A/N: So, I am back with yet another chapter of this filth I have the audacity to say is a story. Also, For the Emperor! You'll understand why XD
Jane Arc's Yuri Harem
Summary: Jane Arc just wanted to go to Beacon and become a huntress. Becoming the object of every girl's desire was never part of the plan! Why did things have to be so complicated?
*Heresy*
Jane sighed and laid down on her bed, picking up a copy of a lewd manga she 'borrowed' from Blake earlier in the day. Today had been an absolute disaster for her. Both Raven and Qrow trolled the living shit out of her in their sparring, she nearly set a trio of transfer students on fire, and she had to bust Yang out of jail after the brawler drunkenly trashed a nightclub.
She still was not pleased with her for that stunt.
"By Oum, can today get any worse?" she muttered irritably. Her team was still out for the day, meaning she had the entire dorm to herself. As a precaution to prevent any of her harem from bursting in, she had locked the door. It was about damn time the blonde got some peace and quiet, which during her time at Beacon, she found was in a desperate shortage.
She flicked through a page and started to blush at the lewd scene before her, her cheeks tingeing a bright pink. "O-oh my…" She grabbed the manga by the covers and started to read more thoroughly, taking in every juicy little detail of the filthy smut displayed on the pages. It certainly did provide her with some ideas to try out…
Jane jumped back with a startled scream as someone wearing a ridiculous outfit burst through the wall of the dorm, scowling at her. "YOU HAVE SULLIED YOUR HANDS WITH FILTHY PARCHMENTS OF HERESY, ARC! HOW DO YOU PLEAD!?"
Jane struggled to get to her feet, trying to find the right words to get this psychopath out of her dorm. "W-what!? NO!" Strange. That voice seemed somewhat familiar…
"TOO LATE, HERETIC!" the madman roared. The next thing she knew she had slammed into the opposite wall, her massive Aura reserves taking the full brunt of the assault. She slid down the floor with a weak groan of pain, trying to call on her maiden powers to help her. Blue flames flickered at the corners of her eyes as she wobbled to her feet, prepared to blast the uninvited intruder with a dosage of his own medicine when she saw him pick up her manga.
However, before she could retaliate, General Ironwood burst through the wall. "YOU INSPIRE YOUR STUDENTS TO STUDY SUCH FOUL SMUT, OZPIN!? YOU HERETIC!" And then Ozpin soared through the wall from a blast.
The manga Jane was reading landed on Ironwood's head and Raven burst in next. "You detestable Atlesian mutants dare fill your heads with such file obscenity!? Take this heretic!" Ironwood was flung through the hole he just went through by a blast of lightning and Raven picked up the manga, waving at Jane. "Oh, hi. Hmm…maybe just a quick read…"
Qrow flew in and transformed, landing in the heap of rubble. "Sis, I need…hold on…you're a heretic!" His sword/scythe/gun thing folded down and Raven was sent through the wall by a blast from it. Qrow transformed again and flew away with an annoyed squawk, leaving the blonde knight dumbfounded as she witnessed everything. How the hell the building was still intact, she didn't know, and only one question was on her lips.
"What the hell happened here!?" someone screamed behind her. Jane groaned and massaged her temples, letting her fires disappear. Clearly someone else beat her to it, albeit with a lot less swearing.
Jane turned around to see a very cross Glynda Goodwitch stomp into the dorm and the blonde knight gulped. "Um…I can explain!" Oh Glynda was so going to have her ass in a sling for this. Even though it technically wasn't her fault, she'd get blamed for it anyway.
Glynda growled as she waded through the rubble and waved her riding crop. The holes in the walls were mended within seconds and she looked at the hentai manga Jane was reading. She picked it up and started to read, her face turning redder by the second.
"Y-you…you were reading this!?" she screeched. Uh oh.
"Um…I borrowed it from Blake!" Jane replied quickly, shuffling her feet and looking at the floor in embarrassment. "I swear!"
Glynda growled and stalked across the hall to Team RWBY's dorm, slamming the door shut behind her. A few seconds later Jane could hear Blake's wail echo through the school. "NO! MY BOOKS!"
"HERETICAL FILTH MUST BE PURGED!" Commissar Glynda Goodwitch declared. Jane could smell the smoke from the fire and wasn't surprised to hear a loud slap from the disciplinarian's riding crop, along with a pained moan from Team RWBY's secret pervert.
The blonde rubbed her aching head and plodded back over to her bed with a sigh. She was so not paid enough for this.
Yes she was aware that as a student she wasn't getting paid at all. Kind of the point. She should really talk to Ozpin about that considering she wasn't just an ordinary student despite wishing she was.
Her foot hit something metallic and she looked down to see Raven's flask lying on the floor. She picked it up and gave it a test shake to see if there was anything in it. The blonde heard the liquid sloshing about inside and she unscrewed the cap before draining it. "Fuck this."
The liquid burned the back of her throat harshly and she was half tempted to spit it out, but she steeled herself and swallowed every last bit of it. The flask fell from her hands and she felt her headache start to disappear. 'Huh…I can start to see why Qrow and Raven drink as much as they do. It certainly does make things a lot more tolerable.'
Jane stumbled to her bed and pulled the covers over her. She was going back to bed after what she witnessed. All of this carnage over a simple book. How the hell did Ozpin even know that quickly that she was reading a hentai manga? Did he have secret cameras installed in the room that she didn't know about or something? It didn't make any sense!
To be fair, nothing at this goddamned school made any sense.
She was about to close her eyes and go back to sleep when her scroll buzzed under her pillow. With a weary and slightly intoxicated groan she pulled it out to see that her mother was calling her. Oh. Right.
Jane put it to her ear and prayed to God that she didn't sound drunk. "Hello?"
"Jane! Oh thank goodness, I had been calling for the past five minutes! When you didn't answer I was starting to get worried!" her mother fretted. Jane looked and saw she indeed had seven missed calls from her mother. Oops. In all fairness, no one would be able to hear a scroll going off during the whole chaos that had erupted only moments before. So much destruction in such a short time span.
"Yeah, sorry…" Jane hiccupped, her breath reeking of whiskey. "So, uh, what's up? Is the house on fire or something?"
"No not yet. Jade and Jenna have been causing chaos though. It's only a matter of time I suppose." Her mother sighed. "But you said you wanted to talk about your semblance in your last message to me."
'Oh crap. I forgot about that. I'm too young to deal with these kind of memory lapses.' Jane brushed a few strands of hair aside and sat up fully. "Yeah, I did. Um…I think I figured it out. It took a bit, but I'm pretty sure I know what it is."
"Oh?"
"…I turn every girl into a lesbian."
"Pfffffft!" Her mother spat out whatever liquid she was drinking (Jane assumed it was coffee) and started to laugh. "H-how did you come to that conclusion of all things!?"
"When I have five other girls swooning after me that I'm aware of and who knows how many others who just haven't acted on it, you tend to think that's the case," Jane answered dryly. She at least thought it was that. What the hell else could it be?
"Oh Jane. Your semblance is not that, rest assured." Her mother giggled. "No, rather it's the same as mine. It's called 'Lovestruck'."
"…huh?" Jane stopped and nearly dropped her scroll. "Wait, what do you mean, 'Lovestruck'? That sounds really terrible…"
"Oh trust me, I think it does too. Sadly, I am not the one responsible for coming up with that name," the older Arc said with a sigh. "A certain blond idiot came up with it because he thought it would be amusing. Pretty sure he was drunk when he said it. Or under the influence of something. Definitely wasn't sober."
"…you're not talking about Dad, are you?" Jane groaned and rubbed her temples. Okay, maybe drinking whiskey before talking on the phone with her mother was a bad idea in hindsight. She was pretty sure that her mother could tell that she was slurring her words a little even if she didn't notice it herself.
"No dear, I'm not. But your semblance causing antics aside, how have things been at Beacon?" she asked.
"Good. Currently third in our year." Jane was rather proud of being able to hang with both the Invincible Girl and Yang without having to use her maiden powers. Her swordsmanship could be a little bit better, but her shield work was phenomenal. It rivaled Pyrrha's own. The only real difference was the fact that Pyrrha's semblance allowed her to pull of remarkable stunts with it, whereas Jane had to rely more on technique. It also didn't help that Pyrrha's weapon could shift into both a spear and a rifle if needed. So far, she could last for about five minutes against her partner, better than Yang or Ruby.
"Third? Who are you behind?"
"Pyrrha Nikos and Yang Xiao Long." Jane purposely left out the part that she was romantically involved with both of them. She did not want to hear any teasing from her mother. She got enough of that from Raven on a daily basis.
"Xiao Long? Oh, that name rings a bell. She must be Taiyang's daughter. Does she like to punch things?" By Oum Jane could hear the smirking.
"Yep…first time I went against her she punched me through a freaking wall," Jane answered dryly. "My other classes have been good though. It would help if Raven wasn't as big of a pain in the ass as she is, but I can't complain."
"Raven? Raven Branwen? Oh my…that brings up very fond memories."
"Spare me the details of you two having sex. She teases me enough about being able to boast about something no one else in the school has done." The maiden rubbed her temples.
"Do I hear a potentially scandalous story about my daughter and one of my old friends?"
"Yes…"
"Ha! My baby girl is all grown up now! This deserves a book!"
"Do not encourage that. Raven might overhear you and actually write it."
"Wouldn't surprise me." Her mother laughed. "So, any other news I should be made aware of? Apart from you following in my footsteps and making yourself a nice little harem?"
"How did you even know!?" Jane was blushing furiously.
"Raven," came the amused reply.
Jane groaned and let her head fall into her pillow. Yep, she totally should've expected that Raven would boast to her mother about Jane being Beacon's resident harem queen. It was less surprising than she'd like. "Goddammit Raven! You gossipy bitch!"
"You know it~." Raven poked her head in, her hair slightly disheveled from being blasted through the wall earlier by Qrow. "Hi Sophitia. You know, you can take me up on the offer whenever you like~. I can assure you Jane's learned an awful lot~."
"RAVEN!" Jane's face was redder than a tomato and she raised her hand. A bolt of lightning fired from her fingertips and Raven ducked under it, sticking her tongue out to tease her. "Goddammit! Why the hell are you even here!?"
"Oh, I just left my flask in here," Raven replied innocently. She let out a cheer when she saw it lying on Jane's bedside table, only to frown when she found it was empty. "Huh? Why is it empty…?"
Jane felt the sweatdrop roll down her head and she let out a nervous chuckle. "Hey, uh, Mom? Can I call you back in say…twenty minutes?"
"Of course dear. You're always welcome to call home." Her mother hung up and Jane stashed her scroll under her pillow as Raven towered over her.
"Arc. Why. Is. My. Fucking. Flask. Empty." Her red eyes narrowed and Jane promptly fell out of her bed like a sack of potatoes.
"Um…do you want the truth or a bullshit story?" she tried.
WHIP CRACK!
Jane wasn't sure whether to be terrified or aroused, but as the whip wrapped around her neck she settled for both.
A/N: *Lovestruck continues to look for 'Sorry' in his wallet. Items still not found.*
And that's it for this latest chapter of heresy. I am aiming on finishing this sometime this year, hence the update today, and I think I can do it by summer if I actually put my mind to it. I sure as fuck hope so…it'll be a lot easier on me to get something done.
A Lovestruck A2#5371