What You Wished For Chapter 21, a misc. books fanfic

Chapter 21

On Sunday, Colin went back to Belinda Jane's grave for the first time since the Change. As they left their cell-like room and prison-like house for the day, Roy asked if Colin wanted to go. The idea was a little surprising; Colin hadn't thought about that at all. Not for a while. But he had clear memories of going regularly over the years, and knew it was something he and Roy had always done since life had shown them what they really were.

Incidentally, there was also a clear memory of Heather Lipschitz approaching Colin and Roy after one of their visits to the cemetery. Colin remembered her prying questions, her intrusion into one of the most private aspects of the twins' lives. They then gave her everything she deserved. Good-looking or not, Heather had become an annoyance, a pest, so they shouted at her furiously, warning her to keep her fucking nose outta our fucking business.

And now her darling boyfriend fucked another girl behind her back, Colin thought gleefully for a moment. Oh, Monday was gonna be glorious.

But Monday was later. There was serious business to attend to here and now.

Colin looked uncertainly at his twin as they arrived at Belinda Jane Borden's grave.

"So… I'm not really sure what we do next."

"Don't you remember?"

"Not right now."

"We just go here all the time to tell her what we did," Roy said. "She was so little. I doubt she ever knew we killed her. But we did, didn't we?"

"I did it on purpose," Colin blurted, gazing down at the headstone. "I did it on purpose and I'd do it again!" He started shaking, and his eyes blurred with tears. "I'm not sorry! I did it and I wanted to! That's the truth! If I could, I'd run you over twice!"

Roy gently set a hand on Colin's left shoulder and hugged his twin for a moment. Colin felt himself calm down, steadied by Roy's presence. Nothing was unbearable or impossible with Roy around. Not even this.

As he stepped up beside Colin, Roy said matter-of-factly, "I'm not sorry, either, Belinda. I meant to kill you. It's just what I am. Colin and me- this is how we are. We were gonna kill you sooner or later. It just happened to be that day. I guess maybe we'd be sorry if we could be, but we can't feel sorry for anything. We're remorseless. We're fucking monsters and nobody can stop us. But if we could ever feel sorry for anybody, then… I guess we'd feel sorry for you."

"It's good that this happened to you," Colin added. "If we hadn't killed you, we wouldn't have realized who we really are. Now we know. We'll always know."

Roy had picked some flowers somewhere, and he set them down at the headstone's base. Colin did the same. He didn't remember picking up the flowers, but he did remember doing this whenever he visited, so it made sense.

"I'm not sorry," Colin said again.

"Me, neither," Roy told the grave.

Then the two boys turned and left the cemetery. They didn't look back, but Colin knew they would return. They made these regular trips to talk to Belinda Jane because… someone had to remind her what her twin brothers were. Monsters. Someone had to keep telling her, because it was the truth, and the truth needed to be heard, at least by one person, somewhere.

Colin had been looking forward to Monday morning, and when he got to school, he was not disappointed. Somehow or another, both Heather Lipschitz and Colin Jacobs had gotten to school before Colin and Roy, and the showdown happened right in the commons. Over a hundred students looked to be standing all around the vast room, watching as Heather shouted furiously at Colin, crying as she did it.

"How could you? How could you?!" Heather screamed. "Why? I liked you, I liked you a lot! You were so nice, and- and you didn't have to be like him! You didn't have to do that with her! Was that all you wanted? You just wanted me to let you do that when we just met?"

Colin Jacobs was standing there awkwardly, looking like he wanted to sink into the floor. He shifted around, rubbed the back of his neck, looked away. He was pretty close to tears himself.

"I-I don't know," he said. "I don't know, it was- I was confused, and-"

"You were confused?!" Heather wailed. "Confused? That's why you went and did that? Because you were confused?"

"Hey," Colin Jacobs blustered. "Hey, look, I- it wasn't like that! I- well, you-"

"It wasn't like that, huh?" Heather cried. "So- so what was it like? Tell me that!"

Colin Jacobs shrugged, visibly at a loss. "It was- it was-"

"It was amazing," Lindsey Hadler called out, sauntering right up to Colin Jacobs and planting a kiss on his cheek. She looked at Heather with some amusement. "You realize he went three rounds, right? That's how much he needed to get laid already. You shouldn't have been so stuck-up. Colin had a great time, no thanks to you. Isn't that right, Colin?"

Now confronted with two pretty girls staring him down, Colin Jacobs looked more confused than ever. "Uh, well, I- that is- I was- I just-"

"No!" Heather interrupted him, holding up one hand. "I don't wanna hear it! You go have fun, then! You go be just like Colin Borden if that's what you want! Don't ever talk to me anymore, you understand? You hear me?!"

"Yeah, okay," Colin Jacobs managed to say. Then she was gone, storming off in tears. Roy would learn later that day that she had left Central High and was transferring somewhere else in Santa Leona. Some kids said it was the Cate School, others one public school or another. It didn't matter. She wasn't at Central High and she was out of Colin Jacobs' life.

But the scene took an immense toll on Colin Jacobs, who accepted a kiss on the lips from Lindsey Hadler before staggering out of the commons, right out the back doors. Colin started to go after him, but half a dozen seniors ambushed him then, said there was some football business Jason Perley wanted to talk about. It turned out that Greg Russell also wanted to talk about Colin and Roy joining the wrestling team in the spring, once football was in the off-season.

Altogether, Colin was forced to give up on talking to his protégé immediately, as much as he wanted to help. He finally decided to just skip class while Colin Jacobs was in P.E., and Roy quickly made sure that the twins were allowed to attend two gym classes back-to-back today.

When Colin got out of the showers at the end of his first P.E. class for the day, he was running a conversation with- easily- half a dozen other freshman boys at once. Roy was doing the same. They had suckups, hangers-on, and desperate would-be 'friends' all over the place. Every kid in this school could tell what a big deal the Borden twins were, what they were going to become. They wanted a piece of the action. Michael Whiteman had sure learned his lesson; he now made a point of always sitting next to the twins in class, always backing their opinions up, always laughing at their jokes.

But Colin didn't care about that right now. What he did care about was talking to Colin Jacobs, so he ordered the smaller boy to the showers despite it just being the start of class. Colin had already gotten permission to talk with Colin Jacobs alone, having explained that a lot had happened over the weekend, and Colin Jacobs just needed someone to talk to, a fellow athlete and friend.

Some joker decided to yank Colin Jacobs' towel away from his waist while he walked back, but Roy shoved that kid into a locker so hard the boy almost passed out. Colin Jacobs, meanwhile, just grabbed his towel and kept walking without even bothering to cover up. As confused and unhappy as he looked, he was copying something he'd doubtless heard of the Borden twins doing, still trying to be like them. It made Colin proud.

"All right," Colin yelled as the bell rang, "that's the start of class, geniuses! Get outta here. We'll catch up."

A chorus of young voices instantly agreed, and the room emptied out quickly. The boy who'd pranked Colin Jacobs actually bowed his head in front of the brown-haired teen and tearfully apologized before fleeing Colin and Roy's intimidating stares.

Colin Jacobs sat there, naked and alone on a wooden locker room bench, as the door to the gym swung shut. He took off his glasses and wiped away tears again and again, then simply left the glasses off and cried.

"Hey," Colin said, sitting down beside the leaner, lighter boy. He made sure the towel was firmly secured around his own waist, not wanting to embarrass his protégé and friend, then put one muscular arm around those bony shoulders. There was definitely muscle there, though, unlike before, and Colin Jacobs looked stronger than ever overall. He was making progress every day. This was just a stumble.

"Hey," Colin Jacobs managed. He nodded to Roy, who was sitting to his left. "Uh, sorry. Hey, guys."

"You don't have to be sorry for anything," Roy said.

"I saw what happened in the commons this morning," Colin told the Jacobs boy.

"I know," Colin said. He wept and hid his face in shame. "I tried to be strong like you guys. I messed up. Heather- she was my first girlfriend. She was so pretty. I loved her."

Colin snorted, and Roy suppressed a laugh. That made Colin Jacobs look more distressed than ever; he hung his head and cried.

"Hey, man," Colin said. "Listen to me. Heather was foxy as hell, but be honest. Tell me and Roy. What was it like getting pussy for the first time? How'd you like fucking a terrific piece of ass like Lindsey Hadler?"

"I didn't want to," Colin said. "I mean, she kinda made me. She got on me. But then I was, um, I was on top of her after that. Then she was on all fours or something."

"Oh!" Roy exclaimed. "You fucked her fucking doggy-style? Got a ride, gave it to her missionary, and then you fucked her doggy-style! Holy shit!"

"That is great, man! That's fucking amazing!" Colin cheered, clapping Colin Jacobs on the back.

"I shouldn't have," Colin Jacobs pleaded remorsefully. "I-why did I do that? What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Colin said firmly. "You wanted her, and you had her. You fucked Lindsey Hadler and I bet she'll want more. Chicks always do."

"But- but- what I did-"

"You loved every second of it," Roy said. "Don't lie. You're an animal and you stuck your cock in her and you fucked her like an animal. It felt great and you can't wait to do it again."

"But-"

"Say it," Colin ordered. His voice was calm, and he drew Colin Jacobs to him a little, keeping that strong, reassuring arm around the lean boy's shoulders.

"Um… I fucked Lindsey Hadler, guys. I loved every second of it. I'm just a fuckin' animal. I stuck my cock in her, and I fucked her like an animal. Uh, it felt great. I'd do it again. I can't wait. I wanna do it again."

"You want to what?" Roy asked.

"I wanna fuck Lindsey Hadler."

"Why?" Colin asked.

"Because…" Colin sniffed, wiped at his eyes. "Uh, because I'm a fucking animal."

"Colin," Colin said, "you get urges just like all guys do. You sit in class and you stare at the foxy girls in front of you, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you want to fuck each and every one of them."

"Yeah," Colin Jacobs said, like he was trying to convince himself. "Yeah, I do."

"I bet you had eyes on them for weeks. That's why she was so desperate to get you to fuck her. She knew you were gonna end up humping somebody else. She needed it to be her."

"She- she was desperate, for me?" Colin Jacobs asked, looking up. "I-I don't get it."

"You're a fucking model in the making," Colin told him. "You fuck girls. You run Cross Country and manage the football team. What the fuck are you even sad about? Your life is fuckin' awesome!"

Colin Jacobs shifted uncertainly, nodded, straightened himself up. "Yeah," he said, trying to come around to the idea. "Yeah, okay."

"We're gonna hang out after practice," Roy said. "And you're gonna give us every detail there is."

"I just got some ass," Colin Jacobs said, sounding a little forced but trying his best to be casual. "It's not that big a deal."

Colin grinned. "Now, be honest. Are you actually sorry that you fucked Lindsey Hadler?"

"N-no," Colin Jacobs said. He tried again, firmer this time: "No, I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because she fucking puts out," Colin Jacobs said. "She gave me some pussy and after a bullshit week like last week, I fuckin' needed it."

Colin and Roy laughed delightedly. Colin hugged his protégé, and the skinny boy looked hopefully up at his hero and idol. He was learning, all right.

"One thing I wanna know for now," Roy said. "When you fucked her in missionary style, what'd you do when- did you come on her face?"

"No," Colin Jacobs said. "I, uh, it was on her br- her tits."

"Oh!" Colin and Roy shouted together. They each grabbed one of Colin Jacobs' wrists, held them up for a high five, then slapped his palms so hard Colin Jacobs almost fell back into the row of lockers.

"C'mon," Colin told the lean boy. "let's all get into our gym uniforms. I wanna go play some basketball with the newest man at this school."

Colin Jacobs looked at Colin, saw he meant that, and smiled. Guilt still lingered, but he was getting over it, and the pride in his expression was genuine. Colin Jacobs looked at the Borden twins with undisguised love and admiration for a moment, then went to get dressed. He held his head high and walked like he was some newly-appointed duke or marquis for the rest of the day. He talked coarsely and roughly the whole time he hung out with Colin and Roy once practice was over, and Stephen and Philip listened, spellbound, as he graphically recounted his first, second, and third time.

It was, all in all, a good day. Colin had sensed there might be trouble when Heather found out, but Colin Jacobs was learning. He was growing up fast, indeed.

After yet another week of enduring the brutal routine of practice, practice, game, game, and class, class, Colin wondered once more how he'd ever let himself sign up for all this. He had more friends than he could keep track of. He had more commitments than he had time for. He had more obligations than he knew what to do with.

When he wasn't tutoring one of his buddies on the teams- some upperclassmen were quietly asking for his and Roy's help now, having realized how scholarly the twins were- Colin was trying to keep Karen Smith from getting booted back to 6th grade. And when he wasn't doing that, he was living at the gym, living on the football field. He played and played hard under those blinding lights. He fell asleep with the shouts of coaches, the cheers of the girls, the roar of the crowds still resounding in his ears. If Roy hadn't been there beside him every step of the way, Colin knew he couldn't have handled it all.

But at least Colin had two girlfriends. And he couldn't get enough of either of them.

By far, the best perk of dating a sophomore girl was that she had ready access to a car and a license of her own. So under the guise of driving a 'friend' to school, Olivia made a detour every morning after picking up Colin. Even if it was getting a little chilly outside sometimes, the big '58 Impala had a backseat just begging to be used. Colin and Olivia knew better than to ignore that. After a long, extremely enjoyable make-out session in the front seat, Colin and Olivia hopped in the back and got to "the good stuff," as Olivia called it.

Colin agreed. Oh, yes, he did. Especially right now, when he was enjoying a quick session or three before school started. Lying on top of Olivia, Colin worked his hips to thrust for all he was worth. It wasn't half bad.

Olivia was sighing, panting, just having a great time. Colin leaned in, kissed her lips, her neck, her chest. He was almost there. No, he was. Colin pulled out at the last second, gasping as waves of ecstasy washed over him. This was heaven.

When he was done, Colin smiled, laughed, and gave Olivia a cocky shrug. "Well, wanna go ag-"

Knock, knock, knock!

"What?" Olivia said, and then she squealed and grabbed random clothes to cover herself. Colin looked and saw a frigging cop looking at him. A goddamned cop.

"Damn it!" Colin hissed, furiously grabbing his clothes to get dressed. Olivia did the same, and then the two teenagers introduced themselves to Officer Chambers, the school safety officer, about as casually as they could manage. Colin was furious but he managed to hide it. Barely. As he and his second girlfriend were marched off to the front office, Colin's greatest concern was not getting in trouble, not even close. It was the fact that he hadn't been allowed to go for round two.

Marylyn Nolan had almost given in to the charm-show Colin Borden had given her the other day. And why not? Everyone else had. He was loved by the freshman girls, admired by guys from 9th to 12th grade, and his teachers had only praise to offer when Marylyn had asked. But almost as an afterthought, Marylyn had decided that something was off about Colin Borden. Something about his behavior- that abrupt show of unbridled fury in her office, for instance- wasn't quite right.

So Marylyn had started looking further, going beyond the shining exterior of Colin and his twin. It didn't take long to find the boys had more to them than met the eye. They had been adopted years back by the Bordens, taking that name as their own by default, but there was no record of their birth parents or where they were today, or even why they had given the boys up for adoption. They had been noted in junior high as having a massive crowd of friends but few close ones.

And then there were the scars.

That was by far the most shocking part of Marylyn Nolan's behind-the-scenes investigation into the Borden twins. She went through everything; descriptions, notations, medical and police reports. That little girl, dead, a tragic accident. The boys savagely beaten soon after, their backs permanently scarred. The mental scarring was worse, Marylyn knew. It had to be. There was no indication that Colin and Roy had ever talked about this with anyone, but it had to be on their minds constantly. It was a wonder that their behavior was so ordinary- that they acted just like their peers.

But maybe that was the key word. Beneath the charm and the muscles, the meteoric rise in popularity in just the first weeks of high school, maybe they weren't the same as what they acted like. If you took them at face value, it was as if the accidental death of their baby sister, their adopted mother's only biological child, and the subsequent beating their adopted mother had given them had never happened.

Marylyn was so engrossed in thinking about all this that she didn't hear the school security officer, Sergeant Chambers, knocking on the door arch.

"Mrs. Nolan?"

"Yes," Marylyn said, closing the files up and putting them away. "Yes, did you need something, John?"

Then she looked and saw the two teenagers sitting in the waiting area. A pretty blonde sophomore, her cheeks tinged pink, looked at Colin or Roy Borden and got a roguish smile and a wink. She blushed further and looked away.

"I think you had better have a talk with them," Chambers said.

"Colin or Roy?"

"He says he's Colin, but I can never tell."

"That's one of his girlfriends," Marylyn said, recognizing Olivia Hastings. "It's Colin. What's happened?"

"Same thing Colin got caught doing in that empty classroom, ma'am."

"I see. Go ahead, send him in. I'll talk this out with Colin first."

Colin Borden strode confidently into Marylyn's office moments later, completely at ease. With his classically handsome looks, his supreme fitness and his natural aptitude for social interactions, it was easy to see why boys and girls alike were drawn to him. With his special brand of reckless daring and unshakable courage, he had automatically emerged as a leader among his peers.

The problem was that he was starting to display behavior, to set an example, that was not good for him or his classmates.

Colin sat down at the chair beside Marylyn's desk, folded his hands behind his head."Mrs. Nolan," Colin said calmly, "I don't get why I'm here. No offense."

Looking up at him, at that handsome, suntanned face, Marylyn Nolan said, "You and I both know there's a good reason why you're here."

"Do we?" Colin asked, his voice cold. "I was fucking my girl in the parking lot before school. You people drink coffee, I get some ass. Just how I start the day."

"Colin, do you ever wish you knew your birth parents?"

"What?" Colin asked, more a reflex than an answer. He looked at her, visibly startled.

"I was just wondering if you ever miss your biological parents, or wish you could meet them."

With a shrug of one mighty shoulder, Colin shook his head. The cool surfer-kid was already reasserting himself.

"They must've had some awesome genes in there somewhere, because Roy and me showed up. I mean, we're basically the ideal guys. It's why girls wanna see us naked so much."

"But would you want to meet them? Hypothetically, what if you could? Would you want to?"

"No. If they cared they would've been there a long time ago. They made me and Roy but no one's ever been there for us." He shrugged again. "I don't care. I know at least that Roy and me, we're superior. We're better than most kids. Faster, stronger. We fuck better, too. We're fine like we are." Colin laughed. "Actually, we're better than fine. We're amazing. Just about perfect."

"Colin, the way you approach sex isn't healthy, for you or for a girl."

"I'm old enough to get it up," Colin said. "Ask either of my girlfriends; I'm great at fucking. I'm amazing. I have fun, they have fun. What's the issue?"

"Having sex in the school parking lot is the issue."

"I just said that's my coffee," Colin replied. "See? Can I at least fuck my girl some more before class? Got some new techniques I'm dying to try out on her. She's gonna love 'em, Mrs. Nolan."

"No, Colin, you can't."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because what you were doing is against school rules and it's against the law in the adult world, too. And right now you're being very disrespectful, Colin."

"Well, sorry," Colin said. He sighed, pulled his arms up over his head and stretched, flexing the powerful, well-sculpted muscles there. He noticed that she noticed. "Mrs. Nolan, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"Colin-"

"I mean it. You could be a model. If I weren't dating two girls, I'd ask you out in a second."

"Colin-"

"I'm not even mad that I didn't get to go for round two. You think I really care about Olivia? C'mon, Mrs. Nolan. She's fun to fuck but we both know you're better." Colin dropped his voice. "C'mon, Marylyn. Just meet me after school, back here. Or tell me where your place is. I don't care. Either way, you'll get to see everything all the girls want to. You won't regret it. And I won't tell. I'll keep it secret if you do. Some things you shouldn't talk about. You should just do them. Know what I mean, Marylyn?"

Marylyn felt her cheeks heating. Colin smiled, knowing he was getting to her. He leaned back in his chair, stretching the fabric of his shirt. As it drew up, revealing his taut, suntanned belly, Marylyn caught a glimpse of chiseled, hardened abs. He brushed a piece of lint off one sleeve, drawing attention to his powerful biceps.

"I think we know what we both want, Marylyn," Colin said quietly, giving her the same wink and smile he had just given one of his two girlfriends.

With tremendous effort, Marylyn Nolan resisted. She refused. First in her mind, then aloud.

"Colin, I think we're going to have to have a meeting with your parents."

That did it. Colin's surfer-boy charmer persona crashed down and he stared at her in shock.

"What?" he almost yelped. "Why?"

"Colin, you're young. You're not even one semester into high school and you're developing some unhealthy- highly unhealthy- ideas about sex."

"Bullshit, I just-"

"I wasn't finished. You're getting these ideas early and it's obvious they're making an impact. It's leading to unacceptable behavior already and you're not even one semester in."

"I'm playing on two football teams, what the hell do you expect me to-"

"Colin, on top of all that, you've just propositioned the school counselor. Do you understand that a student, any student, can't do that? On top of that you seem unusually quick to anger at times. I want you to be emotionally and mentally healthy and I'm beginning to wonder if you, and maybe Roy also, don't need some form of help."

Colin didn't answer. He sat there, rigidly erect in his chair, staring at her with what could only be described as hate. His eyes had gone dark and something burned deep inside them, something that chilled Marylyn and promised terrible wrath if she persisted.

But she had to. For Colin, because she cared about him, she had to.

"I mean nothing against you when I say any of this, Colin. Like a lot of people in this school, I like you and I respect you. I want you to do well in high school. I want you to have fun and make friends. But I think we need to get together with your parents and start the process of talking this out."

"My parents," Colin repeated. "My parents got rid of me. Didn't want me. Or Roy. Those people aren't our parents."

"Well, they're your adopted parents. That's what I meant. And they're the closest thing we have. They're the ones we need to have a meeting with."

Colin's hands had long since balled into fists. He clenched and unclenched them, flexing the bulging muscles in his arms. He was breathing hard through his nose. "Next week," he forced out. "Can we do that next week?"

Grateful to receive even a little cooperation, Marylyn nodded. "Yes, I was thinking next Wednesday. And we'll get you out of class early so you don't miss any practice."

"Fine," Colin said. He sighed, and some of the tension went out of him. "That's fine, Mrs. Nolan."

"We'll talk more later, Colin," Marylyn said. "Thank you for being so understanding."

"Sure thing." Colin got up and opened the office door. He went over to Olivia, kissed her on the lips. Marylyn couldn't hear what was said, but caught her saying "my place" and "after school." Obviously the two kids wanted more. Marylyn wished she could talk them out of it, but there were bigger battles to fight. Especially on a Friday.

Colin seethed throughout much of the morning, but after spending lunch out in Olivia's car vigorously making up for lost time, Colin felt much, much better. After a quick session in a remote girls' bathroom with Karen before 6th, Colin actually felt sane again.

It was necessary, Colin knew. If he wasn't constantly fucking somebody beautiful, he'd go crazy. He had to do this or he'd lose everything, because nobody wanted to be friends with somebody crazy. Mrs. Nolan- Marylyn- just didn't get it.

But maybe she would. Maybe Colin could approach her, talk to her, reason with her. Help her understand. Colin knew he could do that. It was just a matter of enlisting Roy in the effort.

After 7th ended, Colin waded through the crowds and looked for Roy. Incredibly, Penneman and Molinoff had both let the boys have today off, so there was time, for once, to get some rest. And to take care of unfinished business. To do what needed doing. Colin knew by now that when something needed to be taken care of, when it was urgent, you didn't wait. You handled it immediately and got it out of the way so it couldn't trouble you anymore.

So when he found Roy in the halls, Colin pulled him aside and explained that there was a problem, and Roy needed to be part of the solution. Roy stood ramrod straight and asked, "How can I help?"

"Listen," Colin began. "We better get our bikes and go someplace quiet."

Roy nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

At the junkyard, sitting in the back of an Oldsmobile Cutlass as the sun descended, Colin explained his plan to Roy. He had impulsively thought of it this morning, was impulsively deciding to go forward with it now, and he was essentially making it all up as he went, but… he had to do it.

There was a Threat in the way, and the Threat could not be allowed to cause Problems. Because… Problems meant losing status, prestige, the few things that gave reprieve from a lonely, empty life, tormented by knowing, always, that you were a fucking monster underneath.

So Colin talked, and Roy listened, and Colin couldn't have been more grateful. Especially when he asked if Roy was with him, and Roy laughed.

"I never wanted anything else."

"You'll help me?"

"Yes. Thanks to you, we know what we need to do."

Colin grinned. "Then let's go do it."

The story the Borden twins had hidden from the world around them was both frightening and fascinating. Why they had worked so hard to hide it wasn't tough to guess; they were probably ashamed of what they were, or what they thought they were. Guilt, mixed with the pain and anguish of the beating that gave them their scars, drove them to bury the whole incident and bury it deep. And being the outgoing boys they were, they must have realized that they had nothing to gain and much to lose in the school social network if they were known as the twins that killed their sister.

Marylyn Nolan knew it was an accident. Anybody could read the reports and see it was nothing else, just a terrible accident. But the boys probably didn't see it that way. All those years studying psychology had taught Marylyn that people who endured traumatic events, especially ones they were likely to feel guilty about, suffered more the longer they went untreated. It wasn't a fate she wanted for Colin or Roy. They were using their considerable charms to fool the people around them into thinking all was well, but asking Colin just a key question or two had revealed cracks in the façade.

Something was wrong with Colin Borden and his brother. Marylyn wanted to know what. If she knew the details, she could help the twins with as little fuss and unwanted attention as possible. The boys would probably be reluctant to accept the help, but they needed it.

The whole thing had Marylyn so engaged that she took all her notes and planned recommendations on the subject home with her, intending to bring it all back on Monday.

The boys are obviously using sex to distract from mental and emotional problems they are having, Marylyn wrote, adding to her remarks.

The very things they engage in the most- social interactions with their peers, athletics, and sexual relations- are put at the front of their minds at all times so they don't have to think about other things. Past trauma- namely from the incident that resulted in Belinda Jane Borden's death- is unquestionably present and taking a toll on their lives. At the moment we have mostly theories, but observation supports them and further investigation is all but guaranteed to do the same. I-

DING-DONG!

Marylyn sat upright in her office chair; that was her doorbell! Ted wasn't due back from his conference in St. Louis for another day. He did like to surprise his wife sometimes, but Marylyn doubted it was him. So who was it?

Getting up and leaving her notes behind, Marylyn Nolan headed for the front door cautiously, still wondering who it was.

DING-DONG!

"What the-?" Marylyn wondered aloud. Who was that?

As she got close to the door, the 30-year-old blonde checked to make sure her red silk bathrobe was buttoned closed, then put her eye to the peep-hole.

A boy was standing there, naked from the waist up. He was blond, muscular, and his handsome face was dotted with brown freckles. Hardened, chiseled abs, pecs, shoulders and biceps rounded out by a flawless suntan made him quite stunning to look at. Marylyn would have known him anywhere.

It was Colin Borden.

As Marylyn watched, the youth shifted the straps of the blue backpack he was wearing. Marylyn had noticed that Colin tended to wear and use blue, while Roy favored red. It was one of the only indications they gave anybody as to who was who between them.

Marylyn hesitated a moment, briefly wondering if she ought to call somebody. Unable to decide as to who, however, she went ahead and opened the door.

Colin immediately looked up at her, smiling brightly. "Hey, Mrs. Nolan!"

"Colin?"

"Yep!"

"Jesus- what're you doing here?"

Colin shrugged his well-muscled shoulders and stretched a little, leaning back a bit. The front porch light played nicely over his extraordinary physique, and Marylyn felt a little flip-flop in her stomach. Colin was extremely good-looking. It wasn't hard to see why he had such an easy time getting girls to sleep with him.

"Sorry, Mrs. Nolan," Colin said casually. "Look, I know it's late. And this is, you know, kinda outta the ordinary. But I need to talk to you. And I promise, this won't take long."

Marylyn considered telling him to get lost, but finally decided on hearing him out. "Okay."

"Back at the office, you said something about talking to my parents? Telling them about how I was having sex with my girlfriend in the parking lot?"

"Mm-hmm," Marylyn nodded. That was one of a number of things she aimed to talk about. More people than the Borden parents needed to get involved in this, but that was a topic for next week.

Colin shrugged again. "Yeah… the thing is, that can't happen. It's just not good for anyone. Not for me, not for my 'parents', and it's really, really not good for you, Marylyn."

"Colin-"

"Look, I need to be honest," Colin sighed. He looked away, then returned to steadily meeting Marylyn's gaze. "I need to sleep with you. It's nothing like you think, okay? I mean, I've been attracted to people before. I've fucked good-looking girls before. But you've got this body that I just can't stop thinking about. And with Ted away in St. Louis right now, it's going to waste. I love you. I wanna have a kid with you. Ted doesn't even need to know it's not his. I promise. We can make this work, I know it."

What in the world?

Marylyn spoke carefully, keeping herself calm only with considerable effort. "Colin, listen to me. I have to do my job. You propositioning me in my office today was inappropriate. What you just said now is even worse. I have to do my job. And with the way you're behaving now, I think that meeting's gonna have to happen sooner and involve more people. You can't talk to me like this. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now."

Colin gave a small shrug. "So, the answer's no? You're not interested?"

"That's correct, Colin. Yes."

Colin smiled. "Okay. If that's what you want. You know, you really shouldn't have kept a key under the doormat. It's the first place I told Roy to look."

WHAT? NO!

Sensing something was terribly wrong, Marylyn went to slam the door shut then, but Colin caught the door with one hand and put his open palm to her chest with the other. He shoved hard and Marylyn was surprised by his strength, the sheer force he pushed her back with. Marylyn hit the floor of her house before she even knew what was happening.

As Colin bolted inside and shut the door, another pair of hands reached down and put a damp cloth to Marylyn's face. She caught the scent of some kind of chemicals before the lights went out.

Colin hadn't lied when he said he wanted to sleep with Marylyn Nolan. If she had accepted his offer, right up to conceiving a child together, he would have gladly spared her and visited her house constantly. The urge to mate grew more overpowering every second he looked at her. Sure, she had created the Threat and was going to remain a Problem as long as she tried to "do her job," but she was a stunning beauty all the same and Colin had insisted she be given a chance to live.

Of course she'd said no. Of course she'd clung to stupid ideas about professionalism and the barrier between a teenage student and a thirty-year-old staff member. Rejection stung in any form, and Colin was used to being liked, accepted, rewarded. Never rejected. He'd even deliberately left his shirt tied to his bike, giving her a fantastic look at him, and she'd still said no!

After Roy knocked her out with that chloroform rag, Colin could wait no longer. He pulled that bathrobe open and had her right there in the hallway. Roy took a turn after Colin was done, and after that the two boys carried Marylyn Nolan upstairs and tied her to the bed.

They used her, taking turns, for over an hour. Colin wanted her so badly that every time he had to sit there and watch Roy felt like eternity. Eventually Roy began complaining that his balls hurt, and Colin's were throbbing so badly he could hardly stand up and walk. Only after pushing himself to exhaustion, where he was sweating heavily, breathing hard, and generally feeling exhausted, did Colin finally relent.

"Okay, Mrs. Nolan. Marylyn, I'm sorry." Colin went to his jeans, pulled out a switchblade knife. "This- oh, man. It's been heaven. You have no idea."

Marylyn Nolan shook her head, made some unhappy noises behind the fabric Roy had used for a gag. She pulled uselessly at the torn bedsheets that had been used to tie down her wrists and ankles. Her body was as beautiful as ever, and Colin knew he'd always remember it. The spectacular look of her, the feel of her. It was a shame she'd talk if she lived.

"Colin?" Roy asked.

"Yeah?"

Roy snapped open his own switchblade. His eyes were gleaming. "I'm ready. I'm ready to do this."

"Me, too," Colin said, smiling at his brother. "Remember, we cut her first. Slow. Then we kill her."

Marylyn Nolan was screaming behind her gag, shaking her head rapidly back and forth, eyes wide in panic.

"It's a hard life, Marylyn," Colin said sweetly. "We gotta get you before you get us. You forced us to do this. Everyone's waiting for their chance to hurt you, and I took mine before you took yours. It's just how life is. Fuck or be fucked, Marylyn."

"Our first," Roy said, practically quivering with excitement. "Our first, Colin."

"I know," Colin said. He smiled at Roy. "I love you, liba Roy."

"You're my best friend. My only friend. I love you so much, Colin."

The two boys were almost crying now, and for a moment they forgot the terrified woman tied to the bed in front of them. They embraced for a moment, then returned to the business at hand.

Colin made the first cut, a deep wound along her left cheek. Roy did the same on the right. They worked together effortlessly, slicing, cutting and puncturing, ignoring the muffled protests and agonized sounds of pain.

As the work grew more and more gruesome, Colin found he was enjoying himself more than ever. He was so hyper-focused on making this a work of art, a true masterpiece, that he didn't notice she was dead until twenty minutes after the end had come.

"Jeez," Roy said with a laugh. "Look at us, man!"

Colin glanced at himself, at Roy, and had to laugh. There was blood everywhere. Their stunning, muscular frames were decked out in quite a bit of red now.

"You even got some on-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Roy said, still laughing. "Hey, better check yours, Colin, she splattered, you, too!"

"Shit!" Colin exclaimed once he looked. "It's okay. Karen can suck it all off. Or Olivia." He grinned. "I love having two girlfriends."

"The fire?" Roy asked, motioning. "Are we getting to that?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure. C'mon. Let's take all the gas she has for that mower, a few starter logs, whatever. I wanna burn this fucker to the ground. But first we wash off."

Quickly and efficiently, Colin and Roy used the master bedroom's shower to clean off the copious amount of blood each of them was decorated with. They dressed again with their clothes, which they had carefully left outside the bedroom to keep them clean.

Then they started a fire with every fuel source they could find, right in the center of the living room downstairs. They fled out the back door, locked it behind them. Roy insisted on taking the spare key as a trophy.

Once they got back to their bikes, Colin looked back at the growing fire. He smiled, pleased at his handiwork. No, not just his- his and Roy's. Because there was nothing worth doing if it wasn't done beside Roy. They were partners, a team. Brothers.

"It's us against the world, Roy," Colin said, staring at the blaze. They were far enough out that no one would even see them, not here in the dark. They'd all be looking at the burning house. "It's us against the world, and the world better look out."

"I know," Roy said. He hugged Colin, and suddenly he was crying.

"You okay?" Colin asked.

"Yeah. It's- it's just so beautiful!"

Colin smiled and hugged Roy back. "I know. It won't be the last one."

Despite the distance they'd made sure to put between themselves and the house, Colin and Roy decided it was best not to stick around too long. They rode out into the night as the distant sirens began to grow closer, and by the time the first fire truck arrived on the scene, they were long gone.

No one had ever seen them.

All through the weekend, Colin was in a wonderful mood. He brushed off his adopted parents' indifference, ignored the coldness of the Borden home, and laughed off the emptiness that pervaded so much of his life. He pushed all the negativity far, far away and drowned it with the things he enjoyed. He worked out, he surrounded himself with the boys who thought they were his friends, spent quality time with the few who really were.

He also was quite busy keeping two girlfriends happy, but thankfully, Roy was plenty willing to 'assist' when Colin needed a break. The two of them laughed a lot about it, delighted that no one could ever tell them apart unless that was what the twins wanted. The opportunities for fun and amusement were endless.

On Monday, Colin made a point of talking to Colin Jacobs, like always, and through the day he was pleased to hear multiple people remark on the fact that Colin Jacobs was no longer the total lightweight he had been as the semester started. All the exercise was making a difference; by the end of this year, Colin Jacobs would weigh a full ten pounds more, all in muscle, than he had before starting 9th grade.

It was a good start to an even better year. Colin was proud to see it happen.

There was talk of the fire at the Nolan place; nobody seemed to know anything. A few of the guys speculated about how it could have started, and how tragic it was that nothing was left of the pretty school counselor, nothing but ashes.

"I bet she would've been a great piece of ass," Roy said ruefully. "It's a fuckin' waste, guys."

"Jeez, man," Ben Markinson laughed. "Is there anything else you think about?"

"Football," Colin Jacobs interjected. "That's the twins, man. Fucking and football."

"Yeah? So?" Ben asked. "I like those two things."

"Well, when you start doing the first one, let us know," Colin Jacobs cracked. "It's a lotta fun, dude."

Every freshman in the gym erupted with laughter when they heard that. Colin laughed, too, but he was also thinking about Ted Nolan. He was gonna have a talk with old Ted when the funeral rolled around. Sympathies would be expressed, and sorrow, too. All the right words would be said with all the right tone, the right emotions. Ted would never suspect a thing. Nobody would; through careful inquiry, Colin and Roy had learned that Mrs. Nolan's notes on them, any evidence of her desire to stir things up and create trouble for the twins, didn't exist. She must have taken it all home to keep working on it, and thus it was burned up in the fire.

It wasn't so hard. None of it was. In fact, it was almost too easy.

Due to his rising popularity and social status, Colin Jacobs, football manager and cross country runner, was now allowed in the Athletics facilities anytime any of the teams were there. They all knew him and liked him, especially the freshmen and sophomores. His antics at the party two weeks ago were the talk of the school; everybody wanted to know more about the funny kid with the glasses and the abrupt change in his romantic life.

Was he dating Lindsey Hadler now, or did he just have a one-night stand with her at the party? How did he like his first time, anyway? How did he feel about 'joining the men', as the guys liked to say it?

Since Penneman and Molinoff had both directed their teams to the weight room for today's practice, everybody on the football team was there, and everybody was giving Colin Jacobs a hard time about one thing or another. Colin and Roy watched from a distance at first, and were quickly pleased to see the mousy-haired boy was doing a great job of taking the ribbing in stride and displaying the right sense of humor. He made crude and vulgar jokes and remarks, told graphic stories about his exploits, doubtless embellishing some of them.

Heather would have doubtless gone on complaining about that, but Colin Jacobs was manning up and the guys loved it. Colin finally pushed off the wall he'd been leaning on, approached Colin Jacobs, and steered him away from the crowd of athletes.

In the locker room, Colin Jacobs turned to his idol curiously. "What is it?" he asked. Ever alert, he sensed something was up, and rightly so.

"My brother's got something for you," Roy said.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Sure."

"So what is it?"

Colin took off his blue backpack, unzipped it, handed over the clothes he distantly remembered wearing once, the glasses he had apparently needed. It was all an increasingly-vague memory now, but Colin knew that the Jacobs boy was unusually familiar to him. Roy had said yesterday that there had been a different world once, in in which there was no Colin Borden and Roy Borden, only Colin Jacobs and Roy Borden as blood brothers, the best and strongest kind of friends.

But that world had ceased to be because Colin and Roy had wanted to be brothers right from birth. They had wished for it, confessed that they wanted it more than anything in the world, and somehow, through some power or magic contained in the old Kingman place, they had gotten what they wanted.

"You're not Colin Jacobs," Roy had said as Colin looked down at the items, the things he'd been wearing the night that everything changed. "He's someone else. You should give him his stuff."

Colin agreed. He certainly had no use for these items anymore.

"Listen," Colin said, "I got these for you. It's a weird kinda gift, I know, but I had 'em lying around. I think the glasses should fit you, too."

"You got me clothes and glasses?" Colin Jacobs asked, frowning in confusion.

"Yeah."

"Well… thanks. I think. But… why?"

"I had some money I wasn't doing anything with."

Colin Jacobs considered this, shrugged, then put down the clothes on the nearby bench. He took off his glasses, then started as he looked closer at the pair Colin had given him.

"Hey!"

"What is it?" Colin asked.

"These glasses- they're the same as mine! I mean, they- they look identical! They even have the same scratches, like this one here on the right arm!"

Colin glanced at Roy, who cleared his throat and said, "So, would you believe me if I told you that Colin used to be you, and those were his glasses and the clothes he was wearing the night the two of us altered life and the universe itself by wishing to be biological brothers?"

For a moment, the room was silent. Colin Jacobs stared at the two identical boys, visibly at a loss. He looked at Colin. "You- you saw me, you said… I didn't exist anymore."

"I had to get that close to see the marks on your glasses, and I had to get talking with your Dad to find out where the glasses came from," Colin lied.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah." Colin shrugged. "Well, no. What I really did was alter the frigging infinitive multiverse with a wish." Raising his right hand, Colin snapped his fingers.

Colin Jacobs stared at him, visibly teetering on the edge of whether to believe Colin or not. Even for an avid reader with a wildly active imagination, what Colin was telling him was obviously too much.

Just when Colin began to wonder if telling the literal truth had been too bold a choice, Colin Jacobs grinned.

"You're making it up, aren't you? You know what kinda books I like to read."

"Sure do."

"That's really good. Honest. You almost had me."

"C'mon, just thank my brother and let's get back out there," Roy said.

"This is kinda strange, but, I can use all this," Colin Jacobs said. "Thanks, guys."

After Colin Jacobs put the items with his bag in one of the lockers, Colin looked at his protégé, who in turn stood straight and tall, confidently meeting his idol's eyes. Colin Jacobs was indeed in far better shape than he had been, and as eagerly as he was running and working out, he was improving by the day. It was incredible to see it happening, and it made Colin proud.

"So, Roy was telling me that he heard that you're still fucking Lindsey Hadler. Like, the two of you are getting together. That true?"

Colin Jacobs blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. He laughed awkwardly and shrugged. "Uh… yeah. I am. I mean, we are. Yeah. That's- yeah. That's true."

Roy laughed. "I knew it. It's always the quiet ones."

Colin was about to say something else, but Stephen Rose and Philip Pacino burst into the locker room then, shouting something about how one of them had just made a new personal best on the bench press, but all the guys said that the Borden twins needed to see it, so it didn't count until that happened.

"C'mon," Colin said, putting one arm around his protégé's shoulders, one around his brother's. Roy was taller and considerably stronger, but Colin Jacobs was surprisingly fit. What there was to him, these days, was pretty much all muscle. As Colin steered them to the door, Colin added, "It's gonna be a great four years, guys."

"I know," Colin Jacobs agreed. He lowered his voice. "Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

Stephen Rose ran back into the locker room and collided with Roy; it was like a bunch of string beans hitting a brick wall.

"Oof!" Stephen said from the floor. He got back up and made as if to fight Roy. "Okay, I'll get you for that! Come on!"

Roy pushed up both sleeves easily, baring his arms. "Okay."

"Noooo!" Stephen wailed. He bolted out of the room. "I can run away fast and that's it! I got no idea how to fight!"

It was Stephen Rose doing his routine again, and the guys loved it. Jason Perley and some of the other seniors also insisted that Philip do his "announcer voice" as often as possible. It got even funnier when someone found out that some office room with access to the gym PA system was unlocked; after that, when Philip wasn't actively working out, he was on the PA making hilarious fake announcements.

Colin and Roy stayed out on the floor, coaching the other freshmen boys, taking their open admiration and respect in stride. A place of honor was reserved for Colin Jacobs, who almost never left the twins' side. In particular, he never strayed far from Colin himself, always asking his hero for advice, ideas, comments and criticism. Colin gladly provided it, quietly thrilled to have this much status, prestige and power.

Distantly, he remembered that it hadn't always been that way. But from now on, this was how it was always going to be. Always. And pity the few who tried to get in the way.

June 6, 1982

Colin Jacobs stretched out on the deck of his father's yacht, the one he'd bought a year ago after Colin had started asking him about it, prodded, encouraged, and poked, literally at times, by the Borden twins. It had ben exasperating at times, but Colin had complied. He did anything the twins asked him to, anything they told him to, anything they suggested or recommended at all.

By this point, Colin knew no other way of doing things. The twins said he ought to always think and stand up for himself, so Colin followed them willingly, obeyed them of his own choice. It made perfect sense to him. What else did you do when the greatest athletes, the greatest students to grace Central High in its history offered you their wisdom? What else was the appropriate response when heroes spoke to you and told you what they thought was best?

And the yacht showed up, sure enough, after Frank Jacobs warmed to the idea. Dad wasn't such a bad guy once you got to know him. Things had gotten a lot better since last year- a whole lot better- between Colin and his Dad. Frank Jacobs was a big macho jerk and a blowhard, sure, but he was also making sure Colin Jacobs went to school every day wearing only the best name-brand clothes, finding excuses to pick him up or drop him off in that enormous white Cadillac, buying him gym memberships here, offering cool gifts there.

It all came from Colin Borden and his brother Roy, and the things that they had taught Colin, the way they had mentored him over the past year. Colin still read his books and liked some of the things he had before, but he was much busier with the Central High Cross Country team now, going to the gym, attending noisy parties organized by the upperclassmen, and helping Ben Markinson run that anti-bullying campaign. He also went to the horse tracks, having finally talked Dad into bringing him back, so he could learn more about how the guys there placed bets. Some of the guys wanted to organize betting on Central High's athletics, and it would help if an expert could advise them.

Plus, the tracks were a pretty cool place to be. So much money, so much cussing and drinking and smoking and swearing. The Borden twins loved it and Colin could see why, although it had taken him some time to adjust. He'd made a lot of adjustments thanks to them, and while Weezy Jacobs was still as neglectful as before, Frank was treating Colin better and no longer made him feel worried or uncomfortable. Colin was deeply grateful for the Borden twins' presence in his life. He had no idea what made them so interested in him, what had made them want to aid and mentor him from the moment they first saw him, but he gladly accepted their help. It was no overstatement to say it had changed Colin's life.

There was no better example than right now. Colin was sitting on a sunchair, as relaxed as you could be, wearing a brand-new pair of swimming trunks- bright Electric Blue, no less- with a can of Coors in his right hand. He could bench almost two hundred pounds, lifted weights and ran every day, and was sporting a terrific suntan. Dad kept insisting that this SportCuts place was the best, so Colin's haircuts were between $10 and $20 now, depending on what style and how much conditioner Colin wanted.

It was hard to believe that people liked Colin's looks as much as they did nowadays; some modeling company for teen boys' swimwear had stopped by and talked to a few of the guys at Central High back in May. They'd actually taken Colin's name! Naturally they'd asked the Borden twins, but everybody had assumed they would. Colin was still reeling from it; to be included, to be asked if he was interested right along with Colin and Roy Borden… it was wonderful. Perfect.

Speaking of perfect, Colin could see Colin and Roy Borden doing that thing again, posing together as they faced the sun and the waves from the boat's stern.

They were magnificent, the Borden twins. As Colin watched, wind ruffled their straw-blond hair, sunlight danced across their handsome, freckled faces, highlighted the gorgeous tan on their powerful, chiseled-from-stone torsos. They faced the sun and the sea as if daring both to challenge the twins, to roll the dice and take their chances against them.

Both Colin and Roy were born fighters. They were utterly defiant, utterly fearless. They bowed to no one, were scared of nothing, and approached every day with a boldness their peers tried but could never quite emulate. They were leaders because they always knew what they wanted, what any situation required. The Borden twins dared life itself to try its luck and always came out the winners.

Colin admired them both immensely. He wanted to be like them. It had grown first as a want, then a desperate wish, and now it was a hunger, a constant, never-ending desire to be more like Colin and Roy Borden. Colin had learned long ago to go along to get along, to never make waves or rock the boat. Colin had learned that resistance causes pain. But he had come a long way to un-learning those lessons from his past. He spoke up more, talked to new people more, tried and risked more.

The rewards could hardly be argued with. Colin was on his third girlfriend and already the guys were congratulating him for dating such a terrific piece of ass. She was dumb, a complete idiot… except when the clothes came off. Colin Borden hadn't been kidding when he said that Karen Smith was amazing. That wasn't even half the story.

Naturally, Dad was just thrilled when he had seen Colin arm-in-arm with her on the Boardwalk the other day. There were no more complaints, no more of Frank Jacobs' disapproving looks and comments. He was treating Colin better all the time, and that was fine with Colin. At least one of his parents actually paid attention to him now.

Stephen Rose was up on the helm with Philip Pacino; the two of them were minor celebrities around Santa Barbara now thanks to the way they'd begun broadcasting on radio and even television at local games, gaining popularity all the time. Their banter and play-by-play commentary was much sought-after by coaches and administrators, and the fact that they were both Cross Country runners, athletes themselves, only made athletics staff like them more. True to character, the two were bantering back and forth as they manned the helm. It sounded like the two lean boys are playfully bickering about whose muscles were bigger.

"Hey," a familiar voice said, "you awake, champ?"

Colin made sure to take a nice, long drink from his beer before looking up. He even burped, a surprisingly deep one for him. "Yeah, Dad. What is it?"

Frank Jacobs waved at the stern, up towards the helm. "Good job picking friends your first year in high school, sport. These guys are all right."

"I'm fuckin' delighted, Dad."

Dad laughed like that was the funniest thing in the world. He loved it when Colin used profanity, and the dirtier, the better. "Just make sure you're sober enough to walk when we dock, all right? Got a table reserved for us."

"Sure." Colin took another drink. "Sounds good to me."

"I'm gonna go belowdecks and take a piss."

"Well, don't stand here telling me about it."

Frank laughed again. "Not gonna tell your mother about any of this, right?"

"No, Dad. Same as usual."

"Good call, champ."

Champ. Jeez, Colin thought. I fuck Karen Smith and she says I'm a champ. She blows me and I tell her she's a champ. I drink a beer and cuss a little and Dad says I'M a champ. We don't need this many frigging champs around here.

Just after Dad went belowdecks, Colin caught something of what Colin and Roy Borden were talking about. It didn't quite make sense, though. Roy asked his brother, since "this is what you wished for," did he have any regrets? Colin Borden just laughed and told Roy to go fuck himself. Then the twins hugged fiercely. It was fascinating to watch, both because of how intensely the two boys clearly loved each other, and because of how all those hardened, powerful muscles rippled like water under their skin as they embraced.

Then Colin decided he'd drink some more of his beer, and he left the Borden twins to their conversation. Life was pretty good these days. Pretty damn good indeed.

A couple minutes later, Colin felt somebody playfully slap at his left shoulder. He turned and looked up from behind his new pair of designer prescription sunglasses and saw the smiling face of Colin Borden. Roy was close by, wielding a couple of beers.

"Hey, Colin."

"How's Karen?"

"Fucking her is amazing," Colin said honestly. "You shouldn't have broken up with her."

"Two girlfriends at once is too much when you're also playing for two teams."

"Sounds like you need to man up."

"I did," Colin Borden said, grinning. "That's why I'm with an 11th grader now." He cracked open the beer can that Roy handed him and took a seat on the deck chair to Colin's left. Roy sat down to Colin's right.

"Thanks for being friends with me," Colin said suddenly. "It's been amazing."

"Well, we're not going anywhere," Roy replied. "Maybe we could even go to college together, us and Philip and Stephen, too."

"That'd be awesome," Colin said enthusiastically.

"It would," Colin Borden agreed. "We got plenty of time to think about schools, though."

"You guys hear about that homeless guy?" Colin asked suddenly. "The one somebody cut up and lit on fire in that dumpster? That was just the other day, or something."

"Yeah, I heard about it," Colin Borden said with a laugh. "Some fucking psychos are on the loose out there, man."

"Fuckin psychos!" Roy exclaimed. "Yeah, I bet that smelled fucking awful!"

"I wonder who did that," Colin said. "You gotta be pretty sick to do that, you know?"

"Jeez, Colin, maybe they were just bored," Colin Borden said. "Maybe they had to do it or else they'd go crazy, you know what I mean?"

"What?" Colin asked, confused. "Who does that to blow off steam? Or for fun?"

"I dunno," Roy said, shrugging his heavily-muscled shoulders. "People do fuckin' crazy stuff all the time."

"Yeah, I know," Colin agreed. "But with you guys it's mostly fucking girls in classrooms. Not murdering homeless guys."

Colin and Roy laughed, and Colin grinned, secretly thrilled to have amused the Borden twins. You knew you were doing well in life if the Borden twins liked you. Every guy in the rising 10th grade class at Central High was always checking to see how good they were doing at imitating the twins. They were the gold standard of "cool" for the Class of 1984, and soon they would be for the new freshmen in the Class of 1985, too. And that was how it was supposed to be.

The three boys sat there in companionable silence for a while, looking out at the ocean. The sun wasn't setting, not yet, but it was hinting at it, slowly shifting from gold to amber. Colin glanced at himself and got a thrill as he saw his own arms, his own shoulders, his abs. He'd worked damn hard for this. The results were… perfect. Just perfect.

Colin had spent a lot of time early on wishing for the impossible. He'd wished he could walk into a doctor's office and just fix his deficiencies all at once. He'd daydreamed about adding muscle until his were just like Colin Borden's, changing his mousy brown hair into Roy's straw blond. He had wished most of all to fix these lousy eyes of his. Nothing would have been better than to come out of that office looking just like Colin and Roy Borden.

But… since last fall, Colin's view of himself had risen. He was more content with being himself than he'd ever imagined he would be. This was all right. He'd come a long way toward imitating his heroes, and with their help, Colin knew he could go farther. That was good enough, good enough and then some.

"Hey," Colin Borden said. "Colin."

"Yeah."

"You ever killed anything?"

"What?"

"Bugs, critters, animals, people, whatever. You ever killed anything?"

"No," Colin said, shaking his head. "Why?"

Colin had heard a lot of interesting things out of the twins in the past months, but this was odd in a whole new way. Colin didn't get it, and he looked at the boy he wanted to be like, the one he wanted to emulate more than anybody else in the world. He frowned, not sure if he understood.

Then Colin Borden took a drink from his beer, shrugged one mighty shoulder, and gave Colin a reassuring smile.

"Nothing, man," he said. "Don't worry about it. It was just a question."

A/N: 12-30-2019. Posted on 1-1-2020.

I actually completed Chapter 21 *before* Chapter 20! I'm not entirely sure why. I suppose I was just in the midst of thinking about the end of the story, I started working on the final segment of it, and went in and just wrote the whole thing. I kept in mind my plans for Chapter 20, however, so I made sure to include some connecting details and dialogue.

Just in case anyone is interested, some notes:

-No references to the 2019 film "Brightburn" were harmed in the writing of this chapter.

-The only POV changes from Colin (Jacobs, then Borden) are seen in Chapter 20 and Chapter 21, at the very end of the story.

-This story and everything to do with it was very much a joint effort. AM83220 and I thought up the what-if of Colin becoming Roy's twin, and he worked with and encouraged me all through the course of this story. If you liked this story, make sure to thank him. He didn't help me write it as directly as he has some of my works, but this story still would not have been written without him.

-I created the Word document for this story on 5-23-2015, going on five years ago. It took more than four years to plan, start, and finally write this story, and it ended up more than double the length of the original novel- about 200 pages, versus this one at over 500.

-"Central", presumably named "Central High School," is a public school in Santa Leona, California. Santa Leona, near as I can figure it, is essentially just a fictionalized Santa Barbara, as it is in about that same location and is the same approximate distance from Los Angeles.

-I originally intended to directly depict a final conversation between Colin Borden and Roy Borden which would include use of the story's title in one of Roy's lines of dialogue. I got to the end of Chapter 21, however, and realized I hadn't included it, and it would have been too much work to rework the chapter. So I cleverly found a way to include the key line I wanted to use; Colin and Roy instead have their last major conversation on the Change and its origins on Frank Jacobs' yacht while Colin Jacobs listens in just a bit. This solution worked out nicely and served just the purpose I needed it to.

-The force or power that allowed Colin Jacobs and Roy Borden to become twin brothers was exhausted after granting them their most sincere, most desperate wish. The house burned down as a result and thus it plays no further role, offering none of the benefits that Fleetwood Hall does to Henry and Mark Evans in my "The Good Sons" story.

-The 9th grade class starting in the fall of 1980 would have this progression through the years, provided they did not get held back at any point:

-1st grade: 1972-1973

-2nd grade: 1973-1974

-3rd grade: 1974-1975

-4th grade: 1975-1976

-5th grade: 1976-1977

-6th grade: 1977-1978

-7th grade: 1978-1979

-8th grade: 1979-1980

-9th grade: 1980-1981

-10th grade: 1981-1982

-11th grade: 1982-1983

-12th grade: 1983-1984

And then any of them that went straight into college/university would have attended approximately 1984 to 1988. They would all be turning 54 in 2020 assuming they lived to the present date, as the members of any high school Class of 1984 would largely have been born in 1966.

I may modify this last chapter to include additional thoughts or notes later on.

Thank you to any and all readers and reviewers.