Warnings: Explicit sexual scenes and light mentions of past abuse.
A/N: Happy new year everybody.
Chapter 27 – Secrets V
Kira
The walk to the 9th Division barracks was emotionally intense. Shuuhei was holding his hand firmly ignoring all the shinigami who looked their way. If someone had told Izuru a few months earlier that this was going to happen, he would have thought they were crazy. Even at this moment, he was expecting to wake up at any time because Shuuhei kissing him outside and walking him to his place in the middle of Seireitei, was too good to be real.
Shuuhei accepted him back, and was showing the world that they were together…
Looking at their connected hands, he breathed in relief. Shuuhei came after him.
Shuuhei still wanted him!
They were silent until they arrived at Shuuhei's home. And… It was obvious that Shuuhei was not alright for a long time as Izuru looked at his surroundings. Clutter and dirty dishes in the sink and table; empty bottles of saké on the floor that lead to leaving room; discarded shihakushou, and Shuuhei's unmade futon in the middle of the room surrounded by more bottles of saké and paper.
Even the plant at the windowsill had dried. Izuru touched the dry leaves and sighed as they broke in his hand. Shuuhei was a clumsy person at home, but was someone tidy and clean. At times, even more than him. Seeing this was just… it break his heart somehow.
"Sorry about the mess," Shuuhei said picking up of some of the bottles and taking them to the kitchen.
Izuru walked around the room. There were a lot of news drafts on his desk, next to the unplugged laptop, along old reports. Beneath them, something caught his eye, - the corner of a brown book, a journal.
This couldn't be… his eyes widened as he grabbed the book and instantaneously recognized what it was.
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Shuuhei
Since their return to Seireitei, Shuuhei was confused and in distress. He was offered to take a few days off due to what he had been through at Hueco Mundo, but he was pretty sure that Kensei could just smell the alcohol in his breath and see that the dark circles around his eyes weren't just because he was tired.
He lingered throughout Seireitei with no purpose or destination. All he wanted was to close his eyes, and turn back in time to when it was him and Kira in the human world. Before everything became so fucked up.
He could walk to any direction, but every single time he would return to the same location – Kira's house.
Hiding there was soothing and chaotic at the same time. He spent hours in the darkness of the leaving room trying to make sense of the past year since the moment of the Taichou betrayal. He had thought many times, how could he had missed Tousen's betrayal. Yeah, sure the accounting was strange, there was a lot of money missing from the squad, but Tousen's actions… he never gave it away. And Kira knew he was a traitor, how?
What was really screwing Shuuhei's head was actually how did he miss this whole thing with Kira?! He was so sure that Ichimaru was keeping the end of the bargain, but he wasn't… he was hurting Kira in terrible ways… and Kira… why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he come to him for help?
The boxes with Ichimaru's belongings were still there, still in Kira's house. Why did he kept them? Did he forgave him? Did Kira saw that video as well? Was he ever in love with Ichimaru? To the point of protecting him? Was he still in love?
Frowning in pain, Shuuhei got up and went to the boxes. He was going to destroy them, burn them.
Outside the barracks, he tossed the clothes, books and personal belongings inside the garbage dispensal and lit them on fire. He watched the flames engulfing it all, and he threw the contents of the second box as well. By the time he threw the contents of the third box, a few books fell. As he picked them up and threw them in the fire, he saw one of them had opened. It was a notebook with a familiar hand-writing.
'Kira Izuru's journal.'
It was old, and fully written. The first pages went back to when Kira joined the Academy. It had haikus and inspirational quotes. It told many stories from the blond's daily life as a student.
'I think I like him...' was the description of a particular day. The more Shuuhei read, the more he realized that he was him. Kira wasn't lying when he said he liked him for a long time. Shit… they could've been together for so long… he was so stupid… if he pursued him further, they would've been together, and Ichimaru would've never got to him.
The pages continued until Kira joined the 5th Division. From that point on the pages became blank and then a new handwriting appeared.
'I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you-"
It continued like this until the end. Shuuhei threw the journal across the field.
"Fuck you!" he yelled. How could Ichimaru write that? Did Izuru saw this? Is this why he kept his belongings? Did he forgave him?
He knelt down grabbing his head.
Then why did Izuru forgave Ichimaru and didn't trust Shuuhei? Why didn't he tell him sooner?
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Kira
"Izuru?" Shuuhei's voice was low as he saw what was in his hand. He gulped and came closer leaning against the desk. "I found that among Ichimaru's stuff."
"Did you read it?"
Shuuhei nodded. The journal itself didn't say anything that Izuru went through, but it was the catalyst of all the pain and agony he suffered. It was shocking that Shuuhei had it.
He had a lump in his throat hat he had to get rid off.
"It was a little after I joined the 5th that Ichimaru found out that I loved you. With this," he held the journal up. "He black mailed me, and made me do things in exchange of his silence. He made me believe that loving a man was an abomination, and that if you'd found out, you would hate me."
Shuuhei stood quiet looking right through him as he spoke.
"I was so afraid of being rejected by you that I did everything he asked… no matter how humiliating it was... I couldn't let anyone know about my feelings, because he threatened to hurt you. I don't know if he would hurt you, but just the possibility of that happening was not an option for me.
"I chose to endure it, because that meant you were safe, and that meant you would never found out."
Izuru licked his lips nervously as he looked down at the notebook.
"I only discovered what they were going to betray us the day before Aizen faked his death. I heard a conversation between Aizen and Tousen. I thought I lot about that day... it was obvious I was there, it was their intention for me to know and listen to their conversation. I just never understood why until recently."
Izuru sighed and leaned against the desk as well.
"I know that you saw the video in Hueco Mundo." he added, and felt Shuuhei tensing next to him. "I think that Aizen knew what Ichimaru was doing to me and wanted to guarantee that I was compromisedand made sure he had leverage on me. He probably suspected that Ichimaru had a plan B related to me."
"Ichimaru didn't love you," Shuuhei said, "that video is a bunch of bullshit."
"Maybe. Honestly, I don't think I will ever know the truth. And it's okay, because I know who I am, and even with all these fights and struggles, I'm no longer scared. And it's all thanks to you."
Shuuhei scowled.
"Me? I didn't do anything. I waited for you to return from Hueco Mundo when you were kidnapped, I let you go away when you were under the influence of the Negativa, I let you battle the enemy alone. Even your trial you were alone, you fought so hard, while I just stood there watching and doing nothing. I… I don't deserve you…"
"Shuuhei!" Izuru stood in front of him and grabbed his head with both hands. "What are you saying? You're the reason I fought, what kept me going. Knowing that I would come back to you, and that you were alive.
"Shuuhei, I love you so much, I will do anything for you." Izuru closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against Shuuhei's. "Anything. I'll go against the world for you."
"Izuru," Shuuhei hugged him and hid his face in Izuru's neck. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
Shuuhei's breathing faltered, tears running across his cheeks.
They hugged each other tight. Shuuhei didn't have anything to apologize for. He was so hard with himself.
"You have a stupid debt to the 1st Division because you destroyed Soutaichou's office. You were in house arrest because of me, you could've been demoted." it would've killed Shuuhei inside if that happened. "You did all you could, while I… I was the one who believed in the enemy and made it easier for them to get the crystal. I..."
Shuuhei kissed his temple, soothing him, his eyes red and teary. They were both so dumb. All of this ache… if two people loved each other it should be easy, right? Izuru trembled against Shuuhei.
"You know what we need? A fresh start, no more hiding and no more secrets. I just… I don't want you to think I'm a coward. I love you and I will never leave you alone again. No matter what."
Izuru nodded and tip-toed to meet Shuuhei's lips, his arms circling his neck pulling him closer.
He loved Shuuhei more than anything in the world. He never knew how someone could control his heart so easily, but Shuuhei did.
Shuuhei immediately responded to the kiss by licking his lips and meeting Izuru's tongue into a mind-blowing kiss.
Shuuhei's hand gently went down and then squeezed his ass, earning a sound from the back of his throat. The air was getting heavier as they kissed, the feeling of Shuuhei's tongue against his own was his weakness, he couldn't resist the taste leaning his head into a deeper kiss.
Shuuhei's other hand held his face not allowing him to leave, - as if he would – his fingers traced his jaw and slightly put pressure on his chin to keep his mouth opened. His lover's tongue dart into small licks, followed by a playful nibble in the lower lip.
Izuru met him in a rough kiss, tracing his lips, cheeks and jawline with his mouth. He bit Shuuhei's neck as he inhaled the wonderful scent coming out of him. Shuuhei stopped him for a second as he removed the explosive choker and took the opportunity of removing all of the others safely. And Izuru was back at his neck nipping and lapping all he could.
"Izuru, can we?"
Yes, damn, they could!
He nodded frenzied, as he was pulled up by his ass to the unmade futon. His own hands were all over Shuuhei removing all the clothes in their way, and his mouth continued his work across the tanned torso, nipping and sucking his clavicle and then his nipples. Shuuhei shivered gleefully and removed Izuru's shitagi. The blond's mouth didn't leave him one second, going down to belly button and reaching the edge of the hakama. In a swift move he removed Shuuhei's obi and the rest of the uniform.
Shuuhei was so hot, his body so perfect. The precious v-line in his hips leading to a pulsing cock against the fundoshi. Izuru felt he was going crazy as he watched the bulge twitch. He never saw himself as a sexual person for obvious reasons, but Shuuhei made him go insane. He just… he loved that cock. He leaned forward mouthing the clothed length.
"Oh," Shuuhei gasped.
Freeing Shuuhei of any clothes, he couldn't help but stare at the pre-cum sliding in the head, and he licked closing his eyes.
"Hmm," he sucked the head earning a serious of gasps, and "oh fuck"s in return. He licked the cock up and down, teasing all the sensitive spots with the tip of his tongue. He loved the taste, and loved the smell so so much. He swallowed Shuuhei's dick as deep as he could, sucking and moving his head up and down.
"You're so good at this," Shuuhei said, and he felt like smiling. Being sexually complimented was something he was not used to, at least in a non-demeaning way. "Let me do it too, come here." Shuuhei turned to his side and removed the rest of Izuru's clothes. The blond didn't stop what he was doing as he let himself being man-handled. He could feel Shuuhei's breath against him and soon, he also felt his mouth on him.
He groaned as Shuuhei eagerly sucked him, moaning as he deep throated Shuuhei. He couldn't concentrate much as his lover's mouth took him to heaven.
Izuru whimpered as Shuuhei stopped to look for something around, as we with arm go through the nearest draw and removed a used bottle of lube. Shuuhei must have understood what he was thinking because he immediately explained.
"Lonely nights," and before he could say anything he was back at his cock, and so was Izuru. He sucked the tip, then the whole member. Exploring fingers probed his behind, and Shuuhei re-positioned them so he was laying underneath Izuru. It was still humiliating to be in the pose, his ass facing Shuuhei who was now kissing his tights and sucking his balls. Shuuhei's finger started entering him, and Izuru closed his eyes leaning against the cock. The finger slowly moved in and out, going further every time it went in.
"What an amazing view, your ass is so-"
"No, don't say that."
"Why? It's true, I just want to eat you," he inserted another finger mesmerized.
"Then do it," he moved his dick to Shuuhei's face. He blushed madly at his own actions, but he knew that Shuuhei was talking about another part of his body, and he couldn't allow it. Not now, it was so damn embarrassing.
Shuuhei took his cock to his mouth, and continued his work with his fingers. It reach a point where they went in easily and it kind of felt good. Izuru remembered the other times they had sex, how amazing it felt. Last time, when they were at Hueco Mundo, Shuuhei had done him against the wall and the feeling inside… he wanted to feel him again. He wanted Shuuhei to do him the same.
"Shuuhei?" he looked down at Shuuhei's blushed face. He was as needy as he was.
They moved around so Izuru was laying down facing Shuuhei who positioning himself between his legs.
"You're so beautiful. I'm so lucky to have you, I love you so much!"
"I love you, Shuuhei." he was the lucky one for getting this wonderful man, but he couldn't say it as he felt Shuuhei entering him. He closed his eyes in discomfort, and gasped as Shuuhei gave him small trusts, until he could fully sheath himself. Izuru wrapped his legs around Shuuhei's waist.
"Ah.. ah…"
The feeling of being pampered, of Shuuhei kissing him deeply as he thrust in need… His breathing rapid, and his hunger was so obvious devouring Izuru's mouth. Thrust after thrust looking and exploring for that spot and reach a point where Izuru couldn't stop moan. Shuuhei knew exactly how it felt good, and he kept grinding the same way over and over, until tears fell from Izuru's eyes.
His voice was completely out of control, his hands grabbing and scratching Shuuhei's back, almost to a bleeding state, but Shuuhei didn't stop. It was actually being too much, as Izuru felt his insides over-sensitive. Shuuhei was brutal in every movement, and Izuru couldn't talk.
"Sh-Shuu- I-I" he could only moan, he wished Shuuhei stopped because he was afraid that he was about to die, but at the same time, he just wanted more.
Shuuhei was much more intense than he normally was, his hands everywhere, grabbing his legs and ass cheek hard, his mouth eating him alive.
It was too much, Izuru couldn't move his legs, as they trembled uncontrollably, and the heat building inside him.
"Izuru..." Shuuhei grunted not stopping. "Reiatsu… careful." he hadn't even notice, his own reiatsu spiking and honestly he couldn't control it anymore.
His eyes were tearing, and he shut them down tightly as he reached the limit. Warm stripes of cum hit his stomach and chest, followed by a warm tongue licking everywhere it could without stopping the thrusting. Shuuhei's mouth moved to his own, as he came with a final thrust, moaning against his tongue.
This was the most utterly extraordinary experience he ever had.
What this is the make up sex people always talked about?
It took a couple of minutes before Shuuhei pulled out and hid his face in Izuru's neck.
"I fucking love you, don't leave me," he whispered against his skin.
"I will never do that," Izuru whispered back. How could he? After all they have been through? So many decades loving him, dreaming about him. Now they were together, and Shuuhei didn't want him to leave him.
He would never fucking do it.
Eventually, Shuuhei cleaned them the best he could with his discarded shitagi, and laid next to him holding each him. Izuru wanted to comment that they should actually take a shower, but didn't want to leave the warmth of Shuuhei's embrace.
They talked about sweet and foolish things. Like how cute was Izuru's reiatsu burst during sex or how much cum could someone release. Shuuhei made him laugh like no one could, this beautiful specimen who was so selfless and doubted himself when he had the courage of doing something for himself.
Izuru was so in love with him.
"You know when you were under the influence of the crystal in the sky, for a minute, it kind of scared me," Shuuhei spoke against his hair. "Seeing you emotionless, and so powerful. I was afraid it wasn't you again."
"For a moment it wasn't me," Izuru looked up facing his lover. "I was controlling until Yun attacked me with the cero, then I realized it was his zanpakutou just like the first time..." there were so many horrible memories from that time, killing, and hurting Matsumoto's child… "but this time it was different, because… Shuuhei?"
"Yes?"
"I want to tell you something, I don't want any more secrets between us. It's a fresh start, like you said, right?"
"Yes, no more secrets."
"Okay," he breathed deeply, there were many things he wanted to get it out of his chest. "The reason I was able to get back the control was Wabisuke. I…" he lowered his voice. "I achieved Bankai."
"Really?" Shuuhei frowned, but then smirked. "I knew it."
"Wait, how did you knew?"
"You were about to use it before Urahara showed up. I knew I heard you saying Bankai." oh yeah… he was going to release his power before Shuuhei could kneel and help with the seal. "How is it?"
"Strange… I mean, I haven't released it outside my inner world, but it's not good."
"Not good?"
"Let's say, it's not 4th Squad worthy."
"Oh, that kind of not good." then Shuuhei hugged him, turning them around so he laid on top. "I'm so proud of you." the words meant the world to him. "My boyfriend, the strongest shinigami."
"Not really, I just…"
"You were for a while. In that battlefield, you were able to hold against everyone. It was amazing."
It was. What he experienced during that moment with the crystal was beyond anything he could imagine. The reiatsu flowing in him, he remembered every single detail. All his cells vibrating, his senses enhanced a thousand times.
"So amazing covered in blood… it was like a horror movie."
"Yeah, pretty cool." Shuuhei laughed with a wolfish grin. They both knew the seriousness of the situation, but Izuru was glad that Shuuhei was joking with him. Just like old times, before things were difficult.
Shuuhei captured his mouth in a wet kiss that made him moan once again. Every single touch from his lover was overwhelming. Izuru breathed deeply and slightly pushed him away.
"I have another thing to tell you, and this one is a bit… it's about Grimmjow," He couldn't hold it anymore, what he did in order to be able to go back home.
"… Okay..." Shuuhei laid back on his side, his hand holding his head. He bit his lip nervously with a frown marking his forehead.
"So, the first time I went to Hueco Mundo, I..." And Izuru told Shuuhei everything, from the sappy story the Negativa told him, to the password and the video, to Grimmjow finding him, and making him heal Ulquiorra, and the Garganta. By the end of it, Shuuhei was holding him again pressing kisses in his temple.
"Am I a bad person?"
"No, of course not. You did what you had to do to come home. It actually paid of to help the Espada."
"Yes, but…" he breathed deeply, it was true, in the end Ulquiorra and Grimmjow were a great help, he hoped they wouldn't cause problems in the future, though.
It felt good to tell all of these things that were making him worry. "These are my secrets, Shuuhei. I don't have anything else… What about you, boyfriend?" Izuru teased him while he straddled him and ran his hands across the firm tanned chest. "Do you have any secrets?"
Shuuhei rolled his eyes, "I don't know… I'm not cool enough to have bankai or have weird Espada friends."
"Hey!" Izuru feigned hurt, and clawed Shuuhei's pecs, moving his hips slowly.
"Ouch." Shuuhei moaned and then just stared at him, for a second his eyes flickered and then moved back to him. "Actually, there's something, but I don't think I can say it while you're moving like that."
"Like what?" Izuru said moving slowly back and forward.
"Like that," Shuuhei said trying to sit, but Izuru pushed him down. He never did anything remotely sexy before, but he was enjoying the teasing, and the flush in Shuuhei's face.
"Shit. You're so hot," Shuuhei whispered.
"You seem ready for round 2," Izuru said as he ground against Shuuhei's hard cock. Looking down, the head red in need glistening with pre-cum. His bottom ache from the intensity of before, but Izuru was sure he wanted more. Shuuhei moaning beneath him was too exciting.
"Oh baby, I want you to ride me." Izuru laid down giving him open-mouthed kisses as he grabbed the lube. He didn't stop the kissing as he coated Shuuhei's dick with the liquid gaining several gasps from Shuuhei. Izuru had learned that Shuuhei had a lot of stamina for sex, and he could go for a couple of rounds recovering in a short amount of time. Shuuhei was great at sex, and in every single round he was as horny as he was in the beginning.
Izuru guided Shuuhei's cock to his entrance as Shuuhei sucked his tongue. He whimpered in pain as the head went through his sore bottom. The pain sufficed as he moved up and down, the slick member making him feel whole. Shuuhei was so handsome as he thrust up.
"Izuru, touch yourself," and sheepishly Izuru did. As he leaned backwards to reposition his leg, the sweet sweet feeling happened again. He almost wanted to cry as his over-stimulated prostate was hit again and again. Shuuhei thrust up the moment he realized what was happening, and Izuru couldn't stop jacking off and the rhythm of the thrusts. "You're so hot, you're cock is so sexy." Shuuhei kept saying as he pounded him harder and stared at his hand moving. "I want you to fuck me." he said, and Izuru thought he was hearing things. Shuuhei sat down, but kept moving Izuru's hips with his hands, "Will you? Will you fuck me with that pretty cock of yours?"
"Sh-Shuu…"
He tried to kiss him the best he could, but all he could feel was Shuuhei's warm and smell as he climaxed all over his hand and their stomachs.
Shuuhei pushed him forward pining him down, and thrust wildly. He basked in his neck, kissing, sucking and biting hard enough to hurt. After a couple of more moves he came deeply inside Izuru.
They didn't move for a while, - only for Shuuhei to pull it off – Izuru was sure he was close to passing out at any moment, but a thought came to mind, Shuuhei's secret. He gulped as he opened his eyes.
"Shuuhei, did you mean it?" His lover grunted as he opened one eye lazily. "About me… doing it to you?"
And Shuuhei's grin melted him inside, "Oh yeah, I mean it!" he grabbed the back of his blond head and with a last strength, kissed him before Izuru fell asleep.
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Uryuu
Kurosaki stirred in his arms.
Uryuu was sure that the sound that came out of his throat was humiliating, but he couldn't help but groan and hug Ichigo. The substitute shinigami was groggy as he rose from the endless sleep, but hugged him back.
"Thank god," Uryuu murmured relieved. Feeling those strong arms around him, it took him over the edge.
"What happened?" Ichigo asked.
He just grabbed his face with both hands, and scowled. He wanted to yell at him for leaving him, for… for… for dying! All logical thought overwritten by emotions.
Uryuu woke up from his dream. The same dream he had almost every night since he battle in Hueco Mundo.
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Uryuu revised one last time the test in his hand before taking it to the teacher. It wasn't a particular hard test, but he knew he wasn't going to score the highest grade, his headache prevented any form of concentration.
The teacher accepted the sheets, and he excused himself to go to the bathroom, ignoring the persistent stare he was feeling since he arrived that day. Ichigo's gaze followed him everywhere, maybe judging or simply wondering… Ichigo had to know his doubts, had to question why he was feeling down, and why he was avoiding him.
In the empty bathroom, Uryuu removed his glasses and turned the faucet on, splashing cold water in his face.
His hands trembled, as he looked himself in the mirror. He was so exhausted from the previous week. The war between the Shinigami and Negativa had taken a toll on him. This wasn't the type of life he wanted anymore. Being a Quincy was something he always felt pride, he was the heir of this amazing ability, but if it meant that he had to be involved with the Shinigami again, he would prefer not to be a Quincy anymore.
The turmoil was too big for someone of his age. Studying and going to a good university should be his priority, not fighting and getting injured. Or watch someone he cared dying…
He was on the verge of being crushed by so many things going on. It was freaking too much. He wished he was a normal kid, like everyone else at school.
The bathroom door opened and Ichigo went inside, obviously.
"Here you are."
Uryuu cleaned his wet face and put himself together, before turning to face him.
"How did it go? I think I got question 3 wrong," Ichigo said.
"Was alright."
Uryuu didn't feel like talking to the other boy since they returned from Hueco Mundo. He had no doubts that he liked him back, that he wanted them to be together. When Ichigo died, his entire world crumbled down, but what happened afterwords, just… it was just wrong. He didn't know how to convey this to Ichigo. The substitute shinigami really believed that siding with Urahara was the right thing, and Uryuu understood at that point that Ichigo would never be on his side, because Uryuu's side wasn't black or white, wasn't Quincy or Shinigami, wasn't good or bad. It was what was fair, and fairness was always a matter of perspective.
He didn't want to lose Ichigo, but he also didn't want to feel like this uneasiness again.
"Are you okay?" Ichigo asked concerned.
"Yes," Uryuu replied and then smiled, "let's go to the rooftop."
Ichigo frowned hesitant, but still followed him.
The sky was clouded and the wind blew cold. They were close to winter, already wearing long sleeved shirts. He gulped heavily and turned around to face the other boy. He had to be strong for what he was about to do.
"Ichigo-"
"No."
"What?" he wasn't even able to say anything.
"Whatever reason you give me, I won't accept it." Ichigo said, then looked down sadly. "You want to break up, right?"
Of course, he knew this. Ichigo always knew everything.
"Yes."
"Because of Hueco Mundo?"
"As well."
Ichigo sighed and crossed his arms. "You know why I did what I did, Urahara knows what he's doing. I trust him, even if you don't. It doesn't mean I don't get why you decided to stand by Kira-san. I get it."
"I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to be connected to any Shinigami," Uryuu burst, "I was targeted by the Negativa because they could feel my disdain for the Shinigami, I don't want any of that."
"So, to part away from the Shinigami, you want to break up."
It stung how Ichigo was so direct.
"You will always attract battles, it's your destiny. I asked you before if you had to choose between me and them, who would you stand by, and you told me-"
"I chose you."
"Yes, but you can't choose me. I can't make you choose something that is meant to be. I like you, Kurosaki. Like like you. When you died, part of me also died. You made me feel things I never thought I could. You made me so happy, but..."
It had to end. Because he couldn't face this anymore, if they stayed together he would always show the worst side of him, they would clash over and over, and eventually… eventually Ichigo would leave him…
"If I make you happy, why breaking up? I chose you, and I still do. You're the reason I want to be strong, to protect you, - even if you don't need protection – I want to make sure the world is safe for us."
Shit, why was Ichigo making things so hard? Why didn't he just accept the end.
"At Hueco Mundo, Rukia confessed to me."
Uryuu's eyes widened. What-the-fuck?
"I told her that I was in love with you, and that we were together. And she asked me why you, and I'm going to tell you what I told her: because Ishida completes me."
Uryuu was clenching his fists trying not to shake.
"I won't stop being a shinigami substitute, and I won't stop asking for your help, because we are a team. I love you for what you are, and you like me Ishida. I make you happy, so I'll ask again why breaking up?"
"Because I will hurt you."
"How do you know that?"
Because he knew he was going to screw things up.
Kurosaki uncrossed his arms and walked fast pulling his arm, and forcing him into a kiss. Uryuu had no strength to fight against it.
"I love you, Uryuu. I want to live a normal life with you. I want us to go to college together and enjoy life… together."
Uryuu breathed heavily against him, and closed his eyes kissing him back.
He was afraid of being left out, of ending up alone. He was afraid that every time Ichigo kissed him, he liked him less, he was afraid that if Ichigo touched him too much, he would realize that Uryuu was a boy and would finding him disgusting.
Ichigo kissed him sweetly, groaning against his lips. Uruyy moved his hands to the strawberry blond's hair deepening the kiss and opening his mouth. Ichigo's hands were in his back holding him against him; the tip of his tongue looking for his. He melted into the feeling. With Ichigo in that moment he was safe.
They kissed slowly, until the bell rang.
"Let's go home together."
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The rain poured non stop and they ran to Uryuu's house. A huge lightning followed by a thunder burst close as they went inside the flat.
"The power is out," Uryuu stated as he tried to turn on the lights. This was bad, without power, they wouldn't be able to use the heater. Ichigo was holding himself, completely wet shivering. If they didn't so something about it, they would end up sick.
"Do you want to take a bath?"
Ichigo smirked, and scratched his nose. "Together?" and silence filled the room, Uryuu was speechless, and was really glad that his house was dark, because he was sure he was blushing like crazy. Bathing with Ichigo was just… oh my god… "I'm kidding, ha ha ha," Ichigo added as he took Uryuu's silence as a negative answer. The Quincy bit his lower lip, he was disappointed, without understanding why. He just… he just… he guess he wouldn't mind it…
"We can," he coughed, "together."
Ichigo stiffened and spoke lowly, "Really?"
"Yes, it's really cold, if we don't get warmer soon it will be bad."
The silence was thick absorbing the tiniest of sounds. Uryuu was sure that his heart beat could be heard from miles away.
Ichigo filled the tub with hot water, as he looked for his flashlight to enlighten the bathroom. By the time he returned to bathroom, Ichigo was already without his shirt and removing his pants. The substitute shinigami's back muscles were flexing as he moved and well defined. Ichigo became so big in the past year, no matter how much Uryuu trained, he wasn't able to build muscle like him.
His eyes went down to the small of his back and then to the boxer briefs he was using, framing his butt, and he felt his cheeks getting warm. He had stolen glances when Kurosaki changed for P.E. classes, but it wasn't like this. Right now, it was so much more intimate. Kurosaki undressing himself in his bathroom, about to take a bath with him…
Ichigo turned around, and Uryuu broke the stare. He cleared his throat, and gave the him the flashlight.
"I don't have any candles."
"This works, at least we can conserve the cellphones battery. The water is ready."
They stood in an awkward silence.
"You should remove your clothes."
Uryuu looked down, and must have hesitated has Ichigo seem to realize his doubts and turned around. They were both guys, there was nothing wrong in undressing before each other. But this was different, wasn't it? He was basically getting naked with his boyfriend. Grabbing all the inner courage possible, he removed his shirt and then his pants, and socks.
Ichigo slowly turned around, putting the flashlight in the corner of the tub, lightening solely the water. Uryuu was grateful for the darkness, because he couldn't take his eyes out of Ichigo's silhouette as the boy removed his boxer briefs. Ichigo was naked in front of him. Ichigo was completely naked in front of him.
"Want to go in first?" the boy asked him, and Uryuu had to clear his throat before replying. "You go first."
"Alright." Ichigo turned around and went inside the tub carefully sitting in the water. "It's really hot."
Taking the opportunity of the other's distraction, Uryuu finally decided to take off his underwear and entered the tub, sitting across Ichigo.
They stayed once again in silence in the cramped bathtub, their legs intertwining each other. The thought of their position was so damn out of this world that Uryuu was afraid that his body would betray him, and show Ichigo his most indecent side.
"Uryuu," Ichigo spoke, his voice was low. "I-" as he was about to speak, Ichigo knocked the flashlight inside the tub, turning the room instantaneously dark. "Damn!" He started looking for the item with his hands, and Uryuu joined him. Limbs in the way, splash of water wetting the floor, until Ichigo found it and turned it on.
"Here," he said pointing at them. With all the commotion Uryuu didn't realize how close they were together. Ichigo was handsome, his face sincere, his mouth parted. He was never attracted to anyone before, until now. Was he gay? Because he was sure now he was totally gay for Ichigo. And Ichigo… Ichigo loved him…
Uryuu leaned forward, and touched Ichigo's face. With no hesitation he pressed their lips together. Ichigo's reaction was immediate, as he circled his arms around Uryuu pulling him closer. Uryuu grabbed Ichigo by his neck, as he parted his lips and let Ichigo's tongue in.
They breathing became harder and heavier, and he moved slightly straddling Ichigo's legs. Heat grow in the middle of his legs, and he was now feeling that he wasn't the only one excited. Ichigo's mouth didn't leave his as they kissed more urgent, rapidly.
Gaining the little sense he had, he halted, panting. "We should stop." Ichigo leaned back and nodded. "Can we stay like this?" he asked, and Uryuu could only answer "Yes." and leaned against him, holding him into a hug.
Life was confusing. Growing up was complicated, growing up as a Quincy? Nerve-wracking! Being in love? Well, if this was being in love then he wanted more. But he was afraid… afraid of losing this feeling. He hoped that Ichigo wouldn't change his mind, wouldn't regret being with him.
Ichigo chose him over Rukia.
Life was confusing and love was fragile. But that was the point of life, living and keeping fighting for what was right, for the feelings we felt, stand by what we believed.
At this moment, the only thing Uryuu knew was that he wasn't alone anymore, and that he would treasure Ichigo with all his power.
0000000000
Renji
His deinreshiki rang for the third time in less than one hour. The 12th Squad finally made them operational at Soul Society and now he spent his days just on his phone.
"'Sup Rukia?"
"Hey Renji, do you have time to meet today?"
"Today is complicated. Is everything alright?"
Her voice was low, but calm.
"Yes, I just wanted to talk to you about something that happened."
"Is it about Kuchiki-taichou?"
"No, still no information about him. It's something that happened with me. Can we talk later?"
"I will call you once I'm free."
"Thanks." she hang up. Strange, generally Rukia was not this enigmatic.
A lot had happened in the past week. The most exciting one being that Kira and Hisagi were out and the Shinigami Female Association was hunting them for photos. Most of the Seireitei seemed ok with it, apart from the usual homophobic assholes. The cowards though, wouldn't say anything too loud, as nobody was stupid enough to trash-mouth two Fukutaichous.
During this period of time, Renji was the acting Taichou in the 6th Division, waiting to receive any news from Byakuya. The noble had been released at the Kuchiki clan's care, but he didn't show up at the 6th so far. As Rukia said, she also had no info about him. He was getting worried about him by the minute.
"Abarai-Fukutaichou, it will take a bit more time. You can go back, I can return on my own," Rikichi spoke as his arm was being bandaged. During their spar, Renji had hurt him and took him to the forth squad.
"I'll wait," Renji said, it was his fault, he wouldn't leave him behind. "I will be outside, though."
The smell of hospitals made him sick, he hated the scent of anti-septic and cleaning supplies.
He waited outside the barracks, enjoying the sun. He hoped Byakuya was able to enjoy it as well, and was not in a cell. His hot Byakuya… Closing his eyes, he remembered the pale skin, the intense eyes, the smell of his skin, and his c-
"Abarai-kun?"
"Kira!"
The blond Fukutaichou stood in front of him holding a bag.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to grab some supplies for Otoribashi-Taichou. What about you? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, just a small incident with one of the members of my squad. How are you?" Kira looked different. He was livelier and smiling more. Even after the mini freak out he had once he discovered that the whole Seireitei knew about him and Hisagi. "That's what you get for making out in the middle of the road.", "We weren't", "Yes, you were, Ise-Fukutaichou took pictures."
"I'm fine, actually I wanted to speak with you."
"Ah really?"
Kira looked around self-conscious and they walker further to a bench far from the entrance.
"I need your help, Abarai-kun, but you have to promise me you won't tell Shuuhei."
Shuuhei. He he he.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Shuuhei asked me something… but I don't know what to do. I mean, I know how to do it, I just don't know how to do it." The blond said blushing brightly.
Oh.
"Hisagi asked you to top him."
"Whaaa… How did you-"
"It's obvious. So you want to know how to do it?" Hisagi was such a horny dog. Of course he wanted to be topped. He always liked to try everything about sex.
"Well, I know how to do it. I just don't know how to initiate it, you know? I'm not going to just grab him and throw him to the bed."
Renji smirked, he bet that Hisagi did that to Kira before.
"He wouldn't mind you doing it. Hisagi likes it rough." he didn't want to reveal too much of the brunet's tastes, because one - it was funner if Kira discovered by himself, and two – he actually didn't want to scare Kira too much about Hisagi's weird masochist fantasies.
"Rough?"
"Yes, rough. Like grabbing him, and dominating him. When we were together, he was into that kind of thing."
They had great sex in the past. Actually that was probably the only good thing in their relationship. Hisagi and he were great as friends, but as lovers they were just too incompatible. The reason why they last so long was really because they were both sexually frustrated (all the time).
"What do you mean?"
"I mean like spanking and tie him up."
"What do you mean about when you were together?"
"Eh?"
And holy shit, he just realized something. Kira didn't know that he dated Hisagi in the past. The blond was looking at him with a deep frown. The smiley Kira gone. 'Oh no, come back cute smiley Kira!'
"Erg, you don't know? Hisagi and I dated in the past. But it was long time ago! It was in the beginning when we joined the Gotei 13… we were still at the 5th!" Shit, his expression was getting gloomier.
Why did Renji had the ability to talk? He was so fucking dumb sometimes.
Kira looked down at his feet for a couple of seconds.
"Thank you for you help, Abarai-kun. I have to go."
"Wait! It was a long time ago-"
"It's alright." Kira forced a smile. "Otoribashi-taichou is waiting for these, I really have to go," Kira said and then turned walking away.
Renji had a bittersweet feeling, he might just fucked up his friends' relationship.
To be continued...
Next chapter the conlcusion of ByaRen and HisaKira!