a/n Thank you so much for the lovely reviews on that last chapter! Thank you, too, to Stormkpr for awesome betaing. Happy reading!

Family breakfasts become even more upbeat in the week that follows, as Octavia waxes lyrical about the fulfilment she finds in the opportunity to heal her people, rather than put them to death, and Bellamy sets about being quietly overjoyed with his new role. It doesn't hurt, of course, that both medicine and learning how to be a guard are fields that Madi has considerable interest in, and she makes this absolutely plain.

"Can I come with you, one day, Auntie O? And learn all about stitching people up?"

"Maybe not just yet, Madi. Maybe when you're a little older and you don't have to go to school."

"But when I don't have to go to school I'll start going to my dad's training." Madi says it as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. "I already go to target practice with them, and I'm already one of the best."

"One of the most modest, too." Clarke teases her cheerfully. "You might not want to be a cadet, honey. You wait and see how you feel when you get there."

"I do want to be a cadet." She says fiercely. "And I want to be a doctor. And also a history teacher. I want to do everything."

"You're definitely your mother's daughter." Bellamy says through a laugh.

"But I think I want to be a cadet most of all because they get to go on adventures all the time."

"Some of the adventures are better than others." Bellamy tells her gently. "Today we're going to your mum's office, I'm not sure that's much of an adventure."

"But I love going to Medical!"

"I didn't mean her office in Medical, Madi. I meant her office with Kane." Clarke finds herself a little taken aback at that, at the suggestion that the office where she has spent so much time of late might be, at least in part, hers.

"Why would you want to go there?" Madi asks, all confusion.

"Because some of the cadets get nervous about reporting to that office." Bellamy explains patiently. "They don't know where they're going, and they find people like Kane and Indra and your mum and Echo a bit intimidating. So we're going to have a tour today and meet them all."

"That's silly. None of those people are scary."

"You're only saying that because they're all family to you, one way or another." Clarke points out cheerfully.

Madi thinks about that for a moment, brow furrowed. "You're right. We really do have the best family."

…...

Now that Bellamy has described this as her office, she cannot quite shake the idea. It hadn't occurred to her three days ago when they moved an additional desk and chair in alongside Kane's, but she has to admit that, if she has a permanent work space in this room – well, then. It must be at least a little bit hers.

That thought brings a smile to her face as she sits down and sets about dealing with her job for the morning. The problem of accommodation is an ongoing one, with only a few residences left behind by the previous settlers, and countless people on the waiting list for a home. They have, at this point, a roof over everyone's head, but a good number of people are living with more relatives and friends than they would strictly prefer, and are understandably keen to have a place of their own. She is tasked, therefore, with planning where they should build more homes, and how this will be achieved, and who should have priority when it comes to moving in.

This whole situation makes her more grateful than ever for the small two-bedroom home she shares with Madi – and, whether he has noticed it or not, Bellamy. It seems that being the stepdaughter of the acting leader has its perks.

With a heavy sigh, she reads the waiting list one more time, makes a start on highlighting those families with small children who are currently still crammed in with grandparents, and those young couples who want to be able to start a life together.

She is mercifully interrupted by a familiar knock at the door.

"Come in, Bellamy." She ignores, carefully, the raised brow Kane directs at her. Apparently it isn't normal to be able to identify one's lover from the way he knocks at a door.

Sure enough, it is Bellamy, a couple of dozen cadets in tow. And sure enough, being Bellamy, he crosses the room in three short strides to greet her with a resounding kiss before he makes his introductions.

"Everyone. This is Clarke Griffin. And Marcus Kane."

"Indra should be back any moment, too." Kane offers.

"Great. And we just bumped into Echo and Miller outside."

"Excellent. So, would you like me to say a few words?"

Bellamy nods, and Kane sets about talking, a handful of carefully prepared sentences about how welcome they all are in this office, how they should all feel part of the team. How there is never anything to be nervous about when it comes to reporting back here.

Clarke thinks he's wasting his breath. The youngsters before them look terrified just being here, never mind actually reporting anything. There's one blond guy in the front row, she muses, who she could certainly believe would shoot a tree if he heard a loud noise. He looks terrified enough just from having witnessed his commanding officer snog her a little.

"Thank you, Marcus." Bellamy, in contrast to his charges, looks completely at ease. "I thought we'd have a little get to know you session, if that's OK? Does anyone have any questions for Clarke or Marcus?"

There is, unsurprisingly, an awkward silence. A few of the cadets shuffle their feet. That blond in the front row blushes deeply, apparently struggling to fathom the idea that these two intimidating leaders might simply be Clarke and Marcus. Clarke is about to pipe up with a cheerful sentence about how she likes drawing and going fishing when a dark-haired young woman asks something rather unexpected.

"Ms Griffin, please, did you know Officer Blake has a picture of you on his desk? He says your daughter drew it. Did you know that?"

"I didn't know that." She concedes, smiling warmly. "But it doesn't surprise me."

The tension breaks at that, the cadets giggling nervously, Kane laughing aloud and Bellamy giving a sheepish chuckle, as he meets her eye with the slightest shrug.

Of course, it is into the middle of this anxious hilarity that Indra appears, looking thoroughly bemused.

…...

It is not until later that evening that Clarke gets the chance to ask him about that drawing without an audience. They are curled on the sofa together, a cheerful film running on the tablet to which neither of them is giving a great deal of attention.

"You really have a sketch of me on your desk." She doesn't even bother making it a question. She knows it is true, worked it out as soon as she saw the look in his eyes that morning. She is getting quite good at reading him again, it would appear.

"Of course I do." He tries to pass it off with a confident smirk and a hint of the young man he was when they first met. "It's the best looking thing in that grey office."

She laughs at that, presses a kiss to his neck for no good reason. His neck is there, after all, and that's explanation enough for her.

He certainly doesn't seem to object, and curls his arm more firmly around her waist in response, hand coming to rest on the curve of her stomach.

"How's the little one doing?" He asks her softly, the movie apparently of rather less interest to him than the chance to discuss their child.

"She's perfectly healthy, as far as my mum can tell. It's grown up Madi I'm more worried about."

"Yeah. I get that." He sighs heavily, and the sound somehow expresses everything she is feeling, too. "She hasn't been dizzy since last week, though."

"That's because she's barely left the village since last week." She snaps, then thinks better of it. Bellamy is only trying to be calming and supportive. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about her."

"Me, too." He draws in a deep breath, and she prepares herself for whatever it is that she will not want to hear. "How do you think it's all going to work? With the anomaly and the baby?"

"I don't know." She hates admitting it, but it's the truth. "Madi was found just outside her village when she was very young, from what she's always said to me."

"You don't mean very young as in four years old, do you?" He asks softly.

"No. I mean more like four days. If that." She tries not to cry at the thought. "Sorry."

"Don't you dare apologise." He sounds a bit fierce, she thinks, and perhaps a little tearful, but she doesn't quite dare to look up at him to check. "None of this situation is your fault, and I'm only happy that it's you I get to face this with. And that, somehow, we end up with our little family at the end of it."

"Yeah." She agrees halfheartedly. "I've been thinking – do you think we should have a chat with Raven about this? We don't exactly have a midwife who specialises in time travel, but she's smart, and she's our friend. It might be worth speaking to her."

"You might be right. What have we got to lose?"

She doesn't bother pointing out to him that what they have to lose is their daughter. He already knows that full well.

…...

Clarke is beyond grateful for the familiar warmth of Bellamy's hand in hers as they walk into the workshop the following day. She can think of things she'd rather be spending Bellamy's lunch break on – perhaps a cheerful chat about Madi's lessons, or a quiet game of chess, or maybe a spot of speedy oral – but she knows that this is important, and that she will feel better when they have faced this challenge together.

At least, she hopes she will feel better. If the news is bad, she suspects she will feel considerably worse. And she's quite enjoying not feeling worse at the moment, and not spontaneously crying quite as often as she was a couple of months ago. So, in summary, she's feeling pretty damn anxious as they go to speak to Raven about how their daughter is supposed to end up in this anomaly.

"Hey, guys." Their friend's warm greeting does little to put her at ease. "What can I do for you? Why the long faces?"

"We wanted to ask you some questions about the anomaly." Bellamy begins carefully.

At that, Raven's smile slides rather rapidly off her face, and she sets down her screwdriver, and gestures at some empty chairs.

"Have a seat. How can I help you?"

"Do we know anything about how the anomaly works?"

"Very little. It's a spiral at its core, like I said to you before. But there seem to be these flares, too, at times when it's very active. From what you've said, it's those flares that particularly affect Madi."

"Yeah." Clarke murmurs in the general direction of the floor.

"I suppose what we really wanted to ask was about Madi's... journey." Bellamy is visibly struggling over his words. "How will our baby end up meeting Clarke all those years ago? What – what will we have to do?"

"I don't know, of course." Raven begins apologetically. "But if I had to guess, I would suggest that it's a straightforward case of she enters the anomaly here and exits it there. We've had patrols lose the occasional item out there, canteens or knives, the kind of things that would have shown up in the forest back on Earth as lost property or litter. Except at the time, we wouldn't have realised where they were coming from."

"So things – and... and by extension people – can just go straight from here to there?"

"We think so."

"And so – what – we're supposed to just leave our baby in the forest?" Clarke finds herself growing angry, although she realises it is not helpful to do so. She knows that these two people want only the best for her and for Madi, but it is a rather infuriating situation, she feels.

"I don't know." Even Raven appears to be near tears. "I just don't know, and I'm sorry. But – but if she was found on Earth as a baby, then yes, I think she probably does have to leave here as a baby."

"OK." Bellamy swallows, with obvious difficulty, and reaches an arm around Clarke. "OK. So that's not great news, but it was good to talk it over."

"Yeah." Raven agrees, rather more quietly than her usual strident tone. "I'm so sorry, guys. I know that you'll be the best parents, however long you get with her."

"Damn right we will." Bellamy rises to his feet, pulls Clarke up to stand by his side. "I think we should head home, Raven. Thanks for your time."

"No worries. I – I'll be thinking of you."

Those words are, just about, shocking enough to penetrate some of the fog Clarke can feel herself sinking into, so unusual do they sound on her friend's lips. But she can't quite reply, somehow, as she feels the tears start coursing down her cheeks in earnest, and feels Bellamy shepherd her gently out of the door with a warm hand on her lower back.

"Come on, Clarke. Let's get you home."

"But you have to go back to work."

"Not yet, I don't. Own boss, remember? And right now I'm going to stay with you."

Sure enough, he sticks by her side until they get back to the house, and some way beyond that. He herds her into the bedroom, gently removes her boots and jacket, and tucks her into the bed. Sheds his own outer clothes, and climbs under the covers next to her, and cradles her close against him.

She still seems to be crying. Huh. It appears there is nothing much to be done about that.

"You're OK, Clarke." Bellamy's warm voice is whispering in her ear, and she thinks that he sounds a bit tearful too, actually.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She snuggles more deeply into his tear-soaked shirt. "Madi isn't, though."

"Hey, we don't know that. Raven was only giving us her best guess. And Madi must be OK, Clarke, because she's OK right now. We just took her to school this morning, remember? And we're watching a movie with her this evening, that musical she wanted to see with the fish?"

She gives a damp chuckle at that. "Yeah. Thanks for looking out for me, Bellamy. I'm sorry – I know this can't be easy for you, either."

"It's not." He agrees. "But it's easier going through this with you than thinking you were dead all those years was."

"You mean that?"

"Yeah."

"I'm really sorry." She tells him, thinking there is something he needs to hear her say. Something she has been bottling up for a long time, now, and the news that they must, most likely, say goodbye to baby Madi so young has only made it more urgent. "I know how much you want that perfect family, and want to have a baby. I'm so sorry I can't give that to you."

"I think you've misunderstood me." He says, slowly and firmly, allowing her no opportunity to misunderstand him, this time round. "I told you I'd always wanted to have a family with you. The age of the children, or how they come to be with us, doesn't matter to me, Clarke. You're – you're my family."

She feels the air rush out of her lungs at that overwhelming vote of confidence, finds herself wondering if, perhaps, words like that might imply ever so slightly that he's still in love with her.

No, she can't think about that. Not right now, not when she's such a mess about Madi. That is a question for another time.

"Thank you." She murmurs against his chest.

"Any time."

"You – you said children." She repeats the word back at him, somewhat hesitant. "As in, more than one."

"Sorry." He is quick to apologise. "Slip of the tongue. Child. Madi. She's great, and I know you didn't ask to be pregnant, of course, so, yeah – child."

"You're right. I didn't want to be pregnant, at first. And I was only doing it to save Madi. But – I like having a family with you, too, Bellamy. Far more than I ever thought I would. And I've been thinking that – that if you wanted to, of course, there's – there's no reason Madi has to be the only child we ever have." She bites her lip, chokes on a sob, hides her face nervously against his skin, waits for his reaction.

Why is she nervous, anyway? He's already made it clear he's a bit overenthusiastic about this whole family thing.

"You mean that?"

"Yeah."

He squeezes her tight, nuzzles into her hair rather eagerly. "Thank you, Clarke. You have no idea how much that means to me."

The funny thing is, she does have a pretty good idea how much it means to him. Because she's beginning to realise it means about as much to her, too.

Minutes pass, and her sobs grow less and less frequent, and ever quieter. At last, with one, final hiccup, she finds that she is all cried out, and she eases herself a little way back from his chest.

"Thanks for staying." She tells him, a little sheepishly. "You can get back to work, now. I'm sorry for losing it like that."

"Don't be." He tells her softly, as she sits up by his side. "I like it."

"What?" Of all the stupid things to say, that is surely the stupidest of the lot, she seethes, suddenly furious and wondering what on Earth he can possibly mean by it.

He looks slightly like he wishes to punch himself in the face. "Sorry. That came out wrong. I just meant – I like that you're more open with your emotions now. That you tell me what's really going on. It makes it easier to – to care about you."

For a moment, she cannot quite breathe. Is he really saying what she thinks he is saying? That this new Clarke, this post-Praimfaiya unhinged Clarke, has some redeeming features, too?

"Thank you." She reaches out for his hand, squeezes it tight. "I like how you talk things through with me, now, rather than just losing it."

"I'm trying."

"You're doing great."

…...

They are going about things in rather the wrong order, Clarke cannot help but think. They are definitely living together, now – there are T shirts in the laundry, these days, not just the occasional pair of boxers – and she is becoming a little exasperated by quite how many pairs of Bellamy's boots there are to fall over just inside her front door. But, then again, he has more enthusiasm for cleaning the bathroom than she has ever had, so she supposes it's not such an inconvenience. Personally, she's not sure why he's so into that particular chore. She finds it all too convenient to forget that he earned his living as a janitor before he got distracted by working alongside her to save the human race.

So, yes, he's moved in. And they're having one child together, and have expressed the intention of having an indeterminate number of further children. And so they're basically living as husband and wife, not that anyone really seems to have bothered with those terms since they left the Ark.

But they've still not said anything about that whole love thing.

No, that's not strictly true. They've established that they used to love each other, a lifetime ago. They worked that out right back at the beginning of this crazy parenting situation. But they haven't made much of an attempt to explore how, exactly, they feel about each other now.

That's hardly surprising, she muses sadly. They both have reason to be afraid of love.

She brushes that thought firmly under the carpet, and arranges her notes into a neat stack. She's had enough of planning hunting parties for one morning, and she wants to go eat lunch with her friends.

Somehow, that impossible conversation with Raven about her daughter's fate has only made their friendship stronger, and they have started making a habit of regular lunches together. And quite often Emori joins them, too, or Echo, or both. Clarke hasn't exactly had a whole group of close platonic friends before now. There was Wells, she supposes, once upon a time, but he was only one boy, and that's so long ago now that she finds herself sadly struggling to visualise his face, these days.

No, she's happy today, damn it. Or she's practising being happy, at the very least.

She wanders over to the workshop, announces herself cheerfully. Raven and Emori answer, grabbing their jackets and bundling her straight back out of the door again. And then the three of them make their way to the mess hall, and are glad to find that Echo is already sitting at an empty table, waiting for them.

They take their food, and go to join her.

"Did everyone have a good morning?" Clarke asks, when they are all seated.

"Nope." Echo tells her without apparent distress. "Dawn patrol in the rain is not my idea of fun."

"Sucks to be you." Raven sounds unsympathetic at best. "Emori managed to blow up half the workshop today."

"It was not half the workshop." Emori corrects her with spirit. "It was a tenth, at best. And it's not blown up, only a little scalded."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want to tell yourself."

"You weren't hurt, I hope?" Clarke feels that someone ought to ask, and it seems it will have to be her.

"No, all good. John reckons I singed an eyebrow, but I think he was just taking the piss."

"He does that, I hear."

"How was your morning, Clarke?" Echo asks with every sign of genuine interest.

"Mixed. Did a couple of routine appointments in Medical, they were good. Planning the hunting parties was a bit dull."

"Not as dull as my date last night." Echo suggests with at least half a grin.

"What?" Raven says what they are all thinking.

"That hot guy from my archery class. Turns out he's not the brightest." She shrugs, takes a nonchalant spoonful of her soup. "Still hot, though."

"When do we get to meet him?" Emori asks.

"I'm not sure. He might not be the kind of guy I want to introduce to you all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I have a bit more self respect than to start dating someone boring just because he's hot." Yes, Clarke rather imagines that Echo does, actually. Self respect seems to be something she's rather good at.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out." Clarke offers, wondering quite what she is supposed to say at a time like this.

"Don't be." Echo waves a careless hand. "He's decent in bed, but I'm not about to fall in love with him. And that's fine, because I'm doing OK on my own."

"Good for you."

"Speaking of love..." Raven trails off into a dramatic pause, displaying her remarkable talent for tactlessness. "How's Bellamy?"

"He's fine." Clarke shrugs, eats some soup.

"Fine?" Emori asks incredulously.

"Fine?" Raven repeats.

"Yeah. He likes his new job a lot. He seems to have moved in. And he's learning how to -"

"Stop." Raven holds up a hand to command her attention. "Stop right there. He seems to have moved in? And I'm only just hearing this now?"

"What do you mean, seems to have moved in?" Emori queries with a furrowed brow.

"I mean that he spends all his time at our house. And he keeps all his stuff at our house. I mean, he keeps leaving his spare wet weather boots by the door. As if that's even a thing. But he hasn't said anything. I guess he just hasn't noticed it's happened."

"You're wrong." Echo informs her conversationally, and she blanches. How dare his ex-girlfriend stick her nose in, here, and suggest that she doesn't know him well enough to be able to tell that he's moved in? She forgets in this moment, conveniently, that she counts Echo as a friend, these days. Perhaps she hasn't got her emotions back on quite such an even keel as she hoped.

"I'm wrong?" She tries to sound calm, but does not entirely succeed.

"Of course he's noticed." Echo shrugs easily. "He's just scared of screwing up, or of you not wanting what he wants, and then he'd lose you again. So he's just gone ahead and done it because he doesn't know what to say."

"You think?"

"Yeah. I bet he'll say something eventually. When it's basically a done deal, and he's sure you're OK with it."

"I didn't think of it like that."

"That's because you have a lot of other things on your plate." Echo tells her gently. "And because you're still catching up on those missing years."

"I hate how we're both still so scared of all this." Clarke spreads her hands in a helpless gesture that literally encompasses four bowls of soup, but evidently her lunch companions understand that it is rather more of a metaphorical statement.

"I know." Raven pats her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"You'll work it out." Emori reassures her gently.

"You don't love someone for that long by accident." Echo concludes.

…...

Of course, she should have realised that Echo's prediction would come true. But when it happens, she doesn't waste time fretting that Bellamy's ex-girlfriend still knows him better than she does. She has more important things to worry about, like showing him that she is very much OK with it.

"Clarke?" He whispers into the half-darkness as they lie in bed one night, and she can tell from the tone of his voice that he has something on his mind.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk about something?"

"Sure." She knows what is coming, somehow. And she doesn't think it is only because of Echo's prediction. She thinks she might have known in her own right, too, now she comes to think about it.

"So I know you like it when I think about things rationally." He begins, evidently somewhat nervous, with a list that quickly becomes an anxious ramble. "So I was thinking, it might make a lot of sense if I moved in here. Then I'd be on hand when Madi gets ill, so that would be more convenient. And it would be more practical to raise a family together if we live together. And my flat would be perfect for a young person who wanted to move out from their family home, and I know there's a lot of people on that waiting list you've been working on. So, yeah, I thought that might be sensible." He grinds to a halt, and she can practically feel his nervousness lying heavy in the air.

"You missed out the most important logical reason." She informs him cheerfully.

"I did?"

"Yeah. I'd like you to move in. I think that has to be a key factor."

"You would?"

"Yeah. Very much." She pauses a little, wonders how far to push this. "I can't help but notice that you already pretty much have."

"You may have a point." He acknowledges, sounding rather more shy than she is accustomed to. "I'm sorry, maybe I should have said something earlier -"

"Bellamy." She cuts him off with a kiss. "It's fine. It would make me really happy if you moved in officially. And I know it would make Madi's year. Let's go get the rest of your stuff in the morning."

"I may have already packed." He admits sheepishly.

"Of course you have."

"So then I guess we just go to Kane to return the key to my apartment?"

"I seem to be acting head of Accommodation and Town Planning at the moment." She points out. "I think probably you just return the key to me."

"Great." She feels him breathe a sigh of relief. "So I guess that's all settled."

"Yeah." She agrees, moving onto all fours and crawling down the bed a little, ungainly from the unaccustomed weight of her five-month baby bump.

"What are you doing?" He asks, evidently confused at this sudden change of attitude.

"Offering you a housewarming gift." She explains, with a nod towards his crotch.

To give him his due, he is not slow to catch on.

"Oh. Ohh. You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." She traces a provocative finger over the head of his cock. "Welcome to your new home."

He starts to say something, presumably to thank her for the welcome, but he doesn't quite get the words out. No, she takes him into his mouth, and his attempt to form a sentence turns into a most pleasing groan. And then she starts working the length of him, wondering if he can feel quite how happy she is at the prospect of his officially moving in, entangling her fingers with his as he reaches out a hand towards her.

It's not the most practical thing she's ever tried to do, to be fair. She hasn't got the angle quite right, because pregnancy has its inconveniences. But based on his already-frantic breathing, and the intensity with which he is squeezing her hand, and the desperation with which he is crying her name, it seems like she probably won't have to persevere with this for long.

"Clarke." He huffs out the single syllable with evident difficulty, forces himself to construct a whole sentence. "You look so beautiful right now."

She hopes he can see the smile in her eyes as she looks up and meets his gaze in the dim light that drifts under the bedroom door. She would thank him for the compliment but her mouth is a little busy just this moment.

His other hand is knitted through her hair, now, urging her to take him deeper, begging her to work him faster. And she is only too happy to comply, actually, because there is something pretty incredible about watching him fall apart at her touch in this way.

She has to admit it, she's had dreams that looked a bit like this.

She peers up through her lashes, cranes her neck a little. It makes the position even more awkward, but for reasons she can't quite explain, she wants to look at his face today. Wants to pick out through the darkness the way his jaw is clenched against the pleasure, the shadows of his furrowed brow.

And then he's there, and she can taste the bitterness all over the back of her throat, but she doesn't dislike the flavour quite as much as usual, today.

She doesn't dislike much, as long as Bellamy's staying right here.

As if he has heard her thoughts, he tugs her towards him by the hand that is still joined to hers, and she awkwardly shuffles back up to her pillow, and to his waiting arms.

"You make me so happy, Clarke."

"You, too." She tells him, placing a soft kiss on his collarbone.

"And I'm not just saying that because you just sucked me off."

She laughs, and it is a more carefree sound than she has produced in centuries.

And it isn't until he is snoring softly, and she is lying awake and staring at the ceiling, feeling quite alone despite the warm body beside her, that she allows herself to remember the heartbreaking goodbye she will have to say only months from now.

a/n Thanks for reading!