Hey guys! Great news! xxMoonlitexx is updating her stories again, and so am I! Rasi and I are finally back in business on our Avengers AU Collab, so maybe check it out if you have time?
Thank you Kurt50Alien and Professor R.J Lupin1 for reviewing!
Guest Reviews:
Aitty: "I. Fucking. Swear. If. Evva. Kills. Him. I will write a (decent) fight scene where I murder Evva." I. Agree. Whole. Heartedly.
AGrapeWithNoSoul: "-*sigh* Doctor Strange was wearing the Time Stone around his neck in the last scene. Continuity, what's that?
-I'll admit I laughed at "teh crying bitch Dobby Maguire." Even Hanna is confused by all these Spider-Man reboots! Why does it not surprise me that she prefers Andrew Garfield's Spidey to Tom Holland? Although you'd think her favorite would be emo fake-edgy Peter from Spider-Man 3. He seems her type." 1. *Space is warped and time is bendable* 2. It figures she'd like my least favorite Spiderman. And I imagine even xxMoonlitexx would sense the waves of Uncool wafting from Emo Peter.
Note...I watched Thor 3 an it kicked multiple ass! She speaks truthfully! Also lol you ppl said Loki would never be on a team 'The Revengers' well guess what...you were wrong an I was prooved, it said rite there in teh movie! Yeah yeah yeah, rub it in. Although he wasn't really on the Team, though. At least, not for more than five minutes.
21...The Gladiater Rink
So tehn Ohhh! *wince* I can't read... I kicked Spidermans ass. ...Wait, that's it? Oh thank God. I Guess even xxMoonlitexx couldn't hurt bring herself to really hurt Spidey. Then he was all gone Hopefully to be never seen again but, suddently a rainbow lite fluckered thru the door! It was...a portel!
I stared with wondermint So, is wondermint like, a naturally occurring plant or some sort of artificial flavoring? "What is this wondermint" I said? What, why the question mark, are you not sure you actually said it?!
A finger busted from this portel, it was...Loki! If there ever was a jackass to make his grand entrance with a middle finger, it would be this jackass. He was wearin his horny helmet an everything.
"Omg Loki why are you here" I damanded "Also Im the Sorcer Supremo now" I said said this not be bragful *claims she's not a braggart* but cause I wanted him to know of my bad assry. *literally gives definition of bragging*
"Good, now thou mustard use this 'gift' of magicks" Loki said "There is grave danger in Assgard, I tried to warn thou sooner but, I was farting around watching community theater and pretending to be Odin kidnapped by Docter Strange so I had to escape"
Suddently, another figurn busted from the portel, also! It was...Thor! Yay!
"Thor what they fuk" No! No they do not! I said all confust.
"No hes on our side now, we must fight as 1 team" Explaned Loki. But I knew he was goin to bertray him later anyway. Because Loki is literally that predictable. But that was acutely ok cause he would only betray Thor an some other ppl but never me.
"Yes we are simply...Revengers" Said Thor mightly, Hey, in this universe the OG Revengers consisted entirely of villains. So is Thor evil now?! he acutely had short hair now an wasnt ugly *read: blonde* any more, he was maybe hot but not like Loki but,not like a sheeple fish ether. He is hot like a chiseled Roman statue of a mighty general of the Republic, going off in his hot sleeveless armor to conquer the hordes with his hotness an also epic lightening powers! ... Shuttup, I like Thor, okay?!
"Ok so whats this danger" I said askfully.
"It is...our evil sister Hella, shes the godness of Death an Odin just died so she busted from a potrel and now she wants to take over Ass Guard Assgard with a dead skulleton army, also a wold" Explaned Thor.
My blood snurled at this distrage "She cant do that... Ass Guard Assgard is for Loki not Hella" And Thor's just standing there, the realization overcoming him that he's surrounded by psychopaths. Also I didnt care the Odin was dead cause he was old & evilish. Holiday Fun Fact: One of the many disparate folk figures woven together to create good ole Saint Nick was, in fact, Odin. So if you hate Odin, you hate Santa!
"Wtf where is she now" I yelled.
"Shes in Ass Guard Assgard" Said Thor, sadly "We must stoppest her!"
But rite then, somethin rainbowful sucked us all up, there was spin an we apparated on a strange garbaged planet!
"Omg what happened tho" I yelled.
"Hella teleporteled us" Yelled Loki "This is the gladiater rink planet" Sakaar, actually. Its called Sakaar. But if you think War Machine's name is Roads and Ronan has an eight pack, I can't expect you to remember something like that.
Instently a bunch of bonty hunters garbbed us all! Well maybe they wouldn't have found you if Loki hadn't decided to yell the exposition at the top of his lungs! Great going there, genius! (I could of beat them all exept they cheated an put a electrickal zipper on my neck to nutralize my magicks ok) Wait, Evva never mentioned Thor loosing his hammer, right? So with the combined strength of a full Thor, a Mary Sue, and... whatever Loki does, they should have totally been able to defeat a couple trash bandits!
They put us to a werd ass looking man in eye liner But not too much because he wasn't gay? an slickly robes "Im the Game Master" He said to us. ALL HAIL JEFF GOLDBLUM! ALL HAIL JEFF GOLDBLUM!
"Your teh gay master lol whut" I snided.
"Well normally I would melt u for this affensive Please. If someone said this to the real Game Master, he'd probably be like "Yes, well, that too" saying but,no" He said "Your too powerful melt like a sad small ice cube I must use this insult at some point in my life, instead I want you all to fight in my gladiater rink, its like the Hunger Games ok" It's not really like the Hunger Games, its more like... Super Smash Bros? Maybe? Help me out, guys!
"Thou are tryin to kill us, well I say thou never... we would rather die" Said Thor *facepalm*"Also Hunger Games sucks" (He doesn't mean it, he just really doesn't like Gale. Hemsworth sibling rivalry and all that. But not reallu he just said this to be insaltive so it did not matter the truth)
"excuse me did u say somethin well never mind I dont care bitch" Said the Gay Master "Lol" If anyone could make this dialogue work, its Jeff Goldblum he threw us into the rink, there was a mightly crowd thirsted for blood. But they werent gettin mine, I knew now...I must be the new champon-winer! You already are the Champion Whiner!
But rite then I heared a noise like thudnern but it was thundern, it wasnt even Thor it was simpy...teh Increduble HulK!
Wait, wasn't Hulk on honeymoon with Thor in space an stuff?! How'd he end up here?!
Captain Marvel- So, when this movie first came out, I came out of the theater still pumped with movie-going adrenaline and wrote a glowing blurb on my fanfiction encouraging everyone to see it. Now that the excitement has died down... yeah, my opinions have soured a little. This film is... definitely one of the weaker MCU entries. It has its highs, don't get me wrong. The special effects and cinematography are good for the most part, although the opening in KreeLand is a bit overstimulating, fast, and confusing, although I feel like its supposed to disorient us as much as it disorients Danvers. Most of the supporting cast is really good, especially the cat. I loved the cat. The plot is, however, rather mixed. It looks good on paper but has some pacing problems and the ending just lacks punch. But that may be because of how little I sympathize with the main character. Seriously, in every MCU film up until this point, no matter how mediocre the rest of the film was, our hero was always great. But Captain Marvel is just really, really bland. And kind of stuck up. Brie Larson acts like a wooden plank in this role, she doesn't have the emotional depth needed to make an OP character sympathetic, like Thor is, she doesn't have the charisma needed for us to like her even in her jerk moments, like Tony, we keep being told she's such a good person but up until the final act everything she's ever done is for her own ego or selfish gain, and even helping the Skrulls feels more like an act of pettiness against the Kree than actually wanting to protect innocents. She has very little chemistry with anyone, especially the 100% forgettable main villain Yon Rogg, and cannot hold her own against the other, better characters. I seriously wish Monica Rambeau had become Captain Marvel instead of Carol Danvers because she is ten times more fun to watch. Also, this movie makes some seriously stupid long term decisions. Making the Skrulls be innocent refugee good guys all along is a cute plot twist the first time you watch it, but they just threw away a chance for some really interesting grey vs grey morality conflicts for Danvers, as well as any chance of having a Secret Invasion event down the line. And now every time we watch the Avengers, or Age of Ultron, or any other movie involved a major threat to Earth, you wonder why Nick Fury didn't just contact Captain Marvel. Thank God Wonder Woman was the first female superhero movie instead of this turd.