Ai Hod Yu In
Chapter 26
Clarke wished she had her mom as she returned to the camp where Lexa and Madi were. Here she was, doing her best to end a war before it began. No, she supposed, that wasn't true. She was trying to end a war that had had brief ceasefires, but had begun when they first landed on the ground a little over one year ago. She'd often wondered how differently things would be if they hadn't had to come to the ground at all, if they'd instead been able to patch things up up there. Her father likely would still be alive, but Madi would have likely become a novitiate. She was not stupid enough to think that it was only her presence that had drawn attention to the little ones family.
As she came closer to the tent, she nodded at the guard. The man in front of her entered first, mumbling something to Lexa before he moved aside to allow her to enter. She went through, scanning the room quickly for her child. The baby lay on a blanket on the ground, and Clarke quickly pulled her up into her arms, kissing her forehead.
"I've missed you, baby," she whispered in her daughter's hair, a smile curling her lips before she remembered what her goal was. She gently replaced the child and turned instead to Lexa. She thought at first that Lexa would be the first one to speak, but to her surprise it was instead Indra.
"Where's Octavia?" the injured Trikru warrior asked from her place sitting against a wall. Clarke looked at the woman now, noticing that she had already regained some of her strength.
"She's watching over camp," Clarke replied, knowing that she sounded short as she said it. She wished she could be done with her responsibility to her people now more than ever, but it seemed the responsibility was indeed endless.
"So, tell us, Clarke. How does this end? Have you come up with a way to save your people, yet again?" Lexa paced a bit as she asked those questions.
"No." Clarke admitted, looking down, "Only you can do that. What happened here was an act of war. Your army was here to help us and my people slaughtered them. You have every right to respond. Every right to wipe us out. Or, you can change the way you do things."
"Why should she change?" Indra questioned her. Clarke knew she shouldn't expect Lexa to change, that Lexa had every right to retaliate. She just had to hope that the bond and trust they had between them would allow Lexa to give a new way a chance, "Blood must have blood."
"Really? Because from where I stand, the only way that ends is with everyone dead. So, what kind of leader do you want to be? The kind who kills every chance she gets because that's you way, or the kind who shows the world a better way?" Clarke tried.
"You consider letting a massacre go unavenged a better way?" Lexa asked her in response.
"If it ends this cycle of violence? Yes. If it brings about peace? Yes. Someone has to take the first step. Let it be you." Lexa turned to the side, beginning to walk away slowly, "You say you want peace. That everything you've done was to achieve that. Yet, here we stand, on the brink of another war. A war you could stop."
"Commander, you can't seriously be considering this," Indra demanded.
"I'm not considering it," Lexa said, and Clarke felt her face drop a bit. She mentally calculated how long it would take to grab Madi and run, and she didn't like her odds of escape. Luckily, Lexa was not yet finished, "I'm doing it."
"Heda, please-"
"Indra. Our people act as if war is easier than peace. If that's so, should we not try and achieve the more difficult goal?" Lexa commented.
"Polis will not support you. Titus-"
"Titus is my subject. They're all my subjects." Lexa yelled, lowering her voice after a moment and ignoring the startled Madi, who was now beginning to cry. Clarke rushed back to the baby and picked her up, rocking and humming to her, "Do you say they will defy me? Will you defy me?"
"No, Heda. I will not."
"Then let it be known… Blood must not have blood."
Clarke nodded at her, smiling in support at the woman who had chosen to be better than their ancestors. She could only hope that this would work, that they could truly bring about peace.