The news of Marlene's brother's demise reached her friends quickly and everyone was on their feet to provide her comfort, like she had provided them in their times of need. What none of them understood was that Marlene didn't need comfort, she needed revenge.
Lily made way to Marlene's house with James and Sirius after the funeral of Marlene's brother. Sirius hoped that this meeting with her parents would go better than what they previously had. After all, not only had they lost a son but also the fact that he wasn't going to their house alone.
Elias opened the door and Sirius eased up a little when Elias extended his hand towards him. "I am so sorry," Sirius mumbled, shaking hands with Elias.
"Thank you," Elias gave Sirius a tight smile, "I am glad you could make it; Marlene could use some friends right now." Elias went on to shake hands with James, who introduced himself and then finally greeted Lily.
"Come inside," Elias made way for the three wizards to enter the house. It was unusually quiet. Sirius had an eerie feeling about the whole situation. Stepping inside the house, his eyes immediately searched for Marlene.
"Mum and Dad aren't home right now; mum wasn't feeling very well, so dad took her to our grandparents house, he'll be home any minute now," Elias told them as the four of them made way to the drawing room.
"Is Marlene home?" Lily asked, her voice low and soft. All of them settled on the couch.
"Yes," Elias nodded; he turned his head towards the kitchen. "WOOKEY!" Elias shouted, and out came a stumbling house elf as if he was waiting to be called.
"Sir?" Wookey's voice wobbled as he clasped his hands together, his eyes drifting towards Sirius for a split second.
"Ask Marlene to come downstairs," Elias ordered. "And then prepare some tea."
"Yes Sir," Wookey nodded, rushing towards the staircase.
"Marlene hasn't been out of her room since – Tom's death," Elias informed the three visitors when Wookey disappeared from the living room. "I hope she comes out today."
"We are so sorry we couldn't come earlier," James shook his head, a frown settling on his lips.
"No, she understands, she knew you and Sirius had been away on Order's mission, and she was worried Lily would try to come herself, that is why she sent a letter, asking you not to come," Elias assured them. Sirius wondered how he was holding up after her brother's death. Seeing the dark circle under Elias's eyes and the obvious puffiness, he knew Elias wasn't alright.
"How are you?" Sirius couldn't help himself, his heart ached for Elias. Having lost his younger brother a few months ago, he could understand it wasn't easy.
"To be honest, I am not okay," Elias sighed, looking at his feet and then looked back up with a tight smile. "But we need to pull through this."
Just then a loud yell could be heard from upstairs. "I SAID GET OUT!" Marlene shouted, following a loud bang. Sirius head turned towards the noise and he flinched and wondered if the door was still in its place or the hinges had given up with how loudly Marlene banged the door.
"Sirius," Elias bought Sirius's attention back to himself, "Why don't you go to her room?"
Sirius's eyes widened; his lips remained sealed. Alone? Would Marlene be okay with it? What if their father comes back? Would he be okay with it?
"Yes," Lily encouraged him, her eyes pleading. James too nodded. Sirius gulped in hard and took a deep breath, getting up from the couch.
"It's the first room on your left on the first floor," Elias informed him.
"Thank you," Sirius said, his shoes clicked across the wooden floor as he started walking towards the staircase.
As he started climbing the staircase, Wookey passed by him, giving him the most eerie glare Sirius had seen from a house elf. Wookey hated Sirius without a doubt and if looks could kill, Sirius would be dead by now. Ignoring the daggers being thrown his way, Sirius managed to reach Marlene's room.
He knocked on her door twice, and waited for a response. When Marlene didn't reply, Sirius twisted the door knob, opening the door slightly. He expected tears, anger, denial, but he didn't expect the state of nothingness.
Marlene was sitting against the wall opposite to the door, her arms resting on her knees that she had pulled close to her chest. Her red eyes unfocused, hair dishevelled.
"Love?" Sirius whispered, but Marlene didn't respond to Sirius. Sirius gulped the lump forming at the back of his throat as he made way inside Marlene's room.
"Marlene?" Sirius stood a few inches away from Marlene, his brows knitted together. His heart was breaking with the silence. He needed to know what was going on in her mind.
That is when the first tear rolled down Marlene's cheek and as if it was a cue for Sirius. With quick, long strides, he filled the distanced between himself and Marlene and sat down beside her, taking her arms in his hands, he made her turn towards himself. Resting her arms on his shoulders, he pulled her closer as Marlene finally broke down.
"It's alright. Everything will be alright," Sirius told her, patting her head as she pulled herself closer to Sirius.
"How?" Marlene wailed, as she screwed her eyes shut, trying to stop her tears from falling.
"I know it hurts so much, I know," Sirius whispered, his heart was physically aching with every sob Marlene drew.
"It's never going to stop, I was wrong, the war will never end," Marlene cried, her hands clenched onto Sirius's sleeves.
"No, you aren't wrong, it has to end, it will end," Sirius assured her. It sounded ridiculous to him, he had no idea how exactly was the war going to end but he couldn't let Marlene believe the worst. Both of them sat in each other's embrace as Sirius tried to calm Marlene down, which seemed to work.
"Marlene," a familiar voice made Sirius jump. He immediately dropped his hands to his side and got up on his feet to greet the man standing in the doorway.
"Sir," Sirius extended his hand towards Marlene's father, who accepted the handshake. "I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Thank you," Marlene's father gave a tight squeeze to Sirius's hand. "I heard you lost your brother and father a few months ago yourself, I am sure you understand the situation better than most."
Sirius's heart jumped at the sudden civil conversation with Marlene's father. The last time they had met, Sirius was ordered to stay away from Marlene and then asked to leave. "I do," Sirius nodded and the two men dropped their hands to their side.
"Marlene, your friends are waiting downstairs, why don't you come out sweetheart?" Marlene's father's eyes were pleading. Sirius could understand the desperation in his voice. He only wanted what was best for his daughter. Marlene looked at Sirius.
"Please," Sirius mouthed, hoping Marlene would come out to meet Lily and James and maybe they would do a better job at helping her.
"Alright," Marlene mumbled after a long pause. Her heavy and lazy footsteps reminded Sirius of those zombies he had seen in the muggle movies. Balling up his fists to his side, Sirius resisted the urge to engulf Marlene in another hug.
Just as Sirius turned around to follow Marlene out of her room, her father caught his wrist. "I want to talk to you," he mumbled, and then glanced towards Marlene, "About her."
"You know I am not that far away; I can hear you," Marlene scoffed, looking over her shoulder.
"We'll be there in a few minutes, go ahead," Sirius assured her, a tight smile on his lips. He was amazed by how well he could keep his face straight because on the inside, he was petrified. His heart was pounding so loud, he was sure everyone else could hear it too.
Marlene looked too tired to put up a fight, and Sirius was glad that she didn't. He was sure that Marlene's father wouldn't throw him, James and Lily out of the house just like that.
"Let's talk somewhere more private," Marlene's father insisted, walking out of the room and turning left, towards other rooms. Sirius let out the breath he was holding and followed her father without a word.
It creeped Sirius out that he was being led up to the attic and he wondered exactly what kind of conversation did her father wanted to have with Sirius. He could feel the hair on his arms rising the farther they went, and finally his heart almost stopped with Marlene's father shutting the attic door behind himself after Sirius entered.
"Do you know how my son was killed?" Mr McKinnon asked, turning towards Sirius.
"I heard," Sirius nodded, gulping in hard.
He walked around Sirius towards something, Sirius's eyes followed him. Mr McKinnon picked up something long in the dark then turned around. Sirius's brows knitted together when he realised what Mr McKinnon was holding was a sword. It was short, straight and thin, still in its antique looking scabbard, that Mr McKinnon unsheathed.
The shining thin sword caught Sirius's eye. "It's called a rapier sword," Mr McKinnon told Sirius. "I've had this in my family for generations, I kept it up here to protect my kids, which is why they know nothing about swords or cuts, but my father, he taught me how to use this, and what kind of blade did what kind of damage."
Sirius was frozen in his place, his legs cemented to the ground; he was trying to grasp everything at once. The way Mr McKinnon spoke in a low tone, the way he was eyeing the blade, the fact that he hadn't looked up from the blade yet.
"You see, rapier swords aren't designed to cause deep cuts, just enough to cause a distraction and then –," he stopped, clearing his throat. "My son on the other hand, he wasn't cut by some sword, after all, magic folks do not use muggle weapons, he was cut with magic, but it did resemble a slash from a sword. His neck was sliced to the bone, there was nothing anyone could have done to save him."
Sirius's breath was caught in his throat. His eyes travelled down to the sword in Mr McKinnon's hands and then back at his face which could only be described as stoic. His fingers slowly wrapped around the hilt of the sword, as if testing what it felt like to wrap his fingers around it.
"He was killed in front of my wife and me, in our front yard. Imagine a mother watching the light disappear from her child's eyes. Then, Marlene witnessed the gruesome decapitation. Imagine a sister looking at that, that's got to be hard, am I right?" He continued, his voice shaking slightly. "Do you know who did it?"
"I heard," Sirius answered, he couldn't get himself to take the name. He couldn't imagine what that must have been like.
"Rabastan Lestrange," Mr McKinnon finally looked up at Sirius. It was as if he had put a film in front of his eyes, all Sirius could see was the cold demeanour, which sent a shiver down his spine. "Your cousin's brother-in-law."
Sirius's heart skipped a beat. He feared this, which is why he had kept away. He feared that Marlene and her family would associate her brother's death to Sirius's family – the family he left behind. "Sir –" Sirius wanted to tell him that he had nothing to do with it.
"He said 'It's a warning'," Mr McKinnon didn't let him speak. Dropping the scabbard on the ground. "My son didn't know magic, he was harmless and not a threat," Mr McKinnon's eyes widened, and his jaw clenched together.
"I told you to stay away from my daughter and my family, didn't I?" Mr McKinnon's voice was calm. "I knew the day Marlene decided to engage with you, my family was in danger but I thought if you really care about her, you would understand and leave her alone, but I guess you didn't."
"Sir, I –" Sirius wanted to tell Mr McKinnon that he never wanted this to happen with Marlene and her family. He knew the pain of losing a younger sibling.
"This is going to be my last warning to you Mr Black, if you still decide to continue being around my family, I don't think I will hesitate to use this," Mr McKinnon lifted up the sword and pressed its pointy end against Sirius's throat.
Sirius could feel tears burning the rim of his eyes, he understood what this meant. But he wanted to scream on top of his lungs and tell everyone that he didn't have anything to do with it. "I can't help that I love your daughter more than I've loved anything in my entire life," Sirius started, he could already feel the lump forming at the back of his throat.
Mr McKinnon pressed the sword further against his throat, a clear warning for him to stop. "Love her? You are selfish! Don't you see it even now that she doesn't need someone like you? It's only a matter of time before you get everyone around you killed – including your friends who are delusional enough to think you are any better than your family."
"I will willingly give up my life for my friends," Sirius replied, feeling irritation rising up in his body. Never in a million years could he imagine his friends getting hurt because of him.
"Will you? Then why don't you just leave my daughter alone?" Mr McKinnon asked, lowering his sword and Sirius let out a sigh, trying not to let his irritation get the best of him.
"I understand what you are feeling but I am not purposefully trying to hurt your daughter," Sirius replied, raising up his hands slightly, as if surrendering.
"You said the last time we met that you'd protect my daughter, she needs that protection now," Mr McKinnon said, his grip loosening on the hilt.
"If Marlene wants me to leave her alone – if she truly does, I will, but I am not turning my back on her," Sirius let out a sigh.
"Do you think this is noble?" Mr McKinnon narrowed his eyes, "Fighting for her? This is foolish and if another family member of mine gets hurt because you don't realise how stupid this is, I won't sit and watch. So, take this as a warning. The only reason you are staying her is because unfortunately you are the only person who was able to get my daughter out of her room ever since her brother's funeral."
"Don't worry, we'll be leaving soon."
No one knew of the conversation between Sirius and Mr McKinnon. Sirius continued to keep an eye on Marlene for the following days. It was a small step at a time, from leaving her room for the first time in days to finally visiting Sirius after 2 weeks of their visit, Marlene seemed to do better; or at least that is what everyone thought.
"What are you thinking?" Sirius asked, an uneasy feeling growing in his stomach as they sat in Sirius's drawing room one afternoon in complete silence.
"Nothing," Marlene lied, her mind clearly miles away, Sirius wondered if she still had that memory of her brother popping up in her head.
"If you tell me, I might be able to put some worries off your mind," Sirius's voice was soft, as he brushed his index finger on her cheekbone.
"Do you reckon it is lesser evil to kill a killer?" Marlene asked after a long pause, and Sirius's eyes grew to the size of a saucer.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, not wanting to jump to any conclusions but the question alone sent a shiver down his spine, and an ominous feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.
"The war would end if someone kills you-know-who," Marlene answered, looking at Sirius, "If I kill Rabastan, is it not the same?"
"Marlene," Sirius's brows knitted together, "Are you thinking of revenge?"
"Is that wrong?" Marlene questioned back without skipping a beat.
"You can't be serious," Sirius stated, his jaw hanging open. "I know about your pain but you can't kill Rabastan."
Marlene flinched away from Sirius as if she had been burnt, pushing herself as farther away from him as the space on the couch could possibly allow. Her face twisting in a grimace. "You know nothing about my pain," Marlene sneered.
"I know nothing? I lost my brother too Marlene," Sirius reminded her, a frown settling on his lips.
"Under different circumstances, my brother was murdered in cold blood," Marlene spoke from between her teeth.
"But revenge is not going to lessen your pain," Sirius pleaded.
"If you think that, then you don't even know me," Marlene spat back.
"Are you going to be happy once you kill Rabastan?"
"Yes."
"Is that what you truly want?"
"Yes."
"And how are you going to do it?"
"I've done enough for the Order, I reckon if I ask Professor Dumbledore a favour to help me track down Rabastan, I can kill him."
"Why would Dumbledore help you with personal favours?"
"He is not as bad as you think he is."
"He isn't as good as you think either."
"Are you trying to stop me from killing Rabastan?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because it is a suicide mission!"
"Or is it because he is your family?" Marlene's voice wobbled as she tried to contain her tears that alone broke Sirius's heart, but her question drove a dragger to his heart. He would have expected anyone to doubt his intentions but Marlene.
"Do you actually believe that?" Sirius ignored the lump forming at the back of his throat.
"You've never shied away from some reckless plan; I don't understand why all of a sudden this seems like a suicide mission to you!" Marlene exclaimed, a tear dropping on her cheek which she quickly wiped away.
"I don't care what happens to me, but I do care what happens to you!" Sirius pleaded, extending his hand towards Marlene, who flinched away, getting up from the couch. Sirius followed her actions, his heart dropping to his stomach.
"Do you have no faith in me?" Marlene asked from between her teeth.
"Faith? This isn't about faith!" Sirius answered, his brows furrowed together.
"Are you protecting your family?" Marlene asked after a long pause.
"How could you even ask me that?" Sirius questioned back, his own tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
"THEN LOOK ME IN THE EYES," Marlene shouted, stepping closer to Sirius, her eyes widened, tears now freely rolling down her cheeks as she puffed out her chest, "AND TELL ME THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE KILLED RABASTAN IF HE KILLED REGELUS IN COLD BLOOD!"
"Marlene –" Sirius tried to tell her 'No' but deep down he knew he would have.
"TELL ME NO – I DARE YOU!" Marlene spat, her index finger jamming into Sirius's chest.
"Love –" Sirius held Marlene's hand in his own, in the hopes of calming her down.
"NO!" Marlene shouted, swatting Sirius's hand away. Her eyes burning up with rage, locked with Sirius's pleading eyes. Her muscle tightened; fists balled up to her side. Sirius could see it in her eyes how her rage burned inside her like a wildfire and he wondered if it would destroy her like wildfire destroys everything in its wake.
"I think we need to stop," Marlene sighed after what seemed like the longest pause. Her face turning stoic, but her eyes were still glistening with tears.
"Stop?" Sirius asked, he would gladly stop this nonsensical argument.
"We need to stop whatever is going on between us," Marlene said, Sirius stayed rooted to the ground, the impending feeling of doom hit him like a wrecking ball. Surely, he misunderstood Marlene, she couldn't mean their relationship.
"What do you mean?" Sirius's voice cracked.
"We are over," Marlene answered, lowering her head as she took a step away from Sirius to walk past him.
Without a second thought, Sirius caught her wrist, stopping her dead in her tracks. He didn't turn to look at her, he couldn't do it when tears rolled down his cheek and with the hurricane of feelings inside him. "Is it that easy to walk away from me?" he asked, turning to look at Marlene, who was already looking at him with eyes far colder than he had ever seen and it made goosebumps rise on his skin. "Am I too easy for you because I love you more than I have loved anything in my life?"
Marlene snatched her hand away from Sirius, her cold blue eyes looking at him. "We need to stop. You need to stop!" She ordered, and with quick steps, she exited the drawing room.
The loud bang of the front door, which signalled Marlene's exit, shattered Sirius's heart into millions of pieces, and he could feel the hollowness that Marlene left behind in her wake. He could feel his insides tearing, and the blood draining from his face.