Everything was a mess and Amy hated it. It was four days after she died and she still couldn't wrap her head around it. But things were only getting worse. Michael wouldn't leave her alone for even a second. At one point she'd had to scream at him because she couldn't even go for a piss in peace. She knew he was dealing with his own shit about what happened but he was being more clingy than usual and she felt smothered by him. Cordelia had ruled that Jessica was to be burned at the stake. Everyone agreed, especially Michael. But Amy, she didn't. It had shocked everyone when she told Cordelia not to do it. That she didn't need to die because of this. Yes, Amy had died, but now she was back again. She begged Cordelia to just shun her from the coven and be done with it. It had stunned everyone and the look Michael had given her had been so murderous that if looks could kill, she'd be back down in hell all over again. Cordelia shut her down though. She deemed Jessica a threat to the coven. That if they were to send her away she might retaliate and she had darkness inside of her, Michael was proof of that. Cordelia had said how Michael wanted to kill Jessica, but once Amy asked him to stop, he did instantly. And that if the Antichrist could reign himself in, that Jessica should have been able to do the same. Amy didn't like any of it. The thought of a girl dying because of her made her sick. Putting blood on her hands that she didn't want. She thought it was all unnecessary. And she told them all what she thought and that she wouldn't be present when it happened.
"Michael, please don't do this," Amy pleaded weakly. She was so sick of fighting. She felt like all they'd done this past few days is fight over this and it was only made more awkward since he never left her side, even when they fought.
"I'm going and that's final," was his harsh reply as he put on his dress jacket. She wiped a hand over her face with an exasperated sigh. Today was the day of the burning and Michael was going. But he wasn't just going, he had requested to Cordelia that he be the one to light the fire. When Amy learnt about it she had been so horrified she gave him the silent treatment for a whole day but he hadn't budged on the issue. Cordelia had been surprised by the request and unsure, but Michael had been brutally honest with her. He told her everything that happened from his point of view and even, unknowingly to Amy, told Cordelia of what he witnessed in the girl's personal hell. It had bothered Cordelia so much that she agreed, wanting him to have closure too. Michael had told her Amy was his soulmate and she knew how much this had affected him too. She hoped this would help him be able to move past it all.
"You don't have to do this Michael!" Amy sighed.
"Yes I do!" he bellowed as he turned to glare at her. The mirror on the vanity cracked behind him and she blinked at him. She wasn't scared of him but she didn't appreciate his tone.
"I know you went through a lot, but so did I! I was the one to dive in after you! I was the one to pull your lifeless body out of the lake! You went through your personal hell and I went through mine that day!" he yelled as his voice cracked. She lowered her eyes unable to look at him. They had both been through a lot, that she would never deny. But she didn't agree with this.
"I'm going and nothing you say will stop me," he bit out before he stormed out of the room and slammed the door, making her flinch.
It was dark by the time Michael came back. Amy had sat at the desk trying to read to take her mind off things but it didn't work. She was distraught, knowing the girl's life was ending and it was all about her. It didn't sit right with her at all. When Michael walked in, she smelt it right away. The fire scent wasn't his own that soothed her and it made bile rise in her throat. She didn't spare him a glance as she turned the page in her book, trying to look busy. She heard him behind her getting undressed and she could feel his eyes burning into her. She didn't utter a word in his direction though. She heard him heave a sigh and his bed groaning as he got in it, yet again she didn't say a word. She stayed at the desk for hours more, hoping he would be asleep. But when she stood up, he was lay watching her with a blank expression. She turned her eyes from him and walked over to her bed, clearly surprising him as he sat up. They'd shared a bed since they started this thing and now she wanted to be nowhere near him. She climbed under her covers with her back to him without a second glance.
He sat there staring at her for a moment, his heart cracking in his chest. He knew she didn't understand why he did it, but he needed to do it. Everyone else seemed to get it but she just couldn't and it was frustrating for him. And now she wasn't talking to him or even in the same bed. It made him mad and upset all rolled into one. But he respected her enough to lay down and leave her alone. He knew she wouldn't appreciate him climbing into her bed and holding her no matter how much he wanted to. He lay there unable to sleep, his mind replaying that awful day in his mind. The only soothing thing to him was the memories from earlier that day when he had sent that bitch right to his father to deal with. He finally felt like he could breathe again, only to have Amy upset with him.
He thought she was asleep since hours passed with them both in separate beds, but then he heard her muffled sobs. More fractures appeared on his heart as he sat up and looked at her forlornly. She was pushing the blanket to her mouth trying to be quiet, maybe so she didn't wake him up. But he was already awake and her pitiful sobs were killing him. He couldn't just stay in bed now knowing she was hurting. All he wanted was to take it away from her.
"Amy-" he started softly.
"Don't!" she snapped harshly. Her tone shocked him and she sat up, glaring at him with watery eyes.
"Please don't cry," he pleaded weakly, feeling his own eyes sting with tears.
"Fuck you! Fuck all of you here!" she screamed. It took him aback for a moment. He didn't think he'd ever witnessed her so enraged before. She hopped out of bed glaring at him as she paced and he was partly worried she was having a nervous breakdown. He knew her mental state was fragile after what happened to her and he was worried she'd finally snapped.
"We did it for you, for what she did to you," he said carefully as his watery orbs watched her pace. She stopped still then and clenched and unclenched her fists by her sides. It was like looking into a mirror and it terrified him.
"No, it wasn't! I told you all what I wanted! I didn't want her dead for this Michael so don't you fucking dare try to put that blood on my hands!" she shrieked. Michael was at a loss, she was so fucking angry and upset and he wasn't afraid to admit he was a little scared. Their bedroom door opened suddenly and Cordelia, Zoe and Myrtle stood there in their nightgowns.
"What on earth is going on in here?" Cordelia asked looking wide-eyed. Clearly, the girl's loud voice had woken the whole academy, so loud it had somehow penetrated the slight soundproofing of the room. Michael shook his head at her, almost warning them to leave, they would only make it worse. But it was too late.
"I'm the one who fucking died! Me! Not any of you! The decision should have been mine and now a young girl is dead!" Amy yelled outraged, her emotions finally pouring out of her. The older women look startled at her for a moment.
"Amy, we-" Cordelia started.
"No! Fuck all of you! I begged you! I fucking begged you not to do this and not one fucking person in this room decided I was important enough to make that choice!" she bellowed as tears flowed down her cheeks. Her words made Michael's heart shatter. She felt unimportant yet again. It only transported him back to her personal hell when the demon wearing his face had told her as much.
"You are important," Michael implored as he got out of bed, but she took a step back and glared at him.
"Of course I am. That's why what all of you wanted meant so much more than me," she bit out harshly. He lowered his eyes realizing how selfish they had all been. He didn't regret it. Not for a second. The girl was a threat and had killed Amy. It didn't matter if she was back in the land of the living or not. She had died at her hands and he didn't regret lighting her on fire and watching as she burned to nothing but ash. But now hearing Amy's words, he could see how this made her feel. How the words she heard down in her hell felt real to her and how it was chipping away at her sanity.
"That girl was wicked Amy. It wasn't just about you, it was about all of your sisters. She would have retaliated if we kicked her out," Myrtle reasoned firmly. Amy turned her shiny blue eyes onto her then, the woman she normally considered a mother figure to her.
"It's funny, we get condemned for killing our own yet you all so willingly get blood on your hands doing the same. Even when the person the crime was committed against begs for it not to happen. I would have thought my opinion actually mattered, but I realised now it didn't. Your own personal vengeance was far too important for me to matter," Amy whispered harshly as she wiped her eyes. Zoe stepped forward then with a sad look on her face but Amy held her hand out to stop her.
"I think we need to give her and Michael some space. She might feel like we're cornering her," Myrtled muttered to Cordelia and Zoe. It was quite clear to everyone in the room that the young girl seemed to be unravelling and they weren't surprised after all she had been through. Cordelia nodded, taking Zoes hand as she gave Amy one last look. She turned her eyes to Michael then, almost as if asking if he would be okay with her. He nodded and the three women left. Amy stood there with her chest heaving, fists still clenching and unclenching by her sides as she squeezed her eyes shut. Michael took a hesitant step forward to her.
"Amy, just come and lay down okay? You need to rest," he said softly. She clenched her jaw and shook her head, unable to quell the emotions she was feeling right then.
"Please, just come to bed," he begged as he grabbed her wrist. Something seemed to snap within her as she wrenched her wrist from his grasp.
"I said no!" she screamed, Michael flew backwards, hitting the wall by an unknown force with a sharp thud that made him cry out in pain. He hit the floor with a groan, looking at her with wide eyes as his tears finally fell. Partly because he was hurt she would do that, but mostly her words. They had transported him back to that vile place and he hated himself that he had backed her into a corner like that. To make her relive what she had been through. It made him want to tear his own throat out.
She looked at him with wide eyes, lips parted as her face fell when she realised what she had done. She shook her head and ran over to him, falling to her knees in front of him.
"I-I'm so sorry," she sobbed, grasping his face in between her two small hands as she checked him over. He wasn't mad at her though. He knew better than anyone what it felt like to not be able to control your emotions. And he knew she had every right to act the way she did. She wrapped her arms around him and his body relaxed infinitely at having her so close to him again.
"I'm sorry. I should have listened," he whispered through his own tears as she sobbed into his neck.
"What's wrong with me?" she lamented, clinging onto him tightly. He stroked her hair soothingly and closed his eyes, more tears escaping as he did.
"Nothing. You've been through a lot. You still need time to process it," he murmured quietly. She nodded against him, accepting his answer. He held her for a while, not caring how his back hurt from being flung into a wall. He was surprised at her strength, at how upset she had been in that moment. He was just happy that she was allowing him this, even despite the fact he had made her feel like she did back in hell. Like he had taken away her own free will, even through something as simple as taking her to bed.
They stayed like that on the floor until the sun came up, neither one able to sleep or wanting to part from the other. They'd both been through so much and they were so sick of fighting. They had to stay together thought this, to not let it tear them apart. Eventually, she fell asleep in his arms and he transmuted them over to his bed, laying her down carefully with his arms still around her. His eyes closed from sheer exhaustion of everything, surrounded by her sweet scent and her warmth. His last thought was how he hoped things would get easier with them and that she would be okay.