Effie wasn't in the bar when I got there. She's not in town actually which made me worried. What if she comes back to Capitol with that guy? What if I hurt her so bad that she decided to leave us…me? She can't go back there. That place is not good for her. She will spiral down if she goes back there. I scoured the entire district for Effie until I finally found her sitting on the grass at The Meadow. I walked towards her letting her know that I'm approaching so I won't startle her.
"I've been looking for you", I said as I sat next to her.
"I know", she said still not looking at me.
"You do? You saw me and decided to hide?" I asked.
A little smile formed on her lips which is a nice sight to see once in a while.
"Something like that…look at this place", she answered.
I turned to where she's looking at and saw the sun about to set, orange light gracing the rest of The Meadow. It is beautiful.
"It's amazing how something this beautiful can come from something so horrible", she added.
I suddenly realized. This is where the Capitol dropped the bomb that killed thousands of people in my district. It is a mass grave we're sitting on and at the direction she's looking at is where the stage where she stood on used to be. There are a lot of bad things that happened in this place and yet here we are admiring the view for its beauty.
"You're right", I muttered.
I felt a hand over mine and I turned to her.
"I'm not going anywhere, Haymitch. I admit that the thought came to my mind last night but I can't imagine being apart from you and the kids", she said.
It's incredible how she can just feel what's bothering me without me telling her about it.
"What about your friend?" I asked. I kept it simple because I don't want to say something else that would upset her.
"Lucas went back to the Capitol earlier. He caught the last train back. He took care of everything. Things will be fine", she answered.
She's calm. It is a good thing but I can't stop wondering what happened. When Effie is upset, she doesn't shy from telling me how upset she is. This is a different side of her and it is making me nervous.
"Do you want to go back to the house? I think the kids and Johanna are a little worried about you", I asked and she agreed.
We walked back to the village with eyes following us. The people aren't still used to the idea of her living with us and me hanging with her. It will take time but at least, Effie is less affected by it now. She can walk by herself to town without having a panic attack. Johanna pulled her into an embrace when we reached the door. It's her way of thanking Effie for what she did to protect her. After that, Peeta cooked a delicious meal so we can all sat down together for dinner. Johanna talked about how she will have a hard time traveling back to District 4 because Effie, Katniss and Peeta gave her tons of gifts to bring to Annie and Finn. Peeta mentioned that his bakery might expand soon because of increasing demand and Katniss told about the new animals she saw in the woods. Effie remained quiet the whole time, just listening to their stories, laughing when they're joking, but didn't utter a single word.
Finally, we're alone in the house. The kids went back to their house with Johanna. Effie just finished cleaning up the kitchen and I'm done feeding the geese. Normally, we will watch a little bit of TV before going to bed but she didn't turn on the TV. She went upstairs and went to the balcony. I followed her and saw her smoking. She told me she's not going anywhere but I can feel the distance she's putting between us and I don't like it. We're not like this.
"You really don't need that stuff", I commented.
"I tried telling you that with your whisky", she snapped but it's not cold enough.
"…and I quit that for you", I snapped back.
She turned around with shocked look in her eyes. I never admitted that I did that for her and now I just did.
"It wasn't a dark prison, the one we're in, the four of us, so we can see what those Peacekeepers were doing to the others", she started but her voice is already shaking.
"You don't have to tell me", I tried to stop her but she raised her hand to stop me.
"No. I want to. No more secrets. I want to tell you everything now so nothing more will surprise you about me", she insisted so I rest my case. "They like beating Johanna because she always provoked them with her snarky remarks. Peeta will get beaten up for trying to make them stop and Annie for her constant crying. When they were beating me, it's always quick because they couldn't get any information from me and I thought, that's not fair. I couldn't bear to hear their screams anymore and their pain so I did my best to get their attention from the kids and I got beat up for it each time which was the goal. After they electrocuted Johanna and injected Peeta for the first time, I knew they couldn't take anything else or they will die, I begged Kyle and he took satisfaction from the fact that I was willing to do anything for them so he made me do his job. I killed the other people in that cell. Annie and Peeta were mostly passed out during those times so they don't know. When Paylor became the president, Kyle rose up the ranks and got in charged with the Capitol prisoners, those names' I handed to the new government. They thought it will be his punishment by treating his fellowmen the way he did to the rebels but he never cared for them so he made me poisoned each of them with a promise that he will not touch Peeta while he's doing therapy in the Capitol. There it is. Just so you know the person you're married to", she laid it all with the help of her cigarettes.
I walked towards her and took the stick from her hand and tossed it away.
"Oh, princess…I know exactly who I am married to and that's my annoying, colorful, and manner-obsessed escort who I love the most", I said.