Book Two, Part Nine: The Wedding

April 19, 2014

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mel asked anxiously as she pulled down her dress.

"Mel, really." Ma admonished. "Your brother is getting married today to a lovely woman. There is no sense in you making him nervous."

"Easy for you to say, you are not dressed like you are part of the cast of the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." She grumbled.

"The dresses are not that short." Amber argued.

"They are, when you are six months pregnant." Kathleen said. She did look like she swallowed a basketball. The fuchsia dress on her made her look like a dark pink pear.

"At least you are not in baby girl pink." Mel hissed. "Pink! I think she just did that to piss me off."

"Will you guys come on? Addison is wonderful. This is her day and she included the four of us in the wedding when she didn't have to. She is going to be part of our family in less than an hour." Nancy gushed.

She really loved Addison. I think she loved her more than she loved me.

"I still don't know why I am in a short pink dress. You can see my hoo ha from outer space if I bend over." Mel complained…again.

"Girls. Out! I want a few minutes alone with my son." Ma ordered.

They all complied, Mel still tugging on her damn dress.

Ma shook her head in exasperation and then smiled at me. She walked over and started fussing with my bowtie.

"You look very handsome." She said.

"Thanks Ma. You don't look so bad yourself."

Her smile faded just a bit.

"Your father would be so proud of you." She whispered.

I blinked back the sudden onslaught of tears.

"I hope so." I said.

"I know that things haven't been easy for you. What with you seeing your father's murder and having to leave Meredith…" I held up a hand to stop her, but she raised her hand in a plea for me to let her finish. "You loved her. I am guessing you still do."

I nodded.

"I thought so. I know that this decision to marry Addie, to let her in, wasn't an easy one, but I am proud that you are trying. That you are moving on." She said.

"Am I doing the right thing, Ma?" I asked. "What if I can't love her as much as I love Meredith? What if we end up resenting each other? What if…"

"What if one of you gets hit by a bus? Derek we never know what the future holds. You know that better than anyone. All you can do is love her the best you can. And I do think you love her as much as Meredith, but in a different way." She soothed.

I took a deep breath, letting it out as a discrete knock sounded on the door.

Amber peeked her head in.

"It's time, DerBear." She said softly.

I nodded.

"Let's go."

I met up with Weiss and Father John and walked to the front of the church. I was astounded at the number of people that were at this wedding. There had to be at least two hundred guests. I didn't know this many people. Must be Addison's parent's 'friends'.

The music started, and a little girl and boy walked down the aisle throwing pink rose petals on the pink carpet. There were pink drapes over the pews. Get the picture?

The church looked like it was hosed down in Pepto Bismol.

The bridesmaid entered; first Kathleen, then Mel, then Amber, Savvy, her Maid of Honor, and Nancy was her Matron of Honor. My groomsman were my brothers in law, Peter and Ethan, Archer, Addie's brother and Addie's cousin, Mike.

Then everyone stood, and my bride appeared. She looked breathtakingly lovely in a huge white wedding dress. Her hair was up with a veil over it. Her father escorted her down the aisle and suddenly there she was, taking my hand.

It was over in a whirl. We said our vows, exchanged our rings, kissed, taken hundreds of pictures, and now we were dancing our first dance as Dr. and Mrs. Derek Shepherd.

"Are you sure it is okay I am hyphenating my name?" Addison asked suddenly.

"Of course. It doesn't really matter to me."

She smiled happily.

"I am Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd."

"What a mouthful." I teased.

"Yeah, but a good one. We are going to be an unstoppable force Derek. We are going to be Mr. and Mrs. Fabulously Happy."

"Sounds wonderful."

And it did, I needed some happy in my life.

July 17, 2014

"I can't believe we are third years. We get to pick our specialties this year." Addie said, as we walked hand and hand into the hospital.

"You still going for Obstetrics and Gynecology?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes! But I am thinking of doing a side study in Genetics, since that goes along with those. What do you think?" She asked.

"I think you are amazing." I answered.

"What about you? I know you are torn between Cardio and General." She asked.

"I don't know yet. I still have time." I smiled at her. I kissed her as I reached my destination.

"Okay. I will meet up with you for lunch if possible." She said.

"Okay, bye." As I left her there, my phone rang. I cursed as I struggled to get that monstrosity out of my lab coat. Someone needed to make a smaller and thinner phone.

"Yeah." I answered.

"Is that anyway to answer the phone when your mother is calling?"

"Hey Ma. Sorry. I am at work. Is something wrong?"

"No, does something have to be wrong when I call my son?"

I sighed.

"No Ma." And then I waited.

"I wanted to see how married life was going for you."

"Same as it was going yesterday when you asked." I pointed out. My mother was worried I was going to realize I did the wrong thing and take off to Seattle.

"Just asking. I worry about you. So…have you two thought any more about giving me a grandbaby?" She asked.

I groaned.

"Ma, we just got married three months ago! You have Savanna. And Nancy is pregnant, and you will have a grandson soon enough. So why are you bothering me?"

"I am not bothering you, Derek Christopher Shepherd! I am mothering you."

"More like smothering me." I mumbled.

"I heard that!"

"Fuck!" I cursed.

"Derek!"

"Sorry! Look I am at work, I have to go. We can continue this conversation later, much later."

"Okay then. I love you." She said.

"I love you too, Ma."

I hung up and headed to rounds.

"Who's presenting?" Dr. Thomas Mitchell, the Head of Neurosurgery, asked. I looked to the patient who had bony growths protruding out of his skull and face.

I stood up straighter. "Jake Burton. Fifteen. Has advanced craniodiaphyseal dysplasia. Was admitted last night after complaining of headaches."

"He's not a complainer." Mrs. Burton informed us.

"He's been having some nausea as well." Mr. Burton added.

"Okay, may I?" Dr. Mitchell asks. The parents moved aside. "Jake, can I get you to sit up please?"

"Sure." Jake said easily.

"I want you to look right here for me." He holds up a finger in front of me, causing Jake to look at me. I feel a little uncomfortable and I shift my gaze away from him.

"You know you could pretend I'm a lion. It helps." Jake told me.

I blinked. "Sorry?"

"You could pretend I'm a lion and then instead of a really messed up kid you get a talking circus animal which is way easier to look at."

I chuckled.

"Dr. Shepherd, what's our immediate concern?" Dr. Mitchell asked.

"Ah that the bony tumors are growing inward and encroaching on his brain." I replied.

"Very good Dr. Shepherd." He turned to Jake's parents. "We are just going to go in and see if we can remove some of the more dangerous ones."

"Okay." Mrs. Burton said.

"Dr. Shepherd, you can assist with Jake's surgery today." He handed me the chart.

"Thank you sir." I replied, winking at Jake before getting ready to draw blood from him.

"Are you going all vampire on me?" Jake asked.

"Shhh. You will blow my cover." I teased.

"Oh don't want to do that." He said.

"Will Jake be all right, Dr. Shepherd?" His mom asked anxiously.

"Dr. Mitchell is one of the best, but I can't answer that." I answered her honestly.

She nodded in understanding.

Two hours later, after fending off an overeager 'hotshot' plastics moron, we were waiting for him to be put under.

"Thanks, you know, for earlier. I don't particularly think I am nice to look at, but in my parent's eyes, I am perfect. If something happens today and I don't make it, I want them to know that even though I could've, I wouldn't change a thing about myself, cause it's who I am."

"None of that talk. You are going to be fine." I said.

"I have had four of these surgeries. I know the drill. If I do go, I have made peace with it." He said.

I moved aside as they put him to sleep and we got to work.

I was holding the suction tube when I heard the beeping. I looked at the monitor wildly and started doing compressions.

Fifteen minutes later, I called it.

"Time of death, 16:42."

I wrenched off my mask and stormed out.

I was leaning, bracing myself on the sink when Dr. Mitchell walked in.

"You did good work today." He said.

I looked at him questioningly.

"How was that good work? He died!"

"Everybody dies someday. It is a fact of life. It is what you do while you are alive and what we do as surgeons to help you live longer, that matters."

"He was fifteen fucking years old! He was a kid!" I ranted.

"He was and that sucks, but we did all we could do. I am going to inform the parents right now, but I would like you to consider Neuro. You did really good today and I enjoyed working with you. You are intelligent, responsible and have an amazing bedside manner."

I stared at him in shock.

He slapped me on the back. "Think about it."

I stared at the door he vacated longer than was necessary before looking into the quiet OR where Jake lay still. I entered it quietly. I don't know why, nothing to disturb really but it was so peaceful in here. He looked peaceful.

That's when I knew…

"Neuro? That wasn't even one of your choices." Addie said.

I sat down on the bed next to her, taking my shoes off.

"I know, but this case today. It…just did something to me. I can't explain it." I looked at her. She crawled over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sorry you had a tough day. Why don't you get some sleep and maybe you will feel better tomorrow?" She suggested.

I smiled gratefully at her and laid down, resting my head on my soft pillow. She laid down and rested her head on my chest. I brought my hand up to play in her hair.

And for some reason, for the first time in a long time, I wished her hair was blonde.

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