transformative and more complex in real life."

"Well, we also didn't get together with this being the end goal."

"...True. I think that's why it was so freeing. So easy." He leaned against Demyx for a few minutes, and he kissed Ienzo's head. "I… I didn't want to bear my heart in front of everyone else, but I do have something for you."

"I do too."

"I'm afraid I didn't bring it with me." He stood and offered his hand. "Shall we go?"

They went home, like they'd done dozens of times. Ienzo crossed over to the small writing desk and pulled out an envelope. It was a thick, rich paper, heavy, the kind that was meant to last.

With a sort of shyness he said, "I suppose you might consider it… my vows. You needn't read it now."

"I want to. Is that okay?"

He nodded, a blush coloring his face. "I'll… I'll give you some space," he said. "Aeleus was kind enough to buy dinner for us. I'll go get it." He gave Demyx a quick kiss, and left.

With slightly shaky fingers, Demyx unsealed the letter. He saw Ienzo's painstaking, perfect handwriting. It looked as though he'd written it with his fountain pen, the ink not so much as smeared. Demyx could already feel emotion rising in him, even seeing something so simple as the date.

To you-

I've thought and wondered for so long how to express everything I feel about you and our journey together. The academic in me says to be concise, but I… can't. I'm not quite a romantic, but I hope that this can at least touch the surface.

Before we met-or perhaps the way to phrase it is met again-I was still learning how to be, reeling, anxious, empty. I don't think we were kindred spirits so much as there at the right place and time. I'd tried to accept the fate I'd been given, dismal as it was, but you made me realize this life could be so much more than guilt and trauma. You helped me learn to do something my studies never could-to grow, and to feel, and to start to love this strange person that I am.

You've grown, too, found a maturity I didn't think possible in a person that was once known for his "stupid, but awesome" ideas. You know how to find the humor and the beauty in things, and that is something I love so much about you.

I had hoped to be eloquent in this letter, but as I sit here trying to write, I realize that words will never be enough to express how I feel. Because I do love you, simply as that, a love that is large and terrifying and so, so beautiful. I want to do and see everything there is with you.

So perhaps I will be more concise than I thought.

If this love can come from a place of such hardship, I can only wonder what might come of it now that we're free. There is such beauty in this world and such awe. And I am eternally grateful to you for removing those blinders, for coaxing me so patiently into a world I hid from for so long.

I'm not naive; I know there will be troubles and challenges and arguments over silly things. But I am equally as certain that we will weather it, and be stronger for it.

I want us to both grow to be the person we both deserve; not for one another, but for ourselves. I know it will happen. It's inevitable, in this new phase.

I look forward to these experiences, to these challenges, so long as I can be

Yours always,

Ienzo

Demyx set the letter aside, drying his eyes quickly so as to not get the paper wet. He read it again, slowly, imagining Ienzo's face as he wrote it. Demyx folded it back up, held it to his chest for a moment, and placed the envelope in his bedside drawer where it would be safe.

The door opened, and there he was, carrying the bag of food. Demyx was so overcome for a moment that he was frozen. Ienzo set the bag down and knotted his hands.

In three steps Demyx drew him into his arms. "It was…" He was crying again. "I love it. So much."

"I wanted it to be perfect. But I cannot perfectly say how I feel-"

He kissed him. Ienzo relaxed slightly, letting his lips part, but before they could go much farther Demyx drew back. "Before we-can I give you my thing?"

He laughed a little. "Of course."

"You can probably already guess what it is." He sat cross-legged and brought Arpeggio into his arms.

Demyx knew how Ienzo felt trying to write that letter, understood his need for perfection. The song had become something like an odyssey, crossing the movements of their relationship not so effortlessly-the awkward discordance of their time as Nobodies, resentment shimmering, to their newfound friendship as humans, even that twined through with anxiety and sharp accidentals. Slowly there grew to be comfort there, stability, want… love. And in that love there was growth and healing and hope and so much more that was unexplored. His fingers flew across the notes. Ienzo was right; it was imperfect. But it was what was right for them.

The song ended softly, into the stillness of the rain, and Demyx realized he was breathing hard.

Ienzo looked almost shocked, his eyes wide and watery, and after just a moment he vaulted over to Demyx and hugged him so tightly he had no option but to let Arpeggio disappear. "I guess you liked it," he said.

"I want to remember it forever."

"Way ahead of you. I sent a recording to you earlier. It probably won't be the same, but-"

He never finished the sentence. He was being kissed, gently and deeply. He helped Ienzo up and they fell back against the bed in a loose tangle. Longing bloomed in him, stronger than ever, and he began to unbutton Ienzo's shirt, pressing his mouth against the skin below it and gratifying in the sound he made. Demyx felt him fumbling at his clothes as well a bit breathlessly until they were both naked. He started to remove his ring, mostly for safekeeping, and heard Ienzo say, "leave it."

They held eye contact for just a moment. Ienzo kissed him, his throat, the soft spot at his shoulder, and as subtly as Demyx could, he dug in the nightstand for lube. Ienzo pulled him down on top of him, running his hands all along Demyx's back and thighs. The type of touch that had so much unsaid.

He brought lube into his hand, pushed a few of his fingers inside of him. Demyx wasn't so focused on the tightness of it as usual, on the anticipation, but felt something much more deeply. Ienzo kissed him mercilessly until finally he couldn't take it anymore. He eased his dick inside of him.

There was something just so gentle about this time, not so quick or so frenzied. He held Ienzo's hand tightly and felt him grasp at his hair. Demyx felt him pushing up against him, and they made love slowly and deeply until finally they both came.

They held each other for a long time.

The moment was so surreal and yet so mundane. It was growing dark now, rain replaced with a hesitant sunset. "You hungry?" Demyx asked him.

"Actually, yes."

"I'll go heat everything up. Relax, okay?"

He had just stood to gather up his clothes when he felt Ienzo take his hand. He looked at Demyx for a long moment, almost like he might disappear.

"What is it?"

He smiled. "Nothing. I… reassuring myself, I suppose."

They had their dinner by the fire in states of partial undress. Ienzo held his glass of white wine, stared at it as though to study it. "...Taking it all in?" Demyx asked.

"Something like that." He sipped at it. "My heart feels so… full. The word "love" has been tossed around a lot today-"

"It's our wedding day. That's kind of the point."

"...I do feel so loved. And so grateful. I didn't think I'd ever get here."

"...Me either," Demyx admitted. He took a deep breath.

"There have hardly ever been moments in my life when I was so at peace. This might actually be the first. I'm trying to savor it."

"Take your time. It seems we have a lot of it now." Demyx understood. He also felt so full and yet so light.

"Yes." He set aside the empty glass and leaned back. Demyx slipped an arm around him. He was feeling sleepy now, the food and wine making him warm. For a moment they were almost completely still, resting with their foreheads touching. "I suppose tomorrow everything goes back to normal."

"It doesn't have to."

Ienzo looked up. "What do you mean?"

Demyx shrugged. "Why don't we go somewhere for a few days?"

"Where?"

"Where would you want to go? What have you been missing since since we became human?"

He thought about it. "It's silly. But I… I see it all over Kingstagram-"

"-And he finally gives up on that awful program name-"

"I want to go to the Bistro in Twilight Town. It's the end of summer there now. I hear there's a nice beach. I also wouldn't mind visiting Roxas and the others. That is, unless you'd rather us be alone."

Demyx felt the blood rush to his face. "We can always make the time." He kissed him, just barely tasting wine and salt. Ienzo pulled him still closer, curled a leg around him, and for a while they were lost in each other.

"You know. I rather like the sound of that." Ienzo touched his cheek so gently. "I feel so terribly… greedy, but can I-" He bit his lip. "I want to make love to you."

Demyx felt his face warm. "Yes. Please."

Ienzo kissed him, and he let his mouth open. It was getting easier to let him take control, to let himself be loved. Ienzo brought him back to bed and curled himself around Demyx, pressing against him in a way that immediately got a reaction. He gasped out loud and felt Ienzo tugging at the waistband of his underwear. Demyx slipped off Ienzo's shirt.

"What do you want me to do?" Ienzo asked. He was breathing roughly, and seeing him so flustered just made Demyx harden more.

"I want-" For a moment he had to remind himself that this was his husband, and that Ienzo really wanted nothing more than to please him. "I want you inside of me?"

He nodded a little. "Are you… are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay. You relax. Let me take care of you." He stroked Demyx's cheek and reached for the lube, which was still buried in the sheets.

Demyx shifted forward, letting his knees part. He caught sight of Ienzo, framed by the firelight, and let himself soften. He felt Ienzo slide a finger into him, and his breath caught in his throat. Anticipation was nearly paralyzing. Ienzo kissed him, brushing along skin and scars with his other hand, and Demyx felt another finger inside of him.

Demyx reached down towards Ienzo's dick, and felt his hand being taken away. "I mean it," Ienzo said against his throat. His lips against the soft skin made Demyx shake. He couldn't see what was happening- he'd shut his eyes tightly-but he felt Ienzo slipping into him and gratified in the sound Demyx heard him make. "You feel so very-" He kissed Demyx, pulling them still closer and started to move, so gently, almost too lightly, and desire nearly made him squirm.

For all their time together it was still hard to be vulnerable. As much as he trusted Ienzo, the small, traumatized part of him struggled to let go and allow good things to happen.

Ienzo laughed softly. Demyx felt his hair brush against his face, almost catching between their lips as they kissed. Demyx pressed up against him, letting himself feel that need. Ienzo pushed into him with a little less hesitation.

"You were doing that on purpose," he said, gasping for breath.

"I wanted to see you undone. Can you blame me?" Ienzo asked.

Demyx was starting to lose coherence, as well as track of his thoughts, becoming so increasingly focused on the push and pull inside of him, a pleasure that was almost, and for a moment he tried in vain to hold it back, with only a few seconds to wonder why . A wave of warmth broke over him, a feeling so intense he was still for a moment. Ienzo kissed his cheek, his forehead, and after a few seconds or so he heard a gasp as Ienzo came too.

Demyx let his legs fall back against the sheets and pulled Ienzo down to his chest. "Wow," was all he could manage, still reeling a bit.

"It takes some getting used to, doesn't it?"

"Hm?"

"Giving yourself over."

Maybe it was the endorphins or the general emotion of the day, but Demyx could feel himself tearing up. "Yeah. But it felt so…"

"I'm glad."

"I have to get used to it. I want to. We're…" A tear broke free. "We're married."

"I'm aware."

A spasm of something like a sob caught in his throat. Ienzo stroked Demyx's hair.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing. I'm not sad, I'm…" He bit his lip.

"The pain of losing something painful," Ienzo said gently. "I know. It's okay." He hugged him tightly. "I'm here."

And he was. And there was something so beautiful and so real in this, that even though letting go of the loneliness he'd melded into his identity was painful, it was a necessary change.

Because he wasn't alone. They had each other, they had their family.

For once, it felt like nothing was missing.