A/N sorry about the long wait for this chapter, but hopefully it will be worth it!
Despite how much I love Stargate, I've always felt they could have done more to focus on the wellbeing and effects the adventures have on the team members. Hopefully, I've managed to capture some of this.
Happy readings!
It had been a couple of weeks since the incident with Kolya, and although Carson had cleared John for duty, Elizabeth had been hesitant to throw him straight back into the field. And Alice agreed. Despite his constant assurance he was fit both mentally and physically, Alice didn't mind having a slow couple of weeks.
The rest of the team stayed active, helping other teams with supply and recon missions, whilst John stayed on Atlantis. For all intents and purposes, he did seem fine. He acted exactly the same as he had before he'd been taken, cracking jokes and annoying Rodney whenever he got the chance. He'd been assessed by Doctor Heightmeyer when they'd returned and although she said there may be lingering trauma he didn't seem 'unstable' or in her opinion 'incapable of performing his regular duties' and it would probably best for him to return to his normal routine as soon as possible - minus the field work. Alice wasn't quite sure though, once you'd been through a few psychological assessments you knew how to give them the answers they wanted and needed to clear you for active duty. Elizabeth must've thought the same, as she asked everyone to keep an eye on him, make sure he was as okay as he said. Alice hadn't needed any prompting though, she knew John probably better than anyone else in the city. So, she'd been keeping a subtle eye on him, trying to see any cracks or breaks in his character. Anything that would tell her he was struggling.
However, the only thing she'd noticed so far was he was still having nightmares, but everyone had nightmares here. If anything, it would be more worrying if he wasn't having them. But she still couldn't shake the feeling he was teetering on the edge of a breakdown. She knew she would be, but the last thing she'd want was everyone treating her with kid gloves, so she tried to act like everything was back to normal.
In the grand scheme of things, the down time wasn't so bad. It allowed her to catch up on her research reports that Rodney had been hounding her about. But between keeping her eye on John and Rodney hounding her every second of the day, Alice felt more exhausted than she'd felt in months.
Tonight Rodney was on particularly bad form. Alice looked up at her watch and saw it read 01:30 she groaned out load. "That's it Rodney!" She blurted out. Rodney who had been standing in the middle of the lab giving them yet another tongue lashing about being too slow or incompetent. She couldn't even find the will to listen anymore. "I can barely think straight, it's not our fault that your equations don't work. And screaming at us and telling us how much smarter you are isn't going to change that fact." She took in a deep breath, Rodney was staring at her incredulously, his mouth hanging slightly a gasp. "Feel free to stay here and continue to beat yourself and everyone else up, but I'm going to bed so that I can actually regain some control of my thought processes." She slammed her laptop shut and dropped off her chair onto the ground. The other scientists in the room were staring between Rodney and her in a stunned silence.
Then someone clapped, she wasn't sure but she had a feeling it was Radek. Rodney rolled his eyes. "Alright. Alright fine. We'll pick this up in the morning." He turned around so his back was facing them. The one good thing about Rodney, even if you did bruise his ego it didn't take long for it to bounce back.
The room burst into life as all around her as people rushed to grab their things and run out of the room before he could change his mind. Alice started to follow them, clapping Rodney on the shoulder as she left. "You should sleep too." She murmured, noticing the dark circles drooping from his eyes. He mumbled back some retort, but Alice was already out the door. Right before she was about to turn down the hall that would lead her back to her room, her eyes lingered on the opposite one - the one that would take her to John's room. She knew by now even John would be asleep, Alice bit down on her bottom lip, debating whether she should just go back to her room. But she didn't feel like slipping into a cold bed, so she turned away from her room and headed for his.
She reached the door and entered her override code, silently slipping into the room. It was dark and quiet, she blinked a couple of times, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, then she tiptoed closer to John's bed. She could just make out the outline of John's sleeping body, he was laid on his side, facing away from her. Pulling her boots off, she placed her pants and jacket on the table beside the bed. Knowing that John hadn't been sleeping that well, she did her best not to disturb him as she slipping in beside him.
His body was warm against hers, sending a shiver up her spine. Closing her eyes and drinking in his smell, she wrapped her arm over John's waist drawing her fingers up his chest. His muscles rippled under her fingers as her cold finger tips brushed against his skin, she paused as they reached the healing scars left behind by the Wraith attack.
Before she even registered what was happening, John's body stiffened and vanished underneath her fingers. In the time it took for her to open her eyes, one of John's hand was on her throat and she was staring down the barrel of a gun. She tried to gasp but the pressure on her throat was too much, his hand had her airway almost completely closed off.
Her hands flew up to John's hand, trying to dig underneath his fingers to ease the pressure. But he was much stronger than her, and he'd caught her completely off guard. She choked as she tried to call out his name, her eyes bulging as she tried to find John's face in the darkness. But all she could focus on was the unmistakable glint of the gun hovering inches away from her face. Dark spots were starting to appear at the edge of her vision as her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Her fingers scratched and pried at John's, her legs struggled under his weight, but she couldn't get out of his grasp.
She tried to take in another breath, her throat gurgling, it wouldn't be long before she lost consciousness.
Then as suddenly as it happened, his hand disappeared and air flooded her airway. John's weight disappeared and Alice's hands flew up to clutch at her throat. Every breath she drew in was painful, causing her to cough and splutter, so she barely heard John. "R-Riles...?!" She heard the sound of the gun clinking against his side table.
Pulling herself up she brought her knees to her chest and dropped her head between them. Her breathing steadily becoming more regular. "What the hell!" was all she managed to croak out in between breaths.
"I don't...I thought." Alice knew what he was going to say. He thought she was the Wraith. "Did I hurt you?" His voice was raw and thick.
Alice slid her feet over the edge of the bed and stood up. Her fingers tenderly touching her neck, she could already tell this was going to leave a bruise. "I knew you weren't okay." She said, trying to ignore the pain when she spoke. "Since when do you sleep with a gun?" Every word caused a sharp stab of pain. John looked down at his hands, he didn't need to say, the answer was obvious.
"Riles..."
She turned away from him, gathering her jacket and slipping on her pants and boots. She headed for the door, but paused before stepping out. "No. You might be able to pretend you're okay with everyone else, but not with me." She rasped.
She stormed back to her room, but she knew there was no way she'd be able to sleep now. Throwing her clothes on the floor she walked over to take a quick shower. The warm water helped her muscles relax and made it easier for her to breath. Bracing herself against the wall of the shower she stood allowing the water to hit her back. She ran the moment with John over and over again in her head. He wasn't okay, not by a long shot. But she still had no idea what to do about it. If she went to Elizabeth or Heightmeyer they'd take him off active duty or worse send him back to Earth, and that was the last thing she wanted.
She stayed in the shower until the water started to turn cold. Grabbing her towel she stepped out of the shower, stopping as she passed by the mirror. Small blueish red marks were already starting to appear on her creamy tanned skin. Turning away, she walked into her room and quickly changed. She didn't have any tops that would cover her throat, so she settled for pulling the zip of her jacket all the way up to the base of her chin and leaving her hair out to cover her neck. Then she headed back out to the lab, she needed to busy her mind. She wasn't just angry at John, she was frustrated at herself. She'd known he wasn't okay, but hadn't been able muster the courage to talk to him about it.
The lab was deserted when Alice arrived, the lights reacting to her presence and slowly glowing to a dim brightness. Her mind was swimming with thoughts, guilt and worry. Should she really have left him alone after that… Biting down on her lip she tried to push all those thoughts to the back of her mind. She needed to focus on a tangible problem she could solve, despite having a larger team then they've ever had before, the RD team still had a backlog of jobs a mile long. Opening up her laptop Alice decided to work her way through as many as she could.
A cup being placed down in front of her jolted her awake. Alice blinked a few times and scanned her surroundings, she was still in the lab, but daylight was now streaming in through the windows. She hadn't even realised she'd fallen asleep. A dull ache spread over her body as she lifted her head, most likely from being hunched in such an unnatural position. She winced and looked up to see John standing next to her. "I thought you might need this." His eyes were focused on the coffee on table. She could see faint circles under his eyes and another coffee in his other hand, it looked like he hadn't been able to sleep either.
Alice stifled a yawn, she swallowed about to thank him when her throat clenched painfully. Her hand immediately clutched at it, it was slightly warm to the touch and felt swollen. She'd almost forgotten why she was sleeping in the lab in the first place. John's expression darkened. She reached out to take the cup, hoping her jacket and hair covered the worst of the bruising. "Thanks." She croaked. The smell of the coffee drifted up as she inhaled, warming her insides and relaxing her muscles.
He pulled back, and peered around the room. "I didn't come here just to give you that." He turned towards the other side of the lab, where Radek and Rodney were both heads down. It was the first time she'd noticed they were there. "Sorry to interrupt, kids." Alice slid off her chair and followed behind him, smoothing down her uniform as she walked. "But you need to pack your toothbrush, head back to Earth." He directed his gaze to Rodney.
Rodney's head slowly looked up. "I do? Why?"
John nodded, his lips pressed together. "Carter needs help."
Rodney smiled smugly. "With what?"
"Your sister."
Rodney's face fell as he looks at John in shock. Alice did a double take between the two. She'd completely forgotten Rodney had a sister. Rodney started grabbing his gear immediately. "Okay, we still need to run the simulations..."
"Yes. We know Rodney." Alice chided. "We've got it covered. You just focus on your sister." She put a lot of effort into making her voice sound normal, but it still came out slightly hoarse. Luckily Rodney was too preoccupied to notice.
Rodney nodded. "Okay." Then he scooted off towards the living quarters.
John watched him leave then turned back around to Radek and her. "So what do you know?"
Alice sighed, sipping her coffee and enjoying the feel of the warm liquid against her throat. "Not much. I think their estranged, I mean he never talks about her." The liquid made it easier for her to talk, her voice almost sounding normal.
John nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm. Fair enough." He put his hands on his hips. "Well since McKay is away our next mission is being post-poned. Gives you more time to focus on..." he gestured with his hand to the equations and equipment around them.
She narrowed her eyes. "Actually I was wondering if you'd be able to stick around a bit longer. I wanted to talk to you about-"
John's jaw clenched. "I've got to report into Elizabeth, y'know mission reports and security briefings..." he'd already started backing away to the door.
Alice's lips pulled together tightly, as his back disappeared from view. He was going to avoid the conversation as much as she wanted to. She rubbed the side of her face. "Back to work then."
————-
"John!" Alice tried not to wince as she yelled down the hall. John had just been talking to another marine, when Alice turned the corner. His body tensed as he heard her call out, she could tell he was trying to decide whether he could pretend he didn't hear her. She caught up to him as his shoulders sagged, obviously deciding there wasn't much he could do.
He reluctantly turned away from the marine towards her. "Hey Riles." He ran a hand along his neck.
Alice bit down on her lip, she knew he was purposefully keeping the marine within earshot so she couldn't talk openly. "I've been looking for you." She crossed her arms over her chest. Today she wore a black turtleneck top underneath her jacket, something she'd borrowed from one of the other scientists. Only the smallest tinge of a bruise could be seen over the collar. Luckily, the bruising had been light and some of it had already started to fade, though if anyone were to look closely there was still a faint impression of John's fingers.
His eyes darted around avoiding her own. "I was running training ops all night and I'm running late for a debriefing."
Alice pursed her lips, she was sure he was avoiding her, but there wasn't much she could say against that. The marine coughed awkwardly behind John. "Right, well drop by the lab when you have a moment. And i thought you'd be interested to know we got a transmission last night that Rodney's on his way back, with his sister."
John raised his eyebrows. "Really… that'll be interesting." The marine coughed again, this time it was a deliberate signal. John's eyes shifted to the side. "I've got to go."
Before she could even say goodbye he'd spun around and left down the hall with the marine. Alice let out a sigh, she needed to get him alone. Disappointed, she continued back to the lab.
It had been three days since she'd seen John in the hall. Every time she ran into him he seemed to be running from one meeting or briefing to another. She'd never seen him this busy. And he'd made up some excuse about running midnight training ops for the next few days with the marines in preparation for the new recruits that would be coming in on the Daedalus. All together she couldn't have spent more than five minutes with him since their last conversation in the hallway. It made her increasingly uncomfortable and made the knot in her stomach tighter. She tapped her fingers against the desk absent mindedly, thinking of ways to pin John down.
Radek mumbled something in Czech, making Alice glance up above her laptop. "Everything okay?" She asked hesitantly.
"Hmm" He looked up from his tablet, seemingly shocked to see her there. "Oh. Alice, I didn't know you were still here."
Alice looked over both her shoulders. "Where else would I be?"
Radek furrowed his brow in confusion. "Good point." Then he looked down at his tablet again.
"So what's going on?" She pressed.
"Oh, Rodney and his sister have sent over some designs they need to make to the containment chamber." He muttered.
"Really, is this something to do with the gate-bridge?" She stood up and walked over beside him, looking down at the diagrams on his screen.
"No, something else." Radek seemed fully absorbed in the designs.
"Well, why don't you take a team down to do this and I'll keep working on the gate bridge." She offered.
"Really?" His eyes brightened. "Are you sure?"
Alice nodded, squinting down at the diagrams. "Yeah, these equations are a bit above me. I don't know how much help I'd be."
Radek smiled. "Alright then." He stood up and walked over to another group of scientists, giving them orders to come with him.
Alice watched for a second, stretching her arms out. "Right, back to work." She muttered to herself, returning back to her simulations absently rubbing her throat, trying to ease the slight throb she felt.
By the time she left the lab the halls were deserted, she hardly met anyone as she headed back to her quarters. Her footsteps echoed around her, she rubbed her eyes and opened the door. To her surprise John was sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for her. He stood up as she walked in, his head bowed towards the floor. "I know I shouldn't be avoiding you, I just didn't know what to say."
Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes you do."
He sighed raising his head up slightly to look at her. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
Alice bit down on her lip and stepped over towards him, reaching out she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "I know. But I can't just pretend that everything's fine." She moved her head back to look directly into his eyes. "You were tortured. They almost killed you. You can't just go on like it never happened. You're not fine John, and don't you dare try to tell me I'm wrong." His arms drew up and pulled her closer, his head dropping to bury itself against her neck. "You don't have to pretend around me." Her lips whispered against his ear.
He pressed closer, and allowed silence to engulf them for a few moments. "Okay." He said finally. His response surprised her, she'd thought he'd put up more resistance. "I never want to hurt you again." His fingers pushed her hair back, so he would be able to see the bruises on her neck.
She grabbed his hand, pulling it away. "Thank you." and she gently pressed her lips against his.
He held her close to him for a while. Then as he pulled away the mask seemed to fade. Suddenly, she noticed how tired and worn out he looked. A new look had replaced the usual gleam in his eyes, a dull haunted look. "I didn't think I was going to make it out of there." His voice was low, barely audible even though Alice was pressed against him. "At one point I wasn't sure if I wanted to."
Alice didn't know how to reply, it felt as though she was outside of her body. Despite the fact she knew exactly what point he was talking about though, remembering that even she had questioned at one point whether they were better off letting him die than rescuing him. But to hear the thought said out load seemed completely surreal. Did she say the same thought had crossed her mind? The silence seemed deafening in her ears as she wracked her brain on how to respond. So she decided to say the one thing she knew was 100% true. "We...I would have never given up on you." She gave him a small smile. "I made a promise remember."
A small glint of happiness shone in his eyes, as a smile tugged on the corners of his mouth. "I know."
"Maybe you should talk to Heightmeyer?" She offered gently.
"Maybe." He replied quickly.
They stayed still for a while, just holding each other. She hadn't felt this useless since she had been stood watching John through the video screen. Half the time she barely knew how to handle her own emotions. So she stayed quiet, her head placed against his chest. Not knowing whether she was helping or not.
In the silence a stray thought crossed her mind, one of those random ones that seemed to pop into being out of thin air, but burrowed them deep into your mind. That he deserved better than her. Someone who knew how to support him. Someone that knew how to love him. "Promise me no more guns in bed?" She said, wanting to break the silence.
A light rumble of laughter vibrated in his chest. He pulled his arms back, Alice lifted her head in confusion, but dropped her eyebrows as she saw hime flexing his biceps. "Are you sure about that?"
————-
Alice ran through the halls, Rodney and his sister were about to beam down. She skidded to a halt just before the steps up to the gate platform. John, Elizabeth and Radek were already standing waiting. All three of them turned to see her entrance. Alice glanced between them, and saw John shake his head slightly and groan. His face looked lighter, less defeated. Stepping up the stairs she took her place next to Radek, pressing her lips together to stop her from smiling. "Sorry." Before anyone could say anything else, a bright white beam made Alice squint then Rodney was standing there with a woman who looked exceptionally similar.
"Holy cow! That can't be good for you." Jeannie gasped.
"Nothing to worry about. I've done it dozens of times." John smiled warmly, stepping forward to offer out his hand to her. "John Sheppard."
"Yeah. She's married, and she's my sister." Rodney scoffed, narrowing his eyes at John.
"I'm just saying hi." John replied innocently.
"Yeah. No, I know exactly what you're doing. I've seen that look before ... Kirk." Rodney muttered.
John frowned at him. Alice stepped forward grinning. "Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you I'm Alice Riley, I handle these two." She jerked her head to John and Rodney.
Jeannie returned her smile, shaking her hand. "Seems like you've got your hands full."
"Hey-" Rodney whinged.
But he was cut off as Elizabeth smiled at Jeannie and reached out to shake her hand. "Hello, Mrs Miller. I'm Doctor Elizabeth Weir. Welcome to Atlantis."
"Thank you. Mer's told me so much about you."
"All good, I ..." John started, then paused. "Did you just call him "Mer"?"
"It's a pet name." Rodney said quickly. Both John and Alice exchanged a glance. "Where are we?" Rodney said to Radek, trying to deflect attention away from him.
"Simulations are all in the green. We're ready to try a power-up." Radek reported.
"Really? So soon? That's amazing. Excellent work, Radek." Jeannie smiled warmly.
"Thank you!" Radek said surprised.
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, we try not to encourage him. He's got a bit of an ego."
Then he gestured for them to head down the hall. Elizabeth followed after them but John and Alice stayed put. John tilted back and forth on his feet. "Mer?" He whispered.
"You think there is something in his personnel file?" She whispered back. They both turned to look at each other, and in a heartbeat they both took off running towards John's office. She laughed as they ran, feeling the stress and weight of the last few days evaporating. She wasn't sure if John would go through with her suggestion and talk to Heightmeyer, but simply opening up to her seemed to have improved his mood greatly.
—————
Alice stood in front of Lloyd, they'd decided to do a early morning sparring session. Despite not being military anymore, there was no way she was going to let herself be outclassed by her former comrades. And now her throat had completely healed, and only the tiniest amount of bruising was still evident, she had to prove her skills hadn't decayed.
Alice moved first catching Lloyd off balance and smacking him hard down onto the floor. "Ah ha!" She yelled victoriously, over Lloyd's groaning body. "And you thought I'd gotten weak." She held out her hand to help him up.
Lloyd grabbed her, and pulled hard, throwing her over his head and down on the mat beside him. "I didn't say you were weak. I said you were out of practice." He laughed.
Alice groaned. "Cheap shot Lloyd." She rolled over and pushed herself up onto her knees.
"Sorry to say but I can't always let you win." Lloyd jumped up and wiped his forehead.
"Let me?" Alice scoffed. "Please."
"Lieutenant." Lloyd immediately went rigid.
"Colonel." He said politely, other than standing up straighter he didn't salute or move to stand at attention.
"The Major needs you, your team is moving out on a support mission." He jerked his head towards the door.
"Yes sir." Lloyd grabbed his bag from The edge of the mat. "Sorry Aly, we'll continue this later." And then he was gone.
"Well that's just great. Who am I supposed to spar with now?" Alice stood up and grabbed her water bottle.
"Sorry Riles. You'll just have to find someone else." John shrugged.
Alice smirked mischievously. "Well then since you're here." she dropped her bottle and stepped back on the mat with her hands on her hips.
John chuckled. "I don't think so."
"Why? You afraid I'll beat you." She stuck her tongue out. "Come on, when was the last time we sparred."
John dropped his head, then he started taking his jacket off. Alice smiled watching as he shed his knife and thigh holster. He took off his shoes and stepped up onto the mat. "Okay, but no holding back." He winked at her.
Alice let out a breathy laugh. "There's no way I'm gonna let you win." She raised her fists and bent her knees preparing herself waiting for John to make the first move. They'd spent a lot of time together and Alice had seen his fighting technique a lot over the past couple of years, so she felt like she knew what to expect. "Ready when you are, Sheppard." She mocked sticking her tongue out.
"Watch it Riley. Don't get cocky." He smirked and raised his own fists.
As she expected John struck out first. Trying to connect his palm to her ribs, she jumped backwards then whilst John was off balance she grabbed his wrist, spinning around so her back was against his chest and placed her palm on his shoulder. Then heaving with all her might she threw him down on the ground. "You were saying." She laughed bending over him.
"Lucky shot." Before she saw what he was doing John kicked out his leg hitting her in the back of the knees. Her legs buckled and she crashed back onto the mat and within a second John was on top of her pinning her shoulders and straddling her hips to keep her body down.
Alice huffed. She reached over and grabbed his wrist with her opposite arm, then used her other palm to strike his elbow. As his arm buckled and his hips rose off her she scooted back enough to dig her knee into the side of his thigh. Using it as leverage to reverse their positions. "How about we make this more interesting?" She bent down to whisper in John ear.
"Oh yeah." John groaned, clearly winded by her last hit. "How so?"
"If I win, you have to take me off the midnight control watch for a month, and I get to fly the next mission." She smirked, it was a simple bet.
John heaved himself up, throwing her back so she landed on her back in between her legs. He swung his legs under his body balancing on his hands and was inside her guard instantly. "And if I win?" He asked, flashing her his signature grin.
Alice bit her bottom lip. "I'll do all your paperwork and your security briefings for a month." Her voice was husky and low, she craned her neck to place a kiss on the side of his lips. "And anything else you want." She saw a mischievous glint in his eye. Alice used his distraction to her advantage and threw him off her. She scooted back and scrambled onto her feet. "So we have a deal?"
John stood up and stretched out his chest and arms. "Oh you're on Riley."
—————
Alice laughed as she rubbed her arm absent-mindedly, she was still sore from her and John's sparring session. Neither of them had taken it easy on the other. Despite the fact she lost, she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. After their spar John had been eager to cash in on the extra part of their little bet.
Now, together with John, Alice was sat in the mess hall with Teyla, Ronon and Jeannie. Alice didn't think she could laugh any harder when low and behold Rodney approached their table. "What is this?"
"Hey, Meredith!" John tried to stop laughing, with little success.
Rodney's shoulders dropped. "Oh, wonderful!"
Jeannie covered her smile with her hand. "John here was kind enough to show me around, offer me a warm meal, and introduce me to some of your friends."
"What have you told them?" Rodney glared at his sister.
John straightened out his face. "We weren't talking about you."
"Oh, you weren't?" Rodney said slightly hopeful.
Alice pursed her lips to stop herself from laughing. "Course not."
"Uh, no. We were discussing many things." Teyla looked around the group.
John shrugged his smile returning. "Now, when the issue of bedwetting happened to come up, she may have mentioned something about your childhood."
"That is not true!" Rodney snapped.
Ronon waved his palm at Rodney. "Relax. We all have embarrassing childhood stories."
"Of course we do." John agreed.
"There was one time the school bullies made me eat lunch with my underwear on my head." Ronon said. "Oh, wait, that was you." All of them broke at the same time, cracking up with laughter.
Rodney shuffled uncomfortably. "Oh, hardy har-har. And this is revenge for what, exactly?"
Jeannie shook her head. "You don't even know, do you?"
"Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay to the Isolation Room immediately." Everyone glanced around as Elizabeth's voice came over the tannoy.
"Isolation Room?" Alice turned to John who just shrugged.
Rodney gestured to John and Jeannie. "Come on."
Alice stayed sat down, until John turned back to look at her. "Well…?" He jerked his head.
"Oh!" Alice stood up, stuffing the last piece of apple into her mouth. "Sorry." Though she wasn't sure why she was being dragged along. But as soon as she got there she was glad she had been. Alice and John stood side by side, their faces almost pushed up against the glass of the observation room. On the other side stood Rodney, but he wasn't their Rodney. Apparently this one had appeared within the containment field of the experiment Rodney and Jeannie had been running.
They'd decided there was no one better than to deal with Rodney than Rodney. Alice leaned forward, her hands clasped in front of her covering her mouth as she watched Rodney and Jeannie enter the room.
The alt-Rodney stood up. "Wow. Now, I figured you'd be here, but, uh, but Jeannie? I always hoped we'd work together in Atlantis."
Jeannie glanced between the two Rodney's. "Huh. This is a first."
"For me too." The Rodney's said at the same time. Alice glanced up at John. This was getting too weird.
Alt-Rodney gestured to a couple of chairs next to him. "Have a seat." He turns to our Rodney. "Now, I presume you go by ..."
"Rodney." Alice's Rodney replied.
Alt-Rodney smiled and pointed to himself. "Ah. Rod." He waited until Rodney and Jeannie had sat down before he started talking again. "OK, I'm gonna make some assumptions based on what I've seen here and from readings we've taken in my own space time. Please stop me if I'm wrong. One: I presume you're running some sort of experiment that's designed to bridge between parallel universes. And two: it has something to do with power generation. Warm? Cold?" He flicked his palm side to side.
"Uh, hot." Jeannie laughed.
Rod smiled tensely. "Well, I'm sure the experiment's been a success on this side, but it's having some rather serious repercussions in my universe."
Jeannie smacked Rodney's arm. "I told you."
"Not now!" Rodney snapped.
Jeannie turned back to Rod. "Dangerous exotic particles that don't belong in either of our universes are being created on your side of the bridge."
Rodney threw her a dark look. Rod leans forward to him. "Oh, so you knew this could happen?"
"Uh, there was a slight risk, yes." Rodney admitted.
"This is weird." John muttered beside her.
"Shush." Alice hushed, trying to catch every word.
"Well, you're quite correct, Jeannie, and because these particles don't behave according to any of the laws of physics in our space time, they're creating a tear in the fabric of our universe." Rod explained
"Huh!" She faced Rodney. "First a solar system, now a universe."
"Yes." Rodney huffed impatiently. "How exactly did you get here?"
Alice listened as he explained. "Ah. Well, we detected the anomaly about twenty hours ago in space above the planet. We manoeuvered one of our Jumpers in close and tried to broadcast a signal to whoever was on the other side." She turned to John to give him an impressed look, though John's eyes seemed to have glazed over sightly.
"Yes, but of course we would be unable to detect that signal from within the containment chamber."
Rod nodded. "So Sheppard and I came up with a plan to beam a person into the anomaly. They would be protected by an Ancient personal forcefield that we discovered."
"Still, it was an incredible risk." Jeannie leaned forward toward Rod.
Rod laughed. "Well, it was Sheppard's idea."
Alice glanced over to see John smiling smugly down at her. "Glad to know some things are the same across universes."
Alice just rolled her eyes. "Yeah you're both annoying smart asses, big surprise." But John still had a smug smile on his face.
"We decided it might allow one of us to cross the bridge you'd created and bring the problem to your attention. There was very little time, and, well, there seemed to be no other way. We drew straws." Rod put his arm across the back of the chair.
"You lost." Rodney said.
"I won!" Rod laughed "What, the prospect of saving an entire universe? No-brainer."
"Oh, sure." Rodney laughed unconvinced.
Alice laughed. "Can you imagine our Rodney volunteering for a one-way mission?"
John shook his head. "Not unless he had some ulterior motive."
"Maybe getting away from you was enough." She joked.
————
Alice stood outside Rod's door and knocked loudly. "Coming!" A voice inside yelled. Rolling back and forth on her heels, she popped her lips as she waited.
A few seconds later Rod appeared, smiling out at her. Though his smile dropped when he saw her. "Aly? Oh my god." He ran forward throwing his arms around her.
Alice laughed uncomfortably. "Uh hi Rod." Her arms were held limply out to the side. She wasn't sure if she should return the hug or what. Rod pulled back keeping his hands on her shoulders and looked her up and down. Alice gave him an awkward smile. "Is everything okay?"
Rod grinned. "Fine, it's just been a while" he rubbed her arm up and down. "It's just so good to see you."
"Yeah..." Alice tried to force a smile, unsure if she wanted to ask him what had happened. "Um... I just uh. I came by cause I thought you might want some company."
Rod released her. "I'd love to, but I'm meeting Sheppard for some golf."
"Ah!" Alice jerked her head to the side. "How about I walk you there?"
Rod offered out his arm to her. "That would be perfect."
Alice looped in her arm to his and together they headed towards the east pier. "So, what's John like in your universe?" The words were out of her mouth before she could think about them, since they'd first found out he was from an alternative reality she'd been dying to find out more. She'd read the SG-1 mission reports reciting the multiple occasions they'd encountered their alternate duplicates, with small but albeit significant differences.
"John?" Rod raised his eyebrows. Then he did another glance up and down her body. "You're not in the military here! How did I not notice." He said it as a statement not a question.
Alice smiled. "I was, but I recently became a civilian scientist on the expedition. And John and I are..." she let her voice trail off, no matter how long they'd been together Alice still found it difficult to call him her boyfriend. It just sounded too juvenile.
Rod grinned from ear to ear. "That's incredible. In my universe we always thought you two couldn't stand each other. You were always at each other's throats about one thing or another. And let me tell you he always loved to remind you how he outranked you, not that it stopped you from doing things your own way." He reminisced almost joyfully.
Alice frowned. "You talk like your me died or something."
He gave her a funny look, like he was bursting to tell her something. "Well you moved back to Earth a while ago." He pursed his lips pausing, letting his words hang in the air.
Alice swallowed. "Permanently!? Why would I - I mean she - do that?" She pressed impatiently.
Rod's lips twisted up into a big grin. "You left to go on maternity leave." Alice stopped mid-step. Her body frozen. Rod continued forward turning back when his arm caught on her stationary one. "Aly?"
"What did you just say?" She asked.
"Maternity leave. Sheppard knocked you up." He laughed.
Alice's head was swimming, she'd never considered children before, not that she necessarily didn't want them but she'd always thought she'd think about it when she was older. Now the reality seemed to be staring her in the face. "With John?!" The notion made panic rise in her chest. She wasn't ready for something like this, how could she be when she couldn't even call him her boyfriend. Alice shook her head, it was ridiculous, she was being ridiculous. Rod's Alice was completely different to her.
"Aly, you okay? you've gone pale."
Alice took in a shaky breath. "What? Oh…fine." She started walking again.
"You seemed as shocked as I was when we found out. Though not as surprised as Sheppard. You see our John isn't exactly the family type. You guys got into a big fight and you left to have the baby back on Earth. He loves you...well her. We think. It's still all a bit hard to tell. I think it all just took him by surprise. All of us really." Rod rambled, but Alice felt like she was only half listening her mind still stuck on the fact in one other universe her and John were having a baby.
"Yeah I'm sure." she mumbled, not exactly sure what she was replying to. "Well here we are…" She let go of Rod's arm, and gestured to the door up ahead.
"You don't want to join us?" Rod smiled warmly at her.
"Uh. Golf - y'know -" she stumbled over her words. "it's not really my game." In reality she just wasn't sure she could handle seeing John after hearing that. "I'll catch up with you for lunch." Then she spun on her heels and wandered off into the city. Her hand absent-mindedly went to her stomach. Pregnant… With John's baby.
"Riles…Riles? Hey"
Alice blinked as a finger clicked in front of her face, tearing her out of her thoughts. "Sorry what?" All around the table her friends were staring at her.
John pulled his hand back, his brow furrowing in concern. "You okay?"
"Sure, just spaced out i guess." She dragged her hand through her hair, pushing it behind her ears.
"You've been pretty distracted the last couple of days. Are you sure everything's alright?" John was eyeing her up.
"Yeah it's nothing." She dropped her face to the plate in front of her, hoping John wouldn't be able to read her expression. She took a quick bite of her food.
Everyone waited a moment, before Rod broke the tension. "So is your Rodney involved with the Athosians much?"
They'd been trying to trace back the small differences in Rod and Rodney's lives. Thankfully Jeannie'd had the most questions and they'd revolved around Rodney's childhood and time before the expedition. But now it seemed it was turning onto the expedition. Alice wasn't sure if she was comfortable everyone knowing about her and John on the other side - especially given her…condition. In truth, she had been distracted a lot, she had barely done any work the last two days causing her to fall behind in her reports and she almost fried the city's power couplings doing routine maintenance. She couldn't get what Rod had said out of her head.
Rationally, she knew these people were fundamentally different to her and the rest of the team. But she couldn't help but think about how some similarities had crossed universes. The fact that all of them had still ended up in Atlantis, the battle against the Wraith and the fact her and John were together. So they couldn't be all that different, which made her wonder how her counterpart in Rod's universe felt about her…condition. Was she happy? Excited? was it something she wanted… or did she dread it and was filled with as much fear as Alice - and she was only imagining the situation.
If she was being honest with herself, it was making her re-think her choices and her current situation with John. Right now, she was sure she didn't want a baby - far from it. But what about John. Her eyes drifted over to him, he was sitting beside her intently listening and laughing to something Rod had just said. After everything they'd been through recently, with John and Kolya the idea of babies and relationships just seemed absurd. Not too long ago she'd been worried about John's mental state, and now she was starting to question her own.
But no matter how she tried to rational it to herself, questions started bubbling in her head. Did he want children? What were his expectations of their relationship? They hadn't spoken about - at least not seriously. And he'd been married before, did he want to get married again?
"What the hell is this?" Rodney's high pitched broke through Alice's stupor.
"Hey, sleepyhead!" John joked, putting his arm around Alice's chair to lean back to look at Rodney.
"Yeah. Hi." he muttered grumpily.
"I had a breakfast date with Jeannie. I guess it kind of ballooned into a group affair. Look, sit down. We're tracing back our lives, trying to find the little differences between our pasts." Rod said, still chuckling.
"Rod is an honorary member of the Athosian Council." Teyla remarked.
"And is godfather to his niece and nephews." Jeannie added.
Rodney pulled a face. "Yes, well, how wonderful for him."
"Well, it's easier for me. Our Earth has a ZedP.M. too, so it makes the back and forth a lot simpler." Rod explained.
"Doctors McKay, please report to the containment chamber. Doctors McKay." Everyone looked up as Radek's voice sounded over the tannoy.
Both Rod and Rodney moved simultaneously. "Excuse me." Jeannie got up to and hurried to follow them out of the hall.
"I need to get back to the lab as well." Alice stood up picking up her tray, her food barely touched.
John glanced up at her. "Alright, but dinner tonight?"
Alice just nodded, saying a swift goodbye to the others and heading off. Her head still swimming with thoughts.
Right on time John knocked on her door. She grabbed her earpiece that she'd taken off to clear her mind and opened the door. John had his hands stuffed casually in his pockets. "You ready?"
Alice forced a small smile on her face. "Yeah, lets go."
Together they walked towards the mess, a small gap between them. "Y'know someone needs to make a routine run around of one of the Jumper's, apparently it needs a few extra miles on its tank. I was thinking we could...go for a ride?" He bit down on his lip and gazed over to her. Though her face must have shown her hesitance. "What's going on Riles?"
She drew in a breath, she'd been debating whether or not to bring up her fears with John. But it never seemed like the right time, and she also wasn't sure she was ready to hear his answers. "Nothing, I'm just tired. A Jumper ride sounds great, when do you wanna go?"
John narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying her excuse. But he didn't press. "Maybe tomorrow?"
"Sounds good, I'll bring the picnic?" She offered him a sweet smile, hoping to placate his concern a little. "How's it been going with Heightmeyer? Are you still having nightmares?" She asked even though she knew the answer was yes.
John nodded, his eyes drifting back to the hall infront of them. "Good. And yeah, but they're not as bad as before." He said reluctantly, it was still difficult for him to open up to her. Not that she could blame him. Bottling things up just seemed to be in both their natures.
"Good." She said, knowing that was the end of the discussion. "so...what do you think of Rod? And I mean really?"
John shrugged, though it was obvious he was happy the conversation had turned away from him. "It's a bit weird, he smiles too much. I don't think I've ever seen our Rodney that friendly."
Alice let out a breathy laugh. "I know what you mean. He's also so chatty, I feel like no one else can get a word in - but I guess they're not so different in that respect."
"No. Not at all."
"Rodney doesn't seem too happy to have him around."
John waved his hand through the air. "He's just worried Jeannie likes Rod more than him."
Alice's eyes went wide. "He told you that?"
John glanced over to her. "Yeah, though don't mention it to anyone else, okay?"
Alice nodded, it was rare for Rodney to really admit his true emotions, other than fear or arrogance. "Maybe you should tell her. I know you don't want to get involved, but it could really help." John's jaw tensed. He wasn't good with emotions either, his own or other people's.
He smiled softly. "I'll think about it. Now you grab a table and I'll get you some jello."
Alice nodded obediently, picking a table away from the main crowd on the balcony. The sun had set, but warm pink and orange colors still streaked across the sky. The air blew gently against her face, once again she debated telling John her fears, blurting out all the questions that had been bothering her for days. But she knew she couldn't. Voicing them out loud would change everything, just like opening Shrodingers' box. Right now they were in a rare state of bliss, and she didn't want to ruin it.
—————
She'd been disappointed not to say goodbye to Rod, but she was happy he'd been able to get back home to his people. Despite the fact they now had zero ZPMs left to power the city.
Elizabeth had decided to reactivate John to active duty, but since both Rodney and Alice were spending their entire days trying to covert any and every system they could over to naquadah generators, they weren't exactly barrelling off to invade a Wraith outpost.