Going to a notoriously busy theme park during a school holiday was the last thing Badd wanted to do, but there he was.
There were people everywhere he looked. Every single ride seemed to have a ginormous queue. God, how he hated queues. Still, he'd promised his sister he'd take her there, and there was no going back.
"Let's go on that one!" Zenko said. It was one of those rides that involved sitting in a chair and being spun around. Naturally, the queue was huge.
"Queue's pretty long," Badd grunted.
Zenko frowned. "I don't care! Let's go on it!"
Badd sighed, following his cheerful sister over to the queue. He folded his arms, while his sister bounced around brightly. How she could be so excited for a ride with a queue this long, he didn't know. At least it would make the wait more bearable.
"Hey!" an irate voice shouted. "What are you doing here?"
Badd looked up, glaring at the owner of the voice: Tatsumaki, the Tornado of Terror. She was hovering above the queue, arms crossed.
"'Cause I'm allowed to be here, punk," Badd answered.
"You copy-cat!" Tatsumaki yelled. "You stole my idea! I was gonna come here with my sister!"
"Bullshit!" Badd argued. "I ain't copyin' ya! We just happened to come on the same day!"
"Liar!" Tatsumaki growled. "You lower Class S heroes are always trying to copy us higher-ranks!"
"The Hell did ya say?" Badd asked, pulling out his bat. "You wanna go, punk?"
"As if I'd be scared of your stupid metal stick!" Tatsumaki shouted. "I'm going to-"
"Oh, look, sister," Fubuki appeared just at the right moment, her voice hasty, "that stall over there is selling candy apples!"
"Where?" Tatsumaki asked, completely forgetting about Badd.
"Right over there!" Fubuki answered, pointing to a stall moderately far away. That was no problem for the 2nd ranked S Class Hero, who flew over there at super-speed, disturbing various people. Fubuki sighed heavily.
"Sister, wait up!" she cried, following her older sister's trail of perturbed people.
"Miss Blizzard!" Lily shouted, holding out a hand. Poppy was behind her, an annoyed look on her face. It disappeared when she saw Zenko.
"Zenko!" she shouted, waving to her friend.
"Poppy!" Zenko replied, waving back. "Big bro and I are going on a ride! Do you wanna come on as well?"
"Lily!" Poppy grabbed her frantic sister's staff. "Can I go on a ride with Zenko and her brother?"
"Sure thing," Lily replied, only half-paying attention. "I'm going after Miss Blizzard. Call me later, okay?"
"Okay!" Poppy said, brightly. The sisters split ways. Poppy went over to Zenko and her brother, while Lily chased after her boss. While chasing her, Lily spotted a fun-looking carnival game. She slowed down to stare at it. It had some great-looking prizes.
Well… Lily thought. Miss Blizzard won't mind if I play a quick game, right? She'll be busy keeping an eye on her sister…
Child Emperor was wondering why on the planet he'd agreed to come to this stupid theme park. Supposedly, there'd been a monster sighting, but everywhere he looked he hadn't found any kind of evidence to prove that claim. So now he was just mulling around uselessly, debating whether to do one last check up or leave.
That was when he saw a familiar face, mulling by the hotdog stand.
"What the…" The child prodigy made his way over to the stand. "Deputy? From IRIS?"
Deputy screamed, almost falling over. The lanky teen was wearing a faded pink t-shirt and oversized jeans, as well as sparkly sneakers that were about 20 years out of fashion.
"Why are you here?" Child Emperor asked, suspiciously. "You're supposed to be in jail!"
"P… Please don't kill me…" Deputy said, taking a step backwards. He almost crashed into the hotdog stand.
Child Emperor sighed, pulling out his phone. "I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to take you back to jail."
"W-Wait, please don't!" Deputy pleaded. "I... I'm a good guy now! Which means, I don't have to go back to jail!"
Child Emperor stared at him, blankly. "Yeah... that's what all criminals say."
"I'm not a criminal!" Deputy insisted. "Just give me a chance! I can be... an asset to the Hero Association!"
Child Emperor cocked an eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"Yeah!" Deputy jumped up. "I... I'll show you!"
Genos was proudly following his master. They had just won a carnival game, and Saitama was wielding a plush duck. What he was going to do with it, God knows, but he was very proud of himself for winning a carnival game that only cost 200 yen to play.
"Master, look," Genos pointed at another carnival game. "You most likely will be very good at that game."
It was a stereotypical 'test your strength' game. If you were strong enough, according to the game, you would receive a prize.
"Looks like fun," Saitama agreed. He and Genos walked over to the game.
"Don't even bother, fellas," said a random guy standing in front of the game. "Ya don't have a chance."
"I doubt that," Genos replied. "My master is very powerful."
The guy laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd heard all day. "Oh, buddy. Love your confidence but it ain't gonna win the game."
Genos nodded at Saitama.
"Sure," Saitama shrugged. "Let's do this thing."
Back to Badd and the girls, after a stupid long wait they finally got to go on the ride. Badd put his bat down in a bush before heading onto the ride alongside his sister and her friend. He sat down beside his sister and a smelly guy. Geez, that guy really needed to use deodorant…
"This is gonna be awesome!" Zenko exclaimed.
"I know!" Poppy agreed.
Badd hoped the ride would be over soon. He was going to flip if he had to sit next to the guy for much longer.
The ride started up, and began spinning around and around. Zenko and Poppy cheered with glee, while Badd began feeling seasick.
"THIS IS THE BEST RIDE EVER!" the girls screamed.
Kill me... Badd thought.
It went on for a while, before finally coming to a close after an agonising few minutes. Badd couldn't be more relieved. His stomach was churning and that smelly guy wasn't making it any better.
"That was so fun!" Zenko squealed. "Let's do it again!"
"Again!" Poppy agreed.
"Again!" They both chanted. "Again!"
Badd groaned. He wanted to die.
The trio got off the ride, the girls still full of beans. Badd sighed. Thank God that's over. Hope the next one ain't that bad. Well... at least it can't get worse...
Still breathing deeply, Badd went over to the bush. And right there, his previous thought was proven wrong.
"Where the fuck is my bat?!"
"What do you mean I'm not tall enough?!"
The employee backed away nervously as Tatsumaki stared him down from her spot in the air, hands on hips. He bumped into the fence surrounding the roller coaster.
"I'm s-sorry, ma'am," he apologised, teeth chattering. "B-But you have to be above a certain height limit to go on this ride."
"Don't you know who I am?!" Tatsumkai demanded. "I'm not some little kid! I'm a Class S hero! I should be allowed on any ride I want!"
"I'm only stating t-the park regulations," the employee stammered. "It's… it's for your safety…"
Tatsumaki looked like she was about to let him have it, but once again, her sister stepped in.
"It says on the regulations that someone who is not above the height limit can go on the ride with someone who is," Fubuki said. "Is that correct?"
"Y-Yes it is," the employee answered.
"Very well," Fubuki turned to her big sister. "I'll go on this ride with you."
"Good!" Tatsumaki huffed. "Let's get on it right now!"
"B-but m-miss…" the employee raised a meek hand. "You have to wait in the queue…"
Tatsumaki glared at him.
"Never mind, just get on…" he said, voice breaking. As Fubuki prepared to get onto the roller coaster with her sister, she wondered where Lily had run off to.
"Home run!"
Lily raised her arms in victory as she completed her final home run. She lowered the metal bat she was holding. Wow! The game had taken longer than she thought it would. Still, it was plenty of fun. Now just to return the metal bat to its rightful owner.
"Who the Hell stole my bat?!"
"Bro, calm down!"
Lily immediately lost all confidence as a furious Metal Bat walked around and harassed various people about his missing bat. She didn't mean to steal it, of course, she just wanted to borrow it to play the game! They were all out of baseball bats, so she had to use her 'own'. As soon as the game was finished she'd give it back. But now that Badd looked so mad, she suddenly didn't feel like it anymore.
Talking to him while he was 'calm' was hard enough. She definitely did not want to approach him while he was angry. He nearly destroyed her after he learned about that time she took Zenko for a motorbike ride. So instead, Lily decided to forget about it and just hand the bat into the lost and found employees. Eventually, Metal Bat would ask them for assistance, and they'd give it back to him. Flawless!
What was not so flawless was Deputy's constant shaking.
"You need to calm down, or I can't take you seriously," Child Emperor told him. "And then you'll go to jail."
Deputy's eyes welled up. "Okay okay! L-Look, I came here because I think that's what normal people do… I guess… I never wanted to hurt anyone, I swear!"
"Well, you got that right," the Class S hero muttered. "Wait… 'normal'. What do you mean by that?"
"I don't know," Deputy admitted. "I've always been kind of a shut-in. I… I haven't even been to school since I was really young…" He sighed. "Before he was incarcerated, Ohcysp told me I should do something with my life… I didn't know what though, since I don't have a life without him… and then I got incarcerated myself..."
"Sad, and I'm sorry for you, but you're still a criminal," Child Emperor told him. "I want you to show me proof that you can be an asset to the Hero Association."
Deputy whimpered. "Well, I can help you track other criminals... especially cyber criminals."
"That's true," Child Emperor agreed. He stared at Deputy. He seemed to be so nervous and frail he couldn't imagine him ever hurting anyone. Not to mention, he was only blinding following Ohcysp...
"You were only listening to your boss, weren't you?" Child Emperor grumbled. "Damn adults. I think that guy was manipulating you."
"What?" Deputy stammered.
Child Emperor grimaced. "You know what? Maybe... maybe I'll give you a chance."
"What the Hell?! I can't believe it!"
Genos couldn't help but feel smug as his sensei put down the hammer. He'd literally destroyed the carnival game with one swing.
"Well, that was easy," Saitama said. He turned to the bewildered employee, who was midway between having a heart attack and passing out.
"Where's my prize?" Saitama asked.
The employee screamed and ran away.
"What's his problem?" Saitama asked.
Genos frowned. "Should I go after him?"
"Nah, don't worry about it," Saitama said. "Let's go get some candy floss or something."
Back to Badd and the girls, again. The S Class Hero had interrogated a ridiculous amount of people, and unfortunately they'd seen nothing.
"We'll find it," Zenko told her angry brother. "It's gotta be somewhere!"
Lily walked up to the trio, sweating profusely for an unknown reason.
"Hello," she said, cheerful. Maybe a little too cheerful. "What's wrong?"
"My bat's gone missin'," Badd answered, scowling. "You seen it anywhere?"
Lily looked away, cheeks flushed. "Uh, nope!"
Poppy frowned, suspiciously. "Hmm…"
"Have you gone to the lost and found booth?" Lily asked. "It's at the centre of the theme park."
"Wait, that's a thing?" Badd asked. "What the Hell?! Never heard of it!"
Zenko face-palmed. "Not as if it's on the big sign over there…"
"C'mon," Badd said. "We gotta go there right now!"
A few minutes later, the group was at the lost and found booth. Luckily, there wasn't a queue for once. Badd walked up to the employee, who gave him a friendly smile.
"How can I help you?" she asked.
"Lookin' for a metal bat," Badd answered. "You got one here?"
"Hold on," the employee said. She walked away for a few moments, before returning, holding up Badd's bat.
"Is this it?" she asked.
"Yep," he agreed. "Thanks."
He took the bat back, a grin resurfacing on his face. Meanwhile, Poppy had a curious frown on her face.
"Excuse me," she faced the employee, "but where did you get the bat from?"
"Someone handed it in," the employee answered. "In fact, it was that girl over there! The one with the flower in her hair."
Lily almost choked on her own saliva as three pairs of eyes turned on her.
"Oh wow," she spluttered. "L-Look at the time! I need to, uh, go now! Bye!"
She raced off at top speed.
"What the Hell…" Badd muttered.
"I knew she was acting suspicious," Poppy shook her head.
"Do you even know how to drive?"
Deputy shyly stared down at the dodgem car.
"N-No," he admitted. "I've never driven anything, ever."
Child Emperor sighed, still in disbelief over the situation. "Then I'm driving. Get in."
Deputy sat next to the young hero, bringing his knees to his chest.
"You're not supposed to sit like that," the kid told him. "Put your knees down."
Deputy slowly put his knees down. His breathing seemed to waver again.
"Have you ever even been in a car?" Child Emperor asked.
"Y-Yeah," Deputy answered. "Last time was… um, 5 years ago?"
"Man, you really are a shut-in, aren't you?" the kid asked.
Deputy blushed. "Sorry…"
Child Emperor sighed, again. He'd lost track of how many times he'd sighed. Still, someone needed to re-introduce Deputy to society, and he was the only willing volunteer to do so.
"Once this ride is finished, I really need to teach you about the world," he said. "How about we start with dodgem cars?"
"Uh… sure…" Deputy said.
Child Emperor stood up. "Then get up. You're the driver now."
Fubuki was completely finished with roller coasters. And candy apples, for that matter. She was pretty sure her sister had bought the entire stall's worth. Plus, she had no idea where Lily had run off to.
"Tatsumaki," she approached her sister, who was chowing down on a candy apple, "do you know where Lily went?"
"How should I know where your little groupies hang out?" Tatsumkai grumbled.
Fubuki sighed. "Excuse me for a moment." She walked to the side, and pulled out her phone. She dialed Lily.
"Hello?" Lily picked up.
"Lily," Fubuki questioned, "where are you?"
"Um…" Lily's voiced lowered a few decibels. "In the toilet, Miss Blizzard."
"Oh," Fubuki coughed. "Well, I-"
"I'm not peeing or anything!" Lily stammered. "I'm just… um. Nevermind. Can we go home?"
"I wish we could," Fubuki massaged her forehead, "but my sister wants to stay a bit longer. Plus, what about Poppy?"
"Poppy's with Metal Bat and Zenko," Lily answered.
"Right," Fubuki said. "I recommend that you form a romantic relationship with Metal Bat, by the way. The Blizzard Group could use a Class S hero."
Lily sounded like she was choking. "M-M-Miss Blizzard! I-It's not like that!"
Fubuki smiled. "I'm sure, Lily. Please don't run off on me again. I can't keep an eye on you that way."
"Sorry, Miss Blizzard," Lily whimpered.
"Yes, yes, I know, dear," Fubuki said. "My sister and I are in the food court. Please come by as soon as you can."
"Okay," Lily replied. "Bye bye!"
She hung up after that. She collapsed onto the toilet seat, sighing. She'd been in there for at least 20 minutes, and she showed no signs of leaving anytime soon. She felt like a coward once again. She just couldn't handle being near… him again. Sure, she could handle being around demon-threat monsters, but not him. The thought made her feel stupid. What kind of hero was she?
Someone knocked on the door, making her jump. "Excuse me? We've had reports that this stall has been locked for over twenty minutes. Is everything okay in there?"
"U-Uh, Yeah!" Lily replied. "So sorry! I'll come out now!"
She opened the door, revealing a security guard and some impatient theme-park-goers. Lily gave them all a sheepish smile before moving on, staff in hand.
She sighed. She couldn't keep procrastinating. She had to be the big sister Poppy always wanted her to be.
She pulled out her phone and dialed her younger sister, ignoring all the missed calls from said sister.
"Lily!" Poppy yelled. "Where have you been?"
"Um, nowhere," Lily lied. "Where are you?"
"Food court," Poppy answered. "Get over here!"
"Right, right," Lily said. "C-Coming. See you there…"
Lily found it convenient that her sister and her boss happened to be in the same place. Or inconvenient… oh well. At least it wasn't too far away.
"This was a mistake."
Child Emperor sighed at the flipped over dodgem car. Smoke trailed into the air, various people filming the event on their phones. Deputy was bright red, trying and failing to hide his burning face.
"You really are out of the loop," the kid told Deputy. "Next time, we're meeting at a school."
"School…" Deputy whimpered.
"It'll be fine," Child Emperor shrugged. "They have computers there."
Deputy's face lit up. "Oh, okay!"
"Hey!" Some security guards ran over to the two. "You're gonna pay for that!"
"Put it on the Hero Association's tab," Child Emperor told them. He turned to Deputy. "Come on. Let's go."
The skinny teen anxiously followed him, lip trembling. He seemed to relax when they got further away from the crowds.
"Hey, um…" Deputy cleared his throat. "Thanks."
"For what?" Child Emperor asked.
"For being nice to me," Deputy answered. "The only person that was ever nice to me was Ohcysp. My own parents threw me out when I was a kid, and Ohcysp took me in. He… he gave me a life. But… I didn't realise he was a criminal. I never wanted to be a criminal, I just wanted to be…"
Child Emperor dug his hands into his pockets. "I get it. Adults are the worst. But you… maybe you're not so bad. You're just kind of a shut-in."
Deputy blushed. "Y-Yeah, I guess so…"
The teen tried to smile. The hero sighed, deeply.
"You'll be fine," he said. "You just need to learn." He gave Deputy a smile of his own. "How about we go and get some ice-cream at the food court?"
"Why are you still here?!"
"I'm allowed to be here, punk!"
Badd and Tatsumaki were fighting once again. Zenko sighed, forcibly dragging her brother away before Tatsumaki threw him into the popcorn stand. Poppy kept an eye out for her sister, who was either fashionably late or having another panic attack.
"Hey, look!" Zenko chirped. "It's Saitama!"
Saitama and Genos were standing beside the fairy floss stand, eating some of the said candy. Saitama had got floss up his nose, and Genos was helping him remove it.
"Not again," Badd grunted.
"And Child Emperor is over there," Poppy commented, spotting the hero in question.
"Wait…" Zenko frowned. "I recognise that guy next to him! He's one of the guys from IRIS!"
"IRIS?" Badd asked, turning around. "You mean that criminal group? The Hell are they doin' here?!"
"Oh look, it's my sister," Poppy commented, in a monotone. "Convenient how all these people are showing up at once."
A flushed Lily was sneaking her way over to Fubuki, who was offering her sister another candy apple.
"HI LILY!" Poppy yelled, loud as she could. "DID YOU HAVE FUN WITH METAL BAT'S BAT?"
Lily looked like she wanted to die.
"Wait, Metal Bat's here?" Child Emperor asked, looking up from his ice-cream. "And… is that Demon Cyborg? And Tornado? Why are there so many S Class heroes here?"
"Pretty sure I saw that King guy before, too…" Deputy muttered. "He was watching a hentai…"
"Why'd you steal my bat?" Badd asked Lily, glaring at her.
"Well, I didn't steal it," she giggled, nervously. "I borrowed it without your permission…"
Poppy face-palmed.
"Master," Genos turned to Saitama. "For some reason, there are three other S Class heroes here."
"Huh," Saitama shrugged. "This theme park must be pretty popular."
"Lily, did you really steal Metal Bat's bat?" Fubuki asked her assistant.
Lily was on the ground now. "M-Maybe…"
Tatsumaki rolled her eyes. "Who cares? It's just a stupid bat."
"How 'bout I use it to bust yer head open?" Badd asked her, grounding his teeth.
"Big brother," Zenko grabbed his arm, "don't."
Poppy was giggling into her hand.
"Oh no," Deputy turned pale, attempting to hide behind Child Emperor. "It's that Metal Bat guy… I can't handle him."
"Trust me," Child Emperor deadpanned, "you're not alone there."
"Why are you here?" Genos asked Tatsumaki and Metal Bat, arms crossed.
"You too?" Badd snapped. "Ya wanna go, cyborg sucker?"
"I am not here to fight," Genos replied. "I am merely curious."
Tatsumaki glowered at him. "None of your business, bolt brain!"
Man, Saitama thought. Why are S Class heroes so aggressive with each other?
Lily hid behind Fubuki. She really wished she could go home.
"Was King really watching hentai?" Child Emperor asked.
Deputy blushed. "I don't know… it looked like it."
The kid frowned. "No way someone like him would be watching that stuff. You probably saw someone else that just looked like him. Though, why they would allow someone to watch hentai in public, I really don't know."
"Child Emperor is over there too," Fubuki spoke up.
"Are you kidding me?" Tatsumaki snapped. "This is MY day! All of you should go home!"
"You don't own this theme park!" Badd roared.
"Come on guys," Child Emperor held up his hands. "Enough of this. We don't want to accidentally destroy this place."
"I wanna go home..." Lily whimpered.
"Aren't ya that guy from IRIS?" Metal Bat asked Deputy.
Deputy tried to hide behind Child Emperor, which was so pathetic it was hilarious.
"Man, this place is a rip-off," Saitama said. "That floss was way too expensive! Genos, we should go to the supermarket near my apartment."
"You as well, Baldy?" Tatsumaki raged. "Get lost, you egghead! Bald! Boiled egg!"
"I actually want to go home," Lily muttered.
"Me too," agreed a person that climbed out of a trash can.
Meanwhile, King actually was watching hentai... because, well, it's a fanfiction. Just accept it.
A/N: This is probably the most chaotic chapter I've ever written... but I had fun with it lol.