It was good to be back at the bakery. As much as he had enjoyed the holiday and as much as he was thankful for a bit of rest, Remus couldn't deny that he was relieved to be back at the bakery. Early mornings and flour everywhere. Everyone coming back together. Kingsley and his danishes. All the regulars. New people coming in everyday. Really, it wasn't that many people. They weren't that well known, but it was more than enough. And it was nice, and comforting. It felt normal again.

He'd been speaking to Sirius everyday, and seeing him almost as often. It wasn't unusual for Remus to finally turn around from his bench to see Sirius leaning against the wall, on his phone, waiting. Or sometimes just watching. Apparently it was interesting, though Remus couldn't imagine that watching him do anything was particularly interesting. There were some people that sure, were beautiful creating pastry, but Remus certainly didn't think he was one of them. But it wasn't like he was going to force Sirius out, on the contrary, he rather liked having the company, when he knew he had it.

The bakery had been open again for two weeks now, they were halfway through January and it felt good. Of course, there were days when nothing felt good. The days when he'd had to rely on his routine and habits so much that it was scary. The days when he'd had to tell James just how much pain he was in, that it felt like his entire body was on fire. The days when he'd flinched as Sirius reached out to touch him. But that was maybe four days in two weeks, and that was alright. It was really, really alright. Maybe it was the hope that came with the New Year, but Remus found himself more hopeful than he'd been for awhile. It was tempting to shut it down, it was so tempting. But every time, he couldn't help but hear Lily's voice in his head.

—

"Afternoon," Sirius said flatly, coming to stand next to Remus.

"Don't you dare knock me, if I mess up these tarts I will stab you." Remus grinned, but didn't look up. "Also, what happened?"
"I'll just step back then, shall I?"
"Unless you want to be stabbed. But please, tell me what's up."
"Nothing much," Sirius replied.

Remus looked up at that, he couldn't resist. And there was Sirius in all his splendour, leather jacket and what looked like a rainbow top underneath that. Hair tied back and messy. But despite his unfair attractiveness, something seemed off. "You're lying Sir Black. Hold on two minutes and I'll shower you with affection," shit, he shouldn't have said that, "But until then, tell me what's going on."

There was silence for a few minutes. It was brimming with emotion, and Remus knew better than to talk at times like this. They'd not known each other for a spectacularly long time, but clearly they both jumped into friendships far too intensely. So Remus worked in the silence, assembling his tarts, and hoping Sirius would talk sooner rather than later.

It happened as Remus was putting the tarts on a tray, ready for Dorcas to bring them out to the front cabinet. Sirius interrupted the silence, voice hesitant, almost as if he was apologising.

"Remus?"
"Sirius?" Remus replied, turning to look at Sirius, eyes soft and his tone gentle.

"I think," he paused, tilting his head to the sky, as if he was praying. Though Remus knew for a fact that Sirius wasn't religious. "Nevermind."
"Oh no, no, Siri. You can't start and finish like that, nghariad," Remus protested, stepping toward Sirius. Close enough that if Sirius did want physical comfort, he was there.

"Comment vous sentiriez-vous si je vous embrassais bien?"

"Annwyl, I can tell you without a doubt, I don't know any more French than I have the entire time I've known you. Though perhaps I should learn."
"Well, I know more Welsh, so you're behind," Sirius replied, sounding as if it were a struggle to actually voice anything.

"This just won't do. Talk to me. In English. What's going on?"
Sirius stepped closer, and now they were only a few paces apart. They'd been much closer, of course, but right now, everything was charged with Sirius' emotions, with Remus' confusion. Everything was just a little off.

"Afternoon lads!"

Both Sirius and Remus snapped around to the door as James walked in. The grin sliding off James' face when he saw both boys' expressions. Awkward silence reigned for about six seconds before James walked further in, put an apron on and declared, "I'm very sorry that I interrupted whatever I did, and if you'd like me to leave I can, but until you ask, I'm going to return to baking. Dorcas is coming in a minute, to grab those tarts."
"You don't have to leave, I'll just be going. Good to see you, mate," Sirius replied, half smiling for a second, before shrugging at Remus. "I guess I'll see you soon?"
"You don't need to leave Sirius. We close in an hour and a half anyway," Remus paused, wondering when it had got to that point that Sirius didn't mind hanging around a bakery for over an hour, "We can talk then?"
"Nah, I'll be fine. Text you later? I'll come round tomorrow. You'll be here, I assume?"

"Always am," Remus bit his lip ring, wanting to insist that Sirius stay. He didn't know what was going on, and while, they didn't tell each other everything they'd both been fairly open with each other about the vast majority of things.

"You're always welcome," Remus offered. He didn't quite know where he was telling Sirius he was always welcome, but in a sense, that meant more anyway. Sirius was welcome anywhere that Remus felt at home. His apartment, the bakery, James' parents'.

Sirius grinned at that, "yeah, alright. See you."
"Bye."

Sirius stepped out of the kitchen quietly, nodding once more to James before walking away.

"What was that?" James asked, as soon as the door had closed.

"What was what?"
"That!"

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean."
"The whole thing with Sirius. What's going on with the both of you, anyway? Something seems different."
"Different? Different from what?"
"From normal friendships, I guess."
"Well it's not like you and I are exactly normal are we?" Remus was deflecting desperately now. Lily had probably told James about his... feelings for Sirius, but hopefully they could avoid that topic. He was very focused on making pie now. Pie seemed to be popular in the late afternoons, he'd never really known why, but today there was an order for three. Apparently they'd come pick them up at ten to four.

"We're normal-er than you and Sirius, that's for sure."

"Come on, mate. Really?"
"Really. You're my best friend, Moony. I actually do care about you."

"God, James," Remus had to laugh at that. There was no one who Remus knew cared about him more. Of course, there was his amazing group of friends, but James, James would always be there, Remus knew. "I know that. And I care for you too. I just, I don't really know what to do with Sirius," he admitted.

"So I'm right?"
"As much as I hate to give in to you, yes, you're right."
"Brilliant!" James exclaimed. "So, what do you mean you don't know what to do with Sirius?"
"I'm pretty sure this conversation is very unprofessional."
"Bonuses of having our own bakery," James replied, grinning.

"Oh fine."
"Go on then."
"I think I might like Sirius in a much more romantic way than a platonic one," Remus admitted in a very low voice, turning away from James.

The only response that came from James was a loud choking sound.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh Moony."
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing. Just keep talking," James answered, and Remus could feel his smile.

"I mean, that's really all there is to it, Prongs. I'm certainly not going to tell him." Remus gave a halfhearted shrug, carefully placing the pastry on top of the pies.

"You should talk to him," James insisted, "You'll feel better."
"Not if I lose him. He's been a really good friend. I mean, you know that, you've kept inviting him to our Friday nights."

"I know that Rem, I really do. But I think you've still got to tell him about it."

Remus paused his pie-making at that, stopping to take a sharp breath in. This wasn't going to end well. And it was only not going to end well, because James was right. Of course James was right. "I don't know. Let's just keep baking."

"We're both good enough at this that we can do both."
"Suddenly, I'm struggling to remember how to make a pie."
"Idiot."

—

Needless to say, Remus didn't end up talking to James, but he did end up on his couch, reading a book, doing his best to ignore the significant amount of pain coursing through his body. Ah, the joys of fibromyalgia and it's surprises. But it was a good book, and he was good at ignoring things. So there was that at the very least. Slowly though, it seemed that he would be adding more and more things to his pile of "to be ignored". But that was okay, as long as he could work at the bakery, carry a conversation, and make tea, he'd be fine. That was almost everything he did, anyway.

Thoughts eventually began to distract him from his book, and at the same time from his pain, so he was mildly okay with it. He found himself thinking that maybe, maybe he could confess his romantic affections to Sirius over the phone, and then apologise tomorrow saying he was under the influence of alcohol? Maybe that could work. But really, Sirius wasn't an idiot, and he wasn't that good at pretending to be drunk. Or at least, he didn't think he would be. He'd pretended to be a lot of things — a girl, studying, innocent, sporty, straight — but not drunk. And trying things for the first time while confessing love probably wasn't the best idea.

Unfortunate really, the extents he'd have to go to if he was to take James' advice and talk to Sirius. It'd either have to be under some pretence, or he'd have to do it properly. That was almost the more frightening of the two options.

Thoughts were interrupted by the sharp ring of his phone, Remus quite literally jumped. It would be Sirius, most likely. He'd never met someone who would ring so often, so unexpectedly. Though, he supposed it wasn't really unexpected anymore. Wondering what Sirius could be ringing for, he picked up the phone.

"Hey," Remus said, smiling a little, even as he wished for better timing.

"I think we should date."

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure you heard me, and I'd really like to never have to repeat that sentence again. Especially if you're going to laugh. I'll just be goin—"

"No!"

"No?"
"Don't, uh, you don't need to go."

"Really?"
"Yeah, it's all a joke, isn't it?" Swearing at himself under his breath, Remus had seldom wished he'd said anything less.

"Oh."

"Isn't it?"

"Sure."

And then there was nothing. "Sirius?" Remus asked, but the other boy was already gone. Why had he been so stupid? He wasn't entirely sure. He actually wasn't sure at all. Why would he not just give Sirius a chance? It's not like he thought Sirius was the type of person to joke like that, but then again, surely Sirius wasn't being serious? Surely not? But something clearly happened, because he hung up on a sure, and that was never good. Did he call back? Did he leave it? What was the best option from here?

Half of him thought that he could just call Sirius and say "come over, let's talk about this". Half of him thought that he should just let it be, he'd stuffed it up as it was, he didn't need to mess it up anymore than he already had.

But here he was, hand poised to press Sirius' name, and he already knew which decision he was going to make even if he wasn't sure it was the right one. It would always be Sirius. It would always be like that morning in the bakery, when he said he could stay, it would always be like in the tree, when he said he could come, it would always be like on the train, explaining things gently. It was too easy to say yes, not to. Why would he refuse what felt so right?

So there he stood, waiting for Sirius to pick up his phone, waiting and hoping, hoping they could sort things out.

"I'm sorry." They both blurted out at the same time.

"Sirius, were you joking?"
"No, I wasn't."
"Really?"
"Really."

It was horribly blunt, and not at all how he'd hoped this would all go. He'd half wished for something much more like all the books he read, but it wasn't. It was a mistake followed by an apology followed by relief. It wasn't beautiful, it wasn't even slightly pretty, he was shaking with relief. He didn't know why, but he assumed that it had something to do with the fact that he genuinely thought that Sirius was going to shout "sike" any moment now, but he didn't. There was only silence, but he could hear Sirius' breathing.

"Sirius?"

"Mhm?"
"I agree."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I think so."