Operation: Flanks for nothing.

Disclaimer: Skymaster23 has no connection to any RL actors. Slightly AU.

Having just gotten over the mess in Greece, Sgt. Slaughter is polishing the Triple-T when he hears the phone ringing. "Yes, what is it, Dial-Tone?" He asks.

"Sgt., dis here's Beachhead." He heard instead.

"Where's Dial-Tone or those other two?"

"Dat first one's wut ah want to tawlk about, honestly." Beachhead said in an unusual tone. "Ah ain't sure how or why, but da D.O.D. just promoted him, Lifeline, and even Shipwreck awl da way up tuh Colonels!" He explained into the handset in his right, only to somehow hear The Sarge yell from his left.

"They did what?!"

Across the Atlantic, Breaker is listening to Hawk, Duke, and Flint talking shop with Dr. Mettier and other N.A.T.O. representatives when he gets a message from Washington. The radioman goes wide-eyed before bursting into the assembly room. "General Hawk...pardon me, sirs...General, we've got a big problem."

"Did that big yellow bastard find out about this meeting?" Duke asks him.

"Oh, it's not that, Duke...; but it might be almost as bad."

"Well what is it, son?" Hawk asks him.

"A fax just came in from Beachhead asking why Lifeline, Dial-Tone, and especially Shipwreck were all bumped up to Colonel before he was."

"A navy colonel?...Hawk, this has to be Cobra's doing." Flint tells him.

"Right; you stay and keep this meeting going while Duke and I head back to the states."

At the Joe-ette's quarters, Scarlett is dusting off a picture Gung-Ho took of himself next to Ben Turpin's walk of fame star during the California mission when Crash-Cart walks in. "How's it going?"

"Bite me." Bree tells her as she heads to the fridge for a beer.

"That well, huh." Scarlett replies as though not having heard anything.

"I was real amped when i heard about Lifeline's promotion at first, but now I'm not so sure." Bree says next. "If it was just him, it'd be no big deal, but those other two dunces keep contradicting his authority. Dial-Tone for example..."

Much later, as the base's door is forced open, Stalker, Wild Bill, Crash-Cart, Snow-Job, and some Greenshirts are pinned in the barracks outside. "Ah knew we'd have us a last round-up someday; jus' not under dese puh'ticulah circumstances." The pilot says while one of the latter goes down.

"If that's the case; which...which one of you'll agree to put one right between my eyes before those goons get a chance to..." Crash-cart says as she closes the Greenshirt's eyes for the last time.

"That may not be necessary. I spent a little time with a garter snake who works on those sub-tanks, and she let me in on a little secret about the specs." Stratton tells them. "They have a turret depression angle of one degree; it only seems more than that by shifting the ballast of the opposing side."

"And that helps us how?" Stalker asks him right before Snow-Job tells them about a C-160 with two parachutes coming out.

"Yee-haw, it's Hawk and Duke!"

"That's how." Stratton tells him as he jumps out the window, followed by Taputapu.

"You're not getting promoted past those three losers without me, rattle-ass!"/"Former rattle-ass!" The two tell each other as the start running. "Yo Joe!"

Stalker curses at the pair before grinning as they split up, giving him a chance to pick off the random Viper. Stratton gives the other man a boost to take over the gun. "Where do ya think yer going, ya sons of bitches!" Taputapu shouts as he mows down some of the Vipers that are retreating from the Joe's counterattack.

Once the skirmish is over, Sgt. Slaughter arrives to get an explanation. "-And that's how it happened. Mainframe and Tollbooth are digging up the bypass machine as we speak." Hawk tells him.

"I see...but what about those two greenshirts who rushed one of the sub-tanks?"

"Pvt's Stratton and taputapu?" Hawk asks back. "Well, they did pull a gutsy move last night, I'll admit; but that doesn't fix their attitude problems."

"Which means it's a good thing I'm here, isn't it." Sgt. Slaughter suggests to him.

"If you think you can change those two, be my...guest?" Duke is saying when they hear a commotion from his right.

"Cobra is to be insane if they return after General's beating, yes?" Greenshirt Ayvazyan says to a crowd as he picks up a half broken 2x4. "Next time Varujan sees snake-men, they are breaking like this!" He shouts while slamming it on his head.

"Heh...I'll take that guy, too." The Sarge tells them.

Chapter twenty-three.