So, thanks to everyone's wonderful comments and support, I am continuing! My love for this fic has been restored, thank you everyone so much! I am even thinking about a sequel soon :).

Anyways, here is chapter 21, I hope you enjoy.

Shizuo and Izaya blinked in surprise, the reality of what they had done seeping into theirs. Shinra had seen them, and neither one expected to feel this guilty. Before Izaya could say something, or react the way he had planned, it seemed like Shizuo had beaten him to it, because in the next moment –

"Shinra!" Shizuo was up and out of the room before Izaya could even lift his hand to stop him.

Loud footsteps were echoing across the corridor, followed by another set close behind, through the waiting room, past the reception and out into the setting sun. "Shinra please wait!" Shizuo said again, and this time he was surprised to find that Shinra did. The two slowed down until they stopped completely, a few feet away from each other. Shizuo expected him to turn and scream at him, shout, curse; all the things that the blond knew he deserved. He wasn't going to say something cliché like – "We didn't want you to find out this way." Because while that was the truth, he felt Shinra deserved better. This was a boy that had confessed his feelings without a single fear, no, they weren't even just feelings were they? Shizuo had been aware that Shinra had fallen in love with Izaya, and the boy confessed, only to be rejected. They got past it; their friendship too strong to allow them to part ways so quickly. Now though, Shizuo felt as if he had drove another wedge in between them, all because he himself had done exactly the same thing. Except –

Izaya had accepted him.

Because Izaya felt the same way as he did.

At least Shizuo hoped he did, considering they had been dating for at least four months now. Shizuo chewed his lip, four months, they had kept their relationship a secret for four months, not even Kadota knew, and suddenly there was guilt again. Izaya and Shizuo had mainly done it because of Shinra, because they knew how the boy would feel. Izaya wasn't sure if Shinra still felt that way about him, he wanted to be sure, because you couldn't stop loving someone in such a short time. They really hadn't meant for Shinra to find out like this, and now their fun secret was out. It had been fun, to hide their relationship, exciting even, as Shizuo recalled climbing up the trellis of Izaya's back yard early in the morning. Subtle touches under the table at school, hidden make-out sessions on the roof. Now that was over.

Shizuo felt a knot within his chest, a sudden thought occurred to him, that maybe Izaya was just fond of the secrecy, rather then what was between them. Was their relationship merely a physical one? Thinking about all those times Izaya would use his advances to his silence him, had they even once held a conversation without him turning it into a kissing frenzy? Shizuo shook his head, now was not the time to feel insecure about his and Izaya's relationship like some teenage girl. This was about Shinra, and how he might be feeling now, if there was a way to salvage the friendship between them. Shizuo didn't care if Shinra hated him now, as long as he and Izaya's friendship remained.

"I knew," Shizuo blinked, realising the words hadn't come from his own mouth, but that of Shinra's. What did he just say? "I don't know how, but I knew. Not right away, but I had a strong feeling about it, about you and Izaya. I mean, one minute you were fighting and not even talking to each other, and the next, you were fine, better then fine. I just, I had a feeling that one day you would – be like this."

Shizuo didn't know what to say, Shinra was calmer then he expected, whether that was a good thing or not, he didn't know. "It – we haven't been together like this for long."

Shinra finally turned to him, and Shizuo didn't need to be good at reading people to know what kind of expression Shinra was wearing right now.

He looked betrayed.

But he was smiling. A sad smile.

"But long enough, right?"

Shizuo sighed, rubbing the back of his head, Shinra was too calm and Shizuo didn't know how to deal with it, mainly because he hadn't expected it. "Four months." Shizuo cringed, that was probably not what Shinra wanted to hear, but no taking it back now.

"Do you care about him?"

Shizuo snorted, what kind of question was that – "Of course I do." Shizuo didn't even need to think about that.

"Does he care about you?" Seriously? What was with all the questions suddenly?

"I guess. He said he does." That was true. Back in the van. Izaya had said that, hadn't he? That he cared about him. Suddenly all fears of their relationship being just physical were squashed down and locked away.

Shinra looked at him, a somewhat frown on his face. "Do you love him?"

Shizuo could have choked on the air if he wasn't so surprised by the question. That was bold. They weren't ready for something like that, their relationship wasn't that far along, Shizuo wouldn't even recognise the feeling if it even came up. Izaya was his first relationship after all, and he was pretty certain that he was Izaya's too. They were barely both sixteen. Who's to say that this wasn't just a simple high school, romance. Too much. Too fast. "We're not there yet. It's not like that right now. We care about each other, that's enough."

Shinra nodded, somehow that made him feel better, not the fact they had yet to declare any love, but rather Shizuo's honesty. "What about – have you, erm…."

Shizuo's eyes widened. Jesus fucking Christ! "No! God no! Why would you even ask me that!" Shizuo was only shouting because he was quite sure that he would die of embarrassment at any moment.

"Well that was rather aggressive. I'm not sure whether I should feel offended by that." Neither of them had spoken just then, which only meant –

Both Shizuo and Shinra turned around to see –

Of course, Izaya.

"Izaya! What the hell," Shizuo said as he approached, followed by Shinra. "You are not supposed to be out of bed. More importantly, how did you even get past all the nurses?" Izaya wasn't sure whether he liked the fact that, not only did he have Shinra to fuss over him, but Shizuo too, who was even worse. The blond worried about him way too much, but, he didn't hate it. Izaya chuckled, but leaned back against the wall of flowerbeds, because he wasn't sure he could remain standing much longer at the moment. Honestly, he had just come out here encase either one of them was about to kill the other. Damn, he felt a little lightheaded actually; the stupidity of his spontaneous actions catching up to him way too fast. Shizuo was by his side, concern etching it's way onto his face when he noticed how pale Izaya had gone. Izaya's hand found it's way over Shizuo's arm, latching onto it as if that was his only support barrier. "Idiot." Shizuo frowned at him and then lifted him, wrapping his arm around Izaya's waist to support him.

Izaya looked at Shinra, trying to ignore whatever pain was making itself known, he also didn't have the heart to tell Shizuo that his hand was brushing against his stitches and it was extremely uncomfortable. Because if Shizuo removed his hand, Izaya was quite sure he'd just fall over. "I'm sorry."

Shinra blinked at him, and he suddenly felt guilty for reacting the way he had done. He huffed a laugh, it didn't look like a joke, or something fleeting that would disappear after a while. With the way Shizuo was holding Izaya, so protectively, it made him rather happy. But Shinra knew Izaya could freak out on occasion, so he just hoped their feelings were on mutual par. Shinra stepped to the other side of his friend, clasping his elbow. "I'm sorry I freaked. It really was kind of a shock to be honest."

Izaya felt relief wash over him. Either that, or it was the beginning of a fever. Izaya chuckled. "Couldn't have been that shocked if you already had a feeling about us."

Both Shinra and Shizuo looked at him in surprise. Shizuo almost blushed and said, "How long were you even standing there?"

Izaya looked at him with a grin, "Long enough." Shizuo tensed. "Relax. I think you described our situation quite well. It's good to know that we're on the same level, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo glanced away, still embarrassed at being overheard, but at the same time, relieved that Izaya felt the same way.

"Oh and Shinra?" Izaya spoke again, causing the bespectacled boy to look at him. "The day Shizu-chan and I decide to – go all the way, let it be known that you will not be told." Izaya grinned at him as Shinra blushed. "Honestly, why would you really even want to know that? or is it something for you to think about while you're alone~"

Shizuo's eyes widened. "All right! that's it, we're getting you back inside. Damn it"

Izaya chuckled. "Aww. Shizu-chan is embarrassed!"

Shizuo gritted his teeth. He and Shinra then led the fever stricken raven back into the hospital. Ignoring his continued rambles on whereabouts their physical relationship was currently. In all honesty, Shizuo preferred it when Izaya was stubborn while having a fever, like when they were at the orphanage; not this talkative- letting out secrets- kind of fever.

….

Three weeks later.

Shizuo shifted in the tangle of covers. Warmth spread throughout his body, and it wasn't because of the gleaming sun that was bouncing off from the window behind him. Opening his eyes, trying to blink away the sleep, he tried to sit up, but realised something was weighing against his legs. Frowning, he looked to his left – no Izaya. remembering that he was in the raven's bedroom after sneaking in last night through his window, there was only one logical explanation – that would explain his absence, and the weight between himself. Slowly, Shizuo pulled back the covers and almost gasped at the sight. Izaya grinned up at him then, noticing that Shizuo was awake and that his ministrations had been effective in doing so. Shizuo felt his throat close up for a second, not too sure if what he saw, was what he really thought. "Um….Izaya?" His voice was almost a whisper.

Izaya looked at him with the most innocent expression he could muster. And didn't that just make the situation worse. "Yes, Shizu-chan?"

Damn it. Shizuo tensed under that expression Izaya was giving him. He was all too aware of the position the raven was in, and just where his mouth was hovering, along with his fingers. "What are you doing?" as if he really needed to ask – but he did, clarification was key at this point, because he could be entirely wrong.

Izaya grinned again, innocent expression entirely gone from his face. "Waking you up."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow then. "I can see that. Were the other ways just not that effective?" He tried so hard not to think about what Izaya had been doing before he woke up, but damn it, his body was remembering and clearly craving more.

"Oh. I didn't try. This proved to be very effective." Shizuo's whole body stiffened at the words, he wasn't even sure if what Izaya was doing was right. Sure, they had been a lot more intimate since their friends knew about them now, but this was not in the mix. They had only just started to get comfortable enough to wake up together, maybe with a little less clothing on – but they hadn't gone this far, and Izaya was just -

"Izaya, this is dangerous territory here." Shizuo cringed, dangerous territory, who the hell says that?!

Izaya chuckled though, he obviously found it more amusing then Shizuo expected. "Don't worry~ I've a pretty good idea what I'm doing."

Shizuo gaped at him, that was not what he meant. Was Izaya really going to – and in his own fucking bedroom, while his parent's and his sisters were in the house?

"Relax. No one is home. I checked. My parent's are at work, and my sisters are at a friend's house."

Shizuo chewed his lip, not sure if that made him feel any better about this. "Izaya – are you sure we should - " A groan suddenly escaped his mouth, cutting off the sentence he had wanted to say when Izaya's fingers slowly trailed up his length. "Shit."

Izaya chuckled. "Well that was a complimented reaction. It's much better when I can hear you voice your pleasure, rather than just see it."

Shizuo frowned at him and then laughed. "That didn't exactly sound good you know."

Izaya laughed too. "I know. Realised that after I said it. Heh." Izaya moved his hand again, slowly, testing Shizuo's reaction, wondering if he really didn't want this. Izaya wasn't going to continue if the blond was too uncomfortable, or too embarrassed. A moan was all he received though, and Izaya grinned. "I guess that answers my thoughts."

Shizuo opened his eyes and looked at him. "What?"

Izaya's grin widened. "You want it."

Shizuo blushed, wondering where the hell Izaya got his confidence from. "Shut up."

Izaya chuckled and gently moved his short nails up the shaft. Shizuo bucked slightly. "That's not a very nice thing to say to someone that's about to take care of your morning predicament. Shizu-chan~" Now Izaya was making jokes. How could he be so damn collected, especially when he was about to – Shizuo then groaned when he felt those fingers wrap around him - do that. Izaya moved his hand up and down, stroking him at a pace that was just right. not too quick, yet not agonisingly slow.

"Izaya - " Shizuo breathed out.

Izaya caressed him, trailing his fingers over the head and dipping his finger in just a little bit into the hole. Shizuo moaned appreciatively, bucking again and clenching his fists around the covers. This only spurred Izaya's bold actions on, causing him to become even more daring. Seeing that reaction, he wanted to explore more of it, to see what he could do that would cause Shizuo to become a begging mess. Licking his lips, he brought his mouth down over the head of his cock and sucked. Shizuo froze when he felt warmth spread over him, the impulse of Izaya's moves were not a failure, the blond almost thrust. Izaya grinned around his cock and his tongue darted out, began to swirl around him, pushing against the head and then – he brought his mouth further down. Shizuo moaned loudly when Izaya took him further. Izaya pulled back and took a breath before going down on him again, further still. He sucked, licked and then gave a hum, sending the vibrations straight through Shizuo. Izaya's other hand started to caress his balls, fingertips kneading them and ghosting up his shaft as his mouth continued to move up and down on him. "Shizu-chan…." Izaya managed to say, and god….. he was hard himself. His erection throbbed each time he took Shizuo in, damn.

Shizuo groaned as Izaya slowed his mouth to ghost over his head, letting his tongue flick across, Shizuo suddenly thrust and Izaya almost pulled back completely. "…Sorry.." The blond mumbled quickly, Izaya relaxed with a chuckle. He wrapped his hand around his length and began taking him faster, more daring, sucking harder. "Shit…" Izaya could feel him tense, knowing Shizuo was close – and he himself was –

Then Shizuo moaned loudly and said, "Izaya….I – I'm coming…," And Shizuo gripped the sheets as Izaya pulled back a little and prepared himself, he couldn't help but grind against the bed, against Shizuo's leg when he heard the blond's voice. "Coming!" Shizuo released himself, bucking and writhing, and Izaya swallowed and then pulled back as the rest of Shizuo's orgasm hit his chin and over his chest. Izaya released a gasp of surprise and for a second Shizuo thought it was because of the unexpected – he had warned him right? and then he saw Izaya's face and blinked in surprise. Izaya gritted his teeth and panted for breath and then collapsed against him. Shizuo's head hit the pillow, still catching his own breath, not quite sure what happened, and not ready to question it. "Fuck…"

Shizuo caught his breath, sitting up slightly as Izaya moved over him, wiping his mouth. Then Shizuo realised, and his hand moved in between them – "Shall I- " Izaya laughed nervously, batting Shizuo's hand away from him.

"No need. I came already…"

Shizuo's mouth fell open into an O. and the realisation that Izaya's expression just now – Sucking him off had brought Izaya to climax as well. Huh. "Well…..We've never done that before."

Izaya laughed louder. Looking up at him with a slightly dazed expression. "Hm…, how was it for you?"

Shizuo almost rolled his eyes, he didn't need to inflate Izaya's ego anymore. But – "Hot." He couldn't lie, what they had done was certainly not what Shizuo would call – clean. But it certainly was hot.

"Why thank you." Izaya grinned and brought his lips down on Shizuo's before he could make any protest about just where his mouth had been. Shizuo pushed against him, but something of a moan came out instead of the annoyed grunt he was hoping for.

Shizuo looked at him when he pulled away, arms coming up to caress Izaya's arms. "Good morning."

Izaya smiled. "Good morning indeed~"

…

Two months later.

Shinra and Kadota shared a worried glance, their two friends were acting strange. Shizuo glanced up at Izaya every now and then, while the raven simply avoided his gaze all together, picking at his sushi as he leaned up against the wall opposite them. "Something going on?" Shinra asked, and this caused Shizuo and Izaya to tense. "Guys?

Kadota raised an eyebrow when neither one replied, Shizuo was frowning and stabbing a piece of salmon like he wanted to murder it. Izaya looked like he wanted to bolt.

"It's nothing…" Izaya said, finding his voice.

Shizuo glared at him then, that poor salmon once again feeling his rage. "Oh right. I forgot. Of course, it's nothing."

Shinra and Kadota wondered what the hell had gotten into them. Usually by now, the two had either disappeared to do who knows what, or Izaya was taking a nap with his head comfortable on Shizuo's lap. Now, they weren't even sitting next to one another, completely opposite actually, and quite literally. Izaya sighed in annoyance. "Now is not the time Shizuo." The raven was hostile. Hearing Shizuo's correct name, they knew whatever had happened was serious enough.

Shizuo snapped the chopstick between his fingers. "Was there ever going to be a right time?"

Izaya's eyes narrowed and he stood up. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Shizuo followed, standing up, clenching his fists. "A real relationship is physical and emotional, and I'm only now starting to realise that you only wanted the former."

Izaya's eyes widened for a second and then he frowned. "You form one relationship and suddenly you're an expert?"

Shizuo glared at him. "I wasn't the one to bolt after hearing three fucking words!"

Izaya flinched. Shizuo said it like it was no big deal, but it clearly was a big deal, in Shizuo's eyes at least. "Tch. One, it was two words and a letter, but someone as simple minded as you wouldn't notice that; secondly, I didn't bolt, you did."

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "That's because you told me to! You're so afraid of your own feelings that you run away at the first sign of something true!"

Izaya narrowed his eyes and then did just that – he ran.

The other two watched him run off and disappear from the roof. Shizuo sighed with a slump of his shoulders, he turned around only to meet the surprised expressions of his friends. "You don't need to say it. I fucked up; I know."

Shinra tilted his head, expressing sympathy. "What happened Shizuo?"

Kadota knew exactly what had happened, it was kind of obvious from the way the two were arguing. "Correct me if I'm wrong….but you said something that freaked him out, didn't you?"

Shizuo blinked at him, wondering if Kadota had actually figured it out. "Yes. I don't know why I said it, but it just felt right. I looked at him and – that's when I felt it, something I've never felt before, it was the only explanation I could think of."

Shinra's eyes widened, having concluded what Shizuo was on about. "You told Izaya that you loved him!?"

Shizuo frowned. Why was that such a bad thing? They'd been together almost eight months, known each other for over a year – why was everyone acting like it was a horrible thing? Shizuo nodded.

"Why did you say that?"

Shizuo was even more confused. "What do you mean, 'why did I say that,' I said it because it's true!" Shizuo almost blushed, it felt a little weirder to admit it to his friends.

Shinra sighed. "Izaya is a flight risk. Seriously, you probably freaked him out. Stuff like this worries him."

Shizuo inclined his head up, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I should know that. I mean, he did run off the first time I kissed him,"

Shinra smiled. "And then you got together right?" The blond nodded. "So don't get discouraged or anything. Maybe you said it too soon?"

Shizuo chewed his lip as he glanced down at the ground. "Or maybe he just doesn't feel the same way." The blond then left them without another word.

Kadota watched him leave and then turned to Shinra. "Wow. That was a little unexpected. To be honest, I didn't think either of them would say something like that."

Shinra shook his head. From the moment he found out about them at the hospital, Shinra could see it in Shizuo's eyes, he knew that what Shizuo had said was a lie, because he knew what it looked like. Shinra had often looked at Izaya with the same look as the one Shizuo gave him. Shinra smiled though. "Neither did I." He lied. He had tried to give Shizuo a hint, when he'd asked him whether or not he loved him. After hearing the reply, despite being untrue, he was sure Shizuo wouldn't say anything.

….

Waiting until all of the students and their teacher were gone from the classroom, Shizuo then grabbed Izaya's hand, stopping him from leaving. "Izaya, can we talk?" At first, Shizuo thought that the raven was just going to run again after letting his hand go. Instead, Izaya sighed and turned around, meeting the blond's gaze. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it, I guess."

Izaya placed his hands in his pockets. "It's not that you said it, it's the fact that you were ready. I – Shizu-chan you sounded so sure, and I panicked."

Shizuo stepped forward and reached for Izaya's hand. "But, It's true. Izaya I lov- "

Izaya yanked his hand back. "No! stop that! Shizuo, I am not ready for this, it's not fair that you can say, and I can't!"

Shizuo frowned, his hand falling to his side. "What do you mean? you're not ready to say it, you don't feel that way, or what."

"I don't know! I- maybe it's both. I don't know how I feel…" Izaya averted his gaze.

Shizuo nodded. "Ok. I'm sorry. I take it back or something, we can just go back to how it was before."

Izaya shook his head. "No. We can't. I- don't know if I will ever feel that way – and you said it, and now I'm left with this pressure….that I don't want to hurt you, so - "

Shizuo's eyes widened. "What does that mean?"

Izaya looked up at him, and Shizuo didn't miss the sparkle of tears in the raven's eyes. "You deserve better. I'm sorry…" And before Shizuo could stop him, Izaya ran out of the classroom.

Shizuo clenched his fists. Glaring at the floor, though his vision was clouded. Kadota then chose that moment to walk into the classroom.

"Hey. Ready to go?" Kadota asked. He then frowned. "Something wrong? Where's Izaya, did he leave already?"

"Yes."

"Did he go home?"

Shizuo wasn't willing to look at him, he just clenched his fists tighter. "Don't know. But, I think we just broke up."

Kadota gaped at him and stepped forward. "Oh. Damn. Shizuo, I'm sorry man."

Shizuo sighed. "He said that he wasn't ready and that he might not ever feel the same, and that I deserved better. Then he apologised and- and then he left."

Kadota didn't know what to say, he knew the situation wasn't right, but he didn't think the two would break up. "I didn't expect that,"

Shizuo huffed a laugh, but Kadota could tell that he was hurting. "Neither did I."

"Listen. Why don't you come over to mine, we can talk or play games- "

Shizuo smiled but shook his head. "S'fine. I just wanna be alone. But thanks."

Kadota nodded and Shizuo walked out of the classroom.

….

Izaya opened the front door of his house. Immediately wiping away the tears he didn't want anybody to see. "I'm home~" he sang, masking his hurt with a cheerful voice. His sisters came bounding into the corridor and he smiled at them, they froze. Izaya held his arms out, waiting for them to throw themselves at him. "Mairu, Kururi?"

Mairu tilted her head and said in a low voice, "What's wrong Iz-nii?"

Izaya gave her a small laugh. "What do you mean? nothing's wrong."

Kururi nodded. "Iz-nii sad…."

Izaya smiled. "Am I?"

Mairu and Kururi looked at one another and then ran toward him, hugging him tightly. "It'll be ok. Nissan."

Izaya knelt down, wrapping his arms around them. "Nothing gets past you two, does it?" Izaya swallowed, his eyes glistening slightly as he held them both tighter. They couldn't know what was wrong, but they knew he was sad, and he could never hide that from them. The twins might be young, but they wasn't stupid. The two pulled away and Izaya smiled. "Thank you, I needed that,"

Just then, his mother poked her head out of the living room. He looked up at her and stood up, hoping she hadn't noticed his sad expression, he smiled. "Sorry I'm a little late." He told her, and from the way she was looking at him, he got the feeling that he was in trouble. "Something wrong?"

Kyouko shook her head and waved him into the living room. "Your father and I want to talk to you about something."

Izaya tilted his head, that didn't sound good. "A-Alright…" he then turned to his sisters and said, "When I've finished, we'll play pretend ok?" Their smiles brightened and they ran off up the stairs. Izaya followed his mother into the room where his dad was seated on the couch. Shirou smiled and gestured for Izaya to sit on the armchair opposite him. Izaya did so as Kyouko took her seat back next to her husband.

"Izaya. We need to tell you something."

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me that I'm adopted or something?" He huffed a laugh, but when they didn't respond right away his smile faded. "Am I?" His eyes widened in panic.

Kyouko shuffled off the couch quickly and took his hands. "No! sweetie no! You're our son. That's not it at all."

Izaya sighed in relief, though now he felt kind of silly for saying it. "All right. Then what is it? I'm starting to worry." Kyouko looked back at her husband and Izaya followed her sight. "Father?"

Shirou rubbed his face and sighed. "We want you to stop taking those paranormal jobs."

Izaya frowned, how did they know about that? "What do you mean?"

Kyouko smiled. "We're not mad. We sort of figured it out when you were in the hospital. Sweetie, it's too dangerous and- "

Izaya sat back a little. "I know it is. But we're serious, it's turning into a business, we have camera's now and- "

"It's not just the danger. We're proud of you, for wanting to start your own business. But I really must protest. We feel, we think you should stop."

Izaya frowned. "Is this because I almost got stabbed? Because that doesn't happen usually- " he cringed, that probably wasn't the best way to convince them. "Besides, Shizu-chan was- " Izaya closed his mouth, chewing his lip, the mentioning of the blond's name sent a stabbing pain in his heart. He didn't even know what they were going to do now that he and Shizuo were broken up, would the blond even still want to continue to be part of it? Would he still be able to rely on Shizuo's protection against the spirits? Would Shizuo even want to protect him? "He was there…." Izaya said, feeling an emptiness inside his chest. "He- he's always there…" Izaya clenched a fist, trying his hardest not to let his emotions show.

"I know. You've gotten some great friends Izaya, but it's still too dangerous. There's- there's a reason that might make you reconsider."

Izaya tensed, why did he not like the sound of that? "Ok?"

Shirou sighed and said, "You remember you told us about the time you used a Ouija board?" Izaya gulped, wondering why they were bringing this up now. He nodded. "Well. There was a reason why we weren't too angry with you."

Izaya raised an eyebrow and then chuckled. "I thought it was because you were just cool parents."

Kyouko shook her head but rolled her eyes. "Don't get smart. We're trying to be serious here." She then looked back at Shirou. "Continue dear."

Shirou nodded. "Izaya, before we found out that we were expecting a child, expecting you; we- we did Ouija boarding ourselves."

Izaya's eyes widened a fraction. "What?"

"It's true. We were young and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. We asked a bunch of odd questions, and then- the planchette started to move on its own."

Izaya rolled his eyes. "That's not- "

But they weren't done with their story. "It spelt a word out- pregnant. Four days later, your mother found out she was pregnant, already two months along."

Izaya stilled. They had- they had used a Ouija board- while she was already pregnant with him. Did that mean, that him being able to see spirits wasn't just because he had messed with a board himself? Had that just been a coincidence? Like it would have happened regardless or whether he did or not. "I- are you kidding me?" Izaya frowned, standing up, hands balled into fists. "You used a fucking Ouija board while pregnant!?"

Shirou frowned. "Watch that language Izaya!"

"Fuck no! you- you just- " Izaya laughed sardonically. "I can't believe it. Well, it's no wonder that all the spirits and demons are always attracted to me! I could still believe that I can see them because I used one. But now, now this makes a lot more sense too." Izaya was pacing now, he was angry, no, he was fuming.

"Izaya, I know you're mad and I understand that but- wait, did you say spirits are attracted to you?"

Izaya laughed again. "Yes. I can see them, and they like me, thanks to you; I've been shoved down the stairs; suffocated inside a coffin; I've almost drowned; I've been mauled by a demonic dog, and lastly, I almost burnt to death! That's right, there's the danger right there. The fucking cold reality to what you caused me. I might have gotten myself into trouble at the same time, but the fact that the spirits attack me all the time, is on you!" Izaya couldn't stop himself, he was so distraught, and now the tears were falling from his face and he didn't even care.

Kyouko stared at him, her expression one of hurt, she had no idea that what they'd done had caused Izaya any misfortune. "Izaya- I'm so sorry sweetheart- "

Izaya gritted his teeth. "You had me thinking that all of this was because of what I did! Only now to tell me that part of it was your fault! How could you keep something like this from me?"

Shirou knew his son was angry, but he wasn't going to tolerate Izaya's yelling like this. "Izaya! calm down right now!"

Izaya span around, eyes glaring. "Don't you think I have a right to be angry!? Is that what you're worried about? Am I not acting like the good son you think I am?" Izaya laughed. "Well sorry, you're not the parents I thought you were either!"

Kyouko stood up to reach out for him. "Please- Izaya, I'm so sorry."

Izaya chewed his lip and choked back a sob before a sardonic smile came over his face. "Oh! By the way, Shizuo and I were in a relationship, he told me that he loved me, and I pushed him away. We broke up just now! we broke up and then you tell me that I've been cursed by a board! Perfect fucking timing!"

Kyouko and Shirou were shocked, they didn't know how to take the extra news. His mother tried to reach for him again and he backed away, eyes still watering. "Izaya- "

Izaya's breathing was heavy, he didn't ever remember shouting so much, he wasn't even sure he could be this angry. His parent's had always been there for him- and now –

He broke up with Shizuo –

He didn't even think he could confide in Shinra this time –

Izaya was alone, for the first time in a long while, he was alone. "I have to get out of here." Kyouko and Shirou moved to stop him, but Izaya had already ran up the stairs.

Izaya was shoving items in a rucksack when his little sisters padded into the room. He spared them a glance and continued his task.

"Iz-nii? What are you doing?" Mairu asked.

Izaya frowned as he grabbed his wallet off the side. "Leaving." He simply said and shouldered the bag that had been stuffed with clothes and travel cosmetics.

"But- you can't leave, we'll miss you too much."

Izaya stopped for a second, glancing back at them. "You're better off without me." He then made his way to his window and yanked it open.

"No!" Mairu and Kururi ran over to him, grasping at his legs. "Don't go Iz-nii!"

Izaya sighed and pried their hands off him. "It's for the best. I need to be alone right now. Be good ok?" Izaya climbed up onto the window ledge and smiled at his sisters before making his way down the trellis.

"We're supposed to play pretend!" Mairu shouted as tears streamed down her face, Kururi sobbing next to her.

…..

Shinra walked into the school, his friends were still by their lockers- at least two of them were. He sighed as he walked toward them, turning to open his own locker. "No sign of him?"

Kadota shook his head. "No, it's been two days already. I asked around, and no one has seen him at all."

Shizuo slammed the door of his locker and stormed off up the stairs.

"What a mess," Shinra said and then looked back at Kadota. "I don't think Izaya would skip school like this just because of what happened between him and Shizuo."

Kadota frowned. "Do you think something else happened?"

Shinra nodded. "We should go over to his house. If he's not answering our texts or avoiding us by not coming to school, then we'll just go over there and pry it out of him."

Kadota blinked at the harshness. "You think that's going to work?"

"He responds a lot better to persistence. We're not going to give him a choice."

"If you say so."

…

Shinra, Kadota and Shizuo stared in shock at the woman on the doorstep. They had all decided to go to Izaya's house after school ended, because they were worried about him. Shizuo didn't know if he should have, but he needed to know if Izaya was ok; he had tried to send him a few messages, tried to call him, but he hadn't gotten any replies. Now, now he was even more worried than before –

Izaya had run away from home.

Kyouko swallowed back her tears and gave them a smile. "He got extremely angry after we discussed a few things. He left two days ago. Even though I know he's mad, I know he's ok. Izaya still sends me a text every day, nothing warming, just- enough to reassure me," Kyouko showed them her phone, showed them the messages, it was repeated, but once daily.

'I'm ok.'

"I think it's to reassure his sisters more then us. But I'm grateful anyway."

Shinra glanced at his friends and then back at Kyouko. "Please….please let us know if you hear anything. I'll search for him in the meantime."

Kyouko nodded. "I will do. You have been such good friend's to him, I have to thank you for that." Shinra smiled and then walked away, his friends following. "Shizuo?" she called. Shizuo turned around after hearing his name. "Him running away isn't your fault."

Shizuo blinked in surprise. "Um….I don't- "

Kyouko gave him a sad smile. "I know you told Izaya that you love him. But him running away isn't because of that." Shizuo paled, what the hell; had Izaya really just told his parents about them. "I'm just sorry that my son is so stubborn. You're a good kid Shizuo, and I appreciate you looking out for him all this time."

Shizuo didn't know how to react to that, what had caused Izaya to tell his parent's all of a sudden? Was it out of anger, did he tell them accidently? Shizuo merely nodded and then quickly walked away.

Shinra jogged up next to him. "Shizuo? Are you ok?"

Shizuo didn't reply, he just kept on walking and before Shinra could follow any further, Kadota grabbed his arm. "Leave him. I think he wants to be alone Shinra."

Shinra sighed.

Four days later.

Shinra, Kadota and Shizuo walked out of the school gates, they had to walk partially the same way home. Shizuo was quiet, and he had been for some time, because the missing member of their group- was still missing. They had no idea where he was, or if he really was ok.

Shizuo wasn't so sure he was convinced that the reason for Izaya's disappearance, wasn't entirely his fault. It sounded like Izaya and his parent's had had a massive argument, which probably was part of the reason, but Shizuo would be willing to bet that he was the cause of it too. How had it gone so wrong, so quick. He hadn't said I love you just casually, he truly meant it, but- Izaya didn't reciprocate, and Shizuo felt like an idiot for ruining the best thing that had happened to him since he arrived at the school.

Shinra frowned. He was Izaya's best friend, he needed to be there for him, but he didn't know where the hell he was! He spared a glance over at the abandoned building, their first ghost hunting experience. It seemed like a lifetime ago since they were there, it had been only the three of them back then- him, Kadota and Izaya; why did it feel like things were simpler back then? Now everything was so complicated, he supposed that they were just growing up, experiencing situations other than their interest in the paranormal. There would be a lot more to come later on in their lives, but Shinra felt as though they had lived the worst of them already.

His eyes widened. Shinra wasn't sure, but an instinctive feeling came over him. He looked over at his friends who had continued to walk on while he had stopped. "Um. I just," he started to call, they turned around. "I remembered I left my book back in class. You guys go ahead, I'll see you tomorrow."

Kadota shrugged. "We'll wait for you."

Shinra vigorously shook his head. "No! I mean, no, it's fine. I'll catch you at school tomorrow." He laughed nervously and then ran back toward the school.

Shizuo and Kadota stared after him, the blond turned to carry on walking. "Well that was odd." Kadota said as he followed.

"He is odd." Shizuo replied.

Shinra peeked around the corner, having ducked behind the fence, waiting for them to turn the corner down the street. He then ran back down the pathway and stopped at the familiar wired fence. Taking a deep breath, Shinra climbed up and then down the other side.

The place was no longer plagued by spirits. But the building still sent a chill up his spine, he just wondered why the hell Izaya would choose this of all places to hide out, because that was what his gut was telling him, Izaya was here. "He has to be." Shinra muttered to himself as he opened the door.

Shinra stepped into the building, flinching as the floorboards creaked with every other step he took. "Izaya?" Shinra whispered and made his way through the first corridor, peering into the rooms, Izaya may have chosen to stay here, but Shinra knew he wasn't stupid. Upstairs would be too unstable to rely on that for a temporary bedsit.

"How did you know I was here?"

The voice startled him, Shinra span around and gasped in fright. "Izaya! you scared the crap of me!"

Izaya didn't respond, he just frowned, waiting for Shinra to reply to his question.

But Shinra was too happy to see him, he ran over and wrapped his arms around him. "Izaya! thank god!"

Izaya sighed in annoyance and shoved him off. "Shinra. What are you doing here? how did you know I was even here? I didn't tell anyone."

Shinra's grip tightened on Izaya's arms. "Izaya. I've been worried sick about you. I was walking home just now and- I don't why, I just felt like this was where you were- I'm sorry, but I had to know you were really ok."

Izaya looked at his friend, biting his lower lip. "Shinra I- "

Shinra frowned, he could see so much hurt in his friend's eyes. "What happened?"

Izaya huffed a laugh. "You really want to know?"

Shinra nodded. "I do. Tell me Izaya."

…..

Shinra had listened to his friend tell him about what he had been told when he got home. Izaya told him about his breakup with Shizuo, only to then come home and find out that his parent's had kept an important secret from him his whole life.

They were sat on the bed that Izaya had been using to sleep in. Shinra glanced over at the raven, watching him as he held his head in his hands. "What do I do now Shinra. How am I supposed to go home and face them?"

Shinra frowned. "Izaya, you didn't do anything wrong."

Izaya lifted his head, looking at the far wall. "You don't think I overreacted?"

"No way. You had every right to be as angry as you were." Shinra sighed and tightened his grip on the mattress. "I just- I wished you came to me. I really was worried that something had happened to you."

Izaya smiled and then his expression became sad, eyes glistening as he said, "What about Shizu-chan? Did I mess up?"

Shinra shook his head. "Shizuo is a good person, and a great friend. But, if you really didn't feel the same, or if you weren't ready for all of that yet, then I don't think you were wrong to break up with him if that's how you felt." Izaya looked at him, Shinra smiled. "What?"

Izaya's breath quickened, all of his emotions, all of his anger- Izaya leaned forward so quickly that Shinra didn't have time to stop him. Izaya pressed his lips to Shinra's in a desperate kiss.

Shinra's eyes widened and he pushed against Izaya's shoulders. "Izaya wait- what are you doing?"

Izaya pushed against him so that Shinra lay across the bed. "Isn't this what wanted?" he said and then leaned down to kiss him again, Shinra hummed a yes and then pushed him back.

"Izaya no- not like this, I know you're hurting right now, and I want to be here for you. But not like this, it's not fair to either of us."

Izaya then sat up as though Shinra had burned him. "Shit. Shinra- I'm sorry,"

Shinra reached out to him. "Izaya it's ok- "

Izaya pulled away. "No it's not. Just go, please."

Shinra frowned and shuffled over to him. "I'm not leaving you."

Izaya looked at him, tears of anger catching Shinra off guard. "It. fucking. Hurts. Shinra. I- " Izaya turned his head and ran over to the draw, he grabbed his flick blade and placed it against his wrist -

Shinra had never moved so quickly, he reached Izaya and grabbed his hand. "Izaya no!"

Izaya's breathing was heavy, tears running down his face. "It hurts! I don't know what to do anymore!" Shinra wrapped his arms around him, and Izaya collapsed to the floor taking Shinra with him. "Shinra…" Izaya grasped his arm and sobbed into his chest. "Please…make it stop hurting…"

Shinra's heart broke for his friend, and he shook with the fear of what might have happened if he hadn't have come here. "I'm here. I'm here Izaya."

Izaya lifted his head, his cheeks stained with tears, he slowly pressed his lips against Shinra's again. "Stay with me, Shinra."

Shinra frowned, this was a bad idea. So bad- he knew Izaya would regret this in the morning, and he found himself speaking without thinking. "Don't do anything you'll regret Izaya."

Izaya swallowed and then smiled, he pressed his lips hard against Shinra's. "We won't go all the way, I guess.."

Shinra nodded and then Izaya pushed him to the floor. Shinra knew whatever they did from here, was going to be a mistake anyway, Izaya was vulnerable, he was hurting and not thinking straight- but Shinra didn't want to leave him alone. Shinra gasped when Izaya nipped and kissed his neck, his jaw and then his lips, all the while removing both their clothing in less then a minute. Izaya's actions were fast, his hands were everywhere, his mouth kissed down his chest and Shinra moaned when a tongue licked across his nipples. Izaya grinded against him and panted at the friction, he pulled Shinra up and shoved on the bed. Izaya gasped when Shinra's hand reached out and touched him, wrapped around him. "Ngh…Shinra." Izaya's back hit the wall and Shinra straddled him, leaning down to kiss him on the lips. He stroked Izaya fast and the raven threw his head back in pleasure. "Not yet." Izaya said and shoved Shinra backwards, pressing his body to him. "Come with me." And Izaya moved against him, causing them both to gasp.

"Izaya….Oh…that feels good…"

Izaya grinned and began pushing against him, grinding their bodies with hard movements. Izaya moaned and lifted himself up with his elbows, Shinra gasped and groaned as Izaya continued his thrusting against his hard cock. The friction creating breathless pants and sweat poured from their face from their repetitive actions. Izaya didn't slow down, he was desperate for release and- he wrapped his hand around Shinra's cock, stroking him fast.

"Izaya! I'm – I'm gonna come….oh god Yessss!" Izaya grinned and then let go, Shinra groaned at the prevention, but then Izaya leaned over him again. Kissing him, sucking his neck as he grinded hard against him. "Izaya….I need to come…now."

Izaya thrust against him and gritted his teeth as he tensed. "Shinra….I'm- coming…" Izaya cried out as he came, panting hard.

Shinra arched up and released his own orgasm and they both collapsed. Shinra's hand came up and stroked Izaya's back. "You ok?"

Izaya panted heavily, turning his head away, laying on Shinra's chest, his face full of guilt. Izaya chewed his lip as he just nodded a reply.

What have I done?