Rose's POV

Running. Always running. Barefoot. Bruised.

Trees - so many trees. In front. To my Left. Right. Behind. Always so many trees.

I couldn't seem to escape. No matter how far I ran, I couldn't get out of this canopy surrounding me. My desperation was painful – I needed to get out of here. Away from here. Away from him.

He couldn't hurt me anymore.

Stumbling through the thick branches, I felt my elation as I came to a clearing - I could see a house in the distance. I felt free.

I broke off into a sprint, running towards the orange glow from the windows, hoping and praying to find help.

I screamed at the top of my lungs to open the door, to let me in, to help me. Desperate tears flowed down my cheeks as I reached the door, banging on the dark wood as hard as I could until it swung open in front of me.

No.

Please, no.

"Rose," the man in front of me snarled, his lips curling upwards in a smirk to reveal his pointed teeth. "I knew you would come back to me. I knew you would give in. I knew you would realise you can't be without me."

My body began to tremble as I backed away from the monster in front of me, desperately searching the area around me for points of exit.

I needed to escape.

I needed to get away from him.

I took barely three steps before I found myself backing into someone standing close behind me.

My head snapped up to the door frame, only to find it empty. Arms snaked around my chest tightly and I felt his hot breath on my neck, just below my ears.

"Why did you try to leave, Rose?" He whispered, licking a line from the base of my neck up to my ear lobe. "Why don't you just love me?" His fangs traced the skin of my neck. "Let me show you how much I love you."

Without warning, his teeth sank into my neck and suddenly the forest around us dissipated. I found my self bound to a bed, in a dark room. In that room.

He was standing at the foot of the bed, staring at me intensely, his desire for me clear in his eyes, in his smile, in his pants…

"Please…" I managed to choke out before he lunged, pinning me down beneath his body weight and I screamed. I yelled until my throat hurt.

"Please -" I whimpered. "Please, Nathan!"

A loud bang echoed across the room. Then another and another, drawing me out of my nightmare. As my eyes fluttered open in a panic, I struggled to stop the tears from falling over my face and the screams and whimpers from escaping my throat.

I was home. Actually home. Why then was someone trying to break into my bedroom? Terrified and disoriented from my dream, I backed myself into the corner of the bed, drawing my knees up to my chest and sobbing into my elbows.

The banging continued until the door finally gave way and detached from its lock, and I flinched when I heard the cause of the intrusion enter the room and head towards me.

"Roza?" they asked tentatively, slowly edging closer to me.

Dimitri.

My head shot up and his worried filled eyes met mine.

"Don't," I cried, trying to back even further away from him. He couldn't be here. He couldn't see me like this.

"Rose -"

"Adrian-" I managed to choke out in between sobs. "Please, I need Adrian."

I didn't miss the flash of pain across Dimitri's face, but my feelings of guilt were overpowered by panic and an overwhelming need to be with Adrian.

Dimitri reluctantly backed away, fetching his phone from his pocket as I continued to sob in the middle of our bed. He held the phone to his ear and not five seconds later, greeted Adrian on the other end of the phone.

"Adrian, it's Dimitri," he said, his voice strained with emotion. "Rose needs you."

He lowered his gaze as he returned his phone to his pocket.

"He's on his way," he told me, before reluctantly turning and leaving me alone once more. Through my sobs, I briefly heard the door to the bathroom open and close in the distance.

I needed Adrian. I needed him to be here and help me. I was panicking. I was hurt. I needed help. And Adrian had been the one to provide that help, that comfort, for the last three weeks. Every time I felt like I couldn't carry on, felt like giving up, he visited me in my dreams and held me. He told me everything was going to be okay. He gave me the strength to defend myself from Nathan's cold, harsh grasp.

Not five minutes later, I heard the door to the apartment burst open and, shortly after, Adrian came rushing into the bedroom, finding me hyperventilating into my knees. He immediately rushed forward and onto the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. My hands clutched his shirt tightly as I cried into him, his hands smoothing back my hair as I did so.

"Shh, you're okay," he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. "I'm here. You're okay."

Adrian let me cry into his chest until I must have fallen asleep again, because the next thing I knew, moonlight was shining in through a gap in the curtains, casting a soft glow on the man sleeping next to me.

I began to panic slightly, not used to having someone lying next to me on my bed, but my fear quickly dissolved – replaced with a feeling of safety and protection. Adrian lay on his back, one arm behind his head, the other stretched out across onto my side of the bed, as though he had been playing with my hair before he fell asleep.

"Adrian," I whispered, nudging him slightly to wake him up.

He stirred almost immediately, his eyes darting around the room in a search for danger. His gaze landed on mine and he smiled sleepily before sitting up slowly and running a hand through his messy tangles of hair.

"Hey, Little Dhampir. Are you okay?"

I nodded slowly, sitting up myself and turning to face him.

"What happened?" He asked. "When I got here last night you were hysterical. Dimitri didn't say anything, only that you needed me."

"I – I don't know." I said, lowering my gaze. "I had a dream."

Adrian didn't say anything, waiting for me to continue.

"About Nathan."

"I see."

"I was back – back there," I told him. "I woke up and I just panicked."

"Dimitri didn't help you?" He asked, furrowing his brows.

"He – he couldn't. I didn't let him near me."

"Why? You needed help."

"I couldn't – not from him. He can't help me."

"Rose…" I could hear the disappointment in his voice. "He loves you. You know he does. You need to let him help you."

The next evening, I dreamt again. Waking up crying and screaming once more. Dimitri didn't come in, but I knew that he heard me because Adrian came running through the door less than five minutes later. Dimitri must have rang him again, probably afraid to upset me himself.

This continued for a few nights, to the point where Adrian hadn't bothered going home, choosing instead to stay at the apartment with me. Eddie came by for his shifts but Adrian always sent him away, much to Eddie's dismay. He took his job as Adrian's guardian very seriously, and even behind the wards he hated to leave Adrian alone. Especially more so now, since the incident before when Eddie ended up in the hospital. I knew that having him here must have been hurting Dimitri, but I couldn't bear to even look in his direction, let alone have him help me.

I was so ashamed of myself; I couldn't let myself be close to him. Adrian had seen me at my worst. Adrian had been there all the times Nathan – all the times Nathan hurt me. Maybe not physically, but in my dreams - and they always felt real.

Adrian told me that it was his own idea for him to stay, but I knew differently. I heard the two of them the night before, Dimitri and Adrian, talking in hushed tones out in the living room as I crept silently to broken door of the bedroom. Hiding behind the wall, I listened.

"Dimitri, you need to be the one to help her." I heard Adrian whisper.

"I know! But she's not letting me. She only wants you." Dimitri replied, and I didn't miss the sadness in his voice.

"But she needs you. I need to go home."

"Maybe it's best if you just stay. You know she's going to wake up crying in a few hours anyway, calling for you. Just stay."

"Dimitri, I –"

"Adrian, it's okay. You got what you wanted. She needs you more than me now."

"I got what I wanted? What is that supposed to mean?" Adrian asked.

"I mean, you love her. You still love her, you always have."

"Belikov, you don't have to worry about that. I don't love her in that way anymore," he said, before I heard him add under his breath, "besides, I'm not one to take another man's girl."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Dimitri was clearly taken aback by Adrian's comment.

"You know what I meant, Belikov."

"I thought we were passed this, Ivashkov."

"Well clearly not, if you're still fretting about Rose and I's feelings for each other."

"Adrian –"

"No, Belikov. I'm here to help her. Not to take her away from you. It's you she needs. I've come to terms with that and I moved on. I can't help it if my abilities meant that I could contact her when she was missing and you couldn't. But trust me man, she needs you. I can see it in her eyes whenever I mention you. She misses you."

"I miss her."

"I know."

"Just stay, Adrian, please. She needs you."

Even with Dimitri's love for me and urge to help me, he could recognise that I needed Adrian right now, and he knew that having him here would help me, even if it killed him.

I couldn't ignore the feeling of guilt in my chest anymore, though, and I knew that I needed to start helping myself. Having Adrian here made me feel safe, but I knew it couldn't last like this forever. Not without hurting Dimitri. And I knew Adrian was right - I did love Dimitri. I did need him. And in order to let him back into my life I needed to start facing my fears.

"Adrian?" I asked as I sat contemplating on the bed, Adrian beside me attempting to read one of Dimitri's westerns. Judging by the frown on his face though, I had a feeling he didn't quite enjoy it in the same way Dimitri did.

"Mm?"

"I want to go out."

Adrian's eyes widened briefly before he sat up straighter and closed the book, placing it gently down next to him. "Out?"

"Yes. Outside. I don't want to stay in here anymore."

"Okay, that's good…" He responded, only a slight confusion lacing his voice. "Where do you want to go?"

I hadn't thought that far ahead. I only knew that I wanted to try and leave the apartment. I was isolating myself up here out of fear and I knew deep down that in order to start feeling better, to start living again, I needed to push myself out of my comfort zone. I thought it would be best to go somewhere familiar, somewhere I felt at home.

"The gym."

"Well come on then, let's go. You get dressed, I'll wait out there," Adrian said with a smile on his face before heading towards the door, leaving me to get changed out of my sweatpants and hoodie.

"Adrian?" I called out, stopping him in his tracks.

"Yeah?"

"Can you call Lissa and ask her to come? I want to see her."

"I'm sure she'd love to see you." Adrian's grin widened, practically reaching his ears, and he turned away once more.

Once I was dressed we left the apartment, with Adrian informing Dimitri - who was sitting staring at what I recognised was Nathan's file – where we were headed. Dimitri seemed surprised, but I didn't miss the glint of pride behind his eyes.

The short walk to the gym was uneventful, and I was surprisingly not as afraid as I thought I would be, even with other people walking the streets. Adrian and I waited for Lissa outside the gym, and I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard her voice calling my name in the distance.

"Rose!"

I turned around to see Lissa sprinting towards us.

Alone.

When she reached us, she immediately engulfed me in a tight hug, and immediately I felt so much better having seen my best friend.

"Where are your guardians?" I asked once she pulled away.

"I snuck out."

"Liss!" I exclaimed in shock, as Adrian just snorted next to us.

"What? I knew you'd be uncomfortable with them here and I wanted to see you - needed to see you," she explained with a shrug of her shoulders. "I missed you, Rose. I'm so glad you're okay. We were all so worried."

"I missed you too, Lissa," I replied, pulling her into another hug. "I can't believe you snuck out without any of the Queen's guard noticing. I thought my team were at least half good at their jobs."

"Well you can reprimand them when you come back to work. If you come back to work, that is… How are you feeling, Rose?"

"I'm okay," I said, but the furrowing of her brows told me she didn't believe me. "Honestly, Liss. I'm okay. Adrian's been helping me."

"Not Dimitri?"

"He's tried to," Adrian interjected.

Lissa must have sensed the warning tone in Adrian's voice as she quickly dropped the subject and plastered a smile back onto her face.

"So what are we doing here, Rose? Adrian and I aren't exactly the 'gym-going' types."

I chuckled. "I know, but I wanted to get out, go somewhere familiar. You don't have to work out, I just wanted some company."

The three of us entered the gym, and to my delight it was completely deserted. Adrian and Lissa followed me into one of the workout studios before pulling up two chairs at the side of the room while I began with running some lengths of the room.

Adequately warmed up, I pulled one of the standing punch bags to the centre of the room, practicing as many different moves as I could. I was pleased to see that my form hadn't deteriorated much, and I was able to perform almost all of the moves perfectly.

Nathan's hold on me hadn't affected my abilities too much.

Fuck you… I thought as I dealt a punch. You can't hurt me…

Punch.

You can't stop me…

Punch.

I'm still me…

Punch.

I'm still strong…

Punch.

I can still defend myself…

Punch.

You're going to pay for how you hurt me…

Punch.

I could feel my anger bubbling inside me and before I knew it, I was no longer attacking the punching bag. It was him. In my mind, Nathan stood in front of me and my body and mind were screaming at me to kill him. To make him hurt. To make him pay. I struck out at him, landing blows as hard as I could, ignoring the increasing pain in my hands, until I heard voices calling out behind me, drawing me from my rage.

"Rose!"

"Rose, stop!"

"Rose!"

Ceasing my attack, I fell to the ground, bringing my knees up to my chest as I sat out of breath. I looked down at my hands, which were now raw and bloody. Judging by the pain radiating from my fingers, I had a feeling they were broken.

Shit.

A flash of blonde appeared in my vision and I looked up to see Lissa kneeling in front of me, Adrian standing just behind her, worry and concern etched on both their faces.

"Rose, you're okay now. I promise."

"I just feel so…" How did I feel? "Violated," I stated bitterly.

Sadness flashed across Lissa's jade green eyes.

"I've only ever been with Dimitri. I gave Dimitri everything and now… I can't say that anymore. Dimitri isn't the only person I've been with..."

"Oh Rose…"

"Adrian says Dimitri still loves me, but… how? How can he still love me when he's not the only one that's had me anymore?"

"Rose – Dimitri would do anything for you, he'd walk to the ends of the Earth for you. He practically has already. He adores you. He always will."

I looked up into Adrian's solemn eyes, who nodded his agreement. I sighed dejectedly.

Everything was such a mess…

"Can I heal your hands please?" Lissa asked, drawing my attention back to her.

I nodded slowly, before Lissa reached out and took them in her own. I winced as she touched them, but I soon felt the warmth of Spirit rush through me until the pain disappeared.

"You know, I did this for Dimitri not too long ago."

"You did?" I asked, confused. When did this happen? "Why?"

Lissa took a deep breath. "He lost it. He was so afraid for you and he felt helpless because he couldn't find you and he ended up snapping and destroying the whole apartment. His whole hands were bruised." She reached out and gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "It killed him when you were gone, Rose. He was so scared. You could see it in his eyes - they lost their sparkle."

"I told you, Little Dhampir," Adrian added.

Lissa nodded her agreement.

"Let him help you."

Hi everyone!

I feel like I haven't interacted with many of you for a while and I feel like I should, so leave me a little comment telling me how you've been! As for me, I've been suuuper stressed with assignments but, thankfully, tomorrow I am submitting my final one for the semester!

Just another quick note: I've been developing an idea for a new story, 'No Strings Attached', while I've been procrastinating from working, so look forward to seeing that at some point in the future. I'm not going to post it until nearer the end of this story though (which is actually in about 10/11 chapters or so!), so that way I'm not spinning too many plates at the same time.

H x