Author's note:

I've been staring at this empty Google Document for a week now. Every time I try to start, it's like the story just doesn't want to be written. So, I let the story write itself.

I want to thank my friends Chelsea and Lena who let me annoy them with my plot points.

For the record, I am very sorry.

Rey

"Why does it have to be white?" I whined, as Rose fastened the closures on the back of the lace bustier I wore. It went to just above my hips, but there was also a matching garter belt that wrapped around and had straps that connected to the stockings on my thighs.

"Because it's tradition." She answered. She finished with my bustier, and bent down, making me balance on one foot as she lifted the other one. She looped a lace garter around my foot, and hoisted it into place on my thigh.

She stood, and turned, carefully taking my dress off of its hanger. "Arms up." She instructed, and I obeyed.

She helped me pull it on, and then moved behind me again to zip it up.

I watched myself in a nearby full length mirror, and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

The skirt was long, full, and made of layers of tulle and lace. The bodice was silk, with a plunging neckline that came off of my shoulders, and had fitted sleeves that buttoned at my wrists.

My hair was down, braided on either side and secured in the back.

There was a soft knock on the door. "It's me." Leia called, and came in.

She saw me, and gasped, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "You are a vision."

I blushed, looking down.

She stepped forward, and held up a white veil. "This was mine." She explained. "I've had it cleaned, and redone to the current style. I'd be honored if you'd wear it."

My own eyes watered as I nodded, and Rose took it from her, sliding the comb over the braids on the back of my head.

Leia reached up, and pulled her veil over my face, smiling at me through her tears. "You are officially perfect."

Rose reached around and handed me my bouquet and trailed behind me, lifting the train of my skirt as I made my way to the front of the chapel.

Finn stood in front of the doors, with his back to me, and when he heard us approaching he looked over his shoulder, smiling widely as he spotted us.

Leia gave me a quick kiss on my cheek and slipped through the doors, and Rose gave my train a final fluff before coming to stand in front of me. She was in a tight fitting, dusty rose colored dress. The skirt came to her calves and she wore a pair of matching pumps. She'd curled her long, black hair and swept it onto one shoulder, securing it with a jeweled pin.

The doors opened, and the music started. Rose straightened before starting her March down the aisle.

Finn offered me his arm and I put my hand in the crook of his elbow, noticing his finely tailored blue suit.

"You look beautiful." He whispered, as we took our places.

I thanked him, and we stepped forward into the chapel.

Everyone in attendance stood, but I barely noticed the movement as my eyes locked with Ben's.

He was standing next to the officiant, waiting for me, and gave me a soft, lopsided smile that made my heart flutter.

He was also in a blue suit, with his hair combed back, and he looked at me like I was the only person in the world.

He always looked at me like I was the only person in the world.

We reached the altar, and I gave my bouquet to Rose, then turned back to Ben and took his hands.

The officiant started. "Do you, Rey, take Ben to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." I vowed, my chin high.

The officiant turned to Ben. "And, do you, Benjamin Luke Organa-Solo, take Rey to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Ben opened his mouth to answer, but the crackling red blade of his lightsaber thrust through his chest, stopping him.

I screamed, and the blade retracted, leaving a gaping hole where his heart would have been.

He looked down to the wound, then to me, his eyes pleading, and I watched, in horror, as blood dripped from the corner of his mouth.

He fell, and Kylo Ren stepped forward to take his place. He was dressed in all black, the hood on his cloak pulled up to cover the top of the metal helmet he wore. I felt my stomach hollow out. He looked exactly as he had the first time I'd seen him.

"I do." He answered, his voice distorted by the mask, and took my hand, roughly sliding a ring onto my finger.

"Man and wife." The officiant declared. "I present to you: Supreme Leader Ren, and Empress Rey!"

I turned toward the audience, but instead of finding my friends, I saw ten thousand storm troopers.

"Kneel before your Queen." Ren commanded in his robotic voice, and I watched the wave of bodies as they obeyed.

oOo

Ben

I startled awake, and put my hands under me, pushing myself up.

I heard Rey gasp and looked over, finding her next to me, but I knew she wasn't really there.

I'd fallen asleep in my bed in the house on Naboo, and she was…

Actually, I had no idea where she was. I did my best not to pry. She'd asked for space, and I was giving it to her.

When the Bond would let me give her space, anyway.

It must have connected us because of her nightmare. Our nightmare.

And, now, she was feeling too much, too fast for me to decipher what was going on in her head.

The Bond trembled nervously, which didn't help the situation in the least.

She crawled over me to stand up and I rolled over from my stomach to my side and sat up, facing her.

"Can we talk?" She requested. "But, no more lies, no more games, no more hiding?"

I took a breath, and nodded. "Yes."

"You didn't tell me about the Bond because you think it's not what I want." She started. "But what do you want?"

No one had ever asked me that before, and I blinked, taking a moment to think before answering her. "I want you." I confessed.

"But, how?" She pushed.

I looked down, not knowing exactly where to begin.

"Ok," She said, sensing my hesitation. "The Bond, would you accept the Bond?"

"Yes." I answered.

"And then what?" She asked. "After the Bond is accepted and sealed, then what? We just go back to the First Order as if we've been on vacation for the past few weeks?"

"Yes." I said, again.

"Why?" She wanted to know.

"Because if we just walk away, it'll mean a life of running, of hiding. They'll come for you." I told her. "They'll never stop coming for you."

"Because I'm your mate?" She demanded.

I shook my head. "Because of Hux. He wants you and every other member of the Resistance dead, and he's not the type to let things go."

She accepted this. "But, what's to stop him from killing me while I'm on the Finalizer?"

"Me." I said, pointing out the obvious.

"But, to Hux," She countered. "I'm a filthy junk trader, and rebel scum, and will automatically assume that I'm your whore."

A vicious snarl erupted from my chest. "You are not-"

"But that's what everyone will think!" She said, cutting me off.

"They'll know that you're my mate." I explained.

"Would we get married?" She asked.

I shrugged. "If you'd have me."

Her brow creased. "If I'd have you as my mate, why wouldn't I have you as my husband?"

"You haven't accepted the Bond." I reminded her.

"But, I want to." She admitted, and I forgot how to breathe.

"You…want to?" I stammered, and she nodded. "Then, why haven't you?"

"If we go back to the First Order, you'll take back your title as Supreme Leader." She said, and she looked absolutely miserable. As if the words pained her to say them. "And you'll have to be him."

Kylo Ren.

Yes, I would have to be him.

My insides twisted at the thought.

"He's only a part I'll have to play." I reasoned. "And, only some of the time."

"Most of the time." She countered. "And what would I be? If we got married?"

I looked down, not wanting to answer her.

"What would your wife be, Kylo Ren?" She snapped, and I shot up.

"Don't you ever call me that!" I yelled, stepping toward her.

She raised her chin, her eyes burning. "Answer me."

"You'd be my mate, and my wife." I insisted.

Her eyes searched mine. "And?"

"And what?"

"And, what would I be to Kylo Ren?" She asked.

I swallowed, and sighed. "You'd be his wife and mate, too."

Her chin quivered, as her eyes trimmed with tears. She stepped forward, and took my face in her hands, then crushed her lips to mine.

The Bond stilled, and it turned my blood to ice.

I pulled away from the kiss, to look at her, and she said something I'd never thought I'd hear. "I love you."

My heart fluttered, sending chills down my body.

She loved me.

Rey loved me.

But, why did she look so devastated?

"I love you." I told her, and a sob erupted from her.

I reached up, and touched her face, wiping the tears away that fell.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice soft.

"I love you." She said again. "And, I want you. I want to seal this Bond. I want to be your wife, and your mate, and I want to give you the family that we both never had."

Tears rimmed my own eyes. I wanted that, too.

"But." She said, " I want that with Ben Solo."

I felt my eyebrows pull together, as I felt the Bond shutter, a nervous knot settling into my stomach.

"And, until I can only be mated to Ben Solo," She took a shaky breath. "I reject the mating Bond."

It shattered, the jagged shards cutting into me as they fell.

Ancient words that would have no meaning to anyone else, but spoken out loud between us had just completely annihilated me.

I sank to my knees, clutching my chest. The Bond was gone.

She was gone.

And, she'd taken everything with her.