Continuing self-insert into Winter 2019's most polarizing anime.
Waiting for Season 2...
Finger Count: 5/10
Eye Count: 2/2
Sanity Meter: 5%
Death Counter: 1
Let's try not to die.
Epic 23: The Rampage Part 3
The massive fanged beast lets out an admittedly ear-shattering roar.
"WE KNOW, ASSHOLE!" I roared back amidst my second power trip. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO LOUD ABOUT IT!"
Before any of us could do anything, Gaelion and Yaelia bumrush Barney in a heartbeat.
"... Before we join in on this little tussle, permission to do something constructive?" I asked my party members as the three technically-[Dragons] went at it like crazed mongrels.
"Eh, give us time to heal the two." Fubuki replied as she and Garou laid down Seiryu and Suzaku on the ground as I recalled my [Scribes] back into Grimm's pages.
Without a word, I [Analyze] the T-Rex.
... If they could stand still for just a second, I would-
Name: [Berserk Tyrannosaurus Diabolus Rex]
Class: [Boss Encounter]
Level: 70
Affinity: [Dark]
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Item Drops: [Draconic Fang x40] (70%), [Emperor Core x1] (25%), [Crown of Damnation x1] (10%)
Attack: 120
Defense: 115
Agility: 97
Luck: 60
HP: 1340
MP: 90
Got it.
"So, anyone got any ideas?"
Grimm was reverted back to his feral state, Fubuki was taking forever to heal the two siblings-by-oath, Garou was lookout, and the [Dragons] were still at it at each other.
"... Fuck it." I muttered out. "Thank god I'm good at improv."
I point [Grimoire Heart] at the three-[Dragon] mosh pit, and fire out [Freeze Blade].
Barney turns its ugly mug towards me.
"HEY JAGOFF!" I called out with all my might. "... Actually, I don't have a good follow-up for that."
"THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT!?" Everyone else cried out in unison.
"Who care, I got what I wanted."
And as the laws of causality and karma dictates, I proceed to bolt as the Jurassic Park-reject comes running after me.
... With me bolting towards him, springing my legs towards Barney's own, latch on, and allowing me to exploit its one, sole weakness.
The thing about T-Rexes?
Their legs, while powerful and the sole reason why running away from an angry T-Rex was the prime definition of tactical suicide, it was anything but flexible.
So by latching onto its massive legs, not only it can't reach me with its jaws, but with Gaelion and Yaelia distracting it combined with its [Berserk] affix setting him up on an "attack, attack, attack" mentality...
... I get to play Monster Hunter 4 with it.
"YEE-HAW, BARNEY!"
Grimm's chains coil around the dinosaur's jaw hinge as I mounted onto its back.
Now for the hard part.
"Who-WHOA!" I yelled out. "I DON'T THINK MY SPINE IS SUPPOSED TO TORQUE THAT WAY!"
I did my fair share of mounting unruly beasts, but Barney here takes the proverbial cake.
Especially when it immediately bucks me off of its back, with the only thing keeping me flying into its jawline being be wrapped around the dinosaur's neck by Grimm's chains.
"Thanks man."
... I should probably dismount, now that the there are two, massive [Dragon Emperor] and [Wyrmlich Empress] charging towards my direction.
"GRIMM! DISENGAGE!"
The chains come loose, and I bail as the three [Dragons] clash once more.
I hit the ground, and bolt back towards where the rest of my party was at.
"... So much for that." I groaned out in disappointment. "Now we're back to where we started."
"Um, Nan?"
I look back and see Seiryu and Suzaku healed, and the twins both giving me confused looks.
"What was your plan to begin with?" Garou aptly pointed out.
"Alright, the truth was, I was planning to steer the damn lizard out of this castle and lure it out towards a more, open area and bombard it with a shitload of [Ice] magic, and worst-case scenario, I could exploit Barney's [Emperor] status and lure out another [Emperor]/[Empress] to let it fight for me, but an even-worse-case-scenerio occurs afterwards, we bolt with my [Teleport]."
The twins give me flat looks of slight disapproval, while Seiryu and Suzaku had smoke coming out of their ears.
"... That's easily the most convoluted plan that I've ever heard from you, big bro. And even then, your plans in general are a little hard to follow at times." Garou pointed out.
"Really, it's even a miracle that your previous plan of raiding this castle worked like a charm in the first place." Fubuki added.
"Eh, I try." I replied with a shrug. "I mean, I'm not what you call the sanest person to be around."
"We know." All four of them answered in unison.
I look around our surroundings and notice something.
"... Guys, where's Genbu-"
"WOO-HOO! RIDIN' ON THE CRAZY TRAAAAAAAIN!"
Two things.
First, I smell aged wine coming from somewhere.
Second, Genbu himself was riding on top of Barney's crown while he himself was completely shitfaced.
"... Okay, time for Plan B." I announced. "First, I need all four of you to fucking run for it-"
I look back and see them gone.
"... That saved me roughly five seconds of explaining that I'm currently wasting."
With that, engaging Plan B.
"GAELION! YAELIA!" I called out. "FOLLOW ME!"
I hook over the castle roof as the two [Dragons] lure Barney towards me.
Good. It noticed me.
"Alright, time to stress test." I told myself as Barney down there looks up towards me on the castle roof. "[Dritte Freeze Bolt]!"
As it roared out, opening its mouth, I shoot the magic directly into its throat, freezing its windpipe.
It chokes on the contents I gave it, right before its movements become noticeably more sluggish.
"Thought so." I grinned. "[Dragon] or [Dragon Emperor], doesn't change the fact that you're cold-blooded."
It then begins to slam its whole body against the manor in futility, trying to take me down like some sort of treed cat.
Now while would gloat, I have other things to deal with.
Mainly, phase 3.
"Alright, to the gates!" I ordered. "Outside, now!"
I jump from rooftop to rooftop, evading the dinosaur quickly as possible, and bolt towards the gates in front of me.
I make a mad dash across the bridge as soon as Barney lets out a roar right before I hear its footsteps.
"AW SHIT! AW SHIT! AW SHIT!" I cursed as I ran faster as Barney came after me.
The bridge itself was comically small, only wide enough to accommodate about, like what, one to two carriages?
The T-Rex was roughly the size of four, and due to its disproportionally-sized legs and general lack of human grace...
... Let's just say that the bridge itself also closing in on me too.
"Oh this is gonna be close one..." I muttered to myself as I kept running. "... FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK-"
In a moment of desperation, I make a leap of faith, eyes closed.
Why?
At that point, I was in a mutual check with Barney, so a desperate gamble outta be the deciding move.
"NAN!"
Something swoops me up from the ground.
I open my eyes, and find Gaelion ([Wyvern Emperor] form), and Wyndia, lifting me up to the dragon's back.
"Thanks..." I sighed out in relief. "Almost died back there."
"Umm, Nan?" The dog-girl spoke out. "Don't wanna be 'that guy', but isn't there a giant lizard that's running across a collapsing bridge and towards our friends?"
I look down, and see Genbu get thrown off of the dinosaur's head, with Byakko jumping up and catching him right out of the sky.
"... Aw crap."
I hastily aim my index finger towards the bridge.
"Alright, time for phase 3." I announced.
My mana reserves connect with the magic circles that I had planted beneath the bridge.
"... AND ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!"
The entire bridge explodes into flames, causing it to collapse into the waters below.
Barney then takes a plunge with the rest of the bridge, while me and my folk head back to mainland in safety.
"So..." I spoke out as I got off of the dragon's back. "... Is everyone here?"
"All present." I heard Byakko.
"Casualties?" I asked.
"Only three on our side." One of my infantry spoke out. "Bastards got em where they didn't see comin'..."
"We'll bury em later." I stated. "Right now, we need to kill that sonofabitch down there before it reaches mainland."
"Um, how!?" Seiryu pointed out. "It's not like falling did anything to it!"
And fair enough, the reptilian bastard was still spry as a spring lily even after hitting the rocks below, as evidenced by its roar and its attempts to climb back up mainland.
"True." I stated in a dismissive tone. "Which is why we have phase 4."
I [Summon] my personal [Legion], the [Librarians].
"Any one of you schmucks know ice magic?" I asked the group of [Elder Mind Flayers], [Liches], and [Gnolls].
Everyone but the [Gnolls] raise their hand.
"... What about the [Gnolls], then?" I asked. "What are they good at?"
"WE GOOD AT HYPING!" One of the [Gnolls] barked out. "MAKE MAGIC BOOM GO EVEN MORE BOOM!"
"... So buffing magic, then." I replied. "How exactly?"
The head [Gnoll] smirks.
"GET HYPED!" The head [Gnoll] barked out. "SIMMON GONNA LEAD THE HYPE PARTY!"
He shoots up both of his hands, both of them forming the devil-finger pose while he and his pack are emitting an aura of pure power.
"HYPE! HYPE! HYPE! HYPER HYPER HYPER!" The [Gnolls] chanted while forming themselves into a mosh pit, heads bangs, hopping up and down, yipping and howling like now tomorrow. "[HYPER HYPE!]"
The aura of light surrounding them explode outwards, coating me with even more mana, and refining my own that's internally generated in me.
"MAGIC NOW BOOM HARDER!" Simmon barked out. "MAGIC IS ALSO HYPED UP TO RAVE ALL NIGHT!"
No further words need to be said.
"ALRIGHT YOU BASTARDS!" I roared out. "ICE THE UGLY MOTHERFUCKER!"
The [Elder Mind Flayers], [Liches], and myself all joined our mana together, forming a massive bolt of freezing energy that was deathly cold to touch.
This much negative energy could essentially freeze the entire lake below us, but that's besides the point.
Because Barney's gonna go through a premature ice age-extinction first.
"RIP EM A NEW ONE, BOYS!" I ordered.
"Umm... My body's female." A [Lich Thaumaturge] spoke out.
"OH, GROW A PAIR!" A [Lich Necromancer] barked out. "WE'RE ALL BONES HERE!"
"And we're technically genderless." An [Elder Mind Flayer] pointed out.
"WILL YOU GUYS FOCUS!?" I roared out in exasperation.
Thankfully, the magic was done.
"Now for the fun part..." I grinned sadistically as I aimed the ice bolt towards Barney. "FIRE!"
We all joined hands to fire the ultimate culmination of ice magic.
"[LEGION FREEZE BOLT]!"
The missile of pure, unadulterated ice magic shoots towards Barney.
Upon direct hit, the T-Rex was smothered in a massive explosion of teeth-biting cold, engulfing the entire basin in a cloud of pure white, powdery snow.
The snowy haze slowly fades from the air, and there was Barney, encased inside of an iceberg.
"... Well now." I spoke out. "I'd say that's a job well done, buuuuuuut..."
I shoot another ice magic towards the iceberg.
"IT AIN'T DEAD YET!" I roared out. "KEEP FIRING ICE MAGIC AT IT! I WANT THE LIFE IN ITS EYES COMPLETELY EXTINGUISHED!"
We just settle for pelting it with even more ice magic, with Fubuki, and even Yaelia joining in on the fun.
"[DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREATH]! [DRITTE LICH'S BREAT-"
TWO HOURS LATER
"UGH... bleh."
I collapse on the ground listless, in front of me, the recently-relocated South Pole.
"... Grimm, you alive?" I called out. "Matter of fact, everyone alive?"
"Napping." Fubuki groaned out from somewhere.
"Mom's back to her [Lichling] form." Wyndia stated. "... I think she's gonna be like this for a while."
"We killed a former [Emperor], so no complaints here." A [Lich Thaumaturge] spoke out. "... Except for the fact that we almost depleted our own mana reserves."
"I GOT WOOD!" I heard Simmons. "AND I JUST CAME!"
"Spectacular." I dryly muttered out. "Grimm?"
I look around in desperation, with worry growing each second passed of me not hearing his chains-
I hear snoring.
"... Ya nearly scared me half to death there, bro." I sighed out in relief, seeing the [Forbidden Tome] snoring without a care in the world.
With that said, I look back at the handiwork we've made.
A literal frozen wasteland, with the now-near-dead Barney as its sole resident.
A job well done, I must say.
"Alright." I stated as I slowly got back up. "After healing, resting, and getting our heads back together, let's go down and loot out what's left of the damn lizard. Any objections?"
"No objections here." Byakko stated as he began healing me while handing me [Intermediate Mana Potions].
And so while sun slowly rose up from the sky, me and my party were winding down, getting patched, burying our dead, and small note, the certain group of my infantry looked like the main cast of Symphogear?
... May or may not be important, but significance tends to vary at the most unexpected times.
After fully recovering, I take a few volunteers (Suzaku, Rio, & Rino) with me down to the frozen wastes to retrieve the loot.
And with that, came ice climbing.
Way harder then it looks. I would've used Aabidah's [Gale Aura] or just had Gaelion take us down there, but those two were sleeping.
I'm no slave driver, dammit. They earned their rest, so we'll do it my way.
We reach the bottom, with the temperature around us plummeting.
I cast [Hell Aura] to combat the cold, covering us in a reddish-black aura contrast to the white-blue ice surrounding us.
"... C-C-C-Come on." I chattered out. "S-S-Sooner we get the loot, the better."
After a few minutes of traversing throughout my self-made hell, I find Barney.
I look at its eyes, and yep.
Dead as a doornail.
"Okay, we found the damn thing." Suzaku pointed out. "How the hell are we supposed to dig it out-"
With the sun's rays shining onto the ice around us, we cover our eyes from the gleam.
... I hear something collapsing.
We look in front of us, and see a pile of broken ice and a bone crown with a jewel at its center.
"... Less work for us." Rio pointed out. "Anything else in the rubble?"
"I'll help." Rino stated as she pitched in.
I pick up the [Crown of Damnation] as the other two find a few loose [Dragon Fangs] in the ice pile.
Once we finish collecting what's left of Barney, we climb back out of the freezing hellhole and back to mainland, where I find fresh corpses laden about the ground.
"What the hell happened here?" I asked.
"Few of the jackholes patrolling outside tried to get the jump on us." Garou stated. "Also, potential eyewitnesses. Might've snitched on us while we weren't looking."
Aw crap, forgot that Rabier kept outer patrols to boot.
"Well, at least they'll be able to pick up their checks in wherever they end up..." I muttered to myself. "Come on. Let's get out of here."
With the frozen wastes behind us, me and my party ride out of Rabier's territory and towards somewhere... more friendly, shall we put.
"Whereto next, Nan?" Fubuki asked.
"... Somewhere nice, a place not worth setting ablaze." I answered as I took out a block of wood and unfolded my [Bandit's Silver Thumb].
As the carriage carried onwards towards its next destination, I took the blade to the block and began carving out a projection of my thoughts.
Said thought in question?
[The Next Choice].
Switching POV: L'Arc Berg
*Rumble*
*THUD*
"ARGH!"
L'Arc hits his shoulder against course-surfaced wood.
He slowly opens his eyes, only for them to be greeted by burning daylight.
"Ugh..." The [Scythe Saint] groans out. "... Morning already-WAIT A MINUTE!"
In panic, he looks around, and sees that he was in a moving carriage.
"WHERE'S NAN!?" L'Arc barked out. "WHERE THE HELL IS HE-"
"He's in another carriage."
He looks towards the driver's seat, and finds the wolf-boy, Garou, at the reins.
"Big bro said to watch you guys, and told me to pass on a message." Garou stated. "He said 'You can leave if you wish, for you and your friends have every right to do so after everything I've done. But next time we meet, I assure you, you and friends will most likely die. You have until the next daybreak to make your choice'. Dunno what means, but if you and your folks wanna jump ship, go ahead, I guess?"
"... So he knows what he's done was wrong." L'Arc pointed out. "But why? Why does he keep doing it?"
Garou lets out a scoff.
"That's the question you ask?" Garou pointed out in a slightly-amused tone. "You. Mr. I'm-Going-to-Destroy-This-World-to-Save-Mine, is asking a question about moral repetition?"
"... Wha-How did you-"
"I'm a wolf, dumbass." Garou pointed at his ears on top of his head. "I have better hearing then most. I heard it through the door when you first came to big bro."
"So you know that-"
"I thought my initial statement made it obvious." Garou cut L'Arc off. "But as for you and your folk destroying this world, go right ahead."
"... Wait, what?" L'Arc spoke out in confusion.
"Yeah, I'm perfectly okay with this whole damn world going up into flames." Garou admitted. "Hell, there's nothing for me and my sis here except more of the same shit that we've been doing since big bro came along."
"... You mean killing people?" L'Arc asked.
"Big bro taught us early on that in this world, it's kill or be killed." Garou stated. "So tell me, L'Arc, is your world like ours? Because if not, I think I know where I want to live out my days at."
"... Can't say, really." L'Arc replied. "Never really thought of that. All I did was fight the threats against my friends back home. I thought that was enough as a [Hero]."
"Tch. You [Heroes] and your so-called 'duties'..." Garou spat out in disgust. "Honestly, the mere thought of mere mortals with bigger sticks being worshipped like gods just makes me want to vomit. At least big bro doesn't consider himself a [Hero] to begin with..."
"What are you getting at?" L'Arc asked the disgusted wolf-boy.
"What I'm getting at is, is that you [Heroes] don't stop and question your place in the world, not even once." Garou answered. "As long your loved ones are safe, as long your home's roof is still intact, as long as the people sucking your cock keep throwing themselves unto you, you never even asked a simple 'Why?' in the first place!?"
L'Arc was completely stunned by the wolf-boy's words.
"*Sigh* Look, all I'm saying is that in this world, the people we've met are the textbook definition of 'Principle Zealots"." Garou pointed out. "The King of this Kingdom wants the [Shield Hero] dead because its patron Kingdom, Siltvelt kidnapped his sister, whom, I'm pretty sure that he wanted to fuck himself and not us 'filthy animals', the queen herself, despite appearances, I heard that she packs a really mean vindictive streak, the elder princess is pretty much an addict to her own sadism, second and Crown Princess has a good heart, but her head, while technically smart, is constantly at the wrong place and time, [Spear Hero] just wants to fuck every bar whore he finds great tits and ass, [Sword Hero] just wants to be 'swole', at least according big bro, [Bow Hero] thinks he's god among men, [Shield Hero] is needlessly paranoid, although considering that the aforementioned people sans the queen kinda fucked him over, it's somewhat justifiable, his personal sword arm clings onto him just as adamantly as everyone else to their own principles, the fatass we just murdered happened to think that all demihumans are devil's children or whatnot, and hell, even I have to admit big bro is a zealot to his own insanity in his own right, but at least he's self aware of the damages that he causes, and he doesn't kill everyone he meets, just... mostly everyone he meets. But to be fair, they're all unrepentant assholes whom I'm also sure that they also come from a family of assholes and are not anomalies in their respective family trees."
"... I don't get it." L'Arc stated. "I've never been that much of a thinker."
"I was like that at first." Garou replied. "Everyone is."
The two go silent as Glass and Theresa wake up.
"... L'Arc?" Theresa asked out. "Is something wrong?"
The [Scythe Saint] lets out a sigh as he cradled his face in his left hand.
"... Nuthin' much." He replied. "Just thinking about life."
Switching POV: Genbu
It was a fun incursion for this little [Gremlin].
Got to drink fine wine, got to snack on some fresh grub, and even saved a few lives while slaughtering evildoers without restraint.
So the little creature was befuddled when he was greeted with a glum and dejected atmosphere after last night.
"Oi..." Genbu spoke out. "The bloody ell's going on with all of ya?"
"Nothing unusual, really." Byakko stated. "Just that everyone else is exhausted from the fighting, with a few of us taken a toll and had to be left behind under a tree."
"... So?" Genbu replied. "Why the fuss? We killed a genuinely despicable human being for his sins, and got to save the ones that suffered for it. I'd say enough reason to celebrate, let alone, not be so damn glum!"
"... Sometimes, I envy your ability to remain positive in such a foul moment." Byakko admitted.
"That's what happens when you lived like this for over a 1,000 years." Genbu replied as he uncorked his flask. "You kinda learn to roll with things when you're below three feet tall and your breath smells like aged pleather."
"Isn't the latter stem from your excessive drinking?" Byakko jabbed.
"Hey, don't hate the playa." Genbu replied before he took a swig.
Switching POV: Back to 1st-Person
"Finished..." I murmured as I put the finishing touches on the wooden mask.
Upon finishing my handiwork, I stash the mask elsewhere, with the intent to keep it a surprise.
"Boss, we're coming up ahead to a village." One of the footwomen informed me. "Your orders?"
"... Are there demihumans working the fields?" I asked.
"... Umm, there are, yes." She replied.
"Are they healthier then the most demihumans compared to the rest of Melromarc?" I asked another.
"Surprisingly, yes." She answered. "All of them seem fed for the most part. ... At least, compared to the kids we found at the basement back there... *shudder*. Forgive me, still slightly traumatized from the mere implications..."
"Speaking of which, how are they?" I asked.
"The [Dryad] put them to sleep after feeding them her nectar." She informed. "They're all sound asleep as we speak."
"Alright then, tell everyone else to be on ceasefire." I ordered. "The village ahead is friendly to my standards, so don't do anything that might give us a bad impression."
I then dismiss my [Librarians] and the two [Dragons].
"WHAT THE HELL, NAN!?" I heard Wyndia.
"SORRY!" I yelled back. "WE'RE REACHING A FRIENDLY VILLAGE, AND THE LAST WE NEED IS UNNEEDED PANIC!"
With that said, we move upwards towards the village.
As we break from the foliage, I look out towards the village and see a complete contrast of what I've been through for a good 5-6 months prior.
Tears began falling from my eyes, as I heard Grimm let out a yawn before floating up towards me.
"... Hm? What's wrong, kid?"
"... Did you seeing positivity like this after going through mire and sludge of pure rage and hatred makes the coldest of hearts melt like a snowflake on the surface of the sun?" I pointed out.
"Wow, didn't know you can get this sappy."
"Shut up and let me have it, bro." I wept out.
... I'm so glad that I got rid of Rabier beforehand.
Because if anything remotely negative happens upon this innocent hamlet?
... Then Hell hath no fury of a man with nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I nervously wave towards the demihuman inhabitants, but they're response was that of slight worry.
Justifiable. I kinda have an artificial cheek that kinda gives me half of Joker's grin.
... That, and we all kinda reek of blood.
"Anyway, let's just head to that big house over there." I ordered one of the foot soldiers (That resembled Tsubasa; remember, Symphogear). "I need to parley with the guy in there."
She then spreads the word to the rest of the caravan, and then we all beeline towards the big house of the hamlet.
"Welp, we're here." I stated as I got off. "Everyone else, stay back. I'll handle negotiations."
"I doubt that." I heard L'Arc.
"Aw shaddup and let me do my shit."
I ring the bell next to the gates, with the stewardess appearing out of the door and approaching me.
"Umm, can I help you, sir?"
"I'd like a word with the lord of this house, Count Van Reinchnott." I informed. "It's about a few things that I'd found from a neighboring noble's territory, and I need someone who can handle such manners of great... fragility, to put it mildly."
"I'll see to it, good sir."
The stewardess then heads back to the manor to inform the lord.
"Alright, here's the rollout." I stated. "Byakko, Genbu, Alpha, Beta, and Chi will accompany me into manor with the rescued kids. Everyone else, keep watch outside to make sure that this village doesn't go straight to hell while I'm not looking."
"What's with the change of tune, Nan?" L'Arc asked. "It's starting to creep me out."
"*sigh* Okay, the truth is, I have standards on whom I should kill." I explained. "It's just that people like Rabier are like, in what, the 99% majority of the residence of this godforsaken rock? I swear, that guy living in there is the 1% that I can stomach."
"Are you speaking from experience, or just out of your ass?" L'Arc replied with suspicion in his voice.
"Actually both." I replied. "I was a bit of a developed misanthrope before I became a [Hero], and getting my ass booted into here against my will not only made it worse, but the people I keep meeting mostly seem to exist to validate my concerns with my place in humanity."
"That itself is really concerning." Glass commented. "So you never wanted to be a [Hero] in the first place?"
"Would believe me that I was in therapy before all this shit happened?" I pointed out. "You do not take away a sick man's medicine unless you want someone like me, right now."
Glass lets out a sigh.
"... I won't judge you." Glass replied. "Being a [Hero] without consent is rather... stressful, even for me."
"Yeah, well unlike me, your world ain't out for your head every five seconds..." I pointed out.
"And who's fault is that?" Glass replied.
"... Me." I answered reluctantly. "Although to be fair, I adapted kinda well into this shitstorm despite everything."
"Personally, I'm just glad that you're not whining about it." Glass pointed out.
"Oh please, I've been whining about it." I retorted. "... It's only just that I don't do it as frequently as one might expect a whiner to do, but that's besides the point."
I spot the stewardess escorting the young lord towards my way.
"... From appearances, I'm assuming that you're the [Tome Fallen] that Melromarc has been talking about?" Van Reinchnott asked me.
"Don't worry, we ain't here to eat ya." I reassured. "I just want to talk to someone not vehemently racist."
The young lord lets out a sigh.
"... Let them in." Van Reinchnott told the stewardess.
The stewardess opens the gate, and me and the assigned party head into the manor.
The kids tag along, as planned.
And the rest of the pack stay on watch duty, as planned.
As we enter Van Reinchnott's residence, I take a moment to soak in the atmosphere.
Whereas Rabier's residence was that of opulence and ill-gotten gains, here, Reinchnott's home feels, noble, dignified, elegant, tasteful.
I think it has to do with use of cooler colors like blues and whites that makes this place feel calming, whereas Rabier's home had way too much velvet red and gold that pretty much seared my eyes.
... Velvet cake will never taste the same ever again.
But away with such negative thoughts, time for positive thoughts!
Because after all the shite we all went through last night, we deserve every second of this moment presented.
"So..." Van Reinchnott spoke as we walked down. "... I'd take it that you want me to take care of these children that you've... rescued from Rabier's clutches?"
"... Guilty as charged." I threw my hands up. "Although, the reason for it... it's a bit, more complicated then I initially anticipated."
"How so?" The lord asked.
I then hear stomach growling behind me.
"... Can we feed them first?" I asked the lord. "At this point, I don't my wife's nectar can satisfy them any longer. Also, she's taking five after overtime."
"Very well, we shall continue this conversation at the dining hall." Van Reinchnott stated.
We all head to the widely-spaced dining hall.
The kids take their seats as their meals are presented before them in short notice.
"Careful kids." I warned. "Eat slowly lest one of you chokes-"
An ocelot-boy chokes first.
"Goddamnit." I murmured. "Byakko, please."
The albino butler lifts the kid up and hugs tightly around his ribs, squeezing out the food that he was choking on.
Everyone else follows the ocelot-boy's example and eats at a slower pace.
"Do you wish to eat, Mr. [Tome Fallen]?" Reinchnott asked.
"... I'm craving for something light." I stated. "What you got?"
One Unplanned Meal Later...
"And that went down pretty well." I sighed out in satisfaction.
"Glad you enjoyed it, Mr. [Tome Fallen]." Reinchnott stated.
"Please, call me Nan." I sheepishly replied. "Mr. [Tome Fallen] is a mouthful."
"Oh, sorry." Reinchnott apologized.
The two of us sit next to each other to talk proper.
"... So I take that you're partially responsible for last night's uproar?" The lord stated.
"... Was it that loud?" I asked.
"The infernal sounds of roaring and explosions woke up the entire village." Reinchnott pointed out. "Safe to say, it's a miracle that some of us managed to get sleep in the first place."
"Glad to hear..." I looked to the side in annoyance.
My lack of sleep aside, I sip the tea offered.
"... Black tea?" I pointed out.
"Floral blend. Procured it myself." Reinchnott smiled. "Never took a mass-murderer like yourself as connoisseur of tea."
"When you're constantly stressed out as me, you're likely to drink your fair share to familiarize with it." I pointed out. "Nevertheless, we're here to talk about tea, you know."
I signal Byakko to lead the kids elsewhere.
"Now that it's just us..." I spoke out. "... I can now talk at my most earnest."
"Let's hear it then." The lord stated before sipping his tea.
I sit down before letting out a sigh.
"First and foremost, a confession." I stated. "I took in a few demihumans myself, and under normal circumstances, I would take the kids in myself, but... recent developments have caused me to reconsider it."
"How so?" Reinchnott asked.
I slam my head against the table before letting out an anguished yell muffled from the tablecloth.
"... I'm sorry for the poor conduct, but I been holding this in for roughly about a month and a half." I mumbled out. "And I think my recent outing did not do my sanity any favors in the slightest."
"Hmm." Van Reinchnott exclaimed. "For someone who's left behind a trail of bodies in his wake, you seem rather... pained."
"Don't get me wrong. I've actually enjoyed tearing those assholes a new one." I remarked. "But in my defense, those assholes deserved every moment of agony that me and my family has inflicted upon them. But last night, I... I kinda started to doubt myself."
"How so, Nan?"
"... I forced those children, the ones that I brought with me, to kill Rabier." I confessed. "And for good measure, allow me to repeat myself; I. Forced. Them. To. Kill."
I hear a teacup shatter on the floor beneath me.
"I mean... sure, I was invoking poetic justice, a slaver being maimed to death by his own slaves, and for a moment, I thought it was a good idea at the time." I stammered. "... But at what cost?"
"... So you feel as if you're having second thoughts on your actions." Van Reinchnott pointed out. "Although to be fair, forcing children to kill will most likely leave a person with a bitter taste in the mouth, unless that said person is the most heartless and depraved person on the face of creation, in which clearly, you're not as coldblooded as one would assume."
"... Funny how I was trying to hype myself to burn this whole damn rock to the ground, but upon realizing that not everyone is complicit to the madness and corruption that I'm fighting against, I'm starting to wonder why I'm even here in the first place." I pointed out.
"How so?" Reinchnott asked.
I snap my finger.
From my right wrist, Grimm wakes up and lets out a yawn.
The young lord falls out of his seat from the spectacle, trying to compose himself from the bizarre sight.
"... Sup."
"... As you can tell, my legendary weapon is not the conventional kind." I stated. "Grimm here is kind of the reason why my legs are still attached to my body, let alone why I'm even alive for this long in the first place while going off-grid."
"... Oh, that's nice and all." Van Reinchnott sweated nervously. "Apologizes, but I'm just as startled as the next person who happens to find out that the [Hero] has a monster companion for a weapon."
"Wait, you didn't notice the [Gremlin] hanging on my shoulder?" I pointed out to Genbu drinking from his flask while hanging from my shoulder.
"I tried to be tactful, Nan." He replied. "Thought it might be rude."
"Touche."
"Oi, don't mind me." Genbu spoke out. "You two keep bummin' each other while I get plastered."
I help him back up and we resume our conversation.
"So the point is, I need you to take care of these kids for me for a bit in my place." I stated. "I need them out of harms way after what I've put them through. In turn, I'll guide the [Shield Hero] and his compatriots here as a sort of a checkpoint while he flees to Siltvelt for protection."
"Wait, a [Hero] needing protection?" Van Reinchnott asked. "From what?"
"You do know that the King Regent here hates the [Shield Hero]'s guts via association, and now, he and his party are on the run as we speak." I pointed out. "Even as I tried to intervene as damage control several times over, the King seems to have a borderline-obsession on having the [Shield Hero]'s head on a pike at all costs, even after I burned down his castle looted that place bare with me as the clear culprit."
"Wait, you did WHAT!?" Van Reinchnott cried out in surprise.
"Don't worry, only the elder princess got away with third-degree burns on her face, but everyone else in the castle was relatively unharmed." I reassured. "But to be fair, I partly did it to make the King and his utter whore first daughter suffer, and I have no regrets whatsoever."
"Ugh... I would say that you've brought this upon yourself, but judging by your tone of speech, I'm assuming that you're perfectly self-aware of the fact, correct?" Van Reinchnott asked.
"Guilty as charged." I replied. "But like I said beforehand, they deserved it, and that goes double for Princess Malty."
Van Reinchnott lets out a deep sigh.
"... Honestly, just talking to you is stressful." He stated. "Is this how you feel whenever you partake in your endeavors?"
"Nope." I replied. "It's how I felt even before I ended up in this shithole continent. Just being around people leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. And the mere fact that I can off them if they so much as cross me or my standards acts as a sort of... relief to my mind and soul."
"... Now I'm starting to understand why you want to leave the kids here with me." Van Reinchnott pointed out. "You want to promote social autonomy and acceptance, not a deranged cult that would perpetuate the cycle of hatred that has plagued the lands for generations."
"I'm a bad person, I admit as such." I stated as I threw my hands up. "I just don't want to be a bad influence."
"Coming from someone who has the Crown Princess in tow?" Van Reinchnott pointed out.
"You saw her, didn't you?" I asked.
"The Crown Princess and I are quite aquatinted with each other." The lord pointed out. "I'd say though, who were those demihuman nobles next to her?"
"Would you believe me that that's her long-lost extended family?" I answered. "Turns out that the King's older sister was alive and well this whole time, and popped out two kids of her own."
"... Oh dear, imagine if the King found out." Van Reinchnott stifled his laughter at the irony presented.
"Oh I have plans to reveal it to his face." I grinned. "Just... not yet. Timing first."
"If it weren't for the fact that you weren't actively harming Princess Melty herself, then I would've not restrained my hand unto you, Nan." Reinchnott stated.
"What can I say?" I replied. "About the remaining 80% of my organic face is punchable. The other 20% is my metal cheek/half-jawline."
"Now that I take a closer look at you..." The young lord peered closer to me. "... Oh my god, you also lost an arm and a thumb?"
"And my right eye to boot, but got that replaced." I pointed to my [Geas], with the eye clicking to indicate its magitek nature.
"You been through a lot then." Van Reinchnott pointed out. "You know, in hindsight, you may not think of yourself as a [Hero], but your heart and scars tell otherwise."
"Pfft. You're joking." I replied. "I ain't got no time for glamour or public support."
"And yet, you chose to save them." Van Reinchnott pointed out. "You could've easily ignored it, but you chose to do what you thought was right."
"Even if I end up looking like a monster in the first place?" I pointed out. "For the record, I only did it because I couldn't stand the sight of Rabier's mere presence. Not out of a sense of righteous fury or justice. I just did it because I hated the guy."
"Personally, I think despite the facade that you put up, you're a decent human being." Van Reinchnott stated. "It's just that you're very... awkward when it comes to expressing yourself."
"Yeah, and the world around me ain't forgiving to us awkward types that you put me in." I replied with a tone of bitterness. "Unlike other the other [Heroes], I can't help but act upon my principals and actively challenge those who I disagree with. I don't conform to anything. I act because my gut says so, but at the same time, I want more out of my hollow parody of a life that's been thrusted upon me."
"We have the power to choose how we live, Nan." Reinchnott replied. "No shame in living true to yourself."
I let out a deep sigh.
"... I'm also perfectly aware of the fact that the other knights of this kingdom will come after you should I hide the kids here, as a possibility." I pointed out. "But to be fair, that's why I'm luring the [Shield Hero] here as insurance. Let them him fight so that the kids go unharmed."
"... If that's the case, then I understand." Van Reinchnott stated.
"For your people's sake, don't you dare die on me." I warned. "If I so much as hear that there's one foot of yours ends up in a pine box, I will bring you back as an [Undead] if I have to, because this world seems to have a really nasty habit of offing good people like you. So in essence, die on me, I'll bring you back to kill you twice over, got it?"
"Cross my heart, Nan."
"Good."
I then walk towards the door, open it, and reveal the kids hiding behind it.
"... Of you kids would be curious about this." I sighed out. "But I need you to listen and listen well."
I crouch down to meet them eye to eye.
"What you did back last night?" I stated. "That's a once and done deal. From now on, you kids live out your lives peacefully, because the road I go down is paved with nothing but corpses and misery. But before you say that you want to follow me, may I remind you all, I'm doing this for all of you, so that I don't see you kids end up like me. It's okay to live lives that not of a fighter. Your fight for survival is over, and I will make sure that it remains that way, even if it means that I have to burn this entire continent down to bedrock. So please, do all of us a favor, live peacefully, for all of you deserve it."
I then notice a grey-haired, tomboyish dog-girl walk up towards me.
"... But what if the bad people come back?" She asked. "What then?"
I sigh as I hand her the wooden mask that I've carved out on my way here.
I infuse a bit of my mana to reveal the mask as a white mask with an orange arch painted over its blue circle lenses, and three nodes of filters at the bottom of the mask.
"... Take responsibility." I answered as I handed the mask to the dog-girl. "If one has a right to live, then fight for it if you must. Choose death over enslavement, liberation over suppression, the mad truth over the peaceful lie. Put this on your face, and let it take it from there."
"What do you mean by that?" She asked.
I turn away from her.
"... You'll know." I replied.
I turn my head back towards Van Reinchnott.
"So they will be kept safe in your hands?" I asked.
"Swear it." He answered.
"Alright then."
I pat the dog-girl's head.
"Live." I stated. "You all deserve to."
I then walk away as the [Homunculus] gather towards me.
"Wait, Mr. [Hero]!"
The dog-girl hugs my leg, with tears soaking my pants.
"... *Sniff* Thank you..." She sniffed out.
I smile as I tried to hold in my tears.
"... You're welcome."
I quickly break away from her as tears cascade my cheeks.
"... Master, are you well?" Byakko asked.
I wipe my nose against my sleeve.
"Peachy."
We head outside and meet up with the others.
... And already, something was wrong.
"What the hell happened?" I asked.
"Oh hey big bro." I heard Garou.
Next to him were a pile of cleanly picked human bones, with his lips smeared in blood.
"A few of the male [Shadows] tried to jump the princess, but I got em before they can do anything." He sheepishly confessed.
"How many?" I asked.
"I stopped counting after 15." Garou replied. "Oh, and one of them got away, but Rino nailed his ass cheek with a poisoned arrow."
I groan in frustration.
"... One moment."
I [Summon] Strelitzia.
"How can I help darling?" The [Dryad] asked. "Also, where are the kids?"
"If we take them with us, they're most likely to get themselves killed, so I found them a place to crash for a good while." I stated. "Don't worry, the humans here are not dicks that deserve to die."
"Okay then, what you do need me for?"
I whisper something into her ear.
She gets the memo, and begins planting communicating with the surrounding foliage.
"Oh." I saw L'Arc's group come towards me. "What do you want?"
"... Kiddo." L'Arc the places his hand on my shoulder. "... I'm so sorry that I've even doubted you."
"... Wait, what?" I asked in confusion. "Did one of you three bug me?"
"If by 'bug', then listen into you in conversation in secret..." Glass pointed out. "... Check your clothes."
I frisk myself before finding a dull, greyish-blue gemstone in my left pocket.
"Okay... whodunit?" I asked.
"All three of us, really." Theresa confessed. "I casted [Bejeweled Phantom Sense-Aural] onto an angelite gemstone beforehand, Glass used [Magic Hand] to sneak that stone into you, all the while, L'Arc distracted you at the beginning."
"... Gotta admit, not bad of a ploy you just pulled over me." I grinned. "But still, my offer still stands for the next... 12ish hours, I presume?"
"We're not going to leave you, Nan." L'Arc reaffirmed. "I myself, now believe you have a righteous heart, despite your... less lucid moments."
"If L'Arc stays, then I will too." Theresa stated. "And honestly, I can buy that you're really a bad person, just a person with a bad temper."
"Gee, that makes me feel way better about myself." I dryly replied. "But still, thanks."
"For me personally, I'm only staying to watch you." Glass stated to me. "You were a [Hero], so I'll see to it that you conduct yourself like one. Not only that, you still haven't kept your end of your bargain."
"Threat of death still stands?" I asked.
"Don't make me, Nan." Glass glared at me, yandere-fish-eyed. "I despise liars more then I despise Medea."
"Amen to that." I quickly backed away to Strelitzia. "So you done?"
She nods.
"Alright everyone!" I cried out. "Clean up and let's move!"
Strelitzia eats the bones and all get the hell out of Reinchnott's territory.
"So Nan..." L'Arc asked me. "Now whereto?"
"... Honestly, no goddamn clue other then home base." I stated as I took out my [Portable Dragon's Hourglass]. "But then again, I've been winging it since the beginning."
"It's even a miracle one how you're even still standing." Glass commented.
"No adventure's without its fair share of beatings." I giggled.
"I'm pretty sure there's a line between beatings and masochism." Theresa jabbed.
"Ouch dude."
I peek outside for a moment, and spot a rather thin-looking stone bridge-
... Oh goddamnit.
I let out a frustrated snarl before going off-road.
"Nan! Where're you going!?" L'Arc yelled towards me.
"EVERYONE INTO THE FOLIAGE!" I ordered. "I NEED CHECK THE ROAD AHEAD!"
"WHAT ABOUT YOU, BIG BRO!?" Garou asked.
"PREPARE FOR THE WORST!" I cried back. "WE'RE ENTERING INTO A POSSIBLE HORNET'S NEST UP AHEAD!"
... The term "Hornet Nest" was an understatement.
Why?
If I recall the manga panels of Shield Hero, the rock bridge, the forest, and goddamn mountain in the background?
... Please God, don't let this be that scene.
I run through the bushes and find myself in a standoff between the [Three Heroes] and Naofumi's party.
... So even without Melty in tow, they still go after Naofumi over me, the actual culprit behind this "kidnapping".
Whatever the King, the [Three Heroes Church], and Malty were planning, they still go after Naofumi despite me being the one to make their ploys go pear-shaped in the first place.
... I swear, just how petty are they to go after Naofumi over the actual culprit!?
But that won't matter now. Why?
Because between Naofumi and the Three Dumbasskateers, was me, completely out of the blue, and emitting a presence of oddity, yet clear danger.
... Suddenly, I realize that I can make this little mess work in my favor.
But first...
"Genbu." I asked the [Gremlin] on my shoulder. "Can I have a smoke?"
He offers me a cigarette and a light, I take one, deep drag into my breath, as my very first smoke in my life burned out to a stub, right before I exhale out a cloud of tobacco-flavored smoke.
"... Good evening, gentlemen." I addressed the four [Heroes] as I killed the light with the sole of my boot. "To what occasion am I rudely interrupting?"
To Be Continued...
Author's Notes: HOLY CRAP, 2020 is already off to a shitty start for me.
I went to the hospital to get my tumor and 15cm of my small intestine surgically removed (thankfully, no cancer), I'm not allowed to eat overly spicy food and fresh produce until further notice (surgeon's orders), and over the past two months, I've forcibly lost a grand total of 40 pounds of body weight, and now I have an incision scar running down below my naval to pelvis.
... As one may tell, this was the reason for the lack of traffic for my fanfic.
Thankfully, most of the pains are gone, but I can't afford to watch Archer, Harley Quinn, or any comedy anime of Winter 2020 unless I want to put myself through another episode of pain.
Hey, I said mostly, not all of it.
As for this Epic, holy crap, writing this took the whole week.
Between this and my recent debut, "The Dustbin", combined with the fact that second semester starting next week upon uploading this Epic?
... I might be gone for a while.
Stat Updates (Current Party):
Name: [Rising Conqueror] [Nan Hon-Jah]
Class: [Tome Fallen]
Level: 77
Affinities: [Ten Primordial Sins]
Alignment: Chaotic Mad/Good
Equipment: [Forbidden Tome, Grimm the Heretic], [Grimoire Heart], [Lemegeton], [Sibylline], [Necromancer's Robes]. [Mire Boots], [Wight's Rune of Spite], [Silver Wolf's Maw], [Bandit's Silver Thumb], [Visage of Madness], [Mystic Geas: Puppeteer], [Portable Dragon's Hourglass]
Battalion: [Scribes/Librarians]
Attack: 90 (+195)
Defense: 86 (+10)
Agility: 87 (+75)
Luck: 79 (+85)
HP: 680 (+95)
MP: 790 (+305)
Name: [Genbu]
Class: ?
Level: ?
Affinites: None
Alignment: ?
Equipment: [Wayward Nomad's Garbs], [Silver Pocket Watch & Chain], [Silver Shortsword], [Silver Buckler], [Fafnir's Flametongue]
Attack: ?
Defense: ?
Agility: ?
Luck: 9,999
HP: ?
MP: ?
Name: [Byakko]
Class: [Hermit]
Level: 55
Affinites: [Fire], [Lightning], [Light]
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Equipment: [Medic's Scalpels], [Cleric's Cane], [Faithful Suit], [Blessed Silver Bracer Platings], [Field Medic's Utility Belt]
Attack: 54 (+20)
Defense: 53 (+100)
Agility: 61 (+30)
Luck: 49 (+50)
HP: 490 (+120)
MP: 490 (+120)
Name: [Alpha]
Class: [Perfected Homunculus Reaver]
Level: 50
Affinities: [Dark]
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Equipment: [Faithful Suit], [Death Scythe]
Attack: 55 (+100)
Defense: 40 (+20)
Agility: 54 (+20)
Luck: 41 (+10)
HP: 300 (+100)
MP: 100 (+100)
Name: [Beta]
Class: [Perfected Homunculus War Mage]
Level: 50
Affinities: [Fire], [Ice], [Lightning]
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Equipment: [Faithful Suit], [Thunder Coil Mace]
Attack: 48 (+80)
Defense: 46 (+10)
Agility: 54 (+20)
Luck: 43 (+20)
HP: 250 (+100)
MP: 500 (+150)
Name: [Chi]
Class: [Perfected Homunculus Brigadier]
Level: 50
Affinities: [Light] & [Dark]
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Equipment: [Faithful Suit], [Weißer-Ritter 9mm Custom], [Schwarz-Drache 9mm Custom]
Attack: 48 (+120)
Defense: 46 (+10)
Agility: 54 (+50)
Luck: 43 (+100)
HP: 250 (+30)
MP: 200 (+50)
So, what do you audience think of this Epic?
Will the kids be in good hands now that Nan's away from them?
Will our protagonist find his way out of the mess he ran into?
And just what the hell does that mask from Borderlands do!?
Please leave a comment or a review, for I'd like to know what my audience are thinking!