Chapter 24: Deathseeker

Yuna's emotionally charged rush to her bed woke Paine. Sitting up with a yawn, she was about to question her friend's unusual behavior when she was surprised to see Tidus slowly ascending the top of the stairs, favoring a wounded leg. "You're back."

He acknowledged her greeting but went straight to Yuna.

Paine knew something wasn't right if Yuna was unhappy to see him. She hated to eavesdrop, but her instinct told her there was reason to be concerned. Rikku had followed him up the stairs, and Paine gave her a questioning look. But the small thief could only shrug in confusion.

Tidus was dripping wet, so he didn't sit on the bed. Instead, he crouched next to it. "Yuna, I'm so sorry. Shuyin was the only weapon I had against the guys that were holding me. He was the only way to come home to you."

"Shuyin?" Paine exchanged a frown with Rikku. Both of them moved closer with caution, trying to get a good look at him.

Yuna tried to stop crying, but she just couldn't accept this.

"Now you won't even look at me?" His voice caught in his throat with a heavy sadness. "Yuna, please don't send me away because of him. Please … don't ever send me away again." Too physically spent to know what else to say, he let his forehead rest on the pillow behind her and sniffled with a chill.

))((

His personality had switched so subtly she hadn't even noticed when it happened, but hearing the emotion behind those words, Yuna choked back her sobs to take another look at him. Cautiously, she touched his damp head and sifted a few strands of hair through her fingers. Was it the same cut? The same color? He lifted his head, his expression telling how badly he wanted to be believed, but his face was not quite the face that should have spoken those words. "I don't know who you are anymore," she confessed, trying to blink away tears that would further distort his image. "I hear Tidus, but I see Shuyin."

"Tidus has always been, and will always be, a part of me, Yuna. His name came from one of my nicknames," he lowered his gaze to the blanket. "It's… a stupid story. But it was a heck of a lot better than being called Jecht, Jr."

Realizing that Shuyin was speaking now, Yuna rolled over and presented her back to him.

"When you needed help sending my old man, the Fayth chose me. But they knew I was still upset over what happened to Lenne during the war, so they used only that part of my soul that wished for a second chance to do things differently. Tidus is the person I could have been under different circumstances. Tidus is the one who came to you, but he's an alternate me. I want him to have that second chance just as much as he does, Yuna. So when he asked for help finding a way back to you, I knew exactly how he felt, and -"

"You didn't have to take control of him. You knew something like this could happen!" she protested, refusing to face him. "We were going to look for him again if you'd just waited!"

"Waiting might have been too late. He was losing his mind being back on that boat, and they were going to send him back to the Via Infinito - unarmed. He could have been lost forever if he died down there. At least I brought him back alive. Although, neither of us is very patient, I guess." Shuyin sighed at his intrinsic flaws. "Look, I don't know why I can't leave his body, but he's fighting really hard to keep his own mind apart from me right now, believe me. He's locked me out, and he needs to stay locked away as much as possible until he's alone in the skin once more. Just… please don't give up on him because you can't bring yourself to see him in me."

Yuna squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to listen.

))((

Shuyin watched Yuna's back as she continued to cry. Then, helpless to ease her fears and resentment, he moved to sit on Tidus's futon. His leg was killing him, and he rubbed his hands over his cold face marveling at the sensation of feeling once more. From his peripheral vision, he could see that Rikku crept near, so with a resigned sigh, he turned to let her have a good look.

Rikku scrutinized him with uncertainty but then registered soft surprise. "Ohhhhh. You really are Shuyin. And you're alive this time."

"Not really. This body is an illusion, almost like the one I draw from the pyreflies. But it's stronger - strong enough to feel alive again. Tidus can feel pain, get cold, bleed, feel hungry... I didn't think about any of that when I offered to help him escape." He held his hands out before him, marveling at how real they looked. They were his own hands this time, instead of some stranger's.

"Is... Tidus still alive?"

"Yes. Two minds in one body, but he let me have control so I could be his weapon while he concentrated on protecting his own identity. Only I can't leave for some reason." Shuyin felt Tidus's heart constricting within him at the thought. "I can't return to Lenne this way - not without destroying the illusion by jumping back into the Farplane." He supposed the Fayth could always summon Tidus back, but what if they couldn't?

"What of Meimo and Kyudou?" Paine asked, standing nearby.

"They've probably either drowned or destroyed each other. That was the plan, anyway."

Rikku slipped toward Yuna's dresser and removed the blitzball sphere taken from the sunken stadium. She tapped Shuyin's arm to get his attention again and offered it to him. "We found this near the Abes locker room. Is it you or him?"

Shuyin was hesitant to accept the sphere but touched the activation button and watched as it played the opening ceremony of the game again. "It's both of us," he said after a moment.

"But it looks like Tidus. That's his uniform."

Shuyin's brow dipped in mild annoyance. "What is it with him claiming my uniforms? But I had more than one, you know." He realized that wasn't the answer Rikku wanted. "Look, it's okay if you don't get this. I know it's confusing and weird." He indicated the blitzball game playing. "But this tournament happened before he was separated to become his own little… whatever he is. So, in a sense, yeah, that's him. He was there and played in the tournament because I was there and played in the tournament. He remembers this game exactly the same way I do. Well, except for how it ended." Shuyin turned off the sphere and passed it back to her. "The Fayth tried to make him look slightly different, like a twin, so they could tell us apart. They altered his background a bit to prevent him from making the same mistakes I did because it was the only way they could use him to defeat Sin. But before the Fayth got hold of him, he was me."

"How do you know he remembers a different ending to the game? You said he was locked away." Rikku was confused.

"He told me."

Rikku's brows rose in awe. "He talks to you?"

"You know how people sometimes hear a little voice in their head? Well, he's quiet, but I can really hear his voice."

"Can he hear us talking about him?"

Shuyin blinked at her for a moment. The answer should have been obvious after everything he just tried to explain. "He hears everything I do. He's me; I'm him."

"Hi, Tidus!" Rikku yelled into his ear and waved. "Come back soon! We love and miss you!"

Shuyin winced and pushed her an arm's length away. "He's quiet - not deaf."

"Oh, right."

"How did you survive Bevelle's attack after the stadium collapsed?" Paine sat down on the floor and drew her knees to her chin.

Shuyin gave a somber shrug. "Luck, I guess. I was above the sphere pool when it was hit by the bombs, and then I fell back into the water as the whole stadium collapsed and sank into the ocean." He glanced cautiously at Rikku, wary of her blasting his ear again. "I went looking for Lenne, and we helped as many survivors escape as we could, but... most of them didn't make it. It was chaos because the explosions took down the entire network of floating bridges and piers. Zanarkand was utterly destroyed. But in the dream, Tidus got sucked into Sin and was brought here instead. He didn't have to relive the aftermath of the attack… or the war."

"So, Tidus came here to save Spira, but you went to Bevelle to destroy it?" Paine quipped.

Shuyin didn't find much humor in her observation of his paradoxical nature. "I went to Bevelle to save Lenne. Had Tidus been allowed to live through what happened after the attack, I know he would have done the same thing. I know because he feels the same way about Yuna. If she was in trouble, he'd do whatever it takes to save her."

Rikku looked at Yuna, lying still and silent on her bed with her back to them. "You know, somebody should take a look at that leg and heal it," she hinted.

Paine could see Yuna's face from where she sat, and she could tell she was in no mood to interact with Shuyin at all, not even for this. "You'd better go ahead and do it," she quietly advised Rikku.

"Me?" the small thief protested.

"You healed Baralai." Paine tilted her head. "Or did that have nothing to do with his wounds?"

Rikku frowned at the warrior's insinuation. "Baralai didn't have to take off his pants."

Shuyin frowned in puzzlement. "Excuse me?"

"Just cut the fabric."

"Wakka would kill me for destroying an Auroch's uniform."

"They're already ruined, Rikku. Look at them. Big hole in the thigh, blood, seaweed crud... That's not going in the laundry. Not on my wash day."

"Oh, fine." Rikku put down the sphere and dug a small pair of scissors out of her drawer. "Hold still so I don't accidentally cut you," she ordered, giving Shuyin a small push to move him out of her light. "I am never going to hear the end of that about Baralai, am I?"

"Probably not," Paine answered.

Shuyin glanced cautiously between the two young women who argued and the one between them that was completely unresponsive. Rikku crouched to snip the fabric away from the thigh wound, but when she got too close to where it was tender, he jerked his leg away and raised an arm to block her.

She gave smack of reprimand to his arm. "Stop moving."

"Don't smack me," he protested.

"I always smack you when you don't hold still."

"You do? How does he live with the three of you like this?"

Rikku straightened and placed her hands on her hips. "What's that supposed to mean? What did he say about me?"

Shuyin sensed Tidus warning him to shut up quickly, or he'd probably regret it. Shuyin opened his mouth, but then promptly closed it again.

"Hold still," Rikku ordered again, pushing his knee back down and cutting the tough fabric around the wound until it was exposed. Then, she placed a hand over the gash left by the ice shard and used her fingers to press the wound together as she wove white magic around it.

"That hurts," he grumbled.

"Hush! I'm concentrating," she warned without looking up.

Shuyin groaned in defeat and fell back on the futon. For lack of something better to do, he picked up the garment grid Tidus had left there before his game in Luca. Tidus immediately gave him the knowledge he needed regarding the use and purpose of the item. Shuyin studied the armor spheres to see what kinds of weapons they held, then watched as Rikku finished drawing both sides of the cut together into one long scar. His eyes narrowed slightly, and his head tilted with interest concerning this fresh scar. "Is Baralai here among you?"

"He's in Bevelle." Paine stretched, set an elbow on the edge of the bed behind Yuna's back, and rested her chin on a fist. "Nooj is here, though… camping with the Youth League. Just don't expect him to give you a warm welcome if you've got your heart set on a reunion. In fact, if I were you, I'd hide until you have this little problem solved."

"Nooj… Nooj would definitely be willing to do something like that," Shuyin muttered to himself.

"Do what?" Paine asked, wary of anything Shuyin was planning.

He sat up as Rikku stepped back to admire her handiwork. "Do you happen to have any phoenix down?" he asked.

"Sure. Why?"

Shuyin stood and walked around to the other side of Yuna's bed, crouching eye-level, facing her. "There may be another way to separate us. Please have some phoenix down immediately on hand." Then, he jogged down the stairs, leaving the cabin.

))((

Yuna lifted her head from her pillow and looked to Paine and Rikku with alarm. "But phoenix down is only used for…" Jumping off of the bed, she raced down the stairs after him. "Shuyin! Shuyin, no!"

Because of Yuna's reaction, Rikku was worried. "One other way?"

Paine was already on her feet and headed down the stairs. "He's going to try to die again!" she called back, jumping the last stairs at the bottom before running after Yuna and Shuyin.

"What? No! Wait! I just healed him! And he didn't even thank me!" Rikku put down the scissors and ran to catch up.

))((

Shuyin jogged out of the airship and scanned the Youth League tents. "Nooj! Meyvn Nooj! You want retribution? Now's your chance!" He jogged between the tents. "Get your ass out here and fight me! Man-to-man this time!"

A few minutes later, the leader of the Youth League crawled out of his tent to see who was bellowing his name this early in the morning. "Tidus?"

Shuyin turned in the direction of the meyvn's voice. "Fight me. Take your best shot. You've been dying for this opportunity."

Nooj's expression darkened, knowing there could only be one explanation. "Shuyin…" The spirit who once possessed him had somehow come back to life through Tidus. "So, you finally surfaced and claimed him."

"Nope. He summoned me. Can you believe that?" Shuyin approached his previous victim. "The little idiot needed help getting away from some thieves, so he decided I was a risk worth taking."

Nooj's brows furrowed as he took a step back. "Did you find Spira's sphere?"

"No, but I set Meimo and Kyudou onto each other like a pair of rabid lupines for thinking they could order me around like some kind of henchman."

"Considering you used the same tactics on me and my friends, don't expect me to congratulate you."

"That's gratitude for ya. I was trying to be helpful this time."

"Shuyin! Stop!" Yuna ran to him and clutched his shirt. "Don't do this," she begged. "Don't kill Tidus. Please, don't kill him!"

"Yuna…" Shuyin apologetically removed himself from her grasp. "This was his idea. He knows it's necessary. Tidus's body isn't like other bodies. He's made of spirit magic. But… so am I, now. Like that hole in my leg Rikku mended, we fused back together. I have to cut myself loose. I have to weaken the physical bond his body holds over me, but I won't let him die. I promise. Have some phoenix down ready, … just in case. Trust him, if you can't trust me."

Yuna broke into sobs again. Paine gave Shuyin a wary glare but put an arm around her friend to coax her away, to let him do what must be done to put things right again.

Shuyin gave the warrior a nod of gratitude for her assistance. Then, he approached Nooj once more. "I need you to fight me, so she can have him back. So I can return to Lenne and rest."

"I don't fight unarmed, unarmored men." Nooj frowned severely at him and turned away to enter his tent.

Shuyin switched the garment grid to guardian mode and drew Brotherhood from his sheath. Slipping the sword under Nooj's chest, he barred him from entering his tent and switched off the grid, tossing it to the side where Yuna, Paine, and Rikku stood. "Meet you half-way. I'm armed now."

As the sun rose over the horizon bringing broad daylight, Youth League members were roused from their sleep by the noise. They came out, drawing their weapons, ready to protect their leader from the hostile fiend.

"No, don't shoot!" Paine cried out and ran to Shuyin once more, stretching her arms wide, using her body to shield him. "He's got to do this his way, or we could lose Tidus!"

The volunteers were skeptical but lowered their weapons. The Gullwings crew, also hearing the commotion, came outside to see what was going on. The small crowd that gathered around Shuyin and Nooj stood confused, cautious, and on edge.

"Thank you," Shuyin told Paine, surprised that she, of all people, would intervene on his behalf. No, it wasn't his behalf. Tidus had real friends here and a real life, whether his body was real or not. Shuyin had to find a way to give it back because, to him, nothing compared to the pain of separation from a loved one.

Paine looked to Nooj in apology, but then turned away from his accusing glare to rejoin Rikku and Yuna on the side of the gathering. She was a traitor in his eyes now.

Shuyin leveled a penetrating stare at the Deathseeker. "Nooj, you're the only one here who's not afraid to fight me. If you don't come after me, then I'm coming after you."

"No matter how much I despise you, I'm not an executioner." Nooj knocked the sword aside from his chest and walked away.

"You nearly were. Remember?" Shuyin shaped his hand like a gun and fired a silent "bang" toward Paine. "I could do it again, you know. I could make you turn on everyone here."

The gesture was too much for Nooj to bear. He swerved, and his machina hand crunched into Shuyin's jaw with enough force to knock him back a step.

With a grimace, Shuyin touched the throbbing side of his face. "You owe me big for this, little brother," he muttered to himself before his attention returned to the meyven. "You're gonna have to do better than that, Nooj. Finish me off, or I'll make someone else do it. Which one of your friends should I influence next? You might remember that I can't really control anyone under the influence of dark magic. Because when pain and confusion grip the mind so hard that you can't tell friend from foe-"

Nooj grabbed Shuyin and punched him again, this time knocking him to the ground. Heart racing with hatred and frustration over what he had suffered previously at Shuyin's hands, he limped forward and stood over his tormentor. "I don't want to risk killing Tidus. For Lady Yuna's sake. But I'm not letting you harm anyone else! After everything you've done, you don't even deserve to be sent back to the Farplane! You're the one that should be in the Via Infinito instead of Spira!"

Shuyin wiped the blood from his jaw and nose. He grew quiet, measuring what he knew about Nooj's strengths and weaknesses from having possessed him for two whole years. Then, casting Brotherhood aside, he scrambled toward Nooj, pushing him to the ground.

Anxious on-lookers watched with thin restraint at Paine's urging while the two young men grappled, rolling in the dirt and rocks, each taking punishing hits from the other. As they began to wear each other down, Shuyin lost patience and cast his dark magic.

Nooj yelled in anguish as the intensity of his former madness returned. Tearing away from Shuyin's grip, he reached for his gun and fired multiple times, as if each bullet had a name attached to it for the lives Shuyin tried, but failed, to destroy while using him.

Pain seared through Shuyin's chest, shoulder, and abdomen. Breathing was suddenly difficult, and a cold sweat enveloped him, making him feel like he was going to pass out. Dropping to his knees, Shuyin steadied himself and withdrew his dark magic from Nooj's mind. A proud but morose chuckle turned into a labored cough. "Told you... I could make you... do it again."

Wide-eyed and shaken, Nooj dropped his gun and fell back against a rock to catch his breath.

))((

Yuna ran to Shuyin and knelt beside him, cradling him into her arms. He turned his head to look into her eyes. "Do you... have the phoenix down?" He was losing his struggle to breathe. "Once I release him... it will be up to you."

"I have a spell," she sniffled, trying not to cry.

Shuyin nodded and closed his eyes. The illusionary body was dying, so while it struggled to maintain life, he stood and walked away as an unsent apparition.

Yuna let Tidus recline on the ground and drew his shirt away from his torso. Catching her breath and working through blurred vision, she set her hands over the life-threatening wounds and whispered white magic. Clusters of light surrounded her, drawing energy from her and transforming it to mend the wounds. The intense spell lingered as it worked to repair all of the damage. And when it faded, she held her breath, waiting to see if it had been enough. Tidus's eyes opened half-way to acknowledge her nearness, and he reached a hand to her cheek. With a cry of relief, Yuna hugged his neck, tears freely flowing. This time had been too close for comfort.

"I think I need your help returning this time," Shuyin spoke to Yuna. "It was too close to being real again for me, so he probably shouldn't be here for the sending."

"I'll wait for you inside," Tidus whispered to Yuna as he sat upright.

"Mh," Yuna sadly agreed, giving him a kiss and a hug that she was reluctant to release.

With her help, Tidus stood and faced Shuyin. Glancing down at himself, alone in his body once more, he noticed how dirty and bloodstained he was, but he didn't quite know what to say. "Thanks," he weakly offered. "And... sorry about the shirt."

Shuyin returned a faint smile. "You know what? I've changed my mind. It's all yours."

Amused at that response, Tidus looked toward Nooj. The meyvn was still reliving something harrowing that words couldn't begin to justify, so Tidus simply bowed in apologetic gratitude for his role in setting him free.

"Rikku." Yuna sniffled. "Please go with Tidus and keep a bottle of phoenix down nearby in case he starts to fade."

Rikku nodded, waved to Shuyin, and then allowed Tidus to use her shoulder for support. "Welcome back for real this time," she told him.

He answered with a tired smile as they walked toward the airship.

Yuna waited until they were out of sight with Tidus safe inside. Then, she stood and spoke to Shuyin. "I'm... I'm sorry about the things I said earlier. Thank you for helping him find his way back. And, please, tell Lenne that I'm sorry I didn't understand." She wanted to apologize for feeling jealous, too, but that would mean admitting to it.

Shuyin smiled and nodded that he would.

With hesitation, Yuna summoned her Nirvana staff. Now that she wasn't angry at Shuyin, she could still see Tidus in him. She was even sad to have to send him again, but she slowly began her dance. Shuyin faded until Yuna was left in the center of a sparkling mist of pyreflies.

The Youth League members returned to their tents, but they would be discussing what happened for days or weeks afterward. Paine helped Nooj toward his tent and offered to bring him food or drink, anything that might make him feel like himself again. He only wanted a good, stiff drink and to be left alone.

The rest of the Gullwings watched Yuna with concern but knew to leave her with her thoughts for now. After the Gullwings returned to the airship, Yuna panned the ethereal Zanarkand ruins and drew a calming breath. Heading inside, she went straight to Tidus's futon and found him sleeping off his fatigue.

"Sssh," Rikku whispered, putting a finger to her lips. "He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. Want me to bring you something from the kitchen?"

"No, thank you."

With a smile, Rikku tip-toed down the stairs to join everyone congregating at the bar for breakfast.

Yuna lay down beside Tidus on the futon and noted every detail of his face as he slept, to be sure it was really him. Then, taking his hand in hers, she kissed his cheek and was content to let him rest before answering everyone's questions about what happened while he was away.