"And since yesterday the reviews I have written won't show up at the stories and for the authors." I just scrolled down and apparently they're displaying now. I've actually seen this happen in the past so I'm not surprised. But its still an annoyance.
"A very important chapter." Yeah, this one was kind of short but to the point. Azula needed to know her options. "I love the contrast you've created with this one here compared to her first appointment." Exactly, in this one, Azula has more control. It makes a very profound difference for her to know that she has the power this time around. And for it, Dr. Guhira is willing to operate again if she wants that.
"I really love how he offers full support at the lawsuit no matter if Azula would do any surgery at his clinic or not." He's a good guy, the sort of man who genuinely cares about the comfort and safety of his patients. "And he takes time to explain what he could do for her and how much time it would take in case she would consider to agree to some of these things." He likes them to know what they are in for and alleviate fear. And this time around he gets to talk directly to her instead of Ozai. "Azula has grown so much at her fate," It was a very rude awakening but one that she needed. A thing to kickstart her growth as a person."You're doing an really amazing job with this one here. Wonderful and comforting chapter for Azula and for me, keep on having fun with your stories." And thank you again, this story has been a lot of fun to write. Though I think that it's drawing to its natural conclusion.
Azula's festival dress is form fitting and reaches just above her knees with a hem lined with a shimmery fringe of electric blue. Well aware that much of the festival and viewing party will take place outside, she finds herself the custom leggings that match the complexion of her skin. She slips them on and goes to fetch her necklace. She isn't sure that she needs a necklace at all. The collar of her dress is eye-catching enough with its line of glimmering rubies. The entirety of the dress is adorned with many zigzagging fingers of that same electric blue. It starkly contrasts the bright red silk of the dress and glitters in the light.
She wears her hair up and spices it up with blue and red glitter. It is slightly curled. Her mother has worked the better part of the evening to style it for her before wandering off to check on Zuko-who, with the help of their father, should be in his tux.
She hasn't yet seen her entire ensemble, but assumes that it suits her better than her homecoming dress did and she is glad that she hadn't wasted wearing it then.
Azula closes stands before the mirror for a very long time with her eyes closed. The skin beneath her fingers is still so rough and somewhat lumpy. It alleviates her nervous anticipation none.
She lets a few more moments pass her by before she opens her eyes. She both wishes she hadn't and wishes that she had done it sooner. She wishes mostly, that she would have looked at herself earlier, that she would have given herself time to get used to the damage dealt. Most of the scar tissue is gathered on her cheek left cheek; a long and thin raised line where the blade had once dragged. In some places there are still lumps. Small lumps, but bumps sizable enough to be noticed with ease. Strangely contrasting the lumps, that cheek is sunken. Far too thin. Thin enough to make her look almost malnourished.
Though the scar tissue is less on the right side of her face, she thinks that, that side looks profoundly more horrific. It is just as thin, perhaps moreso, and makes her wish that she still had her babyfat. At least then she had looked healthy. She considers for the first time, and all too late, that the puffiness that she had hated so much was perfectly natural.
Movement on that side is still terribly limited, rendering that half of her face slack. It is that slackness that seems to create the lack of symmetry.
Azula's stomach lurches, she never did like asymmetry, it always made her headache. It instilled within her this unbearable desire to recreate the symmetry and her head would throb until she did. But, God, she can't create symmetry on her face.
She wraps her arms around herself, leans against the wall, and slides to the floor. She had expected to dislike her new face, but she hadn't expected it to make her feel physically sick. She lets out a small, gasping sob.
She should have waited until after the festival to ruin her night.
She feels queasy and anxious and suddenly it seems like a trick or a joke that Katara wants to spend any time with her, much less take her on a first date to a festival.
"Azula!" She hears her mother shout. She tries to pacify herself. "Katara is here."
She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and stands up, her stance is unsteady and somewhat weak as she makes her way towards the door. By the time she reaches the staircase, Katara is already halfway up it. She greets Azula with a bright smile, those big blue eyes seeming to sparkle under the chandelier's light. Her dress is more practical with long sleeves and a long train, made of navy blue velvet. It is simpler than Azula's own having only a few faux diamonds at the neckline and a trim of fake white fur on the sleeves and at the hem. Still, the dress is lovely and it fits her better than any excess glitz could ever.
She wears her hair down in deep brown waves. Thin strands of her bangs are held back with two small, pearl hair combs. A few more pearls are weaved into her hair, Azula can't tell if they are genuine.
"Hi Azula. You look nice tonight."
Azula doesn't believe that, not for a second. But she believes that Katara does and she says as much.
"Are you ready to go?" Katara asks.
"I need to put some makeup on."
She must sound terribly glum. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Azula insists.
"Let me help you with your makeup?
Azula nods. "I hope that you're amazingly skilled with makeup because…"
"I promise, it won't take that much makeup to make you look beautiful." She takes a limp Azula into a hug. Her head hangs over Katara's shoulder as the girl rubs her back.
"You can say what you really think." Azula informs softly. "I already know…"
"I am saying what I really think." Katara holds her ground. "That dress looks nice on you."
"It would look nicer on someone who has a flattering face to go with it." She folds her arms over her chest.
Katara's expression darkens and that enthusiastic glimmer in her eyes is gone. "I thought that you were done with that…"
"Yes. But then I actually saw what it looked like."
Katara's eyes go momentarily wide. "You mean that tonight is the first time you've seen your face since the surgery?"
Azula gives a slow and forlorn nod.
"Oh, Azula." She almost sounds like her mother. "What are we going to do with you?" She adds a small and sad laugh.
"Fix my face?" Azula mumbles. "It's gross."
Katara takes her by the shoulders and moves her so that she can look into her eyes. "I don't want to change you, Azula. I don't have any trouble looking at your face. Sokka doesn't either. Chan and Tylee… and Mai. I think that you're the only person who thinks that it looks gross." Before Azula can open her mouth Katara adds, "Jet's opinion doesn't count and Yue's we can consider but…"
"It's questionable." Azula finishes she forces a laugh. "I'm skeptical of anything Yue says." She stands and beckons for Katara to follow her to her bedroom.
"I promise, you look fine. Your face doesn't bother anyone that matters."
"It bothers me."
"I think that you just have to get used to it." Katara guesses. She picks up two lipsticks. "Which one do you want?"
Azula points at the bright red, Katara is already applying it when it occurs to her that such a bold choice in color will draw unwanted attention to her face. She hopes that the lipstick will be bright enough to keep their focus on her lips rather than her ravaged cheeks.
"You don't understand." She says after Katara swaps out the lipstick for some eyeliner. Katara quirks a brow and Azula takes that as her cue to continue. "Look at my room." She gives her girlfriend a chance to take it in. It's immaculate cleanliness and the tedious and orderly fashion in which all of her belongings are arranged from the alignment of her shelves, dressers, and bed to the collection of trophies on her dresser and crystals on her nightstand. Even the stuffed pandas on her bed and the fairy lights wrapped around the bed posts are perfectly straight. There is an impeccable balance about the room. "It's all symmetrical or at least balanced. Everything is where it is supposed to be."
"I can tell." Katara replies. "You'd hate Sokka's room." She dabs some eyeshadow gently atop Azula's lids.
"I don't like when things are lopsided or out of place. It hurts my head. It's like this itch that won't go away until I straighten whatever it is up. I can't do that with my face. It's literally going to drive me insane."
Katara puts the makeup brushes aside and takes Azula's hands. "You're going to be fine." She looks around the room. "How about this, you can wear one of those masquerade half-masks to the festival. You family has crazy cash, I'm sure that your dad could buy you a bunch of those masks until you're comfortable looking at your face again." She seems to grow more excited with each word. "It could be your thing! I don't know anyone else who spices up their school uniform with a mask. I'm sure Pathik would make an exception to the dress code for you. He likes you."
"I guess that, that could work." Azula replies. She picks up the mask that came with her dress and slips it over her face."
"But since it was my idea I want you to do something for me."
Azula rolls her eyes. "What?"
"Just promise me that you'll look at your face, without the mask, at least once a day. Even if it's just when you brush your teeth or comb your hair in the morning."
"Perhaps."
"You have to get used to seeing yourself like this. I don't want you to have to cover your face forever." She pauses. "I want you to appreciate yourself for who you are. For that to happen, you're going to have to…"
"Accept it first." Azula finishes. She inhales deeply and removes the mask once more. "I'm still going to steal your mask idea though."
"You really like attention, don't you?"
"I like to...make myself known." She clarifies. "I feel like people will remember the person who comes to school wearing a different mask every other day."
"Every other day?"
"Yes." Azula says. "I'll tolerate looking at the asymmetry for a day and then I'll give myself a break from that. Is that a problem."
"No!" Katara says quickly. "That's...that's actually more than I thought you'd be willing to do."
"You thought that I was going to be dramatic about this didn't you?"
"You were definitely dramatic. 'It's literally going to drive me insane'." Zuko mocks from in the doorway. Azula chucks her mask at him. "Jesus." He rubs his arm, that goofy grin never leaves his face.
"I thought that you'd want to take baby steps, is all." Katara answers.
Azula crinkles her nose. "If I'm going to do something, I'm going to put a real effort in." She turns back to Zuko. "Where's Mai?"
"Fussing with Tom-Tom again. You two are probably going to have to meet me there."
"You're our ride, dumb dumb." Azula collects her mask and finds her favorite perfume; a rose fragrance in a dragon shaped bottle. "Do you want a spray."
Katara holds up a different perfume with a seashell bottle, "I'd like to try this one."
"Go on."
While she is there, she might as well start now; she takes another breath and spares the mirror a look as she gives the perfume bottle a few pumps.
.oOo.
"It's beautiful!" TyLee gasps. "It's been such a long time since I really looked at the stars."
"Your gymnastics season is almost over, yes?" Azula asks.
"Yeah, unfortunately."
"You can follow Katara and I to the astronomy club."
"Oh yeah! I could do that!" She replies.
"Do you guys want to try candle making?" Zuko cuts in, he jabs his thumb in the direction of an activity stall.
Mai shrugs, "I'll tag along."
"I like scented candles." TyLee tugs Chan towards the stall.
Azula exchanges a look with Katara, "do you want to make one together."
"I'd like that." She smiles.
Azula finds that she likes working with the wax, it warms her hands as she shapes the candle. Katara had insisted that they use blue wax and let Azula pick the shape. Ultimately she decides to make a simple pillar candle. She fades different shades of blue wax into each other while Katara etches in stars of silver glitter. It smells of blueberry and ocean spray. Both Yue and TyLee have created candles of pink; TyLee's is a bubblegum scented pastel and Yue's a bright pink, peach smelling abomination. It grows worse still when Kei Lo adds a touch of red apple.
Expectedly, Mai insists on a black candle that smells of licorice and cherry.
"Where's your brother anyways?" Azula asks.
"He and Suki wanted to do a little holiday shopping before coming here, that's why I told them to drop me off at your place."
"And Aang?"
"I think that he and Teo are trying to convince Toph to come. She says that she gets tired of pointing at random spots in the sky and claiming to see aliens."
"She knows that there are other things to do here, right?"
Katara shrugs and then takes a step back to look at their candle. "I think that we're done."
Azula moves it to the drying rack to be picked up at the candle lighting hour. Katara takes Azula's hand, "why aren't you wearing gloves?" She asks.
"They don't match my dress."
"Your hands are freezing!" She exclaims. "Take my gloves or let's go get a cup of hot chocolate. Geeze, my mom would kill me if I came out here without gloves!"
"I'm not cold." Azula denies.
"You are too." Katara huffs. "You're shivering."
Azula gives a soft and stubborn pout. "I'm fine." She insists, her words accented by teeny puffs of fog that do little to help her case. The smoky wisps trail in brief bursts towards the sky. She watches them drift, fading away before they can even reach the strings of soft gold lights that connect one food stall to the next. The strings of light bob in the same snowy gust that shakes the paper lanterns. She supposes that the atmosphere is very pleasing. Beneath her feet, the ground is a mess of star shaped confetti and silver glitter, not that the glitter is necessary with the natural sparkle of the snow accumulating on the ground.
Every twelve feet or so is a small fire where people gather and warm their hands. Katara is pulling her in the direction of one of them. She rustles around in her oversized backpack and pulls out a blanket. "Here, take this." She wraps it around Azula and steals a look at the nearest food stall. Azula slips her a handful of cash. She gives Azula a brief hug and makes her way to the stall.
Azula sits there listening to the crackle and pop of the flames. She supposes that she is happy to be wrapped in the blanket. Her hands were beginning to grow red. Katara returns with two steaming cups of hot chocolate. "S'mors?" She offers, gesturing to the sticks.
"Yes, that sounds nice."
As Azula sips her drink, Katara twirls two marshmallows over the flames.
.oOo.
Azula is rather quiet and Katara has trouble gauging her mood. She is fairly certain that the girl is content. At the very least, her teeth aren't chattering anymore. Katara doesn't think that she has ever seen someone get so cold so fast.
She watches the girl tinker with her telescope and then with her own. If only having one free hand is slowing her down, she sure doesn't show it. Azula looks up from her work and Katara can finally gauge her emotions. She does look rather elated, more so than Katara has seen her look in a while.
They are only minutes away from Sozin's comet passing. Katara looks down from the top of the hill; from top to bottom it is alit with hundreds of flickering candles. A sea of twinkling flames and thin wisps of smoke.
"We're all set." Azula notes.
Katara can't imagine how thrilled the girl must be to finally see the spectacle that gave her family such an esteemed name.
"Sozin's comet will be the first to fall and then the rest of them should appear." Azula remarks with more enthusiasm than Katara has ever heard in her voice. Every now and again she leans into the telescope. Katara decides that it is best to make her way over to her own.
It happens quickly; a flash of brilliant orange in the sky as the comet flares into view. It is humbling to view such an old object. One that very well could have been around since the dawn of man. From such a distance it looks so small. Even still it is beautiful to behold with its fiery tail and the trail of dust and debris it leaves behind. Katara follows it with her telescope until it dips below the horizon and out of view.
It was such a fleeting moment, but then, the most glorious moments usually are. A second or two of splendor, a minute at most and then all is ordinary once more. She supposes that the universe knows that beauty is best appreciated when it is a rarity to be seen. Even so, the moment isn't entirely over.
Just as Azula noted, the sky becomes crowded with many falling stars. A rain of them that leave silver-blue lines in their wake like contrails of an aeroplane.
"Wow this is…"
"Magnificent." Azula finishes.
Katara thinks that there is no better word.
She feels arms wrap around her torso and a blanket falling over her shoulders. Azula isn't quite tall enough to rest her had in the crook of Katara's neck so she presses her mostly healed left cheek against her back.
Content to finally see Azula initiating physical contact for once, Katara doesn't move. Not until it occurs to her that her girlfriend is slightly trembling again.
"Let me warm you up?" She offers.
Azula takes a step back. Katara takes her blanket and wraps it around herself. She then takes Azula into a hug and wraps the blanket around the both of them. Azula peers up at her, snow clings to her lashes. Katara never realized how small the girl was until then. She gives Azula a cheerful smile.
The comets still burst overhead, she can see them reflected in Azula's eyes as the girl stares up at them. She doesn't want to interrupt her viewing, but at the same time, she craves their first real kiss. So she cups Azula's less delicate cheek and leans in.
Azula doesn't flinch or draw back as Katara had anticipated. The girl closes her eyes and lets Katara guide her through what she assumes is the girl's first real kiss. Katara can't tell if Azula's face is rosey with the cold or because she has never been kissed before.
No matter, she seems to be at peace.
She sniffles.
"Let's look at the comets for a few more minutes and then get inside before you get yourself sick." Katara suggests.
"I'm fine." Azula insists, but she doesn't protest when Katara begins to pack away their equipment and she doesn't put up a fight when Katara begins tugging her towards the banquet hall.
Katara herself is relieved to be out of the cold, she was beginning to shiver herself. She watches Azula wander over to the chocolate fountain where she greets TyLee who has a rather absurd amount of chocolate covered fruit already gathered. Chan says something and the three of them laugh. She wishes that she could have heard it but she is thrilled to see Azula in such good spirits, especially after seeing her look so dismal and beat down.
"She seems happy." Mai notes.
Katara nods.
"What did you do to her?" Zuko flashes an amused grin.
"I gave her some hot chocolate and a blanket...and then a kiss."
"Hey, thanks for doing this for her." Zuko says. "She really needed a good night like this. Even if she doesn't tell you, it means a lot to her."
"I know." Katara smiles. "I can tell."