November 1867
I got permission to quit my provisional room and put my belongings in Chizuru's as long as I was discreet and that the men didn't see me. The commander said to me that there was no point in parting us before the wedding since we already had been together and he even said that I wouldn't have listened to him anyway. That wasn't true. If he had given me the direct order to stay in my room every night, i would have complied. He was my commander. I think what he truly wanted was someone to look after her even at night with all the recent events with demons and Rasetsu. She wasn't safe.
My life amongst the Shinsengumi was still difficult. My former unit was happy to have me back, even Tetsuya said he would resign to give me back my position, but they were the only ones. There were a lot of men thinking that I actually left the Shinsengumi to join Ito, then betrayed my new master when I sensed the wind change direction. Chizuru scolded me, saying that I shouldn't let them talk like that and that I should set them straight but I refused. I would rather stay silent than tarnish the commanders's honor. Especially after they granted my wish to marry her.
I was coming back from a late meeting and Chizuru was already in bed. The meetings were getting later now that we had two captains Rasetsu who needed to rest during the day. I opened the shoji silently, removing my sandals and I put the package i had in hand next to the entrance. I knew already that she wasn't sleeping since the light was on inside. She was in bed, reading a book and I got closer to have a look.
« What are you reading ? » i asked, curious.
« It's a thesis about prolonging the life of patients suffering from tuberculosis. » she answered, showing me the book.
I frowned, unable to read the signs on the book. That wasn't japanese.
« It's in portuguese. » she explained, noticing my concern « my dad taught me how to read it when I was a kid and a lot of books are in this language when it comes to western medecine. I learned a bit of french too at Osaka but not enough to read in it... »
« You are full of surprises... » i muttered.
I had no idea that Chizuru could speak and read portuguese. Looking at the book, it seemed so difficult. The letters were all the same everywhere. How could they give sense to that ? Kanji were so much easier. One idea, one kanji. Simple. She explained that it was a bit like our hiragana but i couldn't imagine reading something only in hiragana. It would be so messy...
She closed her book and reported her attention on me, smiling. I needed to talk to her but i didn't know where to start and she noticed it.
« What's wrong ? » she asked, concerned.
« Nothing. » i answered, sitting in senza next to her and she sat up as well « I need to talk to you. »
« Is it about the meeting ? » she asked.
« It is. » i nodded « I have been given a mission. Sakamoto has been assassinated. »
« Sakamoto-san ?! » she repeated, shocked « but why ? »
« We believe that the Mimawarigumi did it but the remaining on the Guardians spread rumours in town that Miura Kyutaro of Kishu has hired the Shinsengumi and that Harada put the sword in him. They made false evidence and said they found Harada's scabbard on the crime scene. »
« But... That doesn't make any sense ! Harada uses a spear ! » she frowned.
« He still wears a wakizashi like us all. Guardian of the honor, remember ? » i corrected « but you are right, he didn't do it. »
« So... What is your mission ? » she asked with apprehension.
I brushed my fingers on her cheek and brought the package near the futon.
« I have been assigned to protect Miura undercover day and night. He stays at Tenma-ya... »
« So you are already going to leave when you just came back ?! » she cut me, heartbroken. « When ? How long this time ?! »
« I believe you misunderstood. » i corrected « We are going together. »
« I don't follow... » she confessed.
« You are coming with me. It's a direct order. »
« Don't get me wrong... I'm happy to go with you but... Did Hijikata-san agree to this ? Why ? »
« There are a few reasons. First, my reputation is quite tainted right now and Kondou-san fears that some of the men could want to settle things with me in a bloody way. Not that I would be in danger whatsoever but we cannot afford to have our ranks lowered with dead or injured men. Second, Hijikata-san wants to get you away for a while. He still doesn't know how to cope with the Code of Conduct, your reputation and his. And our marriage, obviously. Third, I promised you once that I would never leave you again. And you should know now that I am always true to my words. »
She jumped out of bed and wrapped her arms around my neck. Caught off guard, i had a small hesitation before closing mines on her.
« Thank you, Saito ! » she said in my neck, getting my ponytail out of the way with her nose.
« Chizuru, it's an undercover mission. You won't be allowed to call me Saito. » i felt my ears become red and I sighed before speaking again « And... Since we are going to be married soon, I guess it would be acceptable for you to call me by my forename... If you are willing to... »
I couldn't believe I finally asked it. I wanted it for so long but I kept patient since she never spoke to me about it and with our secret relationship, i was afraid she could just slip my forename in front of witnesses. She got her head out of my neck and rested her hands on my shoulders, plunging her gorgeous chestnut eyes in mines.
« Then... Hajime ? » she said shyly.
Warmth invade my chest when my name got out of her lips for the first time. I felt like it was a commitment even more powerful than marriage. My name belonged there. I was hers. I held her tighter, bringing her on my lap, legs parted by my body and kissed her deeply. I noticed she wasn't wearing any underwear under her sleeping nagajuban and put all my volition into ignoring this fact to finish our conversation.
« This is for you. » i said, picking up the package on the floor.
« What is it ? » she asked.
A pony.
I stayed still and waited for her to open it. It was a kimono and a obi, more suitable for winter than her yukata and I wasn't sure she had any women clothing for the cold. It was very simple with a small plum patern on the bottom and the sleeves. The rest was solid salmon and the obi was a darker shade of orange with dots on it to match the plums. Of course, Harada had been the one helping me choose. The only thing he asked in return was to pick out both my attire and Chizuru's for our wedding party. I accepted gladly since I knew he would choose something appropriate. I wouldn't know how to do it myself anyway.
« It's beautiful, Saito... » she whispered in admiration before realizing her mistake « I mean Hajime. »
It was true that even if it was simple, I didn't choose a low quality one and I was glad she had the eye for it.
« Can I try it on ? » she asked me.
« You will wear it starting tomorrow but if you want to, be my guest. » i answered.
She looked at it and brushed her fingers on the fabric before putting it to the side.
« I think it can wait until tomorrow. Thank you, Saito. » she said with a smirk.
« It's Hajime. » i whispered, getting closer to her lips.
She kissed me again and pulled on my neck to lower me atop her on the futon. I agreed. It could indeed wait until tomorrow. And I had all night to make sure she remembers my name.