Lao said: "I sense a change in you Azula, even greater than usual. The exercise must have suited you. Do you wish to talk about it?"
"It did, and I do." she responded, brush in hand. "There are things however that I don't understand and I need to understand them, now!"
Lao signaled to her to put down the brush and the scroll, those things however pleasant had time. He sensed by her tone that her questions could truly no longer wait and he prepared himself for it inwardly. He said: "Why don't we start with the simplest one, that's usually a good strategy?"
Azula closed her eyes and breathed in for a moment: "The name Avida, why did you choose it for me?"
"Because I wanted to teach you something important through it and that is, just because you don't know it doesn't mean you're defective. We all suffer from ignorance of our true nature and the other two poisons of anger and greed. But even those three hindrances can be turned to useful tools towards liberation and none of those things mean that we are undeserving of compassion and love."
Azula again listened carefully, observing Lao's movement and reaction as he spoke. The words compelled her to ask more.
"So are there things that do make one undeserving of compassion and love?" Everything now hanged on Lao's answer.
"In the eyes of men there are countless, in the eyes of the Mother there are none. Even if you sinned against her directly she would still pray for you and find it in her heart to forgive. For she knows that every sin ultimately hurts the sinner. She's happy when we are happy and she's hurt when we are hurt. She took it upon herself to bear the suffering of the world and guide us to a way out. Even the spirits of war admired her for that courage."
Azula couldn't help but admire her too now. As the promise says, her way is unsurpassable, what courage it must take to walk it to the end? She always considered herself brave, fearless even but faced with this challenge... she had to ask more. She was starting to sense for herself this great love and its power but she had to know where it came from.
"This power that you speak of, how did she achieve it?"
"It was most likely the result of effort and dedication over many different lifetimes, accumulated knowledge and experience. What happened in the moment of her enlightenment is very hard to describe but I'm confident you will achieve it for yourself too. I understand your doubts, I did not quite believe my parents when they explained it to me either but they urged me to have faith, and I urge you to have this faith too. You will see it."
She swore to herself not to be surprised by Lao any more yet here he was, speaking with full confidence in his voice of her achieving a power that seemed beyond human. She felt she could no longer live in doubt about this man so she asked:
"Why are you so confident that you can fix me? The doctors and nurses at the asylum tried and declared me hopeless. What's your secret?"
Lao's eyes saddened but he went on to speak in a tone both caring and completely serious: "Because I'm not trying to fix you. You are not broken. I'm merely watering the seed that's already within you. I'm helping you live out what you've always been capable of but might not have known, to love and be loved."
Maitri, Jhana, Mudita, Shen, they all came to Azula's mind: "They love Avida, not Azula."
"They might not know your true name but they are starting to sense the true you. At the moment, I don't want the reputation of your old life to obscure and hinder your new one. One day they will be ready to find out and on that day they will neither see the princess nor the madwoman but only their friend."
"I want to accept your words Lao, I want to believe in all of this but I have to know whether you know who I truly am and what I've done. I tortured my prisoners, I've hurt and tormented my brother all my life, I've tried killing him numerous times. I have shot fire at my uncle and later imprisoned him. I almost killed my closest friends because they chose my brother over me. I even plotted the complete destruction of the Earth Kingdom and I did it all without hesitation, at times coldly, at times with relish. I also..."
Lao listened carefully as Azula confessed, his expression unreadable. As she was speaking she noticed and when she was done she said in a taunting tone:
"What is it master? Are you shocked? Are you sad your hero is actually a villain?"
"You're human Azula, that's what you are to me, and that's truly what you are at the core. What you told me is a sad and disturbing story indeed but I tell you this. Nothing you say or reveal will shake my conviction that you deserve happiness not hell nor make me renegade on my promise to help you. I cannot however absolve you, only the people you've hurt have the right to forgive you. What I can do is show you a path away from hurting and being hurt."
Azula's eyes were teary, there truly was someone in this world who accepted her, who genuinely offered her care and love despite her being a monster. She spoke:
"If my brother or the Avatar ever find me here I'm going to jail for the rest of my life and you might suffer too because you hid me."
"I'll take that risk. There is indeed justice in punishment but like I told you when we first met, I don't believe anyone has to suffer forever, not even you. Besides, if we speak of villainy I'm not whitewashed either. I killed countless people on the battlefield. I still hear their cries and see their agonized faces as they burned. As a commander I ordered the death of prisoners and deserters, raided villages. Many nights I saw grieving families and wondered whether the destiny I swore to save others from wasn't in fact mine. Yet I still fought on and on and never really considered quitting for only victory could have ended that suffering. You might now understand too why I don't want to fight again if possible. No matter how unjust this peace might be it's still peace, a chance to rebuild, to leave something good. Help me in this, be my legacy."
Azula nodded: "I will."
She picked up the brush again and went to work, happy in the knowledge that her life would have the meaning and fulfillment she believed lost.