27 – THE FIRE EMBLEM

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The Third Timeline

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I have to lean against the wall several times to catch my breath and steady my dizzy head as I walk to Chrom's chamber, but eventually I make it and open the door. He is passed out on the bed and I hate to wake him.

I pull off my clothes and slip under the sheets next to him, watching his peaceful face. I wasn't sure what I would feel after having resigned myself to the fact I would probably never see him again. I am surprised to feel nothing but affection.

Looking back on my actions, I should feel shame, for leaving him behind, for risking the life of our child. I understand what Henry is thinking right now. I can never deserve a love like his. But I know nonetheless that I can no longer continue to disregard Chrom's will. All I can do is earn his trust again and earn my own.

I lie beside him for some time until I drift off myself. I wake up to Chrom's startled voice. "Gray!"

I open my eyes to meet his and smile. Chrom stares at me wordlessly for a moment, then puts his arms around me and almost crushes me in a hug.

I kiss his neck softly and whisper, "I love you."

"You're freezing," he says and tucks the blankets around us tighter. He moves his warm hands across my skin.

"I'm fine," I reply. "Thanks to you, we are both alive."

Chrom kisses me, then pulls back to say something, but he can't seem to find the words. He kisses me again, over and over again. His lips move across my cheek, my neck, my shoulders, my chest, as if he still cannot believe I'm here.

"I love you so much," he whispers between kisses.

He moves down to press his lips gently across my stomach and hips. "And I.. I can't even begin to say-"

"I know," I tell him.

He rests his head against my stomach and holds his breath. "I can't hear any heartbeat," he says worriedly.

"It's too early to hear anything," I laugh. "Give it time." I pull him back up to kiss his lips. "We have all the time in the world now."

"Do we?" he asks. "I've thought that before, but…"

"But I betrayed your trust," I finish.

He stares at me. "You were all but dead, Gray. You had seconds left at best."

"I know."

"What I did – that magic – I don't know if I can do it again. Not with that kind of power."

"You won't have to. I promise."

"I want to believe you," he says. "Really, I do. But you left me there sleeping and went out to die. And you and our… our child, you would have, but for a miracle. I begged you to trust me and you just left. I didn't even know that I would be losing more than just you if you died. You didn't even tell me."

I lean my forehead against his and close my eyes. "I have no apologies that will matter. I have always been reckless and I've hurt you. I know. I know all too well. I'm not going to defend my choices. They have no defense."

"What are you going to do? Are you going to run away again and try to spare me from yourself?"

"No, I'm not. I'm going to let you make your own decisions for once. And I will abide by them."

"How do I know that for certain?" he asks.

"I don't know how to explain it," I say. "It feels too simple to say that something died in me, but it did. My magic is gone, but it's more than that. I'm not saying my nature has changed. No one changes so quickly. But I want to change; I will, slowly, diligently, I will earn back your trust, should you wish me to."

He is silent for a moment, then says tentatively, "Do you love me, Gray?"

"I do. I've told you so many times that I love you more than anything. And as much as I do love you, I think until now it wasn't more than I wanted to be a hero and to get revenge. But now… I mean it now when I say anything. Nothing is more important than that, no one's life, no one's battle. Just you. You and Morgan. I have no doubts, nothing telling me to set aside my feelings for the sake of something bigger. You are it."

"Morgan," he murmurs.

"You said-"

"I know." He smiles slightly. "I wasn't sure if you remembered."

He puts his hand on my stomach and I enjoy the warmth and gentleness of his touch.

"Chrom… I'm making promises to you, but that doesn't mean I'm asking for your forgiveness."

"What do you mean?"

"I've taken your nature for granted too much. You are too forgiving, too trusting. You said once I shouldn't try to change it, and I'm not. I'm simply saying that I will never exploit it again by asking you to forget things that shouldn't be forgotten."

"I'm not going to forget all this," he says. "I'm going to hold you to your word, for the rest of our lives. I don't think I could be blind to you ever again. But maybe that's a good thing." He moves his hand and reaches up to touch my face. "You're shaking. Are you in pain? What's wrong?"

I close my eyes and put my hand over his. "I'm- I'm fine. I just…"

He kisses me. "Stop, please, let's stop talking of this. We will make sense of everything with time. I don't want your promises right now. I just… I just want you."

"I love you."

"And I love you. I don't intend to let anything change that."

I kiss him back with a passion that seems to startle him. "Gray, be careful, you're-"

"I'm fine," I say. "Please, I want to feel close to you."

He smiles and runs his hands over my body. I slip my hands in his hair and wrap my legs around him, pulling his body as close to mine as possible. My body is still too weak for arousal, but I kiss him until we are both breathless and worn out.

Chrom pulls the covers up almost over our heads and nestles me against him, resting my head on his chest with a hand in my hair. Finally, I begin to feel warm again.

Hours pass, and I almost drift off to sleep again, but my mind is too full of relief and happiness to calm down. I get up and walk over to the table to get a cup of water. Bringing it back to Chrom, I sit down next to him and say, "I have something I need to talk to you about."

"I thought we were done talking for a while. Come back to bed," he says.

"I'm afraid this can't wait. I need your help, and Emmeryn and Lissa's help. Your blood carries a healing magic like no one else's. I wouldn't ask for anything more of your family if I were up to me. But I have no other ideas and I need your help to save my family."

"Henry?" Chrom guesses.

I nod. "He's in so much pain. I have to help him."

"We've already tried to heal him," Chrom says. "I don't know what else we can do. I'm sorry."

"I know. But it's not his body that's in danger, it's his magic, his mind. Everything that was dragging me down into darkness, it's taken over him full force, and it's because of me. He was always able to control his own dark magic; but with the power of mine in his soul, it's driving him mad."

"If there's anything we can do, we will. I promise you."

I take Chrom's hand in mine. "Thank you. I don't want to lose him. He's given so much for me."

"I understand."

"Were the four Emblem crystals recovered after the fight?" I ask. "I know there was- well, there was nothing left of Validar's body but he would have a pack of things, maybe with the body of his wyvern?"

Chrom looks at me curiously. "We did find them. We brought the Emblem and the five crystals back here even though they won't be of much use now. They're still a part of our heritage."

"Henry and I broke the magic in the Fire Emblem, but Emmeryn's crystal remained intact and Validar's crystals as well. Someone had to put magic into the Fire Emblem to begin with. I'm wondering if we can do it again."

"I have no idea," he says.

"I don't either. But we can try. Even if it just holds a little, it might be enough. Will you talk with Emmeryn and Lissa about it? I know it's a lot to ask, but I'm out of ideas. If I don't try to do something about Henry's magic, he's going to kill himself. He would have already if he could."

Chrom nods. "I'll speak with them. You are right: we owe Henry a great debt."

By nightfall, my strength has mostly returned to my body. After an elixir and some strong tea, I feel like myself again, despite the gnawing cold still lingering inside me.

I prepare with a heavy heart to go find Henry, but I hear a knock at my door and he walks in. "It's nearly midnight," he says.

"Did you keep your word?" I ask him.

He nods, his expression tight with pain. "I told Olivia everything she wanted to hear."

"Good."

"What was the point?" he asks.

"The point was for you to stop being an ass for one day."

"Well I at least tried." He shifts uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact. "So what's your plan? I don't see any weapons. Are you going to strangle me? Because that's really not my preferred method. I mean, I have standards-"

"Shut up, Henry," I interrupt. "Follow me."

I put on my coat and leave the room, heading towards the outside of the castle. I'm not sure if Henry will obey but after a moment, I hear him shuffling behind me. I let him catch up to me and glance at his slumped posture and shaky steps.

"You alright?" I ask. "Olivia said you haven't slept or eaten in days."

"Couldn't decide on a last meal," he says. "Definitely didn't want it to be shit Ylissean food."

I reach out my hand and he takes it begrudgingly. I keep him steady on his feet as we walk through the quiet castle. Every so often, he looks at me out of the corner of his eye suspiciously.

"You're full of shit, Gray. What are you going to do? Throw me in the river? I'm an excellent swimmer. And I can talk to fish."

"You cannot talk to fish."

"Try me."

"Will you just shut up and trust me?"

"I trust you about as far as I can throw you. And I'm not going to throw a pregnant woman anywhere."

"Good to know."

I lead him out from the castle to the courtyard where Lilly is saddled and waiting for us. She whinnies worriedly at Henry until he strokes her forehead and plants a kiss on her muzzle. He whispers something to her that I can't hear and she snorts and stamps her hoof.

I climb up into the saddle and hold out my hand to help Henry up. Lilly is impatient to leave the city, but I rein her in to a walk, not sure if either Henry or I are strong enough to hold onto the saddle at a gallop. I take the shortest path I know through the city and out into the starlit fields beyond the wall.

Several miles away is a small copse of trees in a dell between the rolling hills. In the shelter of the trees, I see Stormtreader tethered. Chrom is waiting for us with a pack slung across his back.

"Ah, I see," Henry says as I pull Lilly to a stop. "You're going to have him do it. I guess it's fair play. Olivia did kill you."

We dismount and Henry walks with me towards Chrom, a weird smile on his face. Chrom greets us and Henry just winks at him. Chrom gives him a strange look and glances at me questioningly.

"Thank you for meeting us here," I tell him. He nods and watches the two of us warily, his hand resting inches away from the hilt of his sword. I nod at him with a reassuring expression.

"I appreciate the theatricality of this journey," Henry says, sitting down on a fallen log. "But I'm exhausted. Can we cut to the chase? If you two prepared speeches, I swear to hell I'm going to-"

He stops mid-sentence when Chrom pulls the Fire Emblem out of his pack.

"What the hell?" he swears.

"I'm changing the terms of our agreement," I say. "But I'll keep my word. I'll put you out of your misery."

"With that? What are you going to do, club me with it? Gods, Gray. I figured you'd be merciful. Olivia gave you a quick little stab, and you're going to kill me with blunt force trauma?" He gestures at Chrom. "Please, prince, just use your sword. It'll be quicker."

"No one's going to kill you," Chrom says. "But we're going to get rid of your magic, like you did with Gray."

"You can't. Even if you did, you think I'd survive a month without it? Look at me! I'm useless."

"I'll teach you how to use a sword," Chrom says, with a slight smile. "Now, listen to Gray. She has a plan."

"Your plans have worked so excellently in the past," he says sharply at me.

I ignore him and ask, "The spell you cast on me, it was like your pain spell, wasn't it? When I cast it on you in Gangrel's castle, I could feel it connect with your magic. I drew out your pain, but I also drew some of your magic. The two are connected, dark magic and pain. They are both part of our mind."

Henry is staring at me and even in the dim light, I think it is fear in his expression. "Don't fuck with my magic, Gray. Don't you fucking do it."

"I can't, and neither can Chrom. I'm not going to drain the magic from you. I can't. But part of the drain spell isn't just taking the other's person energy, it's giving them some of yours. You take their pain; you give your energy and strength. So you're going to pull healing magic from the Fire Emblem and push the dragon magic out into it. It's the only item that can hold magic in our realm. We can't put the dragon magic into anyone else, but we can store it here."

"This is how you create a weapon of mass destruction, Gray. You don't want our magic in that thing, even were the spell to work."

"I know. We will find a way to destroy it. We have before."

"With our dragon magic!"

I shake my head. "There are other kinds of powerful magic in this world."

"Of all the moon-brained ideas in the world this is the worst one I have ever heard," he says. He is gripping the roots of his silver hair and his hands are trembling. "I'm not going to do this. I hate my magic, but what the fuck do I have without it?"

I take his hands in mine and say, "You have so many things. Try the spell, Henry."

"And if it doesn't work?" he asks.

"Make it work," Chrom says firmly, his hand on the hilt of his sword. "My child needs a family and you're all Gray has."

Henry laughs. "What are you threatening me with, here? I could kill you both with one finger. Hell, I don't even think I would need that! I could give a good sneeze and blast you to pieces."

Chrom takes the Fire Emblem and throws it down on the ground in front of Henry. "Do it. Now. Stop hiding behind your words. It's time to act."

I half expect Chrom's fierce words to stir up angry in Henry, but they have a much different effect on him. He knees down beside the Fire Emblem and takes a deep breath. Then looks up at me. "Alright. Stand back."

I move away and take Chrom's hand in my own, grateful that he is here with us. He has a way of inspiring courage in people, even in someone like Henry.

Henry places his hands on the Fire Emblem's surface and closes his eyes. His lips twist into a growl and his body begins to shudder. Unable to feel the energy in him with my own, I am left to watch the visible effects of his struggle. Somehow it is far more unsettling.

Light flares to life in his hands and into the Fire Emblem. Henry grits his teeth and pushes his magic harder into its metal. I see his fingers clench around the shield and his body go rigid as he tries to pull the healing magic into his body.

The Fire Emblem's surface shines as its magic is called upon, the magic Emmeryn, Lissa and Chrom poured into it with all the energy they had.

I see tendrils of green light swirling up around Henry's arms, piercing his skin and flowing into his body. He gasps and for a moment his face looks incredibly peaceful and he smiles. Then he shoves his arms outwards and pushes the Fire Emblem deep into the dirt, throwing himself on top of it.

Sparks and flames and pulses of magic shoot from him and he gathers the storm into a focused point and hurls it through his hands into the Emblem. A yell escapes his lips and a few curses, then he is screaming, not a scream for the rage of battle, but a horrible sound, like a dying animal, screams of fear and agony.

I grab Chrom and hold onto him to keep myself from running to Henry's side and stopping him. Chrom's teeth are clenched and a look of pain is on his own face as we watch. He puts his arms around me and whispers something in my ear I can't hear.

Henry's throat is torn from screaming and yet his magic is raging on, burning through his body, scorching the earth around him.

"We have to stop him," I say, speaking from my heart and not my mind. "This is all my fault!"

Chrom keeps hold of me and says, "No, Gray. Wait. Trust him."

The force of the dragon magic begins to wane, and Henry's body sags wearily. But the magic is still flowing from his hands into the Fire Emblem. He looks on the edge of collapse.

I tug at Chrom's arm and the two of us run over to kneel beside him. Chrom puts his hands on Henry's shoulder and I wrap my arms around him.

"I've got you," I say. "I've got you. Finish the spell. Come on."

He is gasping for breath and his whole body is shaking, but he brings flames to his palms again and pushes the last of his energy into the drain spell. A violent shiver wrenches his body and a pulse of dark magic resonates through the Fire Emblem. Then the spell dies and Henry falls back into my arms, unconscious.

I hold him and brush his hair out of his deathly pale face. "Did it work?" I ask Chrom.

"How do I tell?"

"Reach out with your magic, try to feel his energy. It should feel like a warmth in him. You should feel it in your hands. Please, try."

Chrom puts his hand on Henry's chest and closes his eyes, drawing on the healing magic he doesn't fully understand yet. His expression grows concerned. "I can't feel anything."

"Do you feel his heartbeat?"

"I… I think so. Yes. I can feel his heart pumping. I can feel his lungs too. But I can't feel any warmth or energy."

"Focus your magic on his core. It sits in your chest, between your lungs, like a little ember inside you. Do you feel it?"

"Will I be able to feel it if his magic is exhausted?" Chrom asks.

"Yes, but very faintly. Even when my magic was worn out after a bad spell, it would be dormant inside me, not gone."

Chrom puts his other hand on Henry's chest and concentrates intently. "There's… there's nothing."

I breathe a sigh of relief and rest my head against Henry's. "Maybe he did it then. Maybe it's really gone."

Chrom moves over to the Fire Emblem and touches it tentatively. It burns him and he yanks his hand away. Carefully, he holds his palm an inch away from its surface and searches it with his energy. He swears under his breath and falls back.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"It's burning – not just the metal. It's like it's burning from the inside. It's terrifying. I've never felt anything like that. It's…" He trails off and looks over at me. "That- that was inside you?"

I don't know what to say and my face flushes with shame. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" he says. "Sorry that some fucked up bastard put that magic inside you?" He swears again and shakes his head. "I never understood it. I still don't understand magic. This power in me, it's so strange but it feels familiar, like it's just part of my body, like any other part of me, even if I didn't realize it before. I don't know how to say it. But this… whatever horrible magic is in this, it doesn't feel like a person's energy. I know you. I know how you feel, I know your spirit. This isn't you. It isn't Henry. It isn't anyone. It's just- it's evil."

"I had magic of my own," I say. "I really believe so. But it got so wrapped up in Validar's magic, I wanted its power too badly. It became so intertwined with my own that the one couldn't survive without the other."

"Are you going to miss your power… this power?" he asks.

"Yes. But I am still glad it's gone. It couldn't exist in me without killing me eventually or driving me mad like it did Validar. And it couldn't exist in our child. If it hadn't been taken from me, they would have it someday too."

Chrom gets up and walks away from the Fire Emblem, but he still looks shaken. "I think maybe I understand you a little better now," he says. "All the worst parts of you, I felt them in that thing, that destructiveness, recklessness. I don't know how… how did you hold that inside you for so long and yet still be so loving?"

I don't know how to answer him for a moment. It is hard to put my thoughts into words. Finally, I say, "Because it fit me. Not the best of me, but like you said, it fit the worst. I think that's how magic is. It's something we're born with, but it's also something our lives shape within us."

Chrom reaches out and picks up Henry's unconscious body, carrying him over to Lilly. "Here you go, girl," he says, lifting Henry onto her saddle. "He's going to be alright now."

She whinnies and bumps his shoulder with her muzzle.

"She's thanking you," I say. "She was so worried about him, but she trusted us to help him."

"You can talk to her?" he says. "I thought you needed magic for that!"

"I really don't think there's any kind of magic that lets you talk to animals. Henry's just… well, he's crazy."

Chrom laughs. "Gods, I hope Morgan gets my family's sanity and your family's good looks, not the other way around."

"Morgan will be the best of us all," I say. "I know that for certain."

I climb into the saddle and hold onto Henry's body. Carefully, Chrom wraps the Fire Emblem in his cloak and places it back in the bag. As he gets back into Stormtreader's saddle, I say, "Thank you, Chrom, for everything."

"This is how it's going to be from now on," he says. "My sword, your crazy ideas, and a few healing spells to patch us up."

Stormtreader whinnies and I smile at Chrom. "Storm says that she forgot to congratulate you on being a father."

"Fuck you, Gray," he laughs. "She's probably just hungry."

I lean towards Storm and give her a conspiratorial look. "Don't mind him. He doesn't understand animals."