Time for another quick update from me. This is a bit of a fun one-shot that takes place ten years after the war ended so Republic City is a thing here and the Gaang is basically doing a press conference that gets a little out of hand since it's basically crack so enjoy.
Shipping Wars
Ten years after the War had ended, a lot had changed in the lives of Team Avatar. For the most part, they had all settled down to enjoy the first amount of peace that they'd had in their entire lives. Aang and Katara's romance had only blossomed and they had gotten married two years ago while Suki and Zuko had also recently gotten married. As for Sokka and Toph, Sokka enjoyed living the bachelor life while Toph was adamant that she would never settle down. The groups friendship had stayed strong so far, and despite the nagging speculation from everyone out there about the status of their relationships, all was well.
So on the tenth anniversary of the end of the war, Team Avatar was having their first official press conference together in Republic City. There had been a lot of developmental changes in the world recently which made it easier for people to access information, especially with the addition of the printing press. Now almost every nation had some form of news outlets, and there was no doubt that the transcript of the highly anticipated press conference with Team Avatar would be hitting shelves everywhere across the world.
"Here for their first official press conference together, Avatar Aang, Lady Katara, Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Lady Suki, Councilman Sokka and Chief Toph Beifong."
"They could've just called us Team Avatar," Sokka grumbled.
"You know, that never really caught on," Katara commented.
"It was only ten years ago, on this very day and in this very city that these heroes put an end to Fire Lord Ozai's tyranny and began a new era of peace in the world. Republic City is the product of the new era, and I'm sure that you all have many questions for its founders and their associates. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to get a grasp on how they have managed to change the world and just how much has changed in their lives over the last ten years," the announcer declared.
There had certainly been a big turnout for the event, with more than one hundred people sitting in the crowd, eager to speak with the famous Team Avatar.
"We'll start off with a Q&A where everyone will get the chance to ask them a few questions about whatever they feel comfortable answering," the announcer said, with almost everyone in the crowd stepping forward in an effort to be noticed.
"Hi everyone, it's so wonderful to see you all here for us," Suki smiled. "Now, we'll only have time for a couple of questions so we'll start off with the small man in the front."
"Yes, thank you," the man said. "Republic City was only formed over a year ago, and I was wondering what plans do you have to expand the city?"
Zuko cleared his throat before he spoke, "Well, as of now Republic City stands on its own, but we do have plans to expand the city into a bustling metropolis. The city certainly won't stay on its own forever and we hope to make it into something as big as the other nations."
"I have a question!" a woman called out.
"You can ask it," Zuko said.
"With the invention of the printing press, we have more access to news from around the world and it also provides us with a new way of sharing it. There have been a lot of things said about the state of the world recently, and I was wondering if you could shed some light on the feud between Jang Hui and Hing Wa Island?" the woman asked.
"Well, as far as we're aware there is no feud between those locations, so I do not know where you got that information from," Katara replied.
"It's all over the Republic City Post!" someone piped up. "But nobody really cares about that nonsense. What I want to know is what are your thoughts on the shipping wars?"
Sokka spoke before anyone else could, "If you ask me, that's a lot of nonsense. I'm sure that all of the towns and islands like Jang Hui and Hing Wa Island could come to a sound agreement on how to handle their trading wars. Hing Wa should just stop being stingy and give Jang Hui the appropriate amount of ash bananas."
The crowd immediately went silent for a few moments, with Sokka glancing around in confusion before the crowd burst into laughter. It took them a few moments to get everyone to be quite again, though Sokka was just confused.
"What? All I did was answer the question? I mean, I know that I'm hilarious but that wasn't even supposed to be funny!" Sokka exclaimed.
"Um, Sokka, I don't think that was the kind of shipping wars that they were referring to," Katara said.
Sokka blinked in confusion, "Well, what other shipping wars are there?"
"Yeah, what were you referring to?" Aang asked.
"Oh my spirits, you guys don't know?" the person asked, only for the members of Team Avatar to shake their heads simultaneously.
"Don't you guys know what shipping is?" a man wondered.
"Well, I would assume that by shipping you mean postage, but considering the looks on everyone's faces, I don't think that's it," Sokka said.
"Shipping is the act of taking an interest in a romantic relationship between fictional characters or actual people," a girl explained.
"And how does that relate to us?" Toph grunted.
"Well, when I asked my question I meant what are your thoughts on the shipping wars about you guys," the person who asked the initial question clarified.
"Whoa, wait. There are shipping wars about us?" Katara asked.
"Oh yeah, there's shipping wars about everything!" a girl chimed in. "You know, the most common shipping war is between the Kataangers and the Zutarians."
"We have no idea what that is," Suki deadpanned.
"Wow, for a group of people who are so involved with the state of the world, you guys sure have been living under a rock if you don't know what Kataang and Zutara is," someone remarked.
"Wait, wait! I think I got it!" Sokka exclaimed. "Kataang is Katara and Aang's names mushed together while Zutara is Katara and Zuko's names mushed together."
"So, what you're saying is that people actually ship Katara and I together?" Zuko clarified.
"Of course we do!" a girl yelled. "Why wouldn't we? You guys would be so hot together!"
"Well, I'm married to Suki and Katara is married to Aang so that's a pretty good reason not to ship us," Zuko stated.
"The shippers ship what the shippers want to ship," the girl argued.
"Why would you even want to ship Zuko and I?" Katara questioned.
"Well, for starters you guys would be the most visually appealing couple that the world has ever seen! Your kids would be gorgeous together, whereas any kids that you have with Mr Avatar will most likely turn out awkward and unappealing," a Zutara shipper explained. They also happened to be holding a poster of Katara and Zuko together which didn't go unnoticed by the two on the panel.
"Clearly you don't know anything about Zuko since he is the epitome of awkwardness," Katara remarked. "And where did you get that photo of Zuko and I from? There is no way that it exists!"
"It's called fanart," someone replied.
"What's fanart?" Sokka asked.
"It's art made by fans," a Kataang shipper replied with sarcasm. "And fanart doesn't have to be real! But making fake fanart for a ship that never stood a chance is just sad and pathetic, not to mention, disrespectful to Kataang."
"Of course you would say that! But you wouldn't be saying that if Zutara had been endgame. You'd be making all of your sad and pathetic fanart without a care in the world," a Zutara shipper argued.
"Well, isn't this just fun. A bunch of losers arguing about who Sugar Queen should've ended up with when I could think of far more better things to argue about," Toph jeered.
"You're just jealous that you don't have your own ship," Sokka remarked.
"Actually, she does have her own ship," said someone who was holding their own poster with Sokka and Toph on it. "There's a ship for anything these days, and I mean anything. Toph's most popular ship is Tokka, but there are a few Taangers lingering around, though they would only ship Aang and Toph together if they ship Zutara."
Aang nearly choked in his seat, "People actually ship me with Toph?"
"What's wrong with me, Twinkle Toes?" Toph glared at him.
"I didn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. It's just that there would be so much wrong with us together as a couple, no offence," Aang reasoned.
"Hey, that argument is completely invalid," a Taang shipper argued. "Aang and Toph are great friends and would compliment each other very nicely if they were in a romantic relationship. And for your information, I certainly don't ship that mess Zutara. Now, if you want to talk about a Water Tribe and Fire Nation ship, Zukka is where it's at."
"Twinkle Toes would be eaten alive by me in a relationship, so there's no way in Omashu that we would ever work out," Toph scoffed.
"Oh, yeah, Zukka is the best gay ship ever!" a Zukka shipper proclaimed. "For a while, I was kinda on the fence about them since Jetko was pretty hot, but since Jet died I claimed Zukka and that is the best decision that I ever made."
"Wait, you people actually ship me and Zuko together?" Sokka squawked. "What have we done that could possibly make people want to ship us?"
"You're both awkward messes to start with," Toph commented.
"Yeah! And you're both hot warriors," another Zukka shipper added.
"Why ship Jetko and Zukka when you can ship the trifecta that is Jetzuka?" someone called out.
"No way, the best ship ever invented is Sokka and his boomerang. Talk about a tragic love story. I mean, boomerang sacrificed itself to save Sokka. If that isn't true love then I don't know what is!" another person yelled.
"Which is exactly why Zutara is the superior ship compared to that boring Kataang," a Zutarian said.
"Oh yeah, and why is that?" a Kataanger challenged.
The Zutarian grinned, "Well, if you ask me, there is no greater trope than enemies to friends to lovers which fits Zutara perfectly. If they were able to put aside their differences to be friends, then surely they could put their similarities together to enter a relationship. Not to mention, Zuko literally risked his life to save Katara. When has Aang ever done anything like that for Katara?"
"Um, countless times. Did you forget that Aang risked unlocking the Avatar State so that he could save Katara when she was captured in Ba Sing Se? And if you ask me, friends to lovers is the better troupe because there is already trust in that relationship whereas with enemies to friends to lovers will always have the drama and the problems from when they were enemies. And can I ask you what differences do Katara and Zuko have? If you ask me, Aang and Katara are more opposites than they are but their opposites compliment each other nicely," the Kataanger argued.
"You guys talk as if you actually know us," Katara remarked. "Though I do have to begrudgingly admit that you do have a point about Zuko and I being more alike than Aang and I. We're both hotheaded, passionate and reckless people. The only thing that really makes us opposites is our bending disciplines. But then Aang and I compliment each other wonderfully. We use our opposites to make our similarities work which is a healthy balance in a relationship."
"Our queen has spoken!" the Kataangers chorused.
"Katara doesn't know what she's saying!" a Zutarian argued. "The Avatar probably put some of his mindbending abilities to use and has tricked Katara into loving him!"
"I would never do that!" Aang proclaimed. "And mindbending isn't even a thing!"
"Can we just forget about Zutara versus Kataang and focus on the minor ship war that is Tokka and Sukka?" someone called out.
"That could be a three-way battle with Zuki as well!" another person added.
"Well, it's nice to not be ignored," Suki remarked.
"How could you be enjoying this mess, Suki?" Katara asked.
Suki sighed, "Well, I'm always pushed to the side when people refer to you guys. So it's nice to have people talking about me, even if it is over something as stupid as a ship war."
"Okay, okay, I get shipping me with Suki and her with Zuko since we're actually couples. But why would people wanna see Toph and I get together?" Sokka wondered.
"Because you guys are another classic friends to lovers trope!" a Tokka shipper yelled. "One of these days, you guys are gonna hook up and have a secret love child and not tell anyone, leaving everyone to speculate the identity of the child's father with no confirmation. And you guys might not have been together yet, but Toph totally had a crush on you so that counts as grounds for shipping!"
Sokka's eyes widened as he faced Toph, "You had a crush on me? Why didn't you say so?"
"Because she probably didn't wanna Tokka 'bout it!" someone joked.
Sokka burst into laughter, "Oh man, that was hilarious. I gotta remember that one. Tokka 'bout it. Clever word play."
"Can we talk about how easily it is to ship Sokka with anyone?" someone commented. "I mean, he is so shippable that you could picture him with everyone! From Zuko, to Jet, to Suki and Toph. Even Azula! Not to mention, you could even ship him with Katara if they weren't brother and sister."
"Same with Azula and Zuko!" someone else chimed in. "They would be so hot together, and I don't just mean because of their elements. Plus, remember that time Zuko went to see her after he came home? You can't tell me that they didn't fuck after that confrontation."
"Because we didn't!" Zuko yelled.
"Now I see what they meant when people can ship anything," Katara remarked.
"I don't know what's worse, being shipped with Jet or Azula," Sokka shuddered.
"What about being shipped with Sugar Queen?" Toph suggested.
Sokka grimaced, "Yeah, that would be worse."
"I can't believe how disgusting some of you are with your ships," a Zutarian scoffed.
"Says you," a Kataanger snarled. "How could you possibly ship Katara with someone who chased her around the world and tried to kill her multiple times? Not to mention, he attacked her village and literally betrayed her for his evil sister! Aang never did that. Yeah, he screwed up sometimes but he made up for his mistakes in the end. Have you forgotten how Katara was literally prepared to abandon her entire village for him, but Aang didn't want her to do that?"
"How could you possibly ship Katara with a child?" another Zutarian argued. "You can talk about friends to lovers all you want, but the fact that Katara basically mothered Aang throughout their entire journey together is kinda weird."
"Okay, I won't be the first to say that Katara is the mothering type," the Kataanger agreed.
"Hey!" Katara protested.
"Oh, you know that you're a motherer," Toph said.
"But, Katara mothered everyone, not just Aang. And you can't tell me that her mothering was different with Aang. She mothered him because she cared about him. You didn't see her ever mothering Zuko because, oh right, she spent practically their entire journey together hating him while she loved Aang so suck on that!," the Kataanger proclaimed as the other Kataangers erupted in a fit of applause.
"Okay, can we please get this press conference back on track?" Aang said, only to be ignored.
"I bet that there wouldn't be this much drama about shipping wars if there weren't so many hetero ships around," a Zukka shipper grimaced.
"Not everything can be gay to satisfy your gay needs," a Kataanger remarked. "I mean, you can't deny that some of your gay ships would be severely problematic which could lead to a hundred year war!"
"What gay ship has resulted in a hundred year war?" the Zukka shipper asked.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku?" the Kataanger replied. "You can't tell me that there wasn't more than friendship between those two. If you ask me, the reason why Sozin became so anti-gay was because he got rejected by Roku and he didn't know how to handle rejection. Why else would he have had a child so late in life?"
"You know, I never really thought about it that way, but that is a very reasonable theory," Aang commented.
"Now we're really getting off-topic if we're gonna talk about a hundred year old ship," a Zutarian remarked. "We'll get back to the press conference if the Kataangers admit that their ship is inferior and a fraud."
"Well, then you better order some toilets and fire flakes because we're gonna be here forever with that ultimatum," a Kataanger proclaimed.
"I just wish that we could all get along like we used to before the shipping wars. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles so we could all eat it and be happy," a non-shipper declared, only to be met with silence.
"She's not even from our world!" someone called out.
"Are you even from this world?" Sokka asked.
"I just have a lot of feelings…" the non-shipper replied.
"Could someone just get her out of here?" Katara wondered.
"Could you Zutarians just admit that you are wrong to ship the most unhealthiest ship of all ships!" a Kataanger yelled.
"What's so wrong about Zutara? Can't we just make ourselves miserable by obsessing over a ship that wasn't made cannon in peace?" a Zutarian yelled.
"I could give you a million reasons why Katara and Zuko should not be together. But, I'll give you my biggest one first. What is so healthy about a ship where one of them tried to kill the other and that same person also betrayed the other person in said ship and later encouraged the same person to commit murder?" a Kataanger argued.
"Oh my Spirits, don't even get me started on that!" another Kataanger agreed. "What right did Zuko have to encourage Katara to murder the man who killed her mother? You wanna know something else. Even Zuko admitted that he didn't know what Katara needed and that Aang did. Aang and Sokka knew what was best for Katara while Zuko could not even begin to understand that which is why Kataang is the superior ship."
"Okay, clearly they're just gonna keep on going here," Katara commented.
"I'm beginning to think that this press conference was a waste of time," Aang added.
"It wasn't a complete waste of time. Honeysuckle got some validation, and we got to watch a bunch of weirdos fight over who we should've ended up with. I say that we got enough from this," Toph stated.
"Should we… stop them?" Zuko asked as the fan war started to become more violent.
"Nah, we should leave them to fight it out amongst themselves," Sokka said.
"Let's just get out of here," Suki stated, with everyone agreeing as they followed her out, just as several chairs were thrown at their table.
"Lucky we missed that," Katara said.
Although they were all happy and satisfied with their current relationships, there was no denying the awkwardness that had formed amongst the group as a result of the fan war that they had just experienced. Of course Sokka was the one to diffuse the tension with a poorly timed joke.
"Hey, why doesn't Toph ever mention her parents?" Sokka wondered.
"Because it's none of our business?" Katara suggested.
"Cause she doesn't wanna Tokka 'bout it!" Sokka joked.
He was promptly elbowed in the rib.
And so here we end with a crack fic gone out of hand. This was just my attempt of poking fun at the ridiculous ship wars that exist not just within the Avatar fandom, but in every other fandom. Everything would just be so much more peaceful if people could learn to just coexist with their different ships, but that's probably never gonna happen. Anyways, Kataang is superior and Zutara wishes that it could be on the same level as them. Plus, Tokka should've been confirmed by Bryke with the theory that Sokka is Su Yin's baby daddy which I will continue to believe, even if they deny it. That's all for me now.