Dimitri's POV – 3 days later, (5 days after rescue)

Rose was being released from the hospital today, finally. After a few days of examinations and tests, and of me being isolated outside the door, she was finally able to come home. I could not describe how elated I was when I was told she had agreed to come home. She still had yet to even look at me, but the fact that she agreed to come back with me to our apartment was a step in the right direction. It meant that she felt as though she could be around me without freaking out, without being so terrified to the point that she had a panic attack. I knew that she had long way to go, we all did, but this small step was heart-warming.

The positive feeling was much appreciated, especially after the sadness I was feeling at being separated from Rose. A day or so after she woke up for the second time, I was truly worried that Rose might be too far gone, that because I had been unable to keep her safe, she resented me and blamed me for her traumatic ordeal. I was petrified that she wouldn't accept me back into her life - that she wouldn't allow me to love and look after her as I so desperately needed to.

A few kind words from none other than Adrian was all it took for me to keep holding on to my hope that everything would be okay - that I would be able to spend the rest of my life making up for letting Rose down, showing her that I would always lay down my life for hers.

Flashback

As I sat in my usual spot outside Rose's hospital room, her nurse scurried past and let herself through the door. Not thirty seconds later, Adrian emerged and made his way over to me, taking the seat next to mine.

"Hey man," he greeted.

"Adrian."

"The nurse is just running some tests - I thought it was best I left the room. How are you holding up?" he asked. I could feel his eyes on me as I sat hunched forward, with my elbows on my knees.

"Not great," I admitted. It didn't matter how I was right now – all that mattered was her. "How is she?"

"A bit better, more talkative," he told me sincerely. "She still on edge though, every time the door opens she jumps."

My Roza. She was hurting so badly. We were all here to help her, yet all she could see was terror.

"I need to see her," I said, letting out a shaky breath. I ran a hand through my loose hair and sat back in my seat to face Adrian. It had been five days since we found Rose - three days since her freak out and my 'banishment' from her bedside - and I was beginning to feel restless, useless, dejected… I needed to see for myself that she was okay. I needed to be with her. I needed to tell her I was sorry, and that I loved her.

"I know," Adrian acknowledged, recognising my desperation. "She needs to see you too - she just hasn't realised it."

"When do you think I could see her without upsetting her?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "I can't work out if she's afraid, or just worried about what you think of her."

"Afraid?" I questioned, the confusion and horror clear in my tone. "She doesn't need to be afraid of me, I would never hurt her – she knows that."

"I know she does, but right now I don't think she's thinking rationally. She's displacing her trauma and her fear of Nathan and what he did onto you."

"I want to help her. I need her to know that I still love her." I slumped forward in my seat once more, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. "I don't blame her for what happened."

It wasn't Rose's fault. None of this was Rose's fault.

"She's still processing everything," Adrian told me as he rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. "But I know that she loves you. She just needs time."

It was comforting talking to Adrian. Despite everything that had happened, and despite the unspoken issues between us, we had one common goal: Rose's happiness. I knew that he loved Rose, maybe not in the way he used to, but in the way that he still cared for her and would do anything to protect her. I saw it when he first found out she was missing. The anger he showed towards me at that moment in time was powerful. He wanted Rose to be happy, and that meant giving up on his love for her to allow her to be with me – to be happy. And he trusted me to protect her, to which I failed. After all of this, he still believed that Rose was meant for me, and he needed to make nice with me in order to aid her happiness. He knew deep down that Rose needed me and I needed her, so it was comforting to talk to him and hear him say that she still loved me. If anybody knew Rose, besides me, it was him – I knew his words held truth.

I just needed to give Rose time. She had been through so much horror, so much pain; of course she was going to be scared. Of course she wouldn't be herself. But I knew that, in time, she would be. With Adrian's help, my help, Vasilisa's help… she would be okay. But she needed to reach that place where she could accept our help, and that meant giving her time to process everything.

I hoped that being back in her own home, in her own space, Rose would begin to move forward and feel safer. I was curious, however, as to how she would react with me being in such close proximity. I would do anything to make sure she was comfortable and happy, but I couldn't bare it if she felt frightened in her own home because of me.

I sat waiting outside of the hospital room, worrying as usual about Rose, when eventually I heard footsteps on the other side of the door, heading towards my direction. The door edged open and I could feel my heart soar as soon as I laid my eyes on Rose, before aching in grief when she wouldn't meet my gaze. She stared down at the floor, her hand clutching Adrian's elbow so tightly it was as if she thought he would disappear if she let go.

Adrian offered me a sympathetic look, before leading Rose down the corridor in the direction of the hospital exit. I stood dumfounded for a moment, before turning and following behind them. I couldn't help the stab of jealousy I felt as I watched my love walk away from me, with another man's arm wrapped around her. I knew completely that it was nothing more than the provision of comfort from a friend, but it hurt to know that it wasn't me to be the one to help her and make her feel safe.

After making our way outside, we walked in silence along the empty streets as the three of us made our way back home. To our home…

I could sense the anxiety radiating from Rose as she walked, and I knew she was feeling uncomfortable being around me. Fortunately, at five o'clock, it was very early in the Moroi day and Court was quiet, meaning we wouldn't pass too many people. I hoped that Rose took comfort in that fact.

Reluctantly though, I kept my distance, staying five or so feet behind her as she walked beside Adrian. I couldn't stop myself feeling like their Guardian, the silent presence behind them, rather than her boyfriend - her partner, her safety net. And it killed me.

Watching her intently as we headed in the direction of our apartment building, I couldn't help but appreciate her beauty. Even after the weeks of torment and damage to her body, she still looked gorgeous, the golden rays of the sunset reflecting off her dark locks of hair – hair that I so desperately wanted to reach out and touch – causing them to glow a wonderful shade of brown.

I felt so incredibly lucky to have someone as wonderful as her in my life, so grateful at the fact I could call her mine – she was so strong-willed, so resilient. Powerful. Despite everything that she had been through, she survived. With no help from anyone, she got herself out of her torture. She saved herself, and I was indescribably proud.

The silence continued as we reached our building and climbed the stairs, even as Adrian pulled Rose to the side in order to let me pass and unlock the door to our apartment. I tried to catch Rose's eye as I retrieved my keys from the pocket of the duster, but she still had her gaze fixed to the floor, refusing to look up and in my direction.

With a sigh, I turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open before walking inside and dropping my keys on the countertop.

"Home sweet home…"

I hoped Rose would relax slightly once she was in a familiar, comforting environment but, still without uttering a word, she swiftly let go of Adrian's arm and hurried into the bedroom, promptly shutting the door behind her. The sound of the lock turning shortly followed, and I could do nothing but stare after her helplessly. Instinctively, I ran a hand through my hair in desperation, unsure how to respond. Did I try and reach out to her? Leave her to herself for a while until she was ready to talk?

"Remember what I said," Adrian broke the silence, answering my unspoken questions as he appeared beside where I stood staring at the bedroom door. "Just give her time. Be there for her when she realises she needs you."

"Thank you, Adrian," I said with a sad smile.

"What for?"

"For – I don't know. You're always there for her, even though she – we – hurt you."

"I want her to be happy," he shrugged before shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "She's happy with you. You're the one she belongs with."

"I just wish she would talk to me," I sighed. Leaning my elbows on the counter in front of me, I took a calming breath in an effort to collect myself. "Feel free to stay," I offered. "I'm sure she'd be happier knowing you're here."

"It's okay - I should head home myself… I'm sure she'll be fine, you know. As I said, just give her space," he said, before heading to the front door.

"Adrian?" I asked, stopping him just as he reached for the handle. "I'm sure she'd feel better if you were here. The door's always open."

He nodded. "I'll come and see how she is tomorrow."

The Next Day

Rose didn't venture out of our bedroom for the entire day, choosing to stay behind the safety of the locked door. Even the offer of food didn't tempt her, and I spent the day pacing with worry, unsure of what I should be doing to help her. When night came, and I hadn't had any indication that she was even in the bedroom, I began to worry even more. Desperate for any kind of response, I stood outside the door, begging for any sort of reply so that I knew she was okay. I almost resorted to breaking the door down, until I finally heard a small croak of "I'm fine."

It wasn't much, and in all honestly only made me worry more – but it was enough to tell me that she was here, she was alive. She was back in her own home.

Unsurprisingly, I didn't sleep well on the sofa, and I was unable to sleep for most of the night. My mind was constantly worrying and listening out for Rose, but she didn't make a sound. I couldn't help but recollect the nights a few months back, when I was willingly sleeping out on the sofa because I was so afraid of hurting her. I almost longed for those nights now, instead of sleeping out here because she had been hurt, and because she was afraid.

Unable to get into the bedroom to change, I took a quick shower before dressing in the same clothes as the day before. Having missed so many shifts with Christian, I knew I had to finally go to work, despite the fact that my heart and my mind were urging me to stay and wait for Rose to come out. Somehow, though, I knew that wouldn't happen just yet.

"Roza?" I asked through the door, waiting to see if I would get a response. When I got none, I sighed dejectedly. "I'm supposed to be on shift with Christian soon. Will you be okay?"

Silence.

"I'll be back later."

Silence.

"I love you."

"How's Rose doing?" Christian asked as we walked back from training. "Lissa's restless wanting to see her."

"I don't know, actually." I replied honestly. "She's still not talking to me. She came home yesterday and hasn't come out of the bedroom."

"Wow."

"I understand though. She's afraid."

"Yeah but, Dimitri, it's you – she loves you," Christian said, the mixture of confusion and sadness clear in his voice.

"I know. She just needs time, and I'm going to give her that. I'll give her as long as it takes."

"How do you feel about everything?" He asked as we entered through the front door, before heading into the living room.

"I don't know. I don't know what to think," I said, slumping down onto one of the sofas, as Christian sat opposite. "I had so much anger towards Nathan for taking her, and for what he did to her. But deep down I know that I was to blame for it all –"

Christian opened his mouth to protest.

"No, I know what you're going to say, so don't. It's my fault she was taken."

My fault she was hurting now…

"And when we found her again I was elated. I never wanted to let her out of my arms again, but now… Now she won't even look at me. I promised I would always look after her, protect her, help her… and I can't. She won't let me."

Seeing my despair, Christian stood up from where he sat made his way over to me, placing a comforting arm on my back as I spilled everything I was feeling. How helpless I felt, unable to comfort Rose. The guilt I felt at allowing her to be taken in the first place. The anger I felt knowing Nathan defiled her, broke her, hurt her…

"You don't have to be here you know, Dimitri. I don't need protecting in my own home – Rose does. She needs you."

With the blessing from Christian to head home to Rose, where I needed to be, I raced home – only to, unsurprisingly, find an empty apartment.

"Roza?" I called out. "I'm home."

I stopped outside the bedroom door, knocking once before waiting for a response.

It never came.

"Roza, I know you don't want to talk, but I just need to know you're okay. That you're still here," I said, leaning my shoulder against the door frame. "Rose?"

"I'm fine," she uttered, in a repeat of yesterday. I knew she was far from fine, but the knowledge that she was still here, and willing to say those two words to me –at least – was comforting. With a small, sad smile, I pushed myself off from where I leant on the door, telling her I was just outside if she needed anything before retreating once more to the sofa.

I spent a while on the phone with Mama, seeking comfort from her even with the distance between us. She had been beside herself with worry at Rose's disappearance – I knew she loved her as her own daughter. But with everything happening, I had barely had the chance to speak with her and give her updates. Now though, with Rose isolated in the bedroom, I took the opportunity to tell her everything, allowing myself to get everything I was feeling off my chest. An hour or so later and, unashamedly, many tears later, I said goodbye, feeling much happier. I decided that yes, I would give Rose time, but I couldn't let her isolate her to the point of no return. She needed to come to terms with what had happened, and in order to move forward, she needed to know that it wasn't her fault, that I didn't blame her. Adrian had said she was worried about what I thought of her, and I needed her to know that I still loved her just the same, if not more. My complete and utter terror when she was missing showed me just how much I valued her, how much she meant to me. Tomorrow, I'd do all it took to break down the barriers she was putting up around herself.

Now though, I could feel the lack of sleep taking its toll on me, and I decided that while Rose was still in the bedroom, I would try and sleep on the sofa once more.

Not two hours later, a piercing scream startled me from where I lay asleep. My heart sank in my chest and within seconds I was across the room and outside the door to our bedroom, where I could hear Rose sobbing from behind the door.

"Roza?!" I exclaimed, panicking. "Rose, what's wrong? You need to let me in."

"Please -" I heard her whimper. "Please, Nathan!"

I knew that knocking the door down would undoubtedly scare her more, but I could hear that she was hysterical – she needed someone to be there for her and comfort her. And, selfishly, I needed to be that person. Standing on the opposite side of the door listening to her scream, sob and cry was painful. Every whimper made my heart even heavier, knowing the terror she was experiencing.

Making my decision, I struck out at the door, using my shoulder to ram it open. It took a few hits to break the door from its lock, but it was no match for my strength and pure determination to get to Rose. I burst into the room as soon as the door swung open to find Rose crying into her knees, backed as far as she could into the corner of our bed.

"Roza?" I asked tentatively, slowly edging closer to her.

Her head shot up and her terrified, bloodshot eyes looked into mine - for the first time in weeks.

"Don't," she cried, trying to back even further away from me.

"Rose -"

"Adrian-" she managed to choke out in between sobs, causing my heart to snap in two. "Please, I need Adrian."

Adrian.

She needed Adrian.

She didn't need me. She was in pain – terrified – breaking down right in front of me, and she didn't need me. She needed Adrian.

I fought back the ache in my chest and the knot in my stomach as I reluctantly backed away, reaching for my phone as she continued to sob in the middle of our bed. My whole body ached and a lump formed in my throat, knowing I couldn't help her. Knowing she didn't want me to help her.

I dialled Adrian's number and held the phone to my ear, staring helplessly at the love of my life crying her eyes out in front of me. It barely rang once before he answered.

"Hello?"

"Adrian, it's Dimitri," I said, fighting back my own anguish. "Rose needs you."

"I'll be right there."

Hello everyone!

Thank you so much for sticking by me and waiting patiently for updates while I'm in the midst of Uni deadlines. It's a very stressful time and I'm barely finding the time to write simply for myself, and not just write essays for assignments! On the plus side - I'm nearly finished for this semester, so hopefully chapters will pick up again over the Christmas period.

Anyways, here's a fairly long chapter for you in the mean time.

H x