Chapter 26:
She took the advice from the cops and volunteered to help Mary McDaniels wherever possible even if she didn't want her too.
"It'll take a while, but she'll come around. What we did was way worse." Detective Murphy explained when she asked how they managed to get back on Mary's good side. Even after they were members of a racist cult that tried to get Mary McDaniels out of office in favour of Mitch Conner.
"I'm done with Randy. I just want my friend back." She wished she'd listened to her. Even Alexander McDaniels – Mary's eldest son – and Officer Barbrady were trying to tell her Mary didn't want any of this, but she was too angry at the time to listen to reason.
"Getting the other women." Mitch coughed and named Laura Tucker, Linda Stotch and Maggie Yates as gossipy witches. "To stop talking shit about her will help. Mary's stubborn as fuck so it'll take a lot of ass kissing."
"Is it true?" She had to ask. Rumours spread quickly amongst the other survivors and even the new people Mary's parents had brought with them from Breckenridge knew about it. "She's pregnant?"
"She is?" Peterson confirmed it. "They're organising a supply run for baby stuff. You could volunteer for that."
"I heard the kid is your ex husband's." Murphy inhaled cigarette smoke. They'd just come back from a perimeter check and were taking a quick break before beginning construction on the wall.
"Don't say that to Mary's face whatever you do just don't." Mitch warned the other officers to keep their mouths shut. "I don't know about you but I don't want to get banished."
She was shocked to hear this information. "That baby isn't Randy's anyway. It's impossible for it to be my ex husband's child."
They looked dumbfounded. "What?"
"Randy micro waved his balls and gave himself testicular cancer." She remembered it well. Her ex husband was after medicinal weed and he didn't have a condition that would qualify him for it. He resorted to stupid and drastic measures to give himself a condition that would let him qualify for medicinal weed. "His balls are plastic. He couldn't even get me pregnant if he tried."
They were stunned. She knew they remembered the medicinal pot craze that led to dozens of men in South Park – not just Randy – giving themselves cancer just so they could get pot.
"You might want to tell Mary that." Peterson suggested with urgency. "She's freaking out about this."
He was right of course. Even though she knew Mary might not want to talk to her she had to try. She needed to know there was no way Randy Marsh could be the father of her unborn child.
XXXX
"We need to get out of here." She insisted leaving was urgent. Even though she hadn't found any evidence of the experiments Yates and Government Guy were talking about it was enough information for her to feel uncomfortable. "We can find shelter before it gets dark and head to the coast. It'll be safer there."
"I already asked to stay." She noticed Liane was eyeing Government Guy as he made his rounds through the party speaking to numerous guests. "This place has proper shelter, warm beds, hot showers and food."
"Classi?" The towel wandered up to them and offered them cold drinks. The sun was setting and the sky had turned vibrant shades of pink and orange. "It's a sight to see you man."
"Hey homie." She heard Towelie was alive and she remembered Mackey talking about experiments he and Towelie were working on for the Westwood and the big bad Government Guy. She figured she should ask the towel what the experiments were. "What's this about experiments?"
"Experiments?" Towelie instantly denied knowing anything about it and insisted she was being paranoid. He excused himself and didn't even look at her when he walked away.
"You should give this place a chance Classi." Liane obviously didn't see it. She was too caught up in the façade of the place to notice it for what it really was. "We could have a proper life here like before."
She was going mad because it was painfully obvious she was the only one who could see it. Since Towelie was no help she figured she could get to Mr. Mackey who ran around Westwood like a headless chicken. "I ain't staying here any longer than I have to. I'm packing my bags tonight. If you were smart you'd do the same."
She didn't even listen to Liane who assured her there was nothing to worry about. She was always taught to trust her instincts and her instincts told her she had to get out of this place sooner rather than later.
XXXX
"I still don't want to talk to you, but I guess I have to." She settled her young children in their nursery. It was time for their afternoon nap. Sharon had insisted on talking to her about Randy. "This isn't about the trial by combat is it?"
"No." Sharon looked nervous, but she also wanted to tell her something. "It's about your baby."
"I didn't plan on any of this. I will be keeping the child." She proceeded to pick up toys and baby clothes just for something to do.
"It's not Randy's." She stopped in her tracks and dropped the teddy bear she was holding when Sharon blurted this out.
"There's a chance it could be and I know you know it." Sharon didn't even seem mad any more. She didn't even know what they were talking about it.
"He's got plastic balls Mary." Even Sharon confirmed it. It was one of the first things her husband told her when she started panicking over the baby's paternity.
"Plastic balls?" She knew about the pot scheme, but not how it affected Randy Marsh.
"They're plastic prosthetic balls. He's sterile." Sharon assured her there was no possible way the baby growing in her womb was Randy's.
"He can't have any more kids? This baby is George's." She collapsed in her nursing chair in shock. She was so relieved. Her baby's father was George Barbrady not Randy Marsh.
"He couldn't even get me pregnant."Sharon told her of the scheme in more detail. Randy had even been told after his balls were removed and he was fitted with the prosthetics that he wouldn't be able to produce any more children.
While she was relieved her husband was the father she still felt the guilt over what she'd done. "I never wanted this. Does he realise he's sterile?"
"He's been told he's sterile. The doctors told me he's sterile. He should know it." She let Sharon help her back to her master bedroom so she could rest. She was starting to feel nauseated again.
"He thinks the baby's his." She covered herself in warm blankets. She still didn't have a champion for Randy's ridiculous trial by combat yet. She didn't even want to think about it. "I don't think he realises he's sterile."
"I'll make him realise." Sharon assured her before closing the door behind her and allowing her to rest.
XXXX
"I know I said I wouldn't sneak out again but we need to find out who can keep the zombies away." She announced as the kids were playing board games with the girls beating the boys in any game they played.
"You're mom will freak and I don't want to piss the mayor off." Kyle said as he rolled the dice and took his turn. They were playing Monopoly.
"Me either." Stan smirked as Kyle landed on Mayfair which Stan owned along with Park Lane. He laughed and insisted Kyle pay up rent. "You know you can't beat me at board games dude."
Kyle groaned and reluctantly handed over the money. Stan was the only player on par with the girls. She later learned that he started playing board games more seriously with his grandpa when he realised it kept him away from freemium games and his grandpa away from gambling and the pokie machines at the casino.
"I want to go outside anyway." She was getting bored staying inside. When they woke up that morning the cabin was surrounded by three feet of snow. The cops even had to clear the doorway just so they could get in and out of the cabin for their perimeter checks. The wall wasn't complete yet and her father, the cops and the council just put up the steel frame. The adults were organising another supply run, but if the weather kept up like this she knew her mother would call it off.
"Dude we can't even walk anywhere." Scott Malkinson lost two hundred dollars of his monopoly money to Wendy.
Dovahkiin looked out the window and noticed more snow coming down. "We may even get snowed in. Looks like Mr. Marsh is stuck in that barn."
"Don't even think about it poser." Her cousin Pete warned her against it. Peter and the Goth kids sat on the bay windows smoking and drinking coffee and reading occult books as they watched the snow fall outside. "I'm telling Aunt Mary if you even try. She said no teleporting. That rule includes you Timmy."
"T-Timmy." They both grumbled in frustration. She knew Timmy wanted to know who kept the zombies away as much as she did.
"At this rate we won't get to the experiment until spring." She reluctantly returned her attention to the game and took her turn.
XXXX
"This is inhumane!" He complained loudly. He knew the guards outside the barn could hear him. He'd had very little to eat, no water and he shivered through thin clothing. From what he could see outside the barn he was imprisoned in the property was covered in thick fresh snow. The wind blew through the cracks and his teeth started chattering. No matter what he tried he just couldn't get warm. "Can I at least get a jacket? I'm cold."
Murphy dropped a bucket of water on his head from the hay loft and left him to rot in his misery. Despite his situation he was determined to win his trial by combat. As far as he knew Mary hadn't chosen a champion yet. He had no idea who he would be fighting later that evening. The only thing that kept him going was the possibility Mary's baby was his child. He grinned knowing he got the better of the bumbling idiot Police Chief Barbrady.
If they thought he was harsh on them back at camp the others had no idea what was coming. Even though Mary hadn't officially agreed to anything he knew he'd be able to regain control as leader of the new South Park she was building. Once he did anyone who had wronged him would wish they hadn't.
"Keep it brief." Johnson was saying to Sharon when he let her in to see him.
"S-Sharon?" He was the last person he was expecting to see. "You're going to get me out right?" He only asked because even before the outbreak and no matter how sick and tired she was he could always get her to bail him out of jail when he needed her to.
"No." She said tartly. "You brought this on yourself Randy."
Taken aback he fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat. He could feel the pins and needles in his legs. "You always bail me out! Why are you here if you're not going to help me?"
"You're not the father of Mary's baby Randy you're sterile." It was a blow to his ego. Despite this he remained convinced he was the father.
"How do you know it isn't mine Sharon? Are you jealous I didn't get you pregnant?" She looked pissed and he didn't care if she punched him. He'd lost interest in her as a lover long before the outbreak even started.
"You have plastic balls Randy. The doctors told you this after you micro waved your balls." She reminded him of his scheme to get medicinal weed and it being the reason for his infertility. "You can't have any more kids with me or Mary McDaniels or anyone for that matter."
Another blow to the ego and there was only so much he could take as hot rage filled him. "The fat idiot isn't the father Sharon!"
"Just leave Mary and the first family alone!" Sharon stormed out when she had nothing else to say.
XXXX
"Mayor? May I come in?" It was PC Principal at the door and whatever he wanted to talk about seemed urgent. Knowing Peter Charles he wouldn't enter her room unless she gave him consent to do so.
"Come in." She'd settled in bed alongside Barbrady who just finished in the shower. They both needed rest and she wanted a nap before Randy's ridiculous trial that would be held in her equestrian arena later that evening. The temperature outside dropped and she knew she would need more fuel for the generators soon in order to keep the cabin powered and heated. She quickly added it to the supply run list she was working on before she'd had the chance to forget.
"I'll be your champion against Randy Marsh." She was shocked. PC Principal had children and she wondered what Principal Victoria would say.
"I'm confident I'll win and I get a free pass at Marsh every time he uses a micro aggression or says anything that isn't PC. I've already spoken to Vicky and she doesn't mind letting me do this." Something was bothering him. She could tell by looking at him.
"Why would you do this for me?" She didn't want to choose a champion herself and made sure that people who wanted to be the champion volunteered out of their own free will and not her influence. No matter how urgently she needed a champion.
"I'll admit I wish I didn't let him into the PC fraternity ma'am." She could see the guilt on his face and she didn't realise he regretted it as much as he did. "While I like it when other bros become PC I'm not okay when people take it too far. Nothing Randy Marsh has done since I recruited him has been PC."
"You realise this is a fight to the death right." Her husband was trying to read a Game of Thrones novel since it's likely where Randy's idea came from.
"I do and for my kids I won't die. They already lost their mother to the ads. They won't lose me too." Strong Woman had fled South Park when she was exposed. The ads were still in town just before the outbreak.
She gave him the option to back out if he wanted it. She couldn't force anyone to volunteer and she wished Randy Marsh wasn't making her do this. Jimbo Kern even tried and failed to talk Randy out of this trial by combat business on his family's behalf. "Are you sure you want to do this Peter?"
"I'm sure. I'll be your champion." When she knew he wouldn't change his mind PC Principal left to train for the big fight while she and her husband took a much needed afternoon nap.