"One Thing After Another"
"I hate you! I hate you both!" Xing exclaimed, bolting out of the room, to my horror.
My heart nearly shattered into millions of pieces when I saw the tears well in his eyes. I made a move to get up from the bed to chase after him, but I felt a firm grip on my wrist, stopping me.
I turned in the direction of the grip. "What are you doing? We have to tell him it's not like this!" I exclaimed, trying to yank my wrist back from him.
"No," Syaoran said firmly, making my struggling stop.
My eyes widened, hearing him say that. "What?" I whispered in a disbelieving tone. Had he lost his mind?
"We're not explaining anything to him about us being in bed because he is a child. He stays in a child's place when it comes to adult issues," Syaoran said.
"So? That doesn't mean he wants to see his father in bed with a woman he barely knows," I explained.
"You're not just a woman. He knows you and you're not just any woman to him or me and he knows that," he said, looking at me seriously. "We can't keep sugarcoating our attraction towards each other to him anymore. I have never brought a woman home with me in front of him, so he knows better than to think of you as just that. I will have a talk with him about this because he needs to hear it from me."
I tried to pull back from him, wanting to relieve the little boy in distress, god-knows where.
"He's just in his room. When he calms down, I will have a talk with him."
I shook my head slowly, not believing that he wanted me to sit in here and pretend like Xing had not just said he hated me.
I broke that trust he had for me. Now, he might see me as all the other women. I didn't want him to see me like that. I didn't want him to see me as a person who was trying to take his father away from him. I didn't want to be the very thing he said he hated.
"Let me go," I said quietly, not able to sit in here with him.
"Sakura," he called warningly. "You really don't want to defy me right now. I know what's best for him because he is my son. He needs time right now."
I ignored the emphasis, knowing what he was trying to get at. That didn't mean that I didn't know Xing. Xing and I have had too many talks. Xing opened up to me more than he had with anyone else in his life, so he couldn't do me like that. He couldn't try and shut down the fact that Xing and I have a connection. Granted, he may have known his son off the back of his hand, but I understood what the underlying issues were because he talked to me. He wasn't afraid of me like he was afraid of Syaoran.
"I can't just sit here and act like he doesn't hate me right now. I can't pretend like I'm not doing something wrong—that I didn't do anything wrong. Do you even remember what happened last night?" I asked, feeling my emotions get the best of me.
"Of course I remember what happened last night. I knew what I was doing because I wanted to," he said, looking at me confused.
"You would know that was wrong then—that we should've talked to Xing about us going on that date and—"
"Are you trying to say you regret going on that date with me yesterday?" he asked unbelievingly. I could hear the hurt in his tone, but I couldn't choose him over Xing right now.
Xing was helpless. Xing needed me right now, so I had to go to him.
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to focus; trying to calm my raging heart and thoughts, but I couldn't. It was too hard. He was putting too much pressure on me right now. He was stopping me from keeping a promise I made to myself and Xing. "Syaoran, let me go, now," I said sternly. "I'm telling you I don't want this!"
He released my wrist immediately, a fearful expression appearing in his eyes before hurt and then anger flashed in them. The look reminded me of Xing's a few minutes ago, but I had to choose Xing over him. I was here for Xing and no one else.
I took that as my cue to rush out of his room to Xing's.
He had his door shut, making me fear the response he would give me when I tried to come in.
I didn't bother to knock, except the door wouldn't budge. I twisted the handle a few times before I realized he had locked the door.
No, no, no, no, no.
"Xing, please open the door," I said softly, hearing my voice tremor a little.
"Go away! I don't want to see you! I don't ever want to see you again!" he exclaimed, ripping my heart apart.
The back of my eyes began to burn, hearing him say such cruel words to me. I never thought I'd get the bad end of him, but now...it felt much different.
"Xing, baby, you don't mean that. You're forgetting who I am so soon?"
"You're a traitor! You're a big fat liar and I don't want you here anymore!" he exclaimed.
I could hear sniffling follow behind that statement, letting me know how broken he felt about me and Syaoran's encounter.
He was only 4, so there was no way he knew what we'd done last night. He shouldn't have understood what it meant to see a man and woman in bed together either.
Well...he knew about boyfriend and girlfriend, but that was all he knew. He couldn't have understood what that meant, so why was he throwing this huge tantrum? Was there something I missed?
I leaned my head against the door, feeling hopeless in all of this. He wouldn't even let me explain myself.
I didn't even know what I would say to explain myself or Syaoran, but I just knew that I needed to hold him in my arms right now and tell him that everything would be alright.
"Xing..." I called again weakly.
He didn't say anything, but continued to cry in his room.
"I told you that he needs time," I heard a cold voice behind me, almost sounding unrecognizable. He sounded like he did a month ago.
I turned to look at Syaoran who had slipped a shirt on now. I was thankful because I certainly didn't need to see the shirtless Syaoran I had slept next to all night.
"He hates me. He doesn't want me here anymore," I broke down, feeling the hot liquid spill from my eyes uncontrollably.
I can't believe we had screwed up like this. Xing trusted me. He believed that I would never betray him, and here I was, betraying him by even looking at his father and thinking of him in a way I knew I should've never done.
"Sakura," he called, making me look at him. He had gotten so close to me.
I moved back from him, knowing that was the reason we were in this mess right now.
"He doesn't mean anything he says when he's angry. He's just upset and needs time. Go and get a little more rest before we have to head to school."
More tears spilled from my eyes at his cold demeanor towards me. Did he not understand that I was in distress here, knowing Xing was in distress, but I couldn't do anything about it?
The man was just acting cold-hearted right now.
I stormed to my room, ignoring him constantly call my name to stop me. He was acting just like he did a month ago. Everything was falling apart right before my eyes.
I don't think I can go to school feeling like this today.
My eyes kept drifting to the rearview mirror, looking at Xing.
He still had not said anything to us the entire morning, only unlocking the door when Syaoran told him to. He didn't even say anything to Syaoran. All he did was listen and do as he was told, but never speaking a word.
Nothing had ever hurt this much besides the loss of my family.
I turned around, looking at Xing. "Xing," I tried again, but he ignored me, turning to look out the window.
"Xing," Syaoran called sternly, making Xing's head snap to the front. "You're to speak when spoken to."
A thin line formed across his lips before an angry expression crossed his face. He really didn't want to do this...
"It's okay. I didn't want anything," I said sadly, turning back around.
I didn't want anything to be forced between us. If he needed time, I would give him the time.
Syaoran pulled up to Xing's school after a few more minutes of silence. He put the car in park before turning to me. "You wait here," he told me, already getting out of the car.
He moved to the back door, opening the door for Xing. He helped him out, grabbing his bag.
They left me alone in the car. As soon as the door shut, I broke down into a sobbing fit for the fifth time that morning.
How could I hurt Xing like that? I had ruined his relationship with Syaoran too!
I was such an awful person!
I covered my mouth, hoping to calm my uncontrollable sobs, but it wouldn't work. I couldn't stop crying. Why couldn't I stop crying!?
As soon as my ears registered the car door being opened, my breath hitched in my throat, stopping the sobs. I looked to the driver's side, seeing Syaoran stare at me with this expression I couldn't explain.
"Sakura..." he called softly, a lot more like the Syaoran I was growing used to. "Please...you're really making this harder on me." He closed the car door on the driver's side, making his way over to my side of the car.
He opened the door, taking me in his arms, to my surprise. He held me tight, making my heart ache even more. "I promise you that I'll fix this. I promise that you guys will be back on good terms before this weekend. It's Friday now, so by Sunday, you guys will be back on good terms," he said in my hair, stroking my back gently. "Even if it means I won't work all weekend."
I sniffed, wrapping my arms around him hesitantly. "So...you're not mad at me?" I asked timidly, burying my face in his chest. My senses were filled with his scent. It was almost intoxicating.
He was quiet for a moment, making me fear his answer. "No," he said after a while. "I just want you to understand that...we can't just let Xing have his way with everything. Am I never supposed to be interested in a woman until he's old enough to leave the house?"
I froze, not believing he had just said that.
He was interested in me? In what way?
"I'm interested in you, Sakura," he said, confirming my unasked question.
My heart tightened in my chest, anticipation rising again. We had only been on one date and he's telling me that he's interested in me? Interested how?
"I—okay," I said quietly, holding him tighter. I didn't need to worry about that right now.
"We don't have to bother with that right now though. Let's just focus on getting Xing to come back around," he said, to my relief.
I let out a relieved sigh, nodding my head. "You're right," I said softly.
He released the grip around my body so he could pull back and look at me, but he kept his arms around me loosely. "Crying isn't going to solve anything, so you have to stop crying and focus on what you need to worry about."
I nodded, wiping my eyes of the tears. "You're right."
He smiled at me slightly before leaning forward to kiss me.
Something told me to stop him, because we were out in the open where parents could see us, but I ignored it, wanting to feel his lips against mine again.
The kiss was sweet and chaste before he pulled back, caressing my cheeks with a tender look in his eyes. "Sorry for being selfish this morning. I was only thinking about how I felt and not about your feelings," he apologized gently.
I shook my head, not wanting him to blame himself for how I felt right now. "I should've been more considerate of your feelings too. I don't regret going on that date with you. I really enjoyed you last night. And thank you for...doing what you did for me. It was...amazing and everything I didn't imagine it would feel like," I said timidly, feeling shy about the mention of last night.
He smiled, leaning forward to place another chaste kiss on my lips before pulling back. "I'm glad. That's what I wanted for you," he said. "I really enjoyed my time with you too."
My cheeks warmed as I nodded my head.
He kissed my forehead. "Let's get you to school then," he said. "I want you to have a good day today. Don't stress yourself over something we can't fix right now, but we will."
I nodded. "You're right. Sorry for troubling you," I said bashfully.
He smiled, kissing my nose before he stepped back and closed the door. He made his way over to the driver's side. He got in, buckling his seat belt. He pulled out of the driveway, driving out the of school parking lot.
The ride to school was quiet as he held my hand with the hand closest to me. It calmed me down a bit, making me believe that everything really would be alright in the end.
He bid me goodbye with a short, brief kiss again, telling me to have a good day before he dropped me off in the school parking lot.
As soon as I walked in the school building, Tomoyo was at my side with a grin on her face. Once she looked at my face closely, her grin faltered for some reason. "Are you okay? You've been crying," she said, sounding worried about me.
I shook my head vigorously. This girl knew me off the back of her hand. "It's alright. It's just...a lot has happened within the last 12 hours," I said, walking to our lockers with her.
She sighed, shaking her head. "What happened?"
"I...Xing caught us," I decided to settle with when I didn't know what else to say.
"What?" she shrieked, turning to me.
I stopped walking, looking at her sadly. "He's...upset with both of us and not talking to either of us right now," I said sadly.
"Caught you guys what?" she asked, looking at me confused.
My cheeks warmed, even though we had not even done anything in his bed but cuddle and sleep all night. With his shirt off.
"In bed..."
"What!?" came her response again.
I shook my head vigorously, hoping the blush would leave my face. "N-nothing like that. We just slept together," I said, in my defense.
"Again, WHAT!?"
"No, no, no," I said quickly, noticing her take it the wrong way. "We didn't do anything but sleep."
"Sakura...what's going on?"
I sighed, grabbing her arm to pull her with me to the lockers before I began telling her about everything that happened. I didn't even skip the part about Syaoran pleasuring me and telling me that he was interested in me this morning.
I mentioned how Xing had opened up to me about everything and how awful I felt about betraying him.
Thank god no one was in the halls with us but when someone did come to greet us, I started talking in code about the situation. I didn't need this getting out to anyone else.
We started walking to homeroom together.
"Sakura...I know you'll figure out what to do," Tomoyo said, smiling at me sweetly.
Hearing her encouraging words and support, made me feel a lot better than I had earlier this morning. "I know...Syaoran really helped me calm down before I got here," I said, feeling my cheeks warm at how kind he had been to me earlier when I broke down.
Tomoyo gave me a knowing smile. "I'm glad you have someone so supporting by your side through this," she said softly.
I smiled, opening the door to the classroom. "You're right. Including you."
"Can I call grandma?" Xing asked without looking at me.
He had been in his room since I had gotten home from school. We didn't have practice today, so Kenta had come and got me and then Xing. Xing still had not said anything to me, so I was a little surprised to see him coming to me.
I smiled at him sadly, nodding my head. "Of course. Do you know where we could find her contact information?" I asked.
Syaoran had never said there was a problem with that, so...would this be okay?
I went to get my phone to send Syaoran a quick text to let him know that I would let him talk to his mom.
Xing brought me a tablet from the kitchen.
I opened it, looking through it before I spotted 'Mom' with her phone number in it.
I checked my phone one last time before seeing he didn't text back. "Come on. Let's use the house phone," I said.
He didn't respond and just took the paper from me and walked in the living room where the phone is.
I frowned, following after him to make sure he dialed the right number. He turned back to me, pointing up towards the phone. He couldn't reach it. I walked over to him and took the phone off the hook. I looked at the paper, dialing her number for him.
When it started ringing, I handed the phone to him to hold.
A few seconds passed before his face brightened.
"Nǎinai," he said in a cheerful voice.
My heart warmed a little, seeing his mood change to a brighter one.
He started speaking in his native language, so I couldn't understand what their conversation was about.
I almost forgot he spoke Chinese. I remembered Syaoran telling me that he had been having a hard time in school because his Japanese wasn't the best. He understood a good bit because that's all we talked in at home.
Deciding to give him some privacy, I walked in the kitchen, feeling hungry a bit. I had not had anything since lunch today. Ms. Hana had long cooked dinner after she cleaned and left.
It was a little past 7 now, so I guess it would be okay to eat. I didn't want to eat without Xing, but I sure didn't think he wanted to eat with me.
I had not heard anything from Syaoran today since his class, so things must've been busy at his job.
I found myself missing him a bit, but brushed it to the side, realizing how ridiculous I sounded. I had just seen him earlier.
There was no reason to miss him.
Shaking my head of the ridiculous thoughts, I walked back to the living room, to see if Xing wanted to eat with me, only to stop in my tracks after hearing him speak in Japanese now.
"But, I don't want to be here anymore," he said sadly. "Daddy's always busy and now he's even more busier spending his time with Sakura."
I froze, wanting to interfere on the conversation, but not knowing how to without scaring him and making him spill more information.
"She's...daddy's new girlfriend, I think," he said sadly.
Oh crap, crap, crap...
I screwed up again!
I walked in the living room fully to let my presence be known.
He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, holding onto the phone tighter.
"She's...been here since this summer to watch me when daddy works," he said, turning away from me. "I don't want her here anymore."
My eyes watered, hearing the hurt in his voice now.
"Okay," he said after a minute.
...
"Yes ma'am."
...
"Hai. Love you too," he said before handing me the phone to hang it up for him.
"Xing," I called, trying to get his attention. I put the phone back on the hook when I took it from him. "Will you talk to me, at least?"
He looked down, clenching his fist at his side.
I stooped to his height, looking at him. He didn't even bother to look at me, but that was fine. He wasn't running off to his room, so I could talk to him now.
"I am not trying to take your father away from you. God, you know I would never do anything like that to you. I love you too much to do anything like that," I said.
He turned to me with tears in his eyes now. "Then..." he sniffed, the tears suddenly falling down his face. "W-why? Daddy used to sleep with mommy too...so that means that...I don't know what it means, but it hurts so bad because what if you...what if you stop loving me so you can love daddy and then I'll be left all alone again and I don't want that!" he exclaimed, bursting into a sobbing mess.
My heart clenched in my chest and I grabbed him, pulling him into my arms to hold him tightly. "I would never do that to you, Xing. I would never stop loving you," I told him sincerely.
"Then why couldn't I be with you guys? You guys left me to go out without me! What if I wanted to go too?" he asked sadly, pulling back from me so he could look at me.
I didn't want to have this talk with him. I would leave it to his father.
"Well, that would make you selfish, Xing. You like sharing, right? Remember we talked about sharing?" I asked sadly.
"I don't want to share you though! I already share daddy with his work," he said, wrapping his arms around my neck tightly.
"So, I can't have friends that I want to hang out with? I can't be happy with other people?" I asked sadly, wrapping my arms around his little body.
"Well..." he said sadly. "I guess that makes me sound mean...doesn't it?" he asked, pulling back to look at me with his beady amber eyes.
"Not mean. Just...you want me to be happy, right?" I asked, grabbing his face gently to wipe his face of the tears.
He nodded his head slowly. "Yes, but I want you to be happy with me."
"Xing, baby, listen to me," I said, making him look me directly in my eyes.
He looked me in the eyes, not letting his attention stray from me.
"Just because I go out or hang out with anyone, that doesn't mean that I'll love you any less than what I do. I will do anything for you because I love you. No one could ever replace you in my heart, because you have a special place," I said sincerely.
A small smile crept to his face slowly as his cheeks colored a bit. "Forever and ever?"
"Forever and ever," I confirmed.
"I'm sorry for making you sad," he said, hugging me tightly.
"And I'm sorry for hurting you," I said, kissing the side of his head.
I heard the lock of the door unlocking, making me release Xing. I heard the door opening, making Xing freeze in my arms.
"Daddy's home..." he said softly.
I nodded. "It's okay. You aren't in trouble," I said, reassuring him that Syaoran was not mad at him from his behavior earlier.
Syaoran walked to the living room a few seconds later with his keys in hand. He stopped after seeing us on the floor, raising a brow, wondering what we had going on.
Xing walked over to him with a determined look on his face. "Let's make a deal," he said, sounding like a grown little man.
Syaoran's eyes drifted over to mine briefly before they trained on Xing again. "Mhm?"
"We share," he said.
Syaoran's brows knitted together.
"You spend time with Sakura...sometimes, but I get to spend most of the time with her. You made a promise in the beginning when you said that Sakura is here for me, right?" he asked, giving his dad a pointed look.
Syaoran's eyes locked with mine again as he nodded his head slowly. "Yes..."
"Well, you guys can only spend time...sometimes because Sakura needs other friends her age too. BUT, she still gives me more love than anyone else..." he said, looking over at me shyly. "If she's okay with that," he added quietly.
I stood up straight, nodding my head. "I—of course," I said immediately.
"While we're on the topic of sharing, how about we talk about something else important in this household?" Syaoran said, reaching down to pick him up.
To my surprise, Xing let him. "But, you have to agree to the deal first," Xing said, grabbing Syaoran's face.
My eyes widened, not believing the little boy was so bold to do that.
"Alright, alright. I agree," Syaoran said, shaking his head.
Xing chuckled, releasing his face. "Now, what do we have to talk about?" Xing asked.
I stood up from the ground, looking at the two. "I'll let you guys talk," I said, smiling at them.
"No," Syaoran said sternly.
I froze, stunned by the stern and commanding tone he used.
"Stay."
I swallowed, nodding my head nervously.
"Don't scare Sakura, Daddy. That was mean," Xing said.
"I'm sorry for scaring you, Sakura," Syaoran said to my surprise.
These Li men were trying to give me a heart attack with their behavior today.
"It's...fine..." I said slowly, raising a questioning brow at him about his behavior.
"Good. Now, let's all have a seat in the living room," Syaoran said, walking them over to the couch.
He sat down, placing Xing on the couch beside him.
I sat down beside Xing, looking at Syaoran.
"Let's talk about this morning," Syaoran said, making me freeze.
"Me and Sakura talked about it..." Xing said quietly.
"No, there's more to what you guys talked about. I want to start off by asking you this...Do you want daddy to be alone forever?" he asked.
I froze, holding my breath at that question. We had not talked about us talking about this.
"Of course not. You have me," he said, grinning at Syaoran now.
"For right now. One day, you're going to get older and move out to be on your own, leaving me behind because that's how things work. So...that's why, one day I'll end up finding a partner I want to spend the rest of my life with," Syaoran explained.
"What do you mean?" he asked softly.
"One day, I'll find someone I want to be with," he said in short.
"Like...boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked, sounding confused by that.
"Yeah, something like that."
"Will it be like I have a new mommy?" he asked.
"Not necessarily a new mom, because your mom will still be your mom. Just...someone you can—"
"I wouldn't mind having a new mom..." he interrupted Syaoran, looking deep in thought. "I mean...I won't ever ever forget mommy, but...daddy needs another person to sleep next to, to be happy, right?"
"Right, so..."
"I'm okay with that. It just can't be Saku," he said, grabbing on to my arm, hugging it.
A silence fell in the room after that, neither of us knowing what to say to that.
"W-well, you're lucky that it won't be me—"
"What's wrong with it being Sakura?" Syaoran asked.
I gave Syaoran a warning look. He was pushing it here. We never even had a conversation about trying anything like that.
He was forgetting that I liked someone else right now too.
"Xing doesn't feel comfortable with that," I said in his defense. We were not about to get into this topic without having that conversation with each other first.
"I want to hear it from Xing," Syaoran said, giving me a warning look to not interfere.
I couldn't do that though. He was trying to decide something without my permission. I wasn't letting that happen.
"Syaoran," I called, giving him a warning look, at least I hoped so.
"Well...I don't want to share Sakura with Daddy. I don't mind sharing her with her friends though," Xing interfered to my relief.
"But why?" Syaoran pressed.
"Because...I don't want to have to share Sakura and Daddy with each other...I already share daddy with work and Sakura with her friends...and soon, I might have to share daddy to the new person daddy wants to sleep in bed with," he said, sounding a little confused about that bit of information.
At the mention of Syaoran sharing a bed with another, I could feel a sting of jealousy at that thought even though it was just figurative speaking.
"What will be—"
"Syaoran," I called, giving him a pointed look.
"Daddy...do you want Sakura to be the one to sleep with you?" Xing asked in a worried tone.
I held my breath at that question, not even sure myself if I wanted to hear that.
Syaoran was quiet for a while before he let out a sigh. "It doesn't matter. Have you guys eaten?"
I sighed in relief quietly. Thank goodness he didn't answer that.
Telling me he was interested in me this morning was already enough for one day.
"No. We were just about to," I said, standing from the couch.
"Okay," Syaoran stood, helping Xing stand himself. "Everything is clear now, right? You understand what I'm saying, right?"
Xing nodded with a grin on his face. "Yes," he said enthusiastically.
"Let's go eat then," Syaoran said.
I was so glad that was over...
"Did you check your phone?" I asked Syaoran as we sat on the couch in the living room.
Xing had fallen asleep about 15 minutes ago after Syaoran and I put him down and read him a story.
We were sitting in the living room watching some sitcom, but not exactly paying attention to it.
"No. Did you send me something?"
I looked down at my hand, not sure how to bring it up. It couldn't be that bad. It was his mom...
Surely she wouldn't freak out like he said the media would. She had to have cared about Syaoran a lot, so her finding out about me being here shouldn't be an issue. Surely she didn't take what Xing said seriously either...right?
"You should check it," I said instead.
"I'll be back to get it," he said, standing up from the couch. He left me alone, giving me time to get myself together.
I didn't know what to expect right now.
Five minutes passed before Syaoran showed back up with a mortified look on his face.
Oh gosh, maybe it was that bad.
"Xing called...my mother?" he asked slowly, walking over to the couch to sit beside me.
I swallowed, not sure if I should tell the truth or not. "Is there a problem if he did...?"
He was quiet for a moment, looking at a loss for words.
"He did," I said honestly. "He asked me if he could and I didn't see a problem with it, but I texted you and you never texted back..."
"I was in a meeting and didn't think anything about my phone. What did they talk about?" he asked, turning to me abruptly.
I couldn't tell him that he told her about having me here as his girlfriend. Besides...it's not like his mom would be upset or confront him about having a girlfriend, right? Granted, I wasn't his girlfriend, but I couldn't see why she would be upset with her 20 something year old son having a girlfriend?
"Nothing in particular. They spoke in Chinese mostly, so I couldn't understand any of it," I lied.
He sighed in relief, leaning back on the couch, exhausted. "I don't know what I'll do if she finds out..." he said under his breath.
"What'll happen if she does...?" I asked, looking away nervously.
He shook his head, letting out a sigh. "I don't even want to think about it. Either way, it's no one's business about what we have going on. No one has to know about us..." he said, his voice dropping lower.
My skin tingled, feeling every word caress my skin. "What do you mean by 'us'?" I asked.
He didn't say anything, making the anticipation rise in my chest again.
He turned to me, making me freeze in shock. His eyes raked over by my body before they went back up to my eyes. "I'd like to take you out again," he said.
I swallowed, shaking my head slowly. "I don't think that's a good idea," I said softly, though I wanted to.
He stared at me, making goosebumps glide down my body. "Because Xing says so?" he asked quietly. "Sakura, it's really ridiculous for us to determine how our lives should be based on a kid."
I shook my head again slowly. "It's not just about that..." I said quietly.
I had nothing against Syaoran, because he really is a kind man. I just couldn't pretend like this morning didn't happen; that I didn't hurt Xing like that. And I couldn't just pretend like I didn't like anyone else right now.
Well...maybe I wasn't too sure about whether or not I liked Yukito...
I didn't feel any of this weird stuff that I felt for Syaoran with Yukito, so maybe...
I mentally shook my head of the thoughts. There was no use in getting myself confused right now.
I couldn't think about myself right now either because I was only here for Xing.
"What's it about then? If you don't like me, just say it and I'll back off. We can go back to how things were before we started doing all of that," he said in a sincere and honest tone.
My eyes widened. I didn't want that at all. I liked what we had going on right now. I just didn't want Xing to hurt in the process.
"No, it's not that. I really..." My cheeks warmed at the thoughts. "I like what we have, and I really would like to go out with you again, but...I don't know how this would work if Xing doesn't want it to..."
"Xing doesn't have to know about it right away," he said, moving over towards me slightly.
I jumped, moving back from him. "We are not doing anything with Xing in the house," I said sternly, not wanting to fall under his seduction again.
He stopped, sighing before he nodded his head. "Fine. I'll respect that," he said gently. "I do want you to think about that second date I mentioned..."
I nodded, looking at him shyly. "I just...I don't want another incident like last night to happen. I don't know what I would do if Xing really wanted me gone..." I said sadly.
"For the record, I wouldn't kick you out," he said quietly.
"Really?" I asked softly. "It's normally what Xing wants, right?"
He nodded slowly. "You didn't do anything though. You've never treated him bad and you've never abandoned him before. You've done nothing but be kind to both of us, so to kick you out like that...wouldn't sit right with me."
"I'm only allowed to stay here because I'm supposed to be the nanny to your kid," I said, trying to reason with him.
"Well, you're much more than that now," he said, making me go quiet.
What was that even supposed to mean?
Instead of questioning him, I smiled. "So...you won't kick me out?" I asked uncertainly.
"Of course not," he said immediately.
I moved over to him to lay my head on his shoulder. It should be alright to show my gratitude with a hug...right?
"I'm really grateful for you..." I said softly.
He froze before relaxing under me. "I'm glad you're here..." he said.
My ears listened out to make sure a door didn't open. "Why?" I asked.
"Because..." he started.
When he didn't finish, I looked up at him from his shoulder, only to see him staring ahead at nothing in particular.
"With you around...I feel like I can be...myself. I don't feel so tense and like there's any expectation held over me. I can just be...normal. It feels easier to breathe and that I'm not being judged. I always feel a pressure on my chest, but when I'm with...I mean, when you're around...I don't feel that pressure. Like, I even feel it with Xing because I feel like I have to be the best father even when I'm not. But, with you...there is no pressure," he said, almost sounding like he were talking to himself with that dazed expression on his face.
I smiled, sliding my hand down to grab his hand. "I'm glad I could make you feel that way. It must really be hard having to live your life," I said, feeling a bit sympathetic for him. "You're still so young and...have so much to take care of. It doesn't sound fair at all on you," I said sadly.
"None of that matters about the fairness. I just want...to feel what I feel when you're around," he said, squeezing my hand a little.
"Syaoran," I called softly, looking up at him from his shoulder.
He looked down at me, making me freeze at the sudden eye contact. The intensity in his eyes almost made me melt into a puddle of gush.
Squeezing his hand gently, I reached up to close the gap between our lips.
There was nothing lustful or rushed in the kiss. No tongue or anything. Just an act of telling him that I wouldn't leave.
I pulled back from the kiss, wanting it to mean just that. I refused to get into anything else that could mess my relationship up with Xing.
"I'm not planning to leave any time soon," I decided to settle with.
Syaoran released my hand, pulling me over into his arms so he could hold me.
For a moment, I tensed up at the sudden show of affection from him, but I relaxed soon afterwards.
"Thank you..." he whispered, barely able to hear him.
We sat in a comfortable silence for god knows how long before my eyes started to get heavy.
As if he sensed my tiredness, he released me. "We should head to bed," he said softly. "It's getting late."
I nodded, sitting up from his chest. "You're right."
He stood up first, grabbing my hands to help me up. His eyes drifted to the hall before he leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss.
He was already pulling back before I could even respond. "Good night, Sakura."
I smiled at him. "Goodnight."
I looked over at Syaoran a little worried. His facial expression showed one of anger as he went off on the person that was on the phone in his native language.
I couldn't tell what they were talking about, but I knew he was going off. Plus, he looked pissed.
Our morning was so peaceful, like our weekend had been. Syaoran had worked most of the weekend, but ate dinner with us one night. Xing and I had just spent time together at the house.
Nothing out of the ordinary happened this morning, which made it so peaceful. Xing had gotten up and woke me up, as usual. Syaoran had come back home from the gym as he usually does.
We had dropped Xing off at school before someone called him. The moment they got on the phone; he was livid.
I was a little afraid to say anything to him, fearing he might snap at me. It was starting to make me worry that he might run off the road with how furious he seemed.
I'd never seen him this angry before, but I was glad that Xing hadn't witnessed this side of him. He was normally good at keeping his cool, but now was like a different man sitting beside me.
A few minutes of his ranting in Chinese went on before he hung the phone up on the person.
I looked at his knuckles that were clenching the wheel, biting my lip nervously seeing how white they were. I wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say...
"You said Xing didn't tell my mother anything," he said suddenly.
I froze, wondering if I should tell the truth or lie...
No way could I do that.
"I-I didn't hear anything about him telling anything," I said, mentally slapping myself for stuttering as soon as it came out.
"Why the hell is my cousin on her way here to fix what mother wants her to fix then?" Syaoran asked, holding on to the wheel tighter.
I just wanted to get to school to get out of here.
I didn't say anything, not sure what he wanted me to say.
He let out a sigh. "Know what, don't answer that. I'll solve it on my own," he said coldly.
For the rest of the ride, he was quiet.
When he pulled up to the school, he didn't even say anything as I got out of the car.
I didn't bother to say anything either, not knowing what to say.
I closed the car door, watching him drive off as soon as it closed.
Everything was definitely not alright...
Edit: Sorry about the confusion on the update! This was meant to be the chapter. The name documents were worded the same, so my mistakes. Thank you guys for notifying me!
Edit edit: Nope, its FanFiction glitching right now D:
A/N: Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews, follow, and favorites. I know it may be a little shocking to see an update sooner than normal, but I'm all in now! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, as things are starting to fall into place. The family's finally getting involved, thanks to our precious Xing :P.
What do you guys think will happen now that Syaoran mother knows? And, Meilin knows, so the whole family's about to get involved...