A.N: Okay, so this chapter is in here because A LOT of time has passed since I originally wrote anything for this story (8 years since I updated any of you). So I have revamped the story, I tried to keep my old story as intact as I could, but a lot has changed. Some characters were re-written or deleted all together, sorry. So here is the newest version of Cannot Live Without Her, now re-named. Please Enjoy and let me know what you think!
Who are you in Love With?
Chapter One- Girl of His Dreams
Alexander stared at the book in front of him, though he wasn't really reading it. The only thing he got out of the pages were the words on the top, 'The Gifts of the Little People.' His brain was more focused towards the sounds coming from outside the small little bedroom he was in. The room was a complete mess, there was trash and glass bottles all over the place, stains riddled the carpet and walls, most of which were dark and questionable. There wasn't even a real bed in the room, just a twin sized mattress on the floor with a single blanket and pillow, both of which he was sitting on.
Alexander couldn't stop himself from jumping once he heard the sound of a car door opening and closing outside. His heart started to pound in his chest as he started to listen closely for any sign of the person who made the sound. It was only when the front door was slammed open did his eyes jump off the book and onto the bedroom door. He quickly stood up and hid the book in a hole in the wall next to the window. He could feel the sweat falling down the side of his face as he found himself quickly sitting back down on the bed. His heart beat only rose with anticipation, hoping beyond hope that the man would go straight to his room.
Fear then forced him to stand up once again as the bedroom door slammed open and a large man stumbled into the room. His face was contorted in anger as he stared at Alexander, who had slowly looked down at the beer bottle in the man's hand. When he quickly looked back up, he knew nothing good was going to happen next. It never did.
"You filthy parasite!" The man yelled as he then stormed towards Alexander, who instinctively took a couple steps back only to hit the wall behind him. "How could you!" He continued to yell as he grabbed Alexander's hair and pulled him closer. The man had tears in his eyes and his breath smelled of beer. "You Bitch! How dare you still live!" He then lifted the bottle and smashed it on top of Alexander's head. His head felt like it would burst open as he fell backwards, the world fading into black.
As he continued to fall for what seemed to feel like an eternity, he couldn't see anything but pitch blackness all around him. He could hear something in the distance, though he didn't have to see to know that it was the sound of a girl crying. He wanted to go to the girl, to help her in any way he could. Alexander felt his heart tighten as the sounds stopped. He knew what came next. He wanted to plug his ears and curl into a ball, but he couldn't move. All he could do was listen as the girl let out an ear piercing scream, filled with so much despair and pain that Alexander thought no living person should ever endure.
"NO!" Alexander yelled as he jolted forward. The world spun back into sight as he found himself in a completely different room. He looked around, totally confused by the queen sized bed and the pristine room around him. However reality started to settle back into his brain as he realized that he was laying in his own bed, in his own apartment.
Alexander felt the left side of his head, trying to find any trace that he had been hit. It had felt so real at the time, but now there was nothing. He suddenly felt frustrated. If this girl was real and these things were really happening. Why was he forced to go through the experience with her?
"You filthy parasite!" The man's words rang in Alexander's ears, "How dare you still live!" Alexander bit his lip, a second later he tasted blood.
"Careful there, your fangs are showing." A voice said from the doorway, making Alexander jump. He looked over and found Soph leaning on his door frame. Alexander quickly whipped the blood away from his mouth.
Soph, or Sophia, was Alexander's roommate. They've been living together for the past year when Alexander had found Soph crying on the street one rainy afternoon. He later found out that she had been kicked out into the streets by her own parents.
"You had another nightmare, right?" She asked, giving him a concerned look.
"Yeah," Alexander said as he looked away, ashamed she saw him in this state.
"Which one this time?"
"The mystery girl again." He said, then let out a sigh as he got out of bed. "This time I found out she's reading a book called 'The Gifts of the Little People' ever heard of it?"
Soph shook her head. "No, you know that reading isn't one of my hobbies unless it has vampires in it. Besides, that sounds like one of those books we would be forced to read in school. No thanks."
Alexander let out a hollow laugh at that, "I guess, though it does sound familiar."
Soph rolled her eyes. "Common nerd, I have some leftover pizza calling my name, want some?"
"Sure, I could use some food before I have to get ready for school."
"School?" Soph asked in shock. Looking over at the clock next to Alexander, it was already six in the morning.
Alexander let out a small laugh, "I guess you haven't gone to bed yet, huh?" Her only response was to look off to the side, embarrassed. He let another chuckle out. "Well, I hope you have enough energy drinks to keep you functional today."
"That's if I even decide to go." Soph said, giving a small huff.
"To each their own." Alexander said indifferently as he stood up and made his way to the kitchen.
"What?!" Soph asked shocked, "I thought for sure you would lecture me about the importance of education or socializing with people my own age!"
He laughed again. "I'm not going to push my ideals onto you. If you want to drop out and work in the fast food industry for the rest of your life that's all you."
Soph rolled her eyes, "As tempting as you make that sound I think I'm good." There was a small pause, "Okay, I'll go, but you're buying me three cans of pure energy on the way to school."
"When did we start bargaining?" Alexander asked, confused.
"We're not, these are facts." Soph said, a wide smile on her face.
Alexander gave her a half smile as he walked out of the room towards the kitchen.
When Alexander got to school he quickly removed his sunglasses and waved Soph off as she went to go hang out in the cafeteria before class. Every morning Alexander would go to the library to read or do classwork, however today he was going to make an attempt to find the book that he had seen last night.
When he got there he cringed at all the students crowding the area. The library was usually a quiet place, however since the school district started incorporating more technology into the curriculum more people come into the library to use their computers every morning. Alexander tried to make his search quick, but was disappointed to find that there were no books under that name.
Alexander was about to head towards one of the school computers to search it, but every single one was taken up.
Alexander let out a sigh as he decided that doing his homework in his first period classroom would be better than staying in the library. When he got there he quickly sat down in the back row and pulled out his school work. He usually tried to finish any homework he had for his free time in school, he wasn't really the kind of person to do school stuff outside of school.
"Hey Alexander, find the book yet?" Soph asked as she sat down next to him a couple minutes later. He just shook his head as he finished off his English homework. "Bummer, I did some research and all I found were some toys or children's books."
"Children's books?" Alexander asked, but the second Soph was about to answer the bell rang for class to start.
"Alright class," Coach Teage started making Alexander's head jump up, "as I'm sure most of you know, Homecoming is tomorrow, so I'm going to teach all of you how to tie a tie, yes even the girls." Coach held out a box full of cheap looking ties. "Now, everyone, come up and grab one."
"Oh, Alexander." Soph said in a sing song voice. "Please tell me you know how to tie a tie, I'd hate to show up with you looking like shite."
Alexander chuckled at her words, "I could say the same to you."
After their Teen Leadership class was over Alexander and Soph parted ways. Alexander found his Economics class tedious, he wanted nothing more than to take a nap, but figured that would be disrespectful. Instead, he stared out of the window, relieved that the sun was on the other side of the building. He wasn't in the mood for a headache this early in the day. The weather was perfect, the clouds were making random shapes in the blue sky. Alexander let out a sigh, these kinds of days were his favorite, but he loathed the effort he had to put in to go outside.
"Alexander," Mr. Gilbert said in a stern voice. "You mind joining the rest of the class?"
Alexander looked up at the board, understanding they were just now going over the four economic types. He saw they had just gone over two of them already and had just started Command Economics. He saw how the other two were mapped out on the board and sighed, knowing how to fill the missing gaps the teacher left blank.
"I'm paying attention," Alexander started, "Otto… Neurath, I think, developed the concept of Command Economics, right? I believe he did it to counteract hyperinflation after the First World War. Most communist countries still use a command economy to this day." Mr. Gilbert turned red.
"Yes… as I was saying…" Alexander blocked him out again. He knew the subject all too well, and unfortunately Mr. Gilbert didn't make the subject intriguing enough to catch Alexander's attention.
Once class was over Alexander soon found himself being nearly knocked down by Soph in the middle of the hallway. "Hey Alexander, can you look over my Calculus homework one more time before class."
"Sure, let me see." Alexander said, holding out his hand Soph pulled out the piece of paper and Alexander looked over her work as they walked. "Most of your math is good, however for the last problem you divided this one wrong." He pointed to the error as they walked into class. Soph took the paper and started inspecting the equation.
When Alexander got into the classroom he found that the teacher had placed pieces of paper on all the desks, each piece had a students name on in.
Alexander looked at the pieces of paper, frustrated. Assigned seating was the teacher's way of saying that someone had decided to mess up everyone else's fun by talking in class. He quickly found his name, and was disappointed to find Soph on the other side of the room.
"Well, this sucks." Soph said, then gave Alexander a sideways glance with a huge smile on her face. "Pun intended," She whispered so quietly only Alexander could hear. He just rolled his eyes and sat down.
While Alexander was waiting for the class to start he heard multiple moans and groans about the assigned seats. He only looked up when he noticed someone taking the seat next to him. He looked up, the minute he caught the girl's eye she was suddenly frozen. The girl was certainly plain. She had long wavy brown hair that looked a little ratty. She had a long grey jacket on and jeans that seemed to have the legs rolled up at least three times. Her skin was almost as pale as Alexander's and her eyes were a rich caramel, that looked almost terrified.
Alexander felt his face go warm and looked away. Soph had told him that he was always brooding at people, however he never meant to. He had probably scared the poor girl. He saw though the corner of his eye that she had slowly sat down in her seat.
Alexander could hear her heart racing next to him. He let out a defeated sigh. "Great," He thought as he crossed his arms on the table and laid his head on them, defeated. "I still can't socialize right."
As the class started Alexander tried to find the right opportunity to apologize to the girl. Every now and then he would sneak a glance at her, only to find her long hair concealing her face from him. However he did eventually get her name from the top of her homework.
Amie Dawn
Near the end of the class the teacher assigned the new homework and left them to do it until the bell rang. Alexander took his chance.
"Hey, Amie?" The girl instantly stiffened, but didn't respond. "I'm sorry about earlier, if I scared you. Soph says that my glare can be pretty scary, but I swear, I didn't mean to glare."
Amie looked over at him slowly, a reserved look on her face. "Um, it's fine, I guess." She muttered as she then turned her attention back to her work, her hair concealing her face again.
Alexander was a little shocked by the girl. He didn't know how to describe how the interaction went, but it didn't feel like she was any less uncomfortable being next to him.
Alexander looked over at Soph and found her smiling widely while talking to Elizabeth, or Liz. Liz was debatably one of the most popular girls in school, though Alexander never once saw her sitting with the actual popular kids. She was undoubtedly beautiful to most of the male students, she had long strawberry blonde hair and fair skin, her eyes were a cloudy grey and she always wore the most fashionable attire. She was always doing her own thing, making friends with just about everyone. Soph looked over at Alexander, when their eyes met she waved, her smile widening more. Liz looked over as well and smiled at him.
Alexander was a little shocked by that. Most people tended to shy away from him, Amie being an extreme example. To have a girl, especially one as popular as Liz smile at him was bizarre to say the least.
The bell then rang, and before Alexander knew it Amie was standing up and rushing out of the classroom. Liz looked a little shocked at Amie's actions, and followed her. Soph, still smiling, walked over to Alexander. "So, what did you and Amie talk about?"
Alexander looked over at Soph confused. "You know Amie?"
"Yeah, she moved here back in the third grade."
Alexander thought her words though. "How come I haven't noticed her till today?"
Soph let out a soft laugh. "Cause she doesn't really talk, well not anymore. She used to be really fun and outgoing back in middle school, but once freshman year started she seemed to blend into the woodwork."
Alexander looked at the door she had just rushed through. "Maybe high school was too much for her?"
Soph shrugged. "I guess."
Amie couldn't seem to get rid of her goosebumps since she locked eyes with Alexander. She really didn't like being around him, and this was the closest they had ever been to one another. His aura was always so overpowering compared to everyone else's. Even Liz's who also had a pretty strong aura was nothing compared to his. Amie could always tell where he is whenever he comes within half a mile of her. That itself wasn't what made being around him unbearable though. What left Amie the most uneasy was the shadow that always hung around his aura. She knew the shadow all too well, it was one of absolute loathing. She had felt it in a few people, but his was one of the worst.
During the entirety of class she could feel his inner turmoil about their interaction at the beginning of class, however the shadow lingered over those feelings. Amie could usually tell where certain emotions were pointing, whether at a person or situation. However this shadow seemed to just be there.
"Hey, Amie?" Alexander suddenly asked, causing Amie's heart to jump into her throat. "I'm sorry about earlier, if I scared you. Soph says that my glare can be pretty scary, but I swear, I didn't mean to glare."
Amie slowly looked over, The shadow was lingering in his aura making her heart race, but she could also feel that he was genuinely concerned about her, "um, it's fine, I guess." She said, then looked down at her work. The moment she noticed Alexander's attention drift somewhere else Amie started to gather her belongings and stuff them in her binder, eager to get as much distance as she could from him.
She looked up at the clock and noticed Liz looking over in her direction. Amie smiled at her, but knew she wasn't looking at Amie, but at Alexander. She's had her eyes on him all week, though Amie didn't have the slightest idea why, besides asking him out on a date, he did seem to be her type.
When the bell finally rang Amie was the first person out of the classroom.
"Amie!" Liz yelled from down the hall, but Amie couldn't get her legs to stop the fast walk they were doing towards the library. It was only when a hand grabbed hers that she stopped and turned. Liz was holding her hand, a sad smile on her face. "Common Amie, calm down. Alexander won't bite you."
Amie took a deep breath and nodded, only to regret it. Her head suddenly erupted in pain and her vision went blurry, but just as fast as the pain came, it was gone. Sudden intense worry washed from Liz, but Amie tried to recover.
"I'm sure you're right. But you know how I feel about… well." Amie didn't have it in her to finish. Liz was her one and only friend, being such, she unfortunately knew all of Amie's little secrets.
"He's not your dad." Liz said patiently. "I'm sure you'll come to realize that once you get to know him."
"I don't need to get to know him." Amie said defensively.
"Common Amie. I can't be your only friend."
Amie flushed, she had gone the first two years of highschool without a friend. Having Liz had shown her what she had been missing. However it was also a comfort she didn't know if she deserved. Did she have the right to ask for more? She knew one thing for sure, Alexander was one of the last people Amie wanted as a friend.
"I'm going to go for a walk, you should go to the cafeteria to get something to eat." Amie said as she walked away, her chest tight.
Amie was relieved to find that Liz hadn't followed her. When she got to her locker she stuffed her books and binder into it and pulled out her wallet and keys. She then headed for the front doors of the school. Amie had early release every day, so Calculus was her last class of the day. Tomorrow however would be another story. The school system worked on an A and B schedule with different classes on each day. Amie had already gotten a majority of her credits to graduate, and since this year was her senior year she decided to get early release so she had a chance to relax.
She decided to take a walk outside of school to clear her head and get away from all the teenage auras in the building. When she walked out of the building she could still feel Alexander's aura in the cafeteria, Liz was barely detectable next to him.
Amie walked over to the dollar store after about ten minutes of walking, and bought herself a bottle of pop and continued her walk. Her head would occasionally give a painful throb, but she was used to it. Concussions were a pretty regular occurrence for her. She let out a sigh as she found a bench to sit on in front of a large technology shop.
"You Bitch!" Amie flinched from the memory and took another swig of pop. Her hand instinctively went to the left side of her head, as her hand found the wound from last night she flinched as a sharp pain erupted from the contact. She had found a good sized cut on her head in the morning and tried to patch it up the best she could before going to school, but it wasn't her best stitch job. Amie felt her jacket pocket and smiled as her hand brushed against the paper cover of a book. She pulled it out and smiled at the cover of 'Grimm's Fairy Tales.'
'To Amie, my little White Rose'
The note was handwritten with silver ink on the cover. Amie flipped a few pages and read another note.
'Never let those around you taint your pure heart'
The page it was written on had a title on the top of the page. "Snow-White and Red-Rose." The story wasn't actually 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves' that Disney had made. This story was about two sisters named after their mother's two rose bushes. Amie noticed that her mother had written small notes like this on most of the stories. Pain shot through her heart at the thought that her mother would do something like this, like she knew she wouldn't be around to tell her these things personally.
"Filthy parasite!" Amie felt a tear fall down her cheek, but she quickly brushed it away. Amie liked to think she had good memories of her father when she was a child, but looking back now, she wasn't so sure. Her father seemed to have loved her mother very much. Amie never got to meet her since she died shortly after giving birth to her. Amie remembered her father caring for her as a child, however she eventually noticed he didn't act the same as her friends parents did. He seemed to always keep Amie at a distance, and he never really gave her the same smiles she saw on her friends' parents' faces, or as many hugs and kisses.
It wasn't until the summer before she started high school that everything suddenly turned into a nightmare. It was that summer that she started to feel aura's. At first she didn't know what was going on, but after awhile of watching people's interactions with one another she began to understand that what she was feeling were the emotions and intentions of others. In her fear she went to her father.
Amie's original intention was to ask her father what was happening. However, her father's own aura confused her. He was stressed, but trying to force out a happy facade, and then there was the shadow lurking over those emotions. Amie could feel his anger, his absolute loathing, and it was all directed towards her. Amie was startled, and spoke without thinking. She explained what she was feeling, and asked what she did to make him angry, asking what she had to do to fix it.
In that instant the mask that he had been wearing shattered, and before she knew it, he had slapped her across the face so hard she found herself on the ground. He had yelled at her, telling her to stay out of his head. How it was all her fault. How he wished she were dead. From that day forward Amie never once saw her father without a bottle of beer, or with a smile on his face.
Amie felt something warm run down her forehead, and her heart jumped as she touched it, finding blood on her finger tips.
"Are you alright?" A voice asked. Amie looked up and found a boy with deep blue eyes and shaggy black hair looking down at her with concern. Amie's heart jumped once again. For a brief second she thought she was looking right at Alexander. However the next second she realized the shadow was missing, and that their face's weren't quite the same.
"Oh, um yeah." Amie started jumping to her feet. "It's just a cut, nothing to worry about."
The boy looked skeptical, his ocean blue eyes bore into Amie's. "Here." He pulled out a black rag from his jacket. "It's not much, but it might help."
Amie looked at the rag, a little shocked. "Th-thanks, but are you sure?"
He smiled, "Yeah, you can keep it."
Amie felt her face turn warm as she took it. "Thanks again." She mumbled as she put the rag on her wound. "I should go clean up. Thanks again."
The boy laughed, "Don't mention it." With that he went inside the store, Amie stared after him for a second before going in herself to find a restroom to clean up.
Once she got in she quickly cleaned the blood off her face and then tried to clean the rag up until no more blood flowed from it. Once she was done she put a large handful of paper towels on her wound and applied pressure. While she did this she looked at herself in the mirror. She was pale, and skinny. She remembered years ago she was perfectly healthy with olive skin and full cheeks.
Amie sighed as she looked away and leaned on the sink. Hoping her bleeding would stop so she could hurry back to school to finish as much homework as possible before she had to catch the bus.
Once Amie started to log off the library computer she felt a body slam into her back, causing her heart to jump in fear. After a second to take in the aura she sighed in relief to find it was Liz, completely delighted.
"So, Amie. I have a surprise for you." Liz said, and before Amie could ask what, two pieces of paper were put into her line of sight.
Amie read the words on the paper and felt her stomach turn to lead. "No." Amie said, her voice a squeak. "L-Liz you know I can't go to Homecoming."
"Ah, but I've already gotten the tickets, the dresses, and the ride planned out. So I can't take 'No' for an answer. All I can accept is a 'Thank you Liz' and maybe a hug."
Amie flushed. "But you know how I feel about dances, plus I have work."
"I already got you the day off work, and this isn't about dancing, this is about enjoying our senior year to the fullest, and hanging out with friends." Amie bit her lip. Not knowing what to do.
She looked over at the far corner of the library, only to quickly look away. In that corner were a group of jocks hanging out. Amie felt her heart jump as she locked eyes with one jock in particular.
Liz looked over and smiled widely. "What? Should I have asked our star running back to Homecoming?"
Amie looked over at Liz, a warning look on her face. "Don't even think about it."
Liz laughed, "You're so cute when you're flustered. Why don't you ever go talk to him, you and Zack used to be friends right?"
Amie glanced over at Zack as he continued to talk with his fellow football playing friends. "He probably doesn't remember that sort of stuff, or at least doesn't seem to care."
Amie and Zack had been best friends for as long as Amie could remember, until high school started. There wasn't a big fight or anything that caused them to stop talking, well not at first. Amie just never returned any of his calls over summer break, then went out of her way to avoid talking to him.
Amie looked over at Liz, briefly remembering why she had drifted from Zack. It was so he wouldn't notice her wounds, or judge her. Amie was totally distraught when Liz found out about her father. To this day Amie still went out of her way to keep Liz and her father away from each other as humanly possible.
"Want to go shopping with me today?" Liz asked after a while, seeing Amie could probably use a pick-me-up.
Amie looked up at Liz and sighed, a small smile playing on her face, "Yeah, that would be nice."
There, a sneak peak into the updated story. I haven't written a whole lot yet, but I figured after such a long time of not hearing from me you guys deserved something. I still have every intention of publishing this story, so please let me know what you all think. You can PM me or write a review, I just miss hearing from you guys.
Thanks
~Leandra Rego