A/N for 2019-1-24: Happy Friday, all. We're getting closer to the end of the slow-burn, I promise!
I fiddled with this after chaysara worked her magic, so all errors are my own.
- Erin
Charlie gave Sue the biggest and most silent sideways I-told-you-so grimace as Bella recounted her week.
But when she told them who had helped her with the social worker, Charlie became unnaturally still.
"You had to call him for help," he said simply, nodding, his face pained. He looked down, swallowing. "I'm so sorry, honey. If . . . if we have to be away, we'll make sure there are people here to help you."
"Dad," Bella said, looking at him, "don't you dare feel badly. It's fine. He helped and I was grateful. Sarah's fine."
"Yes," Charlie said, "and you should never have had to ask Edward Cullen for help." He looked at her, the guilt so plain on his face.
Bella made herself appear exasperated. "It's fine, Dad. Really."
"You think it's fine, Bella, but I don't ever want to see him in your life again. Ever—let alone touching Sarah's." He said it with such ferocity and anger that both Sue and Bella looked at each other, worried.
"Dad," Bella said firmly, "who is in my life is up to me. Even . . . Edward."
Charlie sat down, wondering if this was what it felt like to have a heart attack. Did she want him back in her life? In Sarah's? He was breathing heavily, the air thick in his throat. He closed his eyes, trying not to see his memories from those years before.
"Dad?" Bella asked.
"I can't watch him hurt you again," he said, this time his voice softened by an emotion Bella recognized.
"I understand."
He held his arms out for Sarah, and Bella gave her gladly. Charlie held her against his chest, like a talisman against evil. It worked, and the tightness in his breathing eased at her solid warmth. Her fever had gone and she still sniffled a bit but was as healthy as they could expect.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, looking at Bella sit down. She'd lost more weight, which worried him. The flu this year was bad. He and Sue had been given flu shots for work, but he didn't think Bella had received one.
"Yeah," she said, "I'm still getting over the last bit of the flu."
"We've got the weekend," he said, "I'll get my fill of Sarah before I go back to work, then, and you get some rest."
On Sunday, Bella and Charlie had a lazy morning, both emerging from their pajamas near noon. They'd tag teamed with Sarah, and Charlie had her tucked under his arm, the other hand flipping through the paper while they sat on the couch when the doorbell rang.
Sauntering towards it, Charlie expected a delivery. So when he opened the door to find Edward Cullen standing there, he could only blink and stare.
His silence was short lived, soon replaced with a hot anger that swept from his chest to his face. He forced a curt, "Yes?" from his mouth, not wanting Sarah's ears to be audience to his deeper feelings.
"Good morning. I was hoping to speak with Bella," Edward said, watching Charlie carefully, worried his grip on the baby was too tight. He looked at Sarah, drawing Charlie's eyes there, too, and saw the man's arm loosen.
"Come in then," Charlie said, turning his back, calling upstairs. "Bella, Edward's here to see you." He spoke the name with distaste.
In the midst of donning her socks, Bella stopped moving at the sound of Edward's name.
Yes, she told herself, she'd heard correctly.
She came downstairs slowly as if the outcome might change if she took more time to get there.
But no, he was there, standing across from Charlie in the entranceway, beautiful and perfect against her father's livid humanity.
"I was wondering if I could take you to lunch," he said.
She looked at Charlie holding Sarah, his face red and twitching, and then back at Edward. What the hell was he thinking? Then a spasm of fear clutched at her. Was there some danger present?
She cleared her throat, "Oh, that sounds nice. Um," she added, "before I forget," and she grabbed her phone, "can I get Victoria's address? I meant to send her a thank you for the flowers." Then she looked at him expectantly.
"She's out of the country right now, but I'll let you know when she's back," he said softly.
"Okay," Bella said, breathing out slowly, adding a quiet, "Thanks."
"Would you like to go for lunch?" he asked again.
"Sure," she said, still wondering what this was about.
Charlie spun around. "I'll keep Sarah," he said. "So don't be too long, okay? She'll need to nurse soon enough." Then he looked at Edward. The message was clear: bring her back soon—and safely.
"Of course," Edward said.
Bella felt odd leaving the house with only her phone and wallet tucked into her jacket.
As soon as they were in the car, she asked, "What's going on?"
"I wanted to take you to lunch," Edward said, "nothing else."
She put her head back on the seatrest, closing her eyes and letting out an anxious breath.
"I'm sorry. I should have called." He looked truly remorseful.
"Yes," she said, "you should have. Charlie is getting older. I would prefer my Dad not have a heart attack." Or myself, she thought. "He wasn't happy that I needed to call you for help."
Edward saw the look. "And neither were you."
"I was glad you could help Sarah. I'm still grateful for that."
Edward had put the heat on high, which kept the outside chill from Bella but left them both uncomfortable in the presence of each other's heady scents.
It was easier in the restaurant.
"So," she said, trying to keep the conversation somewhat safe, "what brought this on?"
"Lunch?"
"Mm-hmm," she said, trying to look interested in the menu. That was difficult. The grimy plastic covers hadn't changed in years and neither had the papers inside them.
"I didn't think Charlie would appreciate me showing up and cooking lunch. This seemed like a nice compromise."
"Are you worried I don't eat?"
"I know you don't eat enough," he said, looking at her hands, the skin clinging tenaciously to her fine bones.
She put down the menu and put her hands back in her pockets. "Did you find . . . anything? Anyone? The other night?" she asked.
"No."
"Really?" Bella asked. There was a challenge in her eyes when he met them. She'd had enough of being shut out with Jacob.
"There were four trails, but they ended in the water."
Four. There were more of them. The worry made her eyebrows squish together.
"We will keep you safe," Edward said. "You don't need to worry."
"Sorry, is 'my pretty little head about it' next?"
"Of course not." The corners of his mouth turned down, "I brought this trouble into your life. I'd prefer to remove it without creating more problems for you."
"I'm not going to pretend I don't know what's happening, Edward. I had enough of that while you were gone."
Edward let his surprise show. "Jacob didn't—?"
"No," Bella said. "He couldn't, and I stopped asking . . . eventually."
"Why?"
"Sam runs a tight ship," she shrugged, sipping her water.
"Hi there. Are you all ready to order?" the waitress asked, eyeing Bella and Edward specutavely. Edward gestured towards Bella, who ordered. When Edward only ordered a coke, the waitress raised an eyebrow but didn't comment further.
When they were alone again, he asked, "How's your cut?
She shrugged. "Fine."
"May I see?" It was a cheap ploy on his part, but he wanted to touch her hand, if only briefly.
She placed her arm palm up on the table. He cradled it with his own, using his other hand to gently turn it, as if seeking better light.
"There'll be a bit of a scar," he murmured quietly, trying to keep his own reactions in check. Bella's, he could hear, were wildly out of control, her heart pounding, breathing coming more rapidly than she was trying to let on. He traced the tip of his finger down the fine red line on her healing skin, feeling her shiver with an emotion about whose qualities he could only guess.
Then he made himself let go, resting his own hands flat on the table.
Bella snatched her fist back, arms crossed most distinctively over her chest, like she was holding herself together.
But the sudden, milky smell told him what she was trying to do.
He frowned a little, worried he'd pulled her away from Sarah at a bad time. "Do you need to get back?"
"No," she said, blushing ferociously, squeezing tighter. It was just another horrifically embarrassing reaction of her traitorous body to him.
"Okay," he said, releasing his frown, reaching for something to talk about. "How was it telling Charlie about what happened when he was away?"
"You weren't there?" she asked.
He shook his head. "Alice made me hunt, and she wouldn't tell me either. She . . . wants you to have your privacy as much as possible."
Bella raised her eyebrows at the implication.
"I do too," he said softly, "but I am . . . curious."
"I think the reaction today should tell you all you need to know," she said, breathing out. "I wouldn't push it with him in general."
"Do you think I would?" he smiled, laughing a bit.
She couldn't help but smile back. "Yes, I think you would."
He shook his head. He would kiss Charlie Swan's feet if he thought it would ingratiate himself with either of the Swans. "I'll be good. I promise."
"You promised me you would be." Her smile slipped into a more careful and neutral expression. It was risky, laughing, smiling. Feelings climbed up those things and expectation too. Other feelings were tagging along, noisy beneath this peaceful surface.
She put her hands on the table, fingers curled on the top, like she was steadying herself.
The waitress returned at this point, setting food and drinks in front of them.
Edward wondered if he wasn't bad for her eating habits. She still seemed so agitated.
He rested his head on his hands, folded, trying to put her at ease. He wasn't going to touch her, not unless she asked.
"I'd like to say that looks good, but . . . I'm sure it must look good to you."
She laughed. "I'm sure they've got some wild game in the back. You just need to ask," she grinned.
He grinned easily too.
It was a little bubble of happiness, fragile, and gone in a moment.
But she did eat. He was glad of that. They talked, she sharing what she knew of Charlie's trip, Edward asking about Sarah. He hadn't lay his own eyes on her in days. He missed watching her, hearing her thoughts up close. She was a small extension of Bella, and he realized his feelings for her were just as protective as they were for her mother.
"How's Sarah doing?" he asked.
"She's great," Bella said. "Her fever's completely gone. She just has a bit of a sniffle now."
Edward nodded, letting his eyebrows squeeze together in concern. "Just . . . keep an eye on that," he said carefully.
Bella looked at him, worried suddenly, that he knew something he wasn't telling.
"Why?" she asked, clearly suspicious.
"It's a bad year for the flu," he said.
"So I hear," she murmured, remembering Charlie's comments.
Edward didn't want to remind her how he knew just how bad the flu could be, so he gently said, "Sometimes, people catch things right after they've had the flu, when they're weaker." He looked at her thin hands. "So, it's just good to be careful."
"I am," she said.
He wished she would take more care of herself, too, but he forced himself to move onto other topics. "Did you like the baby group?" he asked. She'd mentioned it but not in detail.
"Yeah," she said, taking another bite, "I did. It's been . . . quiet at home," she said, but frowned, not quite satisfied with the wording. "A bit isolated, I guess."
He said nothing, wanting to hear more.
"I'm not exactly in the company of my peers," she mumbled.
No, she wasn't. How could she ever be? he thought. She was so much more.
He hadn't asked about the pregnancy. About her choice. He wanted to—badly—to know, to understand, but kept silent.
He was thrilled when she answered one of those questions.
"When I decided to have her, it made some friendships a bit difficult to keep."
Edward wondered which ones. Still, he said nothing, listening intently.
She shrugged. "So, I need to make some new friends. It seemed like a good place to start, with other parents."
He allowed himself a safe question. "Is it only for mothers and babies?"
"No, but they call it that, so I'm not sure how many fathers would show up."
"Mmm," he said.
"Why? Want to join me?" she asked, half joking.
"I'd be delighted to," he said seriously. "Is that an invitation?"
She blinked, trying to envision Edward at a baby group. "I think it might defeat the purpose of me making new friends, having all the mothers drooling over you."
He rolled his eyes at this, but knowing the effect his appearance had on others, accepted her estimation.
"I'd be happy to give you a ride. The weather isn't the best this time of year."
She was toying with her salad, uncomfortable with the offer.
"It probably isn't good for Sarah to be out in the cold and wet even if you keep her dry," he added.
"Right," Bella said slowly. "A ride would be appreciated, for her sake."
Edward celebrated inwardly. Charlie couldn't argue with that rationale. He wondered if his own involvement would be reason enough for Charlie to buy his daughter a car. Possibly.
"I should probably get back." Bella sighed, not quite ready to go but not wanting to push her luck with timing.
"Of course," Edward said, signalling to the passing waitress.
"I can get it," Bella said, but Edward snatched the bill before she could reach it.
"No," he said gently, handing the slip of paper back to the waitress with cash. "No change, thank you." He smiled at the waitress, and when she left, to Bella. "Friends are allowed to buy each other lunch." Friends, he remembered, seemed to be able to give gifts, too. He tucked that thought away for later consideration.
"Thank you. I, um, am not sure how I'll reciprocate," she said, raising her eyebrows meaningfully. "I'll call if I find any deer straying into the backyard."
He wanted to smile at this, but the sudden image of him hunting so near to her or Sarah made him feel even colder than he was. His smile flickered, then guttered.
"Would it be all right if I come in to say hello to Sarah?" He kept his voice quiet and even as he asked, not wanting to pressure her with any expectation.
Bella smiled at him. "Of course, though I'm not sure how well Charlie will like it, just so you're forewarned."
Edward grinned, remembering something. "Does he still run away when you nurse?"
She laughed. "Yes."
"Well, if we time things right, Charlie won't stay around to mind."
Bella cocked an eyebrow, wondering how Edward would time that.
Surprisingly though, things were at that point when they arrived back at the house.
Charlie stood with both feet apart, looking at Edward darkly, Sarah tucked under his arm like a football.
"Good lunch?" he asked Bella gently.
"Yes, it was," she said. "Thank you, Dad. It was really nice to get out."
This softened Charlie considerably. She had been inside too much. But as he looked at Edward, a fierce resentment that it had been him that had taken her out asserted itself.
Sarah was starting to fuss more angrily, hearing her mother so close and not being in her arms, or more precisely, at not being fed.
"Here, Dad. She's hungry," Bella said, holding out her arms.
He gave her over easily, prepared to leave her in peace. His look at Edward invited the same.
Bella countermanded him. "Do want to come sit for a few minutes before you go?"
He was going, thought Charlie. Good. That meant he could leave.
Bella sat down on the couch, and it gave Charlie just enough time to brush past Edward, threatening him with a fervent whisper. "If you hurt either of them, don't think that I will not find you, because I will." He walked away, angrily stomping down the stairs to his chores in the yard.
As she watched Edward sit down a seat apart from her, she asked softly, "What did he say to you?"
"He warned me not to hurt you or Sarah, which I have more than earned."
The urge to protest surprised her. Edward certainly had earned Charlie's censure. And hers. But she didn't like Charlie interfering. She would need to make her boundaries with him clearer.
Bella focused instead on Sarah, rubbing a small chubby hand between her fingers and watching her daughter squirm in contentment.
Edward smiled. Sarah's thoughts were peaceful.
"What?" she asked, seeing the curve of his lips in her peripheral vision.
"She's happy," he said softly. "It's delightful to hear. So . . . utterly pure. It's unusual."
"Other babies must be too," Bella said.
He shrugged. "Other people's babies aren't of much interest to me, Bella." He reached a finger out, letting Sarah grip it briefly and then settling his hand back on his lap.
Bella blushed and then felt like a total chump.
Everyone complimented everyone's baby. It was just polite. No need to feel like hers was something more.
Except she is, her mind told her. She is the most special thing ever.
Edward was standing, getting ready to leave, giving her space.
"I'll see you Tuesday, then?"
"Tuesday at ten," she said, and she bit her tongue before she could ask him to come back before then.
Boundaries, she reminded herself, were good things.
DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.