~FLASHBACK~
Petyr sat on he large settee in his office while Sebastian comfortably stowed his feet on the coffee table beside his friend. Baelish peered at the amber liquid in his glass as he spoke, watched the light glisten through.
"I'm honestly surprised you haven't killed him yourself, Pop." Began Petyr without looking up from his drink.
The detective breathed out a laugh. "In my head I kill him every fifteen minutes. Fucking asshole!" Sebastian grumbled. "Seriously, Petyr, how can someone be that homophobic?"
Baelish shrugged. "Simple, he's a narcissistic prick that comes from a background where he was taught to hate anyone who wasn't exactly like him."
Pop didn't seem overly convinced as he shuffled a moment so he could pull a sucker from his back pocket and yanked the wrapper off.
"I still bet you if he saw two girls going at it he'd whip out a fucking camera."
Petyr smirked. "Oh, did I forget to mention hypocrite?"
The two men flashed a grin at one another, they'd been best friends since childhood and had the same sense of humor; Sebastian just hid his smirk better.
"You know," began the DS, "he tried to get Van moved to traffic duty when he found out him and Jefferson are best friends? Seems he'll fuck you over just for being polite to the faggot."
Petyr rolled his eyes and took a sip of whiskey. "Don't worry he'll be dead soon enough. If the Detective Inspector put half as much effort into defeating us than destroying gay men's and their friend's careers, Heyerdahl may actually stand a chance."
"Ooh!" Seb chuckled as he shifted to face his friend fully, his dark-eyes paused on the view of King's Landing; he'd always loved the view from Petyr's CEO office. "Do you remember when we were at university and everyone thought we were fucking until I started dating Jefferson?"
Petyr nodded. He'd have gone insane if Sebastian hadn't been his roommate – that was why he'd broken into the head office and changed the room arrangements.
"There was that girl, she kept trying to convert us – save our souls – and join that weird cult she got involved with. You remember?" Petyr nodded, something that strange he couldn't forget. "Eventually we got so sick of her that I spent the whole evening sat in your lap making jokes about sucking you off." That was the problem with Sebastian and Petyr, if someone pissed them off they'd push and push just for their own amusement. "What was her name? Something with a 'H' I think."
Petyr downed what was left of his drink and set the empty glass down on his coffee table near Sebastian's feet.
"Hmm." Petyr hummed in a slightly disgruntled tone. "My legs were dead all night but it was amusing to see her face. And her name was Hortensia, if I remember correctly."
Oh, Sebastian didn't doubt for one second that Petyr wasn't. Silence hung between them for a short time but it wasn't uncomfortable, not in the slightest. They'd been friends so long that no one save for their partners knew them as well. They did this from time to time, veered off topic and into their history.
"Times were simpler back then, I miss it."
Petyr sighed dramatically. "Don't get soft on me, Pop, it's not time to retire yet."
Two sets of eyes snapped up to Petyr's office door then as it opened to admit Sansa who held little Poppy in her arms; she looked so cute in her little red dress, like a tiny version of her mother. As soon as the door had closed Sebastian was up and across the room to lift Poppy into his arms. Seb could be dangerous when he wanted to be but most of the time he was a big kid; not that he'd ever admit it.
"There's my favourite goddaughter!" He beamed as Poppy happily snuggled closer.
"Uncle Bassy!"
Sansa left Sebastian and Poppy to it in favor of going to sit with her husband, both parents watched as Seb spun little Poppy around in a circle. No one would have ever expected these people of plotting a murder.
"Just so you know," Sansa started once she was in Petyr's comforting hold, "Varys is fishing for information on what's going on in here."
Neither the CEO nor the Detective Sergeant were concerned, if Varys was a problem they couldn't control they'd have tossed him into the fire years ago. Petyr just waved the comment off.
"Let him try. Gwendolyn is a brick wall it's why she's survived so long as my PA."
Seb flashed him that look, the one he'd seen so many times before. "Careful or I'll have to arrest you."
Petyr breathed out a laugh as his arm tightened around his beautiful wife. Gods, she smelt perfect.
"Please, you're the bent-est cop I've ever met."
Larroquette furrowed his brow in puzzlement a moment. "Pun intended?"
The man with ash at his temples shrugged. "Happy coincidence."
Sansa had grown steadily used to this, Petyr's and Sebastian's constant underlying innuendos. At first she'd not understood half of them, then she'd been a little uncomfortable but now Sansa just took it at face value.
"Does Detective Heyerdahl suspect anything?" She asked quietly.
Seb shook his head as he continued to bounce Poppy happily.
"No, he's a fucking moron. He won't see it coming until it smacks him in the face."
Petyr's face grew stern then and Sansa actually felt him tense slightly. "I'll thank you not to swear two inches from my daughter's face, Pop. Someone in my bloodline has to stay innocent after all."
"No way in Hell anyone, three year old or otherwise, in your bloodline is innocent." Petyr's expression didn't change even a little. "Okay, yeah, sorry." He turned his attention back to Sansa. "Heyerdahl hasn't got any idea what's coming, Red, promise. He can't even figure out I've got Vandeveer keeping an eye on him."
Sansa peered up at her husband. "This is all going to work, right?"
Baelish smiled down at his beautiful redhead then pressed a kiss to her forehead while Sebastian flashed the younger woman a concerned expression. The detective crossed the room with Poppy in his arms and sat down so Sansa was between himself and Petyr; he rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Pop's right," began Petyr, "Heyerdahl knows nothing of what's coming. With your beauty and my brain we can do anything, remember?" That got a chuckle out of both his wife and his best friend. "Once we kill Oren Heyerdahl, Sebastian will be almost instantly promoted to Detective Inspector by the commissioner as he should have been years ago. He'll be in a position to get Vandeveer promoted then."
Sebastian nodded. "He's right. Once that happens not only will a thorn be out of our sides but we'll have more power over Westeros then the Lannisters ever did. Also, with Tyrion in Essos we basically control that too."
Petyr smirked in that way of his. "In medieval times you'd be my queen, Sweetling."
Sansa cuddled in closer. "I'm just happy being your wife."
Sebastian just smiled lovingly at the couple, he'd always thought Sansa utterly adorable. At first he'd just seen her as meek and somewhat annoying but then Sebastian had come to discover the loyalty and courage hidden deep within her.
"Modesty," Pop began with a smile so few got to see while Poppy crawled away from him to her parents, "that's why Sansa's adorable." He took pity on Poppy and just placed her on Petyr's knee. "When you asked me to be your best man it took me like three days to get over the fact that someone could actually tie you down. Shit, Lysa had this whole plan that you'd marry her by the time you got out of high school. Shame you didn't see the prom, Red." He told Sansa with a chuckle. "At first I told him to just take me, the idea of making her watch while he slow danced with me was just too good, but our resident Machiavellian here spent weeks – maybe months – conning the cheerleading captain into liking him and it damn well worked. Gods, I wish I'd taken pictures."
Petyr rolled his eyes at Sebastian's reminiscing. "You make it sound as though our only purpose in life was to irritate Lysa."
Detective Larroquette shrugged. "It kind of was for a while there. Anyway, this one-" he pointed to Sansa still sat with her husband and daughter "- is totally worth being it."
Sansa smiled quietly to herself, she still didn't believe she had this family sometimes. It wasn't just Petyr and the children, it was Sebastian and Jefferson as well. Even Van and in a way she had Gwendolyn and Olyvar too; Ros if she was in the mood to play nice. So much of her life had been darkness and torture, horror and pain, that, even though it had been years, Sansa still felt as though all this was a dream. A mirage that would fade eventually or perhaps she'd actually succeeded in choking herself to death under Joffrey Baratheon's bed and this was her brain's attempt at a peaceful last moment before it all went black. Honestly, how would she really know?
The redhead snuggled Poppy closer while the boys carried on talking. She no longer feared pain, not because she'd grown used to it – though that had been a factor – but because she'd come to learn not all pain was necessarily bad. Giving birth to Poppy had been painful, agonizing even, but it had been a good pain, a pain she'd happily suffer through again because it had given her their daughter. It hadn't been pain for someone's sick pleasure, it had been pain to give their child life and Sansa wouldn't change Poppy for the world. That little girl was the only one who could make the mighty Petyr Baelish cave in seconds; even Sansa couldn't get him to do that. No, pain itself wasn't evil but the horrid people who inflicted it just so they could hurt someone were.
She wasn't sure how long she'd been in her thoughts, her blue eyes heavily focused on little Poppy. All Sansa knew was that when she actually started listening again the boys seemed to have left their tangent of a conversation and had gotten back to business. Good, thought the young mother, we haven't got too much longer until we have to do this.
"... you have incriminating voice recordings, yes?" Asked Petyr as he ran a hand through his youngest's hair; Sebastian nodded curtly.
"Of course. I've been building up quite the little inventory of them." The detective informed proudly. "He's fuc-" He cut himself off a second. His eyes flicked from his best friend, down to Poppy and then back before he amended himself. "He's screwed."
~END FLASHBACK~